The Heart is a Bloom
by mtk1970
Summary: Is fame worth it? A different take on the characters of Twilight and how they met. Edward is a famous musician who has a past demon that is about to catch up with him. Unfortunately it is just as he has met the woman of his dreams.
1. Chapter 1: A Meeting of Consequence

Chapter One – A Meeting of Consequence

EPOV

The view was nothing short of magnificent. I had uninterrupted views across the city towards the ocean and coastline as I looked out the, floor to roof, windows that graced our apartment. Such beauty should make me in a better mood but it wasn't helping at all. I sighed and turned my head to quickly sweep my glance across the luxurious surroundings of the place we were currently calling home for a few weeks. Only the best for us and yet here I stood, feeling agitated and completely at odds with myself and my life in general. I felt a pang of guilt. How could I be so selfish? I had a life that most people would only dream about. A life full of fame, fortune and fun. Of course there was the hard work but no one else but us saw that; they just saw what they wanted – the lifestyle of the rich and famous and getting the kickbacks that naturally came with that role. Hard work wasn't my problem, however; it was the loneliness and lack of privacy that was really causing me the heartache. Besides a handful of people, including those who were currently in this room with me, and of course my parents, I could trust no one. Everyone had an ulterior motive in befriending me and although I was used to it by now, it didn't mean I had to like it. Lately I was feeling more and more like something was missing and I feared that I would never be able to fill that gap, that over the past few months had become a huge gaping chasm. Music was no longer filling it for me, even though it was a passion I could never let go of. I wanted more.

My eyes naturally found Emmett and Rosalie as they sprawled across the lounge together. Emmett was watching the big screen and Rose was flicking through car magazines while her head rested comfortably in his lap. Emmett was idly playing with her hair with one hand as he clenched his other fist in the air every time his team did something he was happy with. Rosalie would unthinkingly adjust her position every time he moved a little too excitedly about the game and he would flick his eyes towards her with a "Sorry Babe" and the wind up would start all over again. The two of them looked so comfortable and I felt the loneliness prick away at my consciousness once again. It was no different with Alice and Jasper. They sat at the far end of the room, heads bowed over their game of chess; eyes sparkling and small chuckles escaping their lips at infrequent intervals when one got the better of the other. They were at complete ease with one another and I turned away from them in self disgust that I could be jealous of what the people who I loved most in this world, were lucky enough to have, and faced out the window again.

"I have to get out of here," I murmured to myself but Emmett responded anyway.

"Are you ok, bro?"

"Sure. I think I might try and go for a run. The day is perfect for being outside. I could get rid of some of this excess energy." I answered him as I headed towards my room to change into appropriate running gear.

"Do you want me to come with you." Emmett questioned good naturedly but I shook my head in denial. I wasn't about to ruin their time of rest – god only knew that we didn't get enough of it while we were on the road.

Jasper looked up from his game to join in with the conversation. " I noticed that there is a way out the back, yesterday, when I was talking to the hotel manager. I think it's a staff entrance and exit. You might have a better chance of getting out undetected if you go out that way. It's worth a try anyway."

I reentered the room as he spoke, slipping a dark coloured t-shirt over my head. "Thanks Jazz. It would be kind of nice to go on a run without the world by my side." I grimaced at the very real chance that this would happen.

"Yeh, well good luck with that." Emmett chuckled and returned his attention to the TV. I said my goodbyes and headed towards the lift. I had a couple of hours up my sleeve before rehearsals and then tonight's performance. I was hoping that I could use those hours discreetly, not with the world breathing down my neck.

I stopped the lift on the second floor and chose to walk down the last couple of flights of stairs to improve my chances of being unnoticed. On the ground floor I spoke briefly to the manager who directed me to the staff exit that Jasper had mentioned. Jim had been fantastic in keeping the media and fans contained outside our hotel so that at least inside we had some semblance of normality. Outside, though, it was a completely different ballgame. I placed my cap on my head and walked quietly out the door, head down to ensure I made eye contact with no one. I was not in the mood for idle interaction with people who did not care about me. I just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible and go for a run, free from scrutiny. A big ask …… but I was going to try anyway.

I took a breath and opened the door, before rushing through it blindly, only to collide with someone coming the other way. Books and papers were instantly flying through the air as I heard a small hiss of frustration. I swore under my breath – I did not need this right now. I bent down to retrieve some of the books that had landed on the ground around me and that is when the scent hit me – it was all lavender and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on, and it was intoxicating. I was obviously working on auto pilot because it wasn't until I looked up from my own hands on the books that I realized someone was down on their knees also and that person was talking to me without me registering a single word. When my eyes met hers I completely lost myself in the depths of the most incredibly beautiful chocolate pair of eyes that I had ever seen. I stared at the girl uncomprehendingly and she looked back at me oddly before blushing a rosy red. I inwardly shook myself out of my stupefied trance to try and take note of the words coming out of her mouth and realized that she was apologizing profusely for knocking into me.

"I am so sorry. I am such a klutz and I didn't realise anyone was coming out the door. I should have been looking where I was going."

At this point I should have responded with my own apology, especially considering I hadn't been looking where I was going either, but I couldn't speak. All I could do was look at her dumbly before offering her books back to her silently. She accepted them with a slight smile. "Um, thanks…. study, you know how it is. Trying to cram some last minute study in, once work has finished. I am really sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you or anything…." Her voice trailed off and I was sorry that it did. There was something alluring and musical about the sound of her voice that was almost irresistible to me. I pulled myself up short. I was really losing it if I was having these kinds of thoughts about a girl's scent and the sound of her voice when I had only just met her, and hadn't even spoken to her yet. Get a grip boy.

"No, not hurt at all. More just shocked and I am also so……"

I stopped as I heard voices in the distance calling out and knew instantly that my escape was about to become public. "Shane" said the disembodied voice, clearly coming closer. "Lindsay said she saw him in the foyer and then he just disappeared the opposite way. Maybe he came out a back way. Come this way…."

My eyes sought the door in a panic. I needed to get back inside quickly before I was found out here with this poor innocent girl. The media would have a field day with that one. I groaned when I realized that the only way back in was by key. The girl who was standing in front of me, with the confused look on her face, would have to have one but when I glanced at her hands they were just filled with books and no keys were in sight. Damn – there was no time.

"The key, do you have the key?" My voice was filled with urgency and she quickly reacted to it. She put her books down next to the bin and started to rummage through the tote she had over her shoulder. There was no time. I didn't think; I just acted and before I knew it I had grabbed the girl by the wrist and pulled her towards a hiding spot between the wall and the large bins.

"Hey what the hell do you think you are doing?" she asked in a frightened voice. I placed two fingers against her lips to stop her from speaking.

"Trust me please. I'm not going to hurt you." She must have read the pleading look in my eyes because she relaxed slightly and I was all of a sudden way too aware of her body pressed against mine and the feel of her soft lips against my fingers. Her heart was pounding in her chest way too quickly and I swore at myself for frightening her so much to bring about that reaction. I removed my fingers and we both listened as footsteps and voices came towards us. Her face was looking up at me wide eyed and I had the sudden urge to bend down and kiss her forehead to let her know that it would be fine. Of course I couldn't do that. The fact that I could even think it was ridiculous. Instead I just shook my head slightly to encourage her to remain silent.

If we were caught like this it would be so much worse than if I'd just remained outside the door and accepted that I'd have to face the world, and that I'd suddenly be linked with some innocent bystander in all the gossip magazines. The girl standing next to me, due to no choice of her own, did not deserve any of this. I cursed yet again in my mind. My lack of thinking coherently had put us in a potentially destructive situation. Ways of getting out of it ran through my head but none of them were satisfactory. I would be happy to accept whatever the media wrote about me; most of what came out as news about me were lies anyway; but I wasn't willing to expose this girl to the scrutiny. I wondered briefly at this sudden surge of protectiveness towards a brown eyed girl without a name. I sealed the question into the recesses of my mind to look at later.

I had about given up hope that we'd get out of this unscathed when I realized that the footsteps had stopped heading our way and the voice's conversation had changed.

"Jasper and Alice are heading towards the front door. Quick or we'll miss them" Their retreating footsteps were like music to my ears. Alice – I could always rely on her uncanny ability to know when I needed help. I had no doubt their sudden show was all about me and would only last a few minutes before the two of them would retreat back to the haven of our room. I owed her big time.

Upon giving my attention back to the girl I noticed the confusion had not left her face and she was silently waiting for some cue as to what she should do next. I gingerly removed myself from her side and we were soon standing in the relative openness of the laneway again.

My embarrassment was immense so my response to the girl's exclamation of " Well….that was bizarre" was harsher than needed.

"Welcome to my life." I winced at the coldness in my own voice and tried to bite back my next words but they were out before I could take them back. "It's what you all dream about isn't it. You've got a story to tell now. I hope they make it worth your while." The sound of my footsteps almost drowned out her words as I began to jog away from her.

She was clearly bemused by the whole situation and I wasn't helping. "Ok…..I am not so sure that I've ever dreamt of being dragged behind a dumpster by a total stranger but if you say so….." She trailed off, obviously aware that she'd get no explanation from me as she watched me move away from her. I'd never felt so rude in my life…….. or so confused. I began to run faster, putting distance between us and as I went for my solitary run I wondered why a pair of chocolate brown eyes were still foremost in my mind.


	2. Chapter 2: Apologies

Chapter Two – Apologies

EPOV

The run had probably done a lot for my body but absolutely nothing for my mind. The agitation I had been feeling hadn't left me – only grown stronger as I thought about what I had done to that girl downstairs. Luckily, I had been basically left alone during the run, with only a few people giving me second cursory glances, so I hadn't had to deal with any form of interaction that could have resulted in me losing my temper; I was feeling so on edge it wasn't funny. I entered the hotel apartment, feeling far from content only to find my sister grinning at me as she unfolded her legs and stood up.

"That good hey? I thought I had helped but obviously I was wrong." Her face crinkled in consternation at the thought that she might have misread her own thoughts and it made me smile, knowing that she was probably internally berating herself for no good reason.

"No, you weren't wrong Alice. In fact you saved my skin big time and if I wasn't covered in sweat right now I would be giving you the hugest hug." Alice took a step backwards and it made me grin even further. " …but we both know how you would feel about that so I will make do with a simple thank you. If it hadn't been for your little intervention I would have been found behind a dumpster with an innocent girl who didn't deserve the media attention it would have attracted."

Alice's eyes widened in horror at the image I had created. "What on earth were you doing behind a dumpster Edward? That is just so….so..gross. All I got was your panicked face, the sound of voices searching for you and a pair of brown eyes. And since when do you have little private interactions with your fans. You are always so proper about these kinds of things." Alice was brimming with curiosity.

"She wasn't a fan and it's a long story. One that will have to wait, because I need a shower and then I am going to have to go and apologise, to the said girl, before rehearsals. Where is everyone else?"

"Getting ready." She called after me as I made my way to my own room. " and just so you are aware Edward, you will spill about what happened out there. You owe it to me since it was me who saved your bacon."

I sighed as I turned the shower on and began to undress, ready for the soothing heat that was about to cascade on my body. I did owe it to her – I always did. All of us were lucky enough to be the recipient of her help when she had one of her visions. She never saw too much detail but what she did get she was able to get a feeling on and therefore act accordingly. She told me once it was like getting small snapshots of an event in her head. None of us made a deal about her ability and it certainly wasn't something we shared with the world. We all understood that she would be labeled as a freak if people were aware that she saw things before they happened. It wasn't your regular talent but Alice was Alice and we accepted what she could do as normal; in our reality anyway.

As I stepped under the shower my thoughts returned to the same thing that I had been thinking about ever since our accidental meeting – the girl. I had never responded so strongly to a girl before and it was disconcerting, to say the least. I began to think that maybe I was only reacting to my own poor behavior rather than the girl herself. I had been brought up to be a gentleman: a person who treated others with respect. I had shown none of that when I had run into that girl and I was guessing the only way I could get her out of my mind was to apologise for being so rude. I could alleviate my guilt quickly with that apology and then move on with my everyday life, without having to think about a girl I didn't even know. Yes – that was exactly what I needed to do. Apologise and move on – it was a plan. I felt reassured that my little problem would be fixed within a matter of half an hour and began to get myself ready for the rest of our day feeling more at ease.

By the time I was entirely ready our manager, Laurent, had joined the rest of my siblings in the apartment's living area. He was going through some sort of agenda with Alice, who was the planner amongst us. It was an ideal situation; we had a manager to deal with the mechanics of the music industry but when it came to the organization Alice was the one we trusted to do the right thing. Laurent had our musical reputation in hand whilst Alice had our lives in hand. Without Alice I doubt very much that we would have remained as close knit as we were or that we would have survived the cut throat world of fame. She was our emotional rock.

Laurent registered my entrance into the room with a brief nod of his head before returning all his attention back to the notes in front of him and the changes that Alice was suggesting should be made. I was tuned out to the conversation, not only because I trusted Alice's choices implicitly but because I was trying to figure out the best way of approaching a completely different scenario. How was I meant to apologise to someone when I didn't know who they were or where they would be? We hadn't traded any niceties and I really didn't want to bring any more attention to myself, or to her, by having to make enquiries. I could only imagine how the question "Would you happen to know where I could find the dark haired girl with the most amazing chocolate brown eyes and intoxicating smell." would come across if I was to ask it. No – I was going to have to find her much more discretely than that, but how? Maybe I wasn't going to get my apology over and done with as quickly as I had first thought.

"Well that all looks in order Alice," Laurent stated casually as he looked around at the rest of us " Are we ready to get to rehearsals. I have the sound people down there now so hopefully it will all be set up before we get there."

"All set. I need to speak to Jim downstairs first so maybe Jazz and Edward can come in my car and the rest of you go together. We'll follow as soon as I have spoken to Jim."

As everyone moved to follow Alice's instructions I raised my eyebrows at Alice and got an answering smirk in return. She was making sure that she got the opportunity to grill me about what had happened earlier; there was nothing to stop her once we were alone in the car and there was nowhere for me to escape to. I sighed in resignation and trailed behind the group as we headed downstairs. Laurent, Emmett and Rosalie made their way to the cars and Jasper and I followed Alice as she headed towards the manager's office.

"I won't be long," she said breezily as she knocked on Jim's door, leaving Jasper and I to wait in the bar area.

"Might as well have a quick drink, knowing Alice and her planning," Jasper suggested good humouredly and I agreed readily. The bar was basically empty at this time of the afternoon so we were spared any of the open stares that so often occurred when we were in public. We ordered our drinks and sat quietly conversing about what the next couple of weeks had in store for us.

The musical lilt of her voice, followed by the soft sound of her laughter reached me before I saw her. I instantly tensed. I now had the opportunity to speak to her face to face without being in the awkward position of having the media racing towards us, and yet I felt compelled to remain hidden so that I did not have to have any type of interaction with her at all. Just the sound of her voice was doing odd things to me and I was fearful of the consequences once I made the apology, that I had previously felt would alleviate me of my guilt and get rid of her image from my head. I now knew that it had been a silly assumption to make. I hadn't turned to face her yet and I could already feel myself being lost in those soulful eyes. I didn't want to see them darken in distaste as she recollected how rude I had been this morning but more than anything else I didn't want the one sided attraction I felt to grow any stronger; it was something I couldn't afford.

Jasper was aware of my sudden tension. "Are you ok Edward?" His calm demeanor brought about an answering calm in me.

"I just need to do something Jasper. I won't be a minute." I needed to get this over as quick as possible. I got off the bar stool and watched as the girl walked out of a door side by side with a man. I gave him a passing look but then concentrated all my attention on the girl. She was smiling winningly up at him and I fully understood his answering grin. I watched the way that smile curved up the full lips on her heart shaped face, lighting up her eyes with mirth. Her dark hair was pulled back from her face and the few wavy tendrils that had escaped their spot were in stark comparison to the paleness of her skin, as they brushed against her cheek and neck. The attraction had just stepped up a notch – exactly what I didn't want to happen. I reluctantly forced myself to move towards the two of them. It was now or never.

"Ah, excuse me," The two of them stopped their conversation to look at me. The man's face showed recognition and it was apparent that he knew who I was from our music. I glanced at the girl and saw recognition but for a completely different reason – she was wary of me and I couldn't blame her for that.

"Is there something we can do for you, Mr Cullen?" The man questioned politely.

" I was wondering if I could speak to you please?" I directed the question at the girl and the man looked surprised but backed off immediately. The girl looked at him strangely but answered me instead.

"Certainly Mr… er… Cullen," the girl frowned as she looked up at me expectantly. I saw the small rush of blood tinge her cheeks for the second time today. I had to stifle a combined moan and giggle from exiting my mouth. This girl did not know who I was. A small part of me rejoiced at that and then I felt another round of guilt. All the insinuations I had thrown at her this morning about selling the story about our meeting had been useless because she was not aware that there was even a story to sell. I had been angry at her for no good reason. To her I was probably just an obnoxious man who she'd had an unlucky encounter with – one she would rather forget.

The man was moving away discretely to allow us to have a conversation privately. "I wanted to apologise for my behavior this morning. I had no right to be so rude to you," I tried to make my voice smooth to cover my nervousness. Her nearness was again affecting my thinking processes and I didn't want to embarrass myself any further than I already had. I watched her face for any signs of reproach but there were none. Her eyes were looking at me steadily and I knew before she opened her mouth that she had accepted my apology.

"There is no need to apologise. You were obviously worried about something and I was in the way." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled shyly at me. " I am curious though…. why were we hiding behind a….." She didn't get to finish because all of a sudden we were no longer alone. Alice and the hotel manager had joined us without me being aware. I had been so caught up in the expressions on her face and the words she was speaking that I hadn't noticed.

"So Bella you have already met one of our special guests, I see. Alice has just told me that you are all off to rehearsals now, Edward. Tonight's the big night for Seattle. I imagine all your concerts are sold out. It must truly be an amazing experience to perform in front of full crowds like that." Jim was speaking to us animatedly and I nodded at him, pasting a smile on my face. My attention was drawn to the girl I now knew was Bella. The whiteness of her skin had become whiter still, if that was possible. Her eyes reflected the sudden dawning of knowledge and she was embarrassed. As Jim and Alice went over to say hello to Jasper I smiled encouragingly at her.

"You were asking me about dumpsters."

"Um yeh but I have worked it out now thanks…. Edward Cullen," She shut her eyes and rubbed her forehead briefly before opening them with a mischievous intonation to her chuckle. "Well I guess it's my turn to apologise. I hadn't put two and two together. Quite stupid of me really. I should have known who you were. Now I fully understand what happened this morning. No need for explanations."

It pleased me that she could see the humour in the situation rather than making a deal about it. There was no fawning, thank goodness. That would have upset me to see.

"No need to apologise for not knowing someone. There's no rule to say you should." I held out my hand. "But thanks for accepting my apology anyway. Regardless of the reasons, what I did was not the right reaction. Should we call it a truce?"

"Absolutely," she held out her small hand to grasp mine and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach as I looked at our hands. Along the underside of her wrist was a darkening stain of colour. She was bruised and comprehension swept through me like a mad current. My eyes darted up to hers and she tried to quickly pull her hand away from my grasp.

"Do not tell me that I did that," my voice was hard. I had unintentionally harmed her in my attempt to get us away from the media. That was unforgiveable.

"I bruise easily. Don't let it worry you. I am always banging into things and have the marks to show for my efforts. It's no big deal."

"But we both know that you didn't bang into something this time." She looked ready to counter what I had said so I turned away from her quickly. " I am sorry Bella. I had no right."

I strode past the place where Jasper and Alice were waiting for me. What on earth had just happened? One apology had only led to yet another apology and this time it was not something that I would easily forgive myself for. I was attracted to this girl named Bella and before we had even met I had hurt her.

I felt the gap grow even wider.


	3. Chapter 3: Telling the Tale

Chapter 3 – Telling the Tale

BPOV

Listening for sounds of life inside our apartment, I turned the key and opened the door to be greeted with relative darkness. I wasn't deceived by the silence or lack of light though. It was quite possible that Angela was home, but hidden in the photo lab she had set up in the spare room, working on her final project.

"Angela, are you home?" I called out as I began to flick on lights. I sighed with relief when I heard her muffled answer through the door, letting me know she would be out in a few minutes. I really needed to talk to her. Today's events needed to be shared and Angela was the person I trusted the most. Grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and two glasses from the cupboard I settled myself on the lounge in readiness for the conversation we were about to have. I should be studying, and had in fact been trying to at the library ever since I finished work this afternoon, but I couldn't concentrate on anything except the face of a certain incredibly good looking man. Angela might be able to help me work through the bizarre nature of my day so that I could return to what I needed to do – study for my final exam. I had made it through the majority of them unscathed – I couldn't fall apart at the final post. Distraction would not help my cause.

Angela blinked against the sudden light as she walked out of the darkroom. Once she had adjusted she noticed the bottle of wine and smiled gleefully. "Ooohh wine. Something tells me that you've had an interesting day."

"Aha. More like bizarre and a tad confusing."

"Ok. Do tell. I have been locked away in that room for ages working on the photos and need some entertainment. Crack that bottle." Angela scurried over to the lounge next to me and happily plonked herself beside me reaching for the glass I offered.

"How is the project going?" I was stalling, I knew, but I also wanted to ensure that I wasn't taking Angela away from her work at the wrong time.

"It's going." Angela exhaled deeply. " I just want to get it finished so that I can be free and concentrate on the wedding. I can't believe I've almost completed my course Bella. But for now I need a break and I need to hear about your bizarre day."

I brought the wine up to my own lips and allowed myself to collect my thoughts. Thank goodness I had Angela as my sounding board. She had been there for me ever since our high school days in Forks and I had been ecstatic when we had contemplated going to the same university in Seattle. At least I would have one friend heading in the same direction as me. When I had been placed in a dorm room with a rather annoying and vindictive girl, at the beginning of our university career, I had almost given up right there and then and scuttled straight back to the safety of Forks but Angela had come to the rescue, offering me a cheap room in the apartment that her parents had in Seattle. Our friendship had only grown over the years and we had been through a lot together. I knew that the best way to sort out the turmoil in my head at this moment was to tell her about it.

I told her everything from the moment I had literally run into him until the moment he had walked away from me in the bar. As I told her, I relived it.

_I was wondering if I had come back to work too early as I quickly headed up the lane way leading to the staff entrance. I only had the one exam left and I should've waited until it was finished before I returned. Jim was so good about giving me time off during examination time, he would have let me had an extra few days off but I knew within myself that that was exactly the reason why I had come back. Jim needed me and he had always done so much for me that I didn't want to say no. When you had a great boss you didn't want to exploit their good nature._

_Books flew everywhere when I collided with someone coming out the opposite way through the staff door. I hissed in anger. Would I never get over this clumsiness that I had been cursed with all my life? Surely getting older had to have some sort of rewards. Clumsiness was kind of cute on children but was nothing but frustrating on a 22 year old. I looked up, expecting to find one of my work mates laughing at me as we collected the books I had dropped, but only found the eyes of a stranger. His eyes held mine in fascination. They were the most engaging green colour I had ever seen and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I thought about it. He was looking at me as if he didn't understand what had just happened. I felt the words rolling from my mouth as I nervously apologized for running into him, explaining that I was a klutz. He was still looking into my eyes as if he trying to figure something out and was remaining silent. He then suddenly became aware of the books in his hand and gave them to me silently. Why wasn't he speaking to me? The silence was making me feel more nervous so I tried to fill it with meaningless chit chat. _

"_Um, thanks…. study, you know how it is. Trying to cram some last minute study in, once work has finished. I am really sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you or anything…."_

_He started to answer me and I felt relief for a short period, but then he stopped as he tried listening to voices coming from far away. I didn't take them in. I was too interested in staring at his hands. They were beautiful. An artist's hands I was sure – long fingers that looked strong and sure. My eyes trailed up his arms and they too were strong and masculine. Goodness what was I doing? – analyzing the beauty of this stranger's body parts. I forced myself to not linger any further on his perfection and raised my eyes to note that he was looking at the door in a panic. What was going on? Why did he look like he needed to escape from my presence all of a sudden?_

"_The key, do you have the key?" His voice was panicked and I wanted to help him in any way I could. I dumped the books down and started looking for the keys in my bag. The next minute I knew, I was feeling his vice like grip on my wrist and I was being dragged behind the dumpster. Yes he did have strong hands and no, this was just not right._

"_Hey, what the hell do you think you are doing?"_

"_Trust me please. I am not going to hurt you." His words were genuine. I could sense it but what made me relax more than anything was the feel of his fingers against my lips. Despite myself, and the strange situation I was in, I felt a jolt of sensation move across my lips. His fingers were gentle and tender not restraining at all. His eyes were pleading for my silence and I granted it. I hoped I would not regret my decision to go along with him. I should be yelling and screaming blue murder but instead I was standing silently beside a man who was built like a Greek god and wondering if the heartbeat I felt in my chest was so uncontrollably quick because I was frightened or because I was attracted to the body that was lightly pressed against my own. Whimsical notions weren't normally part of who I was but in this instance I wasn't thinking straight. When he moved his fingers away from my lips the emptiness almost made me gasp in confusion. I bit the sound down. We were both listening to footsteps and voices coming our way and I did not understand any of it. He didn't want to be found here with me obviously but why the urgency? I forced myself to look in those eyes again and saw him looking back at me with concern. Something flickered within his eyes and then passed. He just shook his head slightly._

_Moments later the man's stance changed and I knew he was relieved. The voices had moved away back in the direction they had come from. Again I did not really take in what they were saying but he was still listening so I waited as patiently as I could to hear what he expected me to do next. When he moved out from behind the bins I followed. I was sure I looked lost and confused because that was exactly how I was feeling._

"_Well that was….bizarre….." I began to speak but was then surprised by the ferocity of his response to my words._

"_Welcome to my life._ _It's what you all dream about isn't it. You've got a story to tell now. I hope they make it worth your while." I recoiled from the ice in his voice. I wasn't sure why I deserved his anger. He was the one who had dragged me behind a dumpster. Next thing he had turned away from me and had started to jog in the opposite direction. Damn him. He wasn't even going to explain what had just happened._

"_Ok…..I am not so sure that I've ever dreamt of being dragged behind a dumpster by a total stranger but if you say so….." He wasn't listening so I stopped. _

"_You know what" I thought to myself "You might be attractive but you are a complete jerk"_

I came back to the present to see Angela leaning towards me in anticipation. "Oh my god, Bella. Who was he? Was he really that good looking? Did you see him again? What did he say?"

"All in good time Angela. The story hasn't finished yet but I do have to say in my own defense that I didn't really look at him too closely, besides his eyes and his hands and… well you know what I mean. He was attractive to me but in a different way than I had ever envisioned. I didn't think about how he looked so much as how he made me feel. I know that sounds bizarre but it was true. His eyes were mesmerizing – there was so much to be read in those eyes but his actual face? Well, if you had asked me what he looked like I wouldn't have been able to say exactly. I wouldn't have been able to describe his features to you, not then anyway."

"But you could now?"

"Absolutely"

"So that means you did see him again. Oh this is way too much. Get on with the story. What happened?"

_I tried to put my little encounter out of my head as I went in to work. I reported into a busy Jim who let me know that Sonya had left me a list of what she wanted me to do, while she was away, in our office. Sonya was Jim's Personal assistant and I was her protégée so to speak. When she wasn't there I did her job for her and when she was, I worked in the bar. Jim utilized my organizational skills for his best interests. He was a busy man who ran this hotel in Seattle like a well oiled machine. He handpicked all of his staff and when Phil, my mother's husband , had called in a favour last year to get me a job here to help me make it through university, he was more than happy to give me one. I, in turn, had paid him back by being a completely conscientious and hard working employee. I was grateful for the opportunity to pay for university myself rather than allowing my parents to try and do it for me. This job had helped me have the freedom I wanted and gave me some excellent work references for the future._

_The next couple of hours went by quickly. I fixed rosters for Jim to oversee and organised some new stock to come in for both the restaurant and the bar. Sonya had left me some hotel reviews that patrons had filled out and asked me to see if I could note any concerns that could be addressed with Jim when he was ready. I found the work interesting and variable – just the way I liked it. Today it was definitely helping me avoid the images in my head; I had been limited to thinking about him only a handful of times rather than the hundreds of times that it could have been. _

"_Hey Ryan. Do you want to check these orders I've done before I give them to Jim? I am pretty sure I have covered everything you asked for." I smiled at Ryan as he entered my office._

"_Thanks Bella. How did the exams go?" Ryan reached for the list and gave it a cursory glance as he asked the question._

"_Fine I think. Only one to go in a couple of days time and then I am finished. It will be such a relief."_

"_I am sure you did better than fine Bella. We all know you are the whizz kid around here." I laughed in embarrassment at his compliment. I did hope I had done ok. I was so nervous of failing at the last moment when my future was calling me. I didn't want to have to redo any of my courses._

_He okayed my list and then we moved out the door towards the bar. "How is your family going Ryan? I bet Kara is growing into a real little heart breaker." I smiled at him. We both knew I had a soft spot for his three year old daughter. Talking about his daughter was his favourite topic and his eyes lit up as he was about to answer me. A voice halted our conversation._

"_Ah, excuse me," a low, smooth voice spoke and we both automatically looked at the person it belonged to. Time stood still for a brief moment and I took in a deep steadying breath. It was the guy I had been thinking about and I wasn't sure how I should feel about that._

"_Is there something we can do for you, Mr Cullen?" Ryan asked politely and to my surprise quite reverently. What was that all about? I know we must always be polite in this industry but he spoke like he knew this man and he was something special._

" _I was wondering if I could speak to you please?" The question was for me, not Ryan, and I watched the look of surprise flit across Ryan's face before he stepped back to allow us to speak. I searched my fuddled mind for the name Ryan had just used for this man, who was obviously a guest. I found it and tried to make my voice sound professional._

"_Certainly Mr… er… Cullen," Not so professional. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks yet again and inwardly rallied at its betrayal. My ability to blush way to readily was another aspect about myself that I found frustrating. Actually I could probably write a list a mile long of all the things about myself I found frustrating._

_My eyes sought his and I wondered at why he seemed somewhat familiar. It was almost like I knew him from a whole different time – not just this morning. The apology he gave me was heart felt and I could tell he was embarrassed by the whole situation. I was accepting it without another thought. Again I felt the need to make this stranger feel better but I was curious as to exactly why it had happened and was asking him the question when I was suddenly aware that we were no longer alone. Jim had come out of his office with a gorgeous looking girl with an open face and ready smile. She was looking at me with curiosity and I smiled back at her shyly before taking stock of what Jim was saying to us._

"_So Bella you have already met one of our special guests, I see. Alice has just told me that you are all off to rehearsals now, Edward. Tonight's the big night for Seattle. I imagine all your concerts are sold out. It must truly be an amazing experience to perform in front of full crowds like that."_

_Edward was nodding and the girl Alice was answering but I was frozen in my own nightmare of recognition. This man was a musician and not just any musician – he was Edward Cullen; member of the outrageously popular band "Cullen Alliance" I had not recognized one of the most famous people around at the moment and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole so that I could get away from my total embarrassment at the ridiculousness of that. It didn't matter to me that I was not the sort of person who followed a particular band or who read gossip magazines to keep up with the doings of the rich and famous. I should have known who he was immediately. He must have thought I was incredibly stupid._

_When I looked at Edward he was smiling at me encouragingly and I saw no censure in his expression. It didn't appear to worry him that I didn't know who he was immediately. I took comfort in that. Jim and Alice walked to another man at the bar. I barely registered._

"_You were asking me about dumpsters?" His voice held a slight inflection of amusement. _

"_Um, yeh but I have worked it out now thanks…. Edward Cullen," I emphasized his name to make it seem real to myself. How on earth was I going to make up for this one? I shut my eyes and tried to relieve the tension in my head by rubbing my forehead – it gave me a small moment to think. "Oh well" I thought to myself " I've made a fool of myself – might as well just accept that and see the funny side."_

"_Well I guess it's my turn to apologise. I hadn't put two and two together. Quite stupid of me really. I should have known who you were. Now I fully understand what happened this morning. No need for explanations." I thought back to this morning with more sympathy now. The poor guy was just trying to get out of the hotel without being bombarded with media and I had got in his way. No wonder he had been so nervous about being found when the voices had come our way. I still couldn't believe that he had dazzled me so much that I hadn't put any of the pieces together. It wasn't as if I was generally stupid. Nope I had definitely been dazzled._

_He seemed to be pleased with me for some reason that I couldn't quite work out and I in return was pleased with his ability to be humble when he said the next words._

"_No need to apologise for not knowing someone. There's no rule to say you should." He held out his hand. "But thanks for accepting my apology anyway. Regardless of the reasons, what I did was not the right reaction. Should we call it a truce?"_

"_Absolutely,"_ _I reached out my hand to be taken in his and immediately felt the electrical current go through my hand into my arm. I didn't have time to register what that meant because he was suddenly tense and his eyes went dark with anger as he looked at the bruising on my wrist. I tried to pull my hand away but it was too late._

"_Do not tell me that I did that," Edward's voice was barely controlled and I realized his anger was not directed at me but himself. He thought he had hurt me when in actual fact I hadn't even registered any hurt at the time he had grabbed me. I was naturally pale and part of that came a tendency to bruise way too easily. He needed to know that._

"_I bruise easily. Don't let it worry you. I am always banging into things and have the marks to show for my efforts. It's no big deal." I tried to make light of it but again his eyes showed me that he would have nothing of it._

"_But we both know that you didn't bang into something this time._ _I am sorry Bella. I had no right."_

_Without another word, and resisting looking me in the eye again, he strode out of the room and I was at a complete loss as what to do. I noted that his friends were both looking at me before the tall man followed Edward out. Alice came to stand by my side._

"_Hi I'm Alice. Are you ok?" she waved towards my wrist with concern and I realized they had been listening to our conversation._

"_Hi. Bella. It's only a little bruise and he didn't mean to do it. It really is no big deal. I am not so sure why he is so upset about it." _

"_You have to know my brother to know that this" she lightly placed her finger on my wrist "is completely unacceptable – accident or not. He'll get over it … eventually. By the way, I am not entirely sure what happened this morning between the two of you but since we haven't been bombarded with questions from the media I can only assume that you kept it to yourself. I want to thank you for that. You have made our lives a lot easier."_

_I realized the full import of what she was saying as it hit me that Edward had expected me to run to the media with my meeting with the superstar. That was what he was suggesting in his last words to me this morning. That was why he had been so cold and distant. I vaguely wondered at the intensity of always having to be worried about those kinds of things and I felt sorry for him once more._

"_I would never dream of saying anything." I stated vehemently._

_Alice looked at me closely and I tensed as I found myself the object of scrutiny for the umpteenth time today. "You know what… I believe you." Alice said with certainty and I was glad that she had seen something in me that showed me to be honest. "I have to go but again I thank you. I do hope that we see you around when I have more time to chat. Something tells me we would be great friends if given the opportunity" She smiled at me and it was like a ray of sunshine beaming into the room. I had a feeling that Alice Cullen would be a very interesting friend to have indeed._

_I stared at her retreating back and then shuddered back into reality. I had work to do and then study. How on earth was I going to manage both of those after I had just met two of the Cullens with their mysterious personalities. Something told me that I should tread carefully – you could lose yourself to their charms way too easily._

"So that's it?" Angela moaned in frustration, falling back into the lounge, and it brought my head back to my current location and time. "He didn't come back? You just continued the day like nothing had ever happened and you had never met the totally gorgeous Edward Cullen in the flesh? You do realize, don't you, that most girls would bite their own arm off in order to even get close to that guy and you did it without even being aware."

"Yes, no, yes and yes but the big question is this. I am not a big fan and I am not star struck as such, but I can not get him out of my head. What on earth am I meant to do with that? Help me Angela – I need to get myself back on track."

"Do you know what Bella? If I was you I would be just enjoying the derailment," Angela's smirk was all knowing. "Something tells me that this morning's meeting will not easily be forgotten."

I had no doubt about that…. And it worried me.


	4. Chapter 4: Chords of Fame

Chapter Four – Chords of Fame

BPOV

Voyeurism was really not my thing but I found myself using the internet to try and find out more information about the Cullens and their band anyway. I told myself that it wasn't spying but rather researching so that I would be better equipped to deal with any future interactions with Edward, if there were to be any. It had been three days and I had not seen him except at a distance when they were leaving for concerts or rehearsals. I suspected that it would remain that way. There really wasn't any reason for our paths to cross again unless they decided to frequent the bar, and that seemed unlikely due to the demands of their work and their fans. The only form of communication we had had was the arrival of twelve yellow roses in my office when I had arrived at work the day after I had initially met him. With them came a card with the simple words "I am sincerely sorry." There was no signature; nothing to indicate who they were even from but I knew, and it made me even more curious about the man behind the superstar. I couldn't ignore the gesture so I had written '_It was not necessary but thank you. They are beautiful' _on a small note in an envelope and asked the front desk to arrange for it to get to Edward, ignoring the curious gazes and explaining that he had asked me to get some information for him. They had shrugged but I knew it would be done in confidence. I had then returned my thoughts to my own curiosities. Why would he feel it necessary to go out of his way to be kind to a girl he just met and why did he feel so much guilt over something that he surely knew was an accident. I wanted to know more.

So, for that reason, I was currently wading through a deluge of information about the object of my curiosity. My exam was finally over and I no longer needed to commit myself solely to studying and working. The opportunity to find something out about the mystery that was Edward Cullen was here but it was frustrating to see that much of the information about him revolved around his interactions with other girls; and even in some instances other men. There were pictures galore of him ; some spectacular and some plain unflattering. I could never imagine having the amount of scrutiny placed on me that Edward Cullen and the rest of his band endured on a day to day basis. There was no way of sorting out the factual from the fantastical; the lies from the truth. It was apparent that if I was to ever know the truth about him, and his life, it would have to come from him and I very much doubted that we would ever be that close. I kneaded the back of my neck and wondered why that would bother me.

I concentrated on learning about the band. I had never paid much attention to particular bands or artists. I loved music but in an eclectic way. I wasn't passionate about any one type of music at all. I listened to a variety of genres and I was aware of some names of bands but as I had shown, with my meeting with Edward, I didn't take too much notice of the details. Embarrassment or attraction – I was not sure which one, had made me feel the necessity to know more. Whatever the reason, I was now able to reel off small snippets of information about people I had never even given a second thought to before.

Edward Cullen and Rosalie Hale were the vocalists in the band and both played either the keyboard or the guitar. The photos of Rosalie showed a self assured, amazingly beautiful woman who obviously knew what she wanted and expected to get it. Even from the photo I could see the ice behind the smile. In the same photo the tall man I had seen with Alice and Edward a few days ago, appeared. He was polar opposites from the girl and that surprised me considering the article suggested that they were twins. He had warm eyes and a shy smile. He too was extremely good looking but he held himself in a different manner to his sister. I thought I would quite like him if we were to ever meet. He played the Bass guitar. Apparently, it was rumoured that he went out with Edward's sister Alice and that they had been doing so for years. I thought about the attractive girl I had met briefly and smiled. They seemed perfect for one another; they both appeared to be friendly and forthright from the very little I knew or saw. Alice was not an actual member of the band as such. She was every bit as famous as the others though. She traveled with them everywhere they went and was in charge of all the fashion details and set designs for their concerts.

The last member of the band was Emmett McCarty and he was the drummer. I looked at his picture and noted the strength of his body and the humour reflected in his smiling face. His face had a childish quality about it that instantly made you want to take him in your arms and give him anything he wanted. When I read that he was paired up with Rosalie I knew that noone else would get the chance to act that way with him. I was pretty sure that Rosalie would not approve and she would be a furious rival to have.

I studied the last member of the band with a sense of fascination. He was truly a beautiful specimen of maleness and it didn't surprise me at all that he was linked with a huge number of women over the years. I thought about the way those emerald eyes had captivated my attention immediately and wondered fancifully what it would be like to have those eyes look at you with tenderness and love. I chided myself; no doubt I was one of thousands who thought the very same thing every day and I was too mature to be having such unattainable musings going through my head. My attention went back to his face; angular with high cheekbones and a strong jawline. The fullness of his lips was incredibly sexy and I had to pull back yet again from wondering what it would be like to have them in any kind of close proximity to mine. I sighed. He was definitely making me visualize things that I knew were an impossibility.

The band had been together for six years and had been successful almost immediately after being found by a talent scout. It seemed that Edward and Jasper were the songwriters of the group. According to the article, I was currently reading, their popularity had reached outrageous proportions over the past year and a half and most of their concerts were sell outs within a short time of dates being released. That kind of fame and fortune must have changed their lives irrevocably. It seemed to me that they were lucky to have one another.

I pushed the screen down on my laptop and decided that I had had enough of snooping into the lives of this group of people. I had an aversion to attention myself and although this band had made their choices about becoming famous I was sure that they would never have conceived just how much their lives would be on show for everyone else to see. I was taking myself out of the equation of intrusion on their privacy. If I was ever going to know about Edward and his band family it would be through them as individuals, not through what the media and gossip columns believed was current news.

That decided, I got myself ready for work. I meant well but it didn't stop me from hoping that something unusual would happen and tonight I would get to see Edward again. Unlikely …. but wouldn't it be nice?

It had been a long night. The private function, that Jim had ensured we were all available for, had finally ended and we were cleaning up in tired comradeship. Bar tending wasn't my favourite part of this job, mostly because I had to concentrate so carefully on not letting my un-coordination get in the way whilst serving drinks. I had managed to get through the night relatively unscathed, only losing balance on a couple of occasions behind the bar rather than near our actual patrons. Everyone around me was good natured about my lack of skill in gracefulness and I was always grateful that Jim had seen my weaknesses as not worthy of sacking me for, but rather changed the nature of my job. I was pretty sure that that was why I did so many office duties, rather than serving but when I was needed….. I did my bit.

The room eventually emptied of the majority of staff, many of whom were heading out for a late start on a Saturday night of partying. I didn't have it in me to follow their suit. Exams and work had taken it out of me and my bed was calling for me with its comfort. Jim was giving me a lift home due to the lateness of the hour, ensuring that I would not be taking public transport home alone. As I have said before Jim is an excellent boss.

"Bella, are you right to wait a little longer. I have a couple of last minute things to do since I am not in tomorrow morning; or should I say this morning. I won't be longer than half an hour."

"No worries Jim. I have a few things I can finish up on in the office anyway. Let me know when you are ready."

The office I shared with Sonya was oddly quiet. I was used to hearing the sounds of people around me as I worked, especially as it was so close to the bar area. There was no clattering of glasses, no laughter or the sounds of muted conversations – just silence. It was kind of eerie to be here in the early hours of the morning listening to the nothingness. I paused my fingers over the top of the keyboard and realized that I was not taking any notice of the things I was typing. I was way too tired to register the blurred images on the screen. I wouldn't be getting too much work done while I waited for Jim after all. I leant back in the chair and tried to relax my body without allowing myself to go to sleep. I had no sooner gotten myself comfortable when I was startled to hear the sounds of quiet music drifting in from the bar area. I listened carefully to ensure that I was not imagining things but the music continued and I found myself caught up in the magic of the sound. It spoke of longing and tenderness; of confusion and questions. I couldn't believe that I could get so much out of the sound of music, rather than the lyrics. I was baffled. I knew that what I was listening to was the grand piano, that had pride of place in the lounge area of the bar, but who would be playing it at this time of night and why did I want to comfort the unknown person who was playing so passionately about emotions that were so real and raw? I moved towards the doorway to answer my own questions. I stood in complete stillness and quietness once I reached the spot where I could take in the piano and its current artist. The music continued to envelope me as I watched in awe the man sitting so naturally, caressing the keys in order to get the sound he wanted. He was not aware of anything but the music he was playing and as he built up to a crescendo of emotion I realized that what I was hearing was perfection – unadorned magic. Perfect - the man and his music both.

"Beautiful," I breathed and his head instantly turned to look my way in both surprise and recognition.

"Bella, What are you still doing here?"


	5. Chapter 5: Longing

Chapter 5 – Longing

EPOV

"Edward, what is wrong with you?" Rosalie's voice was frustrated and I couldn't blame her "That is the fifth time you have mucked up that rift and we are never going to get through the set if you don't start concentrating. This is ridiculous."

She was right of course. Rehearsals had never been like this. We had been doing this for so long now that rehearsals always went by without a hitch. We usually just did it to ensure that the sound and light was right; not to make sure that we were ready, but today had been different. I had been stuffing up all afternoon and it was driving everyone crazy – not least of all Rose, who had no patience for mistakes. I just couldn't get out of my head that I had hurt Bella; that I had left a mark on her pale, translucent skin. I had never felt like such a monster as I had with seeing her bruised from my own hand. It was totally unacceptable and I couldn't let go of it easily.

"How about we have a small break to regroup," Alice suggested, moving away from the variety of outfits she was overlooking for tonight's show. "Edward, can I have a word please."

I thought about denying her but knew it was useless. She would be fully aware what was behind my sudden departure from professionalism and she would want to help. We wandered down to one of the vacant rooms behind the stage and sat facing one another silently.

"Ok. You didn't mean it," Alice started and I waved her words away.

"No, but that doesn't make it right. I didn't know I had grabbed her that hard either but the fact was that I left her bruised. An entirely innocent girl who didn't do anything to deserve it." I shook my head at the thought of it.

"You'd feel guilty even if she wasn't an entirely innocent girl, let's face it. It was an accident Edward and she doesn't blame you either. She told me so herself. Get over it and do what needs to be done. You have thousands of people relying on you to give them a good concert tonight. You can't let this ill conceived notion of guilt keep you from doing what you need to do." Alice was determined, and then her stance changed a little and I drew in my breath waiting for her next observation " or is this more than just guilt Edward? Is something else going on here?"

I hung my head to hide the confusion on my face. How did I explain to someone else the feelings that this girl had immediately instigated in me. How did I explain that I couldn't get her out of my head and that more than anything else I wanted to see her again and maybe get to know her like I knew no-one else.

"Alice, she is inside my head all the time and I don't just mean because I feel guilty about hurting her. I feel protective of her; like she is something to be cherished and looked after. I am enthralled by her and that is only after two very short interactions. Imagine what it would be like if I actually got to know her. I want to spend time with her. I have never, ever felt like this and it is downright scary. What do I do, Alice? What is the right thing to do?"

Alice beamed. "Yay finally, my brother is getting 'it'. You just have to get to know her and find out one way or another"

"You know I can't do that. You know that I can't expose her to our lifestyle on the off chance that something could come of a friendship. There is too much of a chance that she will be hurt. I could never do that to her. Think about Victoria. I can never do that to anyone ever again."

Alice's anger made her petite face fierce. "Don't you dare go there Edward. What happened to Victoria was not your fault and this is a completely different situation. We are talking about feelings here Edward – your feelings. Bella is not Victoria. There is no comparison." I watched with interest as I saw her exhale deeply to calm herself. Her voice softened. "Edward, sometimes risks are worth it and sometimes they're not, but you can't go through life always wondering 'what if'. It seems to me that maybe this Bella girl might be worth it, but it's entirely up to you what you do."

The conversation was obviously over because she got up and left me to my own thoughts but not before using her professional voice on me "You have five minutes and then I expect to see you on stage ready to finish this rehearsal without any more mishaps. Everyone deserves a break before the concert tonight."

I pushed Bella to the back recesses of my mind and chose to concentrate on my job instead. What I should do about her would have to wait until tomorrow. I straightened myself and went to join my family. Rehearsals went on without any further glitches.

When tomorrow came I was no closer to an answer about taking any type of risks with Bella but I did know that I needed to make an apology one last time for bruising her as I had. I wasn't favourable to a meeting with her. I thought I might lose myself in her presence again and I wanted to be clearheaded – I needed to keep her safe and unblemished from the negative aspects of my life, not draw her into them unthinkingly. I chose instead to send her flowers as an apology. Yellow roses signifying friendship; surely that was appropriate for what I wanted to convey. There was no romantic connotations in this gesture I told myself; merely the need to make up for a wrong in a friendly fashion.

When I got back from our second concert in Seattle that night I found a note waiting for me. I hesitated before opening it. The handwriting on the front was exact; as if the person had taken a long time to make the name just right. I found myself at loggerheads. I wanted it to be from her and then I also didn't. It would be better for both of us if we didn't get in too deep.

'_It was not necessary but thank you. They are beautiful' _Just as I had done, there was no signature and I smiled at the simpleness of the message. There was no pretense with this girl. She got to the point and left it at that. I valued that in a person. It seemed to be something missing so often with the interactions I had with others. I went to bed that night somewhat alleviated of the guilt I had had over our initial meeting and the resulting bruise.

In the following days it was all I could do not to allow myself to go down and make excuses to speak to her. As it was, I often found myself searching for her whenever we left, or came in, from outside the hotel. I always saw her from a distance, leaning over her work or chatting to another member of staff or patron of the hotel. Her attractiveness had been imprinted on my mind by now and I knew I was losing it. In my head my whole world had shifted the moment I had run into her in the laneway. I could still feel her body against mine and the feel of her lips against my fingers. I was falling for a girl I hardly knew and there was nothing I could do to halt it.

Three days had passed and rather than dissipate, my needs were growing into a constant yearning. I wanted something that was going to be forever out of reach. I had, somewhat arrogantly, decided that this was best for Bella. She didn't know me and it was best to leave it that way. I had to be honest; I also believed that if she got to know me she would find me lacking and I wasn't sure that I could handle the rejection from someone I was starting to feel so strongly about. I needed some sort of outlet and decided I needed to play. A song of sorts had been playing itself out in my mind and I wanted to hear it in reality. I quietly left the apartment knowing that everyone else was asleep due to the time and the business of our days. I hadn't been sleeping well at all but this was the first time I ventured out of the apartment to try and alleviate it.

The grand piano was beckoning me and when I reached it I lovingly ran my fingers across its keys. The piano was, by far, my favourite instrument but I had also learnt the guitar due to its ability to be moved around more readily. Music was in my soul - I was useless without it and having a guitar allowed me to meet that need whenever I wanted. The piano though; that was an absolute joy – something to be savoured when I got the chance to utilize one. I thought lovingly of my own piano sitting at home waiting for my administrations. Soon I promised. It wouldn't be too far away.

For now I concentrated on the notes that were in my head and lightly pressed my fingers against the keys to test the sound. The instrument was in good working order and I sighed in contentment. The song I had in my head deserved the notes to come out just right. I began to play and felt the usual sense of calmness sweep over me. I was at peace with myself even as I played the notes that reflected my inner turmoil. My song was one of longing and not being able to reach the place where that longing would ever be appeased. I accepted that this was my therapy – this was the place I could accept that I wanted more than I would ever get, and deal with it. Music was my expression; where so often my feelings needed to be quenched or hidden for others not to see. I thanked god that I had this gift and continued to play, losing myself in the emotion of this song. I paused when I got to a stage where I wasn't sure where to go next and it was then that I heard the soft exclamation of "Beautiful". I was startled out of my musical cocoon and turned my head to find Bella looking at me with glazed eyes through her all too perfect, long, dark lashes.

"Bella, What are you still doing here?" I was mortified. She had just been witness to my most private moment. She had heard my attempt to deal with the emotions she had brought up in me. I wanted to die right there and then. I had to convince myself that she would have no idea what the song was trying to convey but she was soon to dispel that belief.

"I am waiting for Jim to take me home. Edward I had no idea….. well I knew that you were a musician of course…but that, that was exquisite. You are so talented," She was walking towards me as she spoke and I was inwardly asking her to stop. I didn't want her too close to me right now when my emotions were so raw from letting them out in my music. I didn't want to know that she would be right next to me and I would not be able to touch her. "The emotions in that song were so real. It was as if I felt it with you."

Oh god, she could not have said that. She could not understand my longing because it was for her; she could not feel the sense of confusion I felt about a person I didn't know; she couldn't understand any of it – I didn't want her too. I didn't want her to be hurting as I was right now.

She was leaning up against the piano now waiting for some sort of response. What was I meant to say to her? _That song is your song Bella. That is the song that has been playing in my head ever since I ran into you and began having inconceivable thoughts about a girl I didn't know. It's how I feel about you – it's the longing I feel to be your friend and anything else I can get from you._ If I said any of that she would be running from me as quickly as I got the words out. Instead I changed the subject.

"I am sorry for disturbing you Bella. I didn't realize anyone was still here and Jim told me I was welcome to use the piano any time I wanted. I couldn't sleep so here I am."

"You didn't disturb me, Edward. Far from it. I loved listening to the music. I can't explain with words just how beautiful I thought it was even though it was sad at the same time. The longing and loneliness in that song were so evident," she looked at me shrewdly. "I hope they aren't reflective of your own emotions Edward."

There we had it. Bella Swan was not only beautiful but she was intuitive as well and that was what frightened me more than anything. She would be able to get at the base of my personality way too easily and I had worked so hard to keep myself hidden from the world emotionally for so long, that it would be hard to relinquish that information to anyone else.

A lie formed behind my lips but when I looked at her face and saw the trust and concern showing in her warm eyes I couldn't bring myself to do it. A part truth would have to do.

"I guess I do feel loneliness sometimes and a sense of longing for what others have, that through my own choices, I no longer have. Friends – real friends are hard to come by when you are famous and everyone wants a little bit of you."

" I can only imagine," she smiled at me with encouragement. Why did her smile have to do crazy things to my stomach. "It must be hard to work out who is your friend because you are famous and who is your friend because they see the person you are. It must be very hard for you. It must be very hard for the others too."

My mouth fell open at her appraisal; it was so exact. Whenever I met someone new I always wondered at their motivation. I wondered if they even saw me at all or just the man that stood at the front of a well known band. We were two completely different people in my mind. "It is hard," I said honestly "for all of us but at least the others have their partners who understand the full impact of this life." I stopped. What was I doing? I was sharing things with her that she didn't need to hear and all she was doing was listening with clear eyes that reflected interest. It became harder for me to hold my hands down and not reach up to caress her cheek in thanks.

"I think it would be very difficult for a person to have a normal friendship with me, given the circumstances. I guess it's just something I need to accept," That was a warning to both of us. She would be too easy to be friends with. She would be too easy to let go with. It couldn't happen. Bella was looking at me with those knowing eyes in an appraising manner as if she had something further to say but the sound of Jim's voice interrupted us for the second time in two meetings, letting her know that he was ready to get her home.

She was reluctant to move away from me; I could see it but she turned with a soft goodbye and headed towards Jim who was on his way out the door as if he hadn't seen me at his piano and Bella standing next to me. She was only a few steps away when she suddenly turned and came back to me.

"You know what Edward. I don't really know you, having only just met , but in that short time I can already see that you are talented, thoughtful, interesting and hard working. I would imagine that anyone who was lucky enough to have you as a friend would see beyond the fame and would more than believe that the difficulties were worth it," her cheeks had taken on a rosy glow – by god she was beautiful. "Goodnight Edward."

My longing advanced after her as she left the room. Was it possible for that girl to get any more perfect?


	6. Chapter 6: Definitely a Somebody

Chapter 6

EPOV – Definitely a Somebody

Sunday came and went and I was disappointed to find that Bella was not working or, if she was, she was well hidden away. I wasn't willing to ask after her in case it made people begin to wonder why I was so interested. I had no idea what I intended to do if she was working but above all else just wanted to know that she was in the same vicinity as myself. I wanted to talk to her, to get to know her better after our late night conversation, but what I wanted and what I actually would do were two completely different things. There was no choice to be made. Sunday brought nothing but emptiness.

Monday was our day off and I hoped more than anything else that it wasn't hers. My agitation had not been missed by the others and they kept giving me side glances to see if I was about to explode or something. Emmett finally lost it. "Edward your mood swings are like a woman with PMT, at the moment. You need a drink. Hell, I need a drink just watching you. Come on, let's all go down to the bar."

It was mid afternoon and the entire group of us made our way down to the bar. At the door I lost my nerve. Bella was most definitely in there and for the first time I had seen, she was actually working at the bar. I froze, not willing to take the next step. As soon as I walked through that door I was going to have to speak to her. She was too perfect for me and I knew it would be too easy to fall under her spell as soon as I got to know her well. Who was I kidding? I was already under her spell.

"Again dude. What are you doing? Are we going in or not?" Emmett was looking around my body to see what had caused me to stop. "Is there some crazy fan in there or something that we need to know about? Come on, we are not going to let some loony ruin our afternoon. We deserve some good drinks and company."

"Um Emmett. I don't think Edward is worried about fans. I think he might be worried how to respond to her," Alice was pointing towards Bella who was pouring a drink as she was unknowingly being spoken about. I threw Alice a dirty look. Now I had no choice but to go in otherwise I would never hear the end of it from Emmett.

"What? Are you telling me that our Edward is interested in a giiiirrrrrlllll," his tone was overtly disbelieving. "Wooaa. She is quite good looking bro. I think I like her already." Emmett was grinning from ear to ear. I felt like a teenager again, being caught out looking at the girl I fancied from afar.

"Which one?" Rosalie was craning her neck to see the object of our attention. "The one with the long, brown hair? I suppose she looks alright but trust Edward to fall for a worker at the hotel. You could have anyone you wanted Edward and you get a crush on some nobody."

"Everybody is a somebody Rose," Jasper chided his twin sister softly " and as far as I can see she looks really nice Edward. She has a warm and honest face. I bet she would make a great friend."

Alice turned towards Jasper and reached up on tippy toe to kiss him in pleasure before casting a disdainful glance at Rosalie.

"Hey what was that for?" Jasper questioned.

"Just for being you, Jazz. That's all." Alice was clearly pleased with Jasper "I think Bella is more than alright Edward. I think she is beautiful."

I couldn't agree more. In fact I thought beautiful was an understatement. I took in her small frame and the narrowness of her waist where an apron was tied around it in emphasis. I watched as she flipped the brown hair that she had tied back in a pony tail over her shoulder to keep it out of her way. I noticed the way she smiled warmly at anyone she came into contact with and knew that if I had been close enough her eyes would be twinkling with interest at whatever they had to say. She was interested and interesting. I couldn't help it; I needed to speak to her and I had taken a step through the door before I realized I had even done it. I guess that was my decision; I was going to do my best to become friends with a girl named Bella and the knowledge made me feel unnaturally lightheaded.

The light headedness was not helped when she looked up from what she was doing and saw the five of us standing across the room. A shy smile crept over her face and she lifted her hand to wave in greeting before motioning to a free lounge to the left of the bar.

"Seems that your interest is returned, my friend" Jasper whispered discretely as we went to sit in the spot she had suggested. I couldn't bring myself to believe that he was right. One step at a time.

Bella served one more person at the bar before she headed over to our table. "Hi Edward. Hi Alice." she inclined her head to include everyone else at the table saying "Hi guys. Do you have a day off today then?"

It was Alice who answered. I was again rendered speechless by her mere presence. "Sure have, so we thought a few drinks were well deserved. Bella, let me introduce you to Emmett," Emmett grinned and waved enthusiastically; "His girlfriend Rosalie," Rosalie merely nodded quaintly at Bella. I would have to have a word with her about that later "and Jasper – my better half." Jasper smiled serenely at Alice before speaking to Bella. "It's a pleasure to meet you Bella."

"It's really nice to meet you all." her tone was friendly and open " I am sorry I can't stay and chat but I have to get back to the bar. So what would you like to drink?"

We rattled off what we wanted and Bella went to leave to get our order. "Bella, maybe you would like to join us when you have finished your shift?" I heard the words come out of my mouth before I could stop them. I seemed to do that a lot around her. I sensed the glee radiating off Alice with my words but concentrated on the response that I hoped Bella would give. She was blushing furiously as she answered.

"Um, sure. I would love to. That is if you are still here of course. I still have about an hour to go."

I would be waiting. There was nothing I was more certain of. "Great. We will speak to you more then."

Bella moved away and Emmett whistled through his lips quietly. "You've got it bad Eddie. That was smooth." I punched him lightly on the arm but felt quite pleased with myself. I wasn't a stranger to girls generally – I had to keep up appearances more often than not with dates to special functions, but asking a girl who I actually felt something for – that was completely different and again it felt good.

When the other bar tender brought us our drinks I was a little confused, not sure why Bella wouldn't bring them herself. Was she distancing herself from me already? My concerns were appeased however when the bartender named Matt spoke.

"Bella said to enjoy your drinks. She thought it safer for all of you to send me to deliver them rather than her." Safer? What did that mean? I looked over at her to find she was looking our way and chuckling.

Matt lowered his voice conspiratorially "Bella is known to sometimes lack the ability to carry a tray of drinks across the room without tripping over her own feet. She didn't want you to be on the receiving end of that. Luckily we love her anyway so we are willing to cover for her." He chuckled to himself as he returned to the bar and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Apparently when we had first met and she told me she was a klutz she wasn't exaggerating. I looked at her again and she smiled back happily. Oh well, klutz or not she was still worth getting to know.

The next hour went by way too slowly for me but the others were enjoying the downtime immensely. No-one came to bother us for autographs and very few people even looked at us as if we were anything special. It was a nice change. Bella came over a couple of times to get orders for our drinks and followed the pattern of having Matt actually bring them to us. I was grateful that she at least came to get the orders and hadn't left the whole serving to Matt. I liked listening to her voice and watching her put to memory what we each wanted.

At the end of her shift she disappeared for a short period and I was worried she had decided against joining us. When I finally saw her heading our way I heard Jasper mutter "You can breath now Edward" and it drew my attention to just how much I wanted her to be next to me.

I moved across so she could fit on the lounge beside me. She perched herself carefully on the seat and began to join in our conversation. The attentiveness she gave to each person as an individual won her hearts, I could tell. Even Rosalie was a little less frosty towards her than initially. We spent the afternoon in relaxed companionship talking about so many things without touching on the subject of our fame at all. It was the way we all liked it. I almost felt normal for the first time in ages. That was until Emmett had to ask " So Bella, have you had a chance to see our concert?"

No Emmett, no. Bella's face went a bright crimson colour and I knew she was embarrassed beyond words. "Actually no I haven't Emmett." She said uncertainly.

I had to save her before Emmett asked more."Bella isn't really a fan of our music Emmett. She probably had better things to do with her money."

Bella's voice was too fast. "No, no that's not it. Oh gosh. That's to say that I do know some of your music and I like those songs that play on the radio but I have never really been into any one particular band. I love music, don't get me wrong. I have just never felt the urge to worship one band. Oh no that sounds worse. I am sure that your music is worth worshiping but… I think I will just lay down and die now." Bella's voice trailed off in confusion.

Emmett roared with laughter. "Well that is just priceless. We have just made a new friend and she doesn't even know the legend that is us. I love it. Does that mean you are sitting here because you actually like us and not our music? Excellent. No wonder we've fallen for you so quickly." I stared at Emmett in horror. He was a raving lunatic and he was spoiling a perfectly good afternoon. He was going to scare her away before I even had a chance to get to know her properly, telling her that we had fallen for her. What was he trying to do? I gave myself a mental note to make his death slow and excruciating when I had him alone.

But Bella was no longer embarrassed and was laughing along with his enthusiasm and teasing just as were the others. She had obviously already worked out what made Emmett tick. " I guess that is exactly what it means Emmett but maybe I should go and listen to some of your music now just to make sure I made the right choice? I would hate to be wrong."

Emmett guffawed appreciatively. "Now don't go and do that. You might find that the music has so much more to offer than the people who play it. When it comes down to it we are just plain normal people making a living."

Rosalie cleared her throat and Emmett looked at her with amusement "All of us except you of course my sweet Rosalie. You outshine everything and everyone. There is no denying it – no one would dare suggest there was anything 'normal' about you." Emmett made a flourish in the air and bowed towards Rosalie, as much as he could considering he was in a sitting position. She giggled at his attempt to appease her and I rolled my eyes. My friends were really putting on a show for Bella. She would have to wonder at our sanity.

"I doubt I'd like the music more than the people themselves but I have been known to fall in love with a song," she looked at me demurely and I found it hard to look away. Was she talking about my song – the one she had heard only days before? I wondered vaguely if I would ever be able to share it with her properly in its final form. "but I guess you just never know."

We all laughed quietly before Alice changed the subject to her favourite – fashion and shopping, asking Bella's advice about where the best places to shop were. The girls got into a three way discussion on this subject and Jasper, Emmett and I accepted that we were no longer needed in the conversation. I took the opportunity to sit back and observe Bella discretely. Her face was alight with animation as she laughed and interacted with Alice and Rose. That face was so lovely it made me think of a piece of art; not because she was made up with a lot of makeup – she actually wore very little, just a touch of lip gloss and a soft colour on her eyelids; but because there was so much to be read in the heart shaped, alabaster perfection. It appeared that Bella was enjoying herself immensely in all of our company and that made me extremely happy. This group here, were the people closest to me in all the world. It was important to me that they liked the girl I was interested in. I pulled myself up short; I was getting ahead of myself here. Interested as in a friend, that was all, but maybe, just maybe……

"Bella, it seems that someone is looking for you over there," Jasper stated with a touch of curiosity in his voice. I swiveled my head to watch in trepidation as a black haired guy noticed Bella's whereabouts thanks to Matt pointing our way. Bella smiled at him in welcome and I felt the jealousy churn in my stomach. This was a scenario I had not even thought about and I kicked myself for not doing so. Of course a woman like Bella would be involved with someone; it was really strange that I hadn't even considered it.

"Oh. Is it that time already? That's Ben. We have an appointment this evening so I rang and asked him if he would mind picking me up a bit later so I could stay for a drink." Bella explained as Ben headed our way. "I wouldn't have made it on time if I had taken the bus."

Ben had reached us now and was looking slightly aghast between Bella and the rest of our little group. Rose broke the silence.

"So Bella, are you going to introduce us to your boyfriend?" Rose looked at me pointedly and anger flamed before I contained myself. Sometimes I wondered why I could love Rose so much at times and then absolutely despise her at others. She was most definitely trying to get my back up.

"Huh," Bella's face only reflected confusion before she realized the assumption Rose had made. "Oh… this is Ben and he is not my boyfriend," She smirked at Ben who was also chuckling wryly. " Although I do think my flatmate has impeccable taste to want to marry him." She was teasing him and I saw that he loved it. They were close but thank goodness not the close that made me want to scream out in frustration and tell her to make a different choice. Bella went on to introduce all of us to Ben who was still looking slightly starstruck at meeting us. Unlike Bella he obviously knew who we were.

"Well everyone. I am going to have to go. Ben and I have to meet his fiancé, Angela for some wedding arrangements downtown. I really enjoyed chatting to you all though. It's been a fun afternoon." Bella's words were directed at everyone but her gaze was on mine. I forced myself to smile back at her and tell her we had enjoyed it too. Everyone said goodbye and then watched Bella depart with Ben. The table all of a sudden seemed empty without her there. Once they were clearly out of the bar area Emmett broke the silence.

"Ok so now I KNOW that I like that girl. There is no guessing about it."

Rose sniffed the air "She was alright I suppose,"

Emmett turned to her. "Rosalie Hale. Just admit that you were wrong about her being a nobody and that you liked her too. All of us could see it. There was something about her that was….."

"Special," Jasper filled in softly.

"Yep. That's it…. special." Emmett replied.

"And she made us feel not so special in a good way, if you know what I mean," Alice added thoughtfully.

I most certainly did know but I was kind of stunned that they were all feeling the same way…. well maybe not exactly the same way. It kind of made me sad that we had lost ourselves so much in the stardom role we had taken on, that when we had a normal afternoon of conversation and good company with a near stranger we were all so elated. Maybe some things needed to change.

"So when do we see her again?" Emmett broke through my musings and I came back to earth with a crash watching with amusement as Jasper rolled his eyes and punched Emmett.

"Should I be jealous Emmett? You seem much to interested in this girl,"

"Of course not, Rose. I am interested purely for Edward's sake," he twitched his eyebrows at me "I can't help it if the girl he likes happens to think we're alright too, so when?"

I shook my head in mock humour and stood quickly to put an end to any more interrogation. I had no idea when we would see Bella again but I was sure of one thing. Next time I wanted it to be just her and me. Now – just to have the guts to do that.


	7. Chapter 7: Perceptions

Chapter 7

BPOV - Perception

Who would have ever thought that plain old Bella Swan would be interesting enough, to spend time with a group of ridiculously well known superstars and be relaxed enough to actually enjoy doing so. This just did not happen to me – it was not what my life was about. I wasn't beautiful – far from it; I wasn't especially interesting either – I went to college to study English literature and writing; not actually the most mind blowing career path that one could involve themselves with; but one that I was passionate about and wanted to achieve in. When Edward had come through those doors this afternoon I felt the stirrings of absolute elation course through me, followed by panic, and I knew I had it bad. I was crushing on some superstar as if I was a teenager who knew no better. I had reminisced about our short meeting two nights earlier and felt a flush of embarrassment. What on earth had possessed me to say those words to him? The question had reverberated around my head the entire weekend. No doubt he was now wishing that he had never opened up to me as he had and would think that I was a fanatical fan that wanted to get closer because of his fame. I should have just kept my mouth closed and listened, but he had struck a chord when he was talking about friendship and I couldn't just leave him there thinking that friendship, for him, was too difficult. My words had been sincere but would he see them that way or see me as another starstruck person ready to get their two minutes with the famous Edward Cullen. I couldn't be sure which way he would fall and I wouldn't know definitely until I saw him again. Monday had been my next rostered day on – I had had to wait to see.

So when today finally got here and I had seen Edward looking my way I squashed the uprising panic as to what I would say or how he was going to react and waved at him. Ha. I, Bella, waved at a group of superstars as if it was the most natural thing in the world and then motioned for them to sit down. I could still sense the tendrils of panic in the pit of my stomach but I chose to ignore them. Within a matter of minutes I was going to find out if he thought I was an annoying intruder into his life who said inappropriate things in the middle of the night, or if he accepted what I had said as sincere. There was no doubt about it; I was nervous.

The elation I felt when he asked me to join them was immense and I realized that I had honestly thought he was going to fall the other way, even as I had hoped he wouldn't. Functioning within my job had been so very difficult for the hour, after that, until my shift had finished. I was way too aware of his presence, such a short distance away from the bar, and I was extremely apprehensive about my ability to maintain any kind of reasonable conversation with five people who were so obviously out of my league. At one stage I had even considered not joining them so that I could be assured of not embarrassing myself, and then I knew I couldn't do it for two reasons. Firstly, I would be reinforcing Edward's negative belief that friendship was not readily available to him and secondly I was entirely too damn happy that he had asked me in the first place, to just walk away. Edward Cullen was reaching out in friendship and I was most definitely going to reach right back.

My concerns were groundless. Spending time with Edward and his friends had not been difficult at all. I had even managed to brush off Rosalie's initial frostiness as not being personal so that I could enjoy sitting in such close proximity to Edward and enjoy the friendly banter of the group as a whole. Emmett teased me as I imagined a big brother would and I naturally returned the favour; Alice displayed her exuberant personality and loving nature and I warmed to her instantly; Jasper was thoughtful and intelligent, exuding a serenity about him that I thought would have to be so entirely different to the way he performed; and Edward…. Edward was everything I knew he would be. He was funny, interesting, charming and above all else, incredibly sexy. I could feel the heat come off him as I sat close by without ever touching him. I knew that if I did I would never want to stop, so I was intent on making sure that we didn't even accidently brush against one another. I wasn't entirely convinced that I was ready for the plethora of emotions this man brought out in me. I wasn't going to ruin a budding friendship over some silly fantasies that could never be fulfilled.

Ben's arrival had heralded my need to say goodbye, reluctantly. When I had rung him earlier to ask for him to pick me up at a later time, so that I could have a few drinks with friends, I had failed to mention exactly who they were. I had realized when I saw his face that that had been a mistake. Ben had loved 'Cullen Alliance' for years, Angela had disclosed to me when she realized I had encountered the famous Edward Cullen, and his face had reflected his awe and fascination. I hoped that he wouldn't make a deal about it. Everyone had seemed to enjoy the lack of attention they had received this afternoon and I didn't want it ruined by an overly exuberant Ben. I needn't have worried as Ben didn't make a fuss at all…… well not at least until we got to the car and we were well away from the object of his hero worship.

"Isabella Swan. You did not think that it would be worth telling me that your 'friends' were the band "Cullen Alliance' who, by the way, I have followed forever and would give anything to be able to meet?"

"I'm sorry Ben. It kind of didn't cross my mind. I was nervous and well… you got to meet them anyway." I added this enthusiastically in the hope that he would let the subject go. It had just occurred to me that Angela had not shared my meeting with Edward at all with her fiancé and that he might be hurt by that. I didn't want to cause an argument between the two of them. I tried to cover my very loyal friend as quickly as possible.

"They're staying at the hotel and I got to talking to Edward and Alice a couple of days ago, and today while I was serving them drinks they asked me if I would like to join them so I thought why not…."

"Wow Belles. You are one lucky girl. And by the way thanks for introducing me to them. I think it was the highlight of my week. Wait until I tell the guys."

"Oh….. Ben I kind of think that maybe they would prefer a bit of anonymity and I definitely don't want it passed around town that I am friendly with them. It would feel wrong, as if I had betrayed them or something."

He looked at me to determine the seriousness of my words and then sighed. "Ok, sure. I will keep it to myself but hey……"

We spent the rest of the car trip in a one way discussion about Cullen Alliance; Ben shared every piece of information he had learnt about them with enthusiasm and I sat back listening contently. It was hard for me to correlate the group that Ben obviously knew to the one I had just spent an afternoon with, but I was willing to listen to his knowledge anyway because it was fascinating. To me Cullen Alliance was a group of people who joked and laughed and squabbled and teased and were plain lovely to be around. To him, they were a group of people who needed to be idolized and adored from afar because they were musical heroes who could do no wrong. Perception – it was all about perception.

The evening passed in a flurry of wedding preparations. I was more than happy to allow my role as Angela's chief bridesmaid to distract me from the images and questions that were swirling around in my head. Invitations, thank you cards and the like became my focus – I wanted this wedding to be perfect for two of my favourite people and would do everything in my power to ensure it would be; even sit through hours of determining exactly which design should be used to best represent their personalities. Edward Cullen was on my mind but he had taken second place to Angela and her needs. I was pretty sure that wouldn't last long.

"There is something incredibly alluring about that woman," Ryan whispered to me and I lifted my head to note that Alice was sweeping towards us with a huge grin on her face. "Just don't tell my wife that I said so." Ryan winked at me and deliberately turned away to busy himself with the till as Alice perched herself delicately on the barstool.

"Hi Bella. How did the wedding activities go last night?" Alice was all enthusiasm and I automatically smiled in response.

"Well, put it this way. We made it through and I am pretty sure that the design chosen is reflective of what this wedding will be like. Angela is excited and that is the main thing." I grinned at the thought of exactly how long it had taken to determine such a small aspect of the wedding and how Ben had tried so hard to remain focused for Angela's benefit. "I never knew that being a bridesmaid was such an intense experience."

"You will make a beautiful bridesmaid Bella. You will have to email me a picture so that I can see," Alice's words made me realize that she wanted to remain friends after they left and I was momentarily floored.

"Listen Bella, Emmett and I were talking last night and we thought that you should really come and see one of our concerts while we are in Seattle." She pushed an envelope towards me. "There are three tickets in there – I assumed you wouldn't want to go alone and I noticed that Ben seemed like he knew of our band even if you didn't,' Her words were teasing but I still felt the slight flush make its way to my cheeks because of my ignorance. "so I got one for him too and your flatmate; Angela wasn't it?"

"Well, yes and it is a really lovely thing to do but I can't take tickets off you. It wouldn't seem right. I spent time with you guys yesterday because I enjoyed your company not because I was trying to get something out of you." I pushed the tickets back towards her and she was momentarily stunned at my rejection and then her grin got even broader, if that was at all possible.

"Bella. I know that you didn't want anything from us and that is exactly why you are getting something. We want you to see what we do for a living. I want you to see my unbelievably amazing sets on stage. Emmett believes that you are missing out on knowing us well if you haven't seen us performing. Please take them. It would mean the world to us. If we can't do something nice for a friend then we aren't really worth much are we?" Alice's eyes bored into me, pleading with me to accept.

I stared at the envelope sitting between us. I wasn't the type of person to take gifts from people. I didn't even like celebrating birthdays because it meant I had to accept presents and the attention made me feel uncomfortable. In saying that, Ben would be ecstatic if I accepted this gift; he had not been able to get tickets to the concerts because they were sold out and if I made Ben happy I also made Angela happy. Good enough reasons to alter from my normal response to receiving.

My hand picked up the envelope and Alice relaxed. "Thanks Alice. We will be there. I appreciate the thought. Ben is going to love me when I turn up tonight with these in my hand."

"More than happy to hand them over. Now, just so you know, we haven't told the others so it will be a surprise for them and besides I don't want them distracted, knowing you're there. As it is, Emmett's going to have a hard enough time not to preen and pump his muscles out while he's drumming , knowing that you are there, trying to impress. He can't help himself." Alice laughed at the thought and I had to follow suit. I could fully imagine him doing his best to impress just for the impact. My laughter covered up the fact that I was a little disappointed that Edward had not suggested giving us the tickets and that in actual fact he didn't even know about it. Maybe if he did, he wouldn't want me there. It made me feel uncertain that I had made the right decision to accept. I pushed the thought aside. I had accepted and I would follow through so that I did not disappoint Alice and Emmett. They were important too.

"I have to go Bella but I will see you tomorrow night at the concert. You guys can come backstage at the end if you would like. I will arrange it," Alice was readying herself to leave "Oh, let me know if tomorrow night doesn't suit and I will change it."

"Pretty sure tomorrow night will be perfect Alice and thanks again."

Alice's retreating form had my attention as I thought to myself about what was happening to my life. A week ago I had been completely ignorant of the band Cullen Alliance except as a vague blip on my radar of knowledge thanks to the radio, and now I was organising seeing them in concert as a special guest, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do.

Life had just got so much more interesting!

I hoped it wasn't too much, too soon.


	8. Chapter 8: Joy and Sorrow

Chapter 8

EPOV – Joy and Sorrow

For me, performing was the highpoint of our chosen life. Once on stage there was a sense of effortlessness and lack of self consciousness that I relished. I didn't think about what I was doing; I just felt the music, interacted with our band and responded to the audience. I enjoyed their enthusiasm in a way I just couldn't do within the confines of my normal life. I didn't mind, whilst on stage, having them scream my name and know that they were willing me to be something for them, that I could never be when I wasn't performing. I was acting for them; giving them some joy due to my ability to sing and play. It didn't worry me that they wanted every little bit of me; I saved that concern for when I was not performing and just wanted to get on with my everyday life without the scrutiny. Yes, for the couple of hours that we were on stage I experienced a sense of achievement and enjoyment that I hadn't been able to attain anywhere else in my life. For that brief time nothing else mattered. I loved it. I needed it. It was what made all of this worthwhile.

But lately something else had overtaken the normal flow of my performances. I wasn't entirely in the zone. I knew that no-one else would have noticed – it was just a knowledge that I was willing to finally admit to myself. Somehow, suddenly, something else did matter besides the churning of bodies on the dance floor below me or the screaming voices of fans who were seated further away from the stage. I found myself wanting to be more than just a vessel for their adoration. I wanted to be adored by one person only and the thought was distracting. I found that when I sang I was imagining how the lyrics could be linked to her; I wondered how it would feel to know that she was in the audience supporting me and I was perplexed to realize that a small part of me was thinking about what it would be like if this world was no longer mine; if I could just follow my heart without worrying about the negative impact it could have on Bella. I didn't have the freedom to delve too deeply into these things so I did what I did best. I performed and gave everyone else around me what they wanted.

Our concert tonight was a resounding success. The audiences reaction and the echo of encore, encore made it apparent. I dried the sweat off my face before Rose and I grinned at one another and headed back out to the stage. We sat on stools beside one another and the screaming settled down to a dull roar. We had been rocking all night and now it was time to slow the pace down a bit. I fiddled with the strings on my guitar and readied myself to sing a love song to Rose and I knew she was doing the same. It was strange that we had the ability to put so much emotion into singing about love to one another, so that it was credible to our audience, whilst keeping a barrier up between ourselves that no one else could see. No doubt in my mind that Rose was thinking about Emmett when she sang lovingly to me and I had always sung to my dream girl, not knowing who she was or if I would ever lay eyes on her…. that was until now. This time, when I sang, I was singing to my own brown eyed beauty.

The crowd was now swaying as one and I took a moment to look out towards the swirling unknown faces to gauge their enjoyment. My breath caught in my throat and I almost missed finishing the lyrics I was singing. I covered myself quickly and tried hard to concentrate on what I was doing instead of the mesmerized face I had just seen in the audience. Bella was here and must have been for the entirety of our concert. I couldn't believe that I had missed her all night. My eyes were continuously drawn to hers and for a sweet moment I allowed myself to actually sing in her direction. As far as I could see in the shadows, that came from our bright lighting, she was radiant and appeared to be enjoying herself. Bella had made the effort to come and see us, even though she wasn't a fan. My heart soared. Maybe she was feeling a little bit of what I was feeling. Maybe she was willing to explore this connection that I felt we had. She had come and I had no idea what her reasoning was, but I was elated. All I wanted to do was finish the concert and get out there to see her; find out what she had thought of our performance. I hoped it had been worth her while.

When the curtains finally closed indicating the end of our concert I flew towards my pixie sister and grabbed her arms.

"Bella was out there, Alice. She actually came to see us."

"Of course she is silly. I invited her. Well actually Emmett and I invited her. We thought….."

I picked her up easily in my arms and laid a kiss on her forehead "Thank you Alice. I can't believe she came. That the two of you did this."

Alice playfully squatted me away and looked at me with laughter in her eyes. "Well I have to say you have surprised me Edward Cullen. I was fully expecting a hissy fit from you over me being so controlling and interfering in your life. I know that you are worried about getting close to her but you will never know until you give it a try. We wanted to push you in the right direction. Edward, you should know that she wasn't going to take the tickets; that she felt she was using us by accepting them or some sort of rubbish. I talked her into it. She really is interested in you; not your fame. We like her Edward. We want her to be the one who makes you happy."

"Well do you know what Alice? I don't think staying away from her is an option anymore. I am going to go and shower and get changed. You are bringing her back stage aren't you? Can you give me a bit of time before we all get together please?"

"Certainly Edward." Alice agreed before saying softly. "Edward, it is good to see the light back in your eyes. I wondered if it would ever happen."

"It feels good Alice. It really does. I will see you soon," I marveled at my own elation. The mixture of the nightly performance high that I got and the knowledge that Bella had agreed to come and see us was doing great things for my mood.

My enhanced mood lasted for the duration of the time it took me to get to my allocated dressing room and then it came down with a thud. I hadn't even got through the door yet when one of the stagehands came to offer me a box.

"This just came by courier for you. It's been marked urgent." He left to return to his work and I looked at the package carefully. It was probably from a fan. We got so much fan mail and presents it was hard to keep up with. I almost didn't open it in my need to get changed and get out to Bella quickly but something was calling out to me and I chose to pull the package apart then and there. I instantly wished I hadn't.

"Oh God no. Not now. Not when I was about to let my guard down and give someone a chance. Not now when I had finally found something that was worth breaking through the barriers for. Damn it, not now."

I dropped to a seat heavily and looked at the contents of the box. I was certain who it was from and I had no doubt about the threat. We were going to have to up the security and I flinched at just how much that was going to hurt all of us. Security was a necessary evil but in this case it would be so much more than that. I jumped involuntarily when the knock sounded on my door and was relieved to find it was Jasper who entered with a smile plastered on his face.

"Alice just told me about Bella being here. That is great news….. Edward what is it?" The look on my face must have spoken volumes. I silently handed him the box and he peered in before taking out the single dead, black rose and the photo. "Shit, shit, shit."

We both peered at the photo in horrified understanding. It was a photo of all of us and there were huge questions marks covering the faces of Alice and Rosalie. Next to them were the words "Which one?" That, along with the black rose representing death, told us everything we needed to know.

"It's from him, isn't it?"

"I think so. He told me he would get back at me but it's been so long I had almost hoped he would have let it go. This kind of refutes that." The guilt overcame me. Now he was targeting my family to get at me.

"He is going to go after Alice and Rose now. Oh god Alice. I will not lose her, Edward. Not for anything. And Rose. She is my sister. We need to do something to stop him. We need to keep them safe."

"I have no intention of letting him hurt either of them. We will let security know that a threat has been made and we will make sure that there is someone with them at all times. They are not going to like it but they will have to accept it. I will go back to the police again but you know what they said last time. They can't do anything unless we have proof that it is him and he is way too clever to leave any clues. I am so sorry Jasper. I have brought this on us. I will never forgive myself if anything happens to the girls because of me."

Jasper grabbed my arms in protest and forced me to look into his face.

"Edward. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. The fact that he has a screw loose in that head of his does not make it your responsibility. Nothing is going to happen to our girls. Emmett, yourself and I will not let it." Jasper had gone into fighting mode. No-one threatened his loved ones without seeing the ferocity he could display if it was needed. Jasper would fight tooth and nail to ensure any one of our safety. I would too if it came down to it and as for Emmett; god help him if Emmett ever laid hands on him. The law would not even be a consideration if Emmett had the chance to mete out his own form of punishment for having the gall to threaten the girls, especially Rosalie.

"We're going to have to tell them. Maybe we should get them in here now. As much as I don't want to frighten the girls, they have the right to know. Emmett's going to lose it – we're going to have to find a way to calm him down." Jasper was trying to set things right in his head and talking out loud while doing so. The guilt was becoming an overpowering force now. The girls would be frightened but they would make out that they weren't. Because of me they were going to have to look over their shoulder all the time and make sure that they were always with someone. Because of me they were no longer safe in their own lives……..if only…….

_It was dark and it was cold and I had no idea what had possessed me to come. Guilt I supposed. Not being able to help; not being able to stop it; not being able to give her that final bit of respect at the end by attending her funeral. The guilt was enclosing me as I reached out to touch the cold hard stone. I shouldn't be here. I had no right to be encroaching on someone else's territory but I couldn't help it. I needed to apologise. I was hoping that wherever she was, she would hear and know that I was sincere; if that was in any way possible. The wind was picking up and I pulled my jacket closer around me and shivered with more than the cold._

"_I am sorry Victoria. I am sorry I didn't know; that I didn't realise. I truly am."_

_I hadn't realized that I wasn't alone until I heard his furious voice "and you think that makes it ok do you? You think you can just walk away from here after apologizing and that it is fine for you to go on living while she's dead. You deserve no forgiveness Edward Cullen. You will pay for this. It will be eye for an eye. I will make you hurt like you have made me hurt; the way you made her hurt. Mark my words – I will get back at you if it is the last thing I do." _

_He walked away from me then as if he needed to ensure he didn't make my life too easy by just finishing me off there and then. He wanted to kill me; I had seen it in his eyes but he had refrained and he would make me wait for my punishment. For a while the threats against me had come and I accepted them but then they had stopped. I had been waiting for two years. I had been waiting until now……._

Jasper brought me back to myself. "Edward. Quit thinking about how this is your fault. It's not and we have better things to do with our time. We need to get the others in here and Edward,' he paused here and I saw the pain flit across his face "What are you going to do about Bella?"

Oh god. Bella. I was about to open up to her. I was about to allow myself to have a new friend in the hopes it could lead to more. There was no way now. I could never do that to her. It was bad enough that Alice and Rosalie were involved and they had some experience in dealing with psychopaths who wouldn't leave them alone. Bella was a different story. If he found out about her he would definitely threaten her. The pain ripped into me, mirroring what I had just seen in Jasper's eyes, but so much more intense. There was no option but to let my dreams of finding happiness with Bella go. She was innocent and I wasn't. She deserved a normal life and mine was far from it. She had a right to safety and she wouldn't get that with me.

"I will go and explain. I'll make something up for Bella, Ben and Angela. Just wait here."

Was it only minutes later that Emmett burst through my dressing room door and demanded to see the box? I had been lost in my own world of loss, guilt and reprimands.

"If that bastard thinks he is going to get away with this, then he has another thing coming. I will find him myself and wring his scrawny little neck. How dare he threaten Rose and Alice. Such a big man to think of that one. He needs to be castrated and thrown to the wolves." Emmett was ranting and we all stood aside and let him get it out of his system. Finally Rose put her hand gently on his forearm, after we had heard enough of his variety of ways to drag James into the pits of hell, and he roughly gathered her into his embrace and buried his face into her hair. If he had any kind of choice he would keep her exactly that way and never let her go. I could see it in his stance. He wanted to protect her. We all did.

"Emmett. There is no way he can get to any of us. He is just making empty threats. He did the same with Edward two years ago and then it stopped without us even seeing him. It will probably be the same this time too." Rosalie's voice reflected no fear.

"We can't chance that Rosalie. He was probably just toying with me back then but this time I think he is serious. He knows that I don't care so much for myself as I do for you two. He knows that this is the best way to hurt me. An eye for an eye, remember. His love for one of my own." I tried to remain calm and focused but it was becoming more difficult. What if James had been watching me and had noticed my very few interactions with Bella? What if he could tell she too was important to me? "Jasper, did you make sure that Bella and her friends would get home safely?" He understood what I was asking and was fully aware of my concerns so nodded briefly.

"I organised Steve to drop them home and then he will come back for us. You girls stay here and I am going to go and speak to security about what's going on," Jasper leant down and whispered something to Alice and she nodded seriously at him before he walked out the door.

"I know that this is serious guys and I am willing to put up with the whole ' we need extra security and we should never be alone routine' but I am not going to change my life anymore than I need to because of this creep," Alice was livid and there was no trace of fear in her voice. I should have known she would react this way "We are already tied down enough by other people's whims, causing us not to do everything we want just because they are there. This jerk is not going to add to the level of lockdown we already endure. No way."

"Way to go sister, I fully agree with you. James is a coward," Rosalie scoffed. "We will do the right thing by you guys and keep ourselves safe but we aint going to let him ruin our lives permanently."

"No way and you know what else Edward, I will be buggered if I am going to let him take your happiness away either. You'd finally found the one you should be with. I just know it. You can't just ignore that now because of something that happened two years ago, that wasn't even your fault. He can't win like that. I will not let him. Don't you give him that satisfaction."

I heard her fighting words and I was proud of my little sister but……. she was wrong.

This was my fault and he had already won. There was no way I was bringing Bella into this mess – no way.


	9. Chapter 9 : Evasion

Chapter 9

BPOV – Evasion

The concert was nothing short of amazing. The atmosphere had been electric and it hadn't been difficult to let myself become one with the crowd of enthusiasts around me who were heaving with movement and idolizing this group of very talented entertainers. The songs made you want to dance, move, cry, sing along and just plain adore. Edward was incredibly dynamic and I laughed at the over the top hysteria he was bringing out in some of his fans. Rosalie was also incredible as one of the lead singers. Gosh, those two were most definitely born to perform. I had been completely right about Jaspers personality being different on stage; he was more of an extrovert as opposed to the serene, thoughtful man he had displayed to me during our drinks. He had the ladies swooning almost as much as they were for Edward and he was taking it all in his stride. Emmett was, of course, an animal at the drums. I wondered briefly how he could keep his drum kit in one piece with the way he enthusiastically approached each and every song. At one stage while I was watching him I swore he winked at me and flexed his muscles. Oh Emmett; how could anyone not love you and your antics?

Ben, Angela and I were having such a great time that when the concert seemed to be ending I was more than a little shocked that the time had flown by so quickly. As soon as the whole band had left the stage the chanting voices of thousands of people began to reverberate through the centre. "Encore, encore" People were stamping their feet and clapping their hands over the constant buzz of these words. I stood transfixed. How could Edward not be effected by such devotion; such need to have them play just that one more song. How could he manage to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground when he knew he was worshipped in every way possible by this mass of people. I held a new respect for him and the rest of the band. They might be normal people, as Emmett had suggested, but when it came to the stage and their music, they were so much more than that – they were like gods and goddesses. How on earth had they not lost themselves completely in the enormity of that?

Rosalie and Edward came back on stage together and sat comfortably on stools not so far apart. Emmett and Jasper took their places in the background. The cheers were loud but then all of a sudden they hushed as if everyone was aware of the magic that was about to unfold. Edward's beautifully long fingers were softly strumming his guitar as if he was trying to ready himself for the song.

Rosalie's voice was poignant as she started the song about love and loss. Edward responded with his own lyrics and I was mesmerized. If I had not known the situation before, I would have been certain that these two people were in love with one another – a passionate, unavailable love that they were both in a huge amount of pain from. The intensity was almost too much and I had to concentrate on Edward's face to ensure that it was him that was singing and not some complete stranger. I speculated that maybe there had been a Rose and Edward before there had been a Rose and Emmett and that was how they managed to convey such deep and strong emotions. The thought made a dull ache sit in the pit of my stomach. I considered my reaction even as I fixed my attention on the man. I could not, would not allow myself to feel like that about a near stranger. It could only bring pain.

Almost as if he had heard my silent thoughts Edward turned towards the audience and the lyrics engulfed my senses.

_I knew I loved you before we even met_

_So it's hard to explain that, without knowing you at all_

_except in my dreams _

_where the chains were no more_

_I'd already had to accept_

_That love for me was a burden_

_The one thing without, I'd regret_

He stumbled slightly at that point and I suddenly realized he was looking right at me – those green eyes were boring into my soul and something snapped inside me in response. I might not have intended it to happen and I might not have wanted it to happen but I was falling for Edward Cullen hard. I was stunned into disbelief. I vaguely saw him turn back to Rosalie and continue the song but noticed that he kept returning to my gaze. Something changed in the way he sang and fleetingly I had the impression he was singing to me. Could not be right. He couldn't possibly feel that way about me. He was a superstar and I was a nothing. Maybe he was just surprised to see me. That had to be it. I smiled at him and he closed his eyes briefly in concentration but I noticed his lips were twitching with the need to smile back. At least he wasn't angry that we were here.

When the band left the stage amongst resounding applause and the lights came on, to demonstrate that they would not return, I was still reeling from the acknowledgement I had just allowed myself to have. I did not know what to do with this knowledge and I didn't know how I could possibly face Edward now that I knew my true feelings for him. He would think I was a fool for letting myself have feelings for a man I hardly knew and I couldn't see how everyone around me wouldn't notice it. I was sure it would be in my eyes.

"Bella. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That was the best night of my life," Ben was enthusiastically talking to me and Angela was agreeing with him. "Aren't they the most amazing band? Didn't I tell you that you should get into them Bella? Every song is a hit, even the slow ones."

"Ah yep. They were definitely great Ben. I should have listened to you ages ago. I have definitely been missing out." I tried to not let the panic show in my voice. We needed to get out of here before Alice got us to come backstage. I wasn't ready to see Edward. I wanted some time to control these feelings I was having so that no-one but me would ever be aware of them.

Too late. "Hi Are you Bella Swan?" a burly bloke came to stand in front of us and my tension rose a notch. I nodded weakly. "Alice has asked me to bring you and your friends backstage to meet with her. Can you follow me please?" Ben's excitement was tangible and Angela was beside herself too. She wasn't an obsessed fan like Ben but she definitely wanted to meet the man that she had heard so much about from me. We followed the security guard through a roped off section and towards the wings of the stage.

"Hey Bella and Ben. " Alice reached out to take hold of Angela's hand " and you must be Angela. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. You must be so excited." Angela smiled widely at Alice's knowledge of what she was up to and raised an eyebrow at me. Details. Alice would always remember the little things. I was sure.

"So how did you enjoy the concert? Did it live up to your expectations?"

We all gave her our assessment of how it had gone. Ben was on his best behavior and was explaining his enjoyment without sounding like some obsessive crazy. I was glad he did so. There was so much more to Ben than his enthusiasm for this band. I didn't want Alice to think otherwise.

At that point Emmett came barreling in, Rose trailing him more sedately. "So what did you think guys? Did we rock or did we rock?"

I laughed. "You most definitely rocked Emmett. I turned to Rosalie. "You have an amazing voice Rosalie. The concert was great."

"Thanks. We've had years to perfect it I suppose."

"Ok, now I want to know if your preference is for the music or for the band behind the music Bella. I know it is a hard choice after tonight's rip roaring success of a concert but what's it going to be?" Emmett just couldn't help with the teasing.

I pretended to consider. "I think it is going to have to be the music," I stated regretfully "which means that from now on I am only going to spend time with you guys if you actually sing and play for me with every interaction we have. Deal?"

We laughed and continued to discuss how everything had gone and what we had been up to. Emmett and Alice were able to put Ben and Angela at complete ease and they were joining in the conversation as if we were all old friends. Alice explained that Edward was going to join us when he had showered and suggested we take a closer look at the outfits and sets she had designed. I didn't have to feign my interest. She was definitely clever at what she did and I made sure she knew it. Ben and Angela cooed over it all as well and Alice was pleased with the recognition of her part in the band's success.

When Jasper came in and spoke to Emmett quietly I knew something was wrong, very wrong. All of a sudden the atmosphere was fraught with tension and Emmett had gone from easy going playful guy to controlled fury. Alice and Rosalie looked at them in confusion to see what had made him react that way. Jasper was trying to hide the problem and came over to speak to us.

"I know this is really rude and I apologise profusely but something has come up that needs our urgent attention and we won't be able to spend any time with you guys this evening as we thought we would."

I was nodding dumbly as Rose questioned Jasper "What's going on?" I wasn't looking at Rosalie though, I was looking at Alice and I noted that she all of a sudden put her hand up to her mouth and said "oh" before reaching across to place a restraining hand on Rosalie's shoulder, slightly shaking her head. Rosalie instantly stopped any further questioning. How strange.

"Please know Bella, Ben and Angela that this has nothing to do with you and we would have loved to have shown you around some more." Jasper was pleading with his eyes to believe him and I knew that I did; but what was wrong. Was it Edward? Was he alright? Did I even have the right to ask? I tuned back into Jaspers words. "I have organised our driver to take you home. He is out the back waiting."

I found my voice "That's ok Jasper. We can get a taxi home. It's not a problem. We really appreciate the tickets," I tried not to look at Ben's disappointed face as I said the words. He had been so looking forward to spending time with the people behind the band. " I hope you get sorted out whatever needs to be done. I hope we haven't caused any inconvenience by being here."

"Bella please let us do this for you. It will too hard to get a taxi now with all those people out there and the car is available. You are not an inconvenience at all. We wanted you here – all of you." Alice was sincere and I also realized just a little bit too worried about something. I decided to agree so that we didn't add any more stress to an already awkward situation. I scanned the group as I said our goodbyes.

Rosalie was trying to look nonchalant but I knew she was ready to burst with not knowing what was going on. Alice was fidgeting with her hands and glancing at Jasper and Emmett constantly while Emmett was a huge, hulking mass of anger. His face looked murderous. I would hate to know what had made him so angry.

Ben and Angela headed towards the exit that Jasper was pointing out to us and I was about to go quietly behind them when I realized I couldn't just leave without knowing.

"Jasper, is Edward ok? He hasn't been hurt or anything, has he?"

A trace of sadness crossed Jasper's face before being replaced by a slight smile. "Edward's fine, Bella."

I didn't believe him but what could I do? I wasn't close enough to any of them to demand more, so I turned to leave again.

"But thanks for asking Bella. It is good to know that you care." Jasper's voice was so soft that I almost didn't hear him.

* * *

The next few days had been weird. I had to work every day and every day I expected to see at least one of the group come down to explain that everything was ok. It never happened. I saw them from a distance as usual when they were coming and going. None of them looked at me or even acknowledged that I existed. Once I nearly collided with Edward as he left Jim's office and he almost looked through me as he greeted me with no warmth at all. He was polite, but only just, and it was apparent he wanted nothing to do with me. The observation made me cringe with embarrassment. Thank goodness I hadn't seen him the other night after my realization. He would have been even more frosty towards me if he had known I was interested him in a non friend way. I began to think of all the scenarios that had led to him going from friendly to apathetic and all of them involved me offending him in some way. Maybe he thought I had used him for front row seats, maybe he saw my attraction and thought I was going to lay the hard word on him, maybe he realized I was boring and didn't want to lead me on. The list was endless and when it came down to it, it really didn't matter. The fact was that Edward no longer wanted to be anywhere near me and it seemed that that was the same with the entire group. I wished I could say that it didn't worry me or hurt me – it did and I was furious with myself for allowing myself to feel something way too quickly for each one of them. I thought we could be friends and I had been wrong.

Today I had almost called in sick just so I didn't have to face the ever encompassing negativity that I was feeling about going to work. I couldn't bring myself to do it though. Conscientious Bella never missed a beat, did she? I strode into work, only to find that I was doing my least favourite job – bar tending and I exhaled in frustration. Perfect; just perfect. Now I would have to pretend that I actually liked my life and make small talk with patrons. I tied the apron around my waist and headed towards the bar, practicing the smile that I knew would not come naturally today. When I scanned the room to see how busy we were I almost tripped as I realized that Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were sitting towards the back in deep conversation. I had to remind myself to move but before I had taken any more steps Edward looked up and noticed my scrutiny. My face would most definitely be a lovely shade of red. Edward's mouth lifted slightly as if he was about to smile and then he thought better of it and ran his hand through his head instead. Before I knew what had happened he had stood abruptly and darted out of the room. Everyone around the table reacted by looking up in surprise and then noting my presence. They were looking at me with varying degrees of sympathy and I had to move out of their eyesight to behind the bar so that I could calm myself down. The combination of anger and distress had made me want to lash out at someone. I needed to contain myself.

I looked back at the table to find that Alice had her arms crossed; a look of displeasure on her face. Jasper was whispering urgently into her ear and she was shaking her head at him stubbornly. She went to get up and he restrained her with a pleading look. Emmett in turn reached out and took Jaspers hand gently off Alice and gave him a significant look. Jasper deflated and Alice was instantly up and heading my way. What on earth was going on?

"Hi Bella," Alice was trying to put the chirpiness in her voice but she was falling flat. "How are you?"

I stared at her uncomprehendingly. How did she want me to answer that?

_I'm great except for the small fact that I have just realized I am in love with your brother , who by the way wants nothing to do with me and can't even stand being in the same room as me. I'm excellent except for the knowledge that some friends I thought I had made over the past couple of weeks are no longer displaying any kind of friendship towards me at all._

"Are you seriously asking me how I am when it is quite evident I have offended you guys in some way that I am not even aware of? Did you not just notice that your brother actually stood up and left the room as soon as I entered it?" I paused to allow myself the chance not to get over wrought. "How am I? Well to be honest Alice I am confused and more than a little bit peed off. If you guys didn't want to be friends you could have just said so and at least been civil, rather than giving me the cold shoulder. At no point did I push myself onto you. You're only here for a little while longer and then you could have left and never seen me again. No problems. But what annoys me the most is I have no idea what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Emmett had come over half way through my rant and had placed his arm comfortingly around Alice's shoulder. He was now addressing me. "We've been dealing with some ….safety issues so we have been a bit preoccupied,"

Alice cast Emmett a quick glance and then continued. "Bella, I realize we have been rude and again I can only say sorry for that. I wanted to come over to explain that this is about our lives and not about anything that you did. We have enjoyed getting to know you."

"So if this is not about me then why did Edward get up as I came in? Why did Jasper try to stop you from coming over here to speak to me?" I wanted to believe Alice but their behaviour did not add up. They weren't being entirely honest with me.

"You noticed that huh?" Alice looked back towards Jasper as if weighing up how honest she should be. "Completely" I was screaming at her in my head "Be completely honest so I know where I stand" but instead I waited for her to make her own decision.

"Jasper is concerned for my safety and also yours. He is frightened if I bring you into our lives I will cause further problems and he won't be able to protect any of us." Alice sighed heavily and looked at me for understanding. "Bella, I couldn't sit by and watch you think that we didn't care about you. It's not that at all but the problem is this. It is not a good time for becoming friends with us. I am truly sorry."

"and Edward's excuse?"

"We can't speak for Edward, Bella but I do agree what he did just now was a little over the top." Emmett grimaced in sympathy "When it comes down to it though, Edward wants to make sure everyone around him is safe. He doesn't want to involve you in our problems."

"Ok I can see Jasper's problem and I appreciate you being honest. I am not interested in any kind of cloak and dagger stuff so luckily for you I am more than willing just to forget we became friends. From now on I will serve you your drinks and say hello as we pass in the hotel. I don't want to cause you guys any more problems than you obviously already have. Let's leave it at that shall we?"

"But Bella, that's not what…"

"Alice. You are a really nice person and I really hope that you stay safe from whatever it is that is being thrown your way. I wouldn't wish any ill towards any of you at all but let's just agree that my life should not be tangled up with yours. There's no reason for it. I should be working now so if I can get you something let me know otherwise…."

The need to argue was written all over Alice's face but the combination of Emmett squeezing her shoulder and me turning away from them to concentrate on my job meant she thought better of it and left quietly with Emmett. It occurred to me as they walked away that, in the short time I had known them, I had never seen the two of them give in so easily to something. They would both be used to getting what they wanted but in this case they just let it go. It went to prove that I had said the right things. Our lives were not meant to be intertwined. Even thinking that there had been a possibility was ridiculous.

So why was it that the thought of never being friends with this particular group pf people was so painful? Why couldn't I imagine them all walking out of this hotel in less than a week and not having any further contact with them? And above all else why was it that I believed that I would never be able to get the image of Edward Cullen out of my head; he had already ingrained himself into all of my senses so completely that I felt I knew him way better than I actually did.

I had a strong suspicion that my earlier fighting words were useless. I would do as I said and leave them all alone but my heart would not be in it. I had lost before I had even gained.


	10. Chapter 10: Staying Away

Chapter Ten

EPOV – Staying away

Alice always had a plan. She had a way of getting exactly what she wanted at all times and in this case it was Bella; or more specifically an interaction between myself and Bella. I had made it quite clear that I would not involve Bella in the complexities of our lives. I had demanded that they give me the opportunity to distance myself from her so that she would never have to deal with the attention that our popularity would thrust on her. I had pleaded for them to accept that I needed to keep her safe and that this was the only way to do it. They heard me and even, in part, agreed with me but it was not going to stop Alice from trying to prove me wrong. She wanted me to be happy and she had clung onto the idea that Bella was the one to help me reach that point. She was probably right…… but that made no difference. Bella and I would not get to explore the possibilities. My decision was final.

So it was aggravating to find that Alice slyly found ways of making sure that Bella and I crossed paths on more than one occasion.

A meeting with Jim: Bella's near collision and confused look as she wilted under my rudeness.

The need for time out of the hotel room so a drink in the bar: Bella entering and my own conflicted need to go to her and explain or escape. I had chosen the later.

But this excuse had to top them all. This contrived idea of Alice's to organize a thank you party for the staff, and for us to play there, was way beyond reasonable. She had gone behind my back so that I couldn't get out of it. She had placed me in a situation where I wouldn't be able to get up and leave if I found my feelings for Bella no longer controllable. She was deliberate and she was clever and right now I could think of a string of obscenities that I could fling her way.

"Alice, since when do we throw thank you parties for the staff of a hotel? Since when do we perform for a private little gathering of select people in a bar?" My exasperation was clearly resonating in my voice.

"Since the staff have made our stay exceptionally free and easy. You have to admit Edward that this has been the best hotel we've stayed at in terms of confidentiality and giving us freedom to move around without the dogma of stardom following every step. Why can't we say thank you in a way that we are best able?"

"Sure I agree with you on the great staff and Jim has been wonderful but this party…… really Alice; we both know what this is really about. You are trying to get Bella and I into the same room in the hope I will relent. I can't do that sis. It's not going to happen."

"But Edward, you should have seen her face when we talked to her. She was so hurt and angry. I really think you should at least tell her why you are being so rude," I growled threateningly at her. Didn't she realize how much this was hurting me too; how much I wanted to get to know Bella better and just couldn't? The growl made her change tact artfully.

"Fine but we are still doing the party. I promised Jim we would and he was so excited by the prospect. It's all organized anyway. I've been working on it the past two days. All you have to do is go get yourself dressed and turn up. Easy. So off you go," Alice was actually shooing me towards my room.

"What? You mean now. We are having this party tonight?"

"Sure, when did you think we would have it?" Alice smiled angelically at me and I had to restrain myself from letting out a howl of frustration.

"Oh I don't know Alice. Maybe on our last night here. Maybe a couple of days after I had actually been told we were doing it. Some warning would have been good. Shit Alice. You are unbelievable."

"Oh come on Edward, it will be fun. It's not like we were going to be doing anything else tonight. We are kind of stuck inside this place due to the uplift in security and the rest of it."

"You are incorrigible Alice Cullen, you know that don't you? How mum and dad ever managed to have such a pushy little pixie for a child is way beyond me."

"Take your insults elsewhere brother dear." Alice's voice held no malice. "You know we wouldn't have got where we are now if it wasn't for my pushiness. A night of fun isn't so much to ask is it? The others agree. We need to do something to lift this oppression we are living under at the moment"

I threw her an aggrieved sideway glance as I headed towards my room to change. "Fun wouldn't describe what it is going to be like, being that close to her Alice, when I can't be next to her. Tonight will be no fun for me; none at all."

It was agony but I had known that right? Everyone around us was in a fabulous mood. Alice had put on quite a nice little do and everyone was relaxed and jovial. Bella was working behind the bar and I was pretty sure she had chosen that option herself, rather than have to be part of the upbeat bunch of staff members who were milling around us and chatting excitedly. She refused to acknowledge my presence, which I couldn't blame her for, and when it came to Alice, Emmett, Jasper or Rosalie she was polite but distant. I knew this because I could not take my eyes off her. I saw every interaction she had with the people around her. I saw it when she moved to take orders from a patron. I took note of every mannerism she displayed and locked it away to remember once we had left and I no longer had any contact with her. Bella constantly smiled but it never reached her eyes. She was hurting and she was angry and it was all my fault. I kept telling myself that this was the only way, but it was starting to sound hollow even to my own ears. Bella shouldn't be hurting. I felt like a complete ass hole.

I ensured that I was never close to her. I knew that the things I loved about her would be my undoing if I did so. Her scent, the shapely mouth, the look of perceptiveness in her eyes, the way she smiled at people as if they were really important to her. All of it – too much to take in, and still stay away, so I was a coward and didn't tempt myself in any way at all. Distance – that was my best option.

"Are you going to talk to her?" Emmett was intruding on my thoughts "or are you just going to stare at her all night and keep feeling sorry for yourself?"

I returned his look coolly. "No to both of your questions Emmett. Now was there something else you wanted?"

"You're making a mistake Edward. She could possibly be the girl you've been waiting for. She could be the fucking one." Emmett never talked about this kind of thing as a general rule so I knew he was pretty fired up about Bella and what we were doing to her.

"You think I don't know that? I am not happy about any of this but what else am I meant to do? Being with me, even just as a friend could harm her. If that was Rose there and you had to make the choice, what would you do?"

Emmett's face was all seriousness as he answered and I couldn't deny that he was telling me the truth.

"I would fight for her and then I would protect her." Was it really as simple as that for him? "That's not to say that I wouldn't be worried. I would be, but I wouldn't let it make me, or more importantly her, miss out on something that was worth having. That's what I would do Edward Cullen but we are completely different men aren't we?"

"Apparently so, because I don't have the guts to take that risk." I stated as I walked away from his earnestness. I wasn't used to it from him and it was making me second guess myself.

The time came for us to be playing a few songs for the audience of hotel staff and select patrons. Although my heart wasn't in it I chose to give it my best attempt. I sang as I should and moved as was expected but the whole time I was attuned to the girl at the bar. For the first time all night she was taking notice of what we were doing; what I was doing. Bella had stopped serving and was seemingly captivated by our performance. We were playing acoustically which leant an intimate atmosphere to the proceedings and when I saw her shake her head and begin serving again I realized that she had been responding to it without actually realising it. I felt a flash of pride go through me that I could make her react so strongly to our music, even when she didn't want to. I wanted her to like the things I had put my heart and soul into.

When the guy at the bar placed his hand on her arm as she was giving him his drink I wanted to drop my microphone there and then and go and rip it off. Bella gave him an admonishing look and said something to him before moving to the back of the bar away from him. I allowed the tenseness to seep out of me, realizing that she was not going to allow him to touch her but when we finally finished performing I kept my eye on the man just in case he tried anything else. He did - several times; hands on her, grabbing her as she passed, making suggestive comments towards her and each time I had just about given in and gone over to help her out when she showed her own strength and set him straight that his advances were unwelcome.

"He's being a bit of a nuisance, isn't he," Jasper stated quietly as he felt me tense up for the umpteenth time in a matter of half an hour. "Should we intervene?" Why was it, that everyone in my family was watching Bella as closely as I was? What was it about her that made our whole evening revolve around her well being?

I shook my head at him. "I have a feeling that if any of us even attempted it she would bite our heads off. I suppose we should just let her deal with it…. But jeez, it's getting harder and harder watching that guy grope at her. Why doesn't she ask one of the bar guys to help her?" As I spoke the man grabbed Bella around the waist, as she walked past him, and pulled her onto his lap; hands latched around her so she couldn't escape. That was it. No way in this world I was ignoring that. I strode towards them and noted with disgust that the guy had had way too much to drink. His face was stretched into a grotesque leer as he tried to nuzzle into Bella's neck. I was going to break him. He had no right to be doing that. I was at boiling point. Jasper was right beside me and I vaguely registered that he was telling me not to make a scene and go overboard. Yeh right; as if I had that much control at the moment.

I was just about up to them when Bella stopped squirming against him and glared at me with squinted eyes. I stopped short. She was furious and I knew from the look in her eyes that it wasn't only with the man who was harassing her. The scowl and angry glare never moved from being directed at me even as she spoke to the man.

"You have exactly three seconds to get your hands off me or I will make sure you are escorted off the premises by the police." Bella's voice dripped venom and I had to restrain from grinning at her tenacity. "I don't care how important you think you are. Jim will understand."

The fool was laughing at her but let go of her so that she could remove herself from his hold. She wiped away at the spot where he had held her with her hands, as if she was trying to get his touch off her.

"Just having a bit of fun, girly. Didn't need to get so stressed about it." He slurred his words as he held his hands up in the air. By this time Ryan had noticed that something was wrong so had come over to check.

"All ok Belles?" His tone was harsh as he looked at the drunken guy.

"Fine but I think Mr Hammond here has had enough to drink tonight Ryan."

"I most certainly have not. I was just giving Bella some loving attention. It is obvious she needs some." Mr Hammond actually had the nerve to wink at Ryan as if he was letting him on a secret. "She wanted me. She can't say she didn't. Been asking for it all night."

Bella simply sighed in resignation and mouthed 'jerk' to Ryan who instantly told Bella he would deal with it. He turned Mr Hammond away from us and started to walk him towards the door leading to the foyer. I sincerely hoped it was the last we saw of him because I was internally seething at his accusation that Bella had wanted him. How dare he!

Bella looked at Jasper and I still standing there doing nothing and offered us another one of her glares. Without speaking she went to return behind the bar.

"Are you ok Bella?" I was sure she would hear the nervousness in my voice but I wanted to make sure before I left. Her back straightened and she whirled around to face me again.

"And you care because?" I didn't miss the sarcasm. She was really mad. "You can't come over here and think you can play the hero Edward when you've made it quite clear you want nothing to do with me. It doesn't work like that. Besides the fact that I can look after myself with creeps like that, the only person I would accept any kind of help from would be a friend – in case you hadn't noticed, that is not us"

I tried to remain calm but her assertion was making me feel ill. I only had myself to blame for her tirade but it didn't help that she could not understand how very badly she was wrong.

"Bella. It's not that I don't want anything to do with you; it's just that I can't. I don't…"

She interrupted me before I could say any more. "Whatever your reasons the end result is the same. Let it go at that. Tonight has been a shitty enough night as it is." She slammed a tray down and escaped towards a room at the back of the bar. I went to follow her and Jasper held me back.

"She's right. You need to let her go and make a decision about what you want. You can't be nice to her one moment and then ignore her the next. It's not fair. Give her some space while you work it out."

Jasper was right, I knew it, but I wasn't ready to admit that I could have been wrong. I was doing this for the right reasons even if I hadn't done it the right way. I had already realized that it would be all or nothing with Bella. If I let her in even a little bit I would never be able to let go so…….I had chosen the nothing against my own need, and consoled myself with the knowledge that she would be better off for it. I grabbed my first drink of the night and let it slide down my throat quickly and effortlessly. Confusion reigned. What should I do now?

Ryan returned to behind the bar and I listened as Jasper asked the questions I wanted answers to. Ryan let us know that Jeremy Hammond was some big shot project manager who was staying at the hotel. Ryan had escorted him back to his room and told him to stay away from Bella. Ryan's face creased up in frustration when he said that and I wondered what the guy had said to him that made him feel agitated still.

"Bella did nothing to bring that on, you know Ryan. That guy was an absolute creep. He wouldn't leave her alone," There was no way I was chancing that Ryan thought Bella had led that guy on.

"Of course not. I know Bella and there is no way she would lead anyone on."Ryan looked at me, surprised. "He was just a little too graphic with me on our way to his room as to what he likes about Bella and what he would like to do. It's making me feel a little uncomfortable. I hope he follows my instructions and stays put for the night. Sleep off the drink." He peered around the room. "Where is Bella anyway?"

"Ah, she was a little angry and went into that room at the back of the bar," Jasper pointed and it brought my attention back to Bella and where she had disappeared to.

"I better go check on her. I wish there was something we could do to stop our female staff getting harassed by patrons. They really shouldn't have to deal with it." Ryan sighed and headed back towards the rooms we had pointed too.

Jasper searched my face to find out what I wanted to do next. Stay here to see Bella or remove ourselves from her presence. "It appears she is in good hands if you want to make yourself scarce Edward."

Maybe I should. Bella was with someone who cared about her and it wasn't as if she was going to let me help in anyway. I could……

"Edward, Jasper, where is Bella? I just saw her in danger. Blond guy, about 30 grabbing her and trying to…"

I interrupted her "Alice, calm down that's already happened. You're a bit late with this one. She's fine. One of the guys at the bar sorted it out. Ryan is with her now."

"No, no, no. You don't understand," Alice was pleading with me but at that moment Ryan came out of the back with a perplexed expression on his face.

"She's nowhere out there and it seems that she has grabbed her belongings. If I didn't know better I would think she has just left work in the middle of a shift for the first time ever. Darn, she must have been upset."

My eyes darted back to Alice in a panic. She grabbed our arms and took us away from Ryan so he couldn't hear her.

"That's what I am trying to tell you. It's not in here. It's outside and Edward I think it is in the same place where you two met. That's the feeling I am getting anyway."

I was already moving towards the staff exit before she had finished the sentence and heard Jasper, as if from a distance, say that he was going to get Emmett and they would follow me. Damn it, if that Jeremy Hammond had even laid one finger on her I was going to make his life hell. I hoped we were quick enough.


	11. Chapter 11: The Need to Protect

Chapter 11

BPOV – The Need to Protect

I forcefully grabbed my bag and headed towards the staff exit. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I didn't care. I would face the consequences in the morning. I just needed to leave. What was wrong with me? I had dealt with over-amorous customers before and never felt such anger as I was feeling now. I was fuming; and that was a little over the top, considering this scenario was something that happened reasonably often in our job. Loneliness and drink weren't a good combination in a bar and we were the easy targets. I could usually just put the guy back in place, asking them to leave and then get on with the job. Not today. Today I had to react like a raging bull; harshly speaking to Edward, slamming trays onto counters and leaving my job in a huff. Not the normal Bella way to respond to something. Far from it, really. I needed to retain some perspective and look at this objectively. Why the hell was I so angry?

I was angry with Jeremy Hammond for thinking he had the right to put his hands all over me like a piece of meat. I was angry that I had had to put up with his lewd comments and suggestions. Ok, good enough reason to be feeling a little agitated but hey I should have been able to just get over that and moved on. No there was more to it than that. Edward.

I was furious with Edward for having the gall to think he could waltz into my life, make me love him and then completely ignore me for god knows what reasons, until some fool in the bar lays his grotty little hands on me and he feels the need to be my knight in shining armour. How dare he. It was all too confusing. I turned the thought over in my head, realizing it was still not ringing true – sure I was angry at him but…. the truth was suddenly blatantly clear. The person I was infuriated with, the most, was me.

I was angry because even as I tried to ignore his presence in the room I was all too aware of him. I was pissed off that as soon as he sang I wanted to stop whatever I was doing and just allow his voice to wash over me and take all my worries away. I was furious because for a brief moment in time, as I watched Edward walk towards me with the sole purpose of helping me with the problem that was Jeremy Hammond, I had actually allowed myself to believe that he might care about me; that the look of irritation on his face meant he might possibly have the same sort of feelings I did. The fleeting thought disappeared almost instantly and I glared at him to stop his advance. I was not going to allow myself to hope, to feel. He would not get to me again. Edward Cullen needed to be nothing to me.

The onslaught of cold air invaded my senses as I walked through the exit into the back lane. I huddled into my jacket and thought about returning inside and getting back to work. I was feeling calmer now that I recognised where all my anger was coming from. I could control it now that I understood it. Besides, Jim would not only be upset with me for leaving work during my shift but also because I had come out here without an escort. He always made sure that we had someone with us when we left work to get public transport or a taxi at night. I peered towards the shadows made by the street lights and a sense of eeriness settled upon me. I was definitely returning inside.

"So Bella. We meet again. Have you come looking for some fun? I am more than willing to help you out there." Jeremy stepped out from the shadows and I tensed with unease. "Your friend Ryan told me to stay in my room but I am not used to being given orders so I thought I'd wait out here for you instead. Happy to see me?"

Jeremy was moving towards me quickly and I felt myself being moved towards the wall involuntarily as I tried to think what would be the best way for me to escape. He was definitely stronger than me and I thought about running, but given my inability to stay on two feet at times I was assuming I wouldn't get too far before he grabbed me. I was coming up with nothing. Soon he was way too close. I could smell his rancid breath against my face; not only alcohol but cigarette combined to make him smell foul to me.

"You feel good, Bella," he was groping now as he pressed himself against me. I thought of another man who had been this close to me in almost the same place and winced silently. That had made me feel completely different to this. Edward hadn't been trying to invade my personal space. I slowly moved my hand towards the bag slung over my shoulder so that he wouldn't register the movement and felt around inside. He didn't notice.

"Jeremy, you need to get your hands off me now,"

"Or what Bella? It kind of seems to me that we're alone right now. Who is going to come to your rescue?"

Yes, who indeed. No-one knew I had come out here. I was going to have to sort this one out myself.

"You don't need to be forcing yourself on girls Jeremy," I tried to keep my voice calm "I am sure there are many girls who want you in this way. Just please – that's not me."

His blood shot eyes looked into my own and he tried to croon into my ear "How do you know until you've tried Bella. Come on" He was leaning in to kiss me and dread filled me. I could not have those lips against mine, Never.

I couldn't stand it any longer so I shoved against him with my hand, bringing my knee up to find its place in his groin area and he doubled over in pain. The keys I had been trying to recover in my bag were now between my fingers, ready to use as a weapon. I had begun to run from him but he was almost at my side before I had taken enough steps to get away. I twisted to get away from him but fell backwards instead and he was on top of me like a dead weight.

"You little bitch," He snarled at me and brought his hand up in readiness to strike. I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't see the descent of his hand towards my face and all of a sudden he was roughly pulled away from me and the impact never happened. My eyes flew open to witness Jeremy up against the wall with Edward's hand pinning him there by the throat. The hostility radiating off Edward was frightening and I could see that even through his drunken stupor Jeremy knew he was in trouble.

Edward never took his eyes off Jeremy. "Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Maybe you should let him go," I got up awkwardly and made my way to his side, making sure I concentrated on Edward and not the man who had just tried to hurt me. If I looked at Jeremy, I might actually let Edward follow through with whatever he wanted to do to him.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rip you apart right now," Edward growled at Jeremy. Jeremy looked back at him balefully and I knew I needed to do something quickly because Edward was beyond reason now and he was going to do something he would regret.

I placed my hand on Edward's shoulder and immediately felt the electricity. Damn I was in the middle of a crisis and he could still have that impact on me. "Edward, please. Don't hurt him. He's not worth it."

"She's right Edward. Let him go." Jasper's voice came from behind me and I noticed as I turned that he was not alone. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jim flanked him. "Think about where we are and who you are. Now is not the right time." I hoped that the same calm that came over me upon hearing Jasper's voice would work its magic on Edward.

"But he…. you didn't see what he was trying to do," Edward's face looked at his friends and the anger reignited "He was about to hit her. He had his fist closed and he was about to punch her in the face. He can't just get away with that."

Jasper and Emmett were moving towards Edward and Alice was moving towards me. She placed her arm around my shoulder and moved me away from Edward.

"Are you ok. He didn't… you know…. he didn't get…"

"No Alice, he didn't. He got a little too close for comfort but I kicked him where it hurts and he had to let go. He was about to punch me and Edward turned up." I cringed at the memory of him up against me and heard Rose say vehemently.

"Good on you Bella. Don't take that kind of crap lying down."

I tried to smile at her but I am sure it didn't come out right. "We need to get Edward to drop this. I am fine and if he takes this further and hurts Jeremy we are going to have a media circus to deal with. I don't need that on my conscience. I want to forget this whole thing ever happened."

"Don't worry about it; the boys will sort it out." Alice said confidently. "Let's go back inside,"

I shook my head. I was not leaving anyone out here until I knew what the outcome would be. Jim had joined the boys in working out what to do with Jeremy Hammond and I tried to listen carefully to what they were saying even as I felt the fatigue come over me. I noted with satisfaction that Edward had let go of Jeremy but Emmett and Jasper were still ensuring that he didn't take a swipe at him every time Jeremy made a drunken comment.

"I am sure I could make the media listen if I told them that the big shot Edward Cullen had assaulted me because of some little cock tease who………." Edward sprang at Jeremy but Emmett and Jasper were too quick and held him back before he could connect. That was it; I had had enough and walked over to face Jeremy in order to finish this once and for all.

"My suggestion to you would be to forget this even happened, unless of course you would enjoy a little stint in jail for assaulting me. Not so sure that your career would cope with that well." I threw the words maliciously at him.

" and why would they believe a nothing like you over an upstanding community member such as myself?" the drinking really had affected his ability to think straight.

"Besides the fact that I have witnesses to back me up, this little nothing also has a father who is chief of police. Now, how do you think my daddy would react to someone having their dirty little paws over his only daughter? Not well, I can guarantee. Would you like to check that out for yourself?" I took my mobile out of my bag and held it up. "The police community are so close knit that they would be willing to do anything to ensure that I got my justice."

Jeremy looked at me in horror and then at Jim for confirmation. Jim nodded back at him gravely.

"So here is the deal Mr Hammond," I stood straight and made sure he understood every word I said. "I am willing to forget that this whole ugly incident even happened on the condition that you do not do anything to bring media attention to anyone standing in this laneway. Not a word to anyone because if you do I will make sure that my father is quite aware of what your intentions had been and how much you hurt me. I know, without a doubt, that he will throw the book at you."

"No Bella, you can't do that. He needs to be punished," Edward pleaded with me and I sent my own silent message back at him. Couldn't he see that I was doing this for him and the rest of this group of people, including Jim. None of them needed media attention. As if he understood he continued. "Call the police and have him charged. We can deal with the fallout. Please Bella."

Everyone was looking at me to see what I would do. I looked at Jeremy and waited for his response.

"Ok deal. I will not breath a word to anyone as long as you keep the police from knowing what happened tonight,"

I nodded my head. "Done. I will keep my end of the bargain as long as you keep yours."

Edward's shoulders fell. "I am sorry Edward but it is the best way. Jim would you mind if I went home now?"

Jim agreed half heartedly and suggested we all go back inside. Emmett grabbed Jeremy to escort him back in as well. No-one looked happy that Jeremy had been given an out. Jeremy, however did not have the capability to realize that he should just shut up and not aggravate the situation any further.

"You know I only did it because she wanted me, right," he was speaking to Emmett and before I could entirely turn around to see how Emmett would respond to such a ludicrous suggestion I heard a thump combined with a gasp of pain. Jeremy was holding his stomach with both hands and Emmett was grinning madly.

"Oops, sorry. I kind of slipped. I don't know what came over me." Emmett winked at us and I tried to look affronted with his lack of control. Edward did not even attempt to do that.

"Thanks bro," Edward stated quietly and for the first time since he had found us he appeared to be less frenzied. I wondered why Emmett's actions had made that so.

"No probs – it was an absolute pleasure." Emmett answered as Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Neanderthal,"

"Only when it is deserved my dear, only when it is deserved."


	12. Chapter 12: Marking It Down To Learning

Chapter 12

BPOV – Marking it Down to Learning

I was sitting in the passenger seat of Jim's BMW, on my way home as I had requested, but instead of Jim, Edward was at the wheel. Jim had not been the only one surprised when Edward said he would take me home, but he had collected himself quickly and placed his own car keys in Edward's hands to ensure our anonymity when we left the hotel. It had worked. There were only a few hardcore fans waiting outside the hotel, due to the lateness, and they hadn't taken a second look at Jim's car. They obviously had been there long enough to know that this car was not associated with the Cullens.

Edward had not spoken at all, just kept his eyes on the road and his hands tightly around the steering wheel so that his knuckles showed white. He was still agitated and I was nervous.

When he finally broke the silence, his voice reminded me of diamonds –all hard and impenetrable.

"Did he hurt you Bella? Did I get there too late?" His head faced me slightly so that he could glance towards me to get my answer. The lack of light in the car meant his eyes were dark and fathomless, not the perfect emerald colour that I loved so much. I couldn't read what he was thinking and I so desperately wanted to. I briefly shook my head negatively in answer to his question. I didn't trust myself to speak out loud. I wasn't willing to let him know that Jeremy had touched me where he shouldn't have and that he had tried to force his kisses on me. I was not going to tell him that I would probably have a few bruises inking my skin as we spoke. I knew it would do no good to tell him, and something told me that it would only make him go back to that frenzied state that he had been in whilst holding Jeremy against the wall. I didn't need that right now. He nodded curtly at me and forced his attention back to the road. Silence.

"I'm sorry Edward,"

His head snapped towards me. "What for?"

"For making you so angry. For getting you involved."

Edward took one hand off the wheel and ran it through his hair roughly, making it stick out in an unruly mess. I liked it that way. He took a deep breath and made his voice even as he answered me.

"I got myself involved, Bella and I am not angry with you. I am just so fucking furious that that scum did what he did. I can't get past what it was like to see you under him and him having his hand up to hit you….Jesus Christ he was actually going to fucking strike you. I hate that I could do nothing to make him pay for that… that I didn't get there in time to stop him from even laying one finger on you." He seemed to realize he was getting himself all worked up again and tried to control his voice once more into a low timber. "Bella I don't understand why you would let him get away with doing that to you. You stopped me from hurting him and then you promised to let him off the hook. Why? I need to understand why the fuck you would do that,"

"The same way I need to understand how we were friends one moment and the next, not? Is that what you mean Edward?" I said the words gently although they hurt me to say them. Edward was surprised at the change in topic and how I had managed to link the two. I let him stew on that. "This is my apartment block Edward if you would like to pull in there" I pointed to a space that was clear and the fact that it was clear let me know that Angela was not at home tonight. Great I wouldn't even have her to talk to about what had happened. Edward deftly parked and turned off the engine before swiveling his body to face me.

"You haven't answered my question Bella."

"And you haven't answered mine, which suggests that maybe you and I have a bit of talking to do; but not here. Would you like to come in?" I was being forward and pushy, I knew, but I didn't want him to leave and have to go back to that awful place we were in before tonight had even happened. If Edward wanted to ignore me from now on, let him do it with my understanding of why. Besides, I was more than a little concerned that once I was alone I would break down and relive the nightmare of having Jeremy's hands roving over my body. I wanted to prolong that for as long as I could.

Edward was peering up and down the street suspiciously before suddenly opening his door and coming around to open mine. He helped me out and smiled uncertainly at me. "Ok. Let's talk."

He followed me up the stairs and watched patiently as I fumbled for the keys to open the door. I had become nervous as soon as I realized I was about to let Edward into my apartment and open up to him in other ways as well. I hoped that we could come out of this at least being friends.

Once inside I headed towards the kitchen to put on the kettle to make coffee. Even if he didn't want one I needed one to calm my nerves, so he would just have to wait. He silently followed. "Would you like a coffee?"

"Sure. Milk and one sugar please,"

I busied myself making the two cups while he busied himself studying me. "Are you sure you're up to this Bella? We could do it another time. You have had a bit of a nasty scare tonight. I could leave and let you get some rest." The concern in his face was almost too much so I looked away. No way was I letting him out of here before we worked out what the problem was.

"I'm fine. Stop fussing," I passed him his coffee and directed him into the living area. He sat down on the three seater and I placed myself next to him, curling one leg up under my body and facing him as I sipped my drink. I studied the features of his face as he looked down at his cup, apparently concentrating on anything else but me. When he finally lifted his gaze up to meet mine, ready for our confrontation, I knew I was completely mesmerized and wondered if I could go through with this.

"So,' his own voice was a little unsteady "I made a mistake,"

That admission was the last thing I had expected. What did he mean by that? Was he saying that he should never have spoken to me in the first place or asked me to sit with them for drinks? Was that the mistake he wanted to let me know he had made?

"Pardon?"

"I made a mistake thinking that I could meet you, get to know you and then just pretend that it had never happened. It's impossible. There is something about you that makes me want to know more about you; to be……your friend. Trying to stop that friendship from developing was a mistake on my part. It seems stupid that I even attempted it."

"Oh," I was stunned into silence. I had absolutely nothing to retort with. He took my silence as annoyance.

"I am so sorry Bella. I know what I am saying is in complete contradiction to what I've done over the past week, and that you must be annoyed by my lack of consideration for your feelings in all of this, but all I can say in my own defense is that I was thinking of you."

For the second time tonight I didn't trust the use of my own voice to respond to him so I sat there looking totally lost in my confusion. He used his lopsided grin on me even though, this time, it looked a little bashful.

"Look Bella, here is the thing. I am not good at knowing what to do in this situation. I have never in my life wanted to be friends with someone as strongly as I feel the need to with you. I have this thing about needing to protect the people around me and that just seems to be magnified tenfold with you. I don't understand it and, to be completely honest with you, it scares me beyond silly, but I don't seem to be able to stop it. You can think I am a weirdo and have nothing to do with me but I am laying it out there for you, so that you know that my poor behavior was not because I didn't want you around; far from it."

He looked at me expectantly and I finally found my voice. "I don't think you're a weirdo at all but I still don't understand the hot and cold routine."

He appeared relieved that I wasn't throwing him out after his revelation and he relaxed somewhat. I could tell by the way he leant towards me as he spoke.

"My life is public domain. Everything I do is recorded for the masses. When you live with such publicity you tend to forget that there is another way of life – a life that has nothing to do with attention. When I met you, it was like a breath of fresh air and you didn't seem concerned at all with the fame or the wealth or the attention. All you cared about was me and the others. It made me realize just how different our lives are and how complicated things would get if we were to become friends. You would be hounded by the press; you would have to constantly be bombarded with images and stories about what I was doing that might be in conflict with what you thought of me, and even more dramatically you could be hurt. There are some people out there who are willing to do anything to hurt me; even hurt those I care about so I thought…"

I interrupted him "So you thought that it would be best for us not to be friends at all so that I didn't have to deal with any of that."

He nodded.

"Ok I can understand that; kind of….. but I would have preferred to have had a choice in the matter and not to be ignored as if I had some form of disease you didn't want to catch." I arched my eyebrow up at him and he looked away in embarrassment. "If this was how you felt, why did you ask me to have a drink with you guys at all? We could have been just acquaintances up to that point. We could have just said our polite hellos and goodbyes and you would have left the hotel without any worries. Why didn't you do that?"

Edward was uncomfortable and for a moment I thought I had pushed too hard to get the answers I wanted. He adjusted the way he was sitting and concentrated on his hands, thinking through the answer he would give me.

"Because I was drawn to you and because I was selfish," My breath caught in my throat as he said those words. They were too close to my own thoughts, my own feelings. I understood what it was like to be drawn to a person without any rhyme or reason to it; and having it happen after such a short period of time. I had reciprocated the same need without him even being aware of it.

"You made me feel normal. When I spoke to you it was like you could sense how I was feeling, and what I was needing. You didn't put on any airs and graces; you didn't make me feel like I was just a musician who happened to be popular at the moment; you made me feel like me – the real me. I wanted more of that. And then when you spent the afternoon with us I knew that you were interesting and bright and well… beautiful – inside and out." He glanced at me and must have noticed that I had my mouth open in a silent oh. He smiled ruefully as he shook his head. "Too much, too soon? I am sorry Bella but I was just trying to explain honestly."

"You think I'm beautiful?" I could hear the skepticism in my own voice. I couldn't fathom that this incredibly good looking man in front of me would even think like that about me. I was shaking my own head in disbelief.

"Of course – inside and out, like I just said. Is that so hard to believe?" Edward was unintentionally leaning towards me and if I was to move just a tiny bit we could almost be touching. I wasn't willing to take the risk. It was hard enough now to keep my composure without touching him as well.

"Kind of." I answered instead.

"Well it shouldn't be. Trust me." He was gazing at me meaningfully and I tried not to lose concentration. He thinks I'm beautiful. My god he really does. He shook his head slightly. "So back to my admission. The night you came to the concert I was so happy to see you that it made me realize that I was going to try and make a friendship work with you, if that's what you wanted and then…."

" Something happened that night to make you change your mind."

"Aha. A threat was made against the girls because of me. I knew then that I could never let you be part of that so I did the thing I do best. I ignored you and the possibility of a friendship. It was the only way I could be assured of your safety because I knew if I didn't do it, we would become friends and I wouldn't be able to give that up easily."

I laughed uncomfortably. "Edward I thought you were ignoring me because you realized I was a nobody who wasn't in the same league as you; that I was too normal to hang around."

"I would never think that way Bella; not about anyone, least of all you. I think you are far from normal and tonight just proved it even more. You are incredible, the way you deal with things. I am a little in awe really."

"You do realize, don't you, Edward, that tonight also proves that you are wrong. My lack of safety doesn't have to hinge on our friendship. Tonight had nothing to do with you and I still managed to get myself into trouble. In fact if it wasn't for you I could be badly hurt now instead of sitting here talking to you about friendship,"

Edward cringed and I felt guilty for bringing it up. Edward tried to make light of things."Not that you were going to go down without a fight, were you Bella? I saw the keys in your hand ready to take a swipe at him when you got the chance."

"Absolutely and I had just given him a jarring kick to his groin area that I hope he is still wincing from, as we speak," I giggled a little foolishly.

Edward's eyes reflected his surprise. "You did? I wish I had have seen that one. It would have made me feel so much better, which also brings us to my question for you. Why did you let him off the hook like that?"

Edward was searching my face intently. He had answered my question honestly and deserved the same respect back.

"Because of you."

"What, no Bella please don't say that. He needed to be punished for what he did, for what he was going to do. I could have hurt him for you. I should have made him pay."

"Edward that is exactly what I am talking about. You could have hurt him yes, but that's not you. Do you know that one of the things I like so much about you is that you care, really care. You almost tortured yourself silly about accidently leaving a small bruise on my wrist. Imagine what you would have been like when you came down from the anger and realized you had badly hurt some drunken guy. It might have felt good at the time but later when the evidence was before you of what you had done – you wouldn't feel good at all."

It was his turn to look at me in wonder and then reply in stubbornness. "Regardless of how I felt after the fact, I would have been happy to give you some form of revenge; actually make that give me some form of revenge. He should never have been touching you at all, let alone hurting you. I will never forgive him for that. It makes me feel so impossibly enraged just thinking about it." He took a deep breath while his eyes shut momentarily. "Ok you might be right, so contrary to how I feel about this right now, I thank you for tomorrow."

I grinned at him "You're welcome."

"But that doesn't explain why you didn't have him charged. He has got away with this scott free."

"Well you have kind of answered that question already within tonight's discussion. The media would have had a frenzy with your involvement in an attempted assault case, with me being at the centre of it too. I didn't want any one of us having to deal with that circus. I know that I seem reasonably calm about all of this but to be completely honest with you I am angry and embarrassed as hell about it. I didn't want attention brought on us for something so dirty and ugly. And then when that scumbag threatened to go to the media to suggest that you had assaulted him, I saw red and I had to think of something quickly to stop that happening. Jeremy is a coward. He won't say anything to anyone now."

"How on earth did you manage to think so straight after everything you had just been through at his hands. All I wanted to do was rip him apart – nothing else mattered but him paying and yet you stayed cool, calm and collected enough to think of the ramifications of what would happen. You are really something."

I blushed at the compliment and shrugged my shoulders. We slid into a compatible silence before Edward revealed one last thing.

"Please don't take this the wrong way Bella, because I am not suggesting you should have done anything differently but one thing still bugs me and you might like to consider it before making a final decision. I am worried that if he was willing to do this to you; that he might try it out on someone else and is it fair that we have allowed that by not reporting him?"

"I've thought of that and have it sorted,"

"You have? How?"

"I promised Jeremy that I wouldn't tell the police about what happened tonight but I didn't promise that I wouldn't make the police 'aware' of him. A quick word in my dad's ear tomorrow about a guy I have noticed in the bar behaving inappropriately to women should do the trick in getting my dad to investigate and keep an eye on him through his contacts. If he tries anything again the police will hopefully pick up on it."

"I suppose that could work. Sure, why not?" Edward lifted his head back and laughed "Good girl Bella, you had it all covered. So your dad really is a chief of police?"

"Yep, just not here in Seattle,"

"Where then?" I was about to answer him when the front door flew open and a panicky Angela thrust herself into the room.

"Bella, are you ok? Jim just rang to tell me what happened tonight and to make sure you were ok. God, it must have been awful. I got here as soon as I could. Ben is behind me, trying to park the car." Angela was all nerves and concern. I smiled sedately at her and seeing that I wasn't a quivering mess, she paused to gather herself.

"Oh, hi Edward. Sorry. I didn't interrupt anything did I?"

"No, not at all, " Edward stated pleasantly. "Bella and I were just learning about one another. I am sure that now you are home she would feel more comfortable to just relax and rest like she should be doing." He got up off the lounge readying himself to leave.

I began to worry. Edward was going to walk out my front door and we hadn't made any decisions about how we proceeded. Were we friends or were we best not to be? He obviously cared about me in some way, considering his reaction to me being hurt and then the conversation we just had. I got up to follow him to the door. Angela made some excuse about why she needed to be in the kitchen.

"Edward," We were staring at one another, neither of us willing to open the door. "Are we friends?"

He raised his hand to place a strand of hair back behind my ear where it had escaped from my ponytail. His touch sent sensation after sensation into my nerve endings. "I believe so." he whispered, still a little uneasy about the prospect. "That is, of course, if you are willing. It won't necessarily be easy."

"I'm willing."

"Good, so from one friend to another, you need to get some rest and not waste one minute more on thinking about what happened tonight." There were parts of tonight that I wanted to remember and think about over and over again but I wasn't about to tell him that. "Sweet dreams Bella."

"Good night," I tried to keep the longing out of my words as he opened the door. "and Edward,"

"Hmmh…" He looked slightly bemused at our proximity and the fact that he was leaving.

"Thank you for saving me,"

He leant down and kissed me on the forehead. "Likewise, Bella. Without a doubt, likewise."


	13. Chapter 13: Intensity

Chapter 13

EPOV - Intensity

Against my own better judgement I had given into the lure that was Bella. I was hoping, with everything I had, that we had made the right decision and I would not live to regret the choices. I had opened up to her about almost everything and it made me feel happy and concerned at the same time. It was unchartered waters for me. I needed to find a way that this could work.

When Bella had asked me if we were friends and I had stood there looking at her petite frame and her hesitant expression of hope, a surge of tenderness had hit me and I knew that there was no possible way I could say no to this girl. She had managed to win my heart without putting any effort into it at all and now I was willing to try and win hers in return. As Emmett had suggested earlier tonight I was going to have to fight for her and then protect her because there was no doubt in my mind that if we were to be together, she would need protecting; not just from the likes of James but from the heartache of having a famous partner – from the rumours, from the reality, from the time apart. Was I willing to do this to her? After tonight the answer was yes. I could not walk away from her without at least having her friendship – I needed that, so I had reached out to touch her hair and warned her one last time that friendship with me would not be easy. She had accepted it without blinking an eye; she had accepted it as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Bella was someone special, something significant and she was willing to try. That meant I was too.

The drive back to the hotel was full of conflicting emotions due to the nature of tonight's events. I was still seething with inconsolable rage about what Bella had been through at the hands of Jeremy. Bella had put on a brave face about the whole situation, but I knew she would probably be tormented with those images way beyond tonight. Part of me wanted to march straight back to the hotel and find him and finish off what I would have liked to have done if Bella and Jasper had not stopped me. The other part hoped that he would be nowhere to be seen so that I wouldn't have to fight that very strong urge; I wanted to be what Bella believed me to be – not a thug but someone worth knowing. I was going to have to stay right away from him in order to fulfil that goal.

By the time I had parked the car and made my way to our hotel apartment I had managed to convince myself to only think about the good things from tonight. Bella's strength of character, her bemusement when I had told her she was beautiful, the way her hair had felt like silk against my fingers when I had moved it behind her ear and the feel of her skin against my lips when I had kissed her so chastely, even though I was longing to kiss her with a fire that I had never felt before. I allowed all those images to take over my mind and sooth me before I set foot into the apartment; I knew that everybody would be waiting for me to report on how Bella was and I wanted to be calm when I spoke to them.

The barrage of questions as I entered was more than expected so I kept my composure and answered each of them the best I could. My answers seemed to bring about a sense of relief to everyone, even Rose which I should not have been surprised at considering her own history.

"Jim asked Jeremy to leave the hotel once you and Bella had gone, so he is no longer anywhere in the vicinity, thank goodness," Alice reported to me. I wondered if she was giving me a silent warning that I did not need to go out looking for him for some type of revenge. I smirked at her hidden meaning and nodded briefly.

"So what happens next?" Emmett was straight to the point. "Is Bella still off limits to us because it would seem to me that maybe us being around wouldn't be so bad after all."

"Well, we've decided to be friends so I guess we will need to see where to go with that," I answered and as I watched the expressions of happiness pass over my family's faces I realized that Bella wasn't only good for me but for all of us. The poor girl had no chance.

"You mean she actually forgave you for your appalling rudeness over the past few days," Alice teased.

"I explained, Alice. I told her what my problem was and she accepted it. What can I say, she appears to be a very forgiving person. I told her about the threat and my concerns. She was willing to have a go at it anyway"

Alice was incredulous. "You told her about Victoria and James?"

"No I didn't and I would prefer that no-one else does either. She doesn't need to know what happened. All she needs to know is that we have to be careful. I don't want her to hate me before I have even got to know her."

"Oh Edward, when are you going to get it through your thick skull that….."

"I don't want to hear it Alice. You wanted me to open up to Bella and I did, as far as I could. Don't stop me from feeling happy about that, please,"

She relented and I was glad. I felt too happy to allow thoughts of Victoria and James to come between myself and what I wanted to be for Bella. The five of us rehashed the night's events one last time before everyone moved towards their own rooms to hit the sack. I remained where I was; too wound up to sleep yet. I wasn't surprised when I found I was no longer alone. Jasper took his place next to me and we sat in silence for a few moments more. He was waiting for me to take the lead.

"I'm in love with her you know." I said the words somewhat defensively and watched to see how Jasper would react to such an absurd notion. He didn't show any kind of negative expression.

"I know." He answered softly.

"Well how can that even be possible Jasper? How can I know someone for 5 minutes and already feel so strongly for her. I could have gladly killed Jeremy tonight for what he wanted to do to her; for what he did do and I just don't understand the intensity of that. All of a sudden everything is about her and what I can do to ensure her happiness and safety and I just don't understand how that has happened. Can you explain it to me because I am at a complete loss?"

Jasper looked at me with sympathy. "I don't think there is an explanation when it comes to love Edward. When it's right, it's right and nothing changes that. It doesn't worry about timing or the situation at hand."

"But it is too soon," I emphasized again.

"Edward. I fell in love with your sister the very first time I laid eyes on her. From the moment your parents opened their door to us and took us in, I knew that I would be with Alice forever. There was no question about it, even though I was only fifteen at the time. Now most people would say that fifteen is way too young to know about love or the prospect of being with your soul mate but it just happened anyway. I didn't do anything about my feelings for years but they were always there and I believe that Alice felt the same way too. Do you believe that we shouldn't be together now because it was too soon for us to have feelings all those years ago? Alice and I were meant to be together so it happened. It is no different for you. Don't concentrate on why you should not be in love yet, just accept that you are and work out how you are going to make it work."

His words brought about a sense of rightness within me. If anyone should be together it was Jasper and Alice. They were so completely in tune with one another that I could never imagine them being apart. It was news to me that Jasper had felt that way right from the beginning and it made me agree that maybe what I was feeling was not so bad after all; maybe even more than right.

" and how do I make this work given the situation at hand – the fame, the threat, the media and my all encompassing need to keep her safe?"

"You make sure she realizes the depth of your feelings for her and never assume that she knows that the lies being printed are actual lies. Give her every reason to know that you are there for her, not the world; that she is the most important thing to you. As for safety you will have to do what Emmett and I do every day. Accept the danger and do your best to offer protection in whatever form you can. I know that scares you because I feel like that every day. I question my ability to keep Alice safe from everything our life entails and at the moment the prospect that James is going to harm her in some way while I am not there makes me feel fucking sick to my stomach but…… I am never going to let go of her Edward. I just can't. She is better off with me beside her, offering at least a little protection, rather than go through it alone with nothing offered in return. We have each other. That is the main thing."

"Thanks Jazz. I needed to hear all of that." I was smiling now. Everything he had said made sense to me and it was now up to me to make things happen. I wanted Bella and it was time to do something about that. "So do you have any suggestion as to how I make her feel the same way about me?"

"hmmm. I don't think you'll have to force anything there Edward. She likes you a lot. It is very apparent but……. she still deserves to be romanced and given that we leave here in a couple of days I think you need to make sure you leave her with something special so……"

I was all ears.

********************************************************************************************

This time when I sent Bella flowers they weren't as an apology; they were an indicator that I was thinking of her and that I cared. The bouquet I chose entailed a dozen red and a dozen yellow roses and I sincerely hoped that she liked them. Jasper and I had spoken well into the night about what Bella deserved and I wanted these flowers to be the first step in making sure she realized her importance to me. I deliberated on what should go on the card. I didn't want to go overboard and frighten her off with my intensity so I finally came up with something simple but heartfelt.

_Bella.  
Your friendship is important to me so I was hoping we could learn more about one another over dinner tonight. Please ring me.  
Edward_

I laughed at the absurdity of having to ask Bella to ring me in order to ask her on a date but nothing about this was normal so I went with the flow. I did not have any way to contact her without asking questions of other staff. I realized I didn't even know her last name. I could always turn up on her doorstep unannounced to ask the question but something told me she would not like that, so having her ring me was the next best thing. It would allow her to ignore me if she didn't wish to take this further. The very thought of that made me start to question what I was doing. All I could do was wait.

When the phone rang I was startled out of my own thoughts and reached for it nervously, pressing the earpiece against my head and hoping that it would be her voice on the other end. It was and when she said hello I was reminded again of musical enchantments and knew instantly that she was going to accept my offer.

"Edward. The roses were incredibly beautiful. I love them. Thank you so much,"

I forced myself to respond to her words and not the quality of her voice. "My pleasure. I was hoping that they might cheer you up a bit after last night."

"Well, it worked. I am most definitely cheered but please don't feel like you need to buy me things to make me happy." I laughed internally at the prospect of Bella not being like other girls who wanted to be lavished with gifts. I was more than happy to give her anything she wanted and she was going to stop me from doing so. "Edward. I would love to go out for dinner with you. Nothing would make me happier. How on earth are we going to manage it though? Do you want me to come to the hotel?"

That wouldn't be my preference. I realized that I wanted to go on a normal date with her. Take her somewhere nice and act like two people who were just getting to know each other under normal circumstances. I wasn't entirely sure that I could make that happen though. "I guess we could do that but I was kind of willing to risk it and head out somewhere. I have been cooped up here way too long and besides I want to learn about what kind of places you like. Any ideas?"

Bella was silent and I wondered if I had said something wrong. Maybe she had hoped that I would take the lead and tell her where we were going. I hadn't thought she would be like that. I had thought she would like to make decisions together. When she finally responded her voice was warm with pleasure and I knew she had been contemplating where we could go rather than what I had done wrong.

"I have the perfect place but it is nothing fancy. Do you mind?"

"Mind? No way. I am not into fancy. As long as the food is good and so is the company, I am hooked."

Bella laughed. "Well I can guarantee the food. It is the best Italian you will get anywhere. As for the company, we will just have to wait to see if I can live up to expectations but I promise I will try." I grinned at the thought of her trying to impress. Did she not realize that she already had me hook, line and sinker? "I have a close friend who owns a restaurant on the outskirts of town. If we can get there undetected I can promise you that we will not be disturbed in anyway once there."

The prospect was tantalizing. A whole night with just Bella and I; no world to invade on our getting to know one another. Could we do this?

"Sounds perfect. Can I pick you up at say sevenish?" I was already trying to work out in my head how I could get out of the hotel and over to Bella's without anyone noticing. I really wanted this night to be about us only; not the fans nor the media.

"I will be waiting. I am really looking forward to this Edward. Thanks for asking."

********************************************************************************************

As I pulled up outside Bella's apartment I took a deep breath and checked the rearview mirror to ensure no one had followed me. There was nothing but the normal traffic and I allowed the tenseness to wash away from me. Getting to this point had been a huge rigmarole and luckily I had four very considerate people in my life who had helped me, at their own expense, because they wanted to see me make something happen with Bella. As I had left the hotel in a borrowed car, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie had left the hotel quite publicly to go out for dinner. During the havoc I had left undetected and now I was sitting here about to face a more important hurdle – making Bella care about me the same way I did her. I was entirely nervous about what tonight's date would bring about but I relished it anyway. Alone time with Bella – bliss.

When Bella opened the door in answer to my knock I was instantly blown away with her beauty. I realized I had never seen her in anything but her work clothes, up until this point, and they had not done justice to her perfect form. She was wearing a simple light blue dress that cinched at her waist before it flowed down to swirl around her calves. The thin straps of her dress left her shoulders bare except where her hair sat and her skin looked like pearly silkiness. Her hair was down so that it framed the natural beauty of her face. She was exquisite and I could have stood there marveling at her attractiveness forever except she was smiling at me in welcome and my reflexes were telling me I needed to respond.

"Bella you look…." downright edible would not be the right thing to say so I retained some decorum. "you look lovely."

Her cheeks tinged with blood as she took in my compliment, smiling like no one had ever said that to her before. Madness. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers across those cheeks to see if they were as warm as they appeared when she blushed like that. No touching. Give the girl some space to get to know you before you start finding excuses to touch, I scolded myself. Bella was like a gift that I needed to open with care. I was not about to ruin this all with one wrong move because I was too keen.

It was Bella who broke the no touching rule, not me, as she thanked me for the compliment and the flowers and reached up on tip toes to lightly place a kiss on my cheek, just grazing the edge of my mouth in the process. I closed my eyes in the brief moment that it happened and groaned inwardly. How could I follow through on my own order when she did that to me; when the merest touch sent such a strong current of longing through my body that I was very nearly undone. I ignored my own need to hold her in my arms and kiss her properly. I was going to do this the right way, so instead I smiled at her happiness and held the door open for her.

"Are we ready to go and experience this wonderful food you've promised me?"

"Absolutely. You are in for a treat," Bella's smile brought about an answering hiccup in the pattern of my heart beat. She was right. I was in for a treat but it had nothing to do with the food. The food could taste like dirt and I would still be happy. It was all about the company tonight. It was all about Bella.


	14. Chapter 14: Firsts

Chapter 14

BPOV – Firsts

It was like I was living in a dream; a wonderfully enjoyable dream that I never wanted to wake up from. I had woken up this morning after a restless night of sleep thinking that I had imagined the whole conversation between Edward and I - surely he hadn't opened up to me in such an honest way and told me he wanted us to be friends; that he thought I was beautiful. I had almost convinced myself that this was the case, when the doorbell had rung and I had opened the door to find the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers being held in the arms of a delivery man. They were from Edward and I couldn't help being ecstatic that he had sent them, even if it wasn't in my nature to accept gifts. When I read the card my excitement only grew. He most definitely wanted to be friends and had asked me on a date. I couldn't get to that phone quick enough.

Now here I was sitting across from the most appealing man I had ever encountered, in my favourite restaurant in the world, asking myself what I had done so right to lead me to this moment. Edward and I were seated in the most private booth in the restaurant thanks to my connection with the owner Georgie and we were trying to look busy reading the menu, while in actual fact we were entirely focused on each other. Edward kept glancing slyly over the top of the menu at me and I would smile at him in response. Finally he threw down his menu and laughed. "Bella, do you have any idea at all what we are reading cause I certainly don't. It is really hard to concentrate when you are watching me like that."

I should have been embarrassed but I found that I wasn't. "I have no idea either, Edward and that is because you are doing exactly the same thing – watching that is." I smiled winningly at him. "Look I am just surprised that we managed to do this without any kind of problem. I am surprised that we are able to sit down to a regular meal without there being some drama playing out. It's kind of nice. I like it."

"I do to," Edward replied and for an instant I thought he was going to take my hand, but he didn't and I found myself disappointed. "This is obviously a place you've been to a number of times, considering the reaction of the owner when we came in, so why don't we leave it up to you to order as the expert in this situation."

"You want me to order for you?"

"Sure why not. I seriously can't keep my attention on the menu and tonight is all about living outside the box and getting to know you. This will help us along the way. I am sure whatever you choose will be delicious."

The waitress chose that moment to come over and I saw her face light up as she swept her gaze over Edward's profile in the candlelight. She asked him if he was ready to order as she gave him a dazzling smile. I couldn't really blame her. Edward looked fantastic in his casual pants and pale green top. Everything about him exuded sexiness and confidence and I was sure no normal female would be immune to that. I felt a prick of jealousy try and worm itself into my consciousness but I noted with satisfaction that he spoke politely to her whilst never taking his eyes away from me, as he smiled "The lady will be ordering tonight,"

The girl reluctantly dragged her attention away from him and gave it to me. I quickly ordered two meals that I had tried, and liked, on previous occasions here and she moved away but not before trying to get his attention again. He was clueless and she went away a little disheartened.

"Is that a regular occurrence," I worked hard to keep my voice level as I asked the question. I didn't want to act like a jealous girlfriend when we were so far from that point.

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me in query. "Is what a regular occurrence?"

"The waitress was just flirting with you. She was mentally undressing you and hoping that she would get some kind of reaction from you. I was just interested to know if that is something you deal with everyday?"

"Oh, I hadn't noticed." Edward began to lace those fingers through his hair and it was apparent to me that he did this when he was anxious or harassed about something. I wished I could take back the question. It hadn't been my intention to make him feel uncomfortable. "Yes I guess it is a pretty regular thing to happen. People tend to show interest in me just because I am well known as a musician."

Was he serious? Did he actually believe that the only reason someone would show interest in him was because he was famous? I was sure there was some truth in what he was saying but if it came down to it Edward exuded a charm and attractiveness that had nothing to do with fame and everything to do with the way he held himself; the way he was.

"I hope that that doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable Bella because it kind of comes with the territory when you're friends with me. I don't overly like it but there is not much I can do about it."

I had no doubt that that was entirely true. "I'm not uncomfortable Edward. I just don't think the attention is all about you being famous. That's all. You have a certain charm that is…. well it is hard to resist,"

"Do you find my charm hard to resist Bella?" Edward's grinned, his tone was low and teasing now and I laughed self consciously for even bringing the subject up. "Because if that's the case I can tell you that makes me much happier than any other form of attention that is sent my way."

I bit my lower lip to keep in the gasp at both the implication and the truth shown in his eyes. It was way beyond my comprehension that he could show such interest in boring old me, but when he spoke like that it made me feel all tingly and giddy inside. I needed to get us back on safer ground. He must have thought the same thing because he changed the subject skillfully and we were soon talking about our lives in general.

I revealed my childhood moving between my divorced parent's houses. I explained what I was doing at uni and how I had just one year left of my course before I entered the real world of work. He listened attentively as I told him how my step dad Phil had helped me gain this current part time job I had at the hotel to help me pay my way through college and be able to share with Angela rather than live in a dorm situation. Every time I thought I had revealed enough about myself he would have another question for me and I couldn't help but answer because I saw in his eyes that he was really interested. He wanted to know everything there was to know about me and that felt good. He made me feel special.

Once dinner arrived and the waitress had tried one last ditch effort at gaining Edward's attention, much to both our amusement, we had interspersed our eating with small tidbits of information. I found out he had been learning the piano since he was 7 years old and that it was a passion he felt he could never live without. He got out of me stories of high school years of clumsiness where everyone in my gym class had been at risk from my inability to stay upright. We laughed at some of Emmett's antics over the years and cringed at the times when Rose's acid tongue had got them in trouble.

When Edward eventually started to tell me about his family I knew that they were a unique set of people. Edward's father, Carlisle was a doctor who Edward obviously looked up to a great deal. His mother Esme was an extremely giving woman according to Edward and he loved her beyond almost anything else in the world. Edward's parents had been so giving that they had taken Jasper and Rosalie in when they were 15, after their world had come crashing down and their parents had died in a car accident. They had been placed in foster home after foster home until Carlisle and Esme had made the decision to make them part of their family. Edward stumbled over the details here and I knew that there was more to that story but I wasn't willing to push. Maybe he felt they were things that weren't for him to reveal. I respected that.

The story of how Rose and Emmett had met intrigued me. They seemed so different in personalities and I wondered what had brought them together. Edward assured me that they complemented one another perfectly and that both of them would do absolutely anything for the other. They had met at a high school party when they were seventeen and Rose had been less than forthcoming in her attention towards Emmett. It had taken Emmett many months of consistent pursuit before Rosalie had finally succumbed to his charms. Edward had chuckled as he remembered all the goofy things Emmett tried to impress Rosalie and said that he thought Rosalie had been hooked from the start, but had fought her feelings because she wasn't used to relying on anyone else for her emotional well being. That wasn't hard for me to believe; to me Rosalie was still a hard one to decipher while Emmett was as open as a book. Opposites definitely did attract in this case.

Not once did we touch on the subject of how their group had become famous or even what had led to them starting the band in the first place. As I watched Edward's animated expressions and his joy in revealing parts of his past I recognised that he was enjoying just telling me the things that he regarded as normal, and so I didn't even ask the questions. I loved this easy going, relaxed form of Edward who was willing to share so much of himself with me and I was enthralled with the way he moved and smiled and basically everything about him. He was great company and I didn't want this night to end. I was all too aware that tomorrow was the day that Edward and the others would be leaving the hotel to continue on their next part of the tour and the thought made me feel a little empty inside. Where would that leave us; our friendship? I pushed the negative aside. I didn't want to ruin a perfectly lovely night with what ifs.

"Where's your next stop, Edward? On the tour that is." My words brought about some type of contemplation crossing his face.

"Ah, we are in Portland for a week. Four concerts and then it's home for us to see my parents and have some well earnt rest. What about you? What are you up to for the next couple of weeks?"

"Actually in a few days time I have a month off work and am heading home myself, to help Angela with the final preparation for her wedding and the actual wedding itself. I haven't been back to see my dad for ages and this seems to be the perfect excuse to go and spend some time with him. I have been a very neglectful daughter I am afraid."

"Really? I can't believe that of you. You seem the type that makes sure everyone around them is happy. I am sure you've had good reason not to go back and visit more often."

"Thanks Edward but I really don't have much of an excuse except the need to avoid certain things," When he looked at me curiously I knew I was going to have to extend on that and I cursed myself. "My dad had….. has certain hopes for me that are in conflict with what I want. He loves me dearly but whenever I go to see him there is always this underlying tension that we are both not willing to speak about. It can sometimes get a little awkward and uncomfortable so I have been very adept at always finding excuses for not going back for any reasonable chunks of time. Angela's wedding has forced my hand. I need to be in Forks for her and if I didn't stay with dad he would be devastated."

Edward was in the process of sipping his wine when he suddenly choked on his mouthful and became very still. "What did you just say?" he asked me once he had stopped coughing.

I was confused. "That my dad would be devastated if I didn't stay with him."

"No, no. Where exactly are you from Bella?" a grin was forming across his face and I couldn't see what the reason for it was.

"Forks – a little town about 3-4 hours away from here. That is not exactly where I am from though…. but that's where I am heading. I only lived there for a few years later in high school, when my mum moved to Phoenix and I went to stay with dad. Hey, why are you laughing?"

Edward had his head tossed back and was chortling loudly. So much for him not wanting to draw attention towards himself. I remained silent waiting for him to tell me what was so funny.

"Oh Bella this is just beautiful. I have been sitting here trying to work out the best way to get to see you over the next few weeks, contemplating driving up here once the tour has finished and thinking of all the reasons it just wouldn't work but knowing I would just have to try anyway and then you hit me with this. And to think I had been wasting time over the past couple of weeks trying to find ways of staying away from you when in actual fact, fate had already decided it was going to throw us together eventually anyway. It is just way too funny."

I reached out to gently lay my hand on Edward's hand to calm him down and he jumped slightly in response but the smile never left his face. "Edward, you have lost me. What are you raving about?"

Edward turned his hand so it was palm up and my hand was now sitting inside his. As he wrapped his fingers around mine and squeezed I tried to concentrate on what he was trying to tell me instead of the feel of his skin on mine.

"My home, Bella, is in Forks. You and I are heading the same way."

"What? No way. I would have met you before. We would have gone to school together. I would never have missed you," I knew it was me raving now but I couldn't help it. Edward could not be from the same town as I was. "Impossible." I stated one final time.

"I am serious. Mum and dad brought a property there just over a year ago when dad decided he wanted a change from big city hospitals and a small town seemed like a haven of sorts to them. It's like a retreat from the world for all of us. It's peaceful and we look forward to the very limited attention we get there."

I was flabbergasted, not only because I had just realized that I would be seeing Edward way quicker than I had anticipated but because he thought Forks was a haven. "We are talking about the same Forks aren't we? The Forks I know would be all over you guys living in their midst. I only had to sneeze while I was there and everyone knew when and where it had happened. You can't believe you're going to get any peace there."

"Maybe to them their own chief's daughter was bigger news than a bunch of city band kids who waltzed in and out at irregular intervals. Besides I have a feeling that they are keen to keep my father in town so maybe they are protective towards us for that purpose. Whatever the reason it's kind of an unwritten rule that when we are there it is our rest time and they basically leave us to ourselves. I am sure there are all kinds of stories going around about us but we've never had trouble with media or anything there."

"Wow. I know I have been out of touch with the town of Forks in a way but for me not to know that is really, really bad."

"Maybe Forks is full of people just like you who have no taste and don't know about bands and their music." I was taken aback for a moment until I realized he was teasing me again. I was pretty sure that Edward was happy that I was not a fan before I met him – I definitely was now though.

"So I am having dinner with Charlie Swan's daughter then. He is a pretty decent guy you know." Edward stated matter of factly.

"You know him?"

"Aha. Actually I think he probably is another reason why we don't get hassled in town while we are there. Dad and he have become friends I believe."

"Again, how can I not know any of this?"

"Don't beat yourself up over it Bella. Let's just concentrate on the unbelievable coincidence that we will be able to continue this friendship in a relatively normal setting once we are in Forks. That has to be good right?"

I had to agree that the prospect of seeing Edward again in Forks was making me feel a range of very distinct emotions – relief, excitement, trepidation, hopefulness and pleasure. Yes, it was very good and I told Edward so, as he continued to beam at me with joy. Was I really worth this amount of happiness on his part? For tonight, at least, I was going to allow myself to think so.

The restaurant emptied of customers but neither Edward nor I made any effort to move, even though we had finished our meal. It was almost like we had made a silent agreement that we didn't want to finish the night and as soon as we left the restaurant we knew we would have to. When Georgie finally came over with our bill and let us know that they were about to close up we thanked her and stood reluctantly to leave. Edward paid, much to my consternation but he was insistent and I was in too much of a good mood to argue about it. Edward offered me his hand and I placed my own in his as we walked out into the fresh air. We strolled to the car in relative silence both caught up in our own thoughts. I had no idea what he was thinking but I was starting to feel the sadness that the night was at its end and that tomorrow Edward and his family would be leaving. We arrived at the car and Edward leant against the passenger door so that we were facing one another without allowing my hand to leave his. He was looking at me intently and I could feel my cheeks redden in response. His free hand came up to brush lightly against my cheek where I imagined the heat of embarrassment was coming from.

"Tonight was amazing Bella. You are amazing," He was still grazing my face with his fingers and all I could think about was his mouth; his tempting, sensual mouth and what it would taste like if I could just lean that little bit closer and let myself do what I had wanted to all night. I knew I wouldn't have the guts to do that though so I stayed still and let him continue his exploration of my face with his hand, closing my eyes against the immense feeling that it was bringing up in me. When he dropped his hand and I could no longer feel the warmth of his fingers I wanted to demand that he keep going. He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly while I opened my eyes to look at him again.

"Bella I better get you home. I have kept you out late enough," He sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that and I had to smile to myself as I agreed. He pushed himself away from the car and opened the door, making sure I was comfortable before heading around to his own side.

We spoke of inconsequential things as he drove the short distance back to my apartment. The whole time I studied his profile and made sure I had every part of it engrained into my brain. We walked up the stairs quietly and turned to face one another.

"I had a really lovely time tonight Edward. Thanks so much for inviting me."

"I enjoyed it too Bella. It was nice to learn more about you; to spend time together."

Edward stepped closer to me and my heart began to race in anticipation.

"Bella, can you promise me something?" His eyes were serious as he lifted my chin gently to monitor my face.

"Sure, if I can," I stuttered.

"Please stay safe while I am gone. No wandering into dark alleys and the likes. Please be careful," His voice sounded almost pained.

I nodded my acquiescence because I couldn't find any words. His concern for me was heart warming but more than anything I was taking note of how close his lips were to mine and how I was willing them to close the distance and actually be on them.

"Thank you." He breathed and I felt the coolness of it before his lips were on mine in the most gentle touch imaginable. It was pure bliss and it lasted nowhere near long enough because he was pulling away before I could respond the way I wanted to; the way I needed to. The hand that had been cupping my chin, now came up so that the fingers replaced his lips and he looked at me in wonder. His hands fell to his side and I noticed that they were clenched just a bit too much. "I really have to go. God knows I don't want to but …… I promise I will see you tomorrow before we leave. Is that ok?"

I don't know how I managed to keep my voice reasonably steady as I answered him because I was feeling far from in control at this particular moment in time. "Perfectly and thanks again for a beautiful dinner."

The grin I adored so much came out. "Sweet Dreams Bella. Until tomorrow…"

I softly closed the door, so that I could no longer watch him moving down the stairs, and leant up against the inside of it. Without a doubt I had just experienced the best date of my life and I wondered how I had ever got so lucky. Edward was perfection and I wanted more of him. Hopefully my luck would not run out because I was enthralled. If there had been doubt before, there no longer was after tonight. I was in love with Edward Cullen and even though I knew he was way too good for me, I wanted him to be mine.


	15. Chapter 15: Goodbye Seattle

Chapter 15

EPOV – Goodbye Seattle

Stretching languidly I waited for myself to wake up fully and take in the surroundings of my room for the last time. This hotel had been fantastic for so many reasons, but most of all because it had introduced me to Bella. As the thought of Bella came to mind I stirred appreciatively and grinned. Last night had been wonderful. I had obtained so much information about her and had to admit that there was not anything that I did not like. She allowed me to be myself and showed that she was interested in the small things about me, not the things that everyone else delved into on a day to day basis.

Bella was astonishingly beautiful to me. She had shown herself to be smart, well read, humorous, thoughtful and basically adorable. Not once did I sense any type of falseness about her. Bella was who she was, and she made me want to be the best I could be to match that. Any other feelings I had had for anyone of the female persuasion paled into insignificance when compared with the interest and attraction I felt for her. It was hard for me to accept that I was so strongly drawn to her after such a short amount of time but I couldn't deny how I felt; Jasper was right I just needed to go with the flow and build a relationship with her; I was more than willing to take my time with that.

So when we had left the restaurant and Bella had looked up at me through those long, dark lashes and had turned the rosy pink I enjoyed so much I had nearly destroyed any chance I had of going slow with this whole thing. Her deep, brown eyes had reflected the same need I had within me and I had to fight the urge to grab her and take the kiss she had very nearly offered me. I had inhaled and exhaled deeply to rid myself of that need and it worked enough to get my sense back in order so that I could do the right thing and take her home. When we said our goodbyes and I had allowed myself to place my lips as gently as possible against hers I knew I was lost. It had been such a modest kiss and yet there was nothing restrained in my reaction to the jolt of currency that went through me. I had had to remove myself from her presence as quickly as possible so that I would be able to leave her side at all. God only knew what would happen if I ever got to kiss her the way I wanted and the way she deserved. I needed to ready myself for that one.

The night's sleep was the best I had had in a long time. I knew it was because I was content. I had gone to sleep with the memory of Bella's face in my mind and although I couldn't remember any, I was sure that the dreams I had were of her. Now I needed to get up and get myself ready for a busy day of packing up and traveling to Portland. I needed to find room for Bella within that and also for my family who, no doubt, were waiting for a play by play retelling of our date. Ha. Bella was going to come first so I text her, hoping it wasn't too early.

_Edw: How do you feel about brunch with Cullen Alliance?_

I forced my self out of the comfort of my bed and began searching for what I would wear today. A couple of minutes passed before I heard the beeping of my phone. I grabbed it quickly and noted with satisfaction the answer.

_Bella: Sounds great to me. What time? Have to work at 12.30pm._

_Edw: About 10. Come to our suite. You know where that is, don't you?_

_Bella: Very funny! See you then._

With that out of the way I showered and dressed in record time so that I could have most of my packing done before Bella got here. I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. I headed out to the loungeroom to let the others know what I had organized.

"So, how did it go? Did she enjoy herself? Did you enjoy yourself? What's going to come next?" Alice started in on me as soon as I entered the room.

"Hey slow down, sis. I would have thought with your gift of knowing things, that you would have all the answers you are seeking already," I teased her and she pouted back at me petulantly.

"You know very well that I don't choose what I see, which is very frustrating because if I did I would have been all over that date to make sure you didn't screw it up in any way,"

"Ha. Well I guess I can be thankful for small mercies." I tugged on her hair as I passed and made my way to a chair. "The date went very well I think. She seemed to enjoy herself and I certainly did, so all was good." I was pretty sure that I still had a goofy grin on my face like some adolescent school kid with their first crush. Oh well who cared. It had been a long time in the waiting for me.

"What's next? Hmmm well, brunch actually,"

Emmett slapped me on the back. "You got her to stay on the first date Eddie, way to go. When is she joining us? A bit of a sleeping beauty hey?" He was peering towards the room I had exited as if he was going to see a sleeping form in there. Was he kidding me? I stared at him in disbelief.

"I invited her over for brunch with all of us actually, although I am reconsidering the option of having you there," I snarled.

Rose was looking at her partner in exasperation. "Emmett. Sometimes I wonder what goes through that juvenile head of yours. How old are you? Seventeen or twenty three? Edward's not going to jump some girl's bones the first opportunity he gets. Just because you have sex on the brain 24 / 7 doesn't mean everyone is like you. God. What made me fall for you in the first place?"

Emmett looked gobsmacked and then regained his composure. "My charm, I guess and, of course, my infinite prowess in the bedroom," He laid a kiss on the top of her head as he dashed from the room before she could continue attacking him. "So I guess we will see you at brunch then Eddie boy." He called over his shoulder cheekily.

Everyone watched him leave with resigned looks on their faces. We all accepted Emmett for who he was and it was apparent to us that it was going to take a lot longer for him to mature beyond his teenage years, but sometimes he really was too much. It was like he was contained in some type of time warp.

"So… spill," Alice demanded enthusiastically.

"Ok, ok but not now. We have plenty of time for that once we are in Portland. I need to organize some food for brunch and finish packing so I can spend some time with her before we go." She looked disappointed so I thought I would give her one tiny tidbit that I knew she would love. "and by the way Bella is going to be in Forks."

Alice squealed while Rosalie rolled her eyes. Jasper watched the whole thing being played out serenely.

"You asked her to come to Forks with us. That is so… so… I don't know what that is." It was the first time I had seen Alice lost for words.

"Nope. I didn't ask her; she was already going there. Get this guys. The lovely Bella is none other than Charlie Swan's daughter. She is going home to see her dad."

We laughed at the improbability of the whole scenario and Alice was intent on assuming that fate had somehow stepped in. I had to kind of agree with her. Things were definitely looking up, but there was still one thing I needed to cover.

"Jasper, can we talk," Alice took that as her cue to make herself scarce and Rose stood up and followed suit.

"Edward. I am already packed and ready to go so why don't I organize something for our visitor," I was happy to allow Alice to do so, even though I warned her not to be too extravagant in what she conjured up. Her only response was to laugh at me.

"Sounds like everything is going your way, Edward. I am really happy for you. You do deserve it you know," Jasper spoke quietly and intently.

"Yes, it actually feels really good but that is what I wanted to talk to you about. Everything is going too well and I am a little frightened that I am tempting fate if I don't acknowledge there is still a threat out there; one that is trying to get at me. I am pretty sure that James has not been around but I can't be one hundred percent sure," I frowned at Jasper as I registered his tension as soon as I mentioned James. I fully understood his discord. "I need to make sure that Bella is safe while we are in Portland. Once we are all in Forks I will rest easier, but in the interim I need to do something to assure it. I am nervous enough with our girls and we are always with them, or security is. I can't leave Bella alone to fend for herself in case he has registered her importance in my life – he will target her for sure."

"Fair enough. I could organize someone from the security team to stay behind and monitor her if that will make you feel better," I knew Jasper would be right onto what was needed. He was the one we relied on if something had to be done with security. I believed he would be an amazing leader in the defense forces if he ever felt inclined that way.

"Can you make sure that the person is as unobtrusive as possible, Jasper? I don't want her to even know they are there. I have a feeling it would just make her nervous and worried when in all probability James doesn't know about her yet."

He nodded but looked a little worried, as if he wasn't entirely sure that was the right way to go. "Done"

"I knew I could count on you Jazz,"

"Don't you know it. Always." Jasper was already heading out the door. "See you for brunch. Can you let Alice know I will be back soon. Am looking forward to another chat with Bella. It looks like we will be seeing more of her."

"That's the plan Jazz. I am hoping we will be seeing a whole lot more of Bella Swan."

The probability of Alice not going overboard with any kind of hostess opportunity was next to nil so I shouldn't have even wasted my breath asking her not to do something extravagant. By the time I had finished packing and had returned to the main room, Alice had a virtual feast spread across the table and Emmett was already hovering like a seagull waiting for permission to dig in. I didn't get an opportunity to berate Alice, or even more importantly thank her, because there was a knock at the door and I knew that Bella was about to enter our world once again. I glared at Emmett. "Behave," and he answered me by tracing a cross across his chest and holding his hand up in a scout's salute. Ha – I bet he had never been a scout in his life.

When I opened the door to a radiant Bella I knew we were doing the right thing in pursuing this relationship. Her happiness at seeing me set off an answering response in me and I leant down to kiss her swiftly on the cheek.

"Welcome to our soon to be no more home Bella," I swept my arms towards the room and followed her as she walked gingerly in.

Emmett was the first to get to her. "Hey Bella. Glad you are here. I am starving." Bella laughed up into his face as he gave her a quick bear hug. I watched her face for any sign of discomfort at Emmett's forwardness but there was none, so I relaxed. Bella didn't seem to mind Emmett's physicality.

Alice was next in line. "Hi Bella. I hope you are hungry because we've organised quite a bit of food here,"

She motioned towards the food on the table and Bella's eyes widened. Bella didn't get a chance to respond because Alice was hugging her in welcome too. Ok, so now Bella had endured the tactile part of my family – Rosalie and Jasper would not be so forthcoming with the need to touch her.

"Wow you smell good Bella," Alice complimented as she stepped away and moved to Jasper's side, intertwining her arm with his. "What is that?"

"Um. Lavender and Freesia. Nothing special really," Oh that blush was never going to get old for me. It made her all the more fascinating and alluring.

Jasper was speaking and I brought my attention back to the conversation at hand. "Can I get you something to drink Bella? Alice has organised some juices, or if you would prefer it we have coffee?"

Rose had come over and added her own greeting and from then on in we were involved in the consumption of food and the comfortable conversation that I had witnessed the first time Bella had joined our family. Everyone was in a jovial mood and again I sat consumed in my own contentment. Bella leant over to me and whispered "You look very relaxed and happy Edward,"

My eyes met her and I smiled at her, laughing inwardly when I noticed how her eyes became dazed for split seconds when I did so. My smile had that effect on her? Perfect. "I am, Bella. I am more than happy that you are here and that you get on with my family. They are important to me."

"I can see that," she responded and then took a glass of juice to stand by the window. I followed her.

"This place is amazing Edward. Everything is so luxurious and the views are wonderful,"

"You've never been in here before?"

"Nope. Never had a reason to be anywhere near this room, Edward. It is not part of my job at the hotel. It is beautiful though." She sighed quietly. "It must be pretty extraordinary to live like this. I can't even begin to imagine."

I turned and tried to look at the room as if through her eyes. It must really feel bizarre for her to see the way we lived on a day to day basis; the beauty we could surround ourselves with, without even thinking about it. I was used to living in luxury. Even before we had become famous my family had never wanted for anything because we had plenty of money but along with that, Carlisle and Esme had ensured we knew that money wasn't everything. There was more to life. I felt a bit sad that Bella hadn't had the same opportunities as I had had growing up but when I allowed my eyes to rest on her again I took that back. Bella was an independent, well adjusted, happy person who hadn't needed wealth to make her the person she was. Besides, I was hoping that eventually she would allow me to share this aspect of our lives with her more fully.

"We have been very lucky to be able to enjoy these kinds of surroundings but sometimes it is a bit like a prison - a luxurious prison, but one nonetheless. I prefer our home – it is much more comfortable,"

She was watching my face with interest and then a touch of sympathy. "I guess it would feel like that. I am not so sure how you do it; how you sustain that lifestyle."

"That's what breaks are for and this time going home has a whole new meaning because I know you will be there too." I hoped that she did not think I was coming on too strong with those kinds of words. I needn't have worried.

" Aha, I am looking forward to Forks with you there too." Her words made me feel a surge joy because she was letting me know she felt the same way. The others came over to join us and we all passed the time away discussing what Forks had to offer once we were there. The overall consensus for everyone, except Bella, was freedom. She believed that her freedom was limited there for a number of reasons but she didn't go into it and I left it for another discussion, at another time.

Soon porters were arriving at our room to start the process of moving all our belongings downstairs for checkout. I realised that our time with Bella was coming to an end and had to keep reassuring myself that it was only for a week and there was nothing to worry about. As the six of us watched case after case being loaded onto trolleys Bella stepped closer to me and placed her small hand into mine as if she too needed reassurance. I gave it the only way I could with so many people around us; I squeezed her hand and then started to move my thumb back and forth over the back of her hand so that no one else would notice our interaction. Bella shuddered slightly with that touch and I knew she was feeling the same electricity I was. She was getting harder and harder to resist.

"Guys I am going to walk Bella downstairs to go to work," Besides Rosalie, everyone crowded around Bella to say their goodbyes, assuring her that they would see her in Forks. She looked a little overwhelmed so I helped her escape with a hand on her back and we headed towards the elevator.

"Are you ok?" I questioned as we stepped into the lift and stood a decent distance away from one another. I was aching to be as close as possible to her but didn't want to place her in a position where rumours would be flying around her workplace about our proximity. She seemed to understand without any words being said.

"I'm fine Edward. I am just a little overwhelmed that you all seem to like me when I am really no one special. They all made me feel so welcome and comfortable. It feels a little surreal."

She had no idea how people saw her; that she was something special that people wanted to get more of. Even her workmates had spoken of her with warmth and admiration that she did not seem aware of.

"Bella, they like you because you are great. We are often surrounded by fakeness; you are so far from that and it warrants them liking you,"

"None of you seem fake," she was attempting to move the subject away from herself, I could tell.

"Well, I think that is the coolest compliment you could give, Bella. We try really hard not to be but sometimes it is hard. Mum and dad wouldn't accept it if we tried to big note ourselves. I don't think they'd let us back into their house actually," I laughed.

We arrived at the right floor and headed towards the office she was working in today. I noticed Matt was at the bar and waved at him in a friendly manner when he saw Bella and I head his way.

"Leaving today, Edward? Good luck with the rest of your tour. It was nice meeting you," Matt was pleasant as always. "and hey, thanks for saving our girl here the other night. We all owe you."

When we got into the office I immediately placed my scrutiny on Bella. Matt had just reminded me that I had to think beyond the happiness I was feeling about knowing Bella.

"Remember your promise Bella. You will be careful, won't you?"

"Of course I will Edward. I have an aversion to danger you know. I don't go looking for it," Bella was smiling at me but I had suddenly become tense. I was placing her in danger just by being with me; she didn't need to go looking for it; chances were that it would find her. She became aware of my tension and instantly looked contrite. "I am sorry Edward, did I do something wrong? You needn't feel responsible for me, you know. I want you to be happy that we're friends, not stressed about it." She was searching my face for something and I must not have given it to her. "Edward, we will still be friends after today won't we? You haven't changed your mind?"

Those words startled me. I had inadvertently made her doubt herself because of my own questions. I pushed myself up from the side of the desk where I had placed myself and took both of Bella's hands in my own.

"Bella, there is no way in this world I am ever letting go of your friendship, now that I know you. I promise. I will see you in Forks and we will keep getting to know one another there. Nothing is going to change that,"

"Ok. It's just that you seem so distant all of a sudden and well I couldn't really blame you if you thought it was all too hard. I don't want to become a problem for you."

I tugged at her hands so that she was moving closer towards me and I soon had her in a hug that sent every nerve ending in my body tingling with promise. She relaxed into me and placed her head in the groove between my neck and my shoulder. I could feel her breath against the side of my neck and it felt nothing but good. "You are not a problem to me, Bella. I was just allowing my own insecurities about safety cloud my mind for a minute. Everything is going to be ok, you will see." I kissed the top of her head and took in the aroma of her shampoo as I did so. She sighed.

"You are going to leave now, aren't you," she stated the fact with a small catch to her voice.

"'fraid so. You need to get ready for work but I will text you and let you know what's going on every day. You will be sick of me by the time I get to Forks. I might find you hiding from me once we get there." I tried to lighten the mood with my joking.

"Hmm, probably. I have some good hiding spots in Forks you know. You'd never find me."

We stepped away from one another and grinned. "So I guess I will see you in Forks, Miss Swan,"

"I guess that is the truth Mr Cullen," she answered "and Edward, you know what you said before about me keeping safe. I will, but it needs to work both ways. You stay safe too. Promise?"

"Absolutely," I agreed as I went through the door leaving her behind in the office. I popped my head around one last time. "because I have something to look forward to now Bella. See you at home."

Home and Bella; I trudged back upstairs and found that I was already counting down the days and hours until that happened.


	16. Chapter 16: Absences

Chapter 16

BPOV – Absences

Forks was never changing. As we drove through the main street of town I couldn't help but notice that all was exactly as it had been in my high school days. The same stores, the same people, the same logging trucks; Forks was sedate and at ease with itself. Maybe that was what Edward had meant when he said they enjoyed the peace here. I smiled when I thought of him. Forks might not have changed but my feelings for it most definitely were about to, with the introduction of Edward into its mix. Only four days left to wait. The waiting was agony.

"So are we ready for this, Angela, Ben?" I asked to distract myself from thoughts of Edward. "Four weeks until the big day, bucks parties, hens nights, kitchen teas, fittings, mums doing what they do best – nag,"

"You're painting a pretty picture for us there Bella. Thanks for that." Angela grimaced as she turned in her seat so she could address me where I sat in the back. "Maybe I didn't think this through properly. A month is a long time to be staying with the oldies, isn't it? I don't know why I had this need to be in Forks for so long during the lead up. I guess I just wanted to relive my childhood for a little while longer before I embark on this new phase of my life – marriage. Oh my goodness Ben we are going to be married in a month's time."

Ben took Angela's hand and raised it to his lips. "And it will be perfect Angela, I promise," I turned away from their intimate moment because it was reminding me of all these feelings I was finding so hard to control at the moment. I was glad when we pulled up outside Charlie's house; my house.

"Thanks for the lift guys. I will probably see you in a few days after we have all settled back into our old lives, hey."

I stopped on the pathway looking up at the house that had been my home many years ago, as Ben and Angela drove off. My red truck was sitting in the driveway waiting for my return. How I loved that truck, I thought fondly. It probably should be in a scrap metal place by now but I was glad that Charlie hadn't followed through on that threat. On the odd occasions when I did come home I enjoyed driving it around and often wished I could take it to Seattle with me. There was no way it would survive the city so I had to be content with my visits only.

The door opened and there was my dad. Good old dad; upstanding citizen of Forks, loving father, loyal friend and mad fisherman. I felt the love I had for my dad rise up as I watched him walk down the stairs to give me an awkward hug. "Hey Bells. Welcome home. It's been way too long." He picked up my bags and led me inside.

"Thanks dad. It's nice to be back in the old neighbourhood." We were heading up to my old room now and Charlie was making small talk about my friends looking forward to seeing me, what had been happening in town and how he was working this afternoon – he was sorry about that. I smiled at him to try and alleviate some of his nervousness about having me back here again. He was rambling and dad was usually a man of few words.

"Dad, relax. I am an adult now. I can look after myself. You can just go ahead with what you normally do and not worry about me."

"I always worry about you Bella. That is what fathers are for, although I must admit you were always able to look after yourself" His mouth curved up into a half smile.

"Aha," I nodded as I looked around my old room. It felt odd to be back in this place where so much and so little had happened in the years gone by.

"Billy and Jacob are coming over tonight to see you," I glanced up to see Charlie looking at me warily. Well that had to be a record; we had already come to the bone of contention between us and I had been home for, what, ten minutes? I sighed, determined not to bite. Charlie's need to throw Jacob and I together was not unusual, so I wasn't surprised, but I knew that this visit things were going to come to a head because things were different this time. I had Edward to think about now. Charlie was going to have to realize I had moved on from the possibility of Jake. In all honesty, I had done that years ago. It was dad who found that difficult to accept, not me.

"Hmmm. Sounds good. Looking forward to seeing them,"

"You are?" I saw the hope leap in his eyes and swore silently.

"Of course dad. Jake and I are friends. We always enjoy each others company," I spoke calmly to him so that there would be no tension between us. I wasn't lying. Besides Angela and Ben, Jacob was my closest friend in the world and we saw each other at infrequent intervals. Jacob had visited me about 5 weeks ago in Seattle and we had had a lovely time.

Charlie stared at me silently and decided not to keep delving into the topic; something I was thankful for. "Ok then I better get going and leave you to your unpacking. I'll see you tonight for dinner."

I agreed and I was finally on my own. I allowed myself to fall backwards onto my bed; it seemed so small in comparison to my bed in Seattle but that wasn't something that worried me too much. I reached for my mobile and typed in a message.

_Bella: I've arrived in Forks safely. Hope you are having a good day_

I pressed the send button and then began to move around the room to unpack all of my belongings. When the phone rang I was surprised; I had been expecting the beep of a returned message, not for him to be ringing me. Edward had made it a night time ritual to ring me before I settled into sleep. During the day I usually just got texts.

"Hi Edward," I breathed after checking the Id caller.

"You've made it then, Bella. How is Forks treating you?" Edward seemed so far away.

"Fine. What do I owe the pleasure of this call Edward?"

"What do you mean? Would you prefer I didn't ring," Edward sounded uncertain.

"Of course I like you ringing me Edward. It's just that you normally only ring me at night,"

"Oh, I guess that's true, isn't it. I think I will need to reassess that. The truth is I wanted to hear your voice and when I heard you were in Forks it made me feel like I needed it more. Sorry,"

I told him not to apologise and we spoke for about fifteen minutes longer about what he had been up to and how my drive was to get to Forks. The ease in which we spoke to one another always pleased me. I had to admit to myself that I had been concerned that when he was away from me he would find reasons not to want to stay friends. It had been far from that. The texts and phonecalls made me realize that he had every intention of staying in touch. Alice had also been sending me texts and emails to let me know what they were all up to. The concerts were going well and they were all looking forward to coming home for a rest. For some mysterious reason I had become important to them and it made me smile.

When the phonecall finished I completed my unpacking and had a quick shower to change out of my travelling clothes. Once ready I made my way downstairs to check out what Charlie had in the fridge so that I could make sure there was something for us all to eat tonight. Just as I had suspected Charlie did not have the fridge very well stocked at all. I grabbed the keys to my truck and headed to the supermarket. Charlie really needed a woman around to help him out with the domestic side of living. I had no idea how he survived; well actually yes I did – it was called the diner.

The afternoon passed quickly with all the little chores I set myself in order to get Charlie's house looking reasonably back in order. Noting with satisfaction that I had finished with plenty of time to spare, I grabbed a blanket and a book and headed out to the lawn near the woods to read, in the last light of the afternoon. This was what I was looking forward to about being home; I had four weeks of no work, no assignments and time for me to just relax. What better way than with a book?

The book held my attention only for a short amount of time and I finally gave up, after reading the same sentence four times and realizing I still hadn't comprehended what it said. I placed the book on my chest and closed my eyes to allow myself to daydream the way I wanted to. It was only days away from me seeing Edward again and I wanted to think about him and how he made me feel. I sighed in contentment. I remembered his tenderness, his overprotective concern, the feel of his body when he held me and the very innocent kisses we had shared. All of it amounted to a very real ache in my chest with the need to see him. Patience; that's what I needed – patience.

I must have drifted off because I was in a place far removed from my backyard. Edward was smiling down at me and I had my arms around his neck. His emerald eyes held promise and I heard myself ask him to kiss me. I watched with anticipation as he lowered his head towards mine slowly and his lips lightly brushed against mine. It wasn't enough; I needed more so I pressed my lips against his more forcefully to deepen the kiss and it was perfect… and it was only a dream….. so…….

My eyes snapped open to find a face staring down at me with a cocky grin spread across it. I couldn't have moved quicker and I was facing him with fire in my eyes.

"Jeez, Jacob. What the hell are you doing kissing me?"

"You asked me too," His smile got even broader "and I must say I really enjoyed it. I'd forgotten how good your lips felt."

"No, I did NOT ask you to kiss me Jacob. I definitely did not ask YOU" My voice was reaching a dangerous level of fury. I looked around at the lengthening shadows as I tried to calm myself. I had been asleep for quite a long time it would appear.

"Ah, yes Belles you did. We just arrived and your dad asked me to come out to find you and you were lying there and when I got close you said "Kiss me" so I obliged. I only did what you asked."

"I didn't ask you to kiss me and I was asleep you moron. Don't ever do that again." I looked towards the house in a panic "and I swear to god Jake if my dad saw any of that little slip on your part, you will pay with your life and I am not even kidding about that."

I heaved myself off the ground as Jacob chortled. "So Charlie is still giving you a hard time about letting go of the best thing you'd ever had, is he? Maybe you should just give in. I am not that bad you know. We could be good together again," He threw his arm over my shoulder and I had to ignore my embarrassed impulse to shrug away from it. Jacob was behaving normally; it was me who was having the problem here.

"Come on Jake, give me a break. You're my best friend and if you want to stay that way I suggest you drop that taboo subject all together and keep your lips to yourself in future,"

My mobile phone chose that moment to buzz and I stopped to get it out of my pocket. "You go ahead and I'll meet you in a moment,"

Jacob raised his eyebrows and I saw something flash across his face before it was hidden from me again.

"Is that from the person you wanted to kiss you?" He asked casually.

"None of your business Jacob,"

"Hmmm I wonder how he would feel if he knew you had just kissed another man?" He was teasing me, I knew it, but it still hit a nerve.

"I didn't kiss anyone Jacob. You took advantage of me while I was asleep. A bit different I believe."

"Touchy, touchy Bella Swan. I'll see you inside."

Watching Jacob bound up the stairs made me feel guilty. Why did our relationship have to be so complicated. We were perfect as friends but there was always that added something there because of our childhood together; because of our family's expectations. I chose to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach and concentrate on the text message that had just come through.

_Edw: Thinking of you!_

I couldn't keep myself from beaming. He had been doing this for the past few days; sending me little messages that showed that he cared. The smile left my face, though, when I thought of what had happened just moments before. I had been thinking of him too but it had unintentionally led me to kissing someone else; someone that I had a history with. I wondered if he would still be so caring if he knew that.

_Bella: Ditto Edward. I wish you were here._

And that was completely the truth.

Minutes, hours and then days passed and every one of them brought Edward closer to Forks; closer to me. We had continued our constant communication and every night I went to bed with the sound of Edward's "Sweet dreams" echoing in my head. I had attempted to keep myself busy so that the time would go quicker, visiting past acquaintances and friends who still lived in the area or who had returned for their own holidays; cleaning dad's house so that it shone with a woman's touch; dealing with wedding arrangements with Angela or just reading favourite novels.

"Bella, are you ready?" Dad called up the stairs and I heard the impatience in his voice. I quickly grabbed my bag and ran down to meet him.

"Ready, let's go," I was on a natural high because today was the day when Edward and the others should be getting home. Charlie looked at me with an odd expression on his face.

"I have never seen you so enthusiastic about having lunch at the diner before Belles. Wouldn't have anything to do with seeing Jacob again would it. You two seemed to be getting on really well a few nights ago."

"Dad, Jake and I always get on well. The other night was not anything out of the ordinary." I wondered if he heard the resigned tone of my voice. When was he going to give up on this dream of his? Why couldn't he see that Jacob was not necessarily the best thing for me or vice versa. "I am actually really happy because after lunch I am probably going to meet up with some friends of mine and I am looking forward to it."

"Oh, sure. I see." He was still mulling over my Jacob comment because he didn't even bother asking me who the friends were.

We rode to the diner in silence and once inside saw that Jacob, Billy and Sue Clearwater were already there saving us our seats. We fell into comfortable conversation after ordering and it seemed just like old times except that dad's best friend Harry Clearwater was not here. I thought sadly of how he had passed away during my first year at college. It must have been so hard for Sue to deal with the pain of losing her husband and the father of her two kids Seth and Leah. I watched as she spoke animatedly with my father and noticed how they seemed to be a lot closer than I had previously realized. They were laughing over some joke he had heard at work and Billy was smiling along with them. I glanced at Jacob who was smirking at my sudden understanding. I motioned with my eyes towards dad and Sue and he shrugged his shoulders so that it was barely discernible. I couldn't say that I was unhappy with the situation if something was actually going on. Sue was a great person and if them spending time together made them happy I was all for it.

I allowed myself to be lulled by the conversation going on around me and answered Jacob's questions about Angela's wedding and Ben's buck's night quite automatically. I was thinking about why I hadn't heard where Edward was at; was he nearly here?; and then I heard my father say something that made my ears prick up and take more notice of the discussion playing out.

"Carlisle's kids are coming back to town today. I saw him yesterday and he seems quite excited at the thought of having them home for a while. Have you kids heard of their band? Cullen Allstars or something like that,"

I choked on my coke and Jacob looked at both Charlie and I in amusement. "I am pretty sure they are called Cullen Alliance, Charlie and they are a great band. The lead singer Rosalie is hot," Jacob's eyes got a faraway look in them and I raised my eyebrows at him. "What," he said defensively before showing me his perfectly white teeth in a cheeky grin. "A boy can dream can't he?"

Charlie looked uncomfortable, even as I laughed. Dreams were all he had, for sure, because he stood no chance against Emmett when it came to winning Rosalie's affections. I wasn't about to tell him that though.

"Yes, well it should make for an interesting few weeks in town. I just hope this threat that Carlisle mentioned to me doesn't make itself known while they are here. It would be nice for them just to relax in relative obscurity rather than live with the hype – I guess that's an impossibility." Charlie sighed and I knew he was thinking of all of this from a police officer's view; the need to be on the lookout, the possibility of having to contend with any extra visitors in town who might be aware that they had arrived, and the likes.

I couldn't help myself; I had to ask. "What threat dad? Is it serious?"

"Carlisle didn't say too much except that someone had made a threat against his daughters to get at his son. They've had to tighten their security arrangements and he was upset that it would impact on them being free whilst at home. I guess I will know more this afternoon when I have a briefing with their head of security."

I felt fear clench at me with the thought that Edward was in danger; that someone out there wanted to hurt innocent Alice and Rosalie. No wonder Edward had been so extreme in his need to make sure I was safe; he was dealing with the same things within his own camp and now I had added to his worries. I had been so caught up in my own happiness of having his attention that I had not thought too much about what he had told me about there being a threat against them. How incredibly selfish of me.

"Belles are you ok?" Charlie interrupted my musings.

"What? Um sure. I was just thinking how awful it would be too live like that; with the constant worry."

"Yes, it would be hard but I guess it goes with the territory of their job. I am just glad you've chosen a future not in the limelight like that Bella. It would worry your mum, and I, silly if you had that kind of lifestyle."

My face reddened and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Luckily Charlie was distracted by something Billy said so he didn't notice that his words had affected me. The same couldn't be said for Jacob though. He was looking at me in confusion.

"What's going on Bella? Why the tomato face?" he was speaking low so that no one else could hear.

"Nothing. Just leave it ok?" I whispered back and he seemed to think about pushing further but I relaxed when he made the choice not to. We finished our lunch amongst further light hearted interactions but the whole time my stomach was churning with concerns; the safety of the Cullens, my dad's future reaction when he realized I had indeed involved myself in that type of lifestyle and above all else the need to know how Edward was going to respond to me when we finally saw each other again. It was hard to retain my composure when my stomach and brain were betraying me this way. I was happy when we finally got up to leave. I pulled my jacket on and we filed out of the restaurant; dad pushing Billy while Sue walked by his side and Jacob and I behind them. As always Jacob had his arm placed casually across my shoulders in friendly comradeship and we were laughing and shaking our heads at the stupid banter that Charlie and Billy were having between themselves. I was watching Jacob as I listened to his playful insults for his dad when he suddenly whistled and breathed "Nice car," I moved my gaze in the same direction as him and froze. The car wasn't what held my attention. It was the man beside it who was staring at me as if he wasn't sure it was me. Alice stood by his side smiling merrily and waving.

"Edward," I whispered and felt the elation course through me as I moved to head towards the two of them. Jacob tightened his hold on my shoulder and I looked at him in bewilderment. I shrugged out of his hold and gave him a 'mind your own business' glare.

"Oh no, Bella. Do not tell me you've got yourself involved with Edward Cullen," Jacob was incredulous, and if I allowed myself to think about it, just a little too hurt. I ignored him and continued my path towards the person I had been longing to see for the past week. As I neared him I realized that his expression had changed and he was now beaming with pleasure. In that instant, without even having to touch him or speak to him, I knew that Edward and I had moved beyond the pretense of a friendship. We had so much more than that and it was time to explore the possibilities.


	17. Chapter 17: Homecoming

Chapter 17

EPOV – Homecoming

How could one week seem so impossibly long? My days had dragged on even though we were constantly busy with the concerts, rehearsals and charity events. The brightest moments in every day were when Bella and I interacted; whether it be by text or phonecall. I realized I craved those moments of connection; the time where it was reinforced to me just how much I wanted Bella part of my life. This was no innocent friendship or highschool crush happening; Bella and I belonged together and I was ready to make that happen as soon as I got to Forks.

So the inexplicably long week had passed and now we were in Forks. I sent Bella a message to let her know that we had arrived; that we were going straight to our house to see our parents and then I could possibly meet up with her. I anticipated her answering message but it never came. That worried me. Bella was always so prompt in responding to my texts. Surely she hadn't got cold feet about me at this late stage of the game. In my mind I listed all the reasons why she was not answering me; flat battery, she was out busy, her phone had gone through the wash, anything that did not involve her suddenly having a change of mind about my presence in her life.

I tried to push all the negative thoughts to the back of my mind and concentrate on the welcome we all received from my parents. We had not seen them in a few months due to the busyness of all our lives and it was genuinely good to be home and back in their calming household. Esme, as always, was overwhelmed with the sheer happiness of having all her children back in her arms. Alice and I might be the only biological children but Rosalie and Jasper's integration into our family as teenagers had been deep and complete, and she loved them as if they were her own. The same could be said about Emmett. When a person was loved by one of her children Esme gave of herself, accordingly, in response to that. I did not know of a single person who had the capacity to love as passionately as my mother. We all tried as hard as possible to be worthy of that unconditional love – she didn't request that; we did it knowing it wasn't expected but completely appropriate. Esme was our gift in life – the perfect mother to love us and support us through every pleasurable or dark moment in our lives.

As for my father; Carlisle was yet another aspect of our lives that I would be forever thankful for. He was a genius in his chosen career as a doctor and had saved countless lives through both his research and his gift as a surgeon. As a family man he was loving, patient and non-judgmental. I aspired to be like him when it came time for me to be a father. If I was even half the man I would be happy.

The seven of us caught up quickly on all that been happening and then we went our separate ways to get settled into our rooms. There would be plenty of time for talking later. Walking into my own room was wonderful; to be surrounded by my own things, my own books, my own CD's, my own bed was comforting. There were only two places where I felt completely at ease and this was one of them. The other was the apartment I had brought in New York for myself two years ago. It was nice to be with family but sometimes it was even better to be on my own, in my own space. It had been the purpose of that purchase.

A light tap at my door put a stop to my considering thoughts and Alice poked her head in when I suggested to come in.

"Have you heard from Bella? I have sent her three messages and she hasn't answered any of them." She asked and I laughed. I had refrained from sending another text in case it looked too desperate. Alice obviously had no such qualms.

"Actually she hasn't responded to mine either,"

"Oh, that's a little strange. She must be busy or something. Hey mum just asked me to go down to collect a couple of things at the shops that she forgot for dinner. How do you feel about coming for a drive with me? We could get a feel for how the locals are going to respond to us this time."

I agreed because I thought it might help me in the wait for Bella's text. "Sure. I will drive,"

We grabbed my keys and headed down to the kitchen where mum was preparing a welcome home dinner for tonight.

"Hey mum, do you think it's possible to have an extra person for dinner tonight?"

She stopped what she was doing and looked at me quizzically. "Sure Edward. You know I always cook too much but who are you talking about?"

Alice giggled and I shook my head at her. "I was hoping to ask Bella Swan over. I am not sure if she will be available but I just wanted to check in case she is."

Esme was grinning as if she had just won the lottery. "Bella Swan, as in Charlie Swan's daughter? How did that come about? We would absolutely love to meet her. Charlie has told us all about her. Oohhh. Edward is actually bringing a girl home. Wonderful, just wonderful"

Alice was now in full fits of laughter and I was embarrassed. "I don't think we need to make a big deal about that thanks mum. As for how we know her, it's a long story." Alice and mum were beaming at each other in happiness.

"She's lovely mum. You will really like her," Alice assured and I pulled her away so we could head into town without any further inquisitive questioning taking place.

When we pulled up outside the shop we needed, I scanned our surroundings and noticed that life was still plodding along at its usual leisurely pace in this town. It was so far removed from the fast paced action of our tour and constant busyness that I stopped to breath deeply with a contented sigh. Noone was taking any notice of us and if we weren't getting out of my silver Volvo we would blend in quite well with the town's happenings.

When the diner door opened and a man came out on a wheelchair I didn't pay much attention beyond curiosity of who it was. Then I saw that he was followed by four people, one being Charlie Swan; Bella's father. I found myself unable to move because behind him was Bella and she was laughing at something being said to her by a huge, russet skinned man who had his arms strewn across her shoulders as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. The image did not sit well with me. I felt a stab of something akin to jealousy and revolted against that. I had no right to feel jealous of a person who was obviously important to Bella. Alice had moved around the car and was standing next to me now.

"What? What is it?" she was all concern and because I didn't answer she just looked the way I was staring and stated happily. "Bella, cool."

It wasn't so cool. Bella was out with some guy who was way too close to her for my liking, she hadn't answered my text to let her know I was here and I was feeling emotions that I was not willing to accept – the need to crush someone just because they were lucky enough to have something that I wanted desperately.

In that instant Bella looked up and her eyes met my own confused ones. She did not falter at all and the relief that enveloped my body was intense when I saw the mixture of longing and elation on her face as she shrugged her way out from under his arm and made her way towards me. He might be important to her but for the moment she was showing that I was more so. I took delight in that knowledge and then watched with interest as the guy tried to stop her with words, to no avail. He followed her instead but she was way ahead by this time.

She grabbed Alice in a welcoming hug as she peered at me through her eyelashes. How I had missed those incredible eyes. Alice responded in her usual enthusiastic manner.

"Why didn't you let me know you were here? I have been waiting for ages for your call or text or something," She let go of Alice and moved towards me to repeat the performance. I wondered idly if I would be able to let go of her once she was in my arms but the thought was overcome with frustration when she had no sooner placed herself in my embrace, and my name was being screamed in adulation. I let go of her quickly but not before whispering "I missed you" into her ear and turned to face the oncoming teenagers who were squealing about seeing me. I placed a smile on my face and began signing autographs for the four girls who were now surrounding me. Bella had stepped aside and had a clearly bemused look on her face at what had just happened. Alice shrugged her shoulders at her and moved her further away from the admiring fans that I was automatically placating.

"Bella we did text you, several times actually. Check your phone." Bella pulled her attention away from the interaction taking place with the girls and myself and pulled her phone out of her bag.

"Nothing. See. I have been checking constantly," Bella held the phone up to Alice and Alice squinted at it.

"No wonder, Bella. Your box is filled. It's flashing. Delete some of your messages and you might get ours. Jeez, don't you ever clean out your inbox?"

Bella looked a little embarrassed. "Oops sorry. I am kind of renown for that. Hey Alice, I would like you to meet my friend Jacob," Bella had just seemed to remember where she was and that Jacob had made his way to her side. He held his hand out to her. "Nice to meet you Alice," He smiled and the jealousy reared its ugly head again for me. He was not an unattractive person and I hoped that Bella was not partial to that smile of his.

"Likewise," Alice spoke in her normal musical voice and they smiled at one another. I disentangled myself from the girl's once I had finished signing whatever they had thrust at me and went to join Bella, Alice and Jacob.

"Edward, this is Jacob. Jacob meet Edward." Bella was looking between the two of us. I thrust my hand out to shake his hand and it stayed in that position for just a touch too long before Bella glared at Jacob and he reached out to take it. He had my hand in an impossibly strong grip and I realized he was trying to intimidate me with his strength. Little did he know that I was used to Emmett and his constant need to display his strength, so I did not even flinch. "Hello Jacob,"

"So you are the famous Edward Cullen that all the girls go mad for, hey. Must be hard to choose just one when you have such a smorgasbord available,"

Bella gasped and gave Jacob a scathing look of reproach. "That was uncalled for Jacob. How dare you insult him like that,"

"What. I was only stating facts. You saw what just happened with those girls. He would have girls and women throwing themselves at him all the time," Jacob's tone was petulant and I realized then and there that he was going to do anything possible to convince her that I was not good for her. That she was better off with him. There was no doubt about it, Jacob Black was in love with Bella and he did not want to lose.

Alice's face had gone an awful shade of purple and her eyes were tiny slits of anger. I knew that I had to get her away before she erupted and attacked this Jacob fellow.

"I've never had trouble making choices Jacob and I have always been more than willing to fight for the things that I want, so there is no need for your concern. I am sure that Bella has taken note of your warning though." I looked at Bella and instantly felt sorry for her so I changed tack. " It was nice to meet a friend of Bella's, Jacob but Alice and I really have a few things to do so if you will excuse us."

Bella looked at me in panic and I belatedly recognised that she thought I was going to let Jacob come between us and that I was just going to walk away from her. There was no possible way.

"Bella, we were all wondering if you would like to have dinner with us, tonight? Esme is cooking a welcome home dinner and would be more than happy for you to join us," I spoke to Bella but found it difficult to ignore Jacob's low growl of frustration. Bella turned on him. "Jacob, maybe you could go and let my dad, and yours, know that I have been held up for a few minutes. They must be wondering why we have taken so long to catch up with them." Jacob looked like he was about to deny her the request but one more meaningful glance from her managed to convince him otherwise and he loped away without another word.

"He's a little possessive, isn't he," Alice muttered in anger.

"I am really sorry for his rude behavior. We've been friends for a long time and sometimes he is a little over the top with the big brother routine." Bella was watching me to see if I would accept her explanation. I decided I would for now. We were going to have to address his feelings for her at some point if we were going to have any type of relationship but it could definitely wait for another time.

I nodded and smiled at her to show that there wasn't a problem and she appeared relieved. "So what about my invitation, Bella? Are you willing to spend a night of wining and dining at our home? When we've finished in the shop we could take you with us."

The happiness and excitement came back into Bella's demeanor and I enjoyed the change in atmosphere. "I can not think of anything I would like to do more. Just give me a few minutes to go and let my dad know what my plans are for the night," she looked towards the four people who were standing next to the police landcruiser, trying to appear like they weren't watching us. She muttered under her breath "and then a few minutes more to murder my so called friend who has some explaining to do." For a very brief moment I felt sorry for Jacob; Bella was not happy at all.

Bella walked towards her father and Jacob and I made myself turn away from them all so I couldn't see their reactions. Alice and I entered the shop, got what we needed very quickly and headed back outside. I was surprised to see that Jacob and the other two unknown people had disappeared and Bella was now standing with her dad only. She looked a little anxious, her face tight with some unspoken tension. For the second time today her expression changed when she saw me and it was as if a shadow had been removed from her face as she lit up in happiness. Alice and I moved the short distance over to where the two of them were standing. I held my hand out to shake Charlie's. "Nice to see you again Chief Swan. I hope you don't mind Bella joining us for dinner tonight. Esme is preparing a special homecoming meal for us and is looking forward to meeting your daughter." I tried to keep my composure. It was important that Charlie Swan liked me and at the moment he was looking at me warily. He had always been polite to me before when our paths had crossed but I guess that was before I had shown an interest in his daughter. The smile Bella gave me did not quite reach her eyes and I wanted to reach out to her and give her some of my strength to make her feel better again.

Charlie's grip was firm as he placed his hand in mine and then in Alice's. "Glad to see you both back in town again. I know it will make your parents very happy to have you spend time here. Let them know that I send my regards. Have a good time Bella," Charlie was a man of few words and he looked like he wanted to be somewhere else right now. "You will make sure she gets home safely, won't you?" He stressed the word safely and I was all to aware that he was concerned with Bella being involved with us due to what he knew was happening in our lives. As chief of police here he would be in touch with our security people and would have a bit of an idea of what was going on. I couldn't say I blamed him for his reticence.

"You have my word Chief Swan." I hoped that he would understand just how much I meant that.

He nodded and got into his car before waving at us. Alice grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her towards my waiting car.

"I can not wait until my mum and dad meet you. They are going to adore you just like the rest of us," Alice began to rattle off all kinds of information for Bella about our family and what we had been up to. Bella was looking back at me in silent appeal as I followed them to the car. It all of a sudden occurred to me that I might have a difficult time getting Bella to myself tonight.

I needed to come up with a plan about that and quick.


	18. Chapter 18: Bringing Bella Home

Chapter 18

EPOV – Bringing Bella home

Alice gave Bella the front seat for our drive back to the house and I smiled in thanks. Bella's individual fragrance filled the car and it gave me a sense of ease that counteracted the tension I was feeling from our meeting with her friend Jacob. I was not going to think about him tonight. I finally had Bella close by me and I was looking forward to sharing my real life with her; my home and family. Something told me she was going to fit right in like a missing piece to a puzzle.

Bella looked a little nervous and I asked her if she was ok.

"I was just thinking that maybe I should have gone home first and changed or something. I am not exactly fresh for meeting your parents and having dinner,"

"You look lovely Bella," I answered and she blushed beautifully.

Alice however had a different way of reassuring her.

"It's no problem Bella. I am sure Edward will be showing you around this afternoon and then before dinner you can freshen up in my room. I have plenty of clothes that I've never worn that would just look the best on you." Bella's face showed her trepidation as Alice continued to babble on about what would look good on Bella and how a certain colour would look great with her eyes. I couldn't help myself; I reached out and placed my hand on her hand to let her know it would be ok and she jerked a little from the touch. I took my hand away and wondered if I had done the wrong thing, but knew I hadn't when Bella looked up at me with the most blindingly beautiful smile, that made me forget for a brief moment that I was driving and really should be watching the road rather than her.

I waved at security as we pulled into the long driveway that led to our house. Bella seemed to be taking in the surroundings but all of a sudden she was vocalizing her thoughts.

"Is there any place where you don't have security?"

" I guess not. It is pretty much a given that where we are, there will be some form of it. Forks is pretty good though. We usually don't have a problem here with fanatical people or anything and the locals leave us to our own devices most of the time. It's just a precaution to protect our privacy," and the girl's lives I added in my own head. Bella did not need to know that I feared James would find where we were and come after us in our own home. Bella was looking at me with a thoughtful expression on her face and I wondered what she was thinking, about this necessity of ours.

"Thailand," Alice proclaimed from the back seat of the car. "You forgot to mention Thailand. That is one place where we never need any security. It is heaven," Alice held longing in those last couple of words and I knew she was dreaming of being there right now. In the sunshine, on the beach, no one hassling us, the freedom.

Bella was looking at Alice with curiosity. "Thailand?"

"Aha. We have a little hideaway on an island in Thailand where there is no need for security and we can completely be ourselves without any of the recognition or security. It's a little patch of paradise." Alice was still dreamily contemplating the images in her head and I laughed. "You know Edward, it has been way too long; we really should make time to visit, in the not so distant future,"

I had pulled up outside our house and Bella was looking at us both with wonder in her eyes. "You have a hideaway on an island in Thailand? You're joking right?"

"Why would I joke about something like that?" Alice said seriously "Hey there is Jazz. I want to go and tell him my idea," She was immediately out of the car and running towards Jasper who was holding a notebook in one hand and his guitar in the other. He juggled the two items into one hand, as Alice flew towards him, so that he could take her in one arm and lay a kiss on her forehead.

"They really love each other, don't they," Bella spoke quietly as I helped her from the car.

"Sure do. Those two have loved each other for forever."

"As soon as I met them I knew they were perfect for one another," Bella shook her head in embarrassment after the words came out of her mouth, as if she had suddenly realized what she was saying.

"I guess sometimes it doesn't take much to know these things," I answered and knew I wasn't just talking about Jasper and Alice anymore. Bella's eyes met mine and she tipped her head slightly.

"True. Sometimes it just feels right."

It was Bella who broke through the intensity of the moment as we watched each other in question. She looked up at the house and exclaimed at its beauty. I followed her glance and knew she was right. The house was beautiful; all wood and glass. Esme had done an immaculate job of bringing about our family's character and putting it into the house when she had decorated. I knew Bella would love it once she got inside. When I looked back at Bella she was chewing her lower lip in apprehension.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"What if they don't like me?"

I laughed. Was she serious? From the look on her face she was, so I curbed my laughter and answered.

"They will love you Bella. You have nothing to worry about."

"But you're all so……so….perfect. Perfect home, perfect hideaways, perfect looks, perfect lives. I have nothing to offer here."

"No one's perfect Bella and you have everything to offer so don't doubt yourself. Just be yourself and they will love you. I promise." I was going to say more but we were interrupted by Jasper and Alice who were walking hand in hand towards us. I gave my attention to Jasper.

"So much for relaxing Jasper," I tilted my head toward the notebook and guitar "Been composing then?"

Jasper grinned at me. "You know how it is when something comes into your head and you just have to get it down onto paper before you lose it. Hi Bella. Welcome to our home. It's nice to see you again,"

Bella acknowledged Jaspers words with her own hello's and thank you and we started to move towards the door of the house. I noticed that Bella was still looking a little anxious so leant towards her and whispered into her ear. "It will be fine Bella. I am right here." She visibly relaxed with my words and I placed my hand on the small of her back to guide her up the stairs and into the house. I hoped that the small contact would put her more at ease.

The four of us headed straight for the kitchen where Esme had her back to us preparing whatever she was cooking for tonight's meal. She was humming softly to herself and Jasper and I grinned at one another when we realized it was one of Jasper's compositions. Alice went forward and placed the bag of groceries on the counter next to Esme. Esme did not halt what she was doing for even a second.

"Thanks sweetheart. Just give me a moment. How was town? How did the masses react to our famous duo,"

"Town was fine. Edward had to sign a few autographs but that was the extent of it. We did find a stray though and brought it home. Hope you don't mind?" Alice said cheerfully and watched with amusement as our mother froze and turned way too quickly dropping two eggs onto the floor.

"Look what you've made me do Alice." She complained and looked around in confusion wondering what to do first. Bella won out and she quickly wiped her hands on a towel and stepped over the broken egg, towards Bella who was standing timidly by my side.

I was trying to contain my mirth but held it together long enough to make the necessary introductions.

"Mum, this is Bella Swan. Bella I would like you to meet my very messy mother, Esme"

Esme flicked the tea towel in my direction playfully. "Such disrespect for your mother, Edward. You will get yours. It is a pleasure to meet you Bella. I am glad that you're here for dinner with us," Esme had grabbed Bella's hands in welcome.

"Thank you Mrs Cullen. It is lovely to meet you too,"

"Oh please call me Esme. Mrs Cullen is way too formal and there is nothing formal about this household. I am sure you will learn that soon enough." Esme and Bella were smiling at one another in understanding and I knew that Bella was going to fit in exactly the way I had promised her.

"Hmmmm Something smells good," My father came in through the back door and was instantly at my mother's side with a quick kiss and an arm around her waist. "Hello, you must be Bella. I'm Carlisle – the so called dad in this household. I've heard a lot about you from your father." He reached out his free hand and clasped Bella's in a gentle grip. "Esme told me you might be joining us for dinner. You are most welcome."

Emmett chose that moment to come into the kitchen making it seem like we were suddenly in grand central. He instantly had Bella in a huge bear hug and was twirling her around in happiness. "Hey Bells, so glad to see you. I didn't know you were coming for dinner. Cool."

Carlisle was looking at the interaction between Emmett and Bella with fascination. "Emmett, your enthusiasm for our guest is admirable son, but how about giving the poor girl a chance to breath. She only just got here. It would be kind of nice if she lasted the night."

"Oh, oops. Sorry Bella," Emmett placed Bella back down on the ground and Bella was trying to gain her composure again.

"No problems Emmett. It is great to see you too." Bella didn't seem to mind Emmett's over zealous approach to greeting her but a small part of me wished he wasn't so full on. I berated myself. Who was I kidding? I was just jealous that he felt so comfortable holding her when I was missing out on that.

"Ok everyone, out of my kitchen or we will have nothing to eat tonight. I can't possibly cook with you all in here distracting me. Out. Oh and Edward please make sure you are the perfect host and you take Bella around to show her everything. Make yourself at home Bella dear."

Alice stayed behind to help mum clean up the broken eggs and Emmett and Jasper went downstairs to watch some sport on television. This was easier than I thought. I had Bella to myself and I hadn't even had to scam to get it.

We moved through the house together, each room having some treasure in it that Bella was enthusiastically interested in. Sometimes it was family photos; sometimes it was a piece of art; or a piece of furniture; or the extensive library; the grand piano that had pride of place in our living room; everything about our home fascinated Bella and she wasn't feigning interest; she definitely was happy to get to know my family more fully and was enjoying the opportunity to do so.

"Wow look at this photo. You were so cute as a little boy Edward. How old were you here?"

"Six I think. Rose and Jasper were the same age and Alice was five."

Bella was searching the faces of every member of the photo. It was obvious who Carlisle and Esme were but there were two unfamiliar people in the photo alongside them. "I take it that these two are Jasper and Rosalie's real parents then. There is certainly a strong resemblance."

"Yes. They were my parent's closest friends but they lost touch for a while when dad took a medical posting overseas. When we were little the four of us used to be inseparable. It was hard when we had to leave them. Then when Jasper and Rosalie were twelve, their parents were killed in a car accident and they were left with no family. No-one contacted my parents otherwise things would have been a lot different. Rosalie and Jasper would never have had to deal with the things they did, if my parents had only known what was happening. There would have been no way Esme and Carlisle would have let them go from foster home to foster home. They would have lived with us right from the start. I guess you can't change things though. We were lucky when Jasper finally had enough and the two of them ran away with the express intention of finding our family. Jasper did well and the rest is history because mum and dad took them in the instant he found us."

"That's a pretty special thing to do,"

"No not really. They were our family all along – they just got lost for a little while." I wasn't going to go into the guilt my parents had about what had happened in the time that Rose and Jasper had been lost to us. Besides the fact that it wasn't pleasant, it was not my story to tell.

"You never told me how Alice and Jasper got together,"

"I really couldn't tell you when it happened, to be completely honest with you. They were always close as friends and then it just naturally became more than that. Everyone accepted it without question because they are so completely in tune with one another and were not overtly public in their approach to romance. They just were – that's all." I endeavored to explain but felt it fell short. "Although Jasper told me recently that he had known from the moment he set foot in our home to live with us, that he and Alice belonged together – that he loved her."

"That's very romantic. Love at first sight hey. Well, kind of anyway, if you don't include them knowing each other as children."

"Hmmmm. I guess so. So you are a romantic, are you Bella? "

"Guilty as charged. I love happy endings and the thought that love will conquer all. I can't imagine life without it," The embarrassment was there again. There was no need for it. I hoped for the same things.

"I think everyone has those dreams to some extent, Bella, it is nothing to be embarrassed about,"

We continued our tour and every time Bella exclaimed at something or asked questions to help her learn more about me I felt a powerful need to tell her how happy she was making me by just being here. I watched her as she pulled her hair back from her face to take a closer look at something or when she would reach out tentatively to touch something that she found particularly beautiful. I often felt my face crease up in smile after smile in response to her enthusiasm.

When we got to my room I stopped nervously at the door while Bella entered. My room was dedicated to my love for music with CD's covering an entire wall. On the other wall there was a range of books, many of them musical transcripts and sheet music. A small keyboard was placed on the desk next to my bed. She immediately moved to stand in front of my collection of CD's and gently took a few out as she watched me in sideway glances. Everything else was tidy and very unlived in, given that today had been our first day back.

"You have a huge collection of music Edward. It is really an important part of your life isn't it? I mean not just being part of the band, but music in general"

"It is," I answered softly from my place at the doorway. She turned to me in curiosity.

"Are you uncomfortable with me being in your room Edward? I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I am sorry," She started to move towards the doorway to escape what she thought she had done wrong and it spurred me into action so that I stepped into the room.

"No Bella. You aren't invading my privacy." I gulped with nervousness as she stopped her own actions.

"I'm enjoying seeing you here, getting to know me. It feels right,"

I recognised the truth of my own words. Bella standing in my room, exploring items that made me, me was fascinating and I believed exactly how it should be.

Bella's mouth moved in a wordless oh and then she seemed to steel herself as I got closer. I used the remote control to turn on my stereo system and play whatever happened to be in there at the moment. The song was a slow orchestral piece. Bella was still standing waiting for me to reach her. When I did, I took her hand and placed my other hand gently on her waist. I wanted to hold her and this seemed to be the safest way to do so.

"I can't dance Edward," Bella's voice was barely discernible but she was looking up at me with such trust that I couldn't help but bring her closer to me.

"Yes you can Bella. With the right partner," We moved together in time with the music, swaying comfortably while I felt her gradually relax into my hold. When the song stopped so did we, but I did not relinquish my hold and Bella seemed perfectly happy where she was. Her chocolate brown eyes were searching mine in a kind of awe.

"What is this Edward?" her voice held a combination of timidity and strength at the same time and I marveled at it. "What is this thing happening between us? It's something more than friendship, isn't it?"

She was looking at me with such sincerity and honesty that I felt like crushing her to me there and then to show her with my actions what I was feeling. I held myself together.

"I think so Bella. Well, at least I certainly hope so," The intensity of her gaze only deepened and she was about to answer me when the whirlwind that is my sister came barreling through the door, interrupting this very private moment.

"Ok Edward you've had Bella all afternoon, it's my turn now. We have to get ready for dinner and I have the perfect outfit ready for you Bella." Alice had grabbed Bella's elbow and pulled her out of my embrace and I looked at Alice in consternation. Surely she could have seen that we were in the middle of something?

As I looked on, Alice dragged a bewildered Bella from the room but Bella suddenly stopped and held herself against the pull so that she could look at me seriously and say clearly "So do I Edward," and then she was gone.

After those words I felt an elation that had everything to do with Bella and the promise of things to come. I made my way downstairs to find Emmett and Jasper, knowing that I would not see Bella again until dinner, now that she was in the clutches of my evil little sister. I found them, as I expected, lounging in the chairs watching the box. I threw myself into a chair and sighed.

"I thought your girlfriend actually wanted something to happen between Bella and I. You never would have known it from her actions just now." I felt annoyed and needed to get it off my chest.

Jasper looked at me in sympathy. "I distracted her for as long as I could Edward. She has been biting at the bit to get to Bella for the last half hour. I guess she is excited about having a new friend too and the possibility of making her over,"

"Yeh, well I hope she doesn't frighten Bella away with her pushiness. I don't see Bella as the type who enjoys being made up like a doll." And I had to admit that I liked the natural beauty that Bella exuded rather than the full painted palette that some women thought was attractive.

Emmett guffawed "Well you can always hope, Edward. Girls will be girls. They all want to make an impression. I am sure your Bella is no different." I wanted to retaliate by saying that not all girls were like Rosalie but thought better of it. Emmett didn't deserve me taking my frustration out on him with snakiness. I decided to concentrate on what had happened between Bella and I, in my room, rather than how uncomfortable she would be when she came down to join us for dinner.

Rosalie breezed in and sat herself on Emmett's lap. "Esme said to let you all know that dinner will be ready in about half an hour if any of you grots want to make yourself more presentable. She told me to remind you that we had a guest in the house and we should try to make a good impression,"

Jasper and I got up quickly to follow Esme's suggestion but Emmett didn't budge even though Rosalie had got up off his lap. "Are you coming Emmett?" Rosalie enquired as we headed out the door.

"Nah, I'm all good. Think I will wait here until dinner is ready. Bella likes me the way I am – I don't need any sprucing up." He grinned at us. Rosalie marched back to stand between him and the television and I watched in amazement as her whole demeanour changed and a pout became the key expression on her face.

"Oh that's a shame baby. I thought the two of us could get ready together, so to speak. You know, you could help me work out what to wear and vice versa." She began to play with her hair, twirling a piece of it around her finger and looking like she was thinking deeply about her disappointment. Was that actually going to work? "Oh well, I guess we can have some alone time together later." And then she swaggered her way across the room emphasizing the movement of her hips so that Emmett got a full eyeful of her attributes. Needless to say Emmett was up out of the chair in a blink of an eye and was following Rosalie like a love sick puppy. I heard Jasper laugh in appreciation.

"And that is how the art of manipulation works. They get us every time. Emmett, however, is particularly prone to it"

We both laughed as we headed upstairs to our own rooms. I had the quickest shower possible and changed into a casual pair of jeans and button up top. There was no need to get dressed up. I had just wanted to change out of the clothes that I had been wearing whilst traveling, but I also had to admit that I wanted to look good for Bella. Jasper came in asking if he could use my shower as Alice wasn't ready for him to be in their room yet. We spoke of all kinds of things through the bathroom door as we both readied ourselves for dinner but we never touched on the subject of Bella which I was glad of. I didn't feel like sharing the nervousness and anticipation I was enduring when it came to her. It was all too new and Jasper was all too aware of it without me having to verbalise it. He had an uncanny ability in that way.

Jasper and I left the room just as the door to Alice's room opened and Alice and Bella filed out. We came face to face with a slightly disgruntled Alice and a radiant looking Bella. I noted with satisfaction that, besides the clothes she was wearing, which I had to admit looked fantastic on her, that Alice had not been given the opportunity to fully utilize her ability to put a huge range of makeup on Bella. Bella looked as she should – naturally beautiful and I realized that I was more than a little surprised by that. Bella smiled up at me in happiness and I reflexively reached out my hand. She took it without thought and leaned into me slightly as she whispered. "I have a feeling I wasn't as malleable as she was hoping."

"You can say that again, Bella. I don't think it would have hurt you to have a touch more makeup on. You have great features; you should emphasise them and we could have put rollers in your hair to give it a bit of added pizzazz but no; you forced me to withhold my magic." Jasper was looking at Alice highly amused that for once someone had got the better of her when it came to getting her own way.

"I know, I know, Alice. I am a thorough disappointment to you. I do apologise but like I said, if ever I have a special event that I need a makeover for, I will make sure you get to use your magic appropriately. I promise."

Alice cheered up a little and gave Bella a cheeky grin. "You're only a small disappointment to me Bella. I am sure I will get over it as long as you keep your promise," Alice turned to me. "So, don't you have anything to say to Bella, Edward?"

"Um. You're not a disappointment to me; you look beautiful as usual. I like that you don't need a heap of makeup on." Bella's face lit up even more and I squeezed her hand to show I meant the words. She blushed of course.

"Great, just great. Thanks Edward. Now I am never going to get her to agree to let me do her up properly. Thanks heaps." Alice muttered as she grabbed Jaspers hand and started walking downstairs ready to partake in our mother's home made cooking. Jasper was chuckling as he let go of her hand and placed it around her waist.

"Are you sure you're not disappointed Edward? I just don't feel comfortable all made up to look like something I am not."

"Not even remotely Bella. You look beautiful just the way you are," How could I think anything else when her eyes sparkled with happiness at my words, her skin glowed from the pinkness of her cheeks and the fullness of her lips were begging me to kiss them? She was beautiful – there was nothing else needed. I leant in and briefly kissed her on those lips. Not enough, but now was not the time. "Are you ready to taste my mum's cooking?"

The glazed look left her eyes slowly and she smiled tentatively at me. "Sure am. Let's go." I kept her hand enveloped in my own and we entered the dining room together to be greeted with the noise associated with a family gathering. It had been way too long.

Dinner was a happy affair. It had been months since we had all been together in this way, eating mum's delicious cooking, sharing tales, drinking wine and beer, laughing over past memories; it was good for the soul and for once I, too, had someone important sitting next to me. Bella fitted right into the family in her usual receptive manner. She took part in conversations about all kinds of things from life in Forks to literature and politics. I could tell that my parents were instantly as smitten with her as the rest of us had been when she had first sat with us weeks ago. The more Bella displayed her personality the happier I could see Esme, in particular, become. I knew from past conversations that Esme had always been concerned that I would get caught up in the world of fame and choose an inappropriate partner. The others had had their relationships established before our lives had changed so dramatically so I had been her worry. Bella had made her see differently in such a short period of time.

When dinner had finished and we were getting ready to clear away Esme suggested that I show Bella her garden. Bella offered to help with the dishes first but Esme waved her away. "You're a guest tonight Bella and you really must see my garden in the moonlight. It is so pretty."

Luck had definitely been on my side tonight. I had thought I wouldn't get any time with Bella on my own and I had been wrong; it seemed that it kept being offered without any work on my part. Everyone else began to busy themselves with helping Esme so I offered Bella my hand and we walked out into the slight coolness of the night.

"So how have you enjoyed meeting my parents? They're not so scary are they?"

"They're lovely Edward. I should have known that, given how well the rest of you turned out,"

We continued walking through the garden stopping to look at the plants and flowers that Esme had placed with love in various patterns of colour. Esme had been right. It was a beautiful evening and the garden looked gorgeous swathed in the moon's light. The whole atmosphere was romantic and the best thing was that Bella's hand felt warm inside mine as we walked. We came to the spot where someone had, years before we had moved in, hung two swings side by side. I motioned for Bella to sit down and followed by sitting down in the free swing.

"Your mum certainly has put a lot of work into the garden. It is gorgeous."

"Mum puts the same love she had given us into making this garden flourish. She doesn't do anything by halves,"

We continued sitting there chatting about the things we had been doing in the past week. The whole setting was peaceful and comfortable but there was an underlying need to have more of her. I didn't know how to approach that need so I kept asking questions in order to find out more about her.

When I brought up Jacob she retreated into herself a little and I wondered what the reason could be for that. It made me curious about her relationship with him.

"Jacob is one of my closest friends in the world Edward. He would do anything for me but sometimes he comes across a little possessive," I could respect that he was a good friend of hers but something was still not sitting right. I had seen how he felt about her in one very short meeting. Surely she was aware of that.

"He has pretty strong feelings for you Bella," I stated softly and she looked at me startled before her shoulders slumped and a sigh escaped her lips.

"You got that hah. It's part of the reason I don't come back here so often. Jacob never says anything but I know he still cares for me in a way that I can't return. It breaks my heart to do that to him. Our friendship would be perfect if we didn't have that knowledge hanging around our necks."

"So you two were together at some point," I tried so hard to say those words without allowing any form of jealousy lace them.

"Yes, when we were eighteen. It was kind of expected that we would end up together and for a short while I let myself live out those dreams for everyone else, and then I realized I was doing him the worst injustice because he cared for me way more than I did him. I loved him as a friend. He loved me as a future wife. We ended amicably but it was hard to look into his hurt eyes every time I saw him. It was a relief when I moved to Seattle and we didn't see each other so often. That in itself made me feel guilty."

"I see, that must have been hard. But how is it between you now? He doesn't put pressure on you to change your mind?"

"Well no, not really. He does want us to remain friends and he doesn't want me to cut him out of my life altogether so he behaves himself but…" She appeared to be embarrassed and I was nervous of what she was going to tell me. I knew Bella enough to know that she wouldn't be here with me now if she still had feelings towards Jacob but something told me I wasn't going to like what she was embarrassed about.

"But what Bella," I probed gently and she straightened her shoulders and I saw a flash of fire ignite in her eyes.

"A few days ago he kissed me. Not with my permission mind you, although he did say I had asked him to but that is not entirely true so we had a small tiff about the fact and I told him if he ever did it again I would literally kill him and he just laughed and said maybe I should just give in and get back with him but that is not what I want and…." Bella was rambling now and I was finding it hard to get past the words 'he kissed me' so I interrupted her in the hope I would be able to get a better picture of what had actually happened.

"Whoa, Bella. Did you just tell me that Jacob kissed you without you wanting him to? That's not on. It doesn't matter what your history is." I could sense the anger rising in me that he had taken that liberty and then I remembered that the two of them must have resolved the issue because they had been standing together as friends this afternoon, as if it hadn't happened. The anger eased a little.

"Well, it's not quite that cut and dry. He said that I asked him to,"

"Did you?"

"Absolutely not," she was vehement and then embarrassed yet again. "Well I might have said the words but they weren't directed at him. He just took it as if they were."

All of her words were being muddled up in my head. I could not get this straight. "Bella I am confused. If you didn't want him to kiss you, why did you ask him to?"

"Of course you're confused because I am rattling on without explaining myself properly. The truth is I was speaking to you when I asked him to kiss me. I was asleep. I was dreaming and well…." She trailed off as I took in what she had said. My anger dissipated in the realization that Bella had been dreaming of me just as I had been of her.

"You were dreaming about me?" My tone was incredulous and she got up off the swing in agitation.

"I know it sounds bizarre and I can't believe I told you but it was the only way I could explain why I had let Jacob kiss me, and well if I am completely honest I am pretty sure that Jacob is angry enough at me at the moment to let you know that it happened. I would prefer it came from me. I am sorry Edward. It all sounds so…so childish and I am amazingly embarrassed about admitting this but….. yes I was." Bella was looking at me with eyes pleading for understanding.

"Well that seems a little unfair," I lifted myself up from the swing and closed the distance between the two of us in one agile movement. Her eyes widened as she recognized my intention to be as close as possible. "He stole my kiss before I even had it," I brushed the hair away from her forehead and then moved my hand across her cheek until it was at the nape of her neck. She shuddered in response and I felt the thrill of knowing that it was me she wanted to kiss; not Jacob and not anyone else.

"So maybe you need to ask for it again Bella," My mouth was against her ear now and the words came out in a soft whisper. Her voice was trembling as she breathed the words that would lead to the moment I had been waiting for, for weeks.

"Please kiss me Edward," She placed her hand against the back of my neck in a mirror image of what I was doing to her. I felt her fingers caressing the sensitive skin there and it made me lower my hand to the small of her back so I could pull her closer to me.

"With pleasure," My lips found hers; all warm and soft and so incredibly appealing. I wanted her to remember this kiss; I wanted it to eclipse anything she had ever had with Jacob or anyone else who had been lucky enough to feel their lips against hers. I was gentle as possible when we started but when she began to use her tongue to tease my lips into opening the passion ignited and we lost ourselves in the incredible feeling of finally kissing properly. It was everything I had known it would be and more. Nothing meant anything to me, in that moment, except the feel of the girl in my arms and the sensation of our mouths moving against each other with a need I'd never experienced before. When we finally broke the link between our lips I refused to relinquish my hold on her and instead leant my forehead against hers as we both gasped for breath and calmed our accelerated pulses.

How on earth had I ever thought I could just be her friend? I had just crossed the line and there was no going back. There was no way I would be able to let her go now that I had experienced her passion, her longing and her taste. She had just been cemented on my heart with that one kiss and there was nothing else I wanted more than her, in my life.

"Bella,"

"Hmmm," She gazed at me with those beautifully expressive eyes and I knew she was feeling the same way.

"I think we need to try that again."

"I am pretty sure you're right Edward. We most definitely need to do that again." and she reached up to bring my lips back to hers one more time.


	19. Chapter 19: A Night to Remember

Chapter 19

BPOV – A Night To Remember.

"Well that seems a little unfair,"

Edward was all of a sudden moving towards me and his nearness was causing my breath to hitch in my throat. He had displayed a very controlled acceptance of my confession about Jacob and the kiss. I had only seen a brief moment when he had appeared angry but now he only looked………well he looked incredibly satisfied and nothing short of sensual as he lifted his hand to touch my face tenderly.

"He stole my kiss before I even had it,"

He moved his hand to the back of my neck and the simple touch sent shivers down my spine. I was mesmerized by his face. How could someone so beautiful even contemplate being this close to me; want to touch me in such a tender way? He moved his face out of view and I felt his breath dance against my ear, weaving its way amongst the tendrils of my chocolaty brown hair. The feel of it made my heart change its rhythm in anticipation and when he softly murmured the next words into my ear the heartbeat changed its course yet again.

"So maybe you need to ask for it again Bella,"

I was suddenly nervous and wondered if I could follow through on his request. My throat seemed constricted with the knowledge that as soon as I said those words I would have his mouth on mine the way I had been dreaming of for over a week now. What if the kiss did not live up to the low, smoldering ebb of longing that I knew we had both been feeling. What if it meant he would realize that I wasn't anything particularly special and wouldn't want to continue exploring this relationship that we were only just beginning? I turned slightly and saw those strangely unique eyes staring back at me in question and knew at that point I could not resist.

"Please kiss me Edward," I inadvertently placed my body closer to his as I used my hands to touch him as he was touching me. His hand moved from the nape of my neck down to my lower back and I knew he was trying to do exactly as I had been doing; ensuring our proximity. I watched, the pounding of my heart seeming so pronounced, as his lips descended towards mine in the gentlest caress imaginable. This was what I had been waiting for; now I would learn what it was to taste him properly. I gently traced his full, upper lip with the tip of my tongue and smiled at the instant small groan from Edward. I allowed my tongue to press deeper and he returned the favour. I became lost in that kiss; I no longer heard any of the sounds around us; I wasn't aware of our surroundings; only the feel of him as I was entirely focused on the emotions that this kiss was instilling in me.

Very slowly our kisses softened and became less. Edward held me securely as we laid our foreheads against one another and felt our breathing deepen into its usual pattern of rhythm. I chanced looking at Edward once again and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the passion and joy reflected in the smokiness of his eyes. He was feeling the same way I was. He was feeling the wonder I was feeling; knowing that I had just lost myself so completely to someone that I hardly knew; yet a person I felt I had known all my life. It was incomparably perfect.

"Bella,"

"Hmmm," I wasn't ready to communicate yet. I didn't want him to tell me we had to stop now and return to the house. I wasn't ready to come off that cloud of feeling I was currently residing on.

"I think we need to try that again." Could his voice sound any sexier? There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss him again.

"I am pretty sure you're right Edward. We most definitely need to do that again." I returned my lips to his and pulled him to me, as close as I could get. He trailed his hand lightly up and down my back in a slight caress as we continued exploring the possibilities of our lips being together. At that moment in time everything felt as it should. It was a beautiful summer night, Edward was kissing me in a manner I had never experienced before and I felt secure in the knowledge that Edward wanted me beyond the simple friendliness of the past few weeks. I was elated – there was no other way to describe it. The reality was definitely better than the dream.

As much as we both enjoyed the kisses we were sharing there came a time when we knew we would have to return to the house and Edward suggested we sit down for a short period to gain our composure, completely, before we did so. We sat on our separate swings but Edward would not let go of my hand and we sat there in companionable silence as we studied each other's faces and thought our own thoughts. When music reached my ears I was startled back into the reality of our surroundings and Edward smirked at my sudden jolt.

"That's Rosalie playing. There is nothing mum loves more than listening to her children play an impromptu piece of music. Everyone will be in there. Would you like to join them?" He had stood up and placed his hand out for me to take and I smiled in pure happiness at him. His eyes lit up in response and once again I wondered how I could possibly bring about that kind of reaction from such a simple gesture. We walked back to the house hand in hand and when we entered the room everyone was assembled in different states of comfort. Rosalie was at the piano with Esme sitting in the chair closest to her. Carlisle was sitting at a small desk with open books in front of him but he wasn't studying them; all his attention was on Rosalie and the beautiful piece of music she was playing. Alice was half sitting, half lying on a lounge with Jasper on the floor in front of her. She had her arm casually placed across his chest in a loving gesture and they too had their attention on the beautiful girl at the piano. Emmett was leaning against a chair and his foot was automatically tapping out the beat of the song softly.

The song came to an end minutes after we entered the room and everyone was congratulating Rosalie on the beautiful manner in which she had played. She seemed pleased with their praise and delicately got up to go and sit in the chair that Emmett had been leaning against. He gave her a small squeeze of encouragement and she smiled back at him in thanks. Edward and I also took the opportunity to sit down on one of the lounge chairs and I nervously wondered how I should be acting in this situation. It was all so new to me; this family, the man beside me, the amazing kisses we had just shared. Should I be pretending that nothing had happened between us and we were just two people sharing a night out with his family? Was I able to touch him because that is what I wanted more than anything at the moment? Edward answered my questions without me having to ask. He placed his arm around me in comfort and I relaxed into the crook of his arm. He obviously had no qualms about letting his family know that something had changed between us during our time in the garden.

"So the two of you are back, then?" Alice's sing song voice reverberated around the room "Just in time to show us your skills on the piano Edward. I am sure you have been longing to get your hands back onto a real piano; your piano"

"I am perfectly comfortable where I am thanks Alice. Someone else take a turn. How about you, mum?" I was more than happy to have Edward by my side for a little longer, even though I also was excited about the prospect of hearing him play again. The last time I had listened to him, the music had made an impact. I was curious to see if it would be the same this time.

Esme rose to go and sit at the piano. "Now Bella I want you to know that I am nowhere near as talented as the rest of my children here but I do love to play so…."

Esme played a beautiful piece of music with nearly as much passion as I had seen Edward use at the hotel. She had been lying when she said she wasn't as talented. It was obvious to me where Edward had received his gift for music from. When she finished everyone clapped and she stood up and went straight to the arms of her husband. It was apparent to me that this family had the capacity to love strongly as I watched their interaction wide eyed with jealousy. Never had I known such close relationships to exist between people as what I was witnessing here. My family certainly never had had that close bond between couples.

"Wow Esme that was beautiful. I can see where your children get their talent from," I couldn't help but tell Esme how amazing I thought she was. She smiled in response to my compliment.

"Yes I am the only odd one out in this family I am afraid," Carlisle spoke with good humour in his voice. "I do not have a musical bone in my body. Both Alice and Edward got their talent from Esme. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett got their talent from their own families."

"Dad has his own talents though Bella. His intelligence more than makes up for his lack of creativity,"

"Thanks for that Edward," Carlisle answered dryly but I could tell he wasn't put out by the comment.

"So Pixie Girl I do believe that Bella has never experienced any kind of proof that you are at all musical. Maybe you should take your turn," Emmett teased Alice and she instantly got riled up.

"Just because I chose not to display my gifts to the world as the rest of you have, doesn't mean I am not skilled in some manner. I have just chosen to feed my creativity into a different form that's all."

"Maybe you're not good enough to be part of our elite group," Emmett joked and Alice threw him an irate look. "Ooohh watch out I have made the little pixie mad,"

"Come on Jasper. Let's let Bella decide if I would have been good enough for your group…….. if I had so chosen," Those last few words were directed at Emmett and he smirked in happiness that he had got to her so easily.

Jasper grabbed his guitar and Alice whispered into his ear before he began to play the chords of a familiar song. I recognised it as Apologise by Timberland. When Alice began to sing I was amazed at just how strong her voice was and how the lilting sound of it during her normal conversations was reflected in the singing voice she had. Alice was definitely talented but had been keeping that talent away from the world. As she said that was her choice.

On completion Alice immediately turned to me with enthusiasm.

"So Bella. What do you think? Would I fit in with Cullen Alliance or not?"

"Absolutely, there is no doubt in my mind. You have an incredible voice Alice." My answer was as honest as it got. I wished I was as good at something as what everyone in this room seemed to be.

"Thanks," Alice stated in glee and then turned to Emmett who was watching her with amusement. "Do you have something to say to me Emmett?" She raised her perfectly arched eyebrows at him.

"Sure," Emmett grinned and I waited with bated breath to see what he would come out with. "I would say sorry but you have just told me not to – it's too late and all of that."

Everyone laughed, except for Alice who was trying hard not to allow her smile to show through. "Yes very funny Emmett. You already know that I can sing so I am going to pretend that you told me how good I am and we will leave it at that,"

Edward had been playing with my hair idly where it rested on my shoulder and it was sending tingles through my arm, so I was a little disappointed when Carlisle asked Edward to take his turn. Edward got up reluctantly and the emptiness of the space next to me felt so wrong for a short time.

"Any requests?" Edward asked as he sat down at the piano and gently touched the keys in readiness.

"Have you written anything new lately?" Esme questioned.

He paused and appeared to be considering. He smiled at me and then leant down to begin playing.

For the second time tonight I lost myself completely in feelings unexplored. Edward played the song I had first heard late at night in the hotel; the night when I had questioned him about the emotions of the music and we had discussed the difficulty of him being famous; feeling alone. There was a slight difference to this piece though. There was more added to it and now, in amongst the longing, tenderness and confusion, there were notes of hope and joy. The music captivated me as it had the first night and when he finally played the final note I wanted to cry out in denial that it could have finished already. It was poignant and emotional and somehow I felt its importance to Edward, which made it important to me.

He lifted his head and our gazes locked in silent acknowledgement of the specialness of that song. Everyone was murmuring their enjoyment of this new composition but I remained completely silent. I was still relishing the beautiful notes within my own head and didn't want to ruin the moment by speaking.

"More Edward, please play more," Esme was pleading but Edward shook his head slightly.

"I think that's more than enough from me tonight mum. I need to get Bella home. I promised her father I would look after her. It's kind of late now."

"Oh, my goodness. You are right. I am so sorry everyone. I guess I got caught up in having you all here that I didn't consider that you must be more than ready for a good night sleep after the travelling." Esme was looking at all her children but each of them denied that there was a problem. She smiled winningly at them all. "Ok, you are all dismissed. I will see you tomorrow whenever you feel the need to get up. And Bella it was lovely to meet you and have you join us for dinner. I hope we see a lot more of you around here before my kids take off again,"

A slight feeling of dread came over me but I covered it up and thanked everyone for having me and making me feel welcome. I didn't want to think about them leaving again. Edward and I walked to his car and he gently helped me into it.

When he placed himself into the driver's seat I spoke. "Edward, that piece of music was amazingly good. It was even better than the last time I heard it."

He smiled and if I didn't know better I would think he looked a little embarrassed. "I finished it a couple of days ago, while we were in Portland."

I tried to steady my breath because he was looking at me with an emotion I couldn't quite read. "Well it's beautiful,"

"It's yours," he spoke so softly I wouldn't have heard it except that I was looking at his lips, wondering how it would feel to have them against mine again, and I saw the motion of the words.

"Mine? Because I was the first to hear it back at the hotel?"

"Nope. Yours….. because I wrote it about you and then for you."

What was he saying? No-one would ever do something like that for me. How could it possibly be for me or about me? It was way too special.

"But it's so emotional and the feelings in it made me feel so sad and then hopeful and there was so much longing…….. My god Edward, was that longing for me?"

" It's always been about you; right from the beginning, Bella. I was confused about how I could feel so strongly about a girl I didn't know and I started to write the song to help me work through those emotions. Then after we went out I knew that I was no longer confused and there was all this hope that maybe things would work out for me; for us, so I wrote the rest of it in a better frame of mind. That song is all for you Bella."

I was stunned into absolute silence. The emotions in that song were so strong and revealing. Edward had written it for me and he was showing through his music that he cared for me in a way that made my heart soar. I could feel the onset of tears and fought against them so that I would not embarrass myself in front of this amazing man. Edward lifted my chin to look at him and then placed both his hands on either side of my face in a gentle touch.

"Thank you," I whispered as I remained enthralled by his gaze and the closeness of his face to mine.

"Thank you……. for making me feel that way," Edward was leaning towards me now and I knew we were about to find that heavenly place again as soon as he melded his lips with mine. No-one had ever felt so right kissing me. No-one came anywhere close to making me feel the emotions that even the slightest word or touch from Edward instantly gave me. Somehow I had managed to find the person I was meant to be with and, better still, he had shown me in every conceivable way that he had the same feelings towards me.

Edward and I were on our way. There was no doubt in my head that there would be many more of these nights and days ahead. I was more than ready for them.


	20. Chapter 20: A Hidden Romance

Chapter 20

BPOV – A Hidden Romance

It didn't take long for the reality of loving a rockstar to rear its ugly head. Edward and I spent blissful days of laughter, kissing, holding and spending time together in the privacy of his home but when it came to being in public it was a whole different ball game. I understood the need to keep our relationship under wraps and not have public displays of emotion but it was so difficult to step away from him and not feel his strong arms surround me, feel his breath tickle the top of my head, as he stood behind me in a loving embrace or have his beautifully erotic lips against mine in shared pleasure. In public we acted the part of new found friends. In private we were becoming so much more than that. A small part of me wondered if Edward was embarrassed to have such a normal girlfriend; someone who was so out of line with his rockstar status but I would look into his eyes at those times and realize that he didn't think in that manner. To him, he was securing my privacy and my security. He did not want me to be thrust into the limelight because of my association with him, and deep down I knew he was all too aware, already, that I had an aversion to attention. He was granting me what I had always longed for, obscurity and he did it out of compassion, not embarrassment of what I was.

Besides the Cullens, only a handful of people were aware that I was seeing Edward on a more personal level. Their reaction to this new state of affairs varied a great deal. Angela, being my best friend, saw it as the best thing that had ever happened and was constantly plying me for tidbits of how everything was going and how it felt to be in love with someone so famous. She was fully aware that I had fallen for Edward big time, even though I had never said those words to him. She knew me too well to think I would be dedicating so much time and effort in following through on this relationship if I didn't think it was going somewhere. She had witnessed the difficulty I had had with breaking up with Jacob and understood that it would be all or nothing for me when it came to a relationship. There was no way I would deliberately lead someone on, if the outcome wasn't what we both wanted. She was encouraging, and I loved her for that.

Ben was floored that I had managed to find myself a rockstar to be with. His idolization of Edward and the group meant he saw them as gods rather than normal people who could be in normal relationships. As we all shared more time with one another he came to understand them in a different way but he still marveled at my good fortune, and I guess his own. It helped to be a close friend of the person who was in a relationship with one of your idols. It really did. Ben and Angela had been invited to the Cullens as their guests on a couple of occasions and had enjoyed their time there immensely.

Charlie tried to ignore what was happening. He looked at me in confusion way too many times but whenever I mentioned what I was doing with Edward or one of the Cullens he put up a wall of ignorance around himself and reminded me that I had other friends to consider. By that, I knew he meant Jacob but he was also letting me know that once Edward and his family left Forks, he thought what Edward and I had would be finished. He hadn't seen us together yet so didn't understand the importance of Edward to me. He would eventually have to learn.

Jacob; Jacob was mad as hell and he was hurting and it was becoming harder and harder every day to retain the good feelings we had towards one another. Due to dad's firm friendship with Billy, Jacob was often at our place or I at his during the following few days. He hadn't got over his meeting with Edward and the thinly veiled threat Edward had made that he would fight for me if it came down to it.

"What do you see in someone so shallow, Bella? His world is so contrary to your own. He lives a life of parties and probably alcohol and drugs. He is not the one for you"

"Since when do you make those kinds of decisions for me Jacob? I see a lot in Edward and it is way beyond the cliché idea you have of a famous person."

"I don't want to see you get dragged into his illicit world Bella. You are too good for him."

"I am not being dragged anywhere Jake, least of all into some sort of illicit world you have made up in your head. None of that family are into the drug scene or the groupie scene. They are normal people trying to live out a fairly abnormal life. I care for Edward and I enjoy spending time with him. I am sorry if that hurts you but I have never led you on Jake. You have always known that one day it would come to this. I have always been completely honest about my feelings for you. I love you as the very good friend you are. Don't ruin what we have by trying to interfere with what is going on between Edward and I. It is something I will not put up with. I promise you that,"

"So I just have to accept that I've lost you to a person who probably doesn't even value what you have together and will probably leave you as soon as another pretty girl comes along" Jacob's voice dripped venom and my own anger was rising to meet him in the middle. I tried to contain it. Jacob and our friendship was important too. I had to make him understand that.

"Jake, you haven't lost my friendship and that is what it has been between us for years now. Please don't complicate matters by believing that you and I still belong together. It is just never going to happen. I love you but not in that way. As for what happens between Edward and I, that is between us. If he decides that he and I don't have a future together then I will deal with that when it happens. Believe me though when I say you completely have the wrong idea about him. I know he cares about me."

"Yeh, well we'll see about that Bella. His few weeks of knowing you, can not compare to the years of history we share. There is no possible way."

I sighed and made an excuse to leave Jacob's company at that point, knowing that he had no understanding of how quickly the relationship between Edward and I had developed, in such a short period of time. It would not help for me to tell him that I had felt more in those few short weeks with Edward than I ever had with him or anyone else. It would only hurt him and it was not something I was willing to do lightly. Jacob was just going to have to work through this at his own pace and I was going to have to accept the underlying animosity he was sending my way when we were anywhere near one another, if I wanted to come out the other side with our friendship intact. It was a price I was willing to pay. Jacob did not need to be absent from my life altogether. He belonged in it; just in a different role to what he had envisioned. Thankfully Edward and he hadn't crossed paths yet so Edward had been exempt from all of Jacob's negativity.

But tonight I was not going to be able to escape any of it. Tonight everyone would be in the one place celebrating Ben and Angela's upcoming wedding, in two weeks time, and Edward, Charlie and Jacob would all be in attendance, amongst many other members of this small town. Ben and Angela had decided that they were going to have a combined hens and bucks night in place of the regular way of doing it, so there would be many old and new friends there. It gave me a headache to think that I was going to have to deal with Jacob's ill concealed antagonism towards Edward, my father's inability to accept I was now a grown woman who could make her own choices and mistakes, and worst of all I had to spend the whole night pretending that Edward meant nothing to me except as a person who crossed my path every now and again. I wasn't sure I was strong enough to do it but when I considered that this was Angela and Ben's special night, I put on my brave face and readied myself for an eventful party. Please god let everyone behave themselves for Ben and Angela's sake.

I was at Angela's place early to help with the setup. We worked hard to have everything ready before the first guests announced their arrival by the ringing of the front door bell. It was my job to help Angela and her mother with the hostess role for the night. I spent a good proportion of the first hour greeting people and leading them outside to make themselves comfortable around the yard and house. Dad had been one of the first to arrive and he was now parked out by the spit with Ben's dad and a few other members of Forks community enjoying a beer and a good chat. So far so good, I thought. I wondered how the arrival of Jacob and the Cullen family would impact on his current good mood.

When Jacob arrived he was in an unflappably good mood, giving Angela a huge bear hug and kiss before clapping Ben on the back in congratulations.

"Great idea, having the bucks and hens together, you two. A party is not the same without the opposite sex there to add that little extra something to the proceedings." He winked at Angela and she grinned back at him. The four of us had been friends since high school days, even though we had attended different schools, and I knew he was feeling completely at ease in their company. He turned to me and politely smiled. It didn't reach his eyes and that made me feel sad. "Nice to see you Bella," He kissed my cheek briefly and then made his way out to the backyard. So that was how it was going to be tonight then? Well if the icy routine was the most he gave me, then I should be happy. It would be so much better than his red hot temper coming out to confront Edward. The nerves invaded my conscience, once again, at the thought of the possibility of that happening.

I was discussing the approaching wedding with a few of Angela's friends from Seattle when the mood shifted around me and I was suddenly aware that the Cullens had arrived and with them many awed whispers. I sighed to myself. The poor things couldn't even go to a simple, casual party without it being a major event for those around them. I saw Carlisle come through the back door first and smiled at him in greeting as I moved to take his hand. He grasped my hand with both of his. "Lovely to see you again Bella. I trust that everything is good with you,"

"Everything is great, thanks for asking Dr Cullen," He raise an eyebrow at me and I giggled nervously. "Sorry Carlisle."

He left me to find some of his friends including my father who all welcomed him into their circle with little alteration to their conversation. They definitely felt he was one of them; it made me happy to see that.

Alice , Rosalie and Esme were talking to Angela's mother just inside the back door so I wasn't able to see beyond them. They all seemed completely at ease and unaware that around them people were making a deal of their arrival. When they finally came out into the back yard they found me and more greetings were exchanged.

"What a beautiful night for a party. Angela and Ben should be so happy that the weather decided to behave for them. Let's hope that it does the same on their wedding day," Esme was taking in the beauty of the garden and how it had been set up with candles and lanterns.

I was only half listening to the polite conversation going on around me because I was waiting for the moment when I would get to see Edward again. None of the boys had come out of the house yet and I wondered what was taking them so long. As if she could read my mind Alice leant towards me and her tinkling laughter could be heard.

"The boys have been detained by some fans I am afraid. Angela has some younger cousins who weren't able to contain themselves and asked for photographs and autographs. The boys are being very obliging. They should be out soon."

I looked at Alice and Rosalie in surprise. "How did you get out of that one Rosalie? Surely they wanted your autograph too,"

"Nope, " Rosalie said "It was all about the boys for them. They weren't interested in me at all. It was kind of nice actually."

As if on cue a teenage boy came nervously over to Rosalie and looked at her in awe. She sighed and then smiled brilliantly at him which almost made him go into apoplexy.

"Um, hi… I was wondering if I could.., well if you would mind having your photo taken with me. My friends over there dared me too and well… if it's ok that would be brilliant." He pointed towards a small group of boys over by a tree who were all smirking and egging on their mate with their hoots and laughter.

"I would be delighted to. What was your name?"

"Tim and wow, thanks so much," Alice took the camera from his hand and took a picture of the two of them together. Rosalie handed it back to him and whispered conspiratorially to the young man.

"Listen Tim, I was wondering if you could do me a huge favour. I am kind of here tonight to celebrate with friends and would really like if I could do it without too much attention coming our way. Do you think that maybe you could help me out with that? Spread the word that I am not wanting to steal Angela and Ben's limelight and all that?"

His mouth widened into a huge grin at the job that this goddess had given him to do. I was entirely sure that he would take it very seriously and that Rosalie would have her own personal bodyguard for the night.

Esme and Alice moved away to speak to some of Esme's friends but Rosalie stayed by my side which I was surprised about.

"So how are you coping with the whole 'keep your distance in public' scenario Bella? I am not so sure I would be willing to do that for anyone, but then again I do like to be the centre of attention; that's probably why"

"Well I guess it isn't what I imagined being with someone would be like, having to hide your feelings, but I understand that this isn't your regular situation, so I will deal with it."

"Well, just so you know, this is the happiest I have ever seen Edward and we all appreciate that you have brought that out in him. Think about the private times when the public image gets too much. When it seems like he isn't responding to you in the way you want; remember he is hiding his true feelings in public to protect you. We've all done it at some point." I stared at Rosalie in surprise. It was the most she had ever said to me in one go, particularly whilst we were alone. "If you think you're alone in wanting to be closer and showing the world that you have someone special in your life, remember that he is probably feeling exactly the same way," She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and laughed uncomfortably. " Ok that is the end of my little pep talk. I am not so good with these little deep and meaningfuls Bella so don't expect them too often. I am going to go and mingle. See you soon."

As Rosalie walked away from me to go to speak to one of Esme's friends I noticed that Emmett, Jasper and Edward had walked out the back door. Jessica, an old friend from highschool chose to come over and greet me at that point and I was disappointed to realize that the boys were not going to join us. I watched them out of the corner of my eye as they moved around the party shaking hands and laughing with a variety of people. I distractedly spoke to Jessica about all she had been up to in the past year but it was hard to keep my attention on the trials and tribulations at her college year when Edward was so close by, yet so far away. A couple of times I noticed him looking at me and his smile would curve up in a small sign of understanding that this was not the way it should be. It made my heart accelerate just a touch and then I would force myself to return to the conversation on hand with Jessica.

"Aren't they dreamy," Jessica all of a sudden changed the subject and her attention was directed in the same direction as mine had been constantly pulled towards. "Any one of those boys would be worth having I would imagine. Two out of three of them are off limits of course. Wouldn't want to upset those two over there," She nodded her head towards Alice and Rosalie who were currently embroiled in a high energy conversation with some of the guests. I grinned to myself. No, you wouldn't want to cross those two when it came to their men. It would be detrimental to your health, I had no doubt. "But Edward, he is divine and so, so available," I felt like screaming out at her "Oh no he isn't" but I held my tongue and continued to listen to her appraisal of Edward and his attributes. All entirely true of course but not what I wanted her to be thinking about. She leant closer to me and whispered conspiratorially. "Apparently he is a bit of a ladies man. Enjoys all the attention, if you know what I mean. Maybe I could make him interested in me while we are here. I would be more than willing to help him out in that manner."

I frowned at her, wondering if she was seriously considering trying to lust after Edward. The thought made me feel ill with disgust. He wasn't some piece of meat to be thought of in that manner and he most definitely was not up for grabs. How could I make that blatantly clear without exposing our secret? I couldn't, so I had to hope that Edward was immune to Jessica's brand of seduction and chose to move away from her constant chatter instead.

"Wow Bella, the love between the two of you is just screaming out to the world, isn't it?"  
Jacob's sarcastic voice in my ear startled me and I whipped around quickly to see the smirk on his face. "If you were my girl I would want everyone to know and I wouldn't let anyone else do this," He reached up and grabbed my chin gently and for a brief moment I thought he was actually going to kiss me to make a point. Thankfully he didn't but he did run his fingertips across my face and tucked my errant hair behind my ear before I was able to move and swat his hand away. He laughed at my late reaction and then flung his arm around my shoulder in a possessive manner that I thought we had gone beyond. Jacob was trying very hard to ensure that Edward saw our little interaction in the hope of riling him up. He was itching for a fight and I was no longer the only one he wanted one from. Edward was on his hit list. I searched the backyard quickly to see if Edward had witnessed Jake's small challenge and cringed when I saw his icy eyes staring our way. Jasper was speaking urgently into his ear and I wondered what he was saying to help Edward remain calm. I tried to move out from under Jacob's arm but he tightened his grip and I couldn't do it without making a fuss. I looked up at his face and noted the triumphant look he was sending back at Edward.

"Please let me go Jacob. No good is going to come out of this,"

"Let him come and get you if he cares so much. Nothing I have seen tonight suggests he understands what you deserve Bella. Do you seriously believe that you should be kept a secret?"

"It's none of your business Jacob. Edward and I decided to do it this way. It's our choice." My mouth was hurting from trying to argue with him without others sensing our tension. I felt like it was frozen into a fake smile. It probably looked more like a grimace. "Please don't make a scene Jacob. People are starting to look at us."

"They are only admiring how good we look as a couple, Bella," He kissed the top of my head and then lightly kissed down to my ear in a display of familiarity that I could not allow while Edward looked on; a hurt and frustrated expression on his face.

"And that is something that we are not Jacob. In fact at the moment I don't even think much of you as a friend." With those words I ripped my body away from under his arm and was about to leave his side when Emmett and Rosalie miraculously appeared in front of us.

"Hi Bella. Haven't had the chance to say hello yet," Emmett's low voice broke through the tension of the moment between Jacob and I. He had his arm around Rosalie's waist and she was giving Jacob a scathing look of reproof. "and this must be your good friend Jacob. It's a shame he isn't showing himself to be the friend you speak so highly of. He seems to have forgotten how to treat a lady. Is everything alright here?"

The smirk was back on Jacob's face and he seemed unperturbed by the underlying threat in Emmett's voice. "Everything is fine. Bella and I were having a friendly discussion about love and the different ways you can demonstrate it……. or not. Bella is in no danger from me so you can pull your head in and relax. I've known Bella a lot longer than you guys so am fully aware of how to treat her. Maybe you should be speaking to your friend about that. He seems, to me, to be the one who is having some difficulty understanding how Bella should be treated. She deserves better than him."

Rosalie audibly gasped at the insults he was throwing at both her partner and her almost brother. "How dare you, you conceited little piece of shit. You have absolutely no idea about anything to do with my brother and besides it's not actually normal to be placing your hands all over someone that doesn't want it."

I had to put a stop to his before it went any further. A fight was brewing and it was getting out of control.

"Guys, this night is about Angela and Ben, not us. I was just parting ways with Jacob anyway. I think I've made myself perfectly clear about how I feel about Jacob's inappropriate behavior tonight. Why don't you all go and enjoy the party." Emmett and Jacob were sizing one another up and didn't seem to be taking any notice of me. I placed myself between the two of them and looked at Emmett pleadingly.

"Please Emmett. I really don't want this to go any further." His attention was now on me rather than Jacob. "Tell Edward I said I am sorry,"

Emmett shook his head "You have nothing to be sorry for Bella. It is quite evident that Jacob is searching for some kind of reaction," Emmett glared at Jacob over my shoulder. "Sorry man, but you aint going to get it. Edward is fully aware of where he stands with Bella. Your games aren't going to work. Come on Rose. Let's go get ourselves a drink. Bella seems to have things in control here."

I turned back to face Jacob. "You couldn't help yourself could you Jacob? Do me a favour and stay out of my way for the rest of the night. At the moment I don't even want to look at you. Hopefully tomorrow that would have changed."

"But Bella,"

"No Jacob, no buts. We're adults, not fifteen year old kids who know no better. You were extremely rude to my friends and you are deliberately trying to hurt me and Edward. Give it a break."

He let me go, understanding that I needed space from him even though he wasn't happy about the fact. I searched the crowd and could not see Edward anywhere so went to find Angela instead. I was hoping that Jacob's attempt at making us appear as a couple would not have made Edward change his mind about our fledgling relationship. Where was he?

Standing with Angela, Ben and a few of their friends from their respective works helped sidetrack me for a little while but the whole time I was worried. Edward hadn't even come to say hello and surely that would have been a casual, friendly thing to do? I was beginning to get a slight tension headache. My night was not a pleasant one.

When he finally came to stand with our group and Ben had introduced him to everyone standing with us, Edward seemed so unsure of himself, even though he was more than pleasant to the people he was meeting. He stood next to me without touching at all. Too far away, I thought to myself as I watched with an envious eye Ben squeeze Angela's waist where he had his arm around her in a hug. That should be us.

"How are you Bella? We haven't had a chance to catch up. How has your night been?" I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at the formality of his questions and approach to me. It was so unnatural given the closeness between us of the past week.

"Um I'm fine, thanks for asking and my night has been… well it's been interesting."

"It certainly has," He mumbled and then began to take part in a conversation with the others about a baseball match that had been played earlier that day. Angela met my eye and we smiled uncertainly at one another. She would be aware of how hard this would be for me and was silently sympathizing.

When Edward's fingers brushed against mine I almost dropped the champagne glass that he was reaching for. "Would you like another drink Bella? I am going to go and get one," I looked down at my glass, not having realized that it was finally empty.

"You've been sitting on that glass since I first walked in," he whispered to me and it made me realize that he had been watching me even if he hadn't come to say hello. That had to be good didn't it?

"Sure. I would love one but I will come with you. Does anyone else want a drink while we are gone?" I opened up the offer to the whole group and took their orders before Edward and I moved towards the drink area.

When we got there Edward was running his fingers through his hair. "I don't think I can do this Bella," His voice sounded ragged and my heart fell into my stomach. He was going to say we needed to end what we had, that it wasn't going to work.

"What do you mean?" The tremor in my voice showed my fear of what was about to come. He smiled quizzically at the sound of it and then proceeded to answer my question.

"I can't stand being here with you and not being able to show the world how much you mean to me; that we are together. It's not the way it should be," His eyes bore into mine and I relaxed with the knowledge that I had been wrong. He wasn't going to end this at all. " and to watch Jacob with his hands and lips on you was hell."

"Don't worry about Jacob; he was trying to goad you, that's all."

"Yeh and I should have done something about that. Should have been able to tell him to get his hands off my girl but instead I stood in the background as if it didn't matter at all."

People were heading our way to get drinks of their own which would effectively put an end to our privacy so I quickly pleaded with Edward.

"We agreed that this was the best way Edward. Don't beat yourself up about it. We can be together later,"

He nodded his head balefully "But later is too far away,"

Nothing more could be said because we were no longer alone but I smiled up at him with my brightest smile and simply said "I know," He grinned back at me and we headed back to our group to offer everyone their drinks.

"Hey Bella. I was wondering if you could do me a favour? I want to get some different music on. Could you go up to my room and choose some from my CD collection. I would do it myself but I don't want to leave my guests," Angela was smiling sweetly at me and I knew she was up to something. "And Edward maybe you could help her since you are the musician out of all of us. You can ensure she only chooses good stuff." And there it was – my best friend was giving Edward and I a few minutes of alone time. I could have kissed her with gratitude, I was so happy.

As soon as we entered the room I was in Edward's arms and he was holding me tightly. I sighed out loud and he laughed in response as he gently traced circles on my back.

"So being in my arms makes you happy too then, Bella?"

"Absolutely. You are way too hard to stay away from."

Edward became serious. "We shouldn't have to. If only…." I didn't let him finish his sentence, placing my fingers against his lips to silence his words.

"We only have a few minutes so let's not waste them with talking about what is wrong. Do something right instead."

"Like this," Edward placed a butterfly kiss at the corner of my mouth and the instant electricity never failed to amaze me.

"Hmmm. Something like that I guess,"

"Not good enough, hey? Ok, what about this?" He slowly moved his lips back and forwards across mine leaving my lips burning with a tingly sensation that made me want to beg for more.

"Pretty good but still… something is missing," I murmured against his lips and I felt his mouth move into a smile of amusement.

"Ok, I get it now. You want this." Edward's softly caressing lips became more demanding and soon our mouths were moving together in unison as we deepened the kiss between us. I felt like I was being pulled inside out as I always did when he kissed me with such intensity. It was so beautiful and right that I never wanted it to end. I would never get enough of his kisses. They were all too perfect.

When Edward pulled away from me and moved to the opposite side of the room I felt lost. "What are you doing?"

"I am removing myself from your intoxicating presence. You don't think I am going to be able to walk back out there after that and not blow our cover, do you? It's like going cold turkey after a huge hit of my own brand of heroin. I need a moment to compose myself,"

"Do you think it's any different for me," I questioned lightly as I turned to begin choosing some CD's. That was, after all, what we were here to do and he obviously needed some time away from me.

"I certainly hope not Bella. I want you to feel the same way I do. I want you to love these moments we have together as much as I do." He was no longer on the other side of the room. He was behind me now and I could feel his heart beating against my back as he pulled me gently against him. I relaxed as he softly ran his fingers up and down my arms making me shiver in response. We stood like that for a minute or so before he leant down and trailed his lips against my neck towards my ear.

"I thought you said we should be composing ourselves Edward," I turned my head sideways to glance at him and he moved his lips from their place at my ear across to take hold of my mouth. "This is not going to help the composure at all," I was saying the words but they were being lost in his kisses. He gradually stopped.

"I guess not," he reluctantly turned my whole body around and kissed the top of my head tenderly. "We better get going before they send a search party in." He gave me one last kiss on the lips and then we moved to the doorway where he stopped uncertainly to look at me.

"Can you promise me one thing though Bella," He looked down at his hands as if he was nervous and I placed my own hand on his to let him know it was ok. "Please don't let Jacob touch you like that again tonight. Actually, please don't let anyone else touch you like that. I don't think I will be so contained if I have to watch some guy being so familiar with you again."

Before we went back out there to play out our charade again I needed him to understand something. I lifted his face up to look me directly in the eyes.

"Jacob will not come near me again tonight. I have warned him off but Edward, you are the only guy I want to have touch me and kiss me. The only one. I promise you that."

"You don't know how much I needed to hear you say that Bella. I am truly sorry that it has to be this way."

I squeezed his hand. "It is going to be ok. We can get through tonight, no problems."

"I hope so," Edward sounded nervous but I didn't have time to question him further because we were heading down the stairs and back out into the backyard; to a place where our relationship was purely platonic. It seemed so wrong!


	21. Chapter 21: Things to be Examined

Chapter 21

EPOV – Things to be Examined

I felt so gutless and ineffectual as I led Bella back down into the backyard where our friends were having a good time. Tonight had not been easy for me from the moment we had arrived. Not being able to go immediately to Bella's side and greet her the way I wanted had placed me in a bad mood from the onset. I was sure that she would be hurting from these actions too and that blackened my mood even further. Then, having to watch Jacob Black place his hands on Bella, as if he owned her, made me downright livid and only Jasper's urgent reminder that we couldn't go in and rip his arms off in retaliation, because it would expose Bella to the media's lust for a story, prevented me from following through on removing his hands from her on a permanent basis. Friend or no friend to Bella, Jacob had no right to be taunting me in that way. It would only hurt Bella in the long run.

The sole light given to me tonight had been the brief kisses that Bella and I had stolen in Angela's room. That counted for a lot though. Kissing Bella was like tasting the most exquisite chocolate in the world combined with the heady sensation of having just one too many wines. Every time I kissed her, I was wanting more of that feeling. Breaking away from her was always so hard to do and I often wondered how I managed to do it. Containing my desire for her was getting harder and harder and the feelings were only magnified tonight because I knew that I couldn't be as close to her as I wanted in the public sense.

Now we were standing amongst a group of people, pretending that we were casual acquaintances, who enjoyed chatting about inconsequential things. It aggravated me to watch other couples interacting lovingly towards one another when I couldn't do the same with Bella. I was also getting completely exasperated with the constant surveillance we were getting from Jacob, as he watched us from the other side of the yard. He was seriously pissing me off. Jacob and I were going to have to have a completely honest heart to heart about what was going on before too long. Just not tonight. It was not the right time, even though it might relieve some of the aggravation I could feel coiled up in my body.

The thing that was worrying me the most, though, was that I knew that tonight's unpleasantness was far from over for me and I was hoping to protect Bella from the outcome of that. Alice had already warned me that I would be having a minor confrontation with Charlie tonight. She couldn't give me the specifics but she had seen us arguing about Bella. As time marched on I was getting more and more nervous about what would happen during this dispute between us. Bella meant the world to me and I really didn't want to be on the wrong side of her father right from the start. I had to retain my calm demeanour so that I didn't say anything that I would later regret.

"If you will excuse me I need to go find my sister for a moment," I was speaking to one of Ben's workmates, who I had been having a discussion with, but I felt Bella tense up as she realized I was leaving the group. I gave her, what I hoped was, a casual smile. "I won't be long."

I was searching for Alice, so I could see if she had any more information for me about the future argument, when Jacob turned up at my side and I had to give my attention to him.

"Hello Jacob," I flatly acknowledged him.

"Hi Eddie. Scanning the crowd for a conquest are you. I saw a couple of good lookers over that way before. Why don't you try them? I am sure they would be more than interested in the superstar Edward Cullen."

I took a deep breath. Do not let him bate you Edward, I instructed myself. "Now why would I want to do that Jacob, when I have everything I want in the one girl? You are fully aware that Bella and I are seeing one another. There is no way I would hurt or disrespect her by chasing after other girls."

"Well, that remains to be seen, but what about respecting her enough to actually acknowledge her presence as being important to you. How can you think it is alright to ignore her in public and then make out with her in private? It seems to me that you are hiding what's happening between you because you intend to get rid of her the instant something better comes along. I won't let you do that to her. She means too much to me."

I was shaking with my attempt to keep control of my temper as I stepped closer to him threateningly. He was really getting my goat up. As if he could talk about respecting Bella after the display he had produced only a short time ago.

"And you have shown nothing but respect towards Bella tonight? I would say that mauling her in public and then kissing her the way you did, knowing full well that she wouldn't want to make a scene by stopping you, was way out of line, Jacob so don't preach at me. I would never put her in that position, as you did. Understand something else, Jacob. There is no-one better than Bella. No-one. For that reason I do not envision letting go of her too easily, so don't go holding your breath in the hope that I will. It's not going to happen. For as long as Bella wants me, that is where I will be," For a brief moment I thought I saw pain cross Jacob's face and it made me think of how bad I would feel if our roles were reversed. To love her, and to not have her. I made my voice more reasonable as I continued, trying to ignore my previous exasperation with him.

"I know that the two of you are close so I do not want to get in the way of that. She thinks highly of you as her friend so I am going to explain my reasons for staying away from her in public. It's not about hiding her Jacob; I would much prefer that everyone knew what was happening between us – it's because I need to keep her safe from the media and from the stalkers. Don't you realize how quickly they would pounce on her if they thought she was romantically linked with me? And that is not even the worst of it because there is someone out there who will do anything to hurt me. I am not willing for Bella to be the way they do that."

Jacob looked at me uncertainly and I was wondering if he understood the depth of feeling I had for his friend. He appeared to be calculating whether he should believe my words or not and he finally made a decision. His words no longer held the sarcasm and contempt that they had previously; just a huge amount of concern.

"Well, if that is the case then why don't you stop this thing going any further? You could protect her by not being involved with her at all. If you are not together, then no-one has a reason to hurt her. She does not deserve to live like that Edward. Can't you see that?"

I was seeing a different side to Jacob now. He wasn't being the obnoxious man who was throwing his familiarity with Bella in my face. He really cared for Bella very deeply and although I wasn't comfortable with that knowledge, I understood it. He wanted to keep her safe just as I did. Like me, he didn't want to lose her to a situation that was well out of his control. I had to give him some courtesy for that reason alone.

"Yes I see that Jacob, but let me ask you….Would you be able to let her go if she wanted you?" The look on his face gave me the answer without him even having to speak. "I didn't think so. I have sincerely tried to keep my distance and it did not work. Now all I can do is try my hardest not to expose her to the negative parts of my life. I would much prefer to be doing that with her and my friends on our side, rather than against us."

"I am not sure I can do that. You're asking too much of me. I don't think I can just fucking stand aside and watch as her life gets turned upside down with the fame and the danger." Jacob's agitation meant he was finding it difficult to keep still and was trying so hard not to allow his constant movement to put me off.

"That's all the more reason why she needs both of us in her life. She will need her friend's support as well as the love I can provide her. Let's not force her into making a choice between the two of us," I wasn't willing to tell him that I already knew what Bella would do if she was made to make a choice. I had no doubt that it would be me. The bonds that we had forged were already unbreakable, even after such a short period of time. Bella would leave Jacob, even as it broke her heart to do so, if we asked her to choose. It was not something I wanted her to do and I hoped that Jacob would recognise the lack of need to force her hand. Surely we were all adult enough to live together; that was of course as long as Jacob kept his hands off her. I would not tolerate that.

"So just to get this straight, you are asking for a kind of truce so that we can both keep Bella in our lives?" He was still unsure of where to go with this.

"I guess I am,"

"You're willing to share her with me?" His voice was incredulous.

"No I am not willing to share her with you in a romantic sense, Jacob. In fact if you ever try that shit you attempted earlier tonight again, then I will happily tear your limbs from your body to ensure you never repeat the action." my voice indicated that I wasn't remotely kidding about that. Jacob absolutely needed to understand that I would not let that go ever again. "Bella belongs with me until she chooses otherwise. I do not want to see you fawning all over her. What I am willing to do is give her her friends. It's every bit as important as being in a relationship. She would be devastated if you told her you were no longer one." I let those words soak in before asking the question. "Can you be her friend and only her friend? It's your choice. She has already decided to be with me, so the romantic option is no longer available to you….. but friendship most definitely is."

The range of emotions that flitted across his face made me look away to give him some privacy. This was not easy for him but it had to be said and done. Unless Bella told me otherwise I would not be willing to accept him pursuing her as a partner.

"You really fucking love her, don't you? I did not think that was possible after such a short amount of time. I thought it was all about another piece of skirt for you," I went to angrily protest except he held up his hand and I became silent. "But I can see I was wrong about that too."

"Of course I love her. What is there not to love about that girl?" He flinched slightly at my words and I berated myself for rubbing that in, when he was down anyway.

"Well, I love her too. Always have; so I am going to accept your truce for Bella's sake. Doesn't mean I have to like that the two of you together and you have a long way to go to convince me that she is better off with you, but I am willing …….. to try. No more games Edward, I will keep my hands off her…. which is probably just as well because I think she is going to give me her own brand of punishment for my actions tonight. Treat her right, that's all I ask."

"You have my promise on that." He and I watched each other's faces for any sign of dishonesty but once we found none Jacob shoved his hands into his pocket and sauntered back towards his own group. No-one there appeared to have been interested in our encounter at all so I looked back towards where I had left Bella only to see her face furrowed in concern for what had just happened between me and her friend. I smiled encouragingly at her and made my way back to the group.

"Is everything ok?" Bella asked quietly when I was back at her side.

"It's fine. Jacob and I just got a better understanding of one another that is all. There is nothing for you to worry about," Bella looked over towards Jacob and I followed her gaze to see Jacob raise his drink to her and wink. She visibly relaxed.

"Oh thank god for that," she muttered under her breath and I was happy that she no longer felt the need to be concerned, but then her face changed again and she appeared flustered. "Great, just what I need," I shook my head at her to show that I did not understand and then I heard a nasally voice sneak up on me.

"Well hello Bella. It's been absolutely too long since I've seen you," She leant forwards to pretend to kiss both sides of Bella's face before turning to gawk at me. Bella's face had turned a crimson colour and I wondered why this girl would make her so embarrassed.

"As usual I can see that you have managed to grab the attention of all the boys around you, even though I personally can't see the fascination you hold. It's always been that way, hasn't it Bella?" the girl teetered and I instantly felt dislike for her. She was trying very hard to mock Bella. The next time she spoke she was addressing me and I tried to focus on what she was saying, pushing down the need to put her in place for Bella's sake.

"I am sure a worldly man such as yourself would be too clever to find Bella's innocent appeal act anything but annoying. We're not teenagers at school anymore, are we? You would want someone much more sophisticated than that, wouldn't you Edward?" The blonde haired girl was batting her eyelids at me as if she actually believed that I would find that attractive. I searched the faces around me and they all looked gob smacked. Who was this woman and why was she picking on Bella? "The rumours could not possibly be true that you two have a thing going on," What rumours had she heard? I thought we had been very discrete in ensuring no-one knew about us yet.

Bella was looking at the girl with distaste. "You obviously know of Edward, Lauren but he has never met you so let me introduce you to him. Edward, this is Lauren, an old acquaintance from high school. Lauren meet Edward. As for the rumours, I am pretty sure that a man of his caliber would have better taste than to date a mere mortal such as myself. I'm obviously not up to his standard." I heard the slight inflection and shake in her voice and stared at her in disbelief.

"Exactly Bella, that is what I told them when I heard the gossip. How could a man like Edward be with a plain little nobody such as yourself? Ridiculous really that it even started."

My face hardened into a mask of shock and reproach at Bella's words and Lauren's answer. Whatever had possessed her to put herself down in that way in front of everyone, particularly this witch of a girl named Lauren. It was one thing for us to pretend we weren't seeing each other. It was a completely different thing to have people having digs at her that she just accepted without any thought to her own words.

"So Edward I was wondering if you might like to join me and my friends over there for a quick drink. I am sure it will be so much more interesting than what is being offered here. No offence Angela, of course you're very important being the bride to be and all, I am just saying,"

I saw from the corner of my eye Ben become rigid at the insult Lauren had so flippantly laid on everyone standing within the group; friends and fiancé both. Angela took it all in her stride and answered before Ben could retaliate. "No offence taken Lauren, we all know perfectly well where you belong in the big scheme of things" Angela rolled her eyes at Bella and they both suppressed giggles.

"Well, I am waiting, would you like to come over with me?" she seemed like she was expecting an affirmative answer. I was buggered if I was going to give it to her.

"Thanks for the offer Lauren but I was in the middle of a discussion with my friends here so maybe another time," I tried to be polite but wasn't sure if the animosity I was feeling towards her was fully hidden.

"Oh come on Edward. You can't possibly prefer standing beside a bunch of nobodies such as Bella when you could be getting some relief at the other end of the yard with people who count." That nasally voice was getting on my nerves every time she opened her mouth. I could not stand people like her who, for some unknown reason believed they were better than those around them.

My eyes narrowed at her continuous attempt to belittle the people around us. I was harsher this time so that she would get the message loud and clear.

"I am extremely happy with the people I am with right here Lauren. I don't particularly feel like standing around with a bunch of snobs who haven't got anything better to do but big note themselves and belittle others. I get enough of that every day. I am exactly where I want to be, thanks," I positioned myself so that my back was to her and I began to talk to one of the girl's from Angela's college course who was trying hard to keep a straight face. I glanced at Bella to find she had a look of gleeful concentration on her face as if she was trying hard not to laugh at the retreating back of the rude Lauren.

When she was out of earshot I spoke to Angela. "Can someone please explain to me why that girl is even here? She is an incredibly rude and unattractive person. I can't imagine either you or Ben with friends like that."

"Thanks Edward. I will take that as a compliment. She's here because she is the daughter of my parent's friends and you know how it goes. You can't invite one without the other. It would be the height of rudeness. Be careful though Edward. You have just made an enemy with that little speech of yours."

"Oh well there are plenty of people here that are interesting and well worth knowing," I smiled at the group who were standing around me listening and Ben lifted his drink and we all followed suit.

"To the interesting people amongst us," He boomed and we all clapped our drinks together in merriment. This was where I would much prefer to be; I had not made the wrong choice at all.

As everyone laughed and carried on with their conversations I leant into Bella and spoke softly into her ear. "Don't ever let me hear you put yourself down like that again Bella." She looked at me a little startled and then nodded her head slowly as scarlet stained her cheeks. She and I would be discussing her ludicrous suggestion that I was too good for her as soon as possible. I was reeling from the ridiculous words she had uttered and needed to ensure she didn't really feel that way.

Jasper and Alice came over a short time later to join our merry circle. It was starting to get late and after eating we had all relaxed even further, telling tales about just about anything. Ben and Angela's friends were lovely on the most part and I was starting to relax into the casual atmosphere that was emanating from those around us. People were accepting the group of us with open arms as if we were old friends rather than new acquaintances and more than once I noted Bella's satisfied smile as she watched everyone's interactions around us. God she was beautiful and maybe no-one would notice if I took her arm and caressed it the way I knew she liked. The thought became lodged in my brain as I looked up to see her dad watching us with confusion and distrust. I sighed heavily and heaved myself out of the chair. It appeared that I was going to have to meet this uncomfortable feeling halfway. I moved towards the house as if I was in need of using the amenities and wasn't surprised to see Charlie follow me. Well this was it. Please let me handle this properly so that I didn't destroy his ability to take me in as an addition to his daughter's life. I wasn't feeling too confident of the right outcome.

We were standing in the hall way when he requested a quick word with me so we moved into the privacy of the dining room. I could hear the laughter and shouts coming from outside and wished I was out there again, instead of having this talk with Charlie. I didn't know what to expect from him. I didn't know if he was upset because he wanted something different for his daughter or if he disliked me for a different reason. I wouldn't have long to wait.

"So Edward. You and my daughter have begun to see each other I hear; not that you would be able to tell that from the way you've behaved tonight, mind you." Charlie was clearly confused about our lack of interaction tonight. Bella and he had obviously not spoken about our approach to the newness of our situation and he was completely in the dark about why we were hiding our relationship from everyone else.

"Yes, sir we have,"

"and do you think that is a good idea, given your lifestyle and the clear differences between the two of you? It seems to me that there is a lot to dislike about your way of living Edward. I am not so comfortable having Bella living like that. Wondering constantly where you are or who you're with; her being alone while you're on the road, having her caught up in your security scares like you're having right at this moment, the risk of her being hurt by a high flyer such as yourself when you've had enough of her."

There it was again. I tensed up at the insult that I had now endured twice tonight. Why was everyone assuming I was going to discard Bella like a piece of rubbish that I no longer wanted down the track? It would never be like that. She had stolen my heart unconditionally already. I couldn't imagine her not being around now.

"Well, we are kind of in the beginning stages of this whole thing and I admit that there are things we need to iron out but Chief Swan I promise you that I would not readily hurt her in any way. I do care about her, a lot."

"You don't care enough about her to stop her from being exposed to danger. You started dating and then left her on her own to deal with the possibility that this James character might show his hand and come after her. I've been communicating with your security team. I know that he has made threats towards Rosalie and Alice because of you. What if he came after Bella because he has seen the two of you together? How could you willingly let my daughter deal with that, on her own, while you continued on your little musical endeavours?" Charlie's face was becoming more and more furious as he stated his views. I could see his point, but he needed to know that it wasn't like that.

"I didn't leave her on her own. I provided her with security to ensure her safety. I would never, ever put Bella in jeopardy. There would always be someone watching out for her if I am not available. Always,"

He looked at me unconvinced. "Is Bella even aware of this?"

"Am I aware of what?" My head snapped towards the door when I heard her ask the question. I knew I was in trouble now because I had very stupidly failed to let Bella know about her shadow of the past couple of weeks. It was such a normal part of my life that I hadn't even stopped to question whether she would be alright with it or not. Her safety had been paramount to me and I had done what I needed to ensure it. Something told me she wasn't going to see it like that.

Charlie looked uncomfortable but then steeled himself for the wrath he was about to unleash. "Are you aware that Edward has assigned you your own personal bodyguard to make sure nothing happens to you while he's not around?"

I watched with bleak fascination as all colour drained from her face and she blinked in surprise. She looked at me in question before holding herself up straighter and answering him with the last thing I had imagined she would.

"Of course I am aware dad. Edward would never do that to me without running it past me first. We decided together" she emphasized the word together as she stared at me accusingly before she turned back to her father "that it would be the best course of action considering everything going on." The innocent act she was giving her father was nothing short of amazing and he was looking at her as if she had grown two heads.

"And you didn't think to let me know that you had someone trailing you. I'm a cop for god's sake. You didn't think that I would notice some strange person watching you from afar. It's in my training to notice things like that Bella. I have been watching this guy monitoring your every move for the past couple of days and was about to bring him in for questioning when I realized he was from Jasper's team of security. You could have at least made sure I was aware of what was going on Bella."

Bella was looking at the floor. "I am sorry dad. I guess it just slipped my mind with all the other things going on and it didn't seem like something to worry about. The guy is so invisible to me that I almost didn't even know he was there." Again she glared at me in protest and I felt bad that she was taking the brunt of Charlie's anger when it should be entirely upon me. I was about to come clean with Charlie and let him know that Bella was trying to protect me; that she hadn't known what was happening because I had neglected to tell her, when she made her way to my side and placed her hand on my arm as if silently pleading for me to remain quiet.

"Look dad. I am well and truly an adult now and I can make my own choices about what is right or wrong for me. I agree that I should have told you; it was stupid of me not to; and I will make sure that in future I let you know about these types of things. However when it comes down to it, Edward and I are together and if I have to accept his offer of a bodyguard to ensure peace of mind, then I will."

"Bells I am not sure you know what you are getting into with being with someone like Edward. It can only end in heartache. Please think about that before you make any further decisions. You have options here in Forks; you don't need to be involved with someone who can't ensure your safety."

"He can ensure my happiness dad. No-one else can. That's all there is to it. Please let me do this my way."

Charlie saw that there was no point in arguing any further and looked at me in resignation. I was feeling far from victorious at this point. I felt I had driven a wedge between Bella and her father from my lapse of judgement and now my inability to tell him the truth. "Please be careful with her Edward. She is my only daughter," I forced myself to look into his eyes and nod silently before he walked out of the room and left us with our own thoughts. For the first time I actually dreaded being alone with Bella.

Bella didn't speak straight away but I could see her battling with her anger and knew she was going to explode at any moment. All I could do was wait.

"You have had someone follow me for over two weeks, without even telling me," her low shriek of disdain cut to my very core. "How could you do that to me? Do you know how it feels to know that someone has been watching your every move and you weren't even aware of it? Bloody hell Edward, at what point did you think you were going to tell me that I was being stalked by one of your men? I bet you've had some great stories come your way about what I have been up to and well shit, I needn't have told you about the kiss with Jacob because you probably already had that one reported to you." She stopped for breath and I took the opportunity to try and calm her down.

"It's not like that Bella. They would never tell me anything about your private life. It's not that kind of thing. Their job is purely to ensure that no-one tries to harm you in any way. I promise that your privacy has not been breached."

"How can you even say that, Edward? They were following me all the time. Shit; they know everything I do; what time I go to bed, what time I wake up, they know what I had for breakfast and who I spoke to at every moment of the day. Do not frigging dare tell me that my privacy is still intact. God I can not believe this. I am so unbelievably angry that I don't even want to speak to you right now." She might have been willing to lie to her father so that he wasn't aware that I had made this awful mistake but she wasn't going to let me off so lightly. The hysteria in her voice was building now and she was completely red in the face with anger. "You had absolutely no right to do this to me. None. I can't be with you right now. I need to breath properly," She escaped blindly out the door pushing aside my hands as I reached out to her. She ignored my entreaty to stop; to listen to me; that I was sorry; so all I was left with was the disconcerting thought that I had managed to ruin any chance of a relationship with the person I cared about the most in this world. I was a fool. A fool that had no idea what would come next.


	22. Chapter 22: Unexpected Reactions

**A huge thank you to Mamato who has been giving me such passionate responses to my chapters. I love that you take the time to review this story even though parts of it are annoying you ;) Hopefully the chapters coming up will make things a little clearer for you.**

**Would love to hear anyone else's views too if you are so inclined to do so. I will apologise in advance for the fact this story does have its fair share of angst. I can't help myself – not everything in life is all rosy so I don't write it as if it is; my characters will make lots of mistakes but don't we all??????**

**Thanks for reading!**

Chapter 22

EPOV – Unexpected reactions

Of course I followed her but it did me no good. Bella was furious and given the surroundings we were in I couldn't possibly speak to her to make things right without exposing our secret to the world. Bella had every right to be angry with me but it wasn't something I wanted to sleep on tonight – for either of us.

By the time I got back outside Bella was doing the rounds and claiming she had a headache and needed to go home to bed. I felt the concern rise within me. I was entirely aware that she was making a getaway because she did not want to deal with me and any further lies but I also wondered if maybe the night had taken a greater toll on her than just the whole security debacle. If she felt anything like I did, the whole night had been stressful and that well could have led to her feeling ill. She might be leaving but it would not be the last she saw of me tonight. I needed to ensure she was ok.

Her goodbye to me was fleeting and I gave her a gentle look of appeal, trying to convey with my eyes only how sorry I was for what I had done. She didn't waver in her anger and I was left with an image of Bella I had never seen before. I had not only angered her but I had broken her trust and that was going to be the hardest thing for her to accept. I watched, forlorn, as she said goodbye to Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie as if she was on autopilot. Emmett sent me a questioning look, not used to the listless person in front of us and I shook my head in response.

Jasper's innate need to keep everyone safe came to the fore. "Bella would you like me to escort you home since you're leaving on your own?"

Her tone was scathing as she answered him. "I have managed to keep myself safe for twenty two years Jasper, without your help. I am more than capable of continuing to do that without you having to escort me home. Besides, apparently I already have my very own babysitter. Let him earn his living, hey?"

Jasper's face showed that he had just realized what Bella's problem was and he stepped back a pace so not to exasperate her any more. "Ok Bella. I was just asking. I can see that you would prefer to be alone right now anyway."

"Hmph. Whenever am I alone now Jasper?" and she swirled on her feet and left the party in a mess of negative emotions.

My family all came to stand by me and we spoke in hushed whispers about what had just happened.

"Did you know about this?" Rosalie sent an accusing look at Emmett and he held up his hands in denial.

"I knew nothing. You know what I am like. I only get told things if I really need to know. Edward obviously did what he thought he needed to do," Emmett smiled uncertainly at me and I knew he was trying to support me, even if he didn't believe I had done the right thing.

Alice was looking between Jasper and myself and sighed heavily. "If either of you had bothered to let us know what you were doing we would have given you some much needed advice. I guess it was stupid of us to not think of it really. Of course you were going to try and keep her safe but doing it behind her back….. that is not on, guys."

Jasper returned Alice's gazes looking a little abashed. Alice was trying to be understanding. Rosalie had no such qualms.

"Well Edward, you deserve everything you get. What on earth made you think it was ok to place a security guard into her life without even discussing it with her?" Rosalie was her usual blunt self. "If I was her I would never speak to you again. You've been extremely stupid."

"Gosh Rosalie, don't hold back will you. I don't actually want to hear that Bella might never speak to me again. I did it to keep her safe."

"Yeh well. Imagine if she had realized that someone was on her trail all the time. She would have been frightened for no good reason. Start treating the girl with a bit more respect Edward. She is an adult who is in charge of her own life. Why would she think it is alright for you to take control?"

"I was only trying to protect her," Even to my own ears my voice sounded weak.

"No-one is disputing that she needs protection, if she is going to hang around with the likes of us, but let her know that she is being protected …….and how about this," Rosalie was becoming sarcastic and I could tell she was angry for Bella's sake. "How about actually letting her know why she needs the protection, rather than just telling her she has to have it. Maybe if she understands the risks she will be more willing to accept what you are offering."

No. I didn't want to share that part of my life with Bella yet. I knew I would have to eventually. Just not yet. We were only getting to know one another. All of a sudden the bonds that I had thought were so unbreakable earlier tonight seemed particularly vulnerable at the moment. Chances were that Bella would not forgive me for this one.

Alice intervened before Rosalie and I got into a fight about this particular point. "Don't you think you should go after her and make sure she is alright? She looked so angry and upset Edward. I'll cover for you and I will try to keep Charlie here for a while longer so that you can speak in private"

I knew she was right so I left the party with as little fanfare as possible. Emmett and Rosalie left with me so that it didn't look as suspicious as me leaving alone. They, however, were heading home whilst I was going straight to Bella's house.

When I got there I found her house in complete darkness and there was no sign of Bella's truck or Grant, the security guard that I knew to be assigned to her. I began to feel dread in the pit of my stomach at what could have possibly stopped her from arriving home in the time she had been gone from the party. There was no reason for her not to be here yet. I tried not to panic. She might have stopped at the shops or something; although that didn't make sense, because most of Forks would be closed down at this late hour of the evening. I sat paralyzed in my Volvo wondering what I should do next. I had expected her to be here. I had been expecting to have to grovel and explain the choices I had made. I had never imagined that I would be sitting here, alone, looking at a darkened house wondering where the hell Bella had disappeared to. I reached for my phone and rang Alice. After determining that Bella had not returned there, I put my car into gear and drove slowly through the streets to see if I could see any sign of her truck in case she had broken down or something. No luck.i Suddenly the mobile in the seat next to me rang and I grabbed it as quickly as I could. Maybe it was Bella. I looked at the ID to find that it wasn't. It was Rose.

"Rose I can't find Bella. She didn't make it home and I've searched the streets but I haven't……."

"She's with us Edward. Calm down. She is at our house. We found her waiting for you on the porch having a good old chat to Grant. Maybe you should come home now?"

Grant – how had I not thought of ringing him to find out where they were? My concern for Bella had turned my brain to mush. The hysterical relief that filled me, with Rosalie's words, was beyond anything I had ever experienced before. All kinds of appalling scenarios had gone through my head thinking that Bella had been in danger and I had been unsuccessful in protecting her. James was on top of that list and the thought that this could have turned out differently sobered me with concern. Jacob was right; I really should have just left Bella alone and she would never ever have to worry about these kinds of things at all. It was too late for that.

When I pulled the car into the driveway I quickly exited the car and bound up the front steps. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting in the lounge room quietly conversing but as I entered they both looked up at me and laughed at the anxious expression on my face.

"Dude relax. Bella is upstairs in your room. She has a headache so Rosalie gave her some tablets and she went up there to wait for you in the silence. Go easy on the poor girl. She has had quite a night I think."

"Thanks guys," I called over my shoulder as I took the stairs two at a time to get to my room. One thing was paramount in my mind right now and that is why Bella had come to our house when she had been so angry with me before she left Angela's. It did not make sense.

As I approached my room I slowed my pace considerably and wondered what I would be greeted with once I opened the door. At least we would have privacy to have this discussion because I really did have to make her see the seriousness of my security concerns for her, even though I had gone about it the wrong way.

What I was greeted with, as I opened that door, was the most breathtakingly beautiful sight of Bella asleep on my bed. She was breathing the deep breaths of sleep as I quietly approached the side of the bed. She looked so perfect lying in my bed that I found it hard to look away. I had never seen her asleep; so at peace with the world; and the luminance of her skin seemed so pronounced against the darkness of my quilt cover. She had her arms tucked in under her head and her hair was splayed against her face in wild abandon. Her face was completely relaxed in sleep so the anger and hurt I had witnessed before she had left me was no longer there; just serenity and it was beautiful. I reached out to touch her deep red lips but my hand fell short of my target. I did not want to wake her when it was so obvious that this was what she needed. Besides, she was angry at me, so wouldn't appreciate me taking liberties while she was asleep even if they were purely innocent ones.

I watched her carefully as I changed from my clothes into more comfortable tracksuit pants and a tee shirt. She slightly stirred a couple of times but she never woke and the coward in me was thankful for that. As soon as she woke I knew we were going to have to deal with her anger and I wasn't looking forward to that.

I sat myself down at the desk where I usually composed my songs and tried to distract myself from her presence in my bed by writing. It was so hard to ignore the natural pull I had to be beside her, so that I could feel her against me and hear her heart beating rhythmically in her sleep. I idly wondered how long I should let her sleep. Charlie would begin to worry about her if she didn't return home at some point. I was going to have to wake her eventually. I was willing to wait for eventually to come later and turned back to my writing.

"Edward," her soft voice sounded lost and I quickly turned away from what I was doing to see her looking at me through half closed eyelids. She was still half asleep. "I'm angry with you,"

I remained frozen in my seat. "I know,"

"But I am too tired to worry about it now,"

"Ok," That wasn't what I had expected.

"I'm going back to sleep," Her voice was nearly inaudible as she slurred her words together. I wasn't sure what I should do.

"Ah, sure, but what about Charlie?"

She didn't hear me. I went over to her and this time I could not resist planting a light kiss on her forehead. She sighed gently and I almost thought I heard her say thank you but I couldn't be sure. I guessed I was going to have to break the news to Charlie that Bella was staying the night. I quietly made my way out of the room and headed downstairs to ask Rosalie what her advice was for this situation. She took it in hand and made the call herself. I listened in awe as she confidently let Charlie know that Bella had fallen asleep at our house due to her headache and the medication she had given her. Rosalie promised Charlie that Bella was more than fine where she was but we were just letting him know so he didn't worry.

"Simple," Rosalie said breezily as she shut the phone off. "He was happy to know that she was safe and sound in bed,"

"I bet he wouldn't be so happy if he actually thought about which bed she is in," Emmett teased and Rosalie sighed.

"At our age one would hope that our parents aren't thinking about that kind of thing. What they don't know won't hurt them and something tells me that Charlie Swan likes to keep his head buried in the sand when it comes to his daughter anyway."

"Thanks Rosalie. I owe you,"

"Yes you do and I will make sure I make it worth my while Edward."

When I returned to my room Bella had not budged an inch. Those tablets really must have knocked her for a six. I sat back at my desk realising that it was going to be a very long night for me, so I contented myself with writing the song that was magically appearing under my fingertips as I sat there and thought of the girl in my bed. I was so engrossed in the words flowing from my brain that I didn't register that Bella had got up and was by my side until she was almost in my lap.

"Are you ok Bella?" Before I had the words out she had climbed into my lap and had her head resting against my chest in the most adorably childish manner, that I couldn't help but laugh. The laugh didn't last long though because she spoke and I was suddenly conflicted.

"Come and hold me Edward," Her chocolate eyes were warm with the combination of sleep and need. "I shouldn't be taking your bed away completely."

"That's ok Bella. I am taking the opportunity to write. You can sleep without worrying about me," Oh god if she only knew how badly I would like to crawl into bed with her and just hold her the whole night through.

"Please Edward I want you next to me. I want to wake up in your arms," She was snuggling into the crook of my neck now and the soft feeling of her made me all too aware of other reasons I should just say no to her. She was too desirable and I wasn't intending on taking the next step with her while she was angry and half grogged out on medication.

"Bella, you're angry with me remember?"

"Aha and we can sort that out in the morning but for now I just really want you with me while I sleep. I don't want to think about anger and hurt; just good things and the feel of you. Please."

I couldn't resist her need, and in all honesty I couldn't resist my own, so I carried her back to my bed and placed myself next to her so that my arms were around her and we were lying face to face. Her eyes were slipping closed but she appeared to be trying to keep them open as she gazed at my face. "You know that besides not discussing security issues with me you are pretty amazingly close to perfect, don't you?"

I shook my head at her. "I'm sorry Bella. I am far from perfect and you should be angry with me not giving me compliments,"

She smiled a sleepy smile "Oh my mother taught me never to go to bed angry so I won't, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook Edward Cullen. Tomorrow we need to talk."

I didn't bother to respond because it was clear to me that she had fallen back to sleep so I took her petite hand away from my cheek, where it was resting, and held it against my own chest in adoration. I did not stop flitting my fingertips across the skin of her lower back where her top had ridden up. The feel of it was exquisite. Tomorrow could take all the time it needed to get here because, at the moment, I was exactly where I wanted to be; in Bella's arms while she slept and dreamt of the things she deserved.

* * *

Sleep came eventually, but not until after a lot of soul searching about the girl sleeping beside me. Every little movement from her made my own body respond in a pleasurable way; every time she uttered a sound I listened with an intensity that demonstrated just how in tune I wanted to be with her. Having Bella in my bed was both heaven and just a small touch of hell. Heaven because she was everything I wanted and being beside her in such a relaxed and peaceful manner felt so right. Hell because I was a mere man and she brought up feelings and needs within me that I knew we weren't ready to explore together yet. It was driving me wild, just thinking about it.

Gradually waking up to the small circles of sensation she was tracing on my chest through my tee shirt, combined with the fact that half her body was lying across mine, so that my arms were placed around her, was the best part of heaven there was. I moaned softly and Bella raised her head and looked directly at me with a grin on her face. The grin was much better than the anger I was expecting.

"Good morning sleepy head. Did you sleep ok?"

"When I slept – yes perfectly well thanks," I placed my hand over her circling fingers to stop the movement. There was only so much that a person could take when it came to pleasure that couldn't be followed through upon.

"I'm sorry I invaded your bed Edward. I wasn't thinking straight last night. I shouldn't have made you stay with me like this,"

I tightened my arms around her to show that I was telling the truth. "Bella, there is no need to apologise. I quite enjoyed the experience of having you in my bed and waking up to you. I must admit that I was surprised that you had come here though. I had gone to your house to try and make things right and you weren't there."

"Yes well. I drove home and it didn't seem right. I guess I needed to see you. I couldn't leave it the way it was. I had every intention of nutting this whole thing out with you but once I was here and Rosalie gave me the tablets for the headache I just felt so worn out and tired. Last night was too much; pretending that you and I mean nothing to one another, Jacob putting on the whole possession act, Lauren's nasty words, you arguing with my dad and then finding out that you had omitted to tell me what is going on in my own life, I wasn't in the best frame of mind and really all I wanted to do was be with you. Things seem so much better when you are beside me Edward. Does that make any sense?"

Bella had risen from her lying down position as she had started talking so I followed suit and we were now sitting cross legged across from one another, taking in each other's appearance.

"Yes it makes sense Bella because I feel the same way when I am with you. All I can say is that I am sorry. I keep making mistakes when it comes to you,"

"It was a pretty big mistake Edward. You took control of my life without any kind of thought to how I would feel about that. You didn't even give me a choice."

"Would you have let me do it if I had asked?" I asked in all seriousness.

"Regardless of what my answer would have been you should have still given me the option. You can't just say 'oh Bella won't let me do this so I am just going to go ahead and do it anyway.' It doesn't work like that Edward. This is my life we are talking about."

"But I needed you to be safe."

"I know that, Edward and it is why I would have agreed to it, for you, if I had known the reasons. Which, by the way, I am expecting from you now. You can't tell me that there is not more than simple fame forcing you to put bodyguards onto me. You've flippantly mentioned some type of threat being made against you and now I want to know what it is – all of it. No moddle coddling Edward. I have made the decision to be with you and unless I am very much mistaken you have made the same decision about me. So that leaves us with the fact that I need to know what is going on. I need to be able to protect myself and not walk into the unknown. I need to know that everything possible is being done to keep you safe as well. I am frightened that I am going to lose you when I only just found you."

I wanted to wipe the fear from her eyes but it wouldn't be that easy. She was right. If we were going to make this work Bella needed to know what she was up against; what had happened in my past to bring this upon us.

The heaviness was pushing down on me and I needed some space to help me get through this. Who knew how Bella would react to my admissions. Maybe she would no longer want to be with me but that was her decision and I could no longer hide away from that fact.

"Ok, but would you mind if we freshened up first and maybe had some breakfast? It is a long story and I need some sustenance to get through it.

"Fine by me." She reached out to stop me from getting off the bed immediately. " You do know though that you have nothing to fear from me don't you Edward? I would never ever share the things you tell me with anyone else. I would never hold it against you."

I trusted her explicably. It wasn't about that. My fear was for what she would think of me, not for the possibility that she would share it with the world. I didn't speak, just pulled her up off the bed and gave her a quick hug before heading into the bathroom. I was going to have to face my demons soon enough.

We shared breakfast with my family as if it was the most natural thing in the world for Bella to be there after a night in my room. For once Emmett kept his taunts to himself and allowed Bella not to be embarrassed by being here. Alice had given Bella a fresh set of clothes to wear and Bella had rung her father before we had eaten to make sure he knew she was fine. All in all, the morning would have been perfect except for that the fact that I was about to open up to the woman I loved about something I had inadvertently done years ago. As much as Bella was an understanding person I was not sure she would be willing to keep going with our relationship if she knew the danger she was in.

But I owed it to her, and she deserved to make her own decisions, so I would tell her and then I would desperately hope.

i had brohad brohad brohad brohad brohad bro


	23. Chapter 23: Revelations

**What's the story with Victoria, you ask? Well here it is so do enjoy.**

**I said in the A/N of the last chapter that my characters will make mistakes – I wanted to just say that of course they are Stephanie Meyers characters and I am only playing with them – but yes they still make mistakes.**

**Would be more than happy to make my own mistake with Edward if he was so inclined…….**

……**..and if you have something to say about the story I am more than willing to hear it **

Chapter 23

EPOV – Revelations

We were in Esme's garden again. We'd spent a fair amount of time here since the night of our first real kiss and I was hoping the memory of it would outweigh what I was about to tell her. She was waiting patiently for me to start as we sat under the huge tree, down the very back. I thought about Alice's last words to me before we had left the refuge of the house. "Tell her how it was Edward, not how you see it now," Was there a difference? She apparently thought so. I would do my best to heed her words but I knew it would come out the way it came out.

My eyes were drawn to Bellas as we sat together. All hers held was understanding and a desire to know. Mine would probably hold recriminations, guilt and the desire to hide, if I had the need to see myself in a mirror. I took a deep breath and began.

"There is a threat Bella. A pretty big one. His name is James and he is after me and he will not stop at anything to get what he wants - revenge against me, even if that means hurting the people I care about most in the world." I waited for her question but none came. She was looking at me intently, waiting for more, but silently, giving me the time to say what I would.

"He sent me a picture of all of us and a question mark over Rosalie and Alice's face. He asked me which one and threatened to take away something I loved because I had done that to him. If he gets to either one of them he will hurt them badly or maybe even kill them."

"Why?"

"Because I had a hand in his girlfriend's death. As far as he is concerned, I killed her." The words were hard to say to such a loving and giving person such as Bella and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I didn't want to see the condemnation in her eyes. I stared into the woods in front of us but didn't really see them at all. Her light touch where her hand covered mine in support startled me, but I still couldn't meet her eyes.

"I think you better start at the beginning Edward" and she squeezed my hand gently in encouragement.

_Victoria was a beautiful, red haired girl with sad amber eyes and she meant nothing to me; just another fan who sent me letter after letter asking for us to meet, telling me that she was in love with me and that she needed to get away from her abusive boyfriend; that only I could help her. I ignored these cries for help from her because I had learnt along time ago that in this business, everyone was out for something and they were more than willing to use lies to get it. So I stayed detached from her ever lengthening proclamations of love and need, the many photos she sent of herself and put them to the back of the recesses of my mind. Whenever a letter came from her I would put it aside, telling myself that it was just a way for her to get my attention, that it wasn't really true and she would get over her crush before too long. It was easier for me that way._

_But soon she was coming to our concerts every night and somehow managed to get front row seats every time. It made me feel uncomfortable to watch the adoration on her face as she zoned in on me and I understood now that this girl had gone beyond the normal adoration for a well liked singer. She was obsessed with me and constantly threw things at me on stage in the hope I would pick them up and show some sort of recognition. I never did. I did not want to deal with some freaky person who was trying to live her life through some fantasy world she had set up, based around me. After about a week, she somehow got through our security and got backstage where she found me alone in my dressing room. She begged and pleaded with me to return her love and to take her away from the miserable world she lived in. She believed I was the only one strong enough to do so. I sat her down and tried to reason with her, explaining that I didn't know her and that she couldn't possibly be in love with me. She tried kissing me but I rejected her advances as gently as I could. She wailed as if I had broken her heart and kept pleading for me to understand what she was going through. She told me that her boyfriend would kill her if he knew that she was here with me and that she had been coming all week. I didn't think much of that accusation because quite frankly I wouldn't be too happy if my girlfriend was telling some stranger that she loved him either, and I didn't think she meant it literally. Jasper had come in then and taken stock of the situation before he went to get security to escort the girl off our premises. When the guy came to help out she became hysterical saying that this was her last chance at life and I needed to help her. She clung onto my neck and it was hard for me to disengage from her. That was when I noticed the bruises all up and down her arm and the ones that ringed her neck and throat. This girl was obviously being abused in some atrocious manner and she wanted me to help her. I couldn't just let her go without at least offering her something._

"_Victoria. This is not about you loving me; this is about you needing help. I can help you get that but you are going to have to be the one to follow up on it. No-one deserves to be beaten up, especially by the person who professes to love them,"_

"_You don't understand, if I go home he will hurt me again. You are my only chance."_

"_What about the police? They could help protect you,"_

"_They can't. If he knew that I had done that, he would definitely kill me and not in any kind of pleasant way." The tone of Victoria's voice indicated defeat and absolute fear and it made me think that what she said was highly likely._

"_Victoria, I think it is your only option. You can't go home and you can't stay with me. I am sorry it is just not possible. Laurent is our manager; I could get him to take you down to the station and then arrange for you to stay in a women's refuge for the night. They can help protect you there. They will know what to do for you."_

_The look of despair she gave me as she left with Laurent burnt its place into my consciousness and I couldn't rid of it easily. I don't know what possessed her to see me as her knight in shining armour but it was clear to me that when she left that night, she did so without getting out of me what she thought she needed to survive. Laurent had followed through on every part of my suggestion to her. He took her to the police station where she filed a report. He took her to a refuge where they assured him that they would look after her and then he reported back to me that she was in capable hands. Somehow it did not make me feel better. I probably should have done something for her before this late stage. I should not have ignored her cries for help in her letters or in the fact that she made herself known to me every night for over a week._

_She killed herself that night, leaving a letter to detail just how deep her hurt went. Laurent made a deal with the police to ensure that the letter was never published but they had shown it to me when I was hauled in for questioning the next day and it made me aware that this was my fault._

_The pain never leaves me so this is the only way._

_The man who professes to love me, hurts me in every way imaginable._

_Edward Cullen, the man I love does not love me back and therefore can not help me. He tried but it just doesn't work like that._

_Bringing in the police is like a death knoll for me so I choose to do it myself and not have it done at the hands of a person who loves and despises me at the same time._

_Death can't possibly hurt as much as life does._

_Victoria_

_If only I had not convinced her to go to the police, if only I had allowed her to stay with the girls for the night, if only I hadn't left it so late to try and help her. Victoria was dead and it was all my fault….. that would turn out to be what James thought also._

A pair of chocolate brown eyes were watching my face carefully with concern. My own eyes instantly flicked away from the opportunity of drowning in those beautiful pools of warmth rather than have to deal with any recriminations that were sure to appear at any moment. A few moments passed with neither of us speaking at all but Bella had never removed her hand from mine and I wanted to believe that it was a good sign.

"Edward. What she did was not your fault. You weren't responsible for her. You weren't responsible for her death either."

I wanted to believe what she said, but I knew better. I had been living with the guilt for over two years now, always wondering what I could have done differently to stop her from taking such drastic measures to get out of a bad situation. There were always other options and I hadn't done any of them.

"I should have helped her Bella. I should have made sure she was safe, rather than leave it up to someone else. She came to me and I failed her." The unfairness of it made me shudder with remorse.

"You did try to help her Edward. Most people wouldn't even have attempted what you did. If this James person is anything like he is coming across to me – sending death threats and the such – the poor girl was in a dilemma she wasn't going to get out of easily with or without your help. If anyone should be feeling guilty, it should be him. He was the one hurting her; he was the one who drove her to that. Not you"

Bella had lifted my face gently with those hands of hers so that our eyes met and her words reflected what my own family had been saying for such a long time. I could not doubt her belief in me, as I allowed myself to dwell in the evident sincerity of her eyes, and it was almost like a very small part of the hole I had been cultivating in my heart had closed over with her understanding. She was my first step in removing the guilt I had been harbouring for way too long. A tiny weight lifted off my shoulders with that knowledge but it didn't help the situation at hand.

"Thank you Bella," I said simply "but it doesn't change that my family, and now you, have to watch their backs every minute of the day because of what happened back then. James wants me to pay. He believes it was my fault Victoria died and obviously in his own warped way he loved her. He wants revenge. He had worked out that the best way to do that is to hurt someone I l…..care about." I quickly covered my accidental slip of the tongue. I didn't need Bella to think that I was putting pressure on her so soon within our relationship. Besides, when I told Bella I loved her I wanted it to be perfectly timed; not during a less than savoury admission of how I had got myself into this mess.

"Ok, so tell me how he came to know of you and manage to find a way to put his own guilt onto you, because that is all he is doing Edward. People like him never own up to their own mistakes and never ever take responsibility for what they have done. They need to blame someone and it is never themselves." Bella's tone was scathing and I could tell she was truly angry with this person she did not even know for making me, and my family, so unhappy.

_When the police asked me to come down to the station to answer some questions about a woman named Victoria, my heart had sunk with the realization that something bad had happened to her in the short time since I had last seen her. Jasper and Emmett offered to come down with me and I was glad for their support. Laurent was going to meet us there as well, since he had been the one to take her to the police the night before. It wasn't until I was sitting across from a very professional police officer who was asking me what the nature of my relationship had been with Victoria, that I realized just how serious the harm that had come to her was. The police officer placed the letter written by Victoria in front of me and nothing could prepare me for the absolute pain her words brought to me. She was a near stranger to me and yet here I was linked to her in a negative manner that I could not begin to fathom. She named me as the person she loved and I actually felt guilty that I could not have felt the same way for her, even though I was more than convinced that what she felt was love was actually just desperation to find someone to save her. The police appeared to have come to the same conclusion as me, once they heard my side of how I had met Victoria and what the resulting visit to the police by her and Laurent had been about. They cleared me of any wrong doing almost instantly and apologized for dragging me into the case but explained that they had to make sure that this was definitely a suicide, as the evidence suggested, or if something more sinister had been played out. I had wanted to scream at them; not because I was upset about being implicated in the possibility of foul play but because there was a reason that Victoria had killed herself and it was her violent boyfriend. Surely they could make sure that he was punished for what he had done to her before her death. I left the room feeling not only guilty and upset, but really angry. It didn't help matters that upon exiting we came face to face with an agitated man who could only be James. _

"_Him – he is the reason Victoria is dead. Him – Edward Cullen. The person who destroyed our relationship and tried to turn her against me. The only reason I had to keep her in line was because of him. I never would have hit her if he hadn't been having an affair with her. She needed to be punished. She needed to know she couldn't do that to me." His eyes were red rimmed and held a wild look that was somewhat disconcerting. When he met my angry gaze with his own I saw red and lunged at him. If it hadn't been for Jasper recognizing my intent, I would have been on top of him in my own guilt ridden attempt to hurt him for what he had done to her, and what he was accusing me of. Both Emmett and Jasper held me back and Jasper's soothing words worked as they always did - I almost instantaneously realized who I was and what I should be doing. I walked stiffly away from James and tried to not let his words prick at my conscious. I failed._

"_You killed her Cullen. If it hadn't been for your interference in our lives, she would still be alive today." The venom in his voice let me know that I would not hear the end of him so I wasn't surprised with the repercussions that occurred after that. Laurent managed to keep our involvement in the situation out of the media which I was eternally grateful for. They would have made all our lives even more of a hell, than it currently felt for me, if they had known there was some kind of star crossed lover scenario happening, even if that was not the truth of it. My guilt became all encompassing as I thought over what James had said to me and what my own thoughts were. I should have dealt with the situation differently so that it didn't turn into a fatal mistake, but how was I to know? I wasn't aware that Victoria had been using me as her attempt out of a bad life. I didn't know she was being hurt because her boyfriend believed that we had something going on. I wished furtively for the ability to attend her funeral out of respect but everyone vetoed the idea before I could make a concrete decision about it. I knew they were right. It would only make things worse but it was another thing for me to feel guilty about – the inability to treat Victoria as if she mattered to someone, even if that someone did not know her at all._

_In lieu of attending the funeral I went to visit the place she was buried one night while I was alone. That was where James first threats against me came. He let me know that I was going to pay and he was going to get great joy out of making it happen when I least expected it. After he left me that night I began to get more and more threats, all directed only at me. I accepted them for what they were – a grieving man trying to find an outlet for his pain. We went to the police but without proof they said they could not do anything and James was very good at covering his bases. The police told us that our lifestyle leant itself to crazy people trying to make contact and they were right. James' threats weren't the only bizarre letters or items that came our way. All we could do was ensure our security was at its best and that the people Jasper chose to ensure our safety were trustworthy. So the threats came and nothing was followed through on – whether that was because of our heightened protection or because James was enjoying his little mind games, more than actually harming me, is still not clear. However after a while I stopped receiving any kind of threats from him and life became a waiting game for the time when he would decide that he needed to start again. _

I became angry at my own thoughts. "That has happened now but this time he has upped the ante – he has worked out that the best way of hurting me is not to threaten me but to threaten Alice and Rosalie. If anything happened to them and not me, the guilt I experienced with Victoria would pale into insignificance. I would not be able to live with myself; there is no two ways about it."

Bella spoke softly. "Do you really think he will hurt them or do you think he is just trying to make your life miserable with the thought of it?"

" I really don't know Bella. We're talking about a man who was willing to beat his girlfriend, so it is apparent that he has a violent streak. There was something manic about him that makes me think he is capable of anything. I have seen him a few times over the years for brief moments and the wildness that surrounds him has not left at all." I sighed with regret. "Either way I am not willing to risk it. Any threat from him is taken seriously by us and I will do anything to protect my friends and family. Anything."

Bella shuddered involuntarily and I pulled her towards me so that she could rest against my chest and I took the time to just enjoy the contact. I was too aware that we now had to come to a decision. I had told her my part in Victoria's death and the danger now posed because of it. It was entirely up to her if she was willing to keep seeing me now that she knew this information.

"Maybe I could speak to my father and he could do something to get this James off your back," Bella asked hopefully as she lifted her head away to look me in the face.

"Your dad has been great Bella; he has been so good about supporting our security team in this matter but it is not something that can be fixed so easily. We have no idea where James is at any given time; he seems to be very skilled at evasion. I see him at times and then he disappears almost straight away. Without proof the police are not willing to put resources into it and I don't blame them for that. I do not wish your dad to cross the line on my part at all. He is doing his best to keep us all safe while we are here in Forks but once we continue with our tour he does not need to worry about us at all. The problem is this Bella; he knows what is going on and he is scared that you are being brought into it. He does not want to see you get hurt and I have to agree that he is right in worrying about that. I really had no right to start this whole thing in the first place knowing the danger I was putting you in. Maybe we should…….."

Bella gripped my arm in fear "Please don't talk like that Edward. You are making it sound like you are saying goodbye. Don't let James ruin what we have. He has no right to do this to you. Don't let him win by making me stop seeing you."

Pain ripped through my chest at Bella's words. Was that what I intended on doing? Was I going to force us apart, just when we had found one another, so that I could be one hundred percent sure that James could not get at her? I thought about the last few weeks and how content and happy I felt when Bella was around. I had never, ever felt like that with anyone. Could I throw that away? The answer should be yes, if it meant she would be better off for it in the long run, but I knew I couldn't do it. She was already too entrenched in my needs. I wanted to be the one to make her happy.

"Bella, you need to understand that if James finds out about you, he will change his target from the girls to you. I have no doubt about that. He will see you as the better option. Just by being with me, you are in danger. Do you really want to live that way?"

"Of course I don't want to live that way, but I will if it means we can be together. Put as much security on me as you want, as long as it means we can give our relationship a chance. It's worth it Edward – being with you is worth it." Unshed tears were glistening in Bella's eyes and I understood that she believed I would give up on us to keep James away. I placed my hands on the side of her face and let my thumbs gently touch the damp lashes beneath her eyes. She closed her eyes against the feeling. I couldn't help but bend down to kiss her and as soon as I did, she parted her lips to take more than I had initially meant to give. By the time we had finished, we were both breathless and taken aback by the desperation Bella had conveyed with that kiss. I pulled away from her.

"I know it's selfish but I can't help it. You should be running away from me as quickly as your legs can take you Bella. You should remove yourself from the danger but…." the guilt raised its annoying head within me before I shoved it aside. This was going to be Bella's decision, not mine. I owed her that. "….. but unless you want me to, I just don't think I can let you go now."

"I don't want you to," Bella's expression only showed determination and trust. She knew what she was getting herself into and was willing to do it for us. A small piece of me wished she wasn't so sure; that she would take the advice of the others around her and take the safer road. The thought disappeared when I came to realize just how bereft I would have been if she had chosen any other way.

"Ok but we need to make a plan. We need to do everything possible to make sure this is the right decision in the end."

"I have no aversions to plans, Edward, as long as we make them together. No more making decisions for me, just with me, ok."

"Deal," I held out my hand for her to shake and when she took it I pulled her closer to me to seal it more fittingly with a kiss. "You and I, together. I like it."

Bella grinned at me and then after a while we actually started making the all too important plans to keep each other safe. I wanted to believe this would work. It just had to.


	24. Chapter 24:Bonding

Chapter 24

BPOV – Revealing Secrets

Agonising over decisions was my thing in life but once I had made that decision I always followed through on it, even if it was tainted with emotions I found difficult to master. In this case it was fear. Edward and I planned the best way we could to keep James out of my life but the fear was still there and I was willing to admit that to myself, even as I kept it from Edward. He was worried enough for the both of us. I did not want to burden him further and I did not want to give him an excuse to leave me; I felt he had been way too close to doing that during our discussion about James and Victoria. It had been as if talking through what had happened had made his decision to be with me all the more dangerous and he had sensed he was doing the wrong thing by me. Nothing could be further from the truth. Him leaving, to keep me safe, would have led to a heartache I knew I had never experienced before. I would rather be in danger than go through that. So we had come to an understanding that Edward and I would be together in secret, at least for a while until something could be done about the threat of James. I would accept that I needed a bodyguard who kept at a discrete distance and my friendship with Rosalie and Alice would be emphasized to ensure that Edward and I could still see each other without the outside world believing we were an actual couple. The friendship part would not be difficult because I had already grown close to Alice, in particular, and I was definitely making headway with Rosalie, even though she kept a cool distance at most times.

It wasn't until during the night, in bed alone, after our heart to heart that I realized that my fear was about more than James. The fact that he could hurt me to get at Edward was definitely a frightening prospect but I believed that the protection I was being offered would ensure that wouldn't happen and there were other things I was concerned about. Edward was my greatest concern; what if James threats were all a ploy to make Edward put so much energy into protecting the girls that he became complacent and missed the obvious signs that James would come after him personally? I shuddered at the thought of anyone hurting Edward in a physically violent way. I couldn't get away from the idea that this was what James was planning all along; distract and harm his original target, and it ate away at me during a sleepless night of worrying.

The other issue I had was my ordinariness. Somehow I had managed to fall in love with a man who was so far out of my league it wasn't funny. How could he sustain this infatuation he had with me when not only were we contending with the threat of James and Edward's obvious need to protect me, but we would also be fighting against the world's idea of who he should or should not be seeing. I wasn't actually model material or some famous person who had money and fame to get them through life. There would be the expectation that Edward would be with someone special and I just could not believe that I would be accepted as that girl. How long would it take before he started to recognise his mistake in choosing someone like me to be with? At what point would the fame tear us apart?

Morning came and I realized that I had allowed myself to fall into a negative rut of fears and worries that was opposite to my general demeanour. I should be concentrating on the positives; on the fact that Edward wanted to be with me in the here and now and was willing to make sacrifices to keep it that way. I had to believe in myself more and not allow the 'what ifs' to contort me into knots. Live in the moment; that was what I would do. Edward and I had less than a couple of weeks left in Forks together before he headed off on tour again and I wanted them to be joyful ones, not bogged down in why this couldn't possibly work.

I dressed and headed downstairs to face Charlie. When I had come home last night he had been at work and I knew I had gotten off from having to explain why I had spent the night at the Cullens and why I had neglected to talk to him about the danger I was in. This morning, no doubt, I would have to face the questions and the confusion behind them. I was not relishing the discussion at all.

Charlie was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand and I was more than glad to see that he was dressed as if he was ready to go fishing. That meant our talk would not be prolonged.

"Morning dad, how was work?"

"Fine," his tone was neutral "Glad to see that you haven't forgotten where your own bed is Bella." The lift of his eyebrows told me more than his voice had. Charlie was not impressed.

"Um, yeh. Sorry about that dad. Rosalie gave me some medication for a headache I had and it kind of knocked it out of me. I hope you weren't too worried."

"Humph. Why would I be worried Bella? My only daughter has got herself mixed up with a situation where she could get hurt; she left a party, insinuating that she was going home but never really went there; she stayed out all night without letting me know that was her intention; I got a late night phonecall to say she was asleep and was fine but that was from a girl who I hardly know; tell me that I was wrong to worry."

Too many words from Charlie all at once. It was enough to tell me that this was not going to go well.

"Dad, the night at the Cullen's was not premeditated at all. I left the party thinking I would go straight home with a headache. I was not trying to mislead you. Once I got back here I decided to go to Edwards because we had some things to discuss but when I got there I found that he was not back from the party. Emmett and Rosalie were though, and Rosalie gave me some medication, and that's it." Charlie's face indicated he did not believe that was it at all but that was all he was getting from me. I began to be exasperated even though I was aware that he had more than a good reason to be worried about me.

"I am an adult, remember? The only reason I am explaining myself right now is because I agree I could have handled a few things a little differently so that you weren't worried; not because I need to explain every little thing to you. Edward and I are together and I know that you aren't happy about that but it's happened and it's what I want. The time we have together is not much, so I guess there might be times when I make the choice to stay late at his place, or even stay the night. I am my own woman now; I have been for years."

"No doubt and I agree – you can make your own choices about where you stay and all that but while you're staying with me I would really appreciate a little notification about where you will be. I am worried about this whole James scenario. I don't want you in the firing line. Luckily last night Rosalie's phonecall came very quickly after I got home, so I didn't have too long a time to panic about your whereabouts and the possibility that you had been ambushed. Humor me please."

He was right. I had been unfair and would make sure it didn't happen again. "Ok, I will let you know where I am, so that you don't need to jump to the wrong conclusions, but just so you're aware, I will be spending a fair amount of time over at the Cullen's. It is the safest place for me to be as far as seeing Edward is concerned."

"And you're happy to be in a relationship like that, are you? Hiding away, pretending that nothing is happening because there is some mad guy out there who would hurt you if he knew?" The anger in Charlie's voice was warranted so I tried to contain my own. He was only asking the questions that I had asked myself and I was becoming more and more confused. I knew I wanted to be with Edward; I knew it wasn't an ideal situation and that I had to face obstacles that I wasn't actually looking forward to but I wanted to do it because I could see no other way. I just hoped I was strong enough.

Simple words would have to do. "I really like him dad."

Charlie sighed heavily and grasped his last source of hope. The one thing he did not realize had been coming between us for the last few years. "As much as you liked Jacob?"

My eyes narrowed as I searched his face and wondered if I could ever make him understand the relationship I had with Jacob. We should have discussed this ages ago, when other matters wouldn't muddy the waters, but now I couldn't let it go on any further.

"Dad," I stated gently but firmly, "Jacob and I were over a long time ago. We broke up because I knew I didn't love him the way I should. He was…. he is …….one of my best friends and I would do anything for him, but being together is just not an option for us. I know that you wanted us to do the expected thing and get married and hang around town to settle with a family but that was your dream….. it was never mine. I've moved on from Jacob but I think it would be a lot easier for Jacob if you let him move on from me. Your constant need to throw us together has made it hard for him to cut away from the love he believes he still feels. He needs to meet someone else who deserves him. It will never be me."

Charlie was tensely listening to my words and then I saw his shoulders relax in resignation after considering them.

"I just wanted you both to be happy. He is like a son to me and you're my daughter. You always seem so happy when you are together"

"That's because we are friends and when we are left alone, our friendship is perfect."

Charlie became quiet and I stopped speaking so he could take everything I had said in. This was more the way things usually went. Charlie had spoken more in the past ten minutes than he ever had, in one sitting, with me.

He stood up and gruffly spoke. "Ok I have got it. No more trying to get you and Jacob back together. This father needs to butt out of his daughter's romances. I can't promise the same thing, when it comes to your safety though Bella."

The relief that enveloped me made me dizzy with happiness. No more feeling uncomfortable with my dad. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, dad," I said as I gave him a quick hug which he surprisingly returned. "You are a cop after all."

" I might be a cop, but in this instance I am a dad and I want my girl to be safe." He walked away and grabbed the fishing hat hanging beside the door. "Have to get going. Billy and the fish will be waiting." He opened the door and was about to step through when he turned back towards me.

" Bella you might like to invite Edward over for dinner sometime. I guess it's time that I got to know him, if he intends on dating my daughter." He didn't wait for my answer and was instantly out the door so he was not aware of how much his suggestion had placed a huge smile on my face. Charlie was trying and for the first time in a long time I felt close to my dad again.

Alice was the one who answered the door of the Cullens when I arrived and I was instantly taken in by her exuberance and non stop chatter.

"Great. You're here. We have so much to talk about. I know Edward told you everything but I am sure you have questions that only another woman can answer and guess what Angela asked me to do the bridal parties makeup for her big day, which I am so incredibly excited about. I will finally get my hands on that beautiful face of yours and make an absolute masterpiece of it. Can you believe she thought of me? And guess what else?"

My mind was ticking over at a million miles an hour trying to keep up with the variety of subjects she was throwing at me all in one breath. One thing stuck in my mind though. She was right; I did need to talk to someone other than Edward about what was happening between us and although I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by having questions only a woman could answer I did know that Alice would be able to give me an insight into this life I had chosen by wanting to stay with Edward. Maybe she could help me with the fears.

"Angela and Ben actually invited us to their wedding. How lovely is that? Of course we are going to have to do some juggling because we should be working that weekend but I am nothing, if not a great organizer and I am sure I can do it. There is no way I want to miss out on this. I feel like we've made some great friends and it's all because of you. Bella are you listening to me?" Alice in a good mood was overwhelming and my face was apparently letting her know that I was bamboozled with everything she was telling me.

"Um sure Alice but you've just hit me with about ten different things to take in during the course of one minute. I am just trying to register it all before I answer." I smiled at her to show that I was more than happy to be involved in her discussion. She smiled back at me happily. She really was extremely excited with how things were going at the moment. Her joy was catching.

"So what do you think?"

"Let's see if I can get this right," I pretended to contemplate as I raised my hand to my forehead in a thinking pose. "Edward told me everything and yes I would love to chat to you about all that. It is great that Angela thought of you as being her makeup artist – I think she has made a perfect choice there," Alice's smile widened even further with my compliment.

"I am not so sure you can make me look beautiful but if anyone can, it will be you," I joked with Alice but a slight frown came unnaturally to her lips and I quickly moved on.

"It's absolutely wonderful that Angela and Ben asked you to the wedding as well. She hadn't told me about that. Are all of you coming?" Alice nodded in response to my question but kept quiet which must have been excruciating for her.

"Of course Angela and Ben would want you all there. They love that you have all become friends as well. And last but not least I know you didn't mention this at all, but where is Edward?"

Alice waved her hands as if that was the least of our worries. "Edward had to do some quick errands for mum. He told me to let you know he wouldn't be long. I guess I forgot that, hey?" Alice placed her arm through mine and started to guide me upstairs to her room. I was quickly on high alert.

"Where are we going Alice," If my suspicions were correct I would not like what she was about to tell me.

"My bedroom, of course. Where else do you think I would take you for a girly talk and a quick makeover?" Alice was all innocence but I could see through her already.

"And the makeover is because…….." I was trying to pull against her insistent need to get me all made up. Something told me it wasn't going to work this time.

"I need to practice for the wedding and I do my best thinking while I am being creative so if we are going to talk I need to have my hands busy."

I snorted. Did she actually think I was going to believe that waffle? Apparently she did because she was looking at me expectantly and I knew I had lost. "Ok, ok. You've won this time. Don't think it's going to become a permanent event though Alice. This is not something I enjoy."

"Ye of little faith. Of course you will enjoy my magic. You won't be able to help yourself."

Soon I was sitting on a stool in Alice's bedroom and she was flitting around me in a state of anxious bliss, making decisions about hair and makeup that were way beyond my understanding. I tried to relax knowing that it was the best way to get through this but it wasn't until she began to actually work and we moved onto the talk she had promised that I felt anything like it.

"Edward told me you were very understanding of the predicament we find ourselves in. I can not tell you how happy that made all of us. We all know that Edward has been punishing himself over Victoria for years for no good reason, since it is so obvious that he could not have done anything else to help, but maybe you telling him that is way different to his family trying to force it into his think skull," Alice's tone indicated that this was a subject that had exasperated her for a long time. "For Edward to blame himself for her death is ridiculous. For James to blame him is just criminal."

"Edward does seem to take things very much to heart when it comes to helping the people around him," I admitted. "As for James; he seems like a creep to me who can't own up to his own mistakes. I have to admit it does worry me though."

"Bella, as long as we are careful he won't get to you. Noone is going to let him. Edward would rather die than let anything happen to you, I can guarantee it."

"Actually I am not so much worried about me, because as far as I know James doesn't know about me at all, but I am worried for the rest of you."

"Gosh, don't be," Alice was concentrating on drawing something along my eyelids and I had to stay very still while she did so. "We are used to this type of thing, aren't we Rose?"

I jumped a little in surprise as I hadn't realized that Rosalie was standing in the doorway watching. Alice swore a little under her breath and then used something to wipe away the smear that my reaction had caused her to make under my eye. Rosalie grinned at me before plopping herself on the bed nonchalantly.

"Alice has got to you then Bella. Don't worry she really is a whizz with makeovers; and yes we are used to this type of thing and let me tell you we are not going to let this prick of a man get to us. There is no way some cretin who can't keep his hands from knocking women around is going to make us cringe away in fear." Rosalie was vehement.

"You're not worried at all?" Surprise flooded my question. How could they constantly live with this kind of threat and not be worried about the outcome. It was Alice who answered.

"Sure we worry about it but we have made the choice not to allow it to make us live day to day in fear. We have done everything possible to keep ourselves safe and we don't make silly decisions that could lead to us being hurt. Besides can you imagine anyone getting through our boys to get to us?" We all giggled nervously at the thought of it. Emmett, Jasper and Edward were all lovely men but I had no doubt that any threat would be dealt with severely by each and every one of them. They would not sit idly aside and let anything happen to the women they loved.

"What if I am not brave enough to do what you do? What if Edward has made the wrong choice in picking me?"

Rosalie snorted. "Are you after his money? Are you more interested in the fame than in him? Do you get your jollies from being in danger?"

I looked at her appalled. Was she serious? Alice was just as upset as me and spoke sharply to Rosalie.

"Rosalie. That is not justified. How can you even ask her those things?"

"Oh get a grip Alice. I already know the answers. I was making a point," Rosalie shook her head in exasperation and returned her attention to me. "The answer is no to all of them. I know that. You know that. So it shows that Edward didn't make the wrong choice. When it comes down to it you've already shown that you're brave enough to do this; just by agreeing to stay with him when you know the danger."

Alice relaxed quickly from the prospect of having to stick up for me with Rosalie and showed she agreed with everything Rosalie had said by nodding her head.

"Thanks." I stated quietly.

"But you do realize that the things I just asked about the money and the fame are what you should expect from people who don't know you, once it is out that you two are seeing each other Bella? You are going to have to get a thick skin if you want to stay with him." Rosalie was blunt in her ascertain.

"God, Rosalie. Give the poor girl a break. All of this must be hard for her to take in without your words of wisdom ringing in her ears. For now you don't need to worry about that, Bella. We will help you keep your secret," Alice spoke kindly to me but I knew what Rosalie said was true. My life had definitely changed for both the better and the worst.

"It's an odd way to start a relationship though isn't it," I mused to myself and then realized that I had said it out loud. My face was instantly red in embarrassment. They must think I was horrible for thinking like that.

"Sometimes secrets are needed for a purpose. It's not like Edward is going to keep you secret for any other reason than he wants to keep you safe and happy. We all have our secrets for one reason or another." Rosalie looked like she was trying to make a decision and then she stood up abruptly and left the room. Alice looked after her in consternation, as unsure as I was of what she was doing although I was pretty sure she would have a better understanding of her friend than I did. Within a few moments Rosalie returned with a book in her hand and shoved it towards me. Alice gasped in surprise and I turned my head to the sound. Alice was genuinely shocked but then was overtaken with excitement and I wondered what was inside the book that would bring about such a reaction.

"This is my secret. Well actually, it is both Emmett's and mine as you will soon see," Rosalie said haughtily but I thought I heard a catch of nervousness in her voice. Rosalie was somehow opening up to me to help me through my own worries. I opened the book slowly and realized it was an album and not just any album. This was special.

"You are kidding me," I was floored and I searched Rosalie's face for a sign that she was playing some kind of joke on me. She returned my gaze with an animated smile. She was proud of what I had in front of me. This most certainly was not a joke.

My attention went back to the first page of the album and in it was a breathtakingly beautiful photo of Rosalie looking lovingly into the eyes of Emmett as he smiled back at her. The happiness that was reflected on both their faces made my own throat restrict with emotion and I realized I had never seen Rosalie look so natural and so elated.

"You and Emmett are married?" I whispered reverently but neither of them needed to answer me; the proof was currently lying in my hands and I was keen to see more. I turned the pages and on each one a tale of love and family and a fairytale event was told. There were photos of just the two of them; there were photos of the whole family. Besides the Cullens and Hales there were only a handful of other people seen in the pictures and I understood that Rosalie and Emmett had participated in a very private affair. The romance of it did not escape me.

"But how?" I questioned in confusion. How could they be married and the world did not know?

"It was our moment. Not the world's, so we made sure that it was done in absolute secrecy. Only family and a few very, very close friends who would not betray us. Our life is such a constant parade and well I must admit that I love that in general but for this one thing; the one thing that I held dearest I wanted it to be just us and the people we truly cared about." Rosalie's voice held nothing but sincerity and for a moment I saw her vulnerability. I was pretty sure I wouldn't get to see that too often.

I could understand her need for privacy. I felt like that all the time and now I had opened myself up to a completely different approach to privacy. Alice didn't complain when I got off the stool and went to sit on her bed alongside Rosalie. Rather she took her own place there too.

"Rosalie. The photos are gorgeous and your wedding looks so beautiful; something out of a romantic movie or fairytale. I can't believe you pulled this off."

"Neither could we but you are right about the wedding. It was perfect. Alice here did a wonderful job of pulling it together and making it very special even while she kept it secret. The girl is a genius," Alice reached across and hugged Rosalie in thanks for her compliments.

"When was this?" My curiosity was getting the better of me. It seemed so unbelievable that Rosalie and Emmett were husband and wife and there was absolutely no record of it within the media.

"Just less than a year ago," Rosalie was smug.

"No way. You've kept this secret for nearly a year?" I searched her hand to see any sign of a wedding ring and there it was; plain as day sitting right where it should be, alongside a magnificent engagement ring and what I imagined was an eternity ring. Admittedly Rosalie had rings on every available finger so they were kind of lost in her accessorizing but still…… how had no one questioned her about them?

"Yep. We didn't think we would get away with keeping the ceremony secret let alone the whole marriage thing but you know what, no one has guessed and no one has asked the right questions. We've never out and out lied about it but it still remains our secret and well I kind of like it like that. Don't get me wrong. It's not because I am not proud of Emmett. He is my soul mate and the world has no idea just how amazing he is. Without Emmett I would have been lost years ago. He helped me heal after I had pretty much closed myself off from the world due to …. well due to certain things that had happened after my parents died. No this secret is not about not loving Emmett – it is all about having something that is just ours. I am enjoying that while it lasts."

We continued to discuss the wedding and exactly how everything had played out. Rosalie seemed to be enjoying sharing her special day with someone new and Alice was excited about her part in making it such a great success. We were scrutinizing each picture in the album again while we giggled like teenagers and oohhed and ahhed, when a knock at the door interrupted our easy and unexpected comradeship. Edward stood staring at the three of us with our heads together and then glanced with curiosity at what we were looking at. I noted the change on his face to an expression of incredulity when he realized what we were actually looking at.

"Hi," the three of us greeted cheerfully in unison and we broke into soft giggles.

"Hi," he answered uncertainly and he walked towards us to lay a quick kiss on the top of my head. "What are you three up to then?"

"Sharing secrets," Alice gave Edward a look of significance as she pointed to the wedding album and Edward responded by raising his eyebrows and then sitting on the bed next to me. His closeness made my heart race but I tried to ignore it so I could concentrate on the girls and our current bonding session. It didn't stop me from involuntarily leaning towards him and he placed his arm around my shoulders so that I could fit into him comfortably. I felt completely safe and content in his arms.

"I'm impressed," He spoke softly into my ear. "I leave you alone with our girls for a short while and you've managed to get them to reveal their deepest secrets. There is some serious trust happening there."

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders as if nothing untoward had taken place. "I imagined that since you've decided to bring Bella into the fold, so to speak, she should know the truth, that's all. No biggie."

"No biggie, indeed Rosalie," Edward smirked but I could tell that Rosalie's revelation to me was something special and I should take it as such. She had trusted me with this information and I did not need any of them to tell me that I should not break that trust by letting anyone else know about it.

"Oh we haven't told her everything yet Edward. She still doesn't know about me," Alice stated cheekily and my mouth must have gaped open because she laughed. "Oh don't worry, we haven't all gone and got ourselves secretly married Bella but one day Jasper and I will marry, and it will be just as amazing as Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, I can assure you." Alice had a dreamy look in her eye and Edward cleared his throat to get her attention back. Something in his stance made me curious about Alice's initial words. He looked really, really nervous and more than a little worried. I wasn't sure that he wanted Alice to share this secret with me.

"Right, back to my little admission. Well Bella sit yourself back up here so I can keep working on your makeover and while I do that I will share my secret with you since today seems to be the day for it,"

I stood up to follow her instructions, absolutely intrigued. I'd been bowled over by Rosalie's marriage and I couldn't think of anything else that would be able to top that.

"Are you sure about this Alice?" Edward questioned and I looked at him sharply. Surely he trusted me to do the right thing with regards to his sister. Why would he want to stop her from telling me something? I felt a little hurt.

"Never been surer, Edward. It's not something I want to hide from Bella so…….." she began to step back into her makeover role as Rosalie and Edward watched me for my reaction. " ….remember the night that creep from the hotel grabbed you? Have you ever wondered how Edward knew where to find you or how he even knew you needed help?"

I nodded silently, completely confused about what she would tell me next.

"Well…………."

And Alice revealed a side to herself that I didn't think happened anywhere except in movies and books.

I certainly had gained myself some pretty amazingly special friends in the course of falling in love with a rockstar. It was a lot to take in but right at that moment I was more than happy to do so. Edward's family trusted me enough to tell me things that only a very select few knew. They obviously thought I would be around for a long time. That knowledge boosted me more than anything else could have after my night of worry and fear.

An afternoon with Alice and Rosalie had sustained me. I was now ready to face whatever came my way. They managed to do it every day and now I would too. Edward and I were going to be just fine.


	25. Chapter 25: Loving Gestures

**Thanks always to the people who have written a review or sent me a message. I appreciate your thoughts and comments.**

Chapter 25

BPOV – Loving gestures

The small stone skidded across the window and made a noise that I was sure was much too loud for this time of the morning. I held my breath in anticipation of accidently smashing the window. That was not my intent and right now I was feeling a little foolish; although before I got here it had seemed like such a good idea. Oh well, I was here now and that stone hadn't got the attention I wanted so I bent down to find another that might do a better job. I threw it nervously and this time it did the trick because the window was being opened and a very disheveled Edward was looking out at me in bewilderment. Even at this time of the morning Edward looked perfect to me and I thought yet again of my luck at having such an amazing boyfriend.

"Bella what on earth are you doing? It's 6 o'clock in the morning."

"Being impulsive…. or foolish. Whichever way you want to look at it." I beamed up at him and he returned the favour, even though I could see he was still confused.

"I'm here to break you out of this joint," I put on my best mafia voice which was kind of hard when I was trying to talk so quietly. I didn't want to raise the whole household. They would all think I had lost my senses. I became serious and was myself again. "Today is our last day together so I wanted to start it early. With that in mind I have got breakfast." I held up the bag I held in my hand.

Edward threw back his head and laughed but then caught himself as he realized he might wake someone up. "You are mad Bella Swan but I like it. Just give me a couple of minutes."

I waited patiently while Edward got himself ready. His bedroom window, where I was waiting, was around the side of the house so I knew it wouldn't be long before he came around the corner from the front door to greet me. I was wrong.

"Pssttt. Catch," I looked up just in time to see a blanket being thrown out at me and then Edward was balancing on his window ledge contemplating the best route for him to get down.

"What are you doing?" I hissed up at him in shock. "You are going to kill yourself if you try to get….."

Too late; Edward had already reached across to a tree branch and was gracefully scaling down the tree before I could get my sentence out. I let my breath whoosh out in relief once his feet touched the ground and I felt his arms engulf me in a warm welcome.

"Good morning. This is quite the surprise." Edward's eyes held mirth and his smile told me how happy he was to see me.

"Have you not heard of a door," I quietly accused as I returned his hug with vigor. My heart was still racing with the thought of him falling and breaking a leg or something.

Edward laughed. "Haven't you?"

"Well I had an excuse. I didn't want to wake everyone up by knocking on the front door and besides I didn't do any climbing. That was all you."

"I didn't want to wake anyone up either and all I did was carried through on the impulsivity. Kind of fun really. A great way to start the morning." Edward stretched and I felt his muscles ripple against me. That was something I would definitely not complain about. Edward was dressed casually in jeans and a light sweat shirt that hugged his body in all the right places. He was too devine for words. "Glad to see our security is so alert though; letting in any riff raff off the street to wake me from my slumber,"

I gave him a slight punch before explaining that I had encountered one of the security guards and he was fully aware of what we were up to; had thought it quite comical even, that I was willing to wake up Edward at such an early hour of the morning to take him on a picnic. I had been embarrassed of course but I had steeled myself and thought about the prospect of being alone with Edward for a few hours. I was going to miss him way too much when he left in the morning.

"So where are we going?" Edward was trying to open the backpack that I had picked up off the ground so that he could see what I had brought with me. I swatted his hand away.

"That's up to you. I organised breakfast so it's your job to organise the place."

"Oh," Edward's face crinkled up into a thoughtful expression. "I know a place but it will take a bit of walking to get there. Are you up for that?"

"It's such a beautiful morning that I am up for anything. Lead the way." I tried not to think of the prospect of me falling or tripping as we set off towards the woods that skirted the Cullen's property. I didn't want anything to ruin our day. Edward grabbed the backpack off me and easily slung it onto his own back. The rising of his eyebrows at me showed that he had registered the weight of the bag and was wondering what I had put in there. I playfully used my hands in front of my lips to demonstrate that my lips were sealed. The breakfast I had prepared would remain a secret until we got to our destination.

Edward's warm hand within mine as we walked along in easy comradeship felt so incredibly right. Although I had got him out of bed way too early he seemed to be in a brilliant mood and our discussion was light hearted and full of happiness. I had learnt so much about him over the course of the past week, since the day Alice and Rosalie had revealed their secrets to me, and I was still loving everything I learnt. There was so much more to Edward than the façade he put on for the world and I felt honoured that he was willing to share that with me. He was fun loving, protective, family orientated, kind, smart, brave and so many other adjectives that I couldn't name them all. I was constantly pinching myself wondering how I had managed to get so lucky. Edward as a boyfriend was pure gold and I couldn't imagine life without him now.

I was about to question how much further we had to go, as I was worrying that my luck was going to run out; I had managed to stay upright for considerably longer than was my usual, when the trees thinned and we found ourselves standing in an incredibly beautiful meadow full of green grass and a multitude of different coloured flowers. I stood stock still taking in the airiness of our surroundings after having walked through the relative darkness of the woods to reach this point. Everything was bright and the early rays of the sun leant an etherealness about the place that was hard to resist.

"Oh my gosh. This place is beautiful Edward. It seems almost magical," I knew I was acting like an excited school girl but I couldn't help it. The place was purely stunning and was more than perfect for the morning I had planned ahead of us. Edward's eyes shone with a look of equal appreciation.

"It certainly does seem magical, this morning. I found it a little after mum and dad brought in Forks. Went exploring just to get some time on my own and I found this place. I have to say though that this morning it looks even better than when I first encountered it. I love the peace here," Edward took in a deep breath and I saw that he was entirely relaxed; he was living in the moment and was happy with his lot. "and it is even more exquisite with you here to share it with," His crooked grin did what it always did to me and my heart fluttered in my chest before I broke away from his gaze. I knew if I didn't I would be pressing my lips against that smile and it would distract me from setting out our breakfast.

Edward laid the blanket down and I opened the backpack to reveal my breakfast surprises. Everything had been packed in boxes so I began to set them out on the plates I had brought and Edward sat in complete silence watching me. Once I was finished I had to admit that I was proud of my little endeavor; the spread in front of us could almost challenge Alice's entertaining skills.

"When on earth did you get the time to organise all of this Bella. It is a veritable feast." Edward's stunned words pleased me. I could tell he appreciated what I had put together for him; for us.

"I couldn't sleep last night. I thought I might as well put the extra time into something worthwhile," I tried to keep my voice level and happy. He reached across to touch my face gently and the look on his face told me that I had not deceived him at all. He knew what my sleeplessness was all about; his imminent departure, even if it was only a few days until I would see him again at Angela's wedding. After the wedding, though, who knew how long it would be before we could see each other or be alone again. The thought made me feel lost and unsure of myself.

"It's going to be ok, Bella I promise," Edward's words brought me back to myself.

"I know it is but let's not think of that now. There is food to be eaten here and I don't want to have to take anything home again." I made the first move towards the food so that we would not delve any deeper into the topic and Edward broke open the champagne I had brought and poured some into each of our glasses.

"Well this has to be the best champagne breakfast I have ever had," Edward was playing along with my attempt to distract myself and I was grateful for his consideration. "Let's have a toast…… to us. To many more happy times like this in the very near future."

Our glasses clinked together and we began to devour the food with relish as we sipped on champagne. We talked about a number of things that had happened over the past week; Emmett's reaction to me knowing about his little marriage secret, Edward's visit to my house for dinner with Charlie, Alice's success at changing things around so that the whole band could attend Angela and Ben's wedding and the Cullen's very thoughtful gift to Ben and Angela for their wedding. At one point Edward had looked at me incredulously when I brought up a topic we had never spoken about before.

"So why didn't you tell me that you wanted to be a doctor," I asked the question innocently enough but I was looking intently at Edward to see how he would respond to my observation.

"What? Who said I wanted to be a doctor?" Edward was clearly surprised by my question and he was beginning to run his fingers through his hair, so I knew it was a subject that he was conflicted over.

"You told me, through your actions. I've seen you in conversations with your dad about medical emergencies at the hospital and you come completely alive at those times. I know how much you respect your dad and look up to him. I think that there is more than just the love for a father by his son in that; he is doing something that you would like to do, isn't he?" I wasn't trying to be interfering but I did want to know all there was to know about Edward and this seemed a pretty big aspect of his life that we had never even touched on. Edward had stopped eating and was looking at me in amazement but he didn't deny or admit to my assumption. He said nothing at all.

"I guess the main clue, though, was watching you the other day at the hospital when Alice dragged me along to that 'meet the Cullen band thing' that your dad organised for the sick kids. You were fantastic with them, just as the others were but there was more to it for you. Your dad spoke to you about what was happening medically with them as if you understood and you did Edward." My own voice took on its own tone of awe. "You actually glowed that day while you stood by your dad's side discussing illnesses, treatments and cures. It was as if it was meant to be; as if in another life you would have been a doctor rather than a lead singer in a band so…. I was wondering….. did you want to be a doctor?"

Edward chewed at the piece of fruit in his hand thoughtfully before answering me. "Bella you never cease to astound me with how observant you are. I didn't realize I was so transparent,"

"I do tend to watch you a lot Edward. I wouldn't be worried that you're transparent," I could tell that my face had gone its usual rosy colour and Edward reached up to touch it as he tended to do when I blushed.

Edward laughed. "Feel free to keep watching. I quite like that you work things out about me of your own accord. I do have to admit that I had always wanted to be a doctor before we became known as a band and the whole fame thing hit. I guess I had to make a choice between being a doctor or making it in the music world. I loved my music and it was something I could do with the people I loved so I chose to keep working at that. Being a doctor was just a dream that never came true." He sighed quietly as if he was resigned to the fact and I felt a little sorry that he had had to make such a choice. "In my spare time I do keep up to date with what's happening in the medical world because I love discussing those kinds of things with dad and well I think he enjoys it as well. It would be brilliant, though, to make a difference in people's lives the way my dad does. To help people get better, to help people live. It would have to be one of the most rewarding things a person could do"

"Do you wish you had done things differently?" Something in his voice told me that he did but he had never really allowed himself to think about it.

"Maybe, but it's too late now. I've made my bed and I am not complaining because I love many aspects of my life and I adore the music, but I do wonder if I could have made it as a doctor if I had tried."

"I bet you could have," I said with utter belief in my voice. "And I bet you still could if at some point later down the track you decide you want to have a go at it. You can live both dreams if you really want it Edward. You're not frightened of hard work and there might come a point where you want more than being on the road with the band."

Edward's face swarmed with a variety of emotions and I watched mesmerized as he took in the information I had just handed him.

"Would you prefer me to be a doctor rather than a musician, Bella?" Curiosity was evident in Edward's voice.

"What? No Edward. This is not about me. I was only making an observation and making sure you realized that what you want in life is not necessarily closed to you because you made a different choice. I don't care if you are a doctor, musician, builder or anything else you might like to try. I like you because of you, not because of the job you have." I must have been a little overzealous in my speech because Edward was smirking at me and I couldn't help but smirk right back at him in embarrassment.

"I do believe you when you say that Bella. You really wouldn't care what I did. You'd still be with me." He leant across to give me a quick appreciative peck on my lips but even that had the ability to make me lose my train of thought. His career choices had nothing to do with the way I felt whenever he came close to me; that was for sure.

"Mmmmm. Absolutely." I muttered before deliberately placing another piece of fruit in my mouth to show the discussion had ended. Edward grinned and relaxed back against a large rock that we had set the blanket next to.

Once we had finished, our appetites completely sated, and had cleared away the plates and leftovers, Edward and I laid down beside one another and closed our eyes, completely at peace with one another and our surroundings. I felt Edward's fingers trailing softly against the side of my arm and smiled in contentment. When he got to my hand he entwined his fingers with mine and continued rubbing his thumb across the back of it. The movement was so soothing that I let out a loud sigh before opening my eyes to find that Edward was propped up next to me on his elbow, watching me closely. I turned my head slightly so I could see him more clearly and smiled up at him to show how much I was enjoying his touch. He leant slightly towards me as if he was going to kiss me and I felt my heart accelerate in response to what I knew was coming, but he held back and instead brought his hand up to touch my lips softly and stared straight into my eyes.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm," I moved my own hand up to touch the warmth of his, where he had stopped and rested it against the side of my cheek. I traced from this spot so I could feel the smoothness of his skin as my fingers drifted down towards his elbow and back up again to his hand.

"I love you," Edward's whispered words were backed up by the emotion I could see in his eyes and I was momentarily stunned into both silence and stillness. Pure elation surged through me causing shivers down my spine.

"You love me?" The words came out before I could counter them and I swore at myself for allowing my inability to believe he could possibly return my feelings, to come out at this precise moment. Edward's lips twitched into a small rueful smile and his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Are you surprised by that Bella," he asked me with a trace of nervousness in his voice.

"I……um…… you love me?" The next words came out in a rush and I knew I was not thinking at all coherently. "It's just that you are so amazing and I am noth……."

One moment I was spluttering nonsense and the next I was breathless from having Edward's lips come into contact with my own so that I could no longer speak. His mouth moved softly against mine in gentle caresses and I lost all inhibitions as I reveled in the love he was showing me through that kiss. After a short while he pulled away gently and we stared at one another in wonder.

"You were saying," Edward's crooked smile made an appearance on his face.

I tried to gain control of my thumping heart and my unruly emotions but to no avail. "That I can't believe that someone like you could possibly love someone like me,"

The smile left Edward's face and he sat up abruptly before pulling me up into a sitting position next to him.

"Bella, I love you because you are an amazing woman. I love that you are interested in everyone around you and accept them for who they are. I love that you are kind, strong, observant, beautiful and independent. I love that you are just a little bit clumsy. I love that you bite your lip in nervousness when I'm about to kiss you. I love the way you feel when I hold you and I love that I never want to let you go at those times. I love that when you smile at me it does crazy things to my heart. I love that you talk in your sleep and often you say my name so I know you are thinking of me, even in your dreams. I love that the last thing I think of at night and the first thing I think of in the morning is you. I love that you smell of lavender and that it is a scent that stays with me even after you're gone. I love that you are willing to come to my house at ungodly hours of the morning with a picnic breakfast just so that you can spend time with me. I love everything about you but what I love the most is that you seem to like me for just being me; Edward Cullen – the person not the rockstar."

Edward had not let go of my hands as I sat overwhelmed by his declaration. He had not allowed my eyes to move away from his so that I could see that he meant every word he had said. The intensity of his words, and how I felt for him in return, was something I could never have imagined.

"You're wrong, you know," My voice was soft but I knew he had heard me because the worried look came over his face again. "I don't just like you Edward. It's much more than that. I love you. You are everything I have ever dreamed of and more. To have you tell me that you love me too is nothing short of a miracle. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe."

The jubilant look of joy that crossed Edward's face as I told him how I felt made me realize that he had not been sure of my response to his declaration. He hadn't known how deeply I had been feeling for him all these weeks. Neither of us had been willing to say the words, even though our actions had been leading to this moment.

"Thank you for loving me too, Bella. Nothing could make me happier than knowing you feel the same way." He reached for me and pulled me closely to his chest and I felt his chest swell with a deep breath and then exhale softly as he buried his face into my hair. He brought his head back so we were once again looking into each other's faces. "I truly love you Bella Swan."

"I love you back" I could hardly get the words out because Edward was lightly guiding me back towards the ground as he planted loving kisses along my neck until he reached my mouth which he claimed firmly yet gently. I was instantly taken in by his taste and his ability to make me lose myself in any moment with him. I could feel the underlying need pulling at both of us but somehow we rejected it and just enjoyed the kissing and holding that told both of us beyond anything else that we were exactly right for one another and that the forthcoming separation was not going to stop us from loving one another.

For this exquisite moment I believed I was as perfect for him as he was for me.


	26. Chapter 26: Looming Shadows

Chapter 26

EPOV - Looming Shadows

Forks was behind us now; well at least for a short time, until we returned for the wedding. Never before had I found any place so difficult to leave and I knew beyond a doubt that it was because my Bella was still there, without me. For the next few days I would not hear her laughter, or feel her slender body against mine. Everything that I had told her in the meadow, made me love her, were the things that I would miss the most about not being by her side. The exultation I had felt when she told me she loved me was still embedded in my soul and I was already counting down the days and hours until I would see her again. I didn't even want to think beyond that because our touring was going to take us way beyond her reach for quite a significant amount of time and the very thought of it made me ill. I pushed it to the dark recesses of my mind. We would deal with it when it came time.

Our last day together had been wonderful. Her spontaneous breakfast picnic had set the mood for the rest of the day and we enjoyed each other's company through every minute of it. Of course I had had to share her with my family once we returned from the meadow but I didn't begrudge them the time; she had become important to them too and I enjoyed the fact that the person I had just professed my love for was so at ease with the personalities that made up my family. She accepted every single one of them for the way they were and respected the differences between them by acting accordingly to their personalities. I loved her for that and for so much more.

After a long night of talking, kissing and holding, Bella had fallen asleep in my arms and even though I knew I should also sleep I found it too difficult to do so. I wanted to stay awake so that I could take everything in about her. The moments were too precious to submit to sleep when I could be feeling her rest against me in complete surrender to her dreams; when I could be listening to the sweet sound of her voice mumbling in her sleep; when I could listen to her heart beat in a constant, peaceful rhythm. I made sure her features, which were so special to me, were etched on my memory so that I could bring them up at will, while we were apart. More than anything else, I wished that she could come with us but it was a useless thought because Bella had her own life and she had responsibilities of her own to meet. I hoped she was not adverse to flying because I imagined there would be quite a bit of it involved to ensure our separation was not a complete hell. The night had passed way too quickly and the choice to stay awake would not help my patience during our trip but every second of it was worth it. Watching Bella wake up was a treat within itself and I was silently amused at the disoriented expression that crossed her face as she took in me and our surroundings. I could not, however keep my gaze on her when her expression changed and I saw the moment when she realised that we were about to leave. Her hurt would only antagonize my own.

San Francisco was out last port of call on the West side of the country before we headed east, further afield. I consoled myself with the thought that once the tour was completely finished we would be heading to the studio and I would not be travelling away from Bella. I would have to talk to the rest of the group to suggest we stay closer to home to work on our new album. We usually worked in a studio in New York but there was no way I was going to keep the distance between Bella and I when there was no need to. We could work just as well in any studio. One in Seattle seemed just perfect to me. I was sure everyone would agree, although Rosalie would miss the buzz of New York. I didn't feel too guilty about that; she had had plenty of time there and could always return another time with just Emmett.

As soon as the flight from Seattle touched down in San Franscisco and we had moved to collect our bags, fighting through the wave of people who recognised us and wanted autographs, I rang Bella to let her know of our safe arrival. Her voice sounded so far away and I told myself to pull it together. We had not been apart for more than a handful of hours and I was already feeling lost without her. I would not be able to function if I kept going this way. I needed to look at the positives.

As usual, our days ended up being full of rehearsals and concerts so although I was missing Bella like crazy I was able to concentrate on something else and it made the time go quicker. We were in constant communication and I loved hearing what she had been doing with her day, which at this stage was centred around everything wedding. My happiness was coming through in my performances and I was having an absolute ball entertaining our fans with an enthusiasm that I thought I had lost for a while, before Bella had come into my life. She was definitely good for me, even at a distance.

Thursday came and the girls decided that they were going to spend their free time shopping for an outfit for the wedding. As it wasn't any of our favourite past times so Jasper, Emmett and I decided to stay at the hotel and spend some quality time together challenging one another on the Wii. The three of us were looking forward to a morning of good natured competition and when Alice and Rose left we were immediately enthralled by the games, happily trying to annihilate one another in the hope of becoming the reigning champion. It was times like these when I was happy we were such a close group of family and friends. Emmett and Jasper were fantastic company and I couldn't think of anyone, besides Bella, that I would prefer to be hanging out with.

A few hours passed, and really the three of us were laughing more than we were playing, when my mobile rang and I reacted instantly to grab it from the coffee table thinking that it would probably be Bella. Emmett rolled his eyes at the speed I displayed, fully knowing the reason behind it and I grinned as I quickly glanced at the id. It wasn't Bella, it was Alice and I mouthed the word before I laughingly answered.

"So I suppose you want one of us to come and meet you and help you with the bags. You girls are hopeless with the shopping."

"I wouldn't exactly say that's what I am calling for," a deep male voice answered and the hairs stood up on my skin as I recognised who was calling. My hand involuntarily tightened on the phone and I could see the whiteness of my knuckles as I licked my suddenly dry lips. Emmett and Jasper were looking at me curiously, waiting to see what Alice could possibly be saying to me to bring about such a reaction.

"James. What are you doing? Where is Alice?" I couldn't control my voice and I felt the panic edge in. The sudden looks of comprehension and horror on their faces told me that Jasper and Emmett were about to lose it and I put my finger up to my lips, indicating for them to remain silent. I turned the loudspeaker on the phone so that they could hear the conversation play out.

"Hmmmmm, Alice. Now where is she? Good question Edward. I guess since I have her phone she must be with me ……..but don't worry I will look after her well. I will look after both of them well. I hope their boyfriends are there to hear me say that." James sniggered and the thunderous look on Emmett and Jaspers faces was frightening to see. "I wouldn't want them to think I would mistreat two such fine ladies – not too much anyway."

Jasper and Emmett had both made a grab for the phone and I relinquished it unsteadily and watched as Jasper beat Emmett to it and hissed.

"If you hurt either one of them we will come after you and we will personally kill you, you son of a bitch."

"Now, now. Is that any way to talk to the man who knows where your lady loves are? You wouldn't want me to lose my temper now, would you? Strange things happen when people aren't in control"

"Let me talk to Alice, you fucking piece of shit," Jasper demanded as Emmett snapped and walked up to a wall and violently put his fist through it. His jaw was clenched and his eyes had darkened with unadulterated fury. I couldn't even bring myself to wince at the pain he would have from that loss of control. All my thoughts were on Alice and Rosalie and how I could possibly get them out of this mess.

"She's a little pre occupied at the moment loverboy. Put Edward back on. After all, he is the man of the moment. He has a little choice to make here."

It was hard to make Jasper unclench his fist from around the phone so that I could ensure he didn't break it before we could find out how to get the girls out of James' grip.

"I'm here. James. Tell me what you want and you've got it. Just let the girls go and we can sort this out between ourselves, man to man. Noone else needs to be involved."

"Hah. That would be too easy Eddie boy. As I've said before. You took something that belonged to me so now I am going to return the favour. Thing is I have scored two for one here. Both such pretty things too. I am a fair guy so I am only going to take the one. It's up to you which one it will be. Alice or Rosalie?"

I could feel the sweat beading on my face and dripping onto the top of my t-shirt and I was shaking uncontrollably. What could I possibly do here that would stop either of the girls I loved getting hurt. I glanced at Jasper and Emmett but their faces only registered absolute shock and fury. Jasper was dialing a number on his phone and began to walk away from me so that James would not hear that he was ringing the police. Emmett had both hands up to the sides of his forehead, violently rubbing them as if it would give him some sort of brainwave that would help the situation at hand. I was almost beyond thinking – it was all too much. Rosalie and Alice's lives were in my hands and I had absolutely no idea what to do to help them. I had never before felt so powerless and weak.

"Too late, Edward. No choice means I will have to do it myself. Eenie meanie minee mo. See ya," the line suddenly went dead and I looked at it sitting in my hand as if I had never seen it before.

"Jesus fuck, Edward. He hung up and we have no way of knowing where the girls are. How the fucking hell did he get anywhere near the girls while they have security on them." Emmett was shaking with ill concealed anger and fear. His wife was in danger and he was unable to grasp the magnitude of that. James had finally done what he had threatened and somehow he had managed to get at our girls, regardless of all the precautions we had put into place. It seemed impossible to be in this situation and yet here we were struggling with the knowledge that Alice and Rosalie were in an incredible amount of danger and we were impotent bystanders.

Jasper had slipped into fight mode and I knew it was his way of distracting himself from the possibilities at hand. He did not want to think about what James was doing at this moment to the women he loved. He didn't want to face the suggestion that his soul mate could disappear from our lives within a blink of an eye. He had to do something. We all did.

"The police are on their way." For a brief second I thought he was going to lose it and fall into accusations but instead he began to dial another number as he mumbled "Not thinking straight. Should have called security…."

The click of the apartment door had all our heads swiveling towards the sound. Through the numbness of my brain I heard the excited giggles of Alice and Rosalie as they discussed bargains, sales and weddings. I had not moved an inch before Emmett had bounded over the sofa and had run headlong into Rosalie, whose packages had been flung around her from the impact and who was now engulfed in his arms looking at me in absolute dismay. Jasper was not far behind him, taking Alice in his arms fiercely and planting kisses over her face again and again in absolute relief that she was standing before him.

Uncertainty was paramount in Alice's voice as she tried to unwind herself from Jasper's grip. He was having nothing of it and held her even tighter to himself. "If we knew you guys were going to miss us so much we would have come home earlier."

My legs collapsed from underneath me and I took the closest seat and placed my head in my hands. They were safe. That bastard had been taunting me and made us all think we had lost two people precious to us. His mind games were cruel; would I ever be free of them?

Emmett had moved a little distance away from Rosalie to take in her appearance. "Are you ok? You haven't been hurt or anything?"

Rosalie was dumbfounded and more than a little bit frustrated. "What on earth are you talking about? Why would I be hurt? We were shopping for gods sake, not doing some high risk adrenaline sport. Can someone explain what has just happened because you all look like you've seen a ghost and I am at a complete loss."

"James just called," Jasper explained but he never took his eyes of Alice. Both girl's jaws dropped as they realized what had brought about the boys reactions. "On your mobile Alice. He rang from your mobile."

"Impossible. I have my mobile here. Look," she began rummaging through her bag and I watched the sick look cross her face as her minutes of searching found nothing and she had to accept what Jasper was saying. James somehow had her mobile and had used it to frighten the shit out of every single one of us.

"Oh baby. I am so sorry. You must have been beside yourself with worry." She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. He squeezed her in return.

"What did the creep say," Rosalie was furious, having to accept that during their shopping expedition James had got close enough to them to take the phone without their awareness. She led Emmett back to the lounge and sat stiffly beside him, unconsciously rubbing his knee in comfort as she addressed me.

"That he had the two of you and wanted me to choose which one to harm." I stated woodenly.

Rosalie swore robustly and Emmett allowed himself a slight smirk in response to her tirade. "Of all the most cruel things he can play out. What a complete arsehole." Rosalie reached across to put her free hand on my knee and I noted that she squeezed both Emmett and I at the same time to reinforce her words. "He was never going to have us guys. You have to know that. Craig was on our tail the whole time. There was no way anyone could have got to us with him there. The phone is a bit of a mystery but as for getting Alice and I – never going to happen. We would have done everything in our power to bring that prick down. We would have fought him nail and tooth. You would have heard our screams from here, I can assure you. James is just a loser who plays cruel mind games."

Alice was nodding her agreeance and it hit me again that they were safe; I couldn't think beyond the exhilarating relief that knowledge brought to me. Alice and Rosalie were in their partner's arms where they should be and not a single iota of hurt had been placed upon either of them.

"I have some things to sort out," Jasper stated abruptly as he gave Alice one last kiss and pushed himself reluctantly away from her. "Police and security. Alice, Rose, I need a list of the shops you went into today – I am sure the police will want it." He was on a mission now to find out how this had happened so that we could ensure it never did again. I envied him the ease he had in getting into active mode; to do something valuable to help the situation. He pointed at Alice.

"You are not to leave this apartment, do you understand me. I want to know you are safe here with Emmett and Edward while I do what I need to do. If you so much as take one step outside this apartment I will… I will… I don't know what I will do but just don't do it. Understood?" Jasper's words brooked no argument and it was hard not to smile at his demanding words, even knowing the seriousness behind them. Jasper never demanded anything of Alice. He had never spoken to her in such an unrelenting way before and through our smiles we all sadly understood. Jasper was petrified. He wasn't going to risk the feeling of loss and anger, that he had just experienced, again. He just wasn't.

Two hours had passed and Jasper was still not back. I had rung Bella straight away to make sure everything was as it should be back in Forks. Hearing her voice made me relax slightly knowing that her everyday life had not just been turned upside down like ours had. I decided not to tell her what had happened until we had more information; she would worry needlessly and everyone was safe for the time being. After I hung up from her I rang Grant who was currently back in Forks monitoring Bella's safety. He needed to be aware that he was on higher alert now and that he should not relax in the job we had given him. I was pretty certain James had not worked out that I was seeing Bella because he would have gone straight for her, rather than taunt me with Alice and Rosalie. Whatever tool he had to give me the greatest amount of torment, he would have used it. James was not aware of Bella; I could almost lay my life on it.

The police had come to question us all about what had happened but had left quickly after getting the information they needed. There was nothing to prove that it had been James on the phone. My phone had registered the call as coming from Alice so there was nothing they could go by to get a positive id, except my word. I had learnt a long time ago that that wasn't enough. James would most likely get away with this and I imagined he would be laughing gleefully at getting the upper hand with me once again.

All of us were agitated. We were only hours away from the night's concert. Jasper had not returned and Alice was constantly on the phone with him to ensure he was safe. Living like this was ridiculous and we all knew it. When the knock came at the door, all of us looked at it in consternation. Emmett and I went to answer it together to find a bell boy holding a package for us.

"This was just delivered downstairs for you sir," He spoke reverently but I hardly registered it as I took the parcel out of his hands gingerly and gave him a tip to get him to leave.

"Do you think it's from him," Emmett whispered so the girls wouldn't hear from the other room.

"Probably. He wouldn't be able to help himself with rubbing in what happened this morning. He would have found another way to torture me; to torture all of us."

I slowly opened the package, all the time expecting something horrid to be inside. Alice's mobile was sitting amongst tissue paper on top of a folded piece of paper. I carefully slid the piece of paper out without touching the phone. I very much doubted it, but I couldn't chance that there were finger prints on there that I could smudge if I accidently brushed against it.

Unfolding the paper I noted the large type written words. _Too Easy!_

Emmett's fists clenched and unclenched in frustration, noting the implication behind the message. It had been way too easy for James to get Alice's phone and now he was mocking us by actually returning it to where we were staying. What kind of job were we, and our security, doing protecting our loved ones when nothing had stopped him in this case? Would he let us off so easily next time? I was lost in the contemplation of what he could possibly do to us next when the door opened and Jasper walked in a dejected look on his face. When he saw the box with the mobile, his eyes lit up momentarily and then they returned to looking sad and frustrated.

"The asshole is not stupid enough to leave finger prints is he?" Jasper questioned but we all knew it was more of a rhetorical query. "I'll give it to the guys in any case. Damn. We have nothing. Security found this but it doesn't help because we can't see the kids face." Jasper held up a DVD and indicated we should follow him into the loungeroom where he greeted Alice and she became instantly calmer.

We sat together as a group and watched the shop security tapes play through with Alice and Rosalie shopping and then being spoken to by a bunch of girls. Rosalie signed some autographs while Alice stood waiting patiently for her to finish, every now and again touching a piece of clothing that sat on the rack next to her. It was then that a young boy came along and bumped into Alice putting his hand into Alice's bag while she tried to stop herself from completely falling over. The look of annoyance on her face was only brief before she smiled at the boy in understanding. He left and that was it. Job done; he had, in his hot little hands, Alice's mobile and no one was aware that anything untoward had happened at all.

"That kid apologized for knocking into me. God I can't believe he fleeced me without me feeling anything." Alice said incredulously.

"So, big man uses kids to get his dirty work done. How perfect." Rosalie sneered.

"Do you remember what he looked like Alice? Maybe if we could find out who the kid was we could have him lead the police to James."

"Not really, Jazz. It happened so quickly and I wasn't really taking much notice to be honest."

"So we are at another dead end, yet again," I vented my resentment and annoyance by kicking the lounge ferociously but the small act of defiance did not clear my mood up at all, even as I enjoyed the physicality of it. "James wins. He has got us over a barrel without even lifting a finger to harm you outright. Just the threat of it is enough to send us into an apoplexy of fear and doubt. He knows what he is doing."

We sat together in distracted silence, the five us trying to take in the enormity of what had happened and what the consequences would be. When I looked around at all their faces I felt some of the guilt return that Bella had been able to alleviate over the past few weeks. This was not going to go away and they were all hurting because of it.

"Should we cancel tonight's concert," Jasper finally broke the silence and we all broke free from our individual musings.

"No way," Alice was adamant. "We've already changed Saturday night's concert so we can go to the wedding. We can't do it again."

"But…" Jasper was going to argue.

"But nothing. What can we do here? We are better off playing in front of a crowd of thousands of people as witnesses, than sitting here worrying. James is playing mind games. Let's make him see that we are not cowering in response." Rosalie held her head high. "He is watching us. Let's give him a show that will tell him that he is messing with the wrong people."

Defiance; such a strong word, a word you could count on when the going got rough. Rosalie put her hand out. We added our own hands to hers and in that one act of unity and defiance we all tried to ignore the pain that had gone through us when we had thought the girls had been hurt. We did it for them; we did it to show strength so that they would feel protected and not at risk but deep down I knew it wasn't enough. Things were going to have to change and as much as it killed me to admit it, that included Bella.


	27. Chapter 27: Disappointment

Chapter 27 –

BPOV - Disappointment

"He really isn't coming, is he?" My question was directed at Alice, who was unpacking all kinds of contraptions from her bags, which were laid out on Angela's bed. Angela was in the shower and it was the first time, since Alice and Jasper had arrived, that I could talk freely with her. She turned away from her setting up and looked at me with sorrow.

"I'm sorry Bella. He's just not willing to risk it."

To be completely honest I wasn't surprised when he had told me he wasn't coming; that none of them were, but Alice and Jasper arriving had given me a little hope that maybe he had changed his mind. I now knew differently. When Edward had rung on Thursday to tell me what had happened with James, I had been horrified that he had got so close to the girls; that he was monitoring every little thing that Edward and the others were doing so that he could get close enough to play with Edward's head. The thought that James was in the same city as Edward gave me the creeps and a sense of ever looming doom. Something was going to come to a head soon and Edward was going to be in the centre of the danger, along with Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett. I didn't want any of them to be hurt; I didn't want any of them to constantly live with the threat of it either.

I felt selfish as Edward explained gently that they would not be attending the wedding; that it would be too dangerous to bring James' attention to Forks and ultimately accidently find out about me. All I wanted to say to him was 'What about me; what about us'. I needed to be with him and had been looking forward so much to seeing him at the wedding that I felt like the breath had been sucked out of me as he spoke. If I didn't see him now, when would I see him? The wedding had been my lifeline; the one thing I had concentrated on because I knew, beyond that, we were going to be treading water and I hadn't wanted to think about that time. Next week Edward and the whole group would be on the other side of the country and I would be back at work. We would be so far apart it wasn't funny. Now I didn't even have the wedding to pull me through. Now I wouldn't have one last kiss and hug from the man I loved and I couldn't even begin to see when I would get it again.

Edward was hurting so I didn't air my own selfish thoughts. He was trying to deal with more than just his concern for me and the possibility of us not seeing each other for quite a while. He had all the others to worry about. Alice and Rosalie's safety, the possibility that Jasper or Emmett would cross paths with James and do something they would regret, his own ever growing need to harm another human being just so that the whole nightmare could be over. He had disclosed all of this to me during our many conversations over the last couple of days and I had listened to him, knowing that it was all I could do to help him through it. My own needs and wants would have to take a backburner. Edward was what was important here.

"Bella, it took every ounce of my will power and a whole lot of threats, for him to even let me come so that I could fulfil my promise to Angela. Of course it meant that Jasper had to come too because the poor man is not willing to let me out of his eyesight at the moment." Alice sighed and I looked at her carefully. Her usual exuberance had been dulled as if someone had come along and wiped the sheen off her personality. This whole situation was taking a huge toll on all of them. She must feel so scared knowing how close James had got to her. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her slight frame willing as much of my strength as I could into her tiny body. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone in this.

"Well I am glad you have a strong will Alice because I am so happy to have you here," I forced the cheeriness into my voice. "We are going to have a ball at this wedding and besides who else would be able to turn this Cinderella into the princess that Angela deserves by her side?"

Alice laughed as she returned my hug tightly and I enjoyed the sound. "Thank you,"

I wasn't used to the more subdued Alice and it didn't sit right with me unless she was being a boundless ball of energy bossing everyone around her into giving her her own way. Once Angela returned, in her own state of giddy excitement beside her mother, I saw a bit of the normal Alice appear as she began to take control of getting us all ready for today's ceremony. I watched happily as she ooohed and ahhed over our beautiful dresses and tried her best to ensure we looked like models for this special occasion of Angela's. I tried to take a leaf out of her book and push my own negative emotions down as deep as I could so that Angela's special day was not ruined by anything. Alice, had so much more than me to be worried about and she was doing a great job at appearing normal now, so I could do it too.

Once all the primping and preening had been completed and Alice had helped us into our dresses we stood in front of the mirror, looking at ourselves in disbelief. Alice had worked her magic and it was way beyond either of our expectations. For once I actually felt beautiful but even more importantly Angela's own underrated beauty had been highlighted and she looked exquisite in her happiness. Alice was serenely looking at us both with unshed tears in her eyes, admiring her handiwork and nodding her head in appreciation.

"You look gorgeous, honey," Mrs Weber was trying hard to contain her own tears.

"Oh Alice. You have done such a wonderful job. I could never have imagined I could look like this for my wedding day," Angela was turning her head from right to left scanning the impact of her hair lightly grazing her shoulders as she did so. "Is this really me? I feel like a princess. Ben will think it's the wrong girl walking down to meet him at the alter."

"I very much doubt that Angela. All I have done is highlighted all your very own beauty. He will see you for exactly who you are: his very beautiful soon to be wife. Speaking of which, we should really get your photos done and then get going to the church. Your Prince Charming is waiting for you."

While Angela's friend Tash took a variety of posed photos of Angela and her parents, I walked Alice down to Jasper so that they could leave and get to the church before we did.

"Wow, Bella you look absolutely stunning," Jasper smiled gently at me and as always his calming influence erased some of the butterflies I had in my stomach. Being the centre of attention was not my favourite thing and I was sure I would trip or something whilst everyone's eyes were on me walking down the aisle. "I hope my girl did not show preference up there and actually make the bridesmaid look better than the bride. That would be mighty unfair."

Alice went up to move into the circle of his arms and stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "For your information, I showed no preference and both the girls are looking gorgeous. Wait until you see the bride. She will leave you breathless."

"Well we will see about that, won't we darling because up until now you have been the only one who has managed to do that to me. I kind of like it like that."

They continued their banter as they left the house to head to the church. Their ability to be so loving and carefree with one another made me feel suddenly very much alone. Even if Edward had been able to come today we would still have had to act like nothing was going on between us and as much as I agreed with the necessity of doing that, it still hurt. I wanted what Jasper and Alice had but more than anything I wanted Edward to be here with me now attending the wedding of my best friend and helping us all celebrate such a wonderful occasion with nothing causing us any harm at all.

"Bella, Tash wants a photo of the two of us getting in the car. Are you ready to leave now," I arranged the smile on my face so that Angela would not be aware of my inner turmoil and turned to nod my agreeance.

"Of course….let's go and get you married."

The sea of faces waiting for us outside the church almost sent me into a state of hyper ventilation. I tried to calm myself down by telling myself over and over that they were here for Angela not for me, they would be looking at only Angela, not worried about what the bridesmaid was doing, but it wasn't working as I hoped. So many cameras were flashing as we were helped out of the hired cars. I took a moment to look up into Angela's face and saw her absolute happiness and excitement reflected there. That was what helped me. This was all about Angela now and it was my job to ensure everything went perfectly for her. She didn't need her only bridesmaid to faint, simply from the attention being paid to us. I was going to behave gracefully even if it killed me, which right at this moment I wondered if it would.

As we made our way inside the church I noticed that Angela's twin brothers, Isaac and Joshua were ushering the guests to their seats so that the ceremony could start. We stood at the back of the great hall in readiness for the music to start when Angela turned to me with panicked eyes and whispered urgently. "Bella, my grandmothers brooch. I've lost the brooch. I can't go down there without it. It's a tradition in the family to wear it when we walk down the aisle. What do I do?"

I assured Angela that I would find it in the car. It had definitely been on her when we had left the house so it couldn't be too far away now. I dashed out to the car to see if luck was on our side. In this case it was and I successfully claimed the brooch off the floor of the car before spinning quickly to get back inside. I went around to the side entrance to get myself back beside Angela without anyone seeing my mercy dash and in my hurry I did the one thing I was so worried about doing; I tripped and would have landed quite awkwardly on the stairs if someone had not grabbed me and pulled me upright again. I didn't even need to look up to know who my savior had been; my bodies reaction had told me everything to know; there was only one person who could make my heart accelerate at such a ridiculous speed; there was no one else who could make me want to forget about what was happening around me and instead press myself against them so that I was close enough.

"Edward?" I was sure the confusion I could hear in my own voice would also be seen in the surprised look I was giving him.

"Are you ok Bella? You were about to take a nasty tumble." Edward murmured softly to me and his hands were gently rubbing the top of my arms where he had grabbed me to stop my fall.

I ignored his question. "You are here. Oh my god you actually came," I wanted to throw my arms around his neck in pure happiness that he was standing right there in front of me but something held me back and as I looked around I realized there were a couple of people giving us inquisitive glances as they dashed into the church before the ceremony started. I could not show any emotion towards Edward right now even though I was practically bursting with the joy of knowing he had decided to come.

"Yes I am and you need to go in. I will talk to you later," As he spoke his hands drifted down to feather along my arm and then he shoved them both into the pockets of his pants as if that was the best place to keep them to refrain from touching me. I read the longing in his eyes and it was just another thing to make me happy.

I swiveled to leave him but he leant into me before I could take the steps needed to get me back to Angela.

"Bella, you look….. you look incredibly ……….alluring."

I smiled in acknowledgement of his compliment and somehow made it back to Angela who was ecstatic to see I had found her brooch. As if on cue the music started and it was time for us to head down the aisle. I had no time to think about what I was about to do and began to walk as confidently as I could, smiling at the guests who were on either side of me. I saw Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward standing together about half way down the churches pews and almost laughed as Emmett stuck his two thumbs up to show his appreciation. It was such an Emmett thing to do and Rosalie's thump on his arm was everything I would expect from her. I loved that they were all here.

Ben's brother Jay was standing at the end of the aisle waiting to escort me to my place near Angela's father who was leading the ceremony. Everyone stood as Angela and her mother appeared and proceeded down the ailse at a leisurely rate, smiling at family and friends as they passed. Angela looked the perfect picture of happiness and when I looked at Ben, he was watching her with an awestruck gaze. These two were definitely meant to be together.

Mr Webber leant forward and kissed his daughters cheek once Mrs Webber had passed Angela's hand to Ben's.

"Who as representatives of the families bring their blessings to this marriage?" Mr Webber's voice held pride and love as he began.

"I bring our blessings, asking our Lord for His Spirit with Ben and Angela." Mrs Webber stated clearly and then joined the rest of the audience who were looking on.

From then on, Mr Webber conducted the ceremony with love for his god, love for his daughter and love for his future son-in-law. He spoke of all the things that are important in leading a happy life and being part of a successful marriage. We all listened; every one of us happy that these two people who loved one another so much would soon be husband and wife and embarking on a new way of life together. I tried very hard not to look at Edward as the ceremony passed so only once did I dare glance his way to find his eyes on me with an unfathomable expression on his face. When our eyes met his mouth upturned into the half smile that made him look so appealing and I felt my own mouth respond in kind. He might have had second thoughts about being here but I was so incredibly happy that he had decided to ignore them and come.

Once the ceremony had finished and Ben had kissed his new bride until she was breathless with a combination of love and embarrassment, the bridal party filed out of the church and the greetings started. Although most people were trying to pay their respects and congratulations to the bride and groom I found myself also caught up in the never ending commentary on how beautiful we all looked and how lovely the ceremony had been. People I hadn't seen in years seemed to have memories of how they thought I used to be and often I was laughing along with people about events I hadn't thought about in years. I kept my attention on Angela and Ben so that I would be ready when it was time to leave and get to the reception and it appeared that they were coming to the end of their congratulatory parade. As I considered this I was lifted up in a huge bear hug from behind which resulted in an almost breathless screech from escaping my lips. I hadn't expected that. I swiveled quickly as my feet were touching the ground again and looked up into the hulking presence of Jake.

"Bella Swan. You are looking mighty gorgeous in that dress. Pity you have a boyfriend now," Jake teased "otherwise I would be making sure you didn't leave my side all night."

I was about to tell him to behave himself; we had moved past all of that in the past couple of weeks with his acceptance that Edward and I were together and that I still didn't want to lose my best friend, when a nasally voice interrupted our banter.

"Bella has a boyfriend? Huh, that's news to me. You've been holding out on us sweetie. Who on earth would see you as girlfriend material? Do spill."

I cast a scathing look in Jacob's direction, silently moaning about his accidental slip at the wrong time, but he was staring at Lauren with his own angry expression and I sighed. Here we go.

"I am pretty sure we were having a private conversation here Lauren and one that is none of your business, to be quite honest. However since you asked the question I will answer it for you. Plenty of men would think that Bella was pretty good girlfriend material. I could name a few just in this yard alone." He very deliberately began to look around the yard as if he was searching for particular people. "How about good old Mike Newton over there – he's always had a thing for Bella if I remember correctly and then there is also Tyler. Oh yes that's right; he was the one that thought Bella would make better girlfriend material than you would. That's where this whole jealousy started. Grow up Lauren. You can't go through life holding a grudge from high school and belittling a person who has done nothing to you."

Lauren had turned a ghastly shade of red and I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. She had been such a cow to me everytime our paths crossed and she really did make me feel like we were back in highschool again with her snide remarks. I couldn't be angry with Jacob for putting her back in her place but I knew that now my night was going to be a very long one. She wasn't a person who let go of something easily and he had made her mad. She turned on her heel and stalked away from us without uttering another word.

"Nice speech Jacob," Emmett said in appreciation and I twirled around to find Emmett and Jacob shaking hands casually. He cast me a huge grin. "Hiya Bella. Great look on you."

Edward stood beside Emmett and he reached out his hand, also, to give Jacob a handshake before folding his arms across his chest and nodding at me tightly. "Hi Bella. You did a lovely job in there." A small sliver of alarm slid up my spine. I knew we were pretending to not be together but surely a little more warmth in his greeting would not be too wayward. What was his problem?

Jacob arched his eyebrows at Edward before responding to Emmett. "Yeh well she had it coming. Never leaves Bella alone, if she happens to come across her, which is not so often anymore. Thank goodness."

"I could have dealt with it Jake. You didn't need to say all that," I tried to reason with him but he just guffawed at me and Edward chuckled.

"Ever the independent one Bella, but Jacob's way was much more interesting. We got to hear which boys here have crushes on you. That's some useful information to have."

"That's some very inaccurate information to have Edward. Jacob is talking about things that happened years ago. Everyone has moved on from that by now."

"At least that's what you hope for, Bella." Jacob sighed and then thought about where he was and whose company he was in and appeared a little embarrassed. "Anyway Bella I think you're meant to be going with the bridal party now. Talk to you at the reception.'

"Yes sure Jake but do me a favour and try not to talk about me and boyfriends in the one sentence. I don't want to be put in that situation again. Nice seeing you Edward and Emmett," So unnatural but what could I do? I raced over to Angela to do my job, all the while groaning that I had just told my boyfriend that 'it was nice to see him'. Our stance at not revealing ourselves was wearing thin already and we were only at the beginning of the night.


	28. Chapter 28: Heartbreak

Chapter 28–

BPOV - Heartache

Mist Valley Inn was lit up beautifully as we entered the grounds after having all of the photos taken. Angela and Ben's guests were all waiting for their arrival and we were looking forward to the celebration part of the night as we entered and began to mingle with friends and family. Cocktail food and drinks were served in generous proportions as waiters and waitresses moved amongst the crowds of high spirited people and everyone was either interacting with old friends or new acquaintances. Although I listened with interest to anyone who spoke to me, I realized that I was only half heartedly involved due to my preoccupation with what Edward was doing. He mingled with the crowd as if he didn't have a care in the world but when it came to me he was distant and moody. He never found a reason to come and stand by me or join a group of people I was with, as he had on previous occasions when we were in public. When Alice or any of the others came to speak to me, or I moved towards them, he excused himself to find someone else to talk to. Edward was ignoring me beyond just trying to put people off our scent. Something was very wrong.

"Nice evening, hey?" Rosalie looked beautiful in her dark green dress that hugged her body to show her figure at its best. Rosalie was really model material and, even dressed and made up the way I was, I felt plain in comparison.

I nodded at her observation. Everything certainly was going well for Angela and Ben's celebration. "They were pretty lucky I think. The weather has given them the best possible start to an evening of fun. It is good that you guys were able to make it."

"Edward suddenly changed his mind. Not sure why. One moment he was preaching the whole ' I can't put Bella in any kind of danger' line and the next he told us we had flights to get here on time. I seriously can't work him out at the moment. He seems all over the place." It was evident that Rosalie found the whole thing quite tiresome and frustrating. "Glad to be here though. It is nice to be surrounded by normal people with normal ideals in life rather than watching a marriage take place which is all about show business and who is going to make you all the more richer. It's a nice change."

I abruptly changed the subject . "Edward is ignoring me,"

"Hmm. Does appear to be, doesn't he. Again I don't know what's going on in that mind of his. I think he sees James lurking in every shadow there is. I wouldn't take it personally. He probably is going over the top with ensuring that no one can pin the two of you together."

Rosalie's reasoning I could understand and I found myself relaxing a little to heed her advice. "Aren't you worried about James somehow being here?"

"No chance," Rosalie was confident. "We flew to Canada this morning as far as the public are aware. Laurent put the story out that we were attending a family wedding there. By the time James finds out otherwise; that we really came to the sleepy town of Forks, we would have returned to San Francisco before he would have any opportunity to follow us. Not that I think he would. I am not sure he has the resources to follow us to every little place we happen to go to. He picks and chooses carefully where he is making his presence known. He knows we are in San Fran for another week or so. He would be sitting there waiting for us. Why move when we are coming back to him."

"Wow, you have it all worked out, don't you," I was in awe. Rosalie was so casual in letting me know how she thought James ticked.

"Emmett and I have discussed it at great length, when Edward is not around of course. I think that is why Emmett was so keen for us to come to the wedding. He and Edward have been arguing about it for the past couple of days. Emmett thinks that we are safer here than in San Francisco and I think he needed a break from worrying constantly about James trying to hurt me."

"You guys really have a lot on your plate don't you?"

"Nothing we can't handle but I do have to admit that it gets a bit tiring to always be worrying about it."

A waiter passed us and Rosalie very deftly grabbed two flutes of champagne from his tray and handed one to me. She clinked her glass against mine. "Here's to James getting his just desserts and us getting some peace."

We sipped our champagne as we monitored what was going on around us and chatted about more inconsequential things.

"Well hello ladies. Bella you look breath taking tonight," Tyler had appeared by our side and was raising my hand to kiss it with relish. As I pulled my hand away from him I had to stop myself from wiping it against my dress to remove the feel of his lips. Tyler was harmless and he didn't deserve that insult.

"And who is your lovely friend here."

I wasn't sure if Tyler was acting or not. It was quite possible that he did not know who Rosalie was. After all I hadn't known who Edward was when I met him but it seemed unlikely given the whispers I had been hearing about the Cullens during the course of the night. I chose to play along.

"Tyler Crowley, meet Rosalie Hale,"

Tyler gazed speculatively at Rosalie who held out her hand in welcome. I noted that she was back to the ice princess routine, so she had registered his interest and was ensuring it wouldn't be encouraged. If Tyler thought he had a chance with Rosalie he had just been brought into a better understanding.

Jay coming to find me to let me know that speeches and the cutting of the cake were about to take place interrupted poor Tyler's attempt to make an impression on Rosalie and she excused herself to find her family. I gave my own apologies to Tyler for leaving him and headed over to the table that had been set up for the cake. The butterflies were in my stomach for the umpteenth time today. I had promised Angela that I would make a speech and regardless of my feelings on the matter, a promise was a promise and I didn't want to let her down.

The appropriate people made the appropriate speeches and before too long it was my turn. I took in a deep breath and looked around the crowd of people; each person waiting and smiling at me. I kept searching until I found the face I wanted to see the most and when I found him I mentally relaxed. Edward was smiling at me in encouragement; knowing that this was going to be difficult for me.

"_For those of you who know me you would understand how difficult a task this is for me to stand up in front of all of you to speak. However I couldn't let this special day go by without at least saying something about two of my closest friends in the world, who have stood by my side through so many aspects of our lives together. _

_Angela became my closest friend in highschool and that friendship was only cemented once we started university and decided to flat together. I know all her habits; good and bad and she knows all mine and yet we still remain close. She is my confidant, my support, my friend for life and the sister I chose to have. She deserves the absolute best and she has got it with Ben. She chose a partner who is caring, strong and who will love her as unconditionally as he always has. When people talk of couples who are meant to be together they are talking about couples such as Angela and Ben – two people who know everything there is to know about one another and accept it without pause; two people willing to support each other through thick and thin and two people who will work at their marriage together as the most important part of their lives. For that reason I want you to raise your glass to the two people who mean something special to each and every one of us here – Angela and Ben; may your marriage be full of everything that is good and perfect because no one deserves it more than you."_

I could feel my eyes fill with tears as I raised my glass to Angela and Ben. It hit me that everything I said was true but now our lives were changing and although our friendship would never end, life was going to be very different for all of us. I would no longer have Angela's presence in my home; she would not be there at the end of a hard day to discuss things with; I would not be able to revel in the fact that in the room next to mine there slept the person who knew the most about me out of any other living being in the world. I was going to miss her.

Angela came forward and hugged me tightly to her. "Thank you Bella. You mean everything to me to."

The cake cutting took place and then it was time for us to watch Angela and Ben dance their wedding waltz. Soon Jay had me in his arms and was trying very hard to not have his feet trodden on by the uncoordinated bridesmaid who never danced, as he whirled me around the floor. He was good natured about it and we laughed to keep me from collapsing in a great ball of embarrassment. As soon as possible I escaped the dance floor and made my way to the sidelines to watch, rather than be watched.

So many people were out there dancing in couples; Charlie and Sue, Esme and Carlisle, Jessica and Mike, Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, Jacob and a girl I didn't recognise. I checked around the room to find that Edward had been accosted by Lauren who had obviously put aside the insult Edward had laid on her at the engagement party and was trying to get him to dance with her. His hands were running through his hair and I gasped at the thought of how incredibly sexy that action made him. He didn't realize just how partial I was to that particular movement. His eyes met mine across the room but he didn't smile; he looked resigned and let himself be led onto the dance floor by an overly zealous Lauren. Again the alarm bells were ringing. Edward was acting out of character, dancing with a person he disliked as if he had no choice about the matter.

I watched them with jealousy. Lauren was pushing herself against Edward to ensure he knew of her attraction for him and he was constantly trying to put distance between them without physically pushing her away. She was speaking up to him and I could see that he was gradually getting angrier and angrier by the look on his face until finally he let go of her and stalked off to where his parents were chatting. Edward said something to them and they looked at Lauren, with distaste as she flung daggers at Edward's back. I was curious as to what had just happened but my attention was taken away when I found myself being pulled onto the dance floor by Mike Newton.

"You would think you would know better than this Mike. You've been at the painful end of dancing with me before," I tried to make light of what I knew was about to occur. Mike had always been very sweet in making me feel like I belonged and helping me to not be left on the sidelines at parties and the such because of my clumsiness. Everyone said he had ulterior motives back then but he had never been disturbingly pushy and I quite liked him when he wasn't making doe eyes at me.

"For old times sake Bella," He grinned as he spun me into his arms. I attempted to relax into his hold so that I didn't do too much damage but still found myself stepping on his toes at consistent intervals. He very gallantly tried to keep the winces off his face.

"You look lovely Bella. It seems like life is treating you well." Mike put his mouth to my ear so that I could hear him over the music.

I nodded up at him. "Thanks Mike. You look good too. Life is going well. How about yourself?"

"All good." He flinched slightly as my foot came into contact with his ankle this time. "Lauren told Jess and I that you have a new boyfriend. Who is it? I am surprised he is not here with you tonight."

He is. I wanted to say to him with pride in my voice but I refrained. "Oh. It's no one you would know. He is travelling at the moment so couldn't get here. A shame, but he couldn't help it."

I was waiting for him to push for more information but he was distracted by the sudden arrival of another person.

"Would you mind if I cut in," Edward asked Mike politely and Mike looked at me questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders a little to indicate it didn't worry me and Mike relinquished his hold on me.

"It was really nice to catch up with you Bella. We'll talk later."

Edward took me into his arms and it took every ounce of my control not to automatically melt into him so that there was no distance between us at all. I had to make do with the electrical currents that were racing through my hands and up into my arms in response to his very controlled hold on me.

"You've decided to talk to me?" I couldn't help the accusation creeping into my voice.

"Of course. Who was that?" There was no warmth in Edward's voice at all.

"That was Mike Newton; an old school friend,"

"Ah, one of the guys who would see you as girlfriend material." Edward muttered and I searched his face for some sign that the real Edward was there, not this sarcastic, cool man who was struggling with something I wasn't aware of.

"Jacob was talking about things that happened years ago. Edward, what is going on?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You are not yourself. You came. You should be having a good time."

"I came against my better judgement Bella." I cringed at the bitterness underlying his words. I chose to change the subject rather than deal with an argument.

"What happened with Lauren?" Edward looked startled for a moment and then anger flashed behind his eyes.

"She made me uncomfortable all pushed up against me like that." Edward stated.

"I could see that but what did she say that made you so angry?"

Edward was silently warring with himself; I could see it with the play of expressions across his face.

"She was asking me to relax and she was suggesting that we might like to get closer to one another in a….. well you know what kind of a way."

My eyes widened. The audacity of that women. I knew I was pretty innocent about those kinds of things but I would never dream of coming straight out to a near stranger and asking them to have sex with me. Where was her self respect?

"and then when I declined her offer she started to get angry and told me not to waste my time with innocent, virginal Bella Swan because you were just a tease with all the boys and never followed through."

"She said what?" I choked on my words. How dare she say that about me. Edward's hand on my back began to rub the small circles I liked so much and I realized he was trying to calm me without making it too evident. That was more like my Edward.

"You heard what I said, and I put her in her place so you needn't worry yourself about it."

"How can you even say that Edward? She has just insulted me in the most disgusting way possible. I have never teased a boy in my life. I wouldn't even know the first thing about how to do that and she…"

"Bella, I know you haven't. She is a jealous person with no self esteem. Let it go. I sorted her out and let her know exactly what I thought of her innuendos."

I became silent and allowed Edward to move me around the floor without actually thinking about it.

"Does it worry you that I am a…. you know…what she said?"

Edward looked slightly amused but didn't out and out laugh at me because he could see my question was serious. His face became impassive. "Bella, do you really want to talk about sex in the middle of the dance floor?" he whispered softly in my ear.

"Not really but does it?"

Edward went to lift his hand up to touch my face and then dropped it back to my back as he groaned in frustration that he couldn't touch me the way he wanted. He leant towards me so that only I could hear his words.

"I think it's really special that you have waited for the person you want to be with for a lifetime. No it does not worry me at all."

I felt the smile cross my face and allowed my happiness to be seen as I stared up at Edward's perfect face. He caught his breath and closed his eyes briefly before smiling at me in return. I vaguely sensed that Tash was taking photos around us but I didn't take too much notice because I was so caught up in seeing the real Edward finally coming out for the night and wanted to enjoy the moment.

"Bella, let's just enjoy this time we have tonight. Ok. I am sorry I have been distant but I have had a lot on my mind."

I readily agreed, even though I couldn't shake off the sense that although Edward was here with me, he was already saying goodbye to me before he left.

The night passed pleasantly enough. I danced a few dances with Edward who was the only one I didn't seem to have coordination problems with. I conversed with a variety of people about all kinds of subjects and spent quite a bit of time with Jacob and some of the other boys from La Push. Luckily Lauren did not come near me the entire night because I wasn't sure I would be able to contain my anger with her and that would definitely cause a scene that was not needed at Angela's expense.

Towards the end of the night I headed towards the room that had been allocated to the bridal party to grab what Angela would need when she left. I was transferring some of the makeup she had used for today across into her toiletries bag and accidently dropped a lipstick onto the floor. I was bent down searching for it so that I was between the back of a lounge and the table against the wall, cursing myself for being so clumsy, when the door to the room opened and I instantly froze in my place near the floor. Edward and Jacob had entered and they were arguing. I couldn't bring myself to let them know that I was in the room also. Something told me I needed to hear this. I couldn't see them but I could hear them clearly. Someone had shut the door behind them.

"I need you to promise me," Edward was saying urgently to Jacob.

"Man you're doing the wrong thing. You are not giving Bella enough credit here. She's strong. She can get through this." Jacob was sure of his words. What wasn't Edward giving me credit for?

"I can't live like this; I can't even contemplate her getting hurt and she will, Jacob. It is only a matter of time before James finds out about her and he will think he has won the lottery with that knowledge. I shouldn't even be here tonight but I felt I at least owed her to tell her face to face."

"You said you loved her Edward. You can't turn around now and leave her. She will be devastated."

"I did say that but things have changed. I can't be with Bella anymore. I need you to promise."

I listened with a breaking heart as I realized what was going on; what I had subconsciously been aware of all night. Something was definitely wrong and it was the prospect that Edward was going to break it off with me. Jacob sighed heavily.

"I can promise you that I will look out for her Edward but that is about it. I can't promise that I can make her forget about you by encouraging her to be with me instead. I've worked out these past few weeks that, regardless of you, it was never going to happen. Bella won't go that way and there is no way I am pushing myself onto her."

"I thought you loved her. I thought you would jump at the opportunity to be the one she turned to," Edward' was the one being accusing now. He sounded so desperate. I could feel the anger radiating off me as I began to understand what he was doing.

Jacob answered and my heart swelled with pride that he was showing himself to be a true friend who knew me well.

"I do love her Edward but I know Bella well enough to know she would never turn to me in that way. She loves me but she is in love with you. She can't just turn that off because you are making a decision that is going to hurt her deeply. Think about it Edward. This is all wrong. Find a way to fix it. I am not the way."

"OK. I guess I will have to accept that you will be there for her as a friend. It was a stupid idea; I only want her to live a happy life, Jacob. I thought you could help her do that. You were the one who told me originally to leave her alone – not to put her in danger." I tried to ignore the sadness in Edward's voice. I wanted to retain the anger with him, not feel sorry for him.

"Yeh but that was before I knew how much you meant to her; before I saw how much you loved her too. Are you really willing to go through with this Edward? It is obvious to me that you love her a great deal. Can you really walk away from her as if she means nothing? Can you let go of your own happiness so easily."

"I can if it means she won't have to worry about the likes of James. I can if I know she will eventually get over me and move on to have the life she deserves."

"Then you're a fool, Edward Cullen. Through and through, you are a fool." Jacob spoke decisively and I heard him open the door and close it behind himself again. I knew Edward was still in here because I could hear his labored breathing as he sat on the lounge. I couldn't stay still any longer and stood up so that I was no longer hidden by the lounge. It took Edward a moment to register that he was not alone in the room and I had almost got past him to the door before he gasped out my name. I turned and gave him a look that I could only imagine highlighted my absolute desolation and anger at what I had just heard. He was instantly up and had moved quicker than I thought possible to bar me from leaving the room.

"I am so sorry Bella. I had no idea that you were in here. I didn't mean for you to hear any of that. Oh god. It looks so bad. Please understand….." his voice trailed off. I did not answer him. I could feel the red hot anger eating away at me trying to find some sort of release. I was controlling it, barely.

"Bella we need to talk about this. You need to understand why I am doing this,"

"How dare you," I said through clenched teeth and tried to move past him to get to the door. He moved to the side to stop me in my tracks.

"Bella," he reached out to me and I stared at his hand in fury. My hands stayed rigidly by my side.

"Without having any kind of discussion with me you've decided that we need to end our relationship and to top it all off you were planning to just palm me off to the next best thing so that your conscience is clear."

"It wasn't like that." Edward was pleading now but it was too late. The anger within me was uncaged now and I was going to let him have it.

"It wasn't like that? You were trying to get Jacob to take me off your hands. I heard you Edward. How. Dare. You."

My hand rising to slap Edward across the face startled me almost as much as it stunned Edward but he managed to only slightly flinch as it made contact leaving a red stain across his cheek. I lifted it again; the fury overtaking any sensible choices I might make but this time Edward caught my wrist as it was about to collide with his cheek for the second time and it brought me too close to his body. I did not need my body to betray me now while I was so resentful and hurt. The anger poked at me again and I attempted to slap him with my free hand but it was also caught quickly by Edward's strong grip and the momentum resulted in me being up against the wall with Edward's hands pressing my arms against the wall on either side of my head so that I couldn't attack him another time. Edward's eyes were searching mine with a look of utter disbelief on his face. They softened as he saw the hurt and desperation that I was feeling behind the bravado of slapping him. I could feel his cool breath against my face as he tried to control his own equilibrium.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He was shaking his head slightly in denial of what had just passed between us. He looked so contrite and I found myself desperate to kiss him. If he was going to end it between us let him remember what he was missing out on. I abruptly leant my face forward and placed my lips against his with as much pressure as I could. He stiffened in surprise but then couldn't deny me and he firmly opened my mouth with his tongue so that we were intertwined in an intimate manner that spoke more than words could.

Desperation was in that kiss. Edward moved his hands slightly so that they were no longer holding my hands against the wall in a vice grip but we were linked together by our fingers. He moved closer to me so that I could feel the full length of his body against mine and his need was very apparent. The kiss continued and I felt his hand move away from the wall and begin to run through my hair. I moaned and he acknowledged the sound by running the other hand down my back and to my hips so that he was pushing me even closer to himself. I found my own hands roving over his body and something told me we needed to stop before we got anymore out of hand. The atmosphere was adrenaline charged. I knew that if he wanted me right now I was willing to give everything I had to him and it wasn't the right time for that. What was happening between us now was unadulterated need and desperation, knowing that it was likely we would never be this close again.

I put my arms up in surrender so that I was no longer touching him and I tried to slow the kissing down a bit, even as it killed me to do so. Edwards hands were on either side of my hips now and his mouth was no longer kissing mine, although I could still feel his lips feathering against my lips as he attempted to pull away from me. Our heads were so close and the look he was giving me was beyond any kind of pain I had ever seen. His eyes were glazed over with a combination of desire and a huge amount of loss. I knew in that moment that that kiss had been our swan song. Edward was going to leave me with the idea that he was doing the best thing for me. I couldn't speak to rally against it. I just stood and felt it as he pulled himself away from me allowing his hands to graze against my hips one last time. He closed his eyes minutely and then shook his head as if he had no words to express what had happened and what was about to happen. I could feel my own eyes tear up and tried to force myself to speak before he left me for good. Nothing came out. He bowed his head in abject sorrow and started to move towards the door. He refused to look at me, although he stopped at one point as if he wanted to say something to me. I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge him. Edward was walking out on me for good and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. The horror of it bent me to its will and I slid down the wall to the ground once he was out the door and let the tears flow unchallenged.

Edward loved me; there was no doubt about that but he was willing to leave me anyway.


	29. Chapter 29:Warring Emotions

Chapter 29 –

EPOV – Warring Emotions

My emotions were see sawing at an alarming rate as I wrestled with what I needed to do. One moment I was entirely sure that I was doing the right thing in keeping Bella from my life, by breaking off the relationship now before we were even deeper in than we already were. The next I was contemplating what it would be like not to have her by my side and the thought was so painful that I almost forgot my determination to keep her from harm. I strengthened my resolve though, when I thought of how close Alice and Rosalie had come to being hurt by James. There was no possible way I was going to let him do that to Bella. She was better off living a care free life with someone less complicated, than she was always looking over her shoulder. My argument was nothing new. I had been doing it from the moment I had met her and I had allowed myself to be talked into trying; I had allowed her to get under my skin so completely that it was going to be close to impossible to ever remove her essence from my life.

Jasper and Alice had left for the wedding and I had still been in a state of quandary. Emmett was not happy that we were not attending the wedding, although Rosalie didn't appear perturbed at all. For some reason Emmett had a huge soft spot for Bella now, bringing out his protective side and he was constantly on my back about letting her down and asked me if it was so easy to hurt her feelings the way I was. If only he had known what I had been contemplating in the hours it took me to finally make the decision and re book flights, he would have been absolutely livid with me. When I told them we had flights and we were heading to Forks, Emmett had seemed remarkably relieved and looked like he had won a battle. I was feeling even more guilty for what I was about to do because he hadn't won; he had lost it in a way I wasn't willing to reveal to him yet.

Seeing Bella had been my undoing and again the see saw balanced in her favour; who was I kidding – in our favour. She looked a picture of perfection; all femininity and softness and I so wanted to grab her from outside that church and carry her off to any place where I could still stay with her and she would be entirely safe from anyone or anything that wished to harm her. She was entirely focused on doing her job for Angela and was not aware that I was there until that moment when she had slipped and I had been there to stop her fall. Her very evident happiness at seeing me there was marred by the fact that I couldn't even hold her or kiss that beautiful face in greeting as two people in a normal relationship could. The see saw tipped a little; Bella deserved more than this.

I was inwardly squirming as the wedding ceremony took place. I was sure it was a beautiful service but I was in my own kind of hell watching Bella and trying to be decisive enough to make a choice one way or another. The ceremony only reminded me that chances were that Bella and I would never get to experience this kind of outpouring of love to one another. Bella was the type of woman who should have the chance to settle down with the person she loved and raise a family of kids; could she get that with me? I knew the answer was no for so many reasons but the greatest one being that James had control over me; I could not expose children to that constant threat just like I couldn't expose Bella. The tables had turned yet again and I was finding it difficult to deal with my own emotions. I needed to get tonight over and done with. I knew I was going to break Bella's heart but it was better than her being physically and mentally broken later on down the track.

Decision made, I steeled myself for what was to come. I avoided Bella so that she couldn't make me see things differently yet again. I tried to ignore that every time I saw her, my awareness of her was super keen and my heart sank with the magnitude of what it would be like when she was no longer there. The few times we made eye contact I couldn't help but smile at her and her face lit up in response. I felt like the most terrible of monsters for the entirety of that evening but I kept telling myself that this was for the best; not for me but for Bella.

Things went from bad to worse when Lauren asked me to dance. I didn't like her one bit; she was constantly rude to Bella and if it hadn't been for Jacob's retaliation earlier, I would have felt the need to come to Bella's defense and the girl was already suspicious enough about our relationship as it was. Accepting her request had been all about not giving her a reason to make life difficult for Bella and by the end of the dance I knew I had not achieved that mission. I had probably made it worse with my anger and put down of her as I stalked away. I couldn't help it; all my baled up emotions were clamoring for release and when she started talking about Bella so disrespectfully I saw nothing but red and acted accordingly. I felt like taking a shower just to get the feel of that girl's body off me. She was a proper bitch.

Next Alice had accosted me.

"Please do not tell me that you are going to walk away from her again Edward," I looked at her blankly.

"I saw it, you moron. Her devastation; yours. You do not need to do this. You can't do it. " She grabbed onto my shirt and I glared down at her petite hand wishing she would leave me alone. "Promise me, Edward."

"I can't," I muttered darkly and put distance between us so I didn't lose my nerve.

Then there had been Jacob. In the past few weeks we had reached a state of reasonable acceptance of each other. He was important to Bella and I made it my aim to make that friendship important to me too. Bella had constantly told me how much she appreciated both of us trying and it was now at a stage where I felt somewhat comfortable with him as a person. His defense of Bella earlier had given me the idea that maybe I could make things better for Bella if I encouraged Jacob to look after her, once I was gone, and even maybe try to see if he could get her to forget about me by pursuing her. He loved her and I knew he was a good guy; someone who would appreciate what Bella would give him. The very thought of it ate away at my insides but I wanted Bella to be happy with a normal boyfriend; I didn't want her pining for me when there was no future to it. Jacob's reaction to my request had shown me exactly how inappropriate the idea had been. I definitely wasn't thinking straight. Everything I did seemed completely wrong. I was more than a regular douchebag.

And now here I was with Bella staring at me through dull, lifeless eyes; accusing me without words for the greatest insult I had just laid on her. I couldn't believe that she had witnessed my lowest point with Jacob; she had found out what my intentions were before I had had the chance to speak to her on her own. I had gone about this all the wrong way and I was beginning to realize it was something I was getting good at; making mistakes where Bella was concerned.

"How dare you." There was nothing held back in the fury Bella was displaying towards me. She tried to move past me but I couldn't let her. We couldn't end it like this; with her hearing all the wrong things. I needed to make her understand.

I breathed her name and reached out to her. She was having nothing of it. She kept her hands by her side not willing to meet me half way at all. When she spoke to me she was basically hissing the words. I had never seen Bella in such a state of rage and it frightened me that I was the cause of it.

"Without having any kind of discussion with me you've decided that we need to end our relationship and to top it all off you were planning to just palm me off to the next best thing so that your conscience is clear."

Oh my god, that was exactly what it would have looked like and there was nothing I would be able to say to make her realize that it wasn't what I had been trying to do. There was no way to explain that I would put her before anything else as long as she was safe and happy. What I had done seemed so bad.

I pleaded with her but it didn't get through.

"It wasn't like that?" Her sarcasm hid her greater hurt "You were trying to get Jacob to take me off your hands. I heard you Edward. How. Dare. You."

The slap across my face wasn't expected but I knew that I more than deserved it so I tried to accept it without showing any kind of incrimination. Too soon she was raising her hand to me again and I reflexively grabbed her wrist to stop her from making contact. I knew Bella enough to know that if she kept hitting me she was going to regret it fully tomorrow. I would almost lay my life on it that she had never ever raised a finger against anyone else before in her life. I thought she would stop, that somehow it would sink in that she was attacking me physically and she would be able to calm herself but I was wrong. Within seconds her other hand was trying to finish the job of making me hurt and I was forced to grab her other hand as well. She struggled against me and we fell into the wall at her back, my hands holding hers on either side of her head in a vice like grip that I was only just registering.

We were staring at one another in reproach. I was searching for the woman I loved behind the façade of anger and when I saw her; when I registered the deep searing hurt she was experiencing because of me I would have gladly died there and then to take it away. It was too late now; I was going to have to go through with this, like it or not.

"I'm so sorry Bella." My breathing was coming out in wretched hitches of air. I could not bear to see her pain and I could not allow my eyes to leave her face either. Even so, I missed her intention and when she crushed her lips to mine I was so surprised that I froze. She couldn't want to kiss me now. It seemed impossible but then all the pent up emotions came to the fore and I no longer allowed myself to think: I just wanted to feel, so I kissed her back with a fervor both of us couldn't deny and that one kiss turned into so much more. We were pressed so closely together that for a moment I thought I was drowning in her. I wanted so much more than this; mere kisses didn't seem enough. I wanted to idolize her and show her that I truly loved her but it wasn't going to happen. My mind was trying to get through to me; I was leaving her and that meant what I was feeling was too wrong to even be acknowledged. With difficulty I attempted to calm myself and pull away. Piece by piece I pulled my body away and each one felt like a huge tear in my soul. I looked at her one last time and tried to convey without words that although I was doing this to her, to us, it was killing me and that I loved her beyond anything. I wondered if she could see that?

Walking out that door was the hardest thing I had ever done.

Returning to the festivities, I was numb with the pain and strode decisively towards my family who were in a small huddle conversing quietly.

"Alice, she needs you," I spoke harshly and she closed her eyes momentarily before leaving everyone's side and heading towards the place I had just left without looking at me. She was hiding the accusation; I was sure of it.

I reached for my mother in a quick hug and kissed her cheek. "Oh Edward," She sighed and then released me without any further words. My father followed and then I stared Emmett down who was giving me a murderous look but was refraining from making a scene. Rosalie was doing a good job of appearing nonchalant and Jasper was sending me messages of support with his eyes. Damned if I deserved them.

"I will see you at the airport. Don't be late." I threw the words at them in defiance and turned on my heel to leave.

"Fuckin Jerk," Emmett called after me but I didn't make any reply. His insult was nothing compared to the things I was calling myself right now. Nothing he could say to me would make me feel any worse. I had achieved that low point all by myself.


	30. Chapter 30: Picking up the Pieces

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Chapter 30

BPOV – Picking up the Pieces

It was Alice who came to me and it was Alice who held me as I let the tears flow. She silently supported me without words and I was glad for her strength. When I was finally ready to pull myself together it was Alice who helped me make myself presentable and then stood by my side as I pretended that my world had not just turned upside down, as I forced myself to finish the night off being the best brides maid there was for Angela. Luckily for me, the night had almost come to an end anyway so I didn't need to prolong the agony of showing a mask of happiness to everyone I met. Angela left for her hotel, none the wiser that her friend's heart had been broken in two during the happiest day of her own life. That was as it should be.

Of course Edward had left; I couldn't see how he could have possibly stayed after what had happened between the two of us. Besides giving me their goodbyes, the rest of the Cullens, except Jasper who came to be by Alice's side, kept their distance too and I was grateful for it. It was hard enough to maintain some sort of calm demeanour without having to face their undisguised care and sympathy. It would have made me break down a second time.

When the time to leave had come and Alice had helped me get together the last of the presents to be delivered to Angela and Ben's new home in Seattle, I noticed that Jasper and Jacob had their heads together in concentration. I had no doubt that they were discussing me and the thought made me uneasy.

"Come on Bella, that's enough now. We should get you home. It's been a hard day." Alice spoke softly to me and I looked at her blankly. How on earth was I going to manage once I was at home alone, with nothing to distract me from the pain building up inside. Last time I had been angry with Edward I had gone to him and forced him to speak to me. I wouldn't be doing that this time. I would be returning to my empty room and I would be attempting the near impossible; wading through the hurt so that I could get some sleep.

Jasper and Jacob joined us and Jacob placed his arm around my shoulders, attempting to give me his own type of support. I thought back to the conversation he had had with Edward and it was apparent that Jake had been on my side. I acknowledged his support with a non committal lift of my mouth. He squeezed me gently.

"Would you like me to stay with you tonight, Bella so that you aren't alone?" Jake questioned uncertainly. I looked at Alice for some kind of help in what I should do.

"I would offer but I need to sort some things out at home Bella. I will come to see you in the morning I promise. Maybe having Jacob there would be helpful?"

I nodded listlessly. There was only one person I really wanted to be with me tonight and that wasn't going to happen. I knew Jacob enough to know that he was trying to do his best by me, as a friend. He would give me the space to do what I needed but would ensure I had company if I needed it.

Jacob drove me home and we headed up to my room without interruption because Charlie had not yet returned from La , where he had dropped Sue home. I wondered for a brief moment if he would stay with her for the night but then pushed it away; I didn't want to be thinking about my dad's love life when my own was going down the gurgler so majestically.

Everything I did was mechanical. Cleaning my teeth, washing my face, undressing and then dressing so that I was ready for bed. The whole time Jacob kept himself busy getting what he would need so that he could stay somewhat comfortably on the floor of my room. I got into bed quietly and Jacob slipped into the makeshift bed he had conjured up and we turned the lights off. I could hear his breathing loudly in the silence and darkness of the night.

"Thank you Jacob," I whispered into the dark.

"Anytime, Bella." Jacob's voice came back softly. "I am really sorry that things turned out this way."

"I know and thanks for trying to get him to change his mind," I could feel the tears trying to make their way to my eyes and squeezed them together tightly to force them back. Jacob sighed heavily.

"You know he is just confused Bella. If he had been thinking straight he never would have said the things he did. Everything, for him, is about keeping you safe. He doesn't really want you with someone else – least of all me."

I nodded into the darkness, not willing to answer him in case the hurt from Edward's assumptions would make me lash out at Jacob as the only person here. Moments passed.

"What am I meant to do now?" even to my own ears I sounded lost and unsure.

"Keep going Bella. When things aren't going the way we want, you just keep on going," Jacob's voice caught and I berated myself for putting him through this as well. "…..and you hope that he will come to his senses before too long and realize that he has made the biggest mistake of his life. He loves you. As much as I used to want it to be otherwise, there is no doubt about that now."

I listened to his words and turned them over in my mind. He was waiting for some sort of response; I could hear him shifting in his bed.

"I know and that is why I am not so sure he has made a mistake. If our roles were reversed I would do absolutely anything to make sure he wasn't able to get hurt. If that meant staying away from him, I think I would do it. Hell maybe Edward doing this means that he is safer; James won't have me to get at Edward."

Jacob bolted up in bed and reached for my bedside table to turn it on. He looked at me with concern and a little bit of awe.

"Are you serious? Are you telling me that he has done the right thing by leaving you, because I am not buying that, Bella. He should be fighting, not running," Jacob's thick eyebrows were set in a line of frustration.

"I didn't say I think he is right; just that maybe I can understand his thinking. I am more than angry with him right now; he had no right to leave me like this; he had no right to offer me to you as if I was something that could be passed on." I cringed at the memory of their conversation and Jacob cast his eyes away from me as if feeling embarrassed with his part in all that. "….but deep down I have to believe that he is fighting in his own way something he has no idea how to fight against. If I don't, I am going to die a slow death inside and I am not sure I can get through this."

"Of course you can get through this Bella. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. It's going to hurt but in the end you will still get through it." Jacob tried to make his voice sound firm and believing. I reached out for his hand and found his warm grasp engulf mine as the tears began to roll down my cheeks again. He didn't move from his place on the floor to console me; just held my hand tightly.

"With a little bit of help from my friends," I muttered against my arm as I searched his face for some kind of reinforcement of his words.

"With a lot of help, from each and every one of us. I promise Bella. In the end it will work out fine."

I smiled weakly at him in thanks and then reached across with my free hand to turn the lamp off again. I couldn't let go of his hand; it was my one link of support on a night where pain was going to shadow my every thought. I trusted Jacob implicitly knowing that I would have my friend's support through all of this, but the one thing I didn't believe was his certainty that everything would be fine. I had lost something special tonight and had no way of knowing if I would ever get it back. No amount of care and assistance from my friends was going to make that right.

"Bella, you need to wake up. I need to talk to you," Through the haze of grogginess surrounding me I could hear her lilting voice and wanted to wave it away so that I didn't have to come back to reality. Something told me that reality was not a good place for me to be right now and I clung to the blackness of sleep in the hope she would go away.

" Bella. Wake up now," Alice pulled the covers from my sleeping form and I moaned in reply. I was exhausted in every sense of the word, only having had a small amount of sleep, when it finally came to me, and my mind was overrun with negative thoughts about what today would bring.

"Alice, what time is it?"

"It's 7 o 'clock but we need to get going because Jasper has a plane to catch and we can't be late."

"What are you talking about? How did you get in here anyway," I searched the floor beside me to find that there was no evidence that Jacob had slept in the floor beside me last night. Where was he?

"I text Jacob and he came down to let me in. You need to get up and showered now." she was looking around the room as if searching for something. Her eyes fell on the two suitcases I had packed a couple of days before in readiness for me heading back to Seattle today. I tried not to think why I had bothered to do it so early because I didn't want to think about Edward and what I had previously thought would be time spent with him after the wedding.

"Thank goodness. You are already packed. That will save time." Alice was musing to herself and I hadn't moved an inch from my place in bed.

"What is going on Alice?"

"Oh yeh. I forgot I haven't told you what's going on. Sorry." Alice looked at me sheepishly. "Jasper has to get to Seattle for his flight back to San Francisco at one. The others will be waiting for him there so that is why I need you to move that butt of yours into gear."

"I don't really see how Jasper's flight has anything to do with me Alice."

"It does, because he is not willing to leave me in Seattle with you unless he has dropped us off personally to ensure everything is as it should be. He is a bit nervous about this whole deal but I managed to talk him into believing it would be alright."

Alice had started pulling me out of the bed and I reluctantly allowed her to, even as my mind was buzzing with confusion.

"You've completely lost me Alice. Please tell me exactly what you have planned for today."

"Well I am staying with you for a few days while the guys finish their concerts in San Francisco and then Jasper is coming back to pick me up before we head east. So what I have planned for today is to take you back home to your apartment, drop my very considerate partner to the airport for his flight and then spend the next few days shopping and doing girly things with my good friend Bella. Does that sound alright to you?"

I gasped. "Alice you don't have to do that. I will be fine. I promise. I have work to keep my mind off things and ….."

"Too late, it is already done. I have cancelled my flight and everything so it looks like you are stuck with my company. Now get up and go and have that shower."

I headed for the shower and then thought about Jacob.

"What happened to Jacob?"

"He headed home to grab some things. He's coming with us too," Alice stated as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"What? Why on earth would he be doing that? He has his own life here to be dealing with, not babysitting me."

"Well it was kind of Jasper's condition on leaving me here with you. He wants as much protection around me as he can get and doesn't believe you should be living in an apartment on your own considering the very distant threat of James for you." Alice emphasized the 'very distant' part of her sentence.

"But….."

Alice overrode the arguments I was about to make.

"Look Bella. Do you really want to be alone in your apartment now that Angela and Ben are off on their honeymoon and Angela will be returning to her new home with Ben, rather than to you? Over the next few days we are going to have to sort out the need for someone else to share with you but for now you've got myself and Jacob."

I was overcome with emotion as I looked at the very sincere expression on Alice's face. Jacob and Alice were doing this for me and it became clear to me that this is what I needed. I was dreading being alone in that apartment before Edward had even dropped his bombshell on me but now the very thought of going home alone was way too much to bear. I swept over to Alice and hugged her fiercely.

"Thank you Alice. Having you and Jacob there will make it so much easier. I don't know what I did to have such wonderful friends in my life,"

"What you did was be yourself," Alice hugged me back just as fiercely and then moved so that we were looking at one another seriously. "Bella. We want what's best for you and since my brother has become confused about what that is, it is up to your friends to make sure you get it. Everything will work out soon. I can feel it."

I nodded, feeling the wetness lubricating my eyes for yet another time in the past hours. Was I ever going to stop the tears from coming unannounced. Alice wiped the tears from under my eyes and gave me a squeeze on my shoulders.

"Ok, no time for that now, we have a mission to accomplish," Alice was pushing me towards the shower "and it starts now."

Friends: who could do without them?

* * *

Living with Alice was like living with a permanent whirlwind. Her energy and conviction that I needed to have every moment of the day filled to keep my mind off her brother resulted in me constantly being in a state of exhaustion. Between her, and me returning to work, I was on the go all the time with little time to concentrate in the hurt that was always gnawing away at my sub conscious. Edward did not contact me once and although it pained me, it wasn't unexpected. Edward was trying to do what he thought was best.

Jacob watched, with amusement, Alice's attempts to maneuver me into situations where I didn't get to think too much about anything but having a good time. On a number of occasions he joined us on one of our outings, but mostly he was just there if we needed anything or was out with some friends from La Push who were now living in Seattle. Jacob was there without being intrusive at all and I came to love him more as my friend than I ever had; if that was possible. We had come out of this with a healthy respect for our feelings towards one another. Even though I was getting closer to him now than I had allowed myself over the past few years, it was a comfortable closeness that had nothing to do with romance and everything to do with friendship. We had managed to close a chapter of our lives and move on with a different one completely. Amongst everything else that was happening to make me feel unhappy, that was one good spark of sunshine and light that I felt. I was getting my proper Jacob back.

Nights were my blackest moments because I had too much time to consider what was really going on in my life. Alice had been a brilliant breath of fresh air to keep me going but it would not last and when she left I knew it was going to be hard to keep the ill feelings away. Jacob too had his own life to return to and then I would be in a place I dreaded – alone, with too much time on my hands to hold the pain at bay. I only allowed myself to cry at nights when I was sure the others would not be aware of it. They had been too good to me to make them uncomfortable with my own needs. Crying was for me only now.

Jaspers arrival was the beginning of the end for me. His heart felt greeting for Alice was hard to watch and made me feel especially guilty for separating the two of them for my own purposes. Jasper had plenty of news to convey to us but never once touched on the subject of Edward during his conversations. I wanted him to tell me that Edward was doing fine and I also wanted him to tell me that he wasn't. Edward had completely torn me into two frames of mind. I wanted him to be ok because I loved him and couldn't bear the thought that he, too, was hurting but then I couldn't bring myself to want him to be happy when I wasn't there to be happy with him. It was a ridiculous situation.

Talk came around to the fact that I shouldn't be living on my own once Alice, and eventually Jacob, had left. Jasper was in his protection mode and was trying to figure out ways we could get me an appropriate flatmate for security purposes. I had never considered the need to do this but I had to admit now I was feeling differently. I was a little nervous about the prospect of living alone, particularly knowing that even though Edward had taken the most drastic precautions to keep James from knowing about me, there was still the possibility of him lurking.

"Advertising doesn't seem to be the safest way to go at this stage," Jasper's brows were creased in concentration as he thought aloud.

"What about someone you know." Jacob asked thoughtfully and I turned to him in question but before I could say anything Jasper had spoken harshly.

"If you are considering yourself I don't think that is such a good idea," Jasper's retort was overly quick and I cringed at the underlying assumption.

Jacob looked at him in surprise and then he began to scowl at Jasper, clearly upset with what he had just said. I put my hand on his arm to make him calm down. I knew Jacob's temper for what it was. Before Jacob could open his mouth to retort Jasper was apologizing.

"I am sorry Jacob. That was out of line. It came out the wrong way. Just knowing your history together and what Bella is going through, it might be the ….wrong…. choice to make; you living here on a permanent basis. I didn't mean to insult you."

Jacob took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I knew he was trying hard to control his temper and restrain from lashing out at Jasper.

"Actually I was thinking about someone else. Seth Clearwater to be exact."

I knew and loved Seth as a younger brother. "Why would he want to move in with me," I asked uncertainly.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "He might not want to but we won't know unless we ask. He is always whinging about his cramped quarters at uni; maybe he would jump at the chance to live in an apartment instead?"

"Is he a decent person," Jasper questioned intently. "Would he protect Bella if it came down to it?"

"You know what. I am getting fucking sick of you suggesting that I wouldn't be considering Bella with everything I do. Of course he is a decent person and he has been both our friends for years. Plus his mother is seeing Bella's father so they are practically family." I looked at him startled with that reminder but Jasper was speaking again so I tried to concentrate in that.

"OK, ok. I wasn't suggesting anything. I would just feel better knowing what the person was like, that's all."

"He is one of the best people I know, Jasper," I spoke with enthusiasm in my voice. "If he is willing to move in here then I would be more than happy." I wasn't lying. Seth Clearwater had one of the nicest personalities of anyone I knew. He was also built large and would offer me protection if it came down to it, which I hoped it wouldn't. "But I will only agree if he is aware of the threat. I don't want him stepping in on this without any idea, and then something big happening."

We all agreed on it and began talking about other things. Before long it was time for Jasper and Alice to leave and the ache in my heart returned tenfold.

"I am going to miss you Alice. I can never thank you enough for the past few days."

"Ditto Bella. We will be seeing you soon and I promise I will keep in touch. Nothing will stop that, ok."

"Sure," Alice had known my greatest fear without me even voicing it. Now that she would be away from me and Edward was obviously not in the picture anymore would she still remain my friend; would he stop our friendship from continuing? I believed Alice when she said that wouldn't happen.

Jasper leant in to hug me gently and they were about to walk out when he abruptly turned to me with an agonized look on his face.

"I know it does not feel like it Bella but Edward really does love you and this is killing him. I hope you know that. I hope you know that if he thought there was any other way to keep you safe he would have taken it in a heartbeat."

His words had caused me to gasp involuntarily and I clung to the door handle to make sure he didn't realize how much his words had cut through the wall I had carefully placed around my shattered self to keep me going. Alice looked upset for me and I tried to manipulate my lips into a half smile so I didn't cry as they were leaving.

"It doesn't make it any easier Jasper. Not at all," I whispered, not looking at him because I didn't want to see the sympathy on his face.

"I'm sure it doesn't but you still should know." and with those words he left me and I closed the door on two more special people in my life. It was heart wrenching.


	31. Chapter 31: Implosion

Chapter 31

EPOV- Implosion

"You look a wreck," Rosalie's observation was blunt.

"Thanks," I muttered back at her.

"Where have you been all night?" I looked up at her face that held curiosity but nothing much else. It was in direct contrast to the murderous glances I was getting from Emmett who was standing a distance away from us as if he couldn't even bear to be in my proximity.

"Around," I wasn't about to go into my whereabouts with Rosalie. I didn't want to think about the pain of walking away from Bella and then trying so desperately to stop myself for heading straight back to her and apologizing so that we could get back on track. That was the easy option and it wouldn't do her any good. So I had driven here to Seattle and had holed myself up in a hotel room with a bottle of bourbon and tried to drown the sorrow instead. Mature behavior, I knew, and something I was not proud of. Rosalie definitely did not need to know.

The airport was busy and I searched the gathered bodies, outside our private room, for some sign of my sister and Jasper. They should have been here by now. "Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"Coming. Alice is dealing with the mess you left behind."

There was nothing I could say to her accusation, so I let it go. "Is Emmett going to give me the silent treatment all the way home?"

Rosalie sighed and looked at her husband in confusion. "I think it might last longer than that Edward. He is really pissed off with you. I am not sure that I understand the full extent of it. God I know we all think you are stupid for what you have done…."

"Gee thanks."

" but it goes beyond that. He is taking this ridiculously personally. If I didn't know better I would think….."

"Hi," Alice chose that moment to bound into the terminal and into our conversation. "Sorry we are late. Have you told Edward what is going on?" This question was directed towards Rosalie who shook her head no.

Alice proceeded to tell me that she wasn't coming back with us; that we could do without her for a little while so that she could help Bella. She was staying in Seattle with Bella and Jacob.

"Excuse me?" I was indignant and more than a little annoyed that they had thought of Bella's needs more than I had. Of course she wouldn't want to be alone in the apartment after everything that had happened. I felt like more of a heel than I had previously.

"Are you alright with this?" I asked Jasper and he shrugged his shoulders lightly. The strained look on his face told me he wasn't but he would do it for Alice. He would be hating that she wasn't in his direct protection and I was a little surprised to know that he was letting go so easily. I had let Bella go to keep her safe and they had turned around and pulled her closer to themselves. Were they putting both Alice and Bella in danger by doing so?

"Bella needs her and I have organised 24 hour protection on top of what Bella already has. I also made sure Jacob Black will be staying with them." Jasper still looked unsure of himself but I wasn't listening any longer. Jacob Black would have access to Bella in a way that I would no longer have. The knife twisted and turned in my gut. Last night I had told him to do exactly that, but the thought of it now made me wince in revulsion. How could I have ever contemplated pushing someone else towards her when it was so against what I actually wanted. I would have to grin and deal with it now. It was too late to go back.

Alice was speaking and it wasn't kindly. "You did this Edward. This was your choice and now we all have to try and make things better for Bella. She is our friend too. I am not going to sit by and let her deal with this without some kind of support. Jacob and I will give it to her."

"But James…"

"James will be waiting right where we left him, Edward. In San Francisco, hoping for another opportunity to make you writhe in frustration when he pulls some appalling trick. He would assume we are heading back because we have concerts over the next few days." Rosalie interjected. They had obviously all spoken about this plan at great length without me. There was nothing more for me to say so I moodily turned my back on Jasper and Alice's goodbye kisses and headed towards the boarding gate.

Once we had boarded the plane and Jasper had taken his place in the seat next to me I turned to him.

"I can't believe you let her stay like that. Surely you…"

Jasper rounded on me in a way I had never experienced before. "Do. Not, Fucking, Dare. Edward. It is because of you that this had to be done. It is because of you that I had to let Alice do what she thinks is best, even though I don't like it. It is because of you that Bella is hurting in a way she should not be feeling. Do not dare to lecture me." Jasper's face was red from hissing at me in fury while trying to make it appear that all was well for the people around us. "and let me tell you something else Cullen. If anything happens to your sister because of me having to leave her, there will be nowhere you can hide. What James is doing to you right now will be fucking nothing in comparison."

I watched in morbid curiosity as he made the threat. Jasper was usually so calm and collected except that one time when James had been threatening Alice. I had never witnessed such a passion fueled speech from him before and it was disconcerting; not least because it meant he was worried, really worried and there was nothing either of us could do to make that right. He busied himself with the leaflets in the pockets of our seats and that was a sure sign that he didn't want to continue conversing with me at all. I left him alone; it was more than apparent that I was trying his patience and I had to admit he was right. If something happened to Alice, I would have no one to blame but myself.

Jasper apologized for his loss of temper, as I knew he would, but that didn't make what he said any less real. The following days were hard with the combination of hurting over Bella, worrying about my sister, ignoring a very angry Emmett who was continually griping at me and enduring a sullen Rosalie who didn't know what her husband's problem was. San Francisco brought no joy to any of us and it was almost with relief that we got on the plane to head further east, even though I knew it would take me further from Bella than I was willing to be.

Jasper headed to Seattle to pick up Alice and he was biting at the bit to get to her. I wished I had the same option. They had spoken every day and night so I knew that Bella was doing ok at the moment. Alice had been doing her best to keep her busy so that she wouldn't feel the pain too acutely. Her words, not mine. I wondered how she would fare once Alice had left. Would she turn to Jacob for comfort? That seemed so wrong. Would I ever be able to make this right?

There had been no sign of James at all, in the last few days, in San Francisco and it had made me worry that he had found out Alice and Bella were in Seattle and that they would be the best way of getting at me now. Nothing had happened though. James was leaving us all alone. I couldn't help thinking that it was the calm before the storm.

Alice meeting up with us in Boston lifted everyone's spirits a little but didn't manage to quell the underlying tension between everyone. We worked as we always had and we entertained the way we were meant to but there was something missing for everyone and I realized it was our closeness. We had been pulled apart by circumstances and it was driving a huge wedge between all of us like nothing else ever had.

Things came to a head two weeks after my fateful revelation to Bella that we could not be together anymore. Rehearsals were becoming a huge chore with everyone biting everyone elses heads off, but it was Emmett who was my greatest concern. Every opportunity he had he would unleash his anger at me, telling me how incompetent I was with every little mistake I made. Generally he would not speak to me at all; he had made an art form of ignoring me as if I was nothing in his life. It was grating and I wasn't the only person it was affecting. Rosalie was beside herself with worry about why he was behaving in such a manner. I had to do something to fix it before the two of them were heading towards the divorce courts on my account.

"Jesus Emmett. It's not like I meant to do it. I make mistakes." This was in response to him throwing his drum sticks across the floor in frustration after I missed some notes and we had had to start again.

"Too many to mention," Emmett growled and I knew we weren't just talking about the music anymore.

"If you have something to say why don't you just say it rather than getting around with your head stuck up your ass."

Emmett was away from behind the drum kit before I had even finished my sentence. "Ok. Let's talk about your selfishness, shall we. Let's talk about the fact that everything has to be about you and what you fucking want."

I tried to keep my cool, even as he was placing himself inches from my body and his face was erupting in some sort of orgy of emotion. Rosalie tried to step between us but Jasper held her back and shook his head.

"You think that you know it all, but you know shit. You had the best thing ever going with Bella and you just let her go. You had the opportunity to be happy with someone that meant something to you and you threw it away."

"I had to Emmett. She would have been in danger." I tried to keep the pleading from coming out in my voice but it was there anyway.

Emmett swore at me. "And it is alright to make her safe but when it comes to your sister; when it comes to MY WIFE, it is ok for them to live with the danger. Shall Jasper and I just up and leave them to KEEP THEM FUCKING SAFE. You hypocritical prat. We are living with this too, not just you. You've taken the coward's way out and none of us here has that option. You make me sick Edward. Bella is still in danger; it's just now she has no support to help her through the worry of it; all she has is the pain of knowing you left her and the only person to blame for that is YOU. So if anyone here needs to get their head out of their ass, it is you."

Emmett had been poking me with his finger with each harsh word he threw at me. The anger was gnawing away at me. All the pent up emotions of not being with Bella, the understanding that what he was saying was actually true, everything came boiling up and I shoved him away from me so that he was sprawled across the floor. He was instantly back on his feet and I could tell that something inside of him had snapped. He came at me like a bull and slammed against my body in one powerful lunge. I felt the breath leave my body in a powerful whoosh and felt my legs collapse underneath me so that Emmett and I were now wrestling on the floor of the stage. Anger and sorrow spurned us both on and before too long we were throwing punches at each other's heads and faces. I vaguely heard Alice imploring us to stop and Rose's furious voice telling us enough was enough but all I could think about was the purging of anger and fear that took place each time my fist connected with something, with anything. A surge of satisfaction made its way through my body. I wanted to do this to one person and one person only; James and with that understanding the satisfaction left me instantaneously and I realized it was Emmett I was punching, not the man who was causing me so much pain. My attempts became less furious and finally Jasper was able to separate the two of us, pushing us away from one another in the hope we wouldn't go in for another round. Both of us were breathless and I noted that there were a number of red marks on Emmett's face caused from my fists. No doubt my face would be looking very much the same.

"What the hell." Rosalie screeched at us and tried to take a closer look at the marks littering Emmett's face. Emmett ignored her.

"She deserves better than you anyway, Edward. You can't fight for shit."

I was dumbstruck. How had we got to this place? "Why do you care so much about Bella?" The words were out and I wished I could take them back. I knew Rosalie was concerned about this very thing and I didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

"Because you screwed her over and she didn't deserve that. She is a good person who should be happy in life, not made to go through this fucking pain." Emmett hissed at me. I fully agreed with him but I still didn't understand his over the top fury.

Rosalie held his face and forced him to look at her, softly asking for an answer. "But why?"

He couldn't resist the pleading look in her eyes to understand and he came undone. "Because…because she reminds me of Sophie. She makes me think of what my little sister would have been like if she had lived long enough to reach adulthood." As he stuttered out the words we were all silent and the light of recognition covered Rosalie's face. She pulled him in to a hug and we all turned away to give them this private moment. It made sense now. Emmett always appeared to be the strong one of the lot of us and life to him was generally a joy but he had known pain. It was something he made us forget too often. Emmett had been close to Sophie and when she had passed away from cancer at seventeen, it had hit him like a ton of rocks. If she had lived she would have been the same age as Bella and looking back I realized he was right. There was a lot about Bella that was very similar. When Emmett looked at Bella he saw his sister and that was where his protectiveness was coming from. He hated that I was hurting someone that he cared so strongly about.

"I am sorry Emmett,"

"Leave it Edward. I don't want to hear your excuses. I just want you to make this right again. I am sick of the people I love being hurt. I am sick of worrying about my wife. When you can fix this, come back to me." He left the room completely embarrassed by our fight and his disclosure. Rose was close on his heel.

How was I meant to fix this?

* * *

Things calmed down a little bit after our fight but I couldn't say things were good. Emmett was still not talking to me but things were definitely better between him and Rosalie so that was a plus. I didn't push to make amends with him because I was still smarting from all his accusations and the fact that many of them were true. I was a coward and I had been a hypocrite allowing my family to deal with danger that I wasn't willing to deal with myself. He told me to come back when I fixed it but I really had no idea how to do that.

Jasper had got over his anger with me and I thought he was even feeling some sympathy for the predicament I had put myself in. Now that he had Alice back beside him he felt more ready to forgive me for what had happened to cause her to be away. I was glad for it, because Jasper had always been the calm one amongst us and I valued his steadiness and sound advice when I needed it. He did not try and get me to contact Bella even though I knew he wanted me to. If I wanted to talk to him about my feelings he was always there and we were slowly getting back to that place where we had been before I had disappointed everyone. I was, however, more than aware that he was struggling with the constant negative emotions of the people around him; Jasper felt things more than any of us and he must be feeling like he was drowning in all our angst right at this moment.

Alice's anger hadn't eased but she was more restrained in acknowledging it to the world. I knew my sister though and I knew that she was smarting over the betrayal she felt I had laid on Bella. She was overt in rubbing my nose in it, making sure that I did not forget about Bella in any way. It was torturous but well earned. Every day, without actually saying it, Alice made sure I knew I had made a huge mistake. As if I needed her to tell me that.

Bella was constantly in my thoughts but I never acted on any of them. I was not willing to make things more difficult for her by contacting her, even though it was always uppermost in my mind. Any information I got about Bella was through Alice and Rosalie who had both ensured constant communication with her. I knew that she had a new flat mate named Seth and it was apparently going well. Jacob had left to head back to La Push and Bella was keeping herself busy taking extra shifts at work. Nothing they said indicated that Bella even asked after me but I couldn't be upset about that. Why would she want to know about me when I had left her high and dry; when I had put my own concerns before her needs? I didn't deserve her consideration at all.

Sleep no longer came to me easily and I knew I was affected by the lack of proper rest. As soon as I tried to sleep Bella's image was in front of me and I would begin to have the most amazing dream.

_We were in the meadow and my arms were wrapped around Bella's waist so that she was pulled close to me. Her mere presence makes me feel like nothing in the world can hurt me; it is just her and I and it is perfect. She whispers 'I love you' into my ear in the most caring voice imaginable and it causes shivers down my spine. I can feel her sweet breath against my face as she moves to look into my eyes and I am instantly lost in hers. Everything about her is light and warmth and beauty. I can barely get the words out to tell her that I love her too; so very much. I am feeling too strongly and it is choking me up. I need to feel her lips so I gently place my finger under her chin and raise her head slightly so that I can reach them more easily. She looks at me with so much trust as I bend my head to caress her lips with mine and the sensation is so sweet and so tender that words can't explain it. We get caught up in the experience of kissing so that nothing else in the world matters. Softness, small nips, drawn out breath, moisture as our mouths meld together, gentle sucking, lines of fire from tracing tongues – it is all in that kiss and it is the epitome of bliss. Nothing compares to the emotions the kiss stirs up inside me. I never want it to end._

If that was the extent of my dream I would gladly seek the haven of sleep on a permanent basis but it never ends there; it never allows me the gentleness of all that is Bella and it becomes a nightmare to the extreme. A nightmare that reflects all my concerns from our real life;

_Bella is suddenly ripped from my arms and my heart jumps in panic as I hear her scream in pain and fright. I look up, startled, to find James holding her way too close to his body, an arm around her arms and torso as if he could break her at any moment. Her eyes are wide with fear and they are looking directly at me, pleading for help. I am stuck, frozen, knowing that any move made by me will have an answering one made by James and he was a loose cannon with a knife against her neck. I try to plead with him but I can't speak; he laughs wildly at me. "An eye for an eye" he states and then he pushes the knife against her neck and there is blood everywhere. I watch as the life leaves Bella's eyes slowly and I scream an animalistic cry of pain…….._

I always wake up at that point to find myself in a bed of twisted sheets and sweat pouring off me. The after effects of the dream stay with me for way too long and it is an agony I don't wish to endure again. Sleep is not a pleasant place for me and I do not readily choose it.

Even in my dreams, Bella being with me offers no protection and it hurt like crazy.

I hoped her hurt was nothing in comparison.


	32. Chapter 32: Intervention

Chapter 32

BPOV – Intervention

Nerves tingled all through my body, making me alert to the concerns I had, that went beyond the mild uncomfortableness of flying. Beside me, an excited Seth sat and when I looked across the aisle Angela and Ben were sitting as if they didn't have a care in the world. Next to them, Jacob was asleep. I sighed. None of them were feeling the same sick feeling I was at the prospect of what lay ahead; none of them worried about how this whole outing was going to pan out. I did not know what had made me come at all. I countered myself; I did know. It was Alice and I could not resist her entreaty for us all to be there. She had been there for me when I needed it and now I was going to return the favour, although I wasn't entirely sure how I could help. I thought back to the phonecall from three nights prior and frowned in consternation.

"_I need your help Bella. I know I have no right to ask this of you but I don't know what else to do. My family is imploding; Emmett is getting around like the world has ended and he and Edward hardly ever talk anymore, at least not civilly anyway. Rosalie is furious with Edward for making Emmett so angry and poor Jasper can't handle the negative feelings that are constantly around us. We're losing it and I don't know how to fix it,"_

"_Hold on, Alice. Why are Edward and Emmett fighting? And how on earth do you think I can help you when I am in Seattle and you're in New York? Why are there so many negative emotions?" I was totally confused. I understood that maybe, just maybe Edward would be a little upset about what had happened between the two of us but I was beginning to even doubt that, given he hadn't tried to contact me at all; but why was everyone else experiencing difficulties?_

_Alice had retold the fight between Edward and Emmett and the reasons behind Emmett being so upset with him. She explained that Edward was a wreck; not sleeping and hardly looking after himself unless he needed to be somewhere for the band. She believed he was functioning on auto pilot and that maybe everyone's disappointment in him had led to him turning off completely so he didn't need to cope with it. She had sounded guilty as she spoke to me about that. I could not believe that I could be so involved in their lives when they were on the other side of the country and I had no direct interaction with them at all. How had I caused so much grief between people I cared about so strongly, yet hadn't seen in weeks?_

"_We need you, Bella. Everyone needs to see that you are ok," she stressed the word everyone. "Everyone misses you. It would be good for everyone if you came."_

_I had mulled over her words but they were racing around in my mind with nowhere to go. "Came where?" There was nothing false about my confusion._

"_Came here, to New York, for my birthday. I am having a party and I want you there. I will also be inviting Angela and Ben. Seth and Jacob can come too if that makes it easier for you but please just say you will come," she was pleading now and I could imagine the look of sadness playing across her features as she spoke._

"_I don't think that is such a good idea Alice. Edward has made it quite clear that he doesn't want me in his life and here you are asking me to be right in the middle of it."_

"_Edward has no idea what he wants. He needs you, even if it is only as his friend and the sooner he realizes that the better for all of us,"_

_If he needed me so much, why hadn't I heard a single word from him? Why was he willing to let me go so easily? I was beginning to see that Jacob had been right that very first night of hurt and pain; Edward should have fought harder for what we had._

"_Alice I can't just drop everything and come to New York. I can't afford it for a start and…"_

_Alice interrupted me before I could give her anymore reasons for saying no._

"_That's not a problem; I'll buy all of your tickets."_

"_No way. I would never expect you to pay for airline tickets for me and my friends Alice, never."_

"_They're our friends Bella, which is why I want them here to celebrate with me. Think of it as your birthday present to me. I can more than afford it. I want you here. I want you to help me sort this mess out that is my family. Us all being together having a good time will have to make things better. It just has too." Her voice trembled with the last words and I so wanted to help her; give her back just a little bit of what she had given me when Edward had left but still……_

"_Alice, I really don't know that I can. It will be so…… it will be so incredibly hard to see him. I am only just managing being away from him. I am afraid it will be my undoing if I actually came face to face with him. There's too much anger and sadness; there is too much love." I whispered the last bit regretfully and Alice made her own sighs on the other end of the phone._

"_Oh Bella. I am sorry. I really shouldn't have asked. I was hoping we could set things right again. I was being incredibly selfish trying to make things better at this end when you are dealing with your own problems yourself. I really miss you and I miss what we had gained when you were around. It won't be as much fun without you there to share my birthday with."_

_The sincerity in Alice's voice got to me and before I had thought it through properly I had agreed to go with a number of conditions. One being that Edward had to be aware that I was coming; there was to be no surprise for him about me suddenly turning up at her birthday party. The other was that I would pay for my own ticket. Alice was instantly onto that one so the condition was scrapped. We were her guests and she would ensure we weren't out of pocket. We met half way by her promising that we would be traveling in economy, not first class as she would have had us do if left to her own devices._

Now here I sat wondering how on earth I had managed to get myself into this awkward situation. There would be no doubt that I would have to see and talk to Edward. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to do this. I had spent the last few weeks fluctuating between intense anger and debilitating sorrow. Some days it was all I could do just to get up and function in my own life. I tried not to think of Edward but it was beyond my capabilities. Maybe seeing him again would put the demons to rest and I could get on with my life in a better frame of mind, but somehow I didn't think so.

Seth and Angela swapping seats brought me out of my contemplation and I pressed myself to show some enthusiasm about this trip. Everyone else was so excited about going to New York and rubbing shoulders with well known people; I didn't want to dampen their spirits.

"Are you going to be ok with this Bella?" Angela questioned quietly; not for the first time.

"Of course. We're all adults and it's Alice I am doing this for. It will be fine." I hoped that I wasn't blatantly lying.

Angela looked at me with sympathy. Ever since she had been back from the honeymoon to Thailand, which the Cullen's had given her and Ben for their wedding present, Angela had been concerned that she had been away when I needed her most. My denials had fallen on deaf ears. Convincing her that I had been supported enough during this stressful time was a job within itself.

"I'm sorry Bella. If I had have known I would have…."

"You would have what Angela? Forgone a fantastic honeymoon on a private island, in the middle of paradise, so that you could have stayed home and looked after your pathetic friend. There would be no way I would have let that happen. The Cullens letting you use their hideaway for your honeymoon was beyond nice; you couldn't have let that go. Besides this time is all about you and Ben and the happiness of being newly weds. I can deal with my own problems. You're here for me now anyway. Don't let it worry you."

Angela frowned at me and I could tell she was going to argue more about this and I really couldn't deal with that so I changed the subject. "Speaking of honeymoons I want to hear all about it while I have you alone. We haven't had a chance. What was the island like….?"

At first not sure if she should be talking about this with me, Angela seemed a little reluctant to speak but once she warmed up and saw that I was genuinely interested in her time away she relaxed and we spoke about things of a much happier nature. It helped the flight go by, without the nerves overtaking me anymore than they needed to.

It was Carlisle who picked us up from the airport, having had arrived on an earlier flight. Alice had thought it would give us a greater sense of anonymity if he did so, rather than one of them. He drove us through a myriad of busy streets until we got to an attractive building where everyone was oohing and ahhing over its majestic appearance.

"This doesn't look so much like a hotel," I was directing the question to no one in particular but it was Carlisle who answered.

"Oh, this isn't a hotel. This is Edward's place. Didn't Alice tell you that you'd be staying here with us?"

Seth whistled and Jacob punched him on the arm lightly. I stood transfixed. No, Alice had neglected to tell me that we would be staying in anything but a hotel. I bit my lip in agitation. I had had no idea that Edward even owned property in New York and this new bit of information had thrown me. I wasn't sure that I was ready to see Edward in the confines of his own home. It seemed so personal. God, I was becoming more and more convinced that this had been a bad idea. Angela stepped forward as soon as we got out of the car and placed her arm through mine in a show of support. As we walked towards the lift that would take us to Edward's place the butterflies in my stomach had begun to move past the fluttering point and were now cart wheeling in a frantic motion that matched the beating of my heart. I was going to be sick.

"Bella, we are all right here, next to you. It will be fine," Angela spoke in her most confident manner but I could see her eyes and they showed worry.

Upon entering the top floor apartment I saw that Edward had impeccable taste and I was sure that if circumstances had been different I would have been enjoying exploring his home and working out what made him tick. As it was I wasn't in the mood to take in all of my surroundings completely, and only vaguely noted that the apartment was absolutely huge. How could one person live in such a grand place and not feel lonely?

My thoughts weren't quite complete when I was barreled down by an overly enthusiastic Alice who was clasping her arms around my shoulders in a death hug.

"Oh thank goodness you actually came. Thank you, Bella. You have made my birthday before it has even begun." Alice righted herself and took her arms away from me after I had returned her hug so that she could greet everyone else warmly. Even Seth was treated as something special, though she had never actually met him and I saw that it relaxed him immediately.

Rosalie and Emmett came up behind Alice.

"Welcome to New York guys," Rosalie greeted us with a smile on her face. I answered her greeting with my own but my attention was almost immediately on Emmett. He looked like the same old Emmett but something was missing and it hurt me to realize that it was his joy about life. Normally I would have been swept up in a huge bear hug, that would leave me breathless, by now, but instead he was standing there as if he wasn't sure what he should do.

"Don't I get my regular hello," I held out my arms and it was like a light had suddenly turned on for him when a smile cracked open the fearful mask he had been wearing and he gathered me into his burly arms to give me the tightest hug he had ever laid on me.

I laughed. "It's good to see you too Emmett. Now if I could just breath."

"Breathing is over rated," Emmett stated in an amused voice but he let me go anyway and made sure that he welcomed the others in a less emotional manner. Rosalie mouthed thank you to me behind his back as he began to show his more at ease self. I smiled to myself. If that was all I had to do this weekend, it was more than easy and more than enough. I loved Emmett and didn't want to see him worrying about my reaction to him.

Jasper and Esme came out of the kitchen and they seemed just as pleased to see us. I relaxed into the idea that this family were happy to see us; they were pleased that we were here and they had shown nothing but warmth since we had walked through the door. I wasn't going to do anything this weekend to cause them anymore heartache. These thoughts led to Edward. Where was he?

As if she could read my mind, Alice spoke to us all and let us know that Edward was busy for the afternoon and evening. He would join us tomorrow. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of busy he was and if it involved another girl. Maybe he was trying to evade being around me. That would make sense. I was momentarily relieved that I would not have to deal with him for a while longer and then the hurt hit me like a ton of bricks. He couldn't even bring himself to see me.

Alice and Jasper showed us to our rooms. Alice explained that there were six rooms in the apartment and that Seth and Jacob would be sharing a room, as would Angela and Ben. She happily directed Emmett and Jasper to stowing everyone's bags into the appropriate rooms and they were encouraged to relax before dinner. That left me and Alice alone, with Jasper ahead of us placing my bags behind a door we hadn't ventured behind yet.

When we entered the room my eyes fled to Alice's in panic. There was no way I could stay in here. I had no right. Everything about the room screamed out Edward and I knew beyond a doubt that it was his. I felt a nervous lump rise in my throat as I looked at his large bed and began to think about how things could have been so different. I shook my head. They weren't different and there was no way I was sleeping in here. No way.

"Now I know what you are going to say Bella but Edward wants this. He said that he will sleep on the couch while you are here and you have full reign of his bedroom. He apologises that there wasn't another room for you but as you can see they're all filled up," Alice looked serene. She thought this was completely reasonable.

"I haven't come here to make life difficult for Edward Alice. He doesn't need to be thrown out of his own room on my account. I can sleep on the couch and he can have his own room."

"As if he would even contemplate that, Bella. Edward might be stupid about some things but he is a gentleman through and through. If he says he will sleep on the couch that is what he will do and he will do it happily." I was about to argue with her again but her next words distracted me. "Besides, he won't be home tonight anyway."

My face must have shown some sort of chagrin because Alice starting speaking to quell my fears. "Edward had a charity event on tonight. It has nothing to do with you, although I am sure he is nervous about seeing you after what he did. And it has nothing to do with another woman either." She lifted her eyebrow up archly as she registered my shock. Of course Alice would realize I would make that assumption when she said he wasn't coming home for the whole night. "Being with someone else is so far off his radar, Bella, that it is not funny."

I nodded weakly but didn't want to acknowledge what she was trying to tell me. It would hurt like hell to have any kind of hope dashed and nothing had changed really. The fact that he had allowed Alice to talk me into coming anywhere near him was a small miracle. He would be reading danger into this whole weekend.

The afternoon and evening passed in easy banter between us all. Edward's absence meant that everyone felt relaxed and catching up had no negative connotations at all. I was more than pleased that Emmett was back to his normal teasing self with me and with the others. Rosalie looked happier than I had ever seen her. Normally she put out the ice princess routine but for once she was completely taken with her husbands good mood and her biting retorts were kept to a minimum. Esme and Carlisle were their normal patient and loving selves who smiled at their children's comings and goings and who made everyone around them feel that they were something special. Alice sat languidly in Jasper's lap and he seemed so completely relaxed, that it was hard for me to reconcile him to the person Alice had been describing when she had asked for my help. The good feeling in the room was obviously benefiting him too.

When it was time to say goodnight and retire to our rooms I did so with a small sense of dread. I didn't want to be surrounded by everything that was Edward once I was alone in his room. It would only emphasize the hurt and the longing and I wasn't entirely convinced that I was ready for that. I had no choice though, so I used his bathroom to get myself ready for bed without concentrating too hard on the small things that reflected his personality. The way everything had it's exact spot, the bottle of cologne he wore sitting there begging me to smell it, the CD's and books that showed what he enjoyed in life, the pile of musical score sheets that he had evidently placed into a neat pile so that I would not be surrounded by his creative mess. All of it pointed to Edward and I pretended that I was ignoring it.

Crawling between the soft, clean sheets was not as hard as I thought. This was where Edward spent his nights and it was comforting to be able to feel his presence even though he wasn't here. For the first time in weeks I found myself drifting off into a peaceful slumber, void of negative thoughts about my future, where there was no Edward. Here he was everywhere and it felt right.

Waking slowly, I was vaguely aware that there was quiet movement happening somewhere not too far from me. My eyes half opened in curiosity, rather than fear and I searched the room for whatever it was that had been moving only seconds before. My eyes rested on a person who was half crouched, picking up something from the bottom of his walk in robe.

"Edward?"

He froze in mid air and I watched his back with a sleepy detachment as he took a deep breath and then turned around. When he was completely facing me I no longer felt the detachment and had woken completely up. One of his hands was holding a pair of shoes and the other was groping his hair in agitation. He looked torturously good, even with the darkened eyes and the pained look on his face.

"Bella," He let out his breath on my name and then seemed to come to himself. "It's just me. I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be as quiet as possible. Sorry. I forgot to get these out of the room and kind of needed them this morning." He held the shoes up for me to see as if I might not believe his words. While he was speaking I pulled the covers off myself and began to get out of bed. Edward took a step back from me and I frowned before I thought about his words. It was morning and I had not woken once during the night. I had been free of any dreams. I hadn't laid awake for hours on end seeing this man's face in front of me and worrying about how I was going to get through this awful time. I had had a good night's sleep. It was startling to say the least, considering where I was.

I stretched for want of something to do while I processed that Edward was standing in front of me. Our eyes met and I could have sworn I saw a flicker of strong emotion behind his before he darted his eyes away and looked anywhere but at me.

"No need to apologise Edward. This is your room. It should be me saying sorry for putting you out,"

"Well it's your room while you're here and you're not putting me out. I promise not to invade your privacy again," Edward was backing towards the door and still not looking directly at me. When he swung on his heel I knew he was going to walk out on me again and something urged me to do anything I could to stop that from happening.

"Edward. I'm sorry,"

He wheeled around almost aggressively. "What for? I told you. You are not putting me out. I would much prefer….."

"For hitting you," Just saying those words brought up memories of that night and I could feel the weight of pain crush me again. Even so, I shouldn't have hit him the way I had.

Edward's face was showing his surprise and then self loathing. I couldn't stand seeing that look on his face.

"Bella, we both know I deserved that and more. What I did was inexcusable and the very fact that you are even speaking to me now shows that you are a better person than most." Edward's voice held a nervous edge and he seemed to be holding himself back. I took a closer look at him and noticed that he didn't look the best. Nothing about his good looks had changed; he was still the god like creature that women around the world idolized, but he was looking gaunt in the face and the appearance of dark circles under his eyes made him look vulnerable.

"You look tired," was all I could say in response to his statement. Another look of surprise played across his face, followed by a sad expression that did not match the iciness in his voice.

"Yeh, well that's what you get when you can't sleep for the demons that are waiting to torment you. Guess it's what I deserve."

This time I let him leave when he swung towards the door and then softly closed it behind him. I had no way of knowing what to say to him at this point. I wasn't ready to open up the very recent wounds of having him up and leave me the way he did without any kind of communication at all. I wasn't ready to tell him that regardless, I still loved him and wished that things were different. I wanted him but this wasn't something to be fixed in one weekend of seeing one another. He was probably right in leaving me alone in his room. We should steer clear of one another so that the pain was endurable. I took a deep breath to compose myself. I was about to embark on another day of pretending that I was not hurting, that I was happy with how my life had turned out, making sure that everyone around me was comfortable. It was what I did best.

Alice's party was the next time I saw him and he was dazzling. He had made sure that our paths did not cross for the rest of the day and Alice had kept us busy at day spas and the like to get ready for her big night, so when I finally saw him across a crowded room of revellers, my heart did a backflip of mammoth proportions. The man I had seen this morning was completely different to the man I was watching covertly now. He was playing a part and if I had not learnt to know him so well I would say he did not have a single thing in his life that was out of place. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Mingling with people I did not know was not something I enjoyed, even if half the guests were people that most would want to meet, so I tried to keep to myself as much as I could without being impolite. Jacob and Seth were enjoying rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous and were getting their fair share of attention from the girls. I smirked at the predictability of that; both my friends were extraordinarily good looking men with winning personalities. They deserved the joy of knowing it was appreciated by some.

Angela and I were in a light hearted conversation about a variety of people in the room when a man that I vaguely recognised from the movies came over to talk to us, offering to get us a drink. We shrugged our shoulders and agreed and then laughed quietly at the prospect of some famous actor getting us a drink, as he moved away to fulfil his promise. When he returned he joined in with our conversation as naturally as if we were one of his peers and I found myself relaxing in his presence. When Ben came over to take his wife onto the dancefloor I was left alone with Cam and his attention became a little unsettling, paying me compliments that had nothing to do with our current discussions and moving a bit closer to me than was needed. I scanned the room for some sort of help from Jacob, Emmett or Jasper. None of them was in my line of view. I wasn't sure what I should do in this situation. It was apparent that this guy was well known and if I was to just walk away from him I might be causing more trouble than it was worth. No doubt he wouldn't be used to rejection. I kept moving backwards slightly every time he got close but it didn't deter him.

"I think you might be a little too close to the lady for comfort, Cam. You might like to back off a bit," Edward's voice was low and smooth and besides the relief that he would be able to help me, I also felt a lick of desire from just hearing it.

A puzzled expression surfaced on Cam's face as he looked at Edward's hardened face. "Evening Edward. I am sure Bella has no aversion to my closeness, do you Bella?" He reached up to touch my face and because I saw it coming I moved my face out of reach. What I hadn't foreseen coming was that Edward's hand had grabbed Cam's in a flash so that it never followed through on it's goal. The growl came from the back of his throat and I was mesmerized with what was happening in front of me.

"I said she was uncomfortable. Don't touch her."

"What the hell Cullen," Cam hissed at him but when Edward let go of his wrist he backed off a little and threw daggers of displeasure at Edward who never broke his eye contact. "I didn't realize that you were so territorial about your fans. I was only having a bit of fun. Who said you could keep all the beauties to yourself?"

"She's not a fan and she is off limits, so back off." There was a threat behind the words and we all heard it. I should have been livid at his assumption that he could say these things about me but I couldn't bring myself to be. There was something inviting about a possessive Edward, particularly when I had never experienced it in public before.

Cam wasn't going to let it go that easily though. "..and what if Bella doesn't want me to back off?"

They both looked at me for my answer to his query. I felt the blush rise into my face and noticed that Edward swallowed nervously as he watched it happen.

"I'm sorry Cam. I enjoyed chatting to you but I am not really feeling too comfortable with any kind of closeness."

Cam looked between Edward and I, clearly bemused by what was happening. Edward continued to glare at him with a hostile expression and when Cam finally broke the stare between them he simply agreed. "Ok, I get the message. Bella here is off limits. How was I meant to know that?" and he sidled away to look for another person to speak with.

"Yes, how were any of us to know that," I muttered to myself, completely confused about what that little interaction had meant.

"Excuse me," Edward was still looking at me and I felt the blush rise yet again.

"Um nothing. I guess I should say thanks."

"Well you certainly do know how to attract the men Bella. Cam is reknown for his womanizing ways. I hope I didn't interfere with something that you wanted to happen."

"Of course not Edward, don't be ridiculous." I was speaking harshly now because of his implication that I had wanted to get close to someone that wasn't him. Was he really that clueless?

"Well maybe be more careful. Some of the people here tonight are less scrupulous than others. They're used to getting what they want and if they want you they will stop at nothing to get you,"

My mouth dropped open. "So, what you are telling me, Edward, is that it was my fault that some stranger decided, for some bizarre reason, that I might be worth getting to know 'better'. That I need to be more careful so that I don't lead anyone else to think that I want them in a carnal way."

He looked at me incredulously. "That's not what I am saying at all. I didn't mean to…. I was just trying… Oh god I have no idea what I was trying to say."

"Hmmm. You were just trying to keep me safe. Right. That is your life's goal. Keep Bella safe but never take the risk of being with her. Ensure that not a hair on my head is ever harmed but don't worry about the fact that you broke my heart and caused hurt beyond anything that James or anyone else could do. You keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, Edward but in future when you are trying to save me, don't insult me by making out that there is something going on between us; that you are a possessive boyfriend looking out for his girlfriend, because we ARE NOT THAT. You made that decision, not me."

I knew it was immature but I huffed at him and then stalked away in absolute fury. How dare he make out that I was something special one moment, while he was confronting an awkward situation, and then in the next moment insinuate that I was leading people on.

I thought he had let me go to keep up appearances but I was wrong. I had only taken a few steps away when I felt him grab my hand and pull me behind him to take me to a place that was less public. That place happened to be a huge walk in storeroom out the back of the function room we were in. I panicked looking around me to see if anyone was noticing what was happening. Edward was not thinking straight and one of us needed to be because this would really look bad to the guests who might be watching. Noone was taking too much notice so I allowed myself to resist the urge to fight Edward and stay out in the public eye, and soon we were alone. When the door shut behind us he paced away from me and then turned to face me with an earnest expression on his face.

"What do you want me to say Bella? That I was wrong for leaving you the way I did. Of course I was wrong! Do you want me to get down on my hands and knees and beg you for forgiveness. I would if I thought it would change anything but it wouldn't. Do you want me to apologise for wanting to keep you safe. I can't do that. I can not imagine a world where you are not in it so I would prefer to know that you are alive and well, even if it means you can't be with me. You mean everything to me and I can't stand being apart from you, but what else can we do? You tell me."

I stood transfixed with the passion within his monologue. His hands were now tugging at his hair and I wanted to comfort him but I didn't. He had revealed his emotions to me and now I needed to return the favour even if he didn't want to hear it.

"You could fight. You didn't even think of my wishes when you did this. You could have fought for us."

"You don't think I am fighting. I am going against every natural inclination, I have, to be with you." He moved quickly to place his hands on my shoulders and the warmth radiated off his body. I attempted to ignore it so that I was concentrating on Edward's words. "It's so hard! I am constantly in a state of confusion because I find myself picking up the phone to make a booking so that I can come to you and then I realize that I am being selfish and I should leave you alone so that you keep safe. I am fighting against my own family who, every chance they get, let me know that they want you with us. I left you so that you were safe but my family keep bringing you into harm's way by going against my wishes and exposing you to the danger of being involved with us."

"So you wish I wasn't here now?" I couldn't hide the hurt in my words.

"Oh Bella, what I want and what is best are two different things. Of course I am happy to see you but it is tinged with nervousness knowing that it could lead James to finding out about you,"

"Could, Edward, could. Isn't it worth the risk. Do you want to live your life knowing that you gave up on something we could have had together because of a maybe. I personally don't think it's worth it."

" I'm sorry…"

"I don't want your apologies Edward. I want you. I can't make it any clearer than that."

"I want you too Bella. So much," the words were nearly inaudible.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

I stared at him in defiance, waiting for what I knew would come but was hoping against hope wouldn't.

"I…. I can't…"

The tears welling in my eyes were about to fall so I turned away from him so he wouldn't see and opened the door so it was slightly ajar.

"I love you Bella,"

"and I love you too Edward but that's not the issue here, is it? "

He shook his head reluctantly.

"Well then when you get the balls to fight Edward, you come and find me. I am willing to take the risk of James finding out about me if it means we are together but it's all in your court now. You decide what is more important; being with me or letting James ruin your life. I've already decided which one I want."

And I slammed the door for effect!


	33. Chapter 33: Meet Me Halfway

**Please know that I am aware that Edward in this story can be very frustrating, with his self doubt and over the top need to protect Bella but he really isn't a bad guy – just someone who is trying to work through too many emotions and one who makes mistakes like the rest of us. Life isn't all a bed of roses so I haven't written this story like that. I can promise though, that along with the angsty times there will be some happy times for Edward and Bella ( and undoubtedly some sad times as well) Without conflict of some description there really isn't much of a story. I do apologise though for those of you who are upset by this.**

**Please let me know what you think – I am more than happy to listen to opinions and suggestions for this story. It helps me to write.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter 33

EPOV – Meet me halfway

The sound of my own feet hitting the pavement, as I jogged, did nothing to alleviate the nonstop prattle taking place in my head. Today was my last chance to make a sensible choice about how I wanted my life to be and I was spending the time trying to get as far away as possible from having to make any type of decision at all. I was running literally and metaphorically. I didn't want to be responsible for the choices I made but Bella, and the very person she was, was forcing me to look at this in a different way. I categorized the information into a list, taking into consideration memories from the past few days of having her living under my roof.

_Fact number one: Bella Swan was extraordinary. _

Everything she did went against what I expected. She told me she wanted me; that she loved me and then dealt with my rejection in the most graceful way possible. She didn't rant. She didn't make a scene. She returned to my sister's party as if nothing untoward had happened and charmed the pants off so many of the people around her. I watched in wonder as she showed interest in anyone she met, regardless of their rank in the fame world. I felt the inevitable pangs of jealousy as she interacted with men I knew would see her as a conquest and I fought against my need to step in time and time again when they appeared to get too close to the woman I loved. After my altercation with Cam it would be stupid of me to draw attention to my possessive side. Bella did more than alright in holding herself together. I wished I had her strength. We passed one another as strangers for the rest of the night, which was hard, but she did absolutely nothing to embarrass me or put me on the spot. What had happened between us was going to remain private. Bella could have had her revenge, she could have made me suffer but that wasn't her way. Bella was an incredible woman.

_Fact number two: Bella Swan was beautiful._

…and it was something that caused me to be enchanted every time. I had avoided being close to her during the time she was staying in New York because I knew she would be hard to resist and I had talked myself into the absolute need to. When I had snuck into my room to find my shoes, her presence in my bed had almost made me incapable of breathing. I had missed seeing that luminous quality that she had and even in sleep it projected from her face. I stood there for full minutes watching the rise and fall of her breathing as she hugged the pillow to herself; my pillow would now have her scent on it and somehow that made me feel reassured. Her full, sensuous lips were slightly opened and they were begging to be kissed. Her dark eyelashes rested against the porcelain perfection of her cheeks. She looked so breakable in that moment that I wanted to take her in my arms and never let her go. It wasn't much better when I first witnessed her entrance into Alice's party. I wasn't the only one who was captivated by her beauty. She appeared confident; not at all nervous as I knew she would be. To me she was the only woman in the room and yet I couldn't be with her. Bella's beauty was making it hard for me to even be in the same room as her without wanting to press myself against her and feel her perfection.

_Fact number three: Bella Swan was selfless._

From the moment I had met her I knew this to be the case but now it was even more evident, after her response to my most embarrassing moment. I had broken her heart; admittedly not lightly, but I had done it nonetheless and she still gave me what I needed when the time came – her nearness.

Exhaustion after the party resulted in another sleepless night being out of the question. I needed to rest and once I stretched out on the couch I was almost instantly asleep. Maybe for this one time I would have a dreamless sleep where Bella's contorted face of agony was not the last thing I saw before waking up. It wasn't to be and the usual dream came uninvited. I fought against what I knew was coming. I tried everything possible to wake myself up before the ending came but to no avail. Bella was pulled away from me and James had her, a knife against her neck. She reached out to me and for the first time I actually reached back and felt her hand in mine. A small part of me was elated; maybe this time I could save her but my hopes were dashed and the dream came to its inevitable conclusion.

"Edward, it's ok. I am here. Nothing is wrong,"

Confusion reigned as I pulled myself out from that dark place of nightmare. How could Bella be talking to me when she was dead? When all my concerns had come to fruitition and James had played his final hand in his revenge. It didn't make sense.

My eyes snapped open and I realized that Bella was sitting on the floor next to the couch; her face mere inches from mine and her hand tightly grasped in my own. A moment of clarity enveloped me and I realized that Bella had witnessed my moment of absolute weakness. She could feel my shaking, she could see the sweat that lined my body and she would have heard my tormented cries. I was mortified. This was something she should never have seen. I felt like a fool.

"Bella, I…." I pulled myself up into a sitting position which meant I reluctantly let go of her hand. "Nightmare. Sorry."

"Are you ok?" Bella's concern was crystal clear on her face.

"Sure. What are you doing here?"

"I was getting a drink of water and I heard you."

"Did anyone else…?" Worry edged my tone. I did not want anyone else to see me like this. I should have thought of that before I relinquished the privacy of my bedroom.

"No. Just me." she stated simply and found a spot next to me on the couch. Her thigh brushed mine and that slight touch made me feel way too much. "Does this happen a lot?"

"More than I would like to admit too,"

" and I am involved in your nightmare," Could that be hurt in her voice. I looked into her face and all I saw was calm and sympathy. "Am I causing you that much pain, Edward?"

"No," I denied vehemently. "I am causing **you** that much pain. James gets to you and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. I can't sleep because I know it's coming and it never changes. I would give anything just to have one night's rest where I don't have the image of you being hurt in my head."

"Oh,"

We sat there silently, both wrapped up in our own thoughts. The fact that Bella was sitting next to me seemed to have calmed me in a way that I hadn't felt since I left her. It felt unbelievably good, even though I was incredibly embarrassed.

"Edward, you need to sleep." Bella's gentle voice trickled into my thoughts and I realized that I had nodded off into a kind of doze.

"I can't. I don't want to go there again."

"I'll be here. Maybe that will help?" She reached up and searched my face for permission before she gently pulled my head down into her lap. I pulled my legs up onto the lounge and made myself comfortable against her. Her nearness relieved some of the simmering tension that was left over from the nightmare, and then her finding me in that embarrassing show of weakness. I allowed myself to relax into her hold and when she began to run her fingers through my hair in a comforting way I felt a surge of pleasure that made me sigh against her. This time sleep came without fear; without the nightmare.

Waking in the morning to find my head still resting in a sleeping Bella's soft lap, my arm wrapped around the top of her thigh and her own arm resting over the top of it in turn, as well as her fingers still intertwined in my hair, was surreal. I felt guilty that she would have had such an uncomfortable night's sleep whilst I had had the best one in ages. I went to gingerly remove my arm from around Bella's leg so that she wouldn't wake up but she reflexively gripped my arm so that it remained pinned under hers. I stayed put for a little while longer, enjoying how close she was and how she was holding me, but the guilt would not leave me so I knew I had to do something to make her more comfortable. It was only early; no one had stirred in the apartment at all yet so I endeavoured to move away from her again and this time she let me. I picked her up and placed her against my chest where I could hear her sleepily mutter my name. The sound of it tore at me; even in her sleep Bella made me feel like I was the most special thing in the world to her. Smoothly placing her in her bed so that she could rest easier, it took every ounce of my will not to crawl in next to her and continue holding her. Of course I didn't do it; instead I did what I did best. I disappeared.

_Fact number four: Bella Swan was compassionate_

Her capacity to be compassionate went beyond the norm. Bella oozed compassion; she gave it even when she herself was being ripped off in the process. She gave it to the people who least deserved it; and I included myself in that statement.

"Emmett we need to talk," Bella was frustrated and her voice was firm. I had sensed that she was getting agitated as we all sat down to eat lunch together and she had listened wordlessly to the barbed comments Emmett constantly threw at me. For once I held my tongue, not wanting to bring our feud out into the open for Bella and her friends to become aware of. As it was, Jacob was smirking at some of the more colourful insults Emmett laid on me and Angela was looking completely embarrassed.

"What? Now?" Emmett said between mouthfuls of his sandwich.

"Yes now." Bella stated and stood to leave the room.

"Don't go easy on him," Rosalie called after them as they left the room and Emmett actually looked back at her anxiously. She laughed with amusement. Someone other than herself was going to take him to task and she would be wishing she was there to see it happen.

I was curious as to what she was going to do and I knew it was wrong of me but I needed to hear and see it for myself also. I excused myself from everyone and made my way into the piano room. Bella and Emmett were outside on the balcony and couldn't see that I was now within earshot.

"Emmett, this needs to stop." Bella spoke gravely.

"What? " Emmett was all innocence.

"This taunting Edward. This being angry with him for something that has nothing to do with you."

"He deserves it. He is being a selfish prick and he is getting away with it. I don't want him to forget what he has done."

"Do you really think this is easy for him? He is hurting, Emmett and you're his friend; you're meant to support him, not give him grief every chance you get. I know you feel close to me and I genuinely feel the same way about you but what is happening between Edward and I is really none of your concern."

"But he hurt you. Doesn't that make you angry? Don't you just want to shake him and tell him to get his act together? Because I know I want to. You just go along living as if this has had no impact on you at all. You smile at him as if he has never done a thing wrong against you. You defend him and treat him like he is something special. He left you Bella. How does he deserve all that?"

"Yes I am angry. Of course I am hurt, but at the same time I kind of understand where he is coming from. He isn't doing this to be mean; he isn't trying to be selfish. He has two girl's lives on the line for something he believes is his fault and he doesn't want to add another one to the list. Imagine living with that on your conscience. Imagine worrying that you could be the reason someone you loved ceased to exist. If something happened to Rose or Alice, how would he face you? How would he face Jasper? What about his parents? Edward is not a weak person but he is frightened and he is hurting. He needs his friends to be there for him. He needs to know that he is fighting by your side, not against you."

Emmett said something more but I couldn't hear him. I was in my own awestruck comatose state. After everything I had done, Bella was playing my advocate. How could she be so string when I was being so weak?

"Emmett. I need to leave here tomorrow morning knowing that you are going to give Edward a break; that you are going to help him rather than make things harder for him. I can't stand the thought that I have caused a rift between any of you. You are too important to me for that. Edward has made his decisions and I am the one that has to live with that; I am the one who has the right to be angry with him, not you. However I am feeling is my business, not yours. How I deal with it is up to me, and me only. I appreciate you caring about me enough to try and give me some support but what you are doing is not the right way. When you hurt Edward you are hurting me. Please stop it."

There was no way Emmett would be able to resist Bella's plea. He was too much of a softie when it came down to it and he would want to make her happy.

"I guess I have missed Edward and I have been pretty harsh."

"You think so?" Bella joked to lift the tension. "Thank you Emmett. You don't know how much it will mean to me to know that Edward has all of you to help him through this whole James thing."

"You are really something Bella Swan. If my sister had turned out half as good as you I would have been the proudest brother in the world."

"Oh Emmett," I knew she had thrown herself at him for a hug and I took it as my cue to leave before I was caught. I had to agree with Emmett though. Bella was something else.

_Fact number five: Bella Swan was my inspiration_

The audience had settled into an anticipatory silence, waiting for what I had ready for them. I didn't need to look very far to see Jacob, Seth, Angela and Ben staring up at us wide eyed from the front row. Next to them was the object of my desire; the reason for this song; but I did have to build up the courage to do this one final thing for her before she left me to go home. I could not be with her but I could show her how much I cared. It was the first time I had revealed this song to anyone but the band and I was only doing it because she was standing there in the audience, inspiring me to do so.

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing__  
__Watch you smile while you are sleeping__  
__While you're far away and dreaming__  
__I could spend my life in this sweet surrender__  
__I could stay lost in this moment forever__  
__Well, every moment spent with you__  
__Is a moment I treasure___

_(Chorus)__  
__I don't wanna close my eyes__  
__I don't wanna fall asleep__  
__'Cause I'd miss you, baby__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing__  
__'Cause even when I dream of you__  
__The sweetest dream would never do__  
__I'd still miss you, baby__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing___

_Lying close to you__  
__Feeling your heart beating__  
__And I'm wondering what you're dreaming__  
__Wondering if it's me you're seeing__  
__Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together__  
__And I just wanna stay with you__  
__In this moment forever, forever and ever___

_I don't wanna miss one smile__  
__I don't wanna miss one kiss__  
__Well, I just wanna be with you__  
__Right here with you, just like this__  
__I just wanna hold you close__  
__Feel your heart so close to mine__  
__And just stay here in this moment__  
__For all the rest of time___

_(Chorus)__  
__Don't wanna close my eyes__  
__Don't wanna fall asleep__  
__'Cause I'd miss you, baby__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing__  
__'Cause even when I dream of you__  
__The sweetest dream would never do__  
__'Cause I'd still miss you, baby__  
__And I don't wanna miss a thing_

The audience had disappeared and I was looking directly in the eyes of Bella as I sung. When I finished I saw the tears glistening on her eyelashes and wanted so badly to be the one to wipe them away.

The song was how I felt about Bella but the fact was that, due to my own fears and weaknesses, I had made the choice to miss everything. Our future was no longer intertwined the way it should be. How ridiculous was that?

_Fact number six: I could not live without Bella Swan._

…………… and she was leaving me today because I had not fought hard enough. That fact spurred me into motion.

My parents greeted me as I barged through the front door of my apartment. I took no notice of them though; I was looking for signs of Bella, of any of them.

"You just missed them Edward and I must say I am shocked that you were rude enough not even to be here when they left. I know what's happening with Bella is hard on you but she was nothing but gracious in your presence and you couldn't even be polite enough to say goodbye," Esme was upset with me but I didn't have time to go into it with her.

"How long ago?"

It was my father who answered. He had registered the urgency in my words. "Only a few minutes ago. I imagine they are still in the garage. Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper went down with them to say their final goodbyes."

"Thanks,"

"Edward what is going on," my mum called after me but she was not given an answer. I did not have time to stop.

The lift took forever to make its way down to the basement and to my private garage. The agitation was swelling within me and I knew I was going to be too late. When they finally opened I saw that my family were standing in a small group to the side but they were alone. I saw the car heading towards the gate that would lead them out and take Bella away from me and I dashed without thought.

"Hey, what the…." Emmett boomed and made a grab for me.

"Let me go Emmett,"

"Oh god Edward, don't fucking make it any worse than it already is for her."

"I want to make it right so LET ME THE FUCK GO." I hardly registered the look of understanding that dawned on his face because I was running as fast as I could towards the car. Luckily the car was travelling at a slow speed so when I reached the side window and banged on it, the car instantly braked and I was standing their puffing.

"Bella,"

The door opened and I vaguely saw the surprised faces of Bella's friends look out at me. Bella stepped out of the car uncertainly "Edward, what are you doing. You could have…"

I didn't stop to think. I didn't allow myself to register what I was about to do. I just reacted to her presence and pulled her into my embrace to crush my lips against hers in a passion filled conveyance of all that I felt for her. She froze in my arms for one heart stopping moment and I thought she was going to reject me but then she brought her arms up to my head and pulled me as close as possible to her as she increased the pressure of our mouths. I threw every feeling I had into that kiss. I wanted her to know it all, my fears, my understanding, my needs and most of all that I could not live without her. When we parted she was clinging to me.

"What? I don't understand. You kissed me. I don't…… Edward what is going on?"

"I just started fighting, Bella. You asked me to find you when I was ready and I am. I will fight for us and to hell with James."

Exhilaration. Disbelief. Love. They all crossed Bella's face within seconds of my words. I looked into her eyes and saw the emotions overflowing there as well, but I also saw the tentativeness. She wanted this but she was still unsure. My heart felt heavy that I had led her to this point.

"For how long, Edward? Until the next time there is a threat and you choose to leave me for my own good. I can't do this again. It hurts way too much. I love you but I am not going to be living on edge wondering when you are going to get rid of me again because you are frightened of the risks. You can't constantly reject me and tell me it's for my own good; that it's the only way to keep me safe. You just can't do that" Her words faded into uncertainty and pain and they hurt me, even though I knew that I deserved them. I spoke clearly so that she could not miss my message.

"I love you. I want you. I will never let you go again. We will get through it if James threatens you, and we will do it together. It might never happen and I can't take the risk of losing you forever because of a maybe. You are my life. If you are not here, it's not worth living. I know that now."

"You really want me back?" She was disbelieving.

"Without a doubt," I breathed into her ear and she shivered in response to the emotion in my voice. "Stay please."

"Now? You want me to stay now?" She pulled away from me and looked at her friends who had now climbed out of the car to witness our very public outpouring of emotion. I should be embarrassed but I found I couldn't be. They were all aware of how hard these last few weeks had been for us both. Surely they would understand. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath to see how this would turn out.

"You guys can do without Bella for a few days can't you?" I spoke to them all but I was only looking at Bella, trying to work out which way she was going to fall. I wanted her with me not working her way home.

"Sure we can," Angela was the first to speak up. Jacob followed with his own form of acceptance, but much more reluctantly than Angela.

"Only if you promise not to pull that shit again, Cullen."

"Done." I did not miss his underlying threat at all and it made me think more of him for caring about her enough to let us do this. " All it's going to take now Bella, is for you to agree."

She looked at her friends one last time and then searched the faces of my family who had joined us.

"You promise Edward. You won't give up on us again so easily."

"There was nothing easy about it Bella but yes I promise. From now on it's the two of us."

She shook herself slightly and a small smile crept over her face. She was going to do it, I could see that and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"See you in a few days then." She squeaked at her friends as I lifted her up before she could get the words out completely and carried her towards the lift. Bella and I had some making up to do and we most definitely did not need an audience.

"What made you change your mind Edward?" Bella questioned breathlessly as I kissed up the side of her neck while we waited for the lift to return us to my apartment.

"You, Bella. Simply you." I smiled into the curve of her mouth as I readied myself to kiss her again. "I was never going to find another you. How could I possibly let that go?"

"Hmmm. Thank goodness for that." Her lips melded against mine in a loving gesture.

My heart caught on a breath as I accepted how close I had come to losing this feeling forever. Nothing I would ever do in my life would compare with the exquisite knowledge that Bella and I belonged together. That's what I was going to concentrate on. Not James, not the fame, not the distances that would be between us. For now it was all about Bella and I. We deserved a bit of happiness.


	34. Chapter 34 : Attention

**Hiya once again. I am going to continue posting this story, although it doesn't really appear that there is too much interest and that I am upsetting some people with the way I have portrayed Edward in this story. I do hope that some of you are getting enjoyment out of it and I really appreciate the few people who have taken the time to give me some lovely positive feedback on the story. That's not to say I don't want people to tell me what they think because I do but it is still nice to get some positives. **

**All I can say is that I love Edward – truly love him and I don't see him as a bad person at all. I keep saying that I know he has made lots of mistakes and that I see that as normal for all of us, so it really didn't occur to me to make him perfect. In the last chapter I felt that it was acceptable for Bella to have him back so readily because she is very understanding and she saw beyond him hurting her to why he was doing so. All she wanted him to do was admit it and be strong enough to accept the risks. I could not very well have her tell him that she was willing to fight for them to be together , one moment, and then have her turn around to say she didn't want to once he had made the decision to be with her. That would be so not Bella. I see the Bella in this story as pretty strong in many ways and really don't see her as a door mat at all. She loves Edward and is willing to accept things in order to be with him. If she didn't think he was the right one for her she would have let him go as soon as he decided he was going to protect her by leaving.**

**Anyway, for those of you who are reading this chapter, thanks heaps and hope to hear from you.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter 34

BPOV – Attention

Being back in Seattle while Edward was on the other side of the country was not half as bad as I expected. It was such an improvement on the empty and upsetting days I had been experiencing up to our New York trip, that I was more than willing to look at the positives and not dwell on him not being by my side. I returned to work with a skip to my step and a smile on my face. The days spent with Edward had been wonderful. We had enjoyed time alone together and also with his family. He made it quite clear that this was a relationship worth keeping and my confidence in us had grown exponentially as the days had passed. When I left New York, Edward and I were at peace with the possibilities and knew we would sort out any problems as they arose. Constant phonecalls, texts and emails made sure that the two of us were communicating often and he never ceased to let me know how much he loved me and wanted to be with me.

My days settled into a pleasant arrangement of work, getting ready to go back to uni and spending time with my friends. Seth had become a steadfast and entertaining addition to my daily life. We spent many moments laughing and enjoying the whole process of living. Whenever I felt myself succumbing to melancholy because I was missing Edward, Seth would be there to drag me out with his friends and we would end up having a great afternoon or night out that would lift my spirits again. When Jacob had suggested Seth as a good flat mate he had chosen well. He was integrating into my world quite effortlessly.

I was smiling at the recollection of Seth trying to impress a certain girl at a party we had gone to the night before when the phone rang and I bolted to pick it up, convinced it would be Edward for his good morning call.

"Is that Bella Swan?" A female voice cut across the line.

"Um. yes. Speaking," I answered back, unsure who was ringing.

"I am Meghan Price from the Seattle Times. I was wondering if you have any comment about your relationship with Edward Cullen?"

"Pardon," I said stupidly.

"Photos have become public of your dalliance with Edward Cullen. I was wondering if you would be willing to give our paper the scoop about what has been happening between the two of you. We would, of course, ensure that you were appropriately compensated for your story."

My voice came out feebler than I wanted it too. "I am sorry but I really don't know what you're talking about. There is no story for you to get. If you will excuse me I have to get ready for work,"

When I hung up the phone I felt a round of dizziness hit me without warning. What on earth had happened to bring this on? I thought back to my time in New York. Edward and I had not gone out together anywhere there. We had been content to just stay at his apartment and enjoy each other's company without any kind of interference from prying eyes. I had gone shopping with Alice and Rosalie a couple of times but Edward had never been with me then and no one could have taken photos of us if we weren't together in public. I was at a complete loss and was chewing my lip nervously when the phone rang again.

Five phone calls later and the words Edward Cullen ringing in my ears for the umpteenth time I sat on my couch and refused to answer another person's questions. How had I become a person of interest to these people? I felt a panic attack coming on and tried to breath deeply to ensure it didn't happen. As I was doing this Seth came through the front door.

"Bella I think we have some trouble on our hands."

"No kidding. I have had phone call after phone call questioning my relationship with Edward. I don't understand how it has suddenly come out,"

"I think I do," Seth answered and placed the newspaper in front of me. "Page three and just so you are aware, there are reporters outside on the streets waiting to work out which unit is yours so that they can get the story themselves. It kind of puts Grant in an awkward position because if he steps in to stop them getting to you it will only make them more sure that they are onto something between Edward and you, but if he doesn't he is not doing his job and he is ultimately putting you at risk."

"This day is getting worse and worse" I groaned and flipped the newspaper open so that I could see what had started this. I gasped when I saw the photo of Edward and I looking into each other's eyes as we danced. I was not even aware that this photo existed but it was quite apparent where it was from; Angela's wedding. How had the press got hold of it?

I read the small article beneath the picture and things fell into place. There were some people you didn't want to make mad and both Edward and I had made this person mad. Besides she was an opportunistic person who would get her five minutes of fame by providing this to the media and therefore the public.

_Love seems to be on the cards for superstar Edward Cullen and unknown beauty Bella Swan. If the picture is any indication the two are spending quality time together that goes beyond his usual reputation as a ladies man. Lauren Mallory of Forks tells us of longing looks, time spent together and a hidden romance. Aint love grand?_

The shock of seeing this in print did nothing for my nerves. I needed to speak to Edward and now. Seth grabbed the phone for me and tried to make light of the situation. "At least it's a pretty good photo Bella. You do look good together."

"Not helping Seth. Edward is going to be so angry and they actually named me. He is going to have a fit about James knowing who I am. I just got him back and now he is going to have an excuse to remove himself from me again. I don't think I am ready for any of this."

Hearing Edward's voice on the phone did nothing for my nerves as it normally would.

"Hey beautiful. I tried ringing you a while ago but the phone was constantly busy. You and Angela at it already?" he laughed.

"Edward I have been on the phone with the media; phone call after phone call to be exact. I don't know how to deal with any of this. I am a nobody. I don't want to be the centre of attention. There are people outside waiting for me to leave the flat. What am I meant to do?"

"Hold on Bella. What are you talking about? Why have you been contacted by the media?"

"Because there is a photo of the two of us, at Angela's wedding looking very cosy, in the Seattle Times and they have named me and everything. Tell me what I am meant to do because I have absolutely no idea. People are ringing me to ask if I want to sell my story of being with the famous Edward Cullen and all I want to do is curl up and pretend that this is not happening."

"They named you under the photo?" Edward's voice had turned to ice. "Who gave them your name?"

"The same person who gave them the photo; Lauren Mallory."

"Fucking bitch," I heard Edward exclaim under his breath, probably hoping I wouldn't hear him. "Ok Bella. Hold tight. I will ring you back in a minute on your mobile. Has anyone contacted you on that phone yet?"

"Ah no."

"Good. Don't answer the home phone again. I will ring back on the mobile soon I promise." and with that he hung up.

The minutes without his phone call seemed to drag on endlessly. Seth gave me a drink and sat down on the couch next to me to comfortingly rub my back. "It's going to be ok."

A tap on the door coincided with the ringing of my mobile. Seth got up to look through the peep hole and I picked up my phone.

"Bella, is Grant there yet?" Edward's tone clearly showed that he was tense about this whole situation. Seth was opening up the door so I could only assume that it was Grant who was about to enter the room.

"Yep. He just walked in."

"Ok listen Bella. Grant is now your shadow. I know you don't want to hear that but he is to be with you wherever you go. You need to come up with a cover of why he would be with you. Maybe a visiting relative or something. I don't care what the two of you come up with as long as it results in him always being with you. Have you got that?"

"Aha,"

"Now Alice has been looking up on the internet to see if this has gone any further than Seattle, and it has so I am going to have to go into wreckage control. Whatever you hear or read over the next few days you need to ignore, ok. It's probably too late but I am going to attempt to throw them off your scent. Bella do you understand me?"

"This isn't going to break us up, is it Edward? You're not going to leave to distract them from me?"

"Of course not Bella. I am not going to break my promise to you. We are in this together but I want you to be aware that I am going to lie to try and help you out. Please don't believe a word I say unless I am speaking directly to you. What I am about to do, I am doing because I love you and I don't want you to be in this awkward situation. Ok?"

I sighed. This sounded ominous.

"And one last thing, Bella. I don't want to scare you but James is likely to hear of this and you need to be really careful. Jasper is organising some extra security to head out your way. Don't put yourself in harms way. Stay close to Grant and Seth. In fact, you might be better off in Forks with your dad. Jacob's there too and he won't let any harm come to you."

"Actually Charlie and Sue are coming to stay with us tomorrow. Apparently they have something they want to discuss with Seth and I."

"Ok perfect. Having your dad with you will make me feel better. Would it look weird to your dad if you asked Jacob to join you all?"

"I don't think so but Jake might be busy. I'll ring and check."

"Alright. That's organised then. I know this really sucks Bella. I know it is the last thing you want to contend with but be brave, sweetheart. We will fix it one way or another. I promise. I love you, you know?"

"I love you too." and we broke off the connection.

I had no idea how the Cullens dealt with this constant scrutiny on a day to day basis. The phone calls never ended and looking through my window it was apparent that the reporters were not going to go away any time soon. Grant reassured me that they would soon have something else to call news and would leave me alone once they had. That time couldn't come quick enough for me. I had to go to work so I dressed myself into my uniform and pulled my hair back into a very unflattering ponytail in the hope they wouldn't see any similarities between me in real life and the falsely beautiful person who was dressed up at a wedding and looking at Edward with such intensity in the photo. Work passed without too much mishap. Jim was already aware of the status of my relationship with Edward so he was used to covering for me with respect to it. He was also an old hand at keeping media out of his hotel. It was almost laughable that this time he wasn't protecting famous people who were utilizing his hotel but rather plain old me. He had a sense of humour about that. Even so, I was nervous about the people around me getting some kind of bizarre satisfaction out of talking to the media about me. I didn't want my personal life splashed across the papers. I didn't want to hear people's opinions about why I could or couldn't be seeing Edward Cullen. It was too close to home.

With relief I welcomed Charlie and Sue into our unit, along with a Jacob who was all business. Somehow having these people around me made me feel more normal again. I could almost ignore that there were reporters camped on my doorstep waiting for some kind of evidence that I was indeed seeing a rockstar.

"Nice welcome Bells," Charlie shot at me as he entered the apartment.

"I aim to please dad."

"I bet you didn't think dating a musician would lead to all of this Bella. It must be a little overwhelming."

The five of us discussed the situation at hand and overall it made me feel better. I was sharing with people I loved; not complete strangers who wanted to buy me out, who wanted to sell my story. Soon the topic moved away from me and I was extremely relieved by the change in conversation.

The subject change did a lot to lift my spirits, giving us some good news that Seth and I had known was on the cards. Charlie nervously told us that he has asked Sue to marry him and she had accepted. They had come down for the few days because they wanted to share this with us face to face and they hoped we were ok with that.

"Ok? Of course we are ok, right Seth? You two are perfect together and dad, I am so happy that you have found someone to be happy with, although Sue I have to say you've lucked out in the kitchen department with this one. Really bad" I joked with her as I threw my arms around my father in an unusual show of emotion. It seemed he didn't know how to react to that because he patted my back awkwardly before letting go and giving me a true hug which made my day. He was obviously really opening himself up to new things and I had Sue to thank for that. When I hugged Sue it was with admiration and appreciation; she would never know how wonderful it was for me to know that my father would not grow older with no one by his side. I realized in that moment that it had always been a fear of mine.

"Looks like you and I are going to get even closer than we thought, bro," I teased Seth and he grinned in response.

"Well I have been looking after you lately the way a big brother would, so nothing changing there,"

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Ah hate to break your bubble there Seth but you are younger than me."

"Ah yes but I am definitely bigger and it's the brawn that counts." He winked at me and for a brief second I was reminded of Emmett and his teasing ways. Seemed I had two men in my life now, who thought of me as a sister and teased accordingly. The feeling was actually really nice. My family was extending in ways I had never imagined.

Jacob and Seth gave their own congratulations to the olds and then it was wedding discussion time, which the boys checked out of pretty quickly. Sue and I took it into the kitchen and I was glad to have such a happy distraction to keep my mind off what was happening outside my home.

"Do you know what?" I spoke enthusiastically as I walked back into the lounge area where the boys were all sprawled across the lounges talking about their favourite subject of sport. The lounge room looked minuscule with so many bodies crammed into it. I wasn't sure that our flat had ever hosted so many people in it at the one time. "I think we should go out and celebrate." The words were no sooner out of my mouth than my attention was diverted to the television screen where an interviewer was grilling the whole band of Cullen Alliance.

"Oh my god. Jacob turn it up please." Jacob grabbed the remote control and aimed it at my television.

"………_.. such a success. How much longer will you be touring and can we expect a new album out any time soon."_

It was Edward who answered and I held my breath as I watched his relaxed movements and heard his low timbered voice. Seeing Edward always made me feel so many emotions and even on television this was true. He was marvelous to look at and that voice was heaven to my ears. I concentrated on his words rather than the play of light in his hair but it was oh so difficult.

"_We have a few months more touring to take place to finish off our American tour. This has been our longest tour to date so it has been a tiring experience but one we've all loved," The cameras panned across the faces of Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett who were all nodding in agreement. "I think once the tour has finished early next year, we will take a well earned break before heading for the studio to put together the next album."_

Selfishly I couldn't wait for that long earned break to occur. Edward had made it clear that we would be spending more time together when that time came and I couldn't wait for it. Phonecalls and emails were nice but having Edward right next to me would be so much better.

"_Edward and I have both been writing whilst moving around so there are already some of the songs in the pipeline for the album," Jasper added. "We think the next album will show a different side to our musical journey and we are looking forward to collaborating on that."_

"_Your lives seem to be particularly busy at the moment. How do you guys find the time to have fun?"_

"_There's always time for fun," Emmett laughed and the rest of them smirked at his enthusiasm. _

They spoke about the things that they did for fun and I listened intently, finding this view of them interesting. How strange that people would not assume that they did the same kinds of things as us when having down time. They frequented bars, they went to parties, they played video games, they shopped; the list went on but coming out of their mouths it was like it was something amazingly different and not to be expected. How frustrating would that be?

"_..and romance? Clearly Emmett and Rosalie; the two of you are still going strong." Emmett smiled like a cheshire cat and I laughed out loud so that everyone in my loungeroom looked at me expectantly. None of them were to know just how 'strong' Rosalie and Emmett were going and it wasn't my place to divulge that bit of information so I kept my eyes trained on the television screen, rather than say anything. Emmett was so proud of his little secret._

"_Jasper. There has been some talk that you have been out and about being photographed with different beauties. What is happening there?"_

_Jasper smiled serenely and I was a little surprised by that reaction. She had basically just accused him of cheating on Alice and he didn't even look remotely upset by that. "There is only one woman for me Ms Lynch; always has been and always will be. She is an amazingly beautiful, bright, talented person whom I am very happy with. That's all I have to say on the subject."_

Way to tell her Jasper. I imagined Alice's proud face as she listened from the sidelines to her boyfriends answer. Jasper was definitely a charmer.

"_Edward, over the past couple of days you've been linked with a woman from Forks."_

Edward faked surprise and Jacob guffawed at the television. I was holding my breath waiting to see what he told her.

"_Ms Lynch I am always being linked with woman from all over the place. It's the downside of being single. Everyone feels the urge to match you up. I am more than happy with my single status; I enjoy owning my own time and not having to report back to some controlling girlfriend who doesn't understand my lifestyle. My freedom is important to me. There is no love on the cards, so to speak."_

Edward looked slightly amused as he said the words and although he had warned me he was going to lie to help me, I did not expect it to be done so well and be so hurtful. Controlling girlfriend indeed.

"Are you ok honey?" Sue asked concerned.

I nodded but couldn't bring myself to speak. I was like a passerby watching an accident take place and I could not drag my eyes away from it, no matter how much I knew it was a good idea to do so.

"_So how do you explain the picture that is currently doing the circuit of papers around the country?"_

The interviewer was wanting more from Edward than his blasé anti girlfriend spiel. She wanted to get the scoop and she was going to dig for it.

"_Which photo?" he asked casually but I could see the little signs that he was getting agitated, that no one else would notice. Of course the main one being that his hand was now at his head and he was running those fingers through the hair._

_Rosalie leant across to Edward and said quietly but loud enough for the microphone to catch. "I think she is talking about the photo from the wedding." She gave the interviewer a huge smile and for a brief moment the attention was on her and not Edward. "The woman in the photo is a good friend of mine and of our family. We've known her for years. It was taken at a wedding we all attended some months ago. Completely innocent I can assure you."_

_The interviewer targeted Edward again. "So the girl in the photo means nothing to you then."_

"_Nothing, in the romantic sense of the word. All I can say is that the poor girl is probably trying to explain to her boyfriend why her face is all of a sudden splattered across all the newspapers. That concerns me given that she is such good friends with my sister and with Rosalie here and no doubt they are going to make my life hell for putting their friend in that position. Apparently we danced as the photo suggests but when it comes down to it I danced with a lot of people that night. There was nothing particularly memorable about the dance with her."_

_Ms Lynch looked disappointed that she hadn't got more out of him but she held herself together and asked a few more questions unrelated to me and soon the interview was over._

"Well, that's a fine boyfriend you have there, Ms Swan," Charlie's sarcasm was not held back.

I nodded blankly. Internally I was screaming to myself not to lose the good feeling I had about Edward because I knew he had been lying and there was only one purpose behind it and that was to keep the media and James from my door.

"He said all those things to help her out Charlie, not to embarrass her," Seth explained to Charlie but he just hmphed.

Jacob was looking closely at me. "Are you ok Bells. That was hard to watch, I know but you are more than aware why he said all those things."

"Sure I do but it's still a wee bit disconcerting, I have to say, to see your boyfriend deny you even exist as a person relevant to him."

Everyone's eyes were on me in sympathy and I couldn't stand it anymore. I bolted out of my seat, intent on not living through more speculative glances. "Weren't we talking about celebrating our good news here? Let's get out of this unit and have some fun. It's not everyday that your father comes home to tell you he's getting married."

"Or your mum either." Seth interjected.

Getting outside and to our cars didn't pose much of a problem. Jacob had his arm possessively around my shoulders as we moved through the throng of people. To an outsider it would appear that he was my boyfriend and that would only serve to make Edward's story more credible. I noticed that some of the pack had left which gave me some hope that I was already old news and not worth staking out. As soon as a reporter asked me if I would like to comment on Edward's declaration that I was a nobody to him, my father snarled at the man whilst flashing his badge "My daughter has no comment to make. Go and find a more worthy story, you morons."

Sue exclaimed at her fiance's rudeness but I secretly felt proud of my dad. Over the last couple of days I had wanted to call these people more than morons but had been too polite. I also had to remember they were only doing their job and feeding the public's insatiable need to know about things that really weren't their business. I had a feeling I was going to have to learn that to a greater degree as my relationship progressed with Edward.

Grant, Jacob, Seth and I shared a car to the restaurant I had, a few minutes ago, booked us into. On the way my phone rang and I knew it would be Edward. He was constantly needing an update from me to convince himself that I was alright.

"Harsh Cullen, harsh," I stated as soon as I had hit the accept call button.

"So I have been relegated to Cullen now, have I? You sound like one of my mates Bella, not my girlfriend."

"Well apparently you're not the dating kind of a guy so I can only assume we are mates; although it does disturb me a little if you kiss all your mates the way you kiss me."

Edward laughed outright and it felt good that we could see the humour in this situation. It lightened the bad feeling I had in my stomach from having to listen to his public words. "So I am guessing you saw my little act and you have half forgiven me for what I had to do."

"Aha I saw the whole interview and I have to tell you that Jasper is looking damn fine to me right at this moment. He knows how to treat his woman which is more than I can say for you, Mr she was not memorable and I like my freedom so don't tie me down."

"All lies Bella. I warned you I would be lying and not to believe what I said in the public eye."

"Sure you did Edward but you didn't warn me how embarrassing it would all be. Jeez. I am going to be forever known as the women who didn't even register on Edward Cullen's radar of love. People will be feeling sorry for me all over the world."

"Not if I can help it, you won't be, Bella Swan. There will come a time when the whole world will know that you are the only woman for me. I can take a leaf out of Jasper's book too you know."

The thought of that sent delicious slivers of feeling through my body. I loved it when he told me how much I meant to him and I couldn't even pretend to be angry with him anymore.

"And how do you think I feel, Bella? I just made myself out to be the biggest unfeeling cad in the entire music world. If women had any sense they would be staying away from me in their droves."

"I like the sound of that Edward but somehow I doubt that will ever happen."

"Ok. Ok. Am I forgiven?"

"By me; absolutely. By my dad; that's a completely different story,"

"Oh shit, please don't tell me that your dad watched that interview too. That is going to make life somewhat difficult. He does know why I did it, doesn't he?"

"Knowing and caring are two different things Edward," I was enjoying his squirming just a little too much.

Edward swore.

"Settle. My dad's not stupid. He will figure it out. We are actually off to celebrate with him and Sue. Looks like Seth and I are about to become step brother and sister. How is that bit of news for you?"

Edward and I finished our conversation and he hung up to get ready for the night's concert. We had made it to the restaurant so we parked and walked in. As I walked in I promised that tonight was going to be all about my dad and Sue. I pushed the unsettling interview to the back of my head and concentrated on making this a great night for them.

The night went by with enjoyment had by all of us. We toasted to the newly engaged couple. Charlie and Sue were like two young kids in love for the first time and Seth and I grinned at each other from time to time to see them so happy. I had never believed that my dad was going to get over my mum and the thought had always saddened me. I was glad to be proven wrong. Sue and Charlie were perfect for one another.

Once dinner was completed Sue and Charlie suggested they go home while us 'kids' continued enjoying a night out. Seth and Jacob were keen so I went along for the ride. There was nothing for me to do at home but go over and over what Edward had said in that interview, and worry needlessly about it, so I agreed without too much persuasion. We headed out to a new nightclub that Seth had heard about from one of his mates.

I had never been a dancer but Seth and Jacob had no such qualms and they instantly hit the dance floor to show their moves. I sat back to enjoy the entertainment, a glass of wine in my hand. Grant opted to join me at the table rather than have to do his own style of dancing. He was working after all and even though it was easy enough to forget that when he was such good company, his constant scanning of the room reminded me that there could be danger lurking around the corner at any time. A couple of hours later Jacob was flirting up a storm with an attractive blonde girl and I knew that he might not be coming home with us tonight. I couldn't help but feel happy about that. Jacob was looking the most relaxed and happy I had seen him for a while. When she started to guide him off the dancefloor and towards the exit I knew my assumption had not been wrong at all. He searched for me to determine that all was ok with me if he left. I gave him the thumbs up and his smile broadened as he left the building.

"Looks like there's only three of us going home tonight, Grant. Jacob has abandoned us for a girl with no morals," I joked, tongue in cheek, and Grant chuckled softly.

"Some guys get all the luck, hey?"

Seth came and plonked himself next to me and I moved out of his way so that I wasn't splattered with the sweat that he had worked up on the dancefloor. "Come on Bells, come and dance with me. It can't be a good thing sitting here and watching all night."

"I am quite happy being the wall flower thanks very much and Grant has been telling me all kinds of interesting stories to keep me entertained."

"Rightio. Just give me a couple of more dances to try and impress the girl in the red dress and then we can head home. Is that alright with you?"

"No probs, Seth. Good luck,"

"I'm going to get one more drink Grant. Do you want anything?"

"I'll get them Bella," Grant went to stand up but I waved him back down.

"I need to go to the ladies anyway so I will get them on the way back. You stay here and enjoy the view." I smirked at him and he laughed back.

"and as if that's going to happen while I'm being paid Bella. I will wait for you at the door of the hallway. I figure if I stand outside the actual toilets I might get myself kicked out for being some kind of pervert." His words made me groan; I couldn't even go to the ladies without a chaperone. I wondered how long this would last.

I was leaving the ladies room and heading down the long hall back into the bar area when I heard my name being called.

"Bella. How good is it to see you?" In the dim light of the hallway I found it hard to recognise who was addressing me but a small warning voice in my head made me walk at a quicker rate to get back out to Seth and Grant.

A white calloused hand grabbed my arm and I swallowed a scream. I looked around to see if there was anyone round who could help me out. Somehow the hall was empty; what was the chance of that happening in a club? I looked longingly at the door where I knew Grant was standing waiting for me. If I screamed loud enough maybe he would hear me. For some reason nothing came out of my mouth.

"Hey. What's wrong Bella? I thought you'd be as happy as I am to see you. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this moment."

I tried to shake his hand off me but it only tightened further and I could feel the strength behind the simple action. He moved his body up towards mine and I saw a quick glint of a knife placed against my side.

"Don't make a sound or say anything stupid and everything will be just fine." He crooned into my ear and the sound of it repulsed me beyond anything I had ever heard before. I took a closer look at his face and realized that I was in fact now face to face with James; the man who had tormented Edward for the past few years and the man that I held a deep hatred for, on that basis only.

He began to head the opposite way; away from the bar. A couple of girls came out of the toilets giggling and he casually placed his arm over my shoulder to make us appear like lovers going for a quick detour out the back. I could still feel the edge of the knife pushing into my side so I was reluctant to make any kind of noise, to alert them to my problem, in case it resulted in them being hurt as well.

"Good choice," He whispered as he nuzzled into my ear. I looked at the girls as we passed them and I recognised one of them as the girl in the red dress who Seth had been trying to get close to. I met her glance without flinching but tried to convey that I was in trouble. The chances that she had even seen that I had been with Seth in the club were slim but I had to have some kind of hope. Something flickered in her eyes before she smiled brightly at us. My heart sank. She might think that I had just picked up and was taking the guy outside for a bit of fun. I shuddered at that thought. There were too many ifs and buts in this situation and I had absolutely no idea what I could do to save myself, and ultimately Edward.

EPOV

The concert had gone well but I was distracted. Everything I had said during the television interview today had been very carefully planned out but it still caused bile to rise in my throat, knowing that I would be hurting Bella with such ungrounded lies. The alternative was way worse so I convinced myself that a few white lies would not send me to hell.

I was thinking about the fact that Bella's dad had also witnessed my little anti girlfriend tirade when I noticed a man from the concert hall walking towards us with a smile on his face.

"Great concert everyone." He said pleasantly but I hardly heard because I was looking at the envelope in his hands and a sense of dread was working its way through me.

"This came for you a few minutes ago, Mr Cullen. It is marked urgent so I thought I would bring it to you myself."

He left me after I had taken the package with shaking hands. I ripped it open without any thought and the others crowded around me to see what it was. We were all holding our breaths, almost certain that it would be a message from James.

_Well Eddie boy, you have been holding out on me. _

_The game has now changed. _

_PS. Just so you know I don't think the photo does her justice. She is so much cuter in real life._

My mind became a broken place of thoughts screaming and begging for help. How did I deal with this outcome? James knew about my Bella and he was aware that by getting to her, he would punish me. Nothing would give him greater pleasure than seeing me writhe with the pain of knowing he could hurt her; control her. I silently searched the faces of my family and their faces registered shock and fear. They knew what this meant, they knew what we could possibly lose. Jasper was already on the phone speaking urgently to some nameless person on the other end. I felt detached from the noises he was making. I should be doing something to help save her but I was incapable of anything.

James was too close to Bella and there was no way I could get to her to save her. The impossibility of the distance and the situation mocked me.

I was in New York.

Bella was in Seattle.

And James was about to make his move.

**Put your hands up if you dislike James as much as I do. He needs to have some butt kicked but who should do it for him??????**


	35. Chapter 35: Levels of Fear

Chapter Thirty Five

BPOV - Levels of Fear

Fear strikes us all in different ways. If someone had previously asked me, I would have said I would go down kicking and screaming when faced with a mad guy trying to kidnap me, but that was not how it played out at all. No. I froze, and allowed myself to be forcefully guided towards a door that would take me away from my one chance of getting out of this. I thought of Grant and Seth waiting for me inside the club and cringed. I imagined their concern as they tried to find where I had disappeared to and the inevitable explanations to Edward about how we had managed to get ourselves into this predicament, where I was no longer in reach of any one of them. It was going to hurt them all badly. I was going to be the cause of their hurt and yet here I was, doing nothing to stop it. I inwardly screamed at myself to do something; anything, so that I could halt the actions that would lead to heartache. James could not do this to me; he could not do this to any of us.

As we left the building, the cool air hit me in a gush, after the intense heat of bodies pressed together in the small areas of the club. It did something to clear my head of the fog of fear and indecision that had been enveloping me and it became apparent that I was running out of time. Getting into the car, that James was dragging me towards, was not a consideration as far as I was concerned. As soon as I did so I would be lost, and the adrenaline that was now pulsing through my veins would not allow that to happen without a fight.

James took his hand away from my shoulders to open the car door but did not take the knife away from my side as he did so. I could feel it pressed against my clothing and wondered if it would hurt too much when it cut me. I could not think of that possibility. Now would be my last chance to get away from him and raise the alarm. If cutting me was the worst he got to do, it would be a welcome acceptance. I threw my elbow as hard as I could into his stomach and watched fascinated as he doubled over in surprise, more than pain. I felt a stinging in my side as if it came from a great distance but it was nothing compared to the red hot anger I felt towards this man for what he was trying to do to me; to Edward. He clutched at me as I drew my elbow up again but I never met his body in any kind of an impact because James was no longer by my side. A whoosh of movement passed by me and James was on the ground; and he was not alone.

As if in slow motion I watched, appalled, as Seth and James began to dance a twisted movement of survival. Somehow Seth had become my savior and now he was fighting valiantly against James to try and save himself. Seth was big and strong but James was fighting with a desperation that only a mad man would know. He wanted to finish off Seth quickly so that he could get back to the 'prize' that was me. Seth was of no importance to him. Seth had got in his way and he would do anything to set things back onto his own plan of destruction.

Their intertwined bodies were a blur as Seth tried to knock the knife from James hand, therefore making the fight more evenly balanced. It never happened. They rolled sideways and I gasped in horror as time after time the point of the knife got too close to a part of Seth's body. This could not be happening. I searched frantically for something that I could hit James with, to help save my friend but there was nothing around me at all. In the same instant that I heard shouting, and responded with my own screams of help, James took a swipe at Seth and it opened up his side. Seth immediately deflated before my very eyes and as he grabbed hold of his side, he fell backwards and cracked his head against the concrete in a sickening crunch. I groaned in horror and was about to leap onto James in a useless attempt to stop him hurting Seth anymore when Grant was suddenly there. He kicked the knife from James hand, pulled James away from Seth's lifeless body and then aimed a drawn gun at him.

"Do not move an inch, you stupid piece of scum," the ferocity of Grant's voice invaded my consciousness even as I fell towards Seth to check the seriousness of his injuries. I sat down and dragged his head into my lap and his eyes fluttered spasmodically but never really opened to see that we were now safe. I tore some material off the shirt I was wearing and bunched it up into a ball so that I could try and stem the blood coming from the gash that marred his side. The piece of material was almost instantly covered in the red stain of his blood and it made me start to panic. Seth needed help and quickly.

"I've called an ambulance," an unknown voice spoke softly in my ear. "Here, put this around him. We need to keep him warm." A coat was handed to me and I gently pulled it over Seth's lifeless body, pulling him closer to try and give him some of my own body warmth.

I looked up to put a face to the voice and was startled to see the girl in the red dress staring down at the face of my soon to be brother, with concern in her eyes. She gulped a little and gave her attention back to me.

"I had no idea when I told him. I could just tell that you needed help. I didn't know that the guy would have a knife. I didn't know that Seth would be hurt because of what I told him." Her voice was rising and I sensed that she was about to go into shock from inadvertently being involved in this drama. I reached up with the hand that was not holding Seth's side and squeezed her gently.

"Thank you. You saved my life and Seth is strong. He will be fine. He has to be,"

She looked into my eyes searching for some kind of truth in my words and nodded absent mindedly. I thought she would move away but instead she sat down beside us and placed herself against the other side of Seth so that she was sharing her warmth with him too. She held onto his hand and rubbed it as if in doing so she would rub some life back into his limbs.

"Bella. How is he holding up," Grant questioned harshly, never taking his eyes off James, who was sitting on the ground with his hands on his head but staring belligerently at Grant.

"There's a lot of blood Grant. Too much blood. He needs to get to the hospital quickly." I pressed harder into Seth's side with my makeshift bandage and thought I felt a small jump of reaction from Seth but couldn't be sure. Grant fleetingly looked at me to check that I was ok but returned his gaze to James as if he was worried he would try something and somehow escape and evade punishment.

"I can hear the sirens. They're on their way. Bella are you ok enough to ring your dad and get him to meet us at the hospital? I don't want to risk my attention right at this moment."

"My phone is inside, with my bag." I muttered and he threw his phone towards me. The girl in the red dress grabbed it so that I didn't have to let go of Seth and dialed the number that I recited to her. She held the phone up to my ear as I spoke haltingly to my dad.

"Dad. We need you at the hospital. Seth has been hurt."

I looked at James as I said the words and he snarled at me in response. My heart thumped against my rib cage as I saw the animosity in his face. Because of this man Seth was gravely injured and my boyfriend had been living with constant worry for the people he loved. The hatred inside me flamed up yet again and the viciousness of such emotion nearly sent me reeling. If I hadn't been holding Seth and trying to ensure that he lived to see another day I would have gladly got up and punched James in the face, just to relieve the pressure. I glared at him for making me feel such negativeness and the fact that he laughed back at me told me beyond any words that he felt exactly the same way, and that this was far from over. James had not got what he wanted yet and a new emotion came to sit with my hatred. Despair. This was never going to end.

To distract myself from the ominous realization I concentrated on the rise and fall of Seth's chest as he raggedly took in breaths of air. Seth was what mattered here and I could worry about the rest once I knew he was in safe hands and out of the woods. It wasn't long before the police arrived to work through the mess and a minute or two later the ambulance arrived to give their assistance to Seth and surprisingly, myself. In the time that I had been sitting there with Seth I had not realized that I too was cut, albeit superficially in comparison to Seth, and a medic was examining me at the same time as Seth was being looked after. I couldn't stand the wait; I just wanted them to worry about Seth and get him to the help he needed in hospital.

As Seth was finally placed into the ambulance and I followed him for support, James called after me and his words left a trail of misgiving running up and down my spine.

"Give my greetings to Eddie Boy, Bella. Let him know that I love that his girlfriend is so challenging. I absolutely fucking love it."

My body stiffened but I kept my face as expressionless as possible despite my frantic thoughts and rapidly beating heart. I was working overtime to keep the panic at bay. James could not be allowed to see that his words had affected me, and I wanted to believe that his underlying threat would never be achieved. James needed to go down for this. I needed to make sure he did, because otherwise Edward and I were never going to have any peace. That was no way to live your life.

* * *

We exhibited a pretty abject picture; the five of us, sitting there waiting for some kind of news. No one spoke. Sue sat rigidly next to my father, who was absently staring into space. Charlie had been in an absolute panic until he had seen that I was not badly hurt. He had held me against him for interminable minutes to convince himself that James had not damaged me in the same way he had harmed Seth. He scanned my body for injuries and his face tightened when he saw the bandage on my side, peeping out from my torn shirt. Once he had ensured that I was relatively unscathed he let me go and had given all his attention to Sue who was now praying for her son to come out of this alive.

Jacob had his head in his hands and refused to look at any of us. I knew the guilt was eating away at him because he had been absent when everything had gone down. I couldn't help him with that yet. I was only just holding myself together; guilt and fear were colliding inside my own head and I couldn't take on someone elses needs as well. I had managed to shut myself down to try and deal with what had just happened.

Grants face was a mask of concentration. He had already been interviewed by the police and he had reported back to Jasper and Edward about what had happened. He had his own self reproach to work through. He felt he had failed, due to the panicked phonecall from Jasper that had led him outside because the reception had been so bad, and now I had been exposed to James, and Seth had been badly wounded. He was considering that things should have been so much different than the actual outcome.

Hours passed and nothing changed. There was no news to let us know that Seth was going to be ok. Seth had saved my life but now he was in surgery fighting to come back to us. I willed him to be strong enough to do so.

When Carlisle walked into the waiting room, with Esme by his side, the lifelessness in the room subsided just a little as Sue jumped to her feet and ran towards the doctor.

"Thank you for coming Carlisle. They have my son in there and I need to know what's happening. I need to know that they are doing everything possible. I need someone in there that I trust." Sue's voice was a broken mass of pain and inability to do anything.

"They will be doing everything possible Sue but I will go and find out what is happening. I will be back soon." He headed towards the nurses desk but then retraced his steps to come and kneel beside me.

"Are you ok Bella?"

I nodded my head but didn't speak. He reminded me so much of his son and at that moment I would have given anything to have Edward's arms around me to make me feel like this was all just a nightmare and we were all alright. As if he could read my mind he gave me some words of comfort. "Edward's on his way, sweetheart. He is getting here as fast as he can."

I already knew this because Grant had told me, but Carlisle saying it made me feel a hundred percent better. Grant had told me that Edward had wanted to speak to me but I had been with the doctor getting stitches in my side at the time of the call and then he had been non contactable because he was on a plane to get here. I needed something of Edward to make me feel better and Carlisle had been the next best thing. I could almost believe everything was going to be ok.

Carlisle left to see what he could find out for us and Esme went to the canteen to get some coffee for everyone. When she returned and gave everyone a cup off the tray she was carrying, she sat beside me and pulled me against her.

"Thank god you are ok, Bella," she whispered into my ear so that only I could hear her. The words made me consider how close I had come to being used as a tool to get at Edward. I was sickened by the idea of how badly he would be feeling right now.

Leaning against Esme, and feeling the love she had for me radiating through her body, made me relax into a kind of trance and I found myself falling to sleep wrapped in her soothing arms. In the back of my mind I knew that there were too many reasons why I should stay awake but my mind succumbed to a little bit of peace and I allowed it to take me away from the reality of the tense waiting room.

At some point I felt myself being moved but I fought against the urge to open my eyes and find out what was happening. I was enjoying the bliss of no thoughts and wanted it to last a bit longer. When I finally began to wake up properly my first thought was that Esme was no longer holding me and my second thought was that I could smell Edward. My eyes flicked open to find that my face was up against the warm chest of Edward and the knowledge made me clutch at him in desperation. He was here and he was holding me as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him. Surely everything would be ok now. Surely!

"Bella," he questioned uncertainly. I raised my head so that I could show him that I was awake and his arms convulsed around me in relief. "Oh god baby. I am so sorry."

"Not your fault Edward so don't even go there," I firmly stated and then lifted my head away from his chest so that I could observe what was happening around us. As much as I wanted to just lose myself in Edward's arms, there were other things that needed my attention right now. Important things. Charlie and Sue were sitting in nearly the same position as before, Esme was sitting next to Jacob with her arm resting lightly on his knee in a show of support. Everyone's stance told me that there had been no change in the news. We were still waiting.

Grant was no longer here and I looked at Edward questioningly. He shrugged a little off handedly.

"I was angry with him and it was not the time or the place, so Jasper made Grant leave with him so that I did not make things worse."

I gasped as his words sank in. "Don't you dare blame Grant for this Edward. He did nothing wrong. He was watching me up to a point of obsessiveness; he followed me to the toilets for god's sake and it's only that Jasper rang him to tell him about the threat you got, that he stepped out of position for one moment. He saved us Edward. You should be thanking him not admonishing him. If it wasn't for him, Seth wouldn't even have the chance he is getting now and I most certainly would not be here."

Edward's hold on me tightened telling me that he was not coping with the thoughts my words had made him envision. "I know, I know. I was just so worried and the thought of you being hurt and knowing that Seth was; it was all too much and he copped my anger. I will apologise when I see him."

"You had better because I am not taking any of that crap Edward. He is on our side. If you want to be angry with anyone, save it for James. Don't make anyone else pay for his despicable actions. Noone is responsible but James. Got it."

Edward's lips twitched at the fire in my words. "I've got it Ms Swan and I fully intend to deal with James but not now. Now is all about Seth. He is what matters at this time."

At that moment Carlisle walked through the doors and he was garbed in surgeon clothing and I realized with a start that he had gone in to help with the operation. I did not know that that was even possible but the thought flitted away as I looked at his face for some kind of confirmation of what had happened. Before he could speak, we were all on our feet begging for answers. He directed his words to Sue, as Seth's mother, but the words were like a healing balm for all of us.

"Seth is out of the woods. He on his way to recovery and although it was touch and go in there for quite a while, we managed to save him. He is one strong boy Sue. He was not letting go without a fight."

Carlisle continued speaking, explaining what injuries Seth had sustained and how they had counteracted them but I was no longer listening. I slouched against Edward in absolute relief and he held me tenderly, whispering words of encouragement into my ears. If anyone would understand how I felt at that precise moment in time it was Edward; he knew what it was like to feel responsible for someone elses life because they had been harmed in your place. Seth had made it and nothing could make me happier. He had not paid the ultimate price for being friends with me.

"Can I see him," Sue asked with new found hope in her voice.

"Absolutely, Sue but remember that he has been through an extremely intricate operation and he will be out for quite a while yet. He will need plenty of rest so I want you all to consider that when you are visiting him. No more than two of you at a time."

Sue and Charlie followed Carlisle to the recovery room and the rest of us sat back down to dwell in our relief. Jacob looked me straight in the eye for the first time since he had walked into this hospital and I smiled weakly at him.

"I am so sorry Bella. I should never have left you guys."

"Hey Jacob it would have made no difference and it's all ok now so we can let it go." I spoke softly but with conviction. Jacob had nothing to apologise for.

"I should have been there," he retorted with anger and then aimed his words at Edward. "I know you must be incredibly pissed off with me Edward and I don't blame you. You trusted me to help protect her and I didn't manage to do that. I hate myself for being so fucking selfish and not considering the consequences."

"Hey. Like Bella said it's all ok now. We can forget about the recriminations and guilt trips. Both Bella and Seth are alive and James is in custody finally."

"Yeh but I left them to go off with a girl I didn't know and it could have….."

My desperation to stop Jacob from talking and making Edward more agitated, with his revelation that he had left me to be with some unknown girl, made my words come out much too angrily.

"For Pete's sake Jacob. You have a life and no one expected you to give it up because of me. You had every right to leave the club when you flippin wanted to. None of us could have foreseen that James would be onto me so quickly." I could feel Edward clench his fists, trying to control the anger he was now feeling. I needed to do something quickly before Edward lost his cool and had a go at Jacob. Nothing was coming to me but then Edward's words interrupted the conversation I was trying so hard to complete. His voice was extremely controlled.

"Jacob, we could all go over how this was our fault and how we should have done things differently but the fact remains the same. James did this. Not you, not me, not Grant, not Bella. Every single one of us feels some kind of guilt and we need to let it go. James has done enough damage; he can't be allowed to turn friends against one another in our need to make ourselves feel better or take on the blame."

Jacob and I looked at Edward in surprise but then his words hit us with their truth and we all nodded in recognition. We were not going to give James any more power over us. I grabbed Jacob to give him a hug of understanding and he held me tightly before relinquishing me back into the arms of Edward.

When Sue and Charlie came out I was pleased to see that Sue's pallor had returned to its normal colouring and she looked more at ease with herself.

"He's still sleeping but I can feel he is going to be ok. Maybe you guys should go in and see him too. It will make you feel better to know he is going to be alright." Sue smiled at us all in understanding. Not once during this whole ordeal had she thrown accusations at us for our part in her son being hurt. She had accepted that things had happened that were outside our control.

Edward motioned for me to go in with Jacob and the two of us made our way in to see our fallen friend. It was hard to see him with all the tubes and bandages but he looked so at peace that it was hard to imagine that he was in any kind of pain. Jacob and I took opposite sides of the bed and each of us took one of Seth's hands in our own and then gave our free hand to each other so that the three of us were linked in friendship.

"Thank you Seth," I breathed and kissed his bruised hand lightly. Jacob's gaze fell on his friend and then on me.

"Yes thank you Seth. I could not have stood losing either one of you. Thanks for making sure that didn't happen. You did well kiddo."

We sat for a few more moments in the absolute quietness of the room, beside the sounds of machines giving Seth the opportunity to heal properly. I got the same feeling as Sue had, before us. Seth was going to be fine and I would be spending a lot of my time, in the future, ensuring he knew of my gratitude.

When we returned to the waiting room I went straight into Edward's waiting arms and he kissed my forehead gently.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" I questioned him and he looked at me in surprise and then panic.

"I don't really think I have the right to go in Bella." Edward started to say and I was about to argue with him when I felt Sue standing next to us and she was reaching out to Edward to take his hand.

"You have every right Edward and I know it will help you to actually see that he is alive and getting better every second." Sue's voice held understanding. She was all too aware that Edward would be blaming himself for what happened to Seth and she was telling him that it was not his fault; that she gave him permission to see Seth for himself.

I watched with tears in my eyes as Sue led Edward in to see for himself that Seth was going to make it; that James' endeavour to make Edward pay had not resulted in a bad ending for any of us.

Perhaps he needed to know that, more than any of us, because regardless of his thoughtful words to Jacob before, I knew beyond a doubt that Edward would take all the blame onto himself and something major was going to have to happen to eliminate that useless emotion from his repertoire. Maybe Sue's actions were a step in the right direction and it would not be allowed to fester. I desperately hoped so.


	36. Chapter 36: Relief

**Hiya All,**

**This chapter is Edward's POV that leads up to him getting to Bella and then beyond. Just letting you know so that there is no confusion.**

**Thanks for those of you who have reviewed – I love hearing your views. Please don't feel like you can't state your opinion on something. We don't all have to agree with the same things and I don't expect it. I know that when someone questions me about a particular thing it makes me think more about it before the next chapter. That's the point I guess.**

**Hope you enjoy and because I haven't really done it too often – you would all naturally know that these characters belong to SM and I do not mean any disrespect with what I do to them. I definitely do not own them!!!**

**Cheers**

**Michelle **

Chapter Thirty Six

EPOV - Relief

At what point did I function again? At what point did I realize that I would get nothing in return if I retreated into myself and pretended that this was not happening? I am not sure. It might have been when Alice put her hand on my arm in silent support or it might have been when Emmett scrunched up the letter and threw it like a missile at the wall behind me. I had no idea really. All I was aware of was that Jasper was talking urgently to someone and I realized it was Grant. When he cursed at the phone and then stared at it uncomprehendingly, my attention was fully on him.

"What just happened," I croaked out, not sure I wanted to hear his answer.

"I don't know," Jasper answered with confusion. "Grant said that they were at a club and that he would take Bella home immediately, given the threat, but then he swore and hung up the phone without any explanation. I can't tell you any more than that."

The dread sitting in the bottom of my stomach did not ease at all with his words. Grant was obviously responding to some sort of emergency and given what we now knew, that emergency could only bode ill for Bella. I felt it in my guts that James had Bella, and the only way I was going to see her again was to fight tooth and nail against the creep. I was more than willing to do that but I couldn't do it from where I was.

"We need to get to Seattle," I was terrified of the outcome in all this but I needed to remain calm for Bella's sake.

"Alice is organizing flights now," Rosalie answered directing my attention to Alice who was on her mobile as we spoke.

The panic I was experiencing must have reached Rosalie because she grabbed my arms and placed her face directly in line with mine.

"She will be fine. Edward. Bella will not let that creep get her down. You know that right?" Rosalie's words were sincere but I couldn't help but notice the slight warble as she said what she thought I needed to hear. I didn't know what to say in return. I knew nothing of the sort.

Alice interrupted us with her organizational bossiness. "I have organised a private flight for an hour's time. Emmett and Rosalie. You go back to Edward's and get everything we need. We will meet you at the airport so that we can make sure there is no delay in getting us out of here."

On the way to the airport Jasper was constantly on the phone with men from security but he was never able to get through to the one we wanted; Grant.

"The phone seems to be constantly engaged now," Jasper said in frustration. Grant better get back to me soon or I am seriously considering firing his sorry…."

As if on cue the phone rang and I demanded Jasper put it on loud speaker so that I could hear what Grant had to say for himself. Jasper looked unsure for a moment but then relented and pushed the appropriate button.

"What the hell happened?" I rasped into the phone and Grant's clear voice came back at me.

"We have James," He stated woodenly and my moment of relief was replaced with a burning question.

"Bella? Is Bella alright?"

"Bella is on her way to the hospital Edward. I am sorry; she was hurt before I got to them but it appears to be not too serious. Seth is the problem. He has been hurt badly and I really can't tell you if he is going to make it. James cut him up pretty badly during the fight and he hasn't been conscious the whole time. Bella is with him in the ambulance."

My mind became a fuzz, yet again, and Jasper took over the conversation. James had got close enough to Bella to hurt her and he had almost killed Seth in the process. Anguish tore through my body like nothing I had ever experienced. I needed to see Bella to make sure she was ok. I needed to be there with her in case Seth was not. The ramifications of James' sick revenge had spread its tentacles to enclose even more of the people I cared about.

I tried to concentrate on the knowledge that James was now in custody and we could do something concrete to make sure he didn't threaten my family and loved ones again, but something told me that it would not be that easy. The main thing I needed was for both Bella and Seth to be ok when I finally got to them. The problem of James would have to wait until my head was clear enough to make a difference in what happened to him. I wouldn't get that until I had held Bella and knew without a doubt that she was alive and relatively unscathed.

Grant rang us back from the hospital once we had booked into our flight and were waiting for the departure time to come around. Rosalie and Emmett had now joined us and we were all silently contemplating how close Bella had come to being kidnapped or hurt badly.

"Edward. I know you want to speak to Bella but she is still with the doctor and they won't let me in to see her. The nurse said she is getting some stitches but she would be out soon."

"Grant, I need to speak to her. The plane trip will take hours and I need to hear her voice for myself."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Edward but as soon as she is out I will call you. Her mobile is back at the club. If you're not up in the air yet, you can speak to her then."

"Is her dad with her?"

"No-one is here yet. Not sure why not, considering I had Bella ring her dad straight away and I contacted Jacob myself, as soon as James was taken away."

I stopped myself from asking why Jacob was not with them through everything that had happened. I was already angry enough and didn't need to use the next few hours of flight time going over who I could blame for what had happened to Bella and Seth. It wasn't going to help anyone.

I didn't get to speak to Bella before the flight and it almost killed me to not hear that she was ok from her own mouth. The flight seemed to take forever to get to our destination and the ride to the hospital was full of nervous tension. I had no way of knowing what would greet us when we arrived. For all I knew Bella could be so angry with me, for what had happened to her, that she wouldn't let me near her, and I couldn't even think about the possibility that Seth had passed during our flight here. There were too many unknowns ahead of us and I had to brace myself for all the possibilities.

Entering the waiting room I felt the heavy weight of sadness and fear that was all so present amongst the people who sat there. Everyone looked up at our entrance; Charlie appeared agitated and angry, staring at me with unforgiving eyes, Sue looked at me blankly as if I was of no consequence to her in this moment and of course that was how it should be, Jacob's eyes only held guilt and I wondered at that briefly before my attention landed where I wanted it to be. Bella; even though she was sleeping calmly in the arms of my mother, I could see that the last few hours had been hard for her. The paleness of her face made it look drawn and it was quite obvious that she had been crying because I could still see the tracks made along her cheeks from the saltiness of her tears. She had her hand lightly placed against her side protectively and I knew that was where that bastard had cut her perfect skin. When I raised my eyes to find my mothers I knew she could see the absolute pain in them and she gave me a small smile of support. I strode over to the place where they sat and itched to get my hands on Bella; to actually feel that she was still here, that she hadn't been completely broken because of one man's monstrous plans, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt the peace she had managed to find for herself amongst all the worry and confusion. I spoke to my mother instead.

"Did Carlisle check her?"

"Not yet, Edward," My mother answered quietly.

"What do you mean not yet?" There was no one I trusted more than my father to know that Bella was in actual fact alright. My tone was more accusatory than it needed to be.

My mother frowned at me. "Edward. Your father is with Seth. He needed him more than Bella did. She has been seen by the doctors and she is fine."

"Of course," I sighed and looked over at Sue and Charlie guiltily, hoping they hadn't heard my selfish questioning. As I did my gaze fell on Grant and the anger surfaced yet again.

"What the hell are we paying you for if you can't even protect the one person we ask you to? This shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't have got anywhere near either of them."

Grant's face did not register any kind of reaction to my hissed accusation. Instead he looked me in the eye and spoke calmly.

"I take full responsibility for what happened tonight Edward but I don't think now is the time to discuss this, do you?" He looked around at the other people in the room and although I understood what he was saying I was about to retort sharply to him anyway. Jasper put a close to our discussion.

"Grant, you can come with me and explain exactly what happened. Edward you need to be thinking of other things right now." He gave a significant look towards Bella's sleeping form and then guided Grant, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett out of the room. Always the calm one, Jasper had diverted a heated argument taking place in the most inappropriate place. I was angry but I knew deep down that I was just trying to take my frustrations out on somebody; anybody and Grant was my most likely target.

I scanned Bella's body for any other kind of trauma, but could find nothing except that she was filthy and parts of her clothes were torn. "I need her mum."

Understanding my need just to be close to Bella, Esme gently disentangled herself from Bella's grip and I took her place. As soon as her head was on my chest and I had my arms around her in a protective clasp I relaxed minutely and took in her scent. It wasn't until I could actually feel her steady breathing against my side and feel her pulse where my hand met her wrist that I could fully accept that she was ok and the sensation was too much for me. I buried my head in her hair and let it shield me from everyone else in the room as I let out the emotion I had been feeling for the past few hours. Bella was alive and she was where she should be; in my arms.

Relief spanned the rest of my time in that waiting room; relief when Bella woke up and looked at me with her warm, understanding eyes and I knew she didn't blame me; relief when Carlisle walked through the doors to let us know that Seth was going to live and that his mother could go in to see him; relief when Bella demonstrated her fighting spirit and put both Jacob and I in our places when we tried to take on the guilt of tonight's happening and the final relief of having Sue Clearwater take me by the arm and drag me in to see her son, face to face so that I could determine that he was not another casualty of this ridiculous vendetta I had against me.

Here I now sat watching the monitors show the signs needed to prove that Seth was living and making progress. Sue had left me to give me privacy with her son but I still had not broached any kind of speech with him. When I felt an arm slip around my shoulders I knew it was Bella and I looked up at her in torment. She was silent for a few moments and then began to speak as if she needed to explain.

"He stopped James from taking me. I fought, Edward. I truly did but he was going to take me one way or another and if it hadn't been for Seth…." Her voice trailed off as she drew in a quiet sob. "Seth tackled him and they fought and I couldn't stop James from hurting him; I watched as he sliced Seth's side open and there was nothing I could do." The terror in her eyes from the memory cut through my very core and I shuddered with the images she was describing. I pulled her against me and we held each other as we watched the steady rise and fall of Seth's chest.

"I am never going to be able to repay him for what he did for you tonight Bella; for what he did for us. How do I thank someone for something so profound? How do I make it up to him for the pain this has caused him?"

"Seth wouldn't expect anything, Edward. I can guarantee that, but we will think of something. He will know how much we appreciate him. I promise." She squeezed my hand and I brought her tiny fist up to my mouth for a light kiss across her knuckles.

Abruptly I stood up and placed my hand on Seth's shoulder, lightly squeezing it in the hope that there would be some kind of reaction. There was none.

"Words can't even begin to tell you how I feel about what you did last night Seth, but I do know this; for the moment the best thing I can do for you is make sure James is punished for hurting the two of you," I faced Bella and her eyes grew wide with understanding. "It's time to make him pay for this. Let's go and make sure they throw away the key."

Leaving Seth's room with a purpose made me feel so much better. I was keen to get to the police station and do everything in my power to make sure that James did not get away with last nights efforts. As we reentered the waiting room Charlie was on the phone and was looking worriedly at Bella. He hung up and spoke

"That was detective Lou Parker from Seattle police department. He needs you to come down to make a statement so that they can keep James from making bail. Are you up to it, sweetheart?"

Bella nodded her head in affirmation and took a step closer to me as if my nearness would help her through reliving this nightmare again.

"I'll be right beside you, Bella. It will be fine."

"Do you think that is such a good idea Edward?" Bella's father spoke to me harshly and I knew he did not think I was completely innocent of fault. I couldn't blame him but there was no way I was going to move from Bella's side now when she needed my support the most. He was going to have to deal with that pretty quickly.

"I have every intention of making sure James pays for what happened last night Charlie. He tried to hurt the person I love the most in the world and there needs to be something done about that. Bella is not alone in this. I WILL be with her. Hopefully you can understand that; I am not going anywhere."

Charlie gave me one last glare and shrugged his shoulders. "Just make sure you don't make it any worse than it already is Edward. I will not allow my daughter to be threatened again."

Turning towards Bella I expected to see her worried frown as she watched the two of us interact with such agitation but she was not concentrating on us at all, but rather a small, black haired girl who was sitting at the other end of the waiting room. She let go of my hand and hesitantly walked over to the girl before stopping in front of her. I had no idea what she was doing so I followed her with curiosity.

"Hi. Are you ok?" Bella queried softly and the girl jumped in fright, looking at Bella with doe like eyes before recognition crossed her face.

"Bella. Oh thank goodness you're ok," the girl stood up quickly and looked like she was about to throw her arms around Bella in relief but then she sat abruptly back down in her seat as if it was a ridiculous notion. "I am sorry. I don't know what my problem is. I just felt I needed to be here to check on you; on him. I tried to go home and pretend it didn't happen but it was eating away at me so I got dressed and headed here. Bizarre I know but …well… here I am." The girl looked at Bella waiting for her to be angry or condescending about the explanation. Of course Bella was neither.

"No, not bizarre at all. Thanks for caring enough to do so. Seth has made it through and the doctors said he will make a full recovery, although he will need lots of rest."

"Oh thank god. That is fantastic news. I've been so worried about him. I couldn't get the look on his face, when I told him I saw you leaving with that creepy guy, out of my head and then to see him bleeding and knowing that it was partly my fault. Shit." She placed her head in her hands and took a deep breath. I placed my hand on Bella's shoulder, silently requesting some type of explanation about the girl in front of us who appeared to be somehow connected to last night's debacle. The young woman looked up at me then and I saw the instant recognition flood her face. Shit; that was the last thing we needed.

"Edward Cullen?" Her voice was low and nervous and I felt myself tense up because I had no idea who she was and she could easily make our life even more complicated than it currently was. Bella felt my reaction and she slid her hand into mine to help me remain calm.

"Edward, this is…..um actually we didn't go into any niceties last night……. I am terribly sorry but I don't even know your name?"

"Ellie," she muttered in embarrassment and looked between the two of us as if she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. It did a little to alleviate my concern but I was still at a loss as to why she was here.

Bella gave her a blindingly compassionate smile and my own heart swelled in response to it. Bella had to be the most giving person I knew and it made me proud to know that she was mine.

"Edward, this is Ellie. It is because of her that I was saved by Seth," My breath caught in my throat at the reminder, yet again, of why we were all here and the girl named Ellie blushed almost as readily as Bella always did. It was oddly endearing.

"James got to me outside the restrooms and Ellie here had the intuition to know that something was not right and went and let Seth know. The rest is history."

_Would it be wrong of me to pick this girl up and smother her with kisses for saving the life of the woman I loved? A resounding yes, you moron, for more than one very good reason._

I held out my hand to the girl and she nervously took it. "Thank you Ellie, for having the presence of mind to act in that situation. So many people would have just ignored what was happening and told themselves it was none of their business. We appreciate that you didn't."

Ellie's face reddened even more and Bella tactfully asked a question to take the attention away from her embarrassment.

"How did you know to get Seth?"

"Um…. I…. well I had kinda been watching him all night and …..well for a while there I thought you were his girlfriend because he kept going back to the table to check up on you……. but then he started chatting to me and well… he was just so nice," Ellie's eyes found the ground in front of her. _So much for making her feel less embarrassed Bella._

"and I knew that I had to find one of them, either Seth or the big burly guy who ended up having the gun," she gulped at that. "I couldn't find the gun guy so I told Seth. He went ballistic when he found out, before barging out of the club, and I wasn't sure I had done the right thing."

We spent the next few moments talking to Ellie. Bella was trying to convince her, with an explanation of James' agenda, that what had happened to Seth was not her fault and that now everything was going to be ok. I watched silently as the poor girl visibly relaxed as she realized that, yes Seth had been hurt but that it all could have been so much worse if she hadn't done what she had done. It seemed I owed all kinds of people for keeping Bella alive and out of harms way while I had been on the other side of the country. The guilt gnawed at me again.

"We need to get to the police station," Charlie's gruff voice splintered through my thoughts. "I think I should drive Bella, Edward and you can try and evade the press on your own time." I sighed with frustration at his words but knew he was right. It would only complicate matters if I was physically seen with Bella.

Bella was talking quietly to Ellie and I caught her last words. How did she always manage to keep her head in times of trouble.

"Ellie, Edward and I," she squeezed my hand before continuing "We don't really need any more attention at the moment so…."

Ellie held up her hands before Bella could make the request I knew was coming.

"Please Bella. I won't breath a word. In this instance I absolutely know that this is none of my business." Ellie smiled at Bella and Bella leant down to give her a quick thank you hug. Something Bella said into her ear brought a huge grin to Ellie's face.

As Charlie, Bella and I walked towards the exit of the hospital I asked Bella what she had said to warrant such happiness from Ellie. She smirked up at me. "I told her what every girl wants to hear Edward. I told her that her interest in Seth was reciprocated."

James stared at me balefully as I sat across from him. He looked a little worse for wear himself, which I thanked Seth for. Seth had obviously not gone down without putting a fair few strikes in of his own and that fact made me feel gratified in some sick sense. Charlie stood to my left, taking in every aspect of the creep who had attempted to use his daughter as a threat to me. I could see the veins on his forehead poking out as he tried to restrain himself from just flinging himself at James and causing him some type of damage. I fully understood his need. It was taking every bit of control I had, not to beat the man to a pulp. Both Charlie and I were being on our best behavior because we weren't the only ones in the room; Detective Parker had allowed this little visit against his own better judgement so he was ensuring we didn't do anything that we would later regret. Charlie might be his friend from way back but they were both cops and they had a code to follow.

Not a word had passed between any of us. I wasn't sure why I needed to see him so badly; what I could possibly say to make him stop this vengeful vendetta against me and my loved ones. I was so full of hatred and vengefulness towards this person that I didn't trust breaking the silence in case it sent me spiraling out of control and I threw caution to the wind and pummeled him like I wanted to. I remained still as a statue, forcing myself to think of Bella. She had already been through enough tonight and she certainly didn't need her boyfriend being thrown into jail because I couldn't stop myself from killing the son of a bitch.

"Did Bella give you my message," James uplifted snarly mouth needed to be punched right off his face. I clenched my fists so it wasn't me who did it. I didn't answer him.

"Ha. I will take that as a no. Not to worry. It is so much better that I can tell you myself. Something to the effect that your girlfriend is utterly delectable and the mere thought of having her alone, with the challenge of the fight I just know she is going to give me, makes me swoon in appreciation. It is almost better than knowing how much it is going to hurt YOU when I finally get to that point. Tell me, what does it feel like to hear her moan your name? How will it feel when it's me forcing your name from her throat because she is hurting so much?"

The rage that engulfed me was like nothing I had ever felt before and I felt myself close the distance between ourselves as I launched myself with superhuman speed at his body with the express intention of making him stop; making this all stop. He would not threaten Bella again; he would have to kill me first before I let him get anywhere near her again. Better still I could just kill him now. To hell with going to jail; it would be worth it just to keep Bella and the rest of my family safe.

The table and chair went skidding across the room as I felt my hands close in around his throat but it did not seem to stop his maniacal laughing in my face. I tightened my grip and hissed at him.

"You won't get the chance to be that close to her ever again, you sick fuck." My hands were now pressing so deeply into his throat that I could feel him gasping for breath, trying to draw air into his lungs.

"Edward, you need to let him go now," I tried to ignore the voice of reason, even as I acknowledged the anger that lay behind it. I had James where I wanted him. I could squeeze the life out of him and we would never have to worry about him again. A rough hand was pulling at my arms and the movement made me catch a glimpse of myself in the window behind James head. I looked like an animal; a completely enraged animal who knew no control. My eyes were narrow slits of rage and my face was suffused in an almost purple hue.

"Edward, Bella is waiting for you outside. Don't punish her anymore than she already has been."

Bella! I slowly loosened my grip, registering that I had gone way beyond any kind of sane behavior. I allowed my arms to be removed from James entirely and watched blankly as he lifted his hands to his throat to rub the red markings that I had left there. Charlie forcibly moved me to the opposite side of the room.

"You can't let him get away with that," James rasped out at the police officer who was now standing over him.

The detective shrugged his shoulders. "Get away with what? I didn't see anything out of place happen, did you Chief Swan?"

"Nothing at all Detective Parker," the anger was not far from the surface for Charlie and his words came out extremely harshly.

"In fact, all I did notice was that this scum here just threatened your daughter yet again Chief Swan. I do believe he actually stated that he was going to hurt her. Seems to me that that would warrant a no bail ruling, wouldn't you?"

James looked at Charlie in panic, finally understanding that he had chosen as his target, a police officer's daughter and that he was not going to get away with this too easily.

I felt the relief invade my body as it became apparent that these guys were going to do everything possible to ensure James did not get out of jail. Charlie walked over to James and leaned in so his face was right next to James.

"You chose the wrong man to screw with when you decided to harm my family. You won't get the opportunity to do so again. As far as I am concerned you can rot in jail. This is the end for you."

Charlie straightened himself up and motioned for me to follow him as he left the room. As soon as we were out he turned to me and spoke to me angrily.

"That had to be the single most stupid thing you could have possibly done Edward,"

I opened my mouth to protest. Surely he heard what James had been suggesting; how much he was going to hurt the girl that Charlie and I both loved beyond anything else. I never got the chance.

"But fully understandable." He added as he squeezed my shoulder and met my eyes directly so that I could see that his words were heart felt. "You've proven that you love my daughter Edward and I appreciate that devotion. Let me take care of putting James away now and you go and look after her. She has had the day from hell."

There were so many things I needed to say to him. Sorry for what had happened to Bella; let him know how much I loved her; how I wanted James to go down for this so he would leave us all alone. None of it came out though. I just looked at him steadily and then nodded my head. He told me to go to Bella.

I didn't need to be asked twice.


	37. Chapter 37: Surprises

**Our couple are getting closer – about time I know. As always a huge thank you to those of you who have left me reviews and messages – I've enjoyed reading them.**

Chapter 37

EPOV – Surprises

_I. Could. Not. Breath._

_Shit._

_When did Bella get to be so god damn sexy?_

_Strike that you idiot. She's always been incredibly sexy but….._

_Now? _

_Soaking wet_

_Hot._

_Nothing on but a towel._

_Jeez – this girl was going to be the end of me and she had absolutely no idea of her appeal._

Bella was looking at me strangely from across the room as she spoke into the phone that had been the catalyst for her getting out of the shower so quickly. I moved myself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and allowed my eyes to devour her beauty, completely ignoring the conversation that she was taking part of. At this precise moment in time all I could concentrate on was the way her long, smooth legs seemed to go on forever from underneath that extremely short towel, the drops of water that were glistening on her skin and the way she was holding the towel up across her breasts so that it didn't fall away from her and reveal too much.

_Let it fall. Please god, let it fall._

My scrutiny was making Bella blush and her darkened cheeks only added to the appeal. She stumbled over her parting words and I grinned cheekily at her.

"Um.. yeh.. sure dad. Thanks for letting me know about Seth. I need to go and get some sleep. Ok. Bye."

She ended the call with a push of the button and smiled nervously at me.

"You must have been dead to the world Edward, if you didn't hear my phone ringing."

"What? Huh. I guess I must have dozed off. Sorry." My eyes travelled down Bella's body again and when I returned them to her face she was blushing again. Adorable.

"You are amazingly beautiful Bella," I was impressed that I could make my voice sound so strong when I was feeling so weak and unable to breath properly from just looking at her. She ducked her head in embarrassment.

"Um. Thanks." Her hand tightened on the towel. "I think I will just go back in and finish my shower now"

In one swift movement I was standing before her, not ready for her to remove herself from the room so that I could no longer look. The urge to touch was too much and I put my hand out to trace from her hand up to her shoulder in a light graze. The goosebumps that made themselves known on her skin told me that Bella was as aware of me as I was of her. When I spread my fingers across Bella's collarbone, her audible gasp was a beautiful sound to my ears. I caressed the wetness of her skin there as gently as possible and Bella closed her eyes reveling in that simple touch.

I couldn't help myself. Bella was like a magnet to me and I needed to kiss her to show her how much she meant. My head dipped to lightly place kisses along her collar bone up to her ear via the tender skin of her neck. The feel of her skin against my lips sent my senses reeling; every little part of her was perfect and she had me swooning without lifting a finger. I saw that her eyes were half closed in a display of allowing herself to only feel and she quietly whimpered with need. Desire sat behind those eyes and it was my undoing. I moved slightly, moaning against her lips as she lifted her arms to bring me closer to her and I unthinkingly obliged by pressing myself into her. Her quick intake of breath alerted me to her pain and I instantly recoiled from her body when I realized I had allowed my need to hinder my common sense.

"Oh my god Bella. I can't believe I did that. Are you ok?" The shock of knowing I had just caused pain, through unintentionally touching her wound, made me choke on my words.

Bella reached for me to try and bring me back towards her. "Please don't remove yourself from me Edward. It's ok. We just need to be a little more careful, that's all."

What had I been thinking? Bella had not been asleep for over twenty four hours, James had attempted to kidnap her and she had been cut and stitched back up, she had watched as her friend fought for both of their survival and then spent hours waiting for some kind of sign that he was going to be ok. She had been interviewed by the police and she had worried over my reaction to seeing the man who had caused all of our pain. Bella didn't deserve to have me ogle her and try to push my needs onto her. My attraction to her was inappropriate at this time; she needed my love and support. I gently pulled myself away from her and lightly kissed her lips.

"Honey, you need to finish your shower and then get some rest. I wasn't thinking straight. I am so sorry."

"Don't pull away Edward. I need you. I need to feel you close to me."

"Please Bella, now is not the time for this. We shouldn't even be considering it after everything you've been through. I refuse to hurt you anymore."

"You won't hurt me. Please. You don't understand how much I want…"

The light tapping at the door interrupted Bella's words and I was never more glad of something. I knew she was about to say that she wanted us to get closer and I wouldn't be able to resist her, even though I knew now was not the time. Bella groaned and looked at me, disgruntled. She shook her head trying to think through the combination of lust and tiredness and then reluctantly stepped back into the bathroom as I made my way to the bedroom door. Angela stood there uncertainly.

"Sorry Edward. I didn't want to interrupt you but Ben and I are heading out to work now and I wanted to check that there wasn't anything else you two needed before I left."

"Nope. We both need to sleep, so besides the fact that you have so generously let us stay at your place to get some peace, there really isn't anything we need. Bella is showering at the moment so the fresh clothes you gave her are more than enough."

"Ok then. I will leave the two of you to it. I will take the phone off the hook so it won't wake you, and feel free to make yourselves at home."

"Thanks Angela. I really appreciate you letting us stay here. I don't think Bella would have been able to handle the media outside her place after everything that has happened over the past twenty four hours, and I definitely wouldn't have been able to stay with her if she had gone home."

"Anytime Edward. Tell Bella I hope she feels better after some rest. I'll probably see you after work, at the hospital. Ben and I want to visit Seth." Angela reached forward and squeezed my arm and then left me to grab her things for work. Not for the first time I thanked god that Bella had such good friends that looked out for her. It made me feel satisfied that they were becoming my friends too.

When Bella left the bathroom and made her way back into the bedroom, she was fully dressed in the pajamas Angela had loaned her and I felt the tenseness within me uncoil in relief that she wasn't going to try and seduce me with her innocence and near nakedness. I wasn't nearly strong enough to resist her if she had kept heading down that path. Her eyes met mine and I saw the slight apprehension within them and sighed. I never wanted to make her feel uncertain of me and my feelings.

"Come here, sweetheart," I held my arms out to her, where I sat on the bed. "Let me hold you so I can prove to myself that you are truly ok."

Within seconds Bella was lying within my arms and muttering incomprehensibly into my chest as I held her tightly. I tried to sooth her through my light touches against her skin, trailing my hand up and down her back. Suddenly she raised her head and looked directly at me with a burning need.

"Please don't let me go,"

"Bella, honey, its going to be ok. I will be right here with you while you sleep. I won't let you go. I promise. Just relax and try to get some rest."

She tugged at my t-shirt and remained tense.

"No Edward. Don't ever let me go. Don't let what happened today or yesterday or whenever it god damn happened, stop you from being with me. Don't. let. Me. Go."

A shot of grief ran through me as I understood that she thought I was going to break my promise to her and I was going to let what had happened with James push me away from her again.

"I'm not going anywhere Bella. There is nowhere for me, but with you. It's been taken out of my hands. I love you too much to walk away. I can't let you go."

The hands on my t-shirt relaxed and she breathed more easily, with less apprehension. "Perfect. That's all I needed to know." She rested her cheek against my chest and I placed my arms around her so that I was not touching the spot where she had been hurt. We lay there quietly enjoying that we were there for one another.

"Bella. I don't know what I would have done if he had ………"

She pressed a finger against my lips. "Shhh Edward. He didn't achieve what he wanted to and we are both here now, safe. Don't waste another minute thinking about him. I want to kiss those thoughts right out of your head but I am just so damned tired, that I can't do it." She kissed against my chest as if to make up for her words. "I will do it when I wake up." The words began to slur. "I love you ridiculously too much, you know. You are my everything"

I grinned foolishly at her words and then relaxed into the sleep that my body was begging for.

Bella was safe and she ridiculously loved me. What more could I want?

---#######----

We were walking down the corridors of the hospital yet again, after sleeping well into the afternoon. Bella was keen to see Seth and ensure that what her dad and Jacob had said, in their phonecalls, was in actual fact the truth; Seth was awake and in fairly good spirits. I guided her with a light touch against the arc of her back; not that she needed guiding but it was another excuse for me to touch her and know that she was still with me. I took every opportunity I could.

Upon entering the room it was clear that Seth was doing more than ok, even if he looked a little tired. We had expected to see Sue sitting with him and maybe Charlie but were surprised that neither of them were there. Next to his bed an animated Ellie sat and the two of them were conversing quietly whilst looking into each others eyes. When he saw Bella his face lit up and complete relief crossed it, showing that he also needed concrete evidence that all had ended up well.

"Bells. Thank goodness you are ok. I wasn't sure to believe everyone when they said you weren't too hurt. All I remember is seeing that creep, with the knife cutting into your side and thinking that I was too late to save you."

The two of them hugged each other tightly, conveying how happy they both were with the eventual outcome to this sorry saga. Bella whispered into Seth's ear and he reddened almost instantaneously. I could imagine her very heartfelt thanks had just been given and he was having a hard time accepting it. I stepped forward to shake his hand in a firm clasp.

"Seth. I am forever indebted. Anything you ever need, you have it. Just let me know what it is."

"You owe me nothing Edward. That animal was hurting my family. I was never going to sit by and watch that happen."

Bella had turned to greet Ellie with a huge smile on her face and Ellie was responding with a little embarrassment. I nodded and added my own hello.

"Ellie told me she had already met the two of you in the waiting room," Seth stated with enthusiasm. Somehow I thought this girl was going to help Seth heal a hell of a lot quicker than the doctors were expecting. I was surprised to see him so enthused after all that he had been through. "I have to tell you that when I woke up to find her sitting by my bed I thought I had died and gone to heaven" Seth was smiling cheekily at Ellie and I held in a laugh.

"You idiot," Ellie exclaimed as she shook her head and her face reddened. "On that note I think I might leave you to your friends Seth. I am really happy to know that you are doing ok."

Seth's face crumbled into disappointment when she said she was leaving. "You'll come back sometime, won't you?"

Ellie looked from Seth to Bella and I watched with interest as Bella actually winked at her. "If you would like, I could come back tomorrow for a little while."

"Aha, I really would like you to," Seth beamed at her. Nothing like wearing your heart on your sleeve there, Seth. Ellie left quietly and we returned our attention to Seth.

"Isn't she great," Seth uttered softly once she was out of our sight.

"Definitely," Bella agreed whole heartedly. "She stayed with us the whole time you were out of it in the carpark you know Seth. She really cared about what happened to you."

"Almost makes this worth it," Seth joked as he used his hand to wave at his injuries. He grimaced a little and then pushed the button next to him to administer some morphine into his drip to help ease the pain. "I couldn't believe my luck when I saw her sitting here. She seemed something special last night at the club but now I have no doubt."

We spent a few minutes with Seth before Bella suggested we leave to give him some rest. It had become apparent that Seth was wilting now that Ellie had left and he no longer needed to keep up pretenses of being strong. Bella kissed him goodbye and told him that Ben and Angela would be visiting soon. He nodded sluggishly and before we had even left the room Seth was asleep.

---####---

Earlier in the afternoon Bella had been privy to a conversation between Alice and I, whilst we got ready to go to the hospital. Alice was trying to organize what to do about all the concerts we were missing out on while we were in Seattle dealing with the fallout of James' actions and was asking for my intentions of how long we would be staying; or more to the point how long I would be staying. It only took one of us being unavailable for the concerts for there to be none at all. I hadn't really thought about it but knew Alice needed my answer. We would definitely be missing tonight's concert which would have to be cancelled at very late notice. It was something we had never done before.

"Alice I am staying here for as long as Bella needs me," Bella frowned at my words as she listened to my part of the conversation.

"Maybe a weeks worth," I uncertainly responded to Alice's question about how many more to cancel. I really didn't want to think about it. If I had my way I would cancel more than that, just so I could stay by Bella's side.

Bella had motioned to me and I asked Alice if I could ring her back. Once I hung up I looked at Bella expectantly, wondering what she wanted me for.

"Edward. If you don't do these concerts now, what will you have to do?"

"Um. Probably make them up at the end of the current tour."

"Don't do it. Get yourself back to New York and finish the concerts you need to. You all deserve a huge rest at the end of the tour and you certainly don't need to add an extra week to it just so you can stay here and babysit me,"

"It's not babysitting Bella. It's being with the woman I love so that I can support her. That means more to me than playing concerts for complete strangers."

We argued back and forth about it, both of us convinced that our way was the right way. I wanted to be here for Bella. She wanted me to leave so that at the end of the tour I would come back to her quicker. In the end it was Bella who won out because, unlike me, she thought beyond the two of us; she brought Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie into the argument and made sure I knew I wasn't being fair to them by making this choice. Deep down I knew she was right so I capitulated with the compromise that I would be staying one more whole day before I headed back to New York. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the decision but when Bella reached up and kissed me with those warm, inviting lips all worry flew from my head and I concentrated on the fact that this would bring me back to Bella sooner than later, for a longer time than just a few days.

Now that we were leaving the hospital, having determined Seth's recovery, we were back to the cloak and dagger aspect of our relationship and we needed to leave the hospital separately. Jacob came to pick up Bella and I headed back to the hotel, that the rest of my family were staying at, on my own. Bella was going to go home to check on her father and Sue before she headed over to see my family. Everyone had left her alone with me, to deal with what she had been through, but they were all keen to see her face to face to see how she was doing in reality. The small time we would have apart would give me time to organize something special for her. If I only had a day or so left before I headed back to New York I was going to make it special for her so that we left each other on a high note; not the bad memories of aggressiveness and sadness. This evening Bella would see my family and could have the rest she needed. After that she was all mine until I left for New York.

---####---

* * *

"Are you serious?" Bella said uneasily as she held up the blindfold I had just given her. "You want me to wear this? For how long?"

"Until we get there," I chuckled at her recalcitrance. Bella was sitting next to me in the car, after having Charlie drop her off to me just outside town. Surprisingly our visit had been very low key and for once we were not monitored by fans and media as we normally were. I still wasn't taking any chances so Charlie helped out by getting Bella to me safely.

"What if I promised I wouldn't open my eyes at all? Could I forgo the blindfold?" Bella begged and I shook my head.

"Nope. It's a surprise and you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from peeking. Put the blindfold on Bella. It is just you and I. You trust me don't you babe?" Leaning forward, across our seats, I placed my lips gently against the corner of her mouth and kissed her lightly. Her breath hitched and I could tell she was waiting for me to deepen the kiss but I didn't. There would be time for that later, once we got to our destination.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me and then purposefully placed the blindfold on. "I trust you." she sighed. "You better make this worth my while though. I hate being kept in the dark."

I reached out and squeezed her hand and she jumped a little with my unexpected touch. A smile played at the edges of her mouth so I knew she wasn't really angry with me. "It will be, I promise. Now just relax. We will be there before you know it."

For the duration of the drive Bella placed her hand on mine, where it sat on the gear shift, as if the touch would compensate for her lack of vision. We spoke in soft tones about a variety of subjects including her upcoming last university courses and how our tour was going, but we never touched on the subject of James or how I would be leaving the following afternoon to meet up with the others who had decided to head back to New York today. Today was all about the good things and I wanted Bella to feel relaxed and happy. By the time we arrived at our destination, half an hour later, I could tell that Bella was at complete ease and wasn't even worrying about the fact that she was blindfolded. I smiled to myself; today and tonight were going to be good for her.

When I opened up the car door and guided Bella out so that she wouldn't trip, she took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Wow, it smells so good here; so fresh and clean,"

I took my own breath and agreed with her wholeheartedly. We weren't that far out of Seattle but the air had a definite difference in it, here. I put my arm around Bella's waist and guided her over some uneven ground to get to the spot that I wanted.

"I can hear water and I can hear people Edward. No-one's looking at me are they?"

I chuckled good naturedly at the question. Bella really did hate attention and would feel that the blindfold was drawing it straight onto her. "No, hun. No-one is looking our way at all. Just a few more steps and then you can take the blindfold off."

Since it was a weekday there didn't seem to be as many people here as there probably would have been on the weekend. I was glad for that because right now I stood on the observation deck with the love of my life and for a moment it was just the two of us. I gently took the blindfold off Bella and she squinted against the sudden light in her eyes. Once she adjusted though, she looked around us and exclaimed.

"Oh Edward, it is absolutely beautiful." I watched her awed face as she took in the panoramic views of the river, falls and forests. As a backdrop a mountain range could be seen in the distance. The whole effect was of complete and utter magnificence and beauty. I knew Bella would appreciate it.

"I'd heard of Snoqualmie Falls being stunning but I have never been here," She smiled up at me happily and I felt the usual somersaults occur within my stomach, knowing that her high spirits were because of me. She tangled her fingers into my hair and pulled my head down to hers for a kiss and I was happy to oblige. When her breath hit my mouth, it was all sweetness, warmth and tenderness. There were no words to describe how much I loved this woman and whenever she kissed me I knew I was never going to be able to get enough of her.

When we broke the kiss, Bella turned back to the view and leant into my chest, sighing with contentment.

"This place is so peaceful. It makes you feel like nothing can ever touch you; that nothing ugly can ever take a hold when there is such beauty around us."

I nuzzled my face into the slim line of her neck, emotions enveloping me that Bella was having to think about ugliness at all. "We're ok now Bella. The ugliness will disappear now. We won't have to worry about him anymore."

She nodded silently and continued to take in the view. I wanted to distract her from thinking about negative things, so pointed towards the majestic old buildings, sitting adjacent to us.

"Can you imagine the views that place would have? What a beautiful hotel in the most perfect of positions," Bella enthused. "It's like something out of a fairytale."

"Well we don't have to imagine it because we have a booking there for the night," I almost laughed at the incredulous expression on her face but kept it in, smiling only. "Would you like to go and check into our room?"

"Just the two of us, in that beautiful hotel?" Bella appeared to be flabbergasted. "Oh my god Edward. I have never stayed in anything like it before. Are we seriously staying there?" She didn't wait for my answer but began pulling me towards the car. "Yes, yes. Let's go check it out right now."

Salish Lodge and Spa was extremely accommodating once we got there. I had booked the one bedroom river view suite and as soon as we walked through the door I knew I had chosen well. Bella was ecstatic as she flew around the room, looking at all it had to offer, including the fireplace and the magnificent views down the river. She looked like a little girl on Christmas morning who had just found her most wanted gift under the Christmas tree. I leant against the doorframe between the living area and the bedroom just watching her because nothing made me happier than seeing Bella so deliriously joyful.

"This place is amazing Edward. I want to tell you that you shouldn't have done this but I can't bring myself to; it is all too perfect. For once I am just going to shut up and enjoy what's on offer."

"Glad to hear it Bella. Let's enjoy the time we have together alone. It doesn't happen nearly enough."

"Agreed," Bella stated with feeling and then unthinkingly jumped up to wrap her arms around my neck forcing me backwards onto the lounge behind us. I did my best to cushion the fall but I knew the instant she did it that she was going to be hurting.

"Jesus Bella. Are you ok?" Her wide eyes and the paleness of her skin, which was all of a sudden beading with sweat, told me that she wasn't.

"Shit. I wasn't thinking," she muttered through clenched teeth.

"You need to start being more careful," I stated sternly, worried for her. "I know you keep telling me that it is only a slight graze but damn it Bella it was deep enough to get stitches. I brought you here to unwind and heal, not to pull yourself apart at the first instance."

Tears were welling in her eyes from my words. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to ruin our day."

"You haven't ruined anything. I just want you to look after yourself. You are precious to me. I don't want to see you hurt. Not for anything." I looked into her eyes so that she could get my message loud and clear. She nodded as she tried to stop the tears from falling.

"Here, let me check the cut." I gently lifted her shirt to expose the milky whiteness of her skin and the blemish on her body that was the bandage that covered her wound. I tried desperately not to allow myself to be sidetracked by the lacy midnight blue bra that was begging me to touch it and kept diligently moving towards getting the bandage off with as little discomfort as I could for Bella. When the cut was finally revealed to me it was evident that Bella had been lucky and the neat stitches had not been damaged at all. Her wound was still intact but we needed to be more careful from now on.

"It's fine," I said with relief. "Let's keep it that way, shall we Bella." I smiled up at her from my crouched position and the worried expression on her face made me want to make things better for her so I leant in and very lightly kissed just left of her cut; my forehead grazing against the cup of her bra when I did so. Bella was looking down at me with awe and I realized she was feeling the same electricity I was from that very slight touch. I took in a deep breath and concentrated on covering her cut back up with the bandage so that I couldn't allow myself to delve deeper into that attraction. When I had finished and pulled Bella's shirt back down I felt I had regained some of my control and gazed back at Bella with a crooked grin on my face to cover my awkwardness.

"So that is it from Dr Cullen, love." I needed to not think about the feel of Bella's skin against my fingers or my lips or I was going to make it very hard for that cut to heal properly. "I thought that maybe we could go into the village to get some lunch. Maybe take a stroll around the shops there. It's meant to be a pretty place."

Bella grabbed my hand as I went to push myself up from the lounge and kissed the palm of my hand with tenderness, looking up through those amazingly long eyelashes with longing. I was trying to do the right thing here and she was making it incredibly hard to keep my hands off her.

"Thank you for being so gentle and thank you for caring so much," Bella spoke softly as her eyes never left mine. "I really want you to kiss me right now, Edward."

I groaned faintly but knew I didn't have it in me to deny her. My lips descended onto Bella's and I used the tip of my tongue to trace the fullness of her upper lip before curving it downwards to continue tracing down onto her lower lip. She tasted wonderful; sweet and feminine and it made me want her more. She squirmed slightly to encourage more so I allowed my tongue to push deeper and run across the pearly smoothness of her teeth before colliding with her tongue. She instantly responded to me, nipping me lightly and then sucking gently on the same spot to take away any hurt she might have left behind. I was losing myself within her undeniable appeal and it appeared she was doing the same thing because both of our heart rates had accelerated and we were no longer being as gentle as we needed to be, in our attempts to show how much we loved the other.

"Bella, please……" I moaned against Bella's lips and she retorted without taking her lips from mine at all.

"Please what?"

"We need to stop now or I am never going to be able to stop."

"Who says we need to stop? Kissing you is incredible. I don't care if it goes on forever,"

Her words were tantalizing but couldn't be followed through on. "Hmm. I am in total agreeance Bella but the thing is when we are like this I don't register anything else but you and the feelings you induce; I won't be able to stop myself from hurting you. We. need. to. stop." The last part was wrenched out of me because Bella was teasing me with her tongue while I spoke and I was beginning to think that I was wrong in what I was saying. I pulled away from her and replaced my lips with my fingers to let her know that I wasn't rejecting her entirely; just giving us some space to control what was happening. Bella closed her eyes tightly and then smiled in frustration at me as she reopened them.

"Ok I get it," she muttered. "Lunch and shopping it is then but you owe me for stopping a perfectly good kiss, Cullen"

I half smirked and half grimaced at her. Every part of me was calling out to take Bella back into my arms and continue from where we had left off.

"Believe me when I say that I owe us both for that one Bella."


	38. Chapter 38: Controlling Desires

Chapter Thirty Eight

BPOV – Controlling Desires

Not for the first time I wondered what I had done in my lifetime to deserve the love of such an incredible man. It was way beyond my understanding that Edward could find me as appealing, as a person, as I found him. The thought that had gone on behind this gesture of him taking me away from the turmoil of the past few days was touching, and I couldn't believe that we were in this wonderful place of peace, tranquility and privacy. Alone time with Edward was to be treasured and I wanted to take advantage of every moment we had together before he jetted back to New York and I returned to my own life of routine. Life had been rough for the past few days but the moment I had woken up, in the hospital to find Edward holding me, I had known that somehow everything was going to work out. With him I felt completely safe and secure; the most natural feeling in the world.

I was taking in the surroundings of the beautiful room Edward had organised for us. Everything was so beautifully crafted and so incredibly romantic. I could imagine lying in front of the fireplace with Edward, just soaking up his presence and holding him close to me; we would have the whole night to be together and the prospect of it was exciting and heart warming. Not often enough, I got to spend the night in his arms and wake up to feeling his body pressed against mine. It was an experience I wanted to have more readily.

"This place is amazing Edward. I want to tell you that you shouldn't have done this but I can't bring myself to; it is all too perfect. For once I am just going to shut up and enjoy what's on offer."

It was entirely true. I had a huge aversion to Edward, or anyone really, spending money on me but, this once, I couldn't help but feel happy that Edward had done this very special thing for us. We were away from the media, we were not dealing with anyone but ourselves. Edward voiced the things I was thinking and it made me glad that we were on the same wave length.

"Glad to hear it Bella. Let's enjoy the time we have together alone. It doesn't happen nearly enough."

"Agreed," The overwhelming need to be close to my incredibly beautiful boyfriend overcame me and I launched myself at him without another thought, with the sole intention of holding him and kissing him in thanks. The two of us toppled down together and Edward twisted himself so that I would land less heavily than what I was destined to. The pain that went through my side reminded me of the ugliness of the past few days and it wasn't something I wanted to invade on the perfectness of right now.

"Jesus Bella. Are you ok?" Edward was gently maneuvering himself from under me and was looking at me with a face full of concern. Drat – the perfect way to ruin a great moment.

"Shoot. I wasn't thinking," I forced the words through my lips as I continued to endure the pain that was firing through my side.

Edward was berating me for not being careful and giving me reasons why he had brought us up here. I heard him through the haze of slowly dissipating hurt. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes at the thought that I was ruining everything that Edward had planned for us.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to ruin our day."

"You haven't ruined anything. I just want you to look after yourself. You are precious to me. I don't want to see you hurt. Not for anything." Edward was forcing me to look him in the eye as he gently held my face. The force of feeling I saw there made me forget about the pain for a moment and I wanted to kiss him in gratitude for caring so much.

"Here, let me check the cut." He gently lifted my shirt to find the bandage that covered my wound and very gently removed it so that he could see how the cut was looking after my thoughtless actions. Every small touch he made was like a lick of fire against my skin and not the type that had been caused by the pain of only moments before. This was full of pleasure and want of more. Edward's fingers trailing across my skin was sending messages to my brain that made me want to draw him closer and make him continue his actions indefinitely, in ways that would leave me begging for more.

"It's fine," Edward's voice cut through my thoughts and I could sense his relief. "Let's keep it that way, shall we Bella." He was crouching down next to me and smiling up at me with the most breath taking lift of his lips. When he reached forward to kiss to the side of my cut I felt the earth stop for a moment in time and held my breath. Edward's forehead lightly rubbed against my already sensitive breast and the combination of that and his lips pressed against my skin caused a huge surge of desire to race through my body. I looked down at him in amazement. How could such an innocent action make me want to have him in all kinds of inappropriate ways? I wanted Edward Cullen in a way that I had never wanted anyone and the thought was a little disarming.

It was frustrating to note that Edward did not seem to have the same reactions as I did. He was entirely focused on placing my bandage back on without hurting me and I wondered if he ever really felt the same pull towards me that I was constantly feeling towards him. When he started talking about going out for lunch and taking a stroll around shops, it took every ounce of will I had not to groan out my discord. I wanted him close by me; really close by me, not out in public where displays of affection were discouraged. I kept my thoughts to myself, however, because I didn't want to seem too needy and desperate. That was not going to stop me from at least getting one last kiss from him before we headed out. I looked up at him as I gently kissed the palm of his hand and I watched with interest as his face registered confusion. Maybe he wasn't as immune to me as he was making out right now.

I thanked him and asked for the kiss I needed. He faltered a little and the small groan that he elicited made me smile with satisfaction before my lips were being traced with the tip of his tongue, leaving a trail of fire in its path. Before long the kiss had deepened and I was no longer aware of anything else but savouring Edward and the exploration of his mouth. When he spoke I hardly heard through the haze of feeling he brought up in me, and the fact that I just wanted to love him; show how much he was adored by me.

"Bella, please……"

I half heartedly answered against his lips that had not moved away from mine. "Please what?"

"We need to stop now or I am never going to be able to stop."

"Who says we need to stop? Kissing you is incredible. I don't care if it goes on forever,"

"Hmm. I am in total agreeance Bella but the thing is when we are like this I don't register anything else but you and the feelings you induce; I won't be able to stop myself from hurting you. We. need. to. stop." I knew I was teasing him as he spoke but I couldn't help myself. I was willing to endure the pain of upsetting my cut if it meant Edward kept kissing me and maybe moving beyond that. I wasn't being entirely fair. Edward was trying to do the right thing by me and I was making life difficult for him. I closed my eyes in frustration. I was going to have to do what he was asking and stop; it didn't mean I had to like it.

"Ok I get it," I agreed. "Lunch and shopping it is then, but you owe me for stopping a perfectly good kiss, Cullen"

"Believe me when I say that I owe us both for that one Bella."

Well, at least I wasn't being entirely rejected, I thought to myself as he helped me back to my feet and we readied ourselves for lunch.

I had obviously been distracted by Edward's closeness and then him pulling away because it wasn't until we were in the car heading into the small town of Snoqualmie that it occurred to me that Edward and I were unthinkingly endeavoring to have a normal outing without the subterflage. Edward's suggestion of having lunch and doing some shopping seemed straight forward enough but it was not something we had ever done as a couple, given our circumstances.

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel and order in," I suggested nervously, once I realized our mistake.

"Why? Snoqualmie is meant to be a gorgeous little town and I thought you'd enjoy it." Edward was puzzled.

"Well, were you intending on walking ten metres in front of me while I window shopped? Are you going to sit on the opposite side of the café from me while we eat our meals alone? I'd much prefer to spend this time together as a couple, not pretending for the world that we aren't one." I couldn't help but let the frustration creep into my voice.

Understanding flowed across his face and he slowed the car to pull over.

"Oh Bella, I am sometimes so ridiculously clueless, it's not funny. We should have discussed this before heading out. My issue was James and now that he is aware of you and your importance to me, there doesn't seem to be any reason to continue pretending we aren't together." He had turned to face me and had drawn my hands into his own. I instantly felt myself relax at his touch. "but if you feel that you still want the anonymity and that you can't handle the attention that being with me entails, I totally understand and we can forget about lunch in town and go back to our room. I do want you to know this though. I am proud of you and I am proud of our relationship; I am happy for the world to know who I have chosen to be with."

I read the sincerity in his eyes and knew that Edward would do whatever I wanted. I thought about the media that had slowly disappeared from outside my unit and wondered if I was willing to open myself up to their scrutiny once again, with the news that Edward and I had been together. The answer did not take long to embed itself in my brain. I was willing to put up with the added attention if it meant Edward and I could be in public more readily together. I loved him and knew that I could not hide our relationship from the world indefinitely if I was serious about being with him. My aversion to attention was going to be sorely tested but with Edward as the reward I was keen to attempt the process.

"Lunch in Snoqualmie, it is then." I smiled at him to show that I was happy with the decision but he still felt the need to ask.

"Are you sure?"

Was I sure? I tried to be as honest as possible with both myself and with him. "Not without some reluctance, I admit, but that is only because of the attention Edward; nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Given that my boyfriend is the super hot, amazingly sexy rock star Edward Cullen, I guess I should accept the inevitable. If I want to be with you, I need to embrace the public just a little. Now seems as good a time as ever to start."

Edward beamed at me and I wasn't sure if it was from my decision or from my over the top compliments.

"Bella I promise that I will do everything in my power to make this as painless for you as possible. We can be seen together but it doesn't mean I am going to start sprouting off about our private life or yours. You will probably find that once it is out in the open anyway, they will not be as interested because it won't be any great mystery anymore, for them to manipulate."

His words made sense so I allowed myself to relax and enjoy our first foray into the public domain with my boyfriend by my side. Once he had started the car again and parked in the little village I couldn't help but grin when I noticed the extra bounce in Edward's step as he came around to open my door and helped me out of the car.

"Are we ready?" His happiness as he placed his arm around my waist, and we began to head down the main street of town, was catching.

"Absolutely Mr Cullen. Let's cause some gossip."

---#####---

Our trip into the small village had been uneventful and both of us had enjoyed the experience immensely. Besides a few sidelong glances no one approached us and we were left to do what we wanted, which was just enjoy each others company as we ate and then shopped. By the end of our little excursion we had forgotten that there was anything different about us being seen in public and we were acting like two people who were experiencing the heady throes of first love. It was exhilarating. We joked with one another and with the people we spoke to in shops; we brought little trinkets for the people we loved just for the sake of doing so and we leant towards one another over lunch as if it was the most natural thing to do in a café of people we didn't know.

When we returned to the hotel Edward had another surprise waiting for me and he led me down to the Beauty and Well Being spa that the lodge was famous for. He was keen to ensure that this little break of ours was all about relaxation and he admitted that even though he couldn't arrange a massage for me, as he had for himself, because of my slight injuries, he had thought I would enjoy a bit of a pampering this afternoon. Never being one for going to beauticians and the like, I found it hard to imagine that this would be something I would enjoy but the look of pride on Edward's face for having thought of this activity made me accept it without comment. During the next two hours, I wondered why I had ever thought that this was not a good idea. Having a hair bath and head massage was one of the most dreamy things I had ever encountered and the fact that Edward was lying, completely relaxed, only a few feet away from me having his own body massage made the whole afternoon feel intimate and remarkably refreshing. When an hour had gone by and Edward's massage had been completed and he was readying himself to leave I almost groaned aloud to know that this was going to finish so soon. I went to stand up as the woman put the final touches on blow drying my hair but Edward was smirking at me with a glint in his eyes.

"Where do you think you're going, Miss Swan?"

"With you of course," I stated, completely confused as to why he was asking me such an inane question.

"Uh uh. You are staying right here. Your afternoon hasn't finished yet. Kate, here, has yet to complete her pampering while I go upstairs to organize dinner," he reached down to lightly kiss my forehead and then thought about it again and let me feel his lips against my own. " I will see you in a little while, sweetheart."

During the next hour, Kate gave me a facial and placed a minimal amount of makeup on my face which I was very glad for. The end result was that I felt completely indulged and yet completely satisfied. I couldn't help but feel relaxed when I had someone gently massaging my scalp, playing with my hair and rubbing all kinds of delightfully smelling ointments onto my face. I made a deal with myself that I would not talk myself out of this kind of thing again; at least every now and again anyway.

When I went to put my clothes back on I was surprised to find Kate smiling at me as she handed me a beautiful blue silk dress.

"Mr Cullen requested that you put this on for dinner. He told me to let you know that it was Alice's contribution to your day of pampering and he hoped you wouldn't mind." I could tell by the look on Kate's face that she was finding all of this very romantic and was probably wishing that our roles were reversed. I had to admit that I was feeling like a princess right about now so I returned her smile and thanked her for everything she had done for me.

"My pleasure Bella. You have a lovely meal." She winked at me and then left to give me some privacy to get changed. When I slid the dress over my head it felt exquisite against my body due to its softness and I noted with satisfaction that it clung to me in all the right places so that even I had to acknowledge that the dress was perfect for me. A small box was left in the changeroom and when I peeked inside I found a pair of low heels that matched perfectly with the dress. How on earth had Edward and Alice managed to do all of this in secret in the short time they had had the previous evening? They astounded me with their persistence in making me feel special. I slipped the shoes on and made my way out of the room only to find Edward standing outside waiting for me. His eyes slowly swept over me and it was if he was physically caressing me as they did so. I felt the inevitable rise of redness to my face because my thoughts became confused with the knowledge that he was admiring me and definitely liking what he saw.

"As always you look breath taking Bella. Remind me to thank my sister for her impeccable taste and ability to highlight your natural beauty." I blushed at his compliment and went to stand in the circle of his arms. He looked pretty damn fine himself and I let him know that, in no uncertain terms. He smiled at my words and kissed me with tenderness.

"Shall we take this to a more private place, sweetheart."

"Yes please," I breathed, relishing the thought of being alone with him before dinner. I imagined he had organized for us to dine in the lodge's restaurant and as much as I was looking forward to a wonderful meal cooked by an internationally known chef, I was looking even more forward to my time with Edward, where it was just the two of us.

We strolled contently up to our suite and as soon as Edward opened the door, I saw that my assumptions had been way off base. The room was lit up with the warm light of candles and the setting sun was shining its last rays through the large windows of the apartment. Right next to the windows a table had been set up with silverware and wine glasses and a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh," I had no words to describe the surrealism of that moment.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked anxiously. "You don't mind if we eat here tonight; just the two of us?"

I carefully lifted my arms up to wrap them around his neck and began to rain grateful kisses on his face which made him chuckle in response. "No I don't mind Edward. This is the most romantic and thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me."

We walked over to the table and he held my seat out so I could sit. Besides the fact that we were completely alone we could have been sitting in a restaurant the way everything had been set up. There was a menu of the foods we would be consuming tonight and the selection was amazingly exotic and mouth watering. We started off with a Rocks Trio of Cheeses and I was in heaven with the subtle tastes that melted on my tongue.

"Hmmm That was delicious," I enthused as Edward sat across me beaming.

"I love a girl who knows how to eat," he quipped with a cheeky grin and I laughed happily back at him.

We continued the meal in high spirits, purely enjoying each others company and the amazing food that was served to us at intervals throughout the night. Edward had ordered champagne for us and the bubbles in it tickled my nose and made me even more relaxed than I had been before the meal. As always our conversation flowed naturally and we learnt new things about each other. We were both careful to skirt around the subject of James because tonight was all about us and the good things we shared.

On completing the most scrumptious dessert I had ever tasted, called the Chocolatier's Palate, I sat back happily sated and watched the flicker of light make tantalizing patterns across Edward's face. He was such a strikingly handsome person and when he was happy, as he clearly was now, his facial expressions made him downright appealing as all hell. I reached across to take his hand and intertwined my fingers with his.

"This has all been perfect Edward. Thank you. It was just what the doctor ordered after everything we've been through,"

A quick shadow crossed his face but I wasn't going to allow him to dwell on the negatives so I stood and without letting go of his hand I moved so that I was sitting in his lap and his hand was against my heart.

"I love you, you know. The best part of all this, is that I am with you." My words couldn't be any more honest. I could be anywhere right now and as long as I was with him I would be happy.

"I know Bella and I completely and utterly love you too," Edward spoke with his own sincerity and I sighed as I allowed my head to rest against his shoulder, entirely at peace with my world right now. Edward stood up and kept his hold of me so that he could take me over to the fireplace where a fire had been started hours before. He gently placed me on the couch as I giggled lightly. He left me for a moment but returned with our glasses and the bottle of champagne. Once he had filled both our glasses and had made himself comfortable, next to me, we made a toast.

"To us," Edward stated softly "and all the incredible times we are going to have together."

"To us."

We were quiet after that, sipping our wine and watching the mesmerizing dance of the fire while Edward traced circles of feeling onto the skin of my shoulder. When I couldn't take it anymore I put my glass down and wrapped my fingers into his hair so that I could pull his lips down to mine and enjoy his company more fully. Edward did not falter and allowed me to play with the warm recesses of his mouth to my hearts content. We took our time with that exploration, clearly wanting to relish the feeling of love, we had for one another. Our lips brushed against each others; our tongues danced with one another and our bodies inadvertently pressed closer. I opened my eyes to find that Edward was looking back at me with an intensity that caught me unaware. My heart skipped a beat as I saw the joy and passion that flared in his eyes and it made my breath gasp and catch in awe.

"Oh god, Bella. How can you be all mine?" he took his lips away from me to mumble into my ear and the feel of his breath against my neck, made me tighten my grip on him even more.

"Easily," I responded as we reconnected our lips. I closed my eyes again and let myself savour his taste. This was so much better than any fine wine or champagne he could serve me. The hand that I had been using to tenderly caress his cheek, moved down over his shoulders and around to the hard smoothness of his back. I could feel his muscles, under the thin material of his shirt, involuntarily clench from my touch and the action made me giddy with longing. Edward was built perfectly, all hard and muscular and strong and the thought of tracing my hands over every part of him suddenly invaded my mind and made me deepen our kiss in urgency. Edward's response was to move one hand down to my waist so that he could pull me closer to his own hips and with the other hand run his fingers against the soft material of my dress where it met the bare skin of my cleavage. The roughness of his calloused guitar finger tips grazing between my breasts elicited a soft groan from my mouth and I wanted him to go further. I needed him to touch all of me.

But instead of Edward continuing his very welcome assault on my body, he began to slowly, ever so slowly, pull away from me, all the while trying to control his breathing as he looked at me with those emerald eyes that were full of desire and indecision. I tried to pull him back into my grasp, to take back what we had just been experiencing together, but he remained staunch in his gentle removal. His hands were now off my body but were against both sides of my face and he was appealing for my understanding.

"Please Bella. You don't know what you're doing to me."

"Hopefully the same thing you're doing to me Edward." I twisted my face a little so that I could kiss the hand that was resting on my cheek and his quick intake of breath told me that he was still entirely worked up from our previous kisses, even if he was trying to put distance between us now. At least I had that little comfort.

"Don't make me do this Bella. I am trying to do the right thing here. Us being together like this should be special, it should be when…….."

"Tonight has been special, Edward. How could anything be more special than what you've done for me today. It would be perfect timing." My attempt to not sound like a ten year old girl who was not getting her own way almost worked; but not quite.

"I didn't bring you here to seduce you Bella," He smiled wryly and continued "or have you seduce me. You've been through a traumatic experience and you're hurt. Now is not the time to follow through on where we were just heading." He stepped away from me and I felt like a part of me had been ripped off with his distance.

"I'm fine. It would be fine." Again with the pleading voice.

"Bella, please. I am begging you to let me do the right thing," When I looked at his face I recognised that it would not be hard for me to convince him otherwise but he would not thank me for it tomorrow. Was I willing to make him do something that he obviously thought was wrong, for whatever reason? Did I want to face his remorse in the morning that we had done something he did not wholeheartedly want to do? I couldn't believe it had come to this. I was the virgin in this relationship and should be the one feeling confused about what we were doing and how it would turn out, not him. Regardless, of all that though, I knew I would not pressure him to be with me if he wasn't a hundred percent sure. I would give him the space he was requesting.

I took a step towards him and placed my arms around him to rest my head against his chest. As I did so I felt the thunder of his heart against the side of my face and it warmed my own heart to know that he was going against what his body wanted as well. Edward wanted me; he just wasn't willing to follow through on that for the moment. I could deal with that as long as at some point he succumbed to what we both needed.

Edward breathed an apology into my hair and it made me see that this was not the way I wanted this perfect day to end. I forced a huge smile on my face and showed him, that regardless of what just happened, I was still completely happy to be with him in this wonderful place.

"Give me a moment, babe and we can snuggle in front of the fire," I promised as I headed towards the bathroom to gain back some of my control. I heard the rattle of plates as I took my time to splash water on my face and tried to get myself back to a space where I wasn't going to try and jump all over Edward to have my way with him. I fully intended to behave myself for the rest of the night and just enjoy his closeness. It wouldn't be easy, considering his innate appeal, but I was determined.

On returning to the lounge area and the welcoming fireplace I noted that all the dishes we had used earlier had disappeared and so had Edward. I scanned the room nervously, hoping that he had not been more upset than I had imagined but a small movement caught my eye outside on the balcony and I let out a whoosh of air. Edward quickly stepped back into the room and closed the door behind him so that the cool night air didn't invade the warmth of our room. He came straight to me and held my hand, leading me back to the fire and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I am truly sorry Bella. I didn't mean for…."

My fingers were on his lips before he could say anything else. "Let's just enjoy now, Edward. It's perfect that we are here together and that you are holding me. Forget about the other stuff. You do intend on not letting go of me all night, right?"

"There is no two ways about that, Bella."

"Well that is more than enough," I stated firmly as I cuddled into his body and soothed myself with the sound of his breathing. Edward took a great breath of air and then calmly expelled it before answering.

"Yes, more than enough, for now anyway," the edge to his voice was not lost on me. Edward was experiencing difficulty with this as well.

I fervently thanked him silently for those last words. I was hoping he wouldn't make me wait too long.


	39. Chapter 39:Being There

**I know I have been posting quite quickly but after the next chapter I will probably be posting roughly every week instead. Just wanted to warn you so you weren't expecting more. For those of you who are worried about Edward's intentions I hope that this chapter gives you a bit more insight into how he feels about Bella. **

**As always I want to thank you for your reviews – they really do make my day and I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter Thirty Nine

EPOV – Being there

Bella was going to be the end of me. I was without a doubt going to combust with need because that girl had me so knotted up with indecision I was finding it hard to know within myself what was the right thing to do. She seemed to have no such concerns and that was what was making it so difficult for me. Why was I trying so hard to do the right thing by her when she was making it obvious that she just wanted to give in to the need and feelings that enveloped us when we were together, even if she would regret it in the morning? That was the answer; the thought of doing something to Bella that would make her look at me, or worse herself, with distaste after the fact, was what was keeping me from taking what she offered and saying what the hell with it. I would never, ever dream of hurting her in that way so I very carefully forced myself to be the gentleman and not allow my natural instincts to take over.

I was going to have to get some sleep on the plane on the way back to New York because god only knew I didn't get any last night. After the awkwardness of me rejecting Bella and putting a stop to our respective amorous advances, we had held each other until Bella had fallen asleep in my lap. I had taken her to the huge bed and made sure she was comfortable. I hesitated before I got in with her but a promise was a promise and I had told her I would hold her all night. Surely if I had the strength to deny the passion that had raced through both of us while she was awake and showing me her willingness, I could cope with having her asleep beside me without the temptation. Nothing was further from the truth; Bella was just as appealing asleep with her warmth and scent pressing into my senses, as she was awake and needy. Needless to say I was not at my most comfortable for the entire night; even though I would never exchange places to be elsewhere. I loved Bella and I would endure whatever it took to keep her happy within herself. That included keeping my most basic instincts at bay to make sure that her sexual innocence was not taken away in the heat of the moment, when it was obvious she had been keeping it for a very particular reason.

Since sleep was not coming to me easily, and it was almost a reasonable hour of the morning, I carefully removed myself from Bella's grip and then the bed so that she remained undisturbed, besides a slight sigh escaping her lips as she got herself comfortable again. If I wasn't sleeping I might as well do something constructive and so I headed downstairs to the lobby to arrange a picnic breakfast for the two of us to have when Bella eventually woke up. I would be leaving today to get back to the tour and lunch would be out of the question so a good breakfast would have to be it.

When I returned to the room Bella was awake and standing at the windows watching the light of the rising sun hit the mountains and the river below us. She turned as she heard me come in and the beautiful smile of welcome she gave me almost had me rushing over to her to crush her mouth against mine.

"Good morning, babe. I thought you would sleep a little longer. I put the basket of goodies down and loped across the room to take her into my arms and place a light kiss on her forehead.

"I felt you leave," she spoke into my chest as she placed her own arms around my waist in a tight grip of her own. She motioned towards the windows. "This place really is something special Edward. Look at the peace out there."

"Well get yourself into some warm clothes Bella, because we are heading out there for breakfast. It might not be our meadow but it is the next best thing and you and I seem to have a thing for early morning breakfasts out in nature," I grinned at her and she squeezed me before letting go and excitedly heading in to change.

The morning passed way too swiftly for my liking. Breakfast was reminiscent of our breakfast back in Forks where the two of us had declared our love for one another and the atmosphere was just as comfortable and romantic as back then too. Nothing made me happier than seeing Bella enjoying herself with a glint in her eyes to let me know that I was loved and very much wanted by her. What marred the morning was the knowledge that within hours I would be taking myself off to another city and leaving Bella yet again. It did not sit right with me to be leaving like this after everything that had happened with James. When I voiced my worries Bella told me that I needed to forget about him and concentrate on the tour so that I could come back to her on a slightly more permanent basis. That was definitely something to look forward to.

The ride to the airport was much more subdued than our trip out to the falls. Bella would not let go of my hand as we drove and the pinched look on her face told me that she was dreading the next goodbye as much as I was, even if she wasn't going to outright say it. I resented my job at this moment, knowing that I could not be with her through this time the way I should be. It made me feel a little better to know that Charlie had taken leave from his work to stay with Bella, both for her and for his fiancé who wanted to be close to Seth during his recovery, but it also made me feel that I should have fought harder with Alice to get out of our tour and just be where I wanted to be the most – with Bella, making sure that she was ok.

"You know you are doing the right thing," Bella spoke softly and looked at me earnestly. How did she know how badly I was beating myself up right now about leaving her like this? "I can tell what you're doing Edward Cullen, inside that head of yours, and I can also tell you that you are going where you need to be, regardless of how we feel about the distance. Going now means you will be back sooner, after you have taken care of your responsibilities. My dad will be here to make sure James gets what he deserves and he can't hurt us again. I won't be alone at the apartment. Seth is going to be ok and he will return home in a couple of weeks and I will be too busy with uni to even worry about what you're doing on the other side of the country; so relax. Everything is going to be more than alright and we have our times together to look forward to."

I deliberately relaxed my shoulders to relieve the tension and was rewarded with a genuine smile from Bella. She was right and if she was able to be so strong about my absences, then I could be too. I needed to stop acting like a sap every time we had to part from one another. My job meant it would happen a fair bit and that was what I had chosen as my career, so I had to deal. I couldn't help the thought, though, that right now I wish I had chosen differently in preparation for the unknown relationship I was to eventually have with Bella. I cast the thought away; it was useless to think like that and got us nowhere. I was who I was. I had made my choices and realistically if I hadn't chosen this life I might never have even met Bella. That speculation made me queasy and I forced myself to stop thinking at all.

The airport was its usual chaotic self and when I pulled up, I searched our surroundings carefully to determine if there was media present that would halt our hopes of having Bella come in to say goodbye properly. There didn't appear to be, which made sense since they really wouldn't have any idea that I was flying out today. You never could be entirely sure though, so I enjoyed the relief and deftly placed my suitcase in one hand and held Bella under my other arm so that I could make my way to the booking counter, with my girlfriend as close as possible. I hoped against hope that today was not the day we were outed as a couple, when I was leaving and she would be left to face the media frenzy on her own as I jetted off to New York, safely esconded in my plane seat. Luck held for us and nothing too much happened, except some inquisitive glances from the general public that basically wondered if it was actually me and whether they should approach to ask or not. Something about the way Bella and I were wrapped around one another must have told them to leave us alone because we weren't approached at all, thank goodness.

Saying goodbye to Bella was, as usual, a very difficult thing to do and I wondered how often I would be able to do it before my will collapsed and I found ways of not leaving her at all. Today was not that day though and I was going to leave her with good thoughts, not negativity, so I held her and made promises to see her soon and to be thinking of her every moment of the day. She chuckled at that as she brought her lips up to demand a kiss that I was more than willing to give. We held each other tightly and I was content in that moment just to take in her scent and envelope her in all the love I felt for her. Before I knew it, we were reluctantly pulling apart and I was waving at her as I walked through the gate to find my plane. The last image of Bella I had was of her straightened shoulders and the huge smile on her face as she blew one last kiss in my direction. By god that woman was beautiful and now I would be counting down the days and hours until I got to hold her again.

Who said being a rockstar was the bees knees?

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this Edward?" Rosalie looked between Alice and myself as she easily knotted the tie around my neck so that it was ready for when I needed it later. "You are going to have to deal with the press, there is no question about it and you're opening yourself, and Bella, up to a whole heap of attention."

"She is not going through this on her own Rose. I know it's a little over the top flying there and back in one day but Bella needs me, even though she is saying I don't need to be there, and there is no way I am going to sit here and wait for news. No way am I going to let that bastardd sit in the same room as her, handcuffed or not, to cause her and Seth grief, without being there for support."

Rosalie sighed because she knew I wouldn't change my mind and even in some ways agreed with what I was doing.

Alice spoke and it instantly had my attention. "She definitely will need you,"

"What? Did you see something? Alice tell me what happens. Is she going to be ok because if James gets at her again I swear I am going to literally kill him…."

"Hey steady on Edward. I just see her kind of scared and agitated, not in any kind of danger. As you said yourself, James will be handcuffed. The most he can do is intimidate her and I know that in that case I would want my boyfriend with me, so I am sure she feels the same way. That's why she needs you Edward. Calm down."

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. It had been Jacob who had contacted me to let me know about the pre trial hearing for James, not Bella, and that upset me more than a little. When I had spoken to her about it she had told me she knew I would want to fly over for it and that I shouldn't be made to do that for something that would be over within a short time. It was a waste of my time and my money and could result in even more loss of privacy for me. Didn't she realize yet that as far as I was concerned she came ahead of anything else and I wanted to be the one to support her? I didn't care about the time or money; I only cared about her feeling safe and unintimidated. If me being there would help her with that, I was there, regardless of her determination to not involve me. The media could have a field day with me. I didn't care. They had already picked up on my involvement in this case against James and would be at the court regardless of whether I turned up or not. Bella was going to have to deal with them and I would prefer, again, for her to do it with me by her side, not alone and confused. So the crux of it was I would fly to Seattle for the hearing. I would sit next to my girlfriend to ensure she felt loved and safe. I would stare down that ass hole to let him know that he couldn't touch us again. I would help her weave through the maze of media that she would no doubt have to deal with. I would hold her so that she knew she was my world and then I would fly back to meet my obligations in performing. Nothing or no one was going to stop me.

By the time I got to the court rooms, everyone was already inside and I cursed the slight delay in my flight that had resulted in me not seeing Bella before she went in to face the dip shit. As I slipped into a seat, that Jacob quickly vacated for me so that I could be closest to Bella, I noted that James was sitting across from us and was staring at Bella with a malicious glare. Bella was distracted, trying to look anywhere else but at him and as I took hold of her hand I felt her uncontrollable shaking and squeezed her in comfort. She looked up at me and her face lit up in relief and she instantly relaxed her whole stance. That moment there told me that I had done the right thing in being here. Bella felt stronger with me here and that's all I had hoped for.

The pre trial went by in a blur of legal terms and the judge determining that the Seattle police had enough evidence to force James to stand trial. Charlie, Sue, Jacob, Seth, Bella and myself all let out a mass sigh of relief as the judge put into place that James would remain in jail until the hearing due to the high likelihood of him trying to harm the victims once again. None of us had had to speak and I was glad for Bella that her victim's impact statement, along with Seth's, had been enough to keep James behind bars. I knew that I would be subpoenaed for the court case but I had a few weeks to prepare for that so overall I was happy with the outcome. I wished I could do something to stop Bella from having to face the trauma of testifying but I couldn't and I knew she would be strong enough, when the time came, to do what she needed and then move on with our James free life.

Bella turned her face into my chest as the police forced James to stand and leave the court. His antagonism towards me was quite evident as he stared at me and I returned his glare with my own narrowed eyes over the top of Bella's head, whilst I held on to Bella and whispered soothing words into her ears. Once he had left I relaxed and spoke to the rest of our little group who were all quietly celebrating the first step in making James pay for his crime against Bella and Seth.

"How are you feeling sweetheart," I questioned Bella as the conversation continued around us. She smirked up at me and I squeezed her even tighter.

"I know I told you that you didn't need to be here but Edward I am so glad you were. I didn't realize how much he would affect me, seeing him in the flesh again looking at me like he wanted to kill me. He really is evil." She shuddered and reached up to place her hands around my neck. "I am so sorry that you have had to put up with him all these years Edward. It makes me ill to even think about it."

"Well he is going to get his just desserts now Bella so we won't have to worry about him," I angled my hand up so that I could sooth the lines from her forehead where she was frowning in concern. "But what I need to know Bella is how you want to handle the press outside? We can go out separately but we will both still be hounded or we can go out together and show a united front. It's up to you."

I waited for her to make her decision and thought about how much she had already had to endure as far as the media were concerned, since I last saw her when I left the airport three weeks ago. This was the first time we had been together but still the media had found out about us thanks to a happy snapper at the airport, and of course the small reprieve Bella had had from the media, previously, had disappeared and she now had constant questions being thrown at her again about her relationship with me. I had told her over the phone just to ignore them and I had tried to deal with the rumours by admitting in an interview that Bella and I were seeing each other but it was private and we wanted it to remain that way. The frenzy had kind of died down but Bella had still had to deal with attention that was beyond her comfort levels, and then the trial hearing had come up making sure she and I were smack in the middle of the limelight once more.

Bella's uncertain whisper alerted me back to the present. "Together please. I would much prefer handling their scrutiny with you by my side."

"Whatever you want Babe. I will make a short comment to hopefully keep them off you back and then you know I have to get back to the airport, don't you? I wish I could stay a bit longer but I am only just going to make it back as it is. You understand that don't you?"

She nodded her head. " I told you, you shouldn't have come, I could have…."

"Bella, you just finished telling me that you were glad I was here so you can't renege on that. I wanted to be here with you and that is all there is to it." I held her chin up so she could see my face. "Now kiss me before we go out and greet the masses. It has been way too long."

When Bella kissed me I forgot where we were and why we were here. I just felt the outpouring of love and her sweet, sweet taste as she mingled her breath with mine and took my lips and tongue into her mouth with such tenderness. We kissed for what seemed like forever before a soft coughing brought us back to reality and I was kind of embarrassed to see Charlie watching us with his own look of embarrassment. I leant down to Bella's ear and whispered. "That was more than worth it, love." and her answering smile brought with a surge of happiness on my part. There was no doubt about it; Bella loved me as much as I loved her and there wasn't a better feeling in the world.

The six of us left the court house together and were instantly bombarded with questions.

"_Are you happy with the judge's decision?"_

"_Are the two of you in a serious relationship"_

"_How long have you been together?"_

"_Why did you originally deny being involved with Ms Swan, Edward?"_

"_Is James an ex boyfriend who is unhappy with the two of you dating?"_

"_Did your relationship with a rocksta,r such as Edward, make you a target Bella."_

The list went on and on and each question seemed to get more personal and inappropriate as they did. I was used to this kind of circus but Bella wasn't and it angered me to feel her trembling against my side as I tried to fight our way through the crowd to get her to her father's car. After another ridiculous question I stopped short and Bella almost tripped not expecting me to do so. I steadied her and then spoke clearly for the people who were milling around us with their microphones pushed towards us.

"Bella and I are extremely relieved to have the judge make the decision he did but we can not make any further statements on that since the case will soon be in court. As for our relationship, all you need to know is that I am very much in love with my girlfriend and our personal life is exactly that – personal. We will not be answering any questions about it except to say we are very happy together. Thank you."

I started moving again and ensured that Bella was safely placed into the car before I leant down and whispered to her. "I love you, Bella. Everything is about you now. I promise." Without waiting for her to answer I closed the door securely and turned back towards the journalists but didn't speak as I headed towards my own rented car. Once inside I took a moment to let my breath and tension escape before my phone beeped with a message from Bella.

"_As do I and as you are."_

I grinned like a Cheshire cat and shook my head to myself. All it took for me to be happy was a few moments with my girl and she made me realize that nothing was more perfect than being in a relationship with her. I had it bad. Really, really bad ……….and I'd have it no other way!


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

BPOV – Love you like that

The headline screamed at me and the photo made me want to be physically ill. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and I was not able to fill my lungs with the air I needed to breath. I sat forlornly on my couch alone, staring at the cause of my torture, willing Edward to ring and tell me that it was all lies; that he was not in some secret rendezvous with the beautiful girl who was in his arms on the cover of the magazine; that he had not asked someone else to marry him; that he had not got sick of our long absences from one another and chosen a more suitable person to be with – someone more in line with his own world.

I studied the photo again and realized it was the picture that was causing the most hurt; not the ludicrous suggestion that Edward had asked someone else to be his wife. In the photo he was holding the girl with absolute delight in his face and was whispering something into her ear that was causing a matching expression of happiness on hers. In the inset there was a box which had a close up of the huge diamond ring she had on her finger. Again I cowered away from that thought. There was no way he would do that but the photo; well the photo most definitely showed Edward way too close to the girl named Tanya and it was an image I could not get out of my head.

When the phone finally rang, I was almost afraid to answer it. I did not want him to tell me, that for once the media had reported a truth about him and that he was sorry I had had to find out that way; that he had decided to get back with the girl I only knew through Alice's description as an old girlfriend. I reached for the phone and then stopped myself from picking it up. I wasn't ready to hear his voice yet. I needed to compose myself before dealing with any further pain.

The phone kept ringing and I finally relented and picked it up. I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"Bella, Bella is that you?" Edward's voice sounded panicked through the fuzziness of my brain. "Bella, talk to me please."

"I'm here Edward," even to my own ears my voice sounded dull and lifeless. He swore on the other side of the line.

"Bella, Laurent has just brought a magazine into us showing that I am engaged. Baby, you have to know that that is not true. Of course it's an out and out lie. I wanted to let you know that it had been published before you saw it in the shops and started being questioned," Edward paused for my response but I still was not speaking. He sounded resigned. "You've already seen it, haven't you?"

"Aha. I have it right here in my hands." My words were so soft I wondered if he had even heard them.

"Shit Bella, why would you buy that crap? You couldn't possibly think that I would go and get engaged to someone else, not after everything we've been through over the past few months."

I shook my head as if to wipe the cobwebs away from my head. Of course I knew he wasn't engaged. Edward would never do that to anyone; he would never do that to me. "I would assume that you would have let me know if you intended on marrying someone else Edward. I imagine that the engagement ring on her finger came from someone else then?"

"Of course, Bella." He was starting to sound a little more relaxed knowing that I didn't believe the lies that had been printed. "Bella I am so sorry. I know it must have been a shock for you to have seen that and to read what was printed but please believe me when I say that Tanya and I just friends, a bit like you and Jacob really."

That stung and I unconsciously hit back. "I guess the difference would be that Jacob and I never slept together and you and Tanya did,"

"What? Where on earth did that come from?" If I had have been able to see him I would have been looking at his furrowed forehead showing me his concern. I didn't want to think about that. I wanted to hold onto my anger; the anger with the people who wrote this garbage for making me doubt my man; anger with Edward for not wanting me the way I needed and anger at me for allowing myself to get caught up in all this crap.

"Well you can't deny it Edward. You and Tanya were an item at one stage and you must have slept with her. I would say that that makes things a lot different than what Jake and I have."

Edward was stunned by my outburst. "Well yes we did sleep together but that was a long time ago. That has nothing to do with now; that has nothing to do with us."

I could feel myself getting more agitated as I imagined him kissing her; of them being intimate in a way that he had never been willing to do with me. I knew I was about to cross the line but I couldn't help myself. All the waiting to be by his side, all the longing to want to hold him and not let go; the need to keep him near when he was so far away for so much time got to me, so I did it anyway. I said the words.

"Well the photo shows that the two of you are on intimate terms again. You look extremely happy Edward."

His voice was like ice. "You can not be accusing me of cheating on you Bella?"

"Why not? You're always away and when we are together we're certainly not sleeping together so you must have needs to be met. I can't really blame you if you are getting it somewhere else, can I? Who better to give it to you than someone you've already slept with? Someone who is more fitting into your world. Someone that you've just had your photo taken with looking like you are both deliriously happy."

The silence stretched out into an endless wave of nothingness. When he finally broke it I had never heard him so controlled; so lifeless. "You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That. To. Me. Bella." and then the line went dead. He had hung up on me.

I seethed for moments more and then began to realize the extent of the insult I had just laid on him due to my own insecurities and pain. I couldn't leave it like that. I needed to apologise to him before this got out of hand. I rang his mobile and he didn't answer. I kept trying in a sort of desperation. What on earth had I been thinking to be so nasty; to be so needy? He was never going to forgive me for what I had said. The phone continuously rang out. I tried the hotel they were staying at and when I finally got through it was Alice I got to speak to.

"Hi Bella," Alice sounded cheery which was in direct conflict with what had happened over half an hour ago between her brother and I. She must not know what was going on. "How are uni classes going?"

"Um fine Alice. Don't mean to be rude but is Edward there please?"

"Actually I saw him leave ages ago. Looked like he was furious but he didn't want to speak to us so I left him alone. I am not sure if he has spoken to you yet but Laurent had shown us a magazine that reported the most ridiculous lies about Edward and Tanya. I wouldn't be surprised if he has gone down to have a go at the publishers involved. I imagine we will be contacting our lawyers about this one. When are they going to realize that those kind of stories are only going to hurt innocent people. Lucky for Edward you're an amazingly understanding person about these kinds of things. I am not so sure how Tanya's fiancé is going to react though."

I was listening to Alice's words and the guilt was causing bile to rise in my throat. What had possessed me to go nuts over this particular story? Alice was right; normally I was understanding and didn't let any of the lies printed about Edward and the others get to me. Why was it different this time?

"Hopefully he will realize that it was some persons attempt to sell a story," I responded guiltily to Alice, not wanting her to know how much I had just hurt her brother with my own words. "Could you please let Edward know that I rang and that I don't care what time he gets in that I want him to ring me back."

"Sure. Is everything alright Bella? Please don't let the media get to you. Edward would never do anything to hurt you,"

"I'm fine Alice. Please promise me you will give him that message though. It is really important."

Once our conversation had finished I paced around the apartment, completely at a loss as to what I should do. Edward had disappeared and was not answering any of my calls. Once he got back to the hotel I was almost certain that he wouldn't ring me back. He would be so offended by my suggestion that he was sleeping with someone else and I knew it was going to take a lot to get him to forgive me for that. We had always been so honest with one another and now I had turned around and thrown such an absurd idea into his face. I was beside myself with worry. I didn't want my thoughtlessness to end a relationship I knew I could not go without.

Hours passed and still no word from Edward. I kept trying his phone to no avail. I readied myself for bed and attempted to go to sleep. An impossibility. When was he going to get back to me? When was I going to be able to make this right? I headed back into the loungeroom and put the television on in the hopes it would distract me until he called. The sound of dialogue spewed out from the box but I wasn't comprehending any of it. My thoughts were too tied up in Edward, what the past few months had been like as his girlfriend, and when I would hear from him again.

Being with Edward had been exciting. When we were together, all his attention was on me and me only. He showered me with attention and it wasn't hard to feel loved. The problem was that I could count on one hand the number of times we had been together over the past few months. His tour was relentless and although he had encouraged me to visit him as often as I liked I hadn't taken him up on the offer too many times due to the cost involved and also my own studies. I knew this frustrated Edward but he tried to understand my need for independence and my inability to accept his help monetary wise. I didn't want to be seen as a kept woman and he didn't want me to feel that way either so we agreed to keep my flights to see him to a minimum and he visited me twice; once for James' court case because he had to be there and once for the surprise birthday party that Angela had organised. That night had been wonderful, even if I hadn't initially been happy about the surprise but I was happy to see the whole Cullen gang again and in particular Edward. He was the best birthday present I could have ever gotten and the fact that he stayed with me for a few days was even better. It made me realize how much I wanted him to be with me and that fact that he was heading back my way now on the last leg of the tour made me deliriously relieved.

When I did find the time between uni classes and work to fly out to meet the group, I was caught up in their lives of performing, charities and parties. It didn't matter where we were, Edward ensured I was his priority and he protected me from the gossip mongers amongst the press and more surprisingly his peers. He was attentive and loving; he was demonstrative with regards to his love for me without making me feel uncomfortable in public and there wasn't a day that went past where I did not hear from him on numerous occasions just so that we could connect. In every way possible Edward had been showing me how much I meant to him and for some ridiculous reason I had just thrown it back in his face because of my own unfounded insecurities. I wanted to be sick all over again.

I was in a kind of doze when the knocking on the door startled me into wakefulness. I looked at the clock and saw that it was just after eleven and wondered who on earth would be trying to visit me at this time. I felt a small snake of fear slither into my consciousness thinking about the possibility of it being James finally coming for me but then excluded it. He was in jail, after we had all testified against him, and if that status had changed dad would have let me know. Grant would not have allowed him through, anyway and I knew it was his shift tonight. The thought made me calmer and eased my ridiculous fears but not my curiosity.

I approached the door and looked through the peephole and gasped at who I saw standing there. I opened the door quickly and faced an icy cold Edward.

"What are you doing here? You're meant to be in Denver. How did you…."

"Well it was apparent that I was needed here so I came…. Are you going to let me in?" Nothing about his stance or tone of voice indicated that this meeting would end well. He was still furious and agitated and I was about to face his wrath. He moved past me into the room and I slowly closed the door, placing my forehead against its coolness, willing myself to gain some composure before I turned to face him. When I finally did I found that I was no longer alone. Edward was now ever so close to me and I was forced up against the door when his hands came up to place themselves on either side of my shoulders.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Bella? Do you not realize, yet, that you are the most important person in my life; that I would do anything for you? " Edward's tone was ragged and he was controlling the anger that I could see was darkening his eyes. "For you to accuse me of cheating on you was the lowest possible thing you could have said to me. I would never ever do that to you. Never."

"I'm sorry Edward. It just came out and…"

"Sorry just does not cut it Bella. There has to be a reason behind what you said. Tell me. Have I ever done anything to suggest that I would even so much as look at another girl? Have I ever given you reason to doubt how much I adore you and only you? Explain because I just do not understand."

I tried to put my rambling thoughts into some kind of order so that I could make him understand what had led to this moment.

"It's just so hard being away from you for so long. Wondering what you're doing? Not able to hold you or talk to you face to face. It's really hard," Something in his face softened and he moved his hand slightly so it was on my shoulder and he was tracing a soothing circle against my skin. The action calmed me a little.

"and I walked past a magazine stall today and there you were larger than life in the arms of one of your ex girlfriends looking so happy. Edward I knew that what the magazine said was rubbish. I knew they had made up some lie about the two of you getting married but the picture; that picture showed you smiling and laughing and happy to be so close to someone who wasn't me. I felt sick to my stomach. It made me realize how far apart we really are."

I didn't realize that I had tears running down my cheeks until Edward gently ran his finger under my eyes to remove them. "It's ok love, come here." He pulled me into his chest and I did not fight the move. It felt so right to be against him so that I could feel the beat of his heart. It made me believe that he was really here and I was safely in his arms again.

"I understand how hard it is Bella. I feel the same way about our separations but I guess I don't have to contend with the constant appalling images from the media that you do." He was rubbing my back as he spoke and it felt so good I almost began to cry again. "I was hugging Tanya and looking so happy because I was congratulating her on her engagement. She had just told me her good news and someone was lucky enough to be there in that moment to snap it. The hug was completely innocent, Bella. It was one friend being happy for another. That is all,"

I didn't trust myself to speak so I just remained where I was clutching at Edward's t-shirt and not allowing him to see my tears, even though he would feel their wetness against his chest. He gently lifted my face to force me to look him in the eye. I saw understanding there but also confusion.

"But there is more to it than that, isn't there Bella? I know being apart is hurting us both but it has never crossed my mind that you would be finding solace with someone else. Why would you think that of me?" Edward was trying to be as gentle as possible with me but I could still read the anger and frustration in his face. He needed a good explanation. I felt ridiculous giving him it. I took a deep breath.

"I feel like when we are together, you're always holding something back from me. Like I don't belong in your world and so you're not willing to give to me what you have given others."

" My world is screwed up Bella so you're right, I don't think you belong in it; I don't think you deserve reading articles about your boyfriend being engaged to someone else or see doctored images on the internet that show me doing things that I never do; I think you're so much better than the majority of people I have to interact with on a daily basis who think they are something special just because for some bizarre reason the media wants a piece of them……………but I do know that you belong with ME so I am selfish enough to keep you by my side. As for holding something back from you, I don't know what you mean."

I was wringing my hands in embarrassment and he quietly took them apart and held them to give me some kind of courage to answer him. "You've been with other girls and you say you love me but you've never attempted to be with me in that way. You've never wanted me like that,"

Edward's face was a torturous mix of too many emotions. "Sex? You're talking about sex? You have to be kidding me." He backed off from me and started to weave his hands through his hair in agitation. "You actually believe that I don't want you in that way. Bella, where have you been every time I am near you? Don't you realize how hard it is for me to let go of you when we're together, how much control I have had to have so that I don't just take what I long for. Us not sleeping together has not been about a lack of wanting but has been all about me respecting you and loving you enough to wait. How on earth could you not know that?"

"Really," I asked timidly.

"Yes really Bella. You said that I haven't been willing to give to you what I've given others but you are wrong. I have never been willing to give to others what I am more than willing to give to you. Myself. I have slept with girls in my past, I admit that but it has never been because I was in love with them and that is not something I am proud of. You, though, you I love beyond anything else in this world and if you want to wait until we are married, then I am more than willing to wait. For you, Bella; for you I would do anything and I would do it with a smile on my face and the knowledge that we love each other and that eventually we will have our time together," He took a deep breath and looked at me sternly "and for your information, being with you and holding you and kissing you is so much more than I have ever had with any other person. I would not dream of ruining what we have just so………" he made his fingers into speech marks as he said the words I had thrown at him earlier, "that my needs were met."

I could only imagine the look of astonishment that must be showing on my face as I took in his heart felt proclamations. For a minute I saw amusement line his own face and then it was replaced with concern.

"Bella, you do believe me right?"

I waded through all the information he had just handed to me and looked deeply into his eyes to try and bring myself back to some sort of ability to talk.

"How could I not," I whispered in awe "but Edward did you just suggest that we will get married one day?"

"Of course." He looked at me as if I was not completely with it. "It seems the logical choice for two people who love one another, wouldn't you say?"

I gasped. _Edward Cullen wanted to marry me one day. Edward Cullen loved me enough to grow old with one day. Edward Cullen was waiting for me and only me for his forever. Never had I felt as gratified as I felt right now. _He quirked his eyebrow up at me waiting for some kind of response. I stuttered.

"Well yes it does seem like the logical thing to do I guess but I had never allowed myself to…."

My words were swallowed as Edward's lips came crashing down onto mine firmly but still with gentleness. It didn't last long before he was looking at me with a teasing smile.

"I forgive you," he ran his nose from my ear down to my shoulder and then placed an open mouthed kiss on the skin there so that I was no longer thinking rationally "for thinking that I could be with anyone else but you"

He brought his mouth back up to graze mine and I quickly placed my fingers between our lips before he made me lose my train of thought and forget the very important bit of information that Edward needed. He stopped reluctantly but didn't pull away so I could still feel the heat of his lips and the sweetness of his breath as he waited for me to speak.

"Edward, we've never discussed this so I can kind of understand the assumption that you made but it's wrong."

"What's wrong?"

"I am not waiting for marriage,"

Shock flashed across Edward's face. "but you……. I thought you wanted……. well why are you….."

He looked like a small child who had no idea what to say or how to convey what he needed answered.

"I was waiting for love. Plain and simple, I didn't want to be with someone like that unless my heart and soul was in it; unless I saw a forever with that person, it wasn't going to happen," I paused to make sure he understood what I was saying. "You are my forever Edward. I was waiting for you."

Edward gaped at me, speechless for moments before his voice cracked with self reproach. "All this time I thought I was doing the right thing by you, I was actually making you feel unwanted?"

The heat was rising into my face again but we needed to have this conversation in order for him to understand why I had reacted the way I had earlier. "No not really unwanted, Edward …just confused. It seemed that you wanted me but you kept holding back from me and I could only assume that you would be very experienced in this area so I began to worry that maybe I wasn't good enough or….."

Edward's hand covered my mouth so I could no longer speak.

"Bella, I haven't been with nearly as many women as you seem to think I have been with. Tanya was my girlfriend for a short while there, years ago, in response to our families kind of expecting we'd end up together and sure we fooled around a bit but it was never serious; just a way to be less lonely in a world of couples and I have admittedly had a couple of very casual encounters with women who made it quite clear that was all they wanted from me. I have experienced sex, I am not denying it but I'm not a man whore and more importantly I am not experienced when it comes to making love. When it comes to that, you and I are completely on the same playing field."

"So…" I couldn't take my eyes away from Edward's mouth. Him talking about making love had relit all the secret longings I had for him and that mouth of his would be the start of all good things if I could only pull him closer and make sure he didn't stop. I sighed audibly and Edward's mouth bent into a knowing smile as he raised his eyebrows yet again at me.

"So," he smirked and it made him look incredibly sexy. He stepped closer to me, relinquishing my hands, that he had been holding, to place his own on my hips. Without thinking about it I found my arm rise so that I could clamp my fingers onto the tendons on the back of his neck and force him to lower his head for easy access to his delectable mouth. I pushed my lips against his in a feather light kiss as a silent invitation but no sooner had I done so than my need broke through and I was no longer inviting; I was demanding his attention. I wanted it all; his mouth, his hands, everything he had to offer. I was starving for him and it was almost frightening in its intensity. I felt Edward grip my hips harder as I took control of his mouth and his gasp spurned me on before the tables were turned and it was Edward who was dominating that kiss and molding me into his body so that I could feel just how much he wanted me. Both of my arms were now snaked around his neck and back so that I could add my own pressure to the embrace. We both groaned at the same time and Edward took the opportunity to move his lips away from mine and whisper my name into my ear and the way he spoke sent reverberations straight through my body. Before I knew what was happening Edward had placed one arm under my thighs and was holding me clasped against his chest.

"What are you doing," I questioned in surprise having been jarred from my stupor of desire his kiss had provided me.

His lips were still against my ear and he nibbled softly at it before blowing lightly on the moisture he had left behind. The action sent tingles through my body and I almost missed his words as he began to carry me towards my bedroom.

"I am taking you to your bedroom," he nipped my ear again "so that I can show you just how much I DON'T want you Bella."

I giggled with nervousness. "Ok, ok touché. I get that you actually do,"

"Aha, I truly do but…"

"But what?"

"If you want to stop this, now is the time to do it, Bella. I need you to be sure," His eyes, so darkened with desire still held concern for me and it made me love him all the more.

"I've never been surer of anything in my life," I responded as I traced the hard line of his jaw and gazed at his beautiful face with as much love as I could.

"Perfect," he whispered softly as he pushed the door of my room open with his foot. I thought he was going to take me to my bed and lie me down but he surprised me by gently placing me upright in front of him so that I was standing within his arms and his face was buried within my hair.

"God I've missed you Bella," he spoke hesitantly as he twisted his fingers within my hair and brought the tangled mass of hair up to his face so that he could inhale it. "Everything about you; your scent, your expressions, your kisses, your all encompassing love; everything – I've missed everything."

Swoon worthy words that deserved some sort of answer from me but it never happened because Edward was lowering his head towards me, taking his time and closing his eyes so that all I could think about was the kiss he was about to give. His breath caressed my skin before his hot lips touched mine and again I could feel the electric shocks sparking between us as he eagerly took possession of my mouth. His tongue probed the recesses of my mouth and the slow deepening of the kiss made me need to cling onto him so that I didn't fall into a mess at his feet. Edward was putting so much love into that kiss that I felt like I was walking on air just from knowing how deeply he felt for me.

I wrapped my arms around him and began to run the fingers of one hand through his tussled bronze hair and allowed the other hand to run up and down his back. I could feel the muscles move through his shirt, in response to my touch and it made me press him even closer to me. He happily obliged and for a few moments there did not seem to be a single piece of air between the two of us. It still wasn't close enough.

Edward pulled his head a little way from mine but kept our bodies connected so that he could look me intently in the eyes.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to love you like this Bella," His fingers began to trace intricate patterns of feeling over the features of my face and I took in a deep breath to steady myself. Every touch from Edward was like an overwhelming pinpoint of feeling that threatened to consume me. When Edward replaced his fingers with soft kisses that began to trail down to the tender part of my neck just above my collarbone I let out a soft hiss and could feel the goosebumps rise on my skin. Edward continued his path downwards, gently pushing aside the straps of the singlet top I had put on for bed so that there was no barrier to stop him from lightly licking and kissing against my shoulders and collarbone. The feeling was exquisite and he was only just starting so I could only imagine the pleasure I would feel once he went further.

Suddenly I was overcome with the need to give him back what he was giving me. I lifted my hands to push his jacket off his shoulders and he happily obliged by removing his arms and allowing it to fall at our feet. That wasn't nearly enough for me; I needed to feel his skin under my fingers, not the material of the long sleeved tee he was wearing. I reached for the hem of his top and tugged it up and over his head, forcing him to stop his lip's attack on my body. I was instantly mesmerized by his appearance and took a moment to drink it in. Edward looked like a greek god standing there with his broad chest, flat stomach and muscled arms; his tussled bronze hair sticking out at all points due to his shirt coming up over his head and the darkened eyes that were so full of love and lust for me. He was so damned perfect and I needed to touch. I began to place my own random kisses against his chest and neck while Edward entwined his hands once again into my hair and hummed in satisfaction. Soon his hands left my hair and were roaming against my back and hips until he had them sliding effortlessly under my own top to touch the sensitive skin of my lower back and stomach. I moaned against his shoulder and nipped softly with my teeth. He gasped and then continued to raise my top up towards my breasts. I stepped back a little so that he could take the top off completely and finally we were against one another skin to skin and nothing had prepared me for the feel of it. I could intimately feel the unsteady tempo of his heart as it beat inside his chest and when I gave him my lips once more it only quickened. I loved that I could cause that reaction in him.

Edward's warm, gentle hands gliding over the skin of my stomach caused my own heart rate to increase. He was reaching higher and higher until I could feel them slowly cup the slight heaviness of my breasts before gently massaging and squeezing the soft flesh there so that I let out an audible gasp. My senses were reeling as Edward used his thumb to lightly rub across the sensitivity of my nipples and I pulled away from his kiss so that I could see the expression on his face. He smiled at me lovingly, clearly enjoying the sensation of touching my body and I noted with satisfaction the glazed over look in his eyes that told me that I wasn't the only one overcome with longing.

"That feels incredible," I sighed as I watched his face.

"Hhmmmm. You are incredible Bella." When he moved his hands away from my breasts I almost cried in frustration but he circled my torso with his hands instead and gently maneuvered them down until they were sitting on my hips right above the sweat pants I had on. He stopped momentarily so that I could feel the warmth of his hands there before he continued pushing down to remove the sweats so that I was left in only midnight blue boy shorts. I had a moment of regret that I had not been more prepared for this; that I was not wearing something more seductive and alluring for our first time but the thought left my head almost instantly when Edward took a step back to look at me, whilst unbuckling the belt of his jeans. As he removed his jeans and threw them to join the rest of our clothes, he shook his head.

"So damned beautiful, Bella. Come here,"

He didn't need to ask twice. I threw myself at him and found myself pushed up against every bit of the hardness of his body. As we kissed I could not help but move my hips against his in a grinding motion to give us both some sort of pleasure through the cloth of our underwear. He groaned and it made me even more insistent with getting as close as possible. He placed his hands beneath my ass and lifted me so that I was no longer able to touch the ground with my feet and he did not have to lean down to kiss me. I enjoyed the different angle and drew my legs up to wrap around his hips, pressing my heat into his erection. His arms adjusted so that he was supporting my weight and then he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

"Shit Bella. You…… I…..that feels…."

I crashed my lips against his in a feverish claim on his mouth and my demands were met as Edward kissed me back with equal passion and need, moving his tongue like fire around my mouth. I felt us moving, through all the incredible sensations I was experiencing, and suddenly I was being laid ever so gently on my bed and Edward was hovering above me. I relinquished his lips.

"Edward I want you."

"I know honey and we will get there but we have all night and we've waited a long time for this moment. I don't want to rush this. I want you to feel good; really good."

I succumbed to the sincerity in his voice and tried to relax and just enjoy what was happening between us right now. Edward's lips were moving over mine again and again as he interspersed his kisses with whispers of love and need. His hands were caressing my breasts and soon his mouth followed where he had been with his fingers just moments before. I arched my back to push my breast into his mouth and my hands found their way into the silkiness of his hair where I clutched for dear life as his mouth moved lovingly around my nipples. I had never felt anything so exquisite in my life. His attention to my body was building up a need in me that was way beyond what I had felt from just his kisses.

"Edward, please.."

He smiled up at me. "Patience, love." He moved his mouth lower so that he was placing open mouth kisses on my stomach and then just above the waist band of my shorts. He sucked gently on each of my hip bones, bringing out a cry of enjoyment from me, and then began to lower my shorts so that they slowly moved down my legs, with his lips trailing closely behind and then eventually off all together. I was completely naked for him now and I couldn't bring myself to be embarrassed about it. The hooded eyes of my lover told me everything I needed to know. He loved every bit of me.

"Bella, you are……you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on." He was rubbing my skin in light circles as he moved back up my legs towards the place I most wanted him to touch. He did not take his gaze from mine as he continued his journey up my body, completely ignoring the one place that would give me my release. He laid himself beside me as his exploration of my body continued "I still can not fathom that you are with me, Bella. You are too perfect. This has to be some kind of dream."

My hands were doing their own exploration now and I languidly shook my head at the same time as my fingers flitted across his stomach. "No dream Edward. We deserve this. We deserve each other."

Edward nodded at me but it was an action I almost missed because he had moved his hand to the juncture between my thighs and suddenly all I could concentrate on was the amazing feeling of his fingers gently pressing into my moist heat. I jerked involuntarily at the intense sensation as Edward muttered soothing words into my ear. When Edward's finger entered that warm, damp place I almost wanted to explode with the sheer pleasure of it. He moved his fingers in and out with careful accuracy, sometimes teasing my entrance and sometime curling right up inside me to give me the ultimate feeling of pleasure. Without much thought I reached down his boxers to take hold of his erection and began to run my hand up and down in a slow motion from his base to his head. All I knew was that I wanted to give him the same enjoyment he was giving me; the same intense feelings of pleasure and when he began to moan and I could feel his thick shaft pulsing in my hand I knew that he was in the same heavenly place as I was and it gave me a great sense of satisfaction.

"God Bella… so good," He kissed me passionately as he continued touching me and I could feel myself building up to an incredible high of desire. My moans must have told Edward how close I was because he stopped moving his fingers and gently removed my hand from his shaft, squinting his eyelids together in concentration. "Not yet, Bella. We're not ready yet."

The absence of his fingers made me feel hollow for a few seconds but Edward was still touching me in other ways and I could feel the heat radiating off both of our skins.

"I want to taste you Bella" My breath hitched as the meaning of his words hit my brain. I felt the blush make my heated face look even redder and Edward noted it with understanding.

"Do you trust me?" Edward had hold of my chin and was looking intently into my eyes to confirm the honesty of my answer.

I nodded instantly. "Of course, Edward. Always."

"I want this intimacy with you Bella; no one else, never anyone else. Please let me taste you."

I sighed at the thought of what was about to happen. I was incredibly turned on with the thought of his lips being on such an intimate part of my body and I was never going to deny him.

"I'm yours Edward. You needn't even ask."

Edward kissed the soft curls on my mound before lightly pressing his tongue against the quivering, tender flesh of my centre. The instant his tongue touched the sensitive nub we both moaned in unison and I felt a new jolt of electricity scream through my body as I arched my back, encouraging Edward to delve into my wetness and heat. As he licked and sucked at my most intimate folds, I felt my mind scattering into a million pieces of colours and perceptions and I was no longer aware of what noises were coming from me in response to the way his mouth was moving against me. I vaguely heard myself call out Edward's name while a dizzying explosion of feeling and release broke over me in waves of ecstasy. I could feel my thighs still gently shaking as Edward continued to kiss me lightly until my body relaxed and then he slid up and pulled me into the embrace of his arms, holding me tightly. I buried my face into his neck as I clung to him in absolute awe.

"I love you Edward,"

"As I do you," He answered immediately. His lips and hands were travelling over me again and I could feel the passion slowly burning through my body again, in response to his touches. My hands were doing their own exploration and the feel of his hard, lean body reacting to me was nothing but good. I opened my eyes to watch Edward's face and the love I had for him escalated as I saw the level of enjoyment and concentration warring with one another on his face. I needed him and it was pretty obvious he needed me too.

I ran my hand down his thigh until I could move his leg over my body so that I was under him. I heard his breath catch in recognition of what I wanted right now and his eyes tightened in focus before clearing and giving me the most heart wrenching smile of devotion. He bent down to place delicate kisses against my face as he held himself up off my body and then he looked deep into my eyes, wordlessly letting me know how much I meant to him. I shivered slightly at the depth of feeling he was willing to share with me and barely nodded to let him know that everything he was saying was very much returned. His pupils darkened even further and then his head was bowed again to close his lips over mine and he was kissing me as if he wanted to savour every little bit of me. I was intoxicated and completely enveloped in the smell and feel of him. I was losing myself in his embrace and kiss; I needed him.

As if he understood he lowered his body so that it was molding itself against mine and my legs parted to allow him access to my wetness. He groaned as he gently placed the tip of his erection into my warmth and then stopped.

"Bella I love you."

"I know."

"I don't want to hurt you,"

"I know that too," I smiled at him reassuringly and brought my hand to his chin to trace it lovingly. I pushed my hips up so that he would be more fully sheathed within me and felt the resistance immediately. My body involuntarily tensed with apprehension and I closed my eyes tightly. Edward used one hand to balance himself and the other to tenderly run his fingers through my scalp, lazily playing with my hair to calm me. He stayed completely still inside me, not moving either way, just allowing me to become accustomed to him. Even through my nervousness I felt a dull ache from wanting him so much. Him being inside me gave me a sense of completeness that I wanted to explore more fully.

"Bella, look at me." Edward insisted quietly, forcing me to open my eyes and stare at him directly. "You are the love of my life. Whatever you want is what I want. Tell me what you want."

"I want you to make love to me," Fervour made my voice sound husky. "I want to feel you all the way inside me."

Desire flared in his eyes and overcame his unsertainty. With the same care he had been demonstrating all night, Edward dipped his head and rubbed his lips over my lips slowly back and forth until all my focus was on the sensation of his mouth. When he let his tongue slide over my upper lip and then my lower lip, gradually increasing the pressure so that the kiss was becoming more demanding I was no longer thinking at all, just responding by gently thrusting against Edward's hips so that there was friction between us. He was rocking against me with controlled movements and I could feel the buildup of pleasure overcome me again. There was a small stab of pain and then suddenly we were free and Edward was sliding in and out of me without any type of barrier to stop him.

"Shit," Edward groaned as we moved together as one and I began to whimper with all the good feelings that were bombarding my body. Edward and I were as close as humanly possible now and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here with him, showing with my body how much I worshipped him and needed him. Our tempo increased and I could feel myself tightening around him, clutching at his back until eventually I felt the world give way so that I was spiraling through some sort of abyss of pure pleasure. Edward followed me within seconds, before collapsing in a heap on top of me.

Moments passed as I enjoyed the heaviness of Edward's body on me and the realization that what we had just done had surpassed any expectations I had ever had. Edward lifted himself off me slightly and kissed my forehead before rolling over and wrapping his arm around me to nestle against his chest.

"Are you ok, sweetheart? I didn't….?"

"More than ok Edward." We fell into a comfortable silence, resting and taking in what had just taken place between us.

"Bella, that was… I don't even have any words to describe what that was."

"Beautiful, perfect, exhilarating, loving, mind blowing, enjoyable, explosive,"

Edward chuckled at me. "Well yes – all those things and more. God I love you, Bella Swan." He squeezed me to reinforce his words and I squeezed right back, lifting my head to look straight into his loving eyes.

"Thank you Edward." I whispered.

Edward smiled and ran his fingers along the side of my body. "For what?"

"For being so gentle; for giving me so much; for loving me like that."

His searing kiss made the butterflies jump in my stomach once more. He tightened his grip on me and brought his mouth to my ear so that I could not miss his words.

"I will always love you like that, Bella. Always!"


	41. Chapter 41: Not Letting Go

**Wow thanks to the readers who left me some love and told me what they thought of Bella and Edward's special moment. Makes me smile every time!**

Chapter 41

EPOV – Not letting go.

I was in the throes of waking up but I hadn't opened my eyes yet. I couldn't feel the warmth of her body next to me and something told me that if I opened my eyes I would have to accept that I wasn't in Seattle with her at all; that the wonderful experiences of last night had not happened and it was just a very vivid dream due to the amount I was missing her. It would absolutely kill me if I woke up fully and found that I was still alone in my Denver hotel room with Bella across the miles sleeping in her own bed, so far from me. I stretched languidly, putting off the moment when I would have to accept reality and then gingerly opened my eyes.

I was alone.

But I was in Bella's bed and the indentation on the bed beside me and my ability to take in Bella's scent, now that I was more aware, told me everything I hoped so much would be true; Bella and I had taken our relationship to the next level last night and nothing could ever have been more perfect than that closeness I had experienced with her. Nothing. I couldn't stop the huge grin making its way onto my face. Bella might not still be wrapped up in my arms as I wished she was, but she wasn't far away, since I could hear the very distinct sounds of things happening in the kitchen, and that was all that mattered. I closed my eyes momentarily to think about what had happened last night; from the fury I had felt on the phone when Bella had accused me of cheating, to the despair I had felt as I made my way to her to sort through the mess of her actually believing that that could ever happen, to the sadness and recognition that Bella's admission of feeling like I was holding back from her was in many ways so true and then finally the ultimate bliss of making love to the woman of my dreams, knowing that it was what we both wanted – what we both needed. For a brief moment I wondered if she regretted what we had done but then the door of the bedroom opened and a radiant Bella entered, looking at me with absolute love in her eyes and I knew that she didn't. She beamed at me when she realized that I was awake and placed the tray of food she was carrying on the side table next to me before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my lips. I had to restrain myself from pulling her down to the bed to continue that kiss to a very fulfilling ending. She looked absolutely delectable standing there dressed only in my tee shirt from last night. Images of our love making flashed in front of my eyes and I quickly forced myself to concentrate on the here and now.

"Good morning, sleepy head. I was hoping you'd be awake soon. I made you breakfast in bed." Bella's voice reflected all the cheeriness I was myself feeling.

"I can see that. It looks delicious but you didn't have to do that." I smiled at her to show that I appreciated the thought and then lifted myself up so that I was leaning against the headboard of the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"The best I have slept in ages, Edward and the fact that I woke up in your arms was even better," her shy smile sent a shiver of longing through my body and I pulled myself away from staring at those lips of hers.

"As for breakfast; I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. It was about time I did something special for you for a change." Bella reached over to pick up the tray and placed it in front of me as she made herself comfortable, cross legged across from my place on the bed. She motioned to the tray with the two plates filled with pancakes and bacon, eggs and sausages. "Besides I have never had breakfast in bed before and it seems like it's a time of firsts so let's go with the flow," she giggled lightly at her own words and I couldn't help but reach forward to place my hand on her knee.

"Thanks Bella. Breakfast in bed with you is the perfect way to finish a perfect night. I love you."

She returned my gaze and sighed happily. "I never thought I could feel this good Edward." she stated simply.

"Neither did I."

Our smiling contemplation of one another ended when Bella shook her head and reminded me that we had a hot meal in front of us to eat before it got cold. We tucked into it and I groaned at the tastiness of it as we ate. I hadn't realized just how hungry I was until I had the first bite. Bella really was a great cook.

As I sipped on the orange juice Bella had freshly squeezed for us, a thought came to me, making me blush.

"Where's Seth?"

Bella chuckled at my reddened face and the realization that I was actually embarrassed. "Why Edward I do believe you are blushing."

"Well, I kind of forgot all about him last night and I am not entirely sure that we were overly discrete in our, ah…. in what we were doing and just a short while ago you were in your kitchen cooking in that….that outfit, which I hope to god he didn't see because it is way too fucking sexy and…"

"Relax Edward," Bella couldn't take the smirk off her face "Seth has gone away with Ellie for a few days. She is introducing her family to him."

"Oh. Ok then. That sounds pretty serious." A slight prick of alarm went off in my head. "Does he do this often? Leaving you on your own because I am not so sure that is a good idea."

Bella shook her head at me ruefully. "You are never going to let go of the whole I need protecting business are you Edward? Seth has his own life and can go away any time he wants. It's not like I am really alone. Grant or Jean Luc are always there in the shadows just in case."

"I know Bella. I am sorry. I guess I just feel guilty that I am relying on other people to be with you, instead of me. I hate the feeling that I am letting you down."

"You aren't Edward. I promise. Besides my slight removal from sanity yesterday, accusing you of what I know is not true, I believe in what we have together. It doesn't matter that you aren't with me one hundred percent of the time." Bella grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "As for Seth, it isn't very often that he goes away anyway and the truth be told Ellie is usually over here to stay, which I think is because Seth does not feel comfortable leaving me alone to stay at her place. These few days were kind of a big deal to them and I had to basically talk him into going. I refuse to stand in the way of true love."

"I worry, that's all."

"There is nothing to worry about. James is safely behind bars now and won't be out any time soon according to what the judge said. Generally people pretty much leave me alone these days – not so much big news anymore. I don't think they actually believe that a superstar such as yourself could possibly be serious about a mousy brown haired nothing such as myself and security is around at all times anyway. Besides, you're engaged now to that buxom looking………Hey what are you doing?"

I had quickly grabbed the tray of food off the bed and plonked it without ceremony on the floor so that I could take Bella into my arms and begin kissing her face with light touches over and over again.

"Do not insult my girlfriend by saying she is a mousy brown haired nothing. She is the most beautiful," _kiss_ "inspiring," _kiss_ "gorgeous" _kiss_, "loving" _kiss_ "woman in the world," _kiss_ "and any man with half a brain would be trying to sweep her off her feet just to make her theirs"

"Well it sounds to me like you are one lucky man, that she only has eyes for you then."

"Absolutely. The luckiest." She grinned at our silliness and then drew herself closer to me which made my heart stop for the briefest of moments before starting to beat erratically again.

"So when do you have to leave," she whispered against my neck and then followed her words up with a wet kiss against that sensitive area. I was instantly under her spell and it took me too long to answer.

"Um today, I have a concert tonight and tomorrow a very important charity event to attend." I pulled away from her administrations on my neck and gently made her look at me so that she could see that it was painful for me to say this. "I wish it was different Bella but I shouldn't really be here anyway, although I am more than glad that I am. The others must be having a fit about the possibility of me not being there. I rang Alice last night when I got off the plane and explained that I needed to see you and that I would be back in time. I promised."

Bella's face fell and I wanted to kick myself for constantly putting her in this position of having to say goodbye. It seemed particularly horrible given the level of closeness we had achieved last night. How could I just walk away from that as if it was some sort of meaningless roll in the hay?

"It's ok Edward. I didn't expect you to stay long. I appreciate you even coming in the first place," She tried to smile at me but it fell short and I roughly grabbed her body to encase it in my arms to give her some sort of reassurance that it wasn't always going to be like this.

"Come with me," I demanded without thought and then realized the presumption behind the words so spoke more gently to her. "I am not so sure I can leave you Bella after what we've just shared. It seems wrong somehow to make love to you and then disappear for another couple of weeks. I want you to be with me. Can't you take a few days off and come with me? I know you don't want me to buy you plane tickets but I can more than afford it and I can't think of anything I would rather spend my money on than making sure we are with each other." I peered anxiously at her uncertain expression and decided to pull out all stops to get her to do this with me. "Please Bella. You don't know how much this would mean to me. Just a few days and then you can come back to finish off uni before Christmas. Then it won't seem so bad because within a few weeks the tour will be finished and we will be together anyway. We should be together. I can't leave you right now Bella. I need you to come with me."

Did she see the truth behind my words? Did she understand the overwhelming need I had not to let her go right now? I hoped so. I really wanted at least a few days with her to make the upcoming weeks not seem so empty.

"Fine," she said breathlessly and my head snapped up to note her expression. "I can't say no to you Edward, not when it's what I really want too. I will come with you for a few days but I have to be back by midweek to study for my exams. Deal?"

"One hundred percent. I will organize it and I won't try to keep you with me longer than that, I promise," the happiness was growing within me that this was not going to be goodbye now.

"So how long have I got to get myself packed and ready to go?"

"A few hours," I answered contently but my contentment soon turned to desire as Bella began to work her way down my body, trailing kisses.

"So then we have time for you to show me what I would be missing out on if I had said no to coming back with you?" she spoke seductively and my insides turned to goo just thinking about what she was suggesting.

"Um. I do believe so,"

"Good. I want to make sure I made the right decision."

And conversation ceased for a short while so that I could show her.

#########

We did this every year, and every year it was as hard as the previous one but would we ever stop it? I didn't believe so because this was one way that we could give and this was important to all of us, but mostly for Rosalie and Jasper.

Bella clutched at my hand as we walked amongst the hundreds of children who were clamoring for our attention. She would not be used to this and I knew her sensitivity would make this even harder.

"There are just so many of them," she whispered to me as I placed my arm around her shoulders and drew her closer to me.

"Aha, and in many ways these are the lucky ones. There are so many more out there that haven't been given a chance like these kids. It is hard to fathom, I know sweetheart but think about the positives. These kids are getting the help they need."

Bella reluctantly nodded her head and continued greeting kids as they came up to talk to us. She had such a loving and natural way with them that I couldn't help but think what she would be like with her own kids. Our own kids, I corrected myself. If Bella was going to have children it would be with me, I had no doubts about that. I distracted myself from that chain of thought as I looked around to see where the others were and found them pretty much in the same situation as us; talking and laughing with groups of kids and their carers. Today was the charity event I had mentioned to Bella yesterday, a celebration of sorts and we were sharing the lead up to Christmas with a bunch of amazing people – kids and carers alike. Soon we would be on stage as the entertainment but right now we were enjoying getting to know these people and learning about their stories; some sad and some joyful but every single one of them brave. It made us realize just how lucky we were with the life we were able to lead and the family we had.

Rosalie was the one who got the most out of this annual event. It was the day when all pretense was gone for her and the ice princess routine was not needed, in her mind. This charity event gave her a purpose that was close to her. She loved interacting with the children and sharing with them that she had once been in a similar predicament as they were, although she would never reveal the extent of hurt that was placed upon her due to those circumstances. If Rosalie wanted to make a difference in the world it would be in this; in providing children safety and comfort at a time when all seemed lost for them. She was a keen supporter of the National Foster Parent Association and other networks that provided foster care for children. She fought constantly for good screening of prospective carers so that the children who were already hurting by losing, or being removed from, their biological parents, weren't further hurt by the people they ended up living with. We were all proud of her efforts and the fact that our fame and wealth could be used in such a positive and passionate way. It didn't matter where we were, we would always make sure we were involved in the local cities Foster Week celebrations.

A slight tug at my shirt made me look down to find a small boy of about seven staring up at me with large eyes. He was holding out a sausage sandwich for me quite proudly and I immediately sat down on my haunches so that our faces were at the level.

"Hello, young man," I hoped my smile would make him feel more comfortable.

"Hello. I was wondering if you would like a BBQ sausage. They taste really good," He offered the sandwich to me and I gladly took it from his hand with a heartfelt thank you. How cute was this kid getting me my lunch. He turned up to smile at the woman standing behind him and she gave him an encouraging smile.

"Nathan here is a big fan of your band Mr Cullen so he made something special for you that he would like to give you, if that is ok?"

"Something more than this lovely sandwich you brought me for my lunch? Wow Nathan that is so nice of you. I would love to see it."

"Great," He beamed at me and then went to the lady's bag as she watched him tenderly. I wondered how long the young man had been living with her and what their story was. No matter; I could tell from their interactions that he was happy and that she was a good mother to him. The thought made me feel relieved.

When he placed the dice like object in my hands I was overwhelmed with the thought that had gone on behind this gift. On each of the faces of the cardboard dice there was a coloured picture of each of the members of the band, including Alice and they had been decorated with blues and purples of sparkles and stars.

"Nathan. I think this is the best present anyone has ever given me. It is wonderful. I am going to hang it up in my room when I get home."

"Really. You really like it?" Nathan's eyes couldn't have bugged out anymore with the knowledge that I had accepted his gift and I was happy with it. "We learnt how to make the dice at school for maths and I decided that I wanted it to be all about you guys."

"Well. I love it. I promise." I shook his hand and as I did I noticed that Bella had stopped her conversation with someone and was now watching my interaction with Nathan. She leant down to take a closer look and gave Nathan some compliments about his work of art. He blushed and I laughed inwardly that she could have that effect, even on young boys of seven.

Once our conversation had finished, Bella and I headed over to see how Rosalie and Emmett were doing with their admirers. Emmett was being his goofy self and Rosalie was trying her hardest to be all attentive but I could sense that something was off.

"Are you ok?" I leant into Rosalie and she gave me an indefinable negative shake of her head. "How about some time out? We can go back to the tent for a few minutes, hey?"

Bella was looking between the two of us, not completely understanding what was going on but knowing that Rosalie was not quite herself. Rosalie readily agreed to go back to the tent and let Emmett know what we were doing. We excused ourselves and the four of us headed back to the tent that had been allocated to us. Bella drew back as we neared the tent.

"Maybe you guys need some time alone," she questioned uncertainly and I looked at Rosalie to know how to answer.

"Uh uh. I don't mind you being with us Bella. You're part of this family now too."

I took Bella's hand and we walked into the tent together. Rosalie walked over to get a glass of water and Emmett was rubbing her shoulders with tenderness and concern.

"What's wrong?" Besides the obvious, I felt like yelling at myself. This was hard for Rosalie I knew that, but something more must have happened.

"Shelley approached me a little while ago about a particular child they are trying to find a home for," I listened intently. Shelley was our go between when it came to foster care and our support for it. She was a tough lady who had been helping children for years and years and her and Rose and really clicked when they had met each other years ago.

Rosalie shot Emmett a quick look and then her eyes glazed over a little as she watched Bella's face as she spoke.

"The girl is twelve and the thing is, Shelley wants me to have a chat with her,"

"Ok," I said gently " and this makes you feel uncomfortable because…?"

"Edward. Her parents were killed in the same way ours were. An uncle took her in and it appears…. well it seems like… the same thing has been happening to her that happened to me before Jasper dragged me to find your family." Emmett clasped Rosalie to his chest and gave me a pleading look over her head. Bella stood dumbstruck next to me taking in what Rosalie was saying and not entirely sure that she had the facts correct.

"You don't have to do this Rose?" I answered trying to concentrate on her rather than Bella's reaction. I was seething inside that Shelley would put Rose in this position. She was one of the few people in the world who knew what had happened to Rosalie during her time in foster care and now she was asking too much of her.

"I know I don't but the thing is she is just a little girl Edward. She has lost her parents and then she has lost her innocence because of some fucked up sicko who doesn't know how to give a child a SAFE home. I know her emotions. I know her pain. I know it all. How can I just walk away from here today without at least talking to her and letting her know that it will be ok in the end? And what if it's not ok? I know that there are so many people working out there trying to stop this kind of thing from happening but sometimes kids fall through the cracks of the system and they are not placed appropriately. What then?"

Emmett was rubbing up and down Rose's arms trying to calm her down and she whimpered up at him.

"What if I am not strong enough to talk to her without losing my crap and making her feel worse?"

Emmett gently placed his finger under her chin and lifted it to face him. "Rose. You are the strongest woman I know. You don't have to do this but if you choose to, you will do it well because that is who you are. People have tried to break you and you didn't let them do it. Look at what we have now. Do you think we could have this if you weren't strong? No way, baby. When it comes to strength, you have it in bucket loads and that is why I love you so much."

Rose's lips quivered as she returned Emmett's gaze. "I am strong because I have you and you," she pointed at me and it made me glad that she felt that way, " and Jazz and Alice and Esme and Carlisle. I had all of you to support me and to love me. This little girl has no one. Her one relative has turned on her and hurt her in imaginable ways," I felt Bella shudder against my side and held her tighter.

" and she is twelve, which means they are going to have a hard time finding a home for her. We all know how it works; everyone wants the young kids who haven't got the same level of baggage – they want the cutesy babies. Twelve year olds are hard to place and here I will be, telling her it will all be ok. That she will get the help she needs. I am not sure moving from temporary house to temporary house is conclusive to it all being ok. She will be so scared."

"Look Rosalie. I have to admit I am not sure why Shelley is asking you to do this, it seems a little cruel to me, but I can only imagine that it is because she sees you as good role model." Rosalie's eyes bore into mine and I knew she was going to argue that what I was saying was not true; she didn't feel like a role model, never wanted to be one. I kept going anyway. "Someone who has lived what these kids have and who has still managed to do well for herself. Maybe she wants you to give this little girl just a touch of hope when everything seems so hopeless to her right now. It's not your responsibility to make everything right for this little girl; she just needs to know that she is not the only one who has experienced horror and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel."

Rosalie took my words in and then nodded her head thoughtfully. "You're right. She deserves at least a little hope. I'll let Shelly know that I will talk to her." Decision made, Rosalie became more like her normal self and grimaced at Bella.

"Sorry to drag you into all of this Bella. Knowing Edward, I am pretty sure that you weren't privy to what happened to me whilst in foster care and I have just dumped all this on you out of the blue. Apologies for that but at least now there are no secrets between us, hey"

Bella almost choked on her own words but I was proud of her for at least trying to appear like this kind of conversation happened every day. " No need to apologise Rosalie. You obviously needed to work through this with Emmett and Edward."

"Hmmm. Edward is good at giving advice when it comes to other people's lives and dramas. Just not so good with his own." Rosalie threw a cheeky grin at me to alleviate the sting within her words.

"Hey," I answered. " Not fair. I have been trying really hard to do better. Cut me some slack. I have the girl now, don't I?"

Rosalie was enjoying the teasing and it was a welcome relief from the seriousness of our conversation of just moments ago.

"Yep. Thank goodness for that. I can't imagine what it would be like if Bella wasn't in our lives. You would be unbearable." Rosalie headed towards the door to leave and speak to Shelley. Emmett trailed closely behind.

"Ah Rosalie. I am really sorry that you had to live through that," Bella's voice was full of remorse for Rose's pain.

"Yeh so am I but it's in the past and now is all that is important." The serious expression on Rose's face made me wonder what she was going to say to Bella. "Look what we have Bella. We are part of a family of amazing people who would do anything for us and love us unconditionally. What more can we want? The past is the past."

Yep, Rose was going to be ok.

###########

The concert we put on for the kids was a whole lot of fun. We varied what we would normally do quite substantially and sang a combination of some of our more appropriate sings and some well known kids songs. The kids were having a ball and it was priceless to see the sea of little kids and teenage faces staring up at us. Every now and again I would glance at Bella and she would be dancing with some little kid who wanted to be swung around in time with the music. Alice was doing the same and I would grin at the two of them, obviously basking in the good feelings coming from the crowd. Bella's face would be flushed and I realized that this was how I wanted it to be; Bella with me so that we could share moments like this, not constantly apart. I would have to figure out a way of making that happen.

Rosalie had come back from her talk with the young girl in much better spirits and explained to Alice and Jasper what had occurred during their time mingling. Jasper searched his sister's face for some kind of sign that she wasn't handling the situation alright but when he found none he just took her in his arms and told her how proud he was of her.

"You should meet Claudia, Jazz. She is great. She has been through so much but when it came to meeting me and then Emmett," we all looked at Emmett raising our eyebrows but he just shrugged good naturedly. I was certain that given what the little girl had endured at the hands of a male she would not be interested in being around a man, but I was wrong. "she just let go and threw herself into the conversation. She apparently loves Emmet the most in our band; sorry about that guys," she directed that at Jasper and I who laughed at the look of pride on Emmett's face "so when it came to meeting him she didn't even falter. She said she wants to be a drummer just like him one day. I told her I would organise for her to come to one of our concerts as our special guest and she was wrapped in that." Rose kept talking and I had the feeling that her chat with Claudia had been as beneficial for Rose as it had been for the young girl.

On the third day of Bella's visit, the six of us attended a party of one of the record companies and it was a time of stress for my poor girl. No sooner had we got out of the car to move into the venue than we were bombarded by the press who were adamant in asking me about my engagement to the lovely Tanya Denali. Over and over again I had to deny the story and each time I could see Bella die a little in response to the questioning. Some reporter even had the audacity to ask Bella if she was my mistress and how would my fiancé feel about that. Luckily for him, Jasper and Emmett were instantly at my side to hold me back from leaping on him to beat him into a pulp for disrespecting her so badly, and Bella had given me that look of trust she saved just for me so that I quickly calmed myself down so that I wouldn't hurt her by making a spectacle of us all. I couldn't believe that these people could not see what was right before their eyes. I was with Bella, the most amazing woman around and someone I wouldn't ever let go and yet they were still asking me about other women. It did not make sense to me. I drew Bella closer to my side and kissed the top of her head. "Ignore them love. They have no idea."

Once inside we were able to relax a little and I eventually felt comfortable enough to leave Bella alone with Alice while I spoke business with some of the guests. Every now and again I would steal a look in her direction to note that she was happily talking with my sister and some other guests who were making her laugh. It was a relief to know that she was not experiencing any discomfort without me there. I knew on previous occasions that some people could be downright mean to her, particularly woman who had tried, unsuccessfully to get me interested in them. I didn't want her to deal with anymore negativity tonight. The press had treated her appallingly tonight and I was pretty sure that some of my clipped responses to that would be reported out of context tomorrow. I sighed. I would deal with that as it happened. For now I just wanted to enjoy my time with Bella. With that thought I excused myself and headed back across the room towards her. On my way a hand reached out to grab hold of my arm and before I knew it I was being pulled towards a group of women I recognized as models who mainly worked with record companies for the video component of releasing songs.

"Edward. It has been so long," One of the girls crooned in my ear and I tried unsuccessfully to disengage her hand from my arm, only for it to tighten even more. I looked over at Bella who seemed completely enthralled with something a member of the band Muse was telling her and sighed with relief that she wasn't watching this display, that would no doubt hurt her.

"So it has," I murmured "I was just on my way to my girlfriend so if you could let go of me I would really appreciate it,"

That only made them all the more determined to trap me within their little circle and I was beginning to panic that Bella would think I was doing something to lead them on, because I now had more than one set of hands grabbing at me and laughing about how my girlfriend would understand the business. I tried to keep my cool; after all it wouldn't look good if I all of a sudden barged my way through a group of ladies and maybe hurt one of them but I was getting more and more uncomfortable with the thought that Bella would see and be hurt all over again. "Come on ladies, let me through. Nothing worth seeing here." I tried to joke.

"Oohh I beg to differ Edward. There would be so much to see here, if you just relaxed." A blonde haired girl was marching her fingers up my arm and I shuddered with the thought of anyone's hands being on me but Bella. I took that moment to look up towards Bella and saw that she was now looking at me with…… amusement. Huh? Where was the hurt and anger I was expecting? Alice was speaking into her ear with a tense look on her face but when Bella turned to answer her Alice's face relaxed into a knowing smile and she nodded her head. Bella took a slow sip of her drink and winked at me. My god, my girlfriend just winked at me and it did more to my insides than any of these vultures could, who currently had their dirty paws on me. Was she serious? She grinned at me and I couldn't help but grin right back. At this moment in time it seemed like we were the only two people in the room and I wasn't being circled by these crazy women. I shrugged my shoulders gently to show her that I wasn't here by choice and her smile broadened even more.

"Need help?" she mouthed and I quickly nodded. As I did so one of the girls grabbed my chin to try and lay a kiss on my lips and I threw back my head to deny her the touch. "What the hell?" I hissed at her in anger before looking at Bella who now had a flash of irritation cross her face. She had passed her drink to Alice, who had a gobsmacked look on her own face, and was walking steadily towards me. I was frozen into place, enthralled with her confident swagger and wondering what she was about to do.

"Hi girls. I was wondering if I could have my boyfriend back? There is someone I want him to speak to." Most of the girls moved back slightly, eyeing Bella regretfully, so that I now had a free run back to the spot where Alice was standing, except for the blonde haired girl who had tried to kiss me and who was still clutching my arm. Bella noticed that she hadn't let go and a look of challenge crossed her features.

"I can see that your curious so here, let me show you…… this is the way to kiss Edward," Bella stepped right up to me and cradled my head between her hands and moved her lips so that they were requesting entrance. I didn't deny her even though we were in a public place where the attention was suddenly on us, and what Bella was doing to stake her claim. Without thought I was kissing her with a passion that would have been better saved for a more private moment but I couldn't help it. She was so incredibly hot and she was making sure this girl knew I was hers. When her lips finally left mine I glimpsed the desire in her eyes before she turned haughtily to the girl who had now dropped her hand from my arm and spoke with a confidence I had never heard her use.

"Not that you will ever get the chance to do so…. but that is the way it's done." Bella reached down to take my hand in hers and I let her guide me back to my sister who was now cracking up in absolute glee.

"Oh my god Bella, that was awesome. You showed her not to muck around with someone else's man. She's tried it with Jasper before and I wish I had have reacted as coolly as you just did. Priceless."

Bella was glowing with pride as I searched her face, waiting for her to tell me off for getting in that situation in the first place. There was nothing there to suggest she would do so.

"Aren't you mad at me?" I questioned in confusion.

"Pfft. What for? It was very evident that you weren't comfortable and they were only having a bit of fun with you. Well they were until the viper decided to try and kiss you. That was so not going to happen." Bella sighed in exasperation and then her demeanour changed. "I didn't embarrass you did I? That's not what I meant to do."

"Hell no, Bella. What just happened was friggin hot. I loved being claimed as yours. I don't give a shit who saw it."

The night continued uneventfully and I kept myself by Bella's side for the entirety of it. When Rose and Bella headed in to use the powder room I grabbed Alice who was about to follow too and asked her the question I had been wanting to ask all night.

"Alice what did Bella say to you to make you stop worrying about what was happening with those girls tonight?"

", I was really concerned that she would think something was going on or that you were enjoying the attention so I started to tell her that she had nothing to worry about; that you only loved her and those girl's were just being try hards. She turned to me with a huge smile and said in all honesty, word for word 'Alice your brother travelled across half the country to make sure I understood the level of commitment and love he had for me. I will never, ever doubt him again. Edward is mine and always will be. Besides you have to feel kind of sorry for those girls, don't you?' "

Alice lifted her eyebrows at me. "I can only imagine what you did to deserve that level of trust and understanding Edward but whatever it was, good on you. Bella is completely sure of your love and that is the way it should be."

Relief coursed through me. Bella finally understood the inexplicable manner in which I loved her. She was willing to admit that there was no one else but her for me and she had made it quite clear that she saw me as hers.

This night hadn't turned out so badly after all and now I had going home to look forward to.

**A/N – Please be lenient about my foster care assumptions here. I know that every country has a different approach to foster care so if I have made mistakes for how it is in the US, please excuse them. I am very aware of how it works in Australia but it could be different for you guys. We have a foster care week where a range of activities occur for foster kids and their families/carers. Quite often well known performers give their time to give a little back to these kids who have had a hard life.**

**Thanks for being understanding about this.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**


	42. Chapter 42: Some R & R

Chapter 42

BPOV – Some R & R

"I can't believe I am here again," Angela sighed with satisfaction and I very nearly followed suit. "Bella, who would have ever thought we would be spending Christmas all together in a hot place, enjoying the sunshine, lying on the beach. Geez girl, you meeting Edward has really changed all our lives and I, for one, am loving it." She gave me a cheeky grin as she stretched out on her towel and placed her head in her arms so that she could still see my reaction.

I knew exactly what Angela meant. This time last year, who would have ever imagined that we would be sitting on a beach in Thailand, enjoying the benefits of the Cullens private hideaway, celebrating Christmas without a care in the world. It almost seemed too good to be true, but here we were, lounging on towels, watching our friends romp playfully in the water.

"I can't believe it either Angela. My life has turned into this whirlwind of excitement – some of it good and some of it bad but the fact that I have Edward in it, well that makes it all worthwhile. I can not imagine living without him now." Angela was nodding her head in understanding.

It had been five days since Cullen Alliance had played their last concert of their tour and it had been a big one. Alice had arranged for all of the people they regarded as close friends to be there and I was so happy to note that the closest people to me had been included in that invitation. Angela, Ben, Jacob, Seth, Ellie and I joined the Cullens and their friends for one huge party. It had been a blast but the very best thing about the whole night was the knowledge that Edward would now be moving closer to me to record their album. There would be no huge long separations until well into next year and the thought made me beyond happy. I couldn't wait to share some normalcy with him; well relative normalcy anyway.

Two days ago we arrived in Thailand to be introduced to the Cullen Hideaway; their very own island. Who on earth has their own island at their disposal? Once we were here I understood how important this place was to Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. Here they had complete privacy and that was what they needed above all else after the long slug of their exhausting tour. Without media intervention they were free to relax and do whatever it was they wanted to do. No scrutiny, no pretense; just being together as a family celebrating the holidays. Again they demonstrated our importance in their lives by inviting not only my friends but my family, to this little bit of paradise so that we were all together for Christmas. I was still pinching myself to believe that this was all really true and not just some creative jump in my imagination. Along with my hordes came the Cullen's closest friends the Denali's; Carmen and Eleazar with their three girls Irina, Kate and grudgingly Tanya. I had expected to dislike Tanya just on the basis that she was Edward's ex, and let's face it incredibly beautiful while I was every kind of average, but when we had met at the band's last night of tour I had found myself unable to keep myself from liking her. She was pretty down to earth and had instantly made me feel like I was part of their large extended family. It obviously helped that she seemed very much in love with the doting man by her side, Carlos, who she introduced as her fiancé but we had slipped into an easy friendship where I pretended that Edward had never succumbed to her beauty, ever. She made it very easy to keep that pretense up, never stepping over the line with her interactions with Edward. Kate's husband, Garrett had also joined us.

The loud shouts of the boys and squeals of laughter from everyone brought me out of my reverie and back to the present to see that a game of volleyball was now being played at the water's edge. I watched with amusement as the boys tried ridiculous dives to ensure that the ball never met the sand, sometimes crashing into one another with loud smacks but always going back for more. Alice, Rosalie, Kate, Irina, Tanya and Ellie weren't quite as gung ho but they seemed to be having a great time watching their counterparts make fools of themselves in the name of winning. I grinned like a mad person when I saw Edward and Jacob high five one another after a winning shot for their team, thinking how glad I was that the two of them were now so comfortable with one another.

I gathered the pieces of my hair back into a ponytail and continued to eye the group as I spoke to Angela.

"I just wish Jacob would find someone special too," I sighed. Jacob was too good a catch to go without someone loving him completely.

"What about Leah? She arrives tomorrow with your dad and Sue. I always thought the two of them could have had something if he hadn't been so busy pining away for you."

I thought seriously about Angela's words even as I flicked some sand towards her to show I didn't appreciate being reminded that, up until not so long ago, Jacob thought we still had a chance together.

"I really don't think she is his type. She seems so….. so full of anger or something. I never completely feel comfortable when she is around. I am a bit nervous about how she is going to fit in, to be completely honest with you Angela. She is only coming because Sue and Seth will be spending Christmas here and it made sense that she would as well to be with her family but…….I guess they could have a chance together." I bit my lip at the thought. I truly wanted Jacob to be happy and I knew that he was hoping for someone special to come into his life, so if Leah ended up being that person I would try my hardest to believe it was the right thing.

Edward was jogging up through the sand and I took a moment to allow my thoughts to be consumed by him and the absolute godlike physique he was displaying as his body moved gracefully towards me and everything moved in the most perfect of ways. That man was astoundingly beautiful and I felt myself react to him in the way I always do; with a slight sense of awe and desire knowing that he was all mine. When he finally reached my side and I looked up towards him, squinting my eyes against the sunlight I almost melted at the unbridled look of happiness on his face. Edward was relaxed and in his element and that in itself made me happy.

"Hey beautiful." He sat down next to me and I felt the coldness of his wet hands as they trailed lazy circles on the back of my bikini clad body. I murmured in satisfaction at the sensation. He leant down so that only I could hear his words.

"I came up here to see if you would like to join our game but now I think I might just stay right here and enjoy the view instead." I sighed as his lips met my ear in a light kiss. "Bella Swan, you are beyond distracting when you look so damn good in that bikini. It should be illegal." His words sent a burn through my body and I slightly turned so that my lips could grasp his in a needy kiss. He responded straight away and I was yet again lost to him.

"Ahem. I am still sitting here you two. Keep that kind of stuff for the privacy of your own bungalow, thanks very much." My eyes darted open to take in Angela lightly shaking her head at our public display of affection but I could tell she was more amused than disgusted.

"Ok, ok," I pushed against Edward so we weren't so close and offered him my hand so that he could help me up from the towel. "I think joining the game is a good idea right now," I teased as he pulled me into his arms, giving me a quick peck on my lips before dragging me down to join our friends. "Coming Angela?"

Angela followed and the rest of the afternoon was spent as a group of friends enjoying the sun, surf and sea. Life could not be any more idyllic.

################################

Christmas morning dawned bright and sunny – a stark contradiction to the overcast and cold weather we were used to for our regular Christmases. The other main difference was that for the first time I woke up entwined in Edward's arms and light kisses being rained down on my neck and face as he wished me a merry Christmas. Now that was the best Christmas present a girl could get. I pulled him towards me and gave him back the gift of my mouth and he groaned before telling me that there was no time for that; we needed to get up so that we could meet everyone else in the lounge area for the opening of our presents. I grudgingly complied to his demand for us to get up and ready and soon we were sitting amongst our friends and family waiting for the final stragglers to come in so that we could open our presents.

My mind wandered as I took in those sitting around us. Esme and Carlisle were beaming with happiness as they laughed with Sue and Charlie about how big our group actually was and how long it was going to take getting through the whole opening of presents tradition. Alice was sitting cross legged at the tree waiting to fulfil her job of handing out the presents while Jasper sat beside her, lovingly rubbing her knee to keep her calm while we waited to begin. Edward had warned me that Alice took her job very seriously and that no one was to step on her toes during her completing it. I laughed at the thought of someone trying to upstage her during the process. It would be an entertaining part of the day. I almost wished that someone would have the guts to do so. It definitely wouldn't be me though.

Ben, Angela, Seth and Ellie were talking quietly amongst themselves about the differences this year's Christmas was going to bring but they all seemed to be happy about it, although I knew that Angela was a little saddened that she would not see her parents and brothers on Christmas day. Edward had made it quite clear that they were invited to come as well but Angela's dad's job as minister meant he needed to be at home with his congregation and of course, Angela's mother had chosen to stay with him. Angela had almost chosen to do so as well except that her mother had gotten into her ear and told her to take the experience for what it was and enjoy her time celebrating in a different way, so here she was with us instead. Jacob had been in a similar boat with regards to his family but Billy had insisted that he would be fine spending the holiday with his daughters so Jacob was happy to join us.

Renee and Phil were talking baseball with Jacob, Leah and Irina and I was happy to see that they were fitting right in, considering they had never met any of the Cullens or respective friends. I looked across at my dad and felt even happier to know that for the first time, in a long time, he was celebrating Christmas without the spectre of my mother hanging over his head. He had found his own way now and Sue and her family had given him a greater sense of belonging.

Tanya left the side of her fiancé and her parents as she skipped across the room and headed out the door calling out over her shoulder.

"I might just let that sister of mine, and her husband, know that they are holding us all up. We will never get to that scrumptious lunch of ours if these presents don't get opened."

We all chuckled and looked at the huge tree that graced the room. Underneath, the quantity of presents was mammoth. I had never seen anything like it and wondered again if we would ever get through them all. I anxiously bit my lip, thinking about the present I had for Edward. It worried me that it wasn't enough or maybe even a bit silly because what do you get a person who has everything?

I leant into Edward and breathed in his scent to get rid of my negative thoughts. Edward would love anything I gave him. He wasn't some stuck up person who would ridicule my efforts. He squeezed my shoulder in response and lightly twirled my hair around his finger.

"This is going to be the best Christmas ever sweetheart. Everyone who is important to us is together."

Tanya stalked back into the room haughtily and within twenty seconds Kate and Garrett followed her looking quite embarrassed and chastised. "Sorry," they mumbled and a few of us gave them commiserating glances before we all made ourselves comfortable around the tree.

Alice clapped her hands in excitement. "It's time," she exclaimed and started working her way through the presents, handing each person one that belonged to them before taking one for herself. We had been told the rules the night before so we were all aware that we would all get a present each before opening at the one time. Soft exclamations of excitement and appreciation could be heard all around the room as we opened our first present. Mine had been from my mother and Phil and was a beautiful bottle of perfume that I immediately tried out on my wrist. I smiled wistfully as Edward grabbed my wrist and held it to his nose to take in the new aroma. "Hmmmm. Very nice Bella but then again you always smell good to me."

Edward had received some kind of fancy guitar pick, from Emmett and Rose, that he almost lost his mind over. Not knowing about those kinds of things I trusted that he would tell me the significance of it at a later time and left him to continue patting Emmetts' back and taking Rose into a bone crushing hug to show his appreciation.

The morning continued in much the same way. Oohs and ahhs were flung around freely as we shared our gifts and thanked one another for choosing so well. My pile of presents got bigger and bigger and I had never felt so spoiled in all my life. Alice and Jasper had bought me a gorgeous powder blue silk dress and Rose and Emmett had given me a lovely pair of low heeled shoes to match it. Obviously Alice and Rose had shopped together for their gifts. Charlie and Sue gave me a special addition of my favourite book "Wuthering Heights," which I kissed them for over and over again. I had been searching for this particular edition for months and to know that they had taken the time to get it for me was heartwarming to say the least. Seth and Ellie had given me a boxed set of the True Blood series because Seth knew it was my guilty little secret and loved teasing me to death when he came home to find me watching it on television and Angela and Ben gave me their annual gift of a beautifully bound diary for all my thoughts and plans to be written in during the upcoming year. Jake's present was an intricately woven dream catcher that I knew would find pride of place above my bed at home as soon as we were back. Carlisle and Esme had given everyone the gift of plane tickets to attend Christmas in Thailand which we had all received weeks before.

"So this one is yours Bella and this one is for Edward," Alice chimed as she handed us the gifts we had got for each other. We smiled in thanks and then looked at one another. My nervousness came forth again hoping that I had got him the right kind of gift.

"You open yours first babe." Edward encouraged, nodding at the small neatly wrapped package that I was holding in my hand. I slowly maneuvered the paper off the gift to reveal a small box. My head swiveled up to see Edward's enthusiastic face and then I searched to see if everyone else was looking at me. Noone was; everyone was concentrating on their own gifts and the people they were giving them to so I forced myself to relax and open up what Edward had chosen for me. When I opened the box I gasped at the beautiful charm bracelet that sat within it.

"Oh Edward, it is gorgeous," I held it up to take a closer look at the charms hanging from it and Edward beamed with pride.

"Each charm means something Bella," Edward spoke softly and began pointing at each one. "The piano is to remind you of me and for the first time you heard me play your song. You unknowingly made me open up to you so much and I knew then that I was going to struggle to keep away from you." He reached forward and kissed my mouth which I had no doubt would be opened in a surprised expression.

"The apple is for New York because that is where you made me come to my senses and not miss out on all of this," He motioned between the two of us and I chuckled softly at his words.

"The Christmas tree is self explanatory. I want you to look at it and remember our first Christmas together…… and the final one is a heart." He took the bracelet from my shaking hands and placed it around my wrist as he spoke. "That, Bella, is meant to remind you of us and how much I love you." He kissed the back of my hand as he admired how the bracelet fit perfectly. "This is just the start. I am hoping that we can get many more charms to add to it as we continue experiencing life together."

My throat was constricted and I couldn't speak to let him know how much this gift meant to me. I looked up at him in awe and he smiled uncertainly at me, probably wondering why I hadn't said anything in response.

"Don't you like it?" he questioned worriedly. Those words pushed me beyond myself and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. When we pulled away from one another both of us were beaming.

"I take that as a yes then?" Edward seemed relieved and happy.

"God yes, Edward. I have never, ever had such a perfect gift before. It is so amazingly thoughtful. You had me speechless thinking about how carefully you had chosen everything. Thank you, thank you. I truly will treasure it."

Edward seemed remarkably pleased with himself. "You deserve it, Bella. I want you to know that even when we are not together, for whatever reason, you have this to look at to remind you of all the great things about us and how there will always be more to add."

My eyes itched a little as I listened to his heart felt words. I could feel the tears coming and didn't want to allow them free reign so I kissed him once more and then changed the course of our discussion.

"So it is your turn Edward. Open my gift to you."

He lifted the present up and shook it lightly next to his ear. There was a fair amount of weight to it so I knew his lighthearted guess that it was a new sweater wasn't what he really thought. I began to play with my lips between my teeth as I worried about his thoughts on what I had done. I had put quite a lot of work into it and had bugged quite a number of people in order to get this done.

When the paper was off Edward had a large leather bound book in his hands and he was searching my face for any clues about what it was. I lifted my lips up in a self conscious smile and he returned with his own lopsided grin before opening the book to its first page. Surprise lined his face as he slowly worked his way through the book and with each turn of a page I saw his expressions change continuously as he contemplated what I had done. When he finally reached the end of the book and lifted his head to gaze at me he did so with watery eyes.

"My god Bella. This is beyond anything anyone has ever done for me. It is indescribable," He reached up to place his hand at the back of my neck and let his thumb slide across the side of my face. "I don't know how you did it but thank you."

"Well, you have a gift Edward Cullen and it should be showcased in a way that can be enjoyed for years to come. Really you did all the hard work and I just put it altogether for you."

Edward started back at the beginning again taking more care to look at every aspect of the pages in front of him. I leant my head against his shoulder and took it all in as well. I had learnt a lot about him in the process of making this gift.

"How on earth did you get all of these Bella? Some of them I haven't seen in years. This first piece of writing here I would have imagined was thrown out years ago." He laughed at the very child like writing that appeared on this page along with a picture of himself as an eight year old.

"Never estimate a mother's pride Edward. Esme helped me find some of your older compositions that she had saved. Every one of them had a story behind them so I tried to find pictures that reflect that. Needless to say your mum and I have spent a bit of time with each other over the past few months. Apparently this piece of writing was your first attempt at song writing. I thought it was incredibly sweet. Your mum said she could see your potential even back then but had no idea what it would bring for your future."

Edward kept searching the pages as we saw the evidence of his ability to write songs and compositions develop. I had worked with Esme and Jasper to find as many pieces of Edward's work as I could from over the years. I had then organised them, and had it professionally put together, so that the book had the words of each song done in calligraphy and was then followed by Edward's original musical composition that went with it. Then a photo that showed something about the time or the feeling behind the piece had been added at intervals to showcase Edward's talent. Sometimes the photos were of family members, sometimes they were of places and towards the end I had proudly placed the song Edward had written for me along with a photo that Rose had taken of the two of us weeks ago after the foster care picnic, looking very much in love. It was one of my favourites and Edward had never seen it.

"Wow I love this photo Bella. You look like an angel, all flushed and happy." Edward marveled and then seriously gazed at me. "This whole book is really something special Bella. I love it. Thank you so much for thinking enough of what I do to make something that shows what I've done over all these years." Edward had pulled me towards him and buried his face into the softness of my hair. "You know me so well Bella. You understand that my writing is not about being famous but more about expressing myself. The photos you have chosen show just how much you understand that."

We held each other for a brief moment before returning our attention to what was going on around us. The room was a colourful mess of ripped paper with everyone's presents piled next to them. My friends and family were hugging each other, exclaiming at the gifts each other had received and showing their appreciation for everything they had. It was such a joyful display of family and closeness that I felt my eyes prick with almost tears. I wasn't normally one for presents and the such but given that everyone was partaking in the activity and the attention was not solely on me I found myself relaxing and going with the flow. Christmas morning had turned out quite well.

Christmas lunch was another major feat that Esme had organised with precision and pizzazz, as she needed to, considering the twenty five people she had to feed and seat. Moving away from the traditional roast dinner that we normally had, Esme had organized a buffet of delectable seafood dishes that we were all soon moaning and groaning about as we found ourselves full of good food and great wine and champagne. Oysters, lobster, prawns, fish, salmon and calamari all had their place on her perfectly laid table of goodies, along with the salads and rice dishes. It was another individually different aspect to our day of celebration that would remind us all of our time together in paradise. It was thoroughly enjoyable and everyone was having a great time together, exchanging stories of our lives and special events that had occurred over the past year.

We were taking a rest between the main meal and the dessert that was yet to come when Carlisle called for our attention and we all turned to listen to him eagerly.

"Esme and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being here to help us celebrate Christmas as family and friends. We really feel exceptionally blessed and fortunate to be able to share this special place with old and new friends, as well as our wonderful children who have always given us so much enjoyment. Alice, Jasper, Edward, Rose and Emmett – you are wonderful human beings and you continue to make our lives complete with the knowledge that you are happily pursuing life to its fullest degree and not losing yourselves in the process. We could not be any prouder of you all."

I scanned the faces of Esme and Carlisle's children and smiled softly at the looks of happiness and love that they were all projecting back at the man who had brought them all up in one way or another and who was now praising them for their efforts at life.

"Christmas is always a special time of the year, where we come together to celebrate the birth of Jesus as a family unit, but this year is especially unique because not only do we have our wonderful old friends the Denalis here but due to Edward literally running into our wonderful Bella," everyone chuckled at Carlisle's reference to Edward and my first meeting and I could feel the heat of embarrassment rise into my face as Edward squeezed my hand in support for the sudden attention on me.

"and obviously falling for her as he undoubtedly should have, we have been able to get to know all of you and here we are now as one huge extended family. Esme and I could not be any happier with this outcome and we sincerely hope that we get to share many more celebratory milestones with all of you. Merry Christmas and enjoy!"

Everyone gave a huge cheer in response to Carlisle's words and then Carlisle lifted his wine glass and turned to Esme.

"and lastly I would just like to thank my beautiful wife for not only being the best wife and mother that anyone could wish for but also for giving us the loveliest, albeit different, Christmas lunch imaginable. You definitely are the hostess with the mostest my darling Esme and we appreciate it."

Esme sweetly smiled at her husband and we all lifted our glasses to show our own appreciation for what she had achieved here today. Charlie gave Jake a meaningful glance and Jacob stood up in response.

"Carlisle and Esme. We would also like to add our own thanks to your own. Thank you for sharing your wonderful hideaway with all of us and giving us this unbelievably wonderful day together with good food and great company. Each and every one of us appreciates your hospitality and kindness. A toast to Esme and Carlisle for making us all feel so welcome"

Everyone lifted their glasses again and I had to keep my amusement in at my dad's inability to speak, as he nodded at Jacob in thanks for doing what he would have liked to feel confident enough to do. Esme blushed before she embarrassedly got up to get our dessert ready in the kitchen. Carmen, Renee and Sue followed her to help as we continued our own discussions in the dining area, overlooking the sea.

By the end of lunch everyone was completely sated and ready for an afternoon of doing nothing but lounge around allowing our food and drink to settle. The afternoon passed in companionable quiet discussions and light teasing as we continued to enjoy the festive feeling of all being together and getting to know one another better. Christmas day had definitely been a complete success.

"Are you happy love?" Edward spoke softly as he ran his hands up and down my arm as I lay curled up next to him on a sun lounge, watching the waves of the ocean run in and out.

"Hmmm. Perfectly," I purred contently.

"Good because that's all I ever want for you." He reached down and kissed my shoulder lightly.

"Well it's not hard while you are around Edward," I answered sincerely and he squeezed me closer to himself.

"Well we will have to make sure that happens more often then, won't we?"

"Sounds good to me, babe. Sounds really good to me."

##############################################

"Stay still," Alice hissed at me as I squirmed in the seat she had forced me into over an hour ago. We were in her and Jasper's bungalow and she was helping me get ready for a night out with Edward, but personally I thought she was taking it too far. The days since Christmas had been informal and full of complete relaxation so this sudden interest in making me look completely immaculate for a night out in Thailand seemed a bit out of place. Added to my frustration was the fact that I had not seen Edward for most of the afternoon and I didn't like it. I had become so used to him being around at all times that I was finding it difficult to be away for him for the prolonged amount of time that he had been gone, off on an errand with Jasper and Emmett.

"Alice you have been working on my hair forever and I am pretty sure that once I get in that speedboat and we are heading towards the main land that it is going to be ruined within minutes. It looks great to me anyway and I am sure Edward will like it the way it is."

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Tonight is your first opportunity to be alone with Edward since we got here. I don't think it will hurt you to make an effort to look good for him. Never get complacent about making sure your man appreciates you and your beauty. Sure he will love you anyway but," she pulled at a piece of hair that had strayed from the place she had placed it. "….he will worship you when you appear before him like the goddess you are capable of being."

"Alice is right," Rose interrupted my thoughts of how to respond to Alice's passionate words. "Our boys love us for being us but they still appreciate being given some eye candy at the same time. Edward is no different."

"Ok, ok," I gave in. Edward had made a huge effort in making sure that all of my friends and myself were having the holiday of a lifetime here so the least I could do was give him a bit of girly appreciation.

Once Alice put the final touches on my makeup she turned me towards Rose who was holding up the blue dress that Alice and Jasper had given me for Christmas. I touched it appreciatively, loving the feel of the silky material against my skin. Rose left me alone to get changed after ensuring that I had the appropriate matching lingerie to put on under it, that she and Alice had given me in private as another Christmas gift. I maneuvered the dress on over my head and quickly stepped into the shoes that Rose and Emmett had given me before giving the two of them the okay to head back in.

"Awwwww Bella. You look beautiful. My brother is going to be salivating when he sees how good you look," Alice enthusiastically stated and Rose nodded in agreeance. Rose stepped forward and made me stand in front of the full length mirror that hung behind the door, forcing me to take in my own appearance. I was pleasantly surprised with the whole look I had been given for my special date with Edward. Alice truly was good at bringing out my best attributes and still allowing me to look like myself. I swirled around to give her a very heartfelt hug and then gave one to Rose as well.

"Thanks you two. With you around I can sometimes feel like I might not always be just plain average." I joked but it fell flat with Rose and Alice.

"You are never just average, Bella. You need to get that out of your head real quick, my friend." Alice admonished and then directed me towards the door. "Come on let's get you out to my brother. He will be waiting impatiently to get you to himself for the evening."

The three of us walked quietly through the tropical gardens of the Cullen's hideaway as we headed towards the general building where we usually all congregated for meals and entertainment. We passed a number of bungalows on the way and I absent mindedly wondered what all of my friends would be doing tonight while I was away. I was so enjoying having all my friends together for this amazing holiday but I had to admit that I was looking forward to an evening where it was just Edward and I. We had been surrounded by people the whole time we had been here, except at night when we returned to the solitude of our own bungalow. Knowing we would be eating, chatting and just spending alone time together was giving me butterflies that had everything to do with my gorgeous boyfriend.

When we reached the main building it was unusually quiet so I knew that everyone had found alternative places to be for the afternoon and early evening, whether it be at the beach or on another part of the island I was not sure. Regardless I knew that everyone would be enjoying their time immensely.

Inside I found Edward leaning against the door leading out to the verandah which overlooked the beach and ocean with a huge smirk on his face. Once he realized I had entered his attention was on me and the smirk turned into a huge welcoming smile as he silently appraised my appearance before he was quickly in front of me.

"Gorgeous, Bella. You never cease to amaze me with how beautiful you look." He pulled me into his arms and I returned his compliment letting him know that he looked gorgeous in his lose fitting pants and buttoned down blue shirt that revealed just a touch of his chiseled chest for me to ogle.

"Okay that is our cue to leave. I just wanted to make sure that you valued the beauty before you Edward. Rose and I have our own plans with our respective partners tonight so you guys enjoy whatever it is that Edward has planned and we will see you in the morning." Alice gave Edward and I a huge grin and Rose winked directly at Edward which made me blush without warning.

"So what were you smirking at when I first walked in Mr Cullen?" I questioned to help myself relax.

"Ahhh. You saw that did you? Come with me and I will show you." He confidently escorted me across the room back to the verandah and I watched with my own rising happiness as I saw what had tickled his fancy. At the water's edge, Jacob and Irina were playfully teasing one another with water and the occasional quick dunk in the deeper water. They were getting on extremely well, brushing up against each other at any opportunity and my own grin got bigger.

"Seems that your Jacob has finally found someone to live up to the perfection that is you, my dear Bella," I gave him a quick whack with my hand and he laughed at my embarrassment. "although how he could even compare Irina to you is way beyond me but hell if it makes him happy I am all for it. As much as I like the guy, I would much prefer he had eyes for someone other than my girl."

"Be serious Edward. He hasn't been like that towards me for ages now, since he realized how serious I was about you." Edward raised one eyebrow at me and I shook my head and chose to ignore his innuendo "This is wonderful. They did seem to be getting on well over the past few days and if this is the start of some big romance for him I am all for it too. Jake really does deserve it Edward."

Edward's arm snaked around my shoulder and he gently pulled me closer to himself. "I know he does love and Irina is a really cool girl. Let's keep our fingers crossed that something will come out of it."

"You know Angela thought that maybe Leah and Jacob would get together these holidays," I told him confidentially.

"Really? I would never have picked those two as being suited. He is always so happy, except of course when he is being all protective about you, and she kind of has this whole 'don't get too close to me' demeanour'. Besides Seth told me that she had just started seeing someone new before she got here."

"I have to admit I agree with you. I don't think I would have felt comfortable knowing that she might be the one for Jacob. I am happy that maybe she will find herself happier once she settles into this relationship with the new guy. I wonder who it is?"

"Really don't know Bella but now it is time for us to begin our night – just the two of us. Are you ready?"

Soon we found ourselves down at the wharf and Edward was carefully helping me into the speed boat so that I was comfortably seated before he started the engine. I was surprised to see that he would be the driver tonight as the Cullen's had a man who would take us anywhere we wanted at the drop of a hat and I expected Edward to utilize him so that he could have a drink with dinner, but my thoughts soon flew by the wayside when Edward set the boat into its fast mode and I felt the exhilaration of flying through the gradual darkening of the evening.

Edward and I exchanged small chat as I watched him skillfully handle the boat across the waves. I knew that we were heading towards the main land because Edward had spoken of how he wanted me to experience the food served at a particular favourite restaurant of his over there and how he wanted to do it with just the two of us. Therefore when he took a sudden turn so that the boat was heading towards a different part of the same island we were staying at I was more than a little disconcerted and Edward had to reach out to me with one hand to keep me upstanding.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." Edward stated with enthusiasm.

"But you told me we were going to the mainland to go to your favourite restaurant." My confusion only added to his enjoyment of the situation.

"I said that I wanted you to experience the food of my favourite restaurant. I never said we were actually going there. I have something special planned for us Bella and we are almost there so be patient sweetheart. I promise it will be just you and me and I promise you will enjoy it. Trust me."

I relaxed myself into the crook of his arm while he continued to guide the boat across the ocean and I watched the sky darkening so that the island was in shadows as we zoomed past it. Edward explained to me, over the roar of the engines, that the only part of the island that was inhabited was the area where we were all staying which used to be a resort before Carlisle and the Cullen Alliance crew had invested in it for their own purposes. As he ended his explanation of why they had all made that decision we rounded the jutting out part of the island and all of a sudden the darkness was broken by the twinkling of lights in the distance.

"What's that then?" I questioned, wondering why we could see lights in an area that was meant to be uninhabitated.

"That's where we are heading. That is our little bit of peaceful paradise this evening," he told me proudly.

As we neared the small cove I could see that what was in front of us was a mirage of twinkling fairly lights that had been strung around one cleared area where a low table and a range of large cushions had been placed. I gasped in absolute awe as I saw the evidence of what Edward had set up to make tonight a special night for us. He gently handled the boat so that it was close to the beach before anchoring it and then taking my hand to help me off the boat and onto the sand. The awestruck expression on my face must have been amusing to Edward because he was laughing at me as he watched me take in the beautiful set up, completely unable to move my legs to head towards it.

"What do you think?" He breathed between his guffaws.

"I think that it has just hit me that I have been having the most glorious dream where Edward Cullen is my boyfriend and he keeps doing amazingly thoughtful and beautiful things for me and that any moment now I am going to wake up to find that he is just a very creative figment of my imagination…. and I will be back in my normal and dull life…… and that I have never actually met him and forever more I will be searching for a man who lives up to the expectations of my dream man and all of them will fall way too short ……so I will live to be an old cantankerous spinster who never finds true love." I took a breath to watch the surprise cross Edward's face as he took in my rambling and then broke into even more of his laughter.

"Oh you can laugh Mr Dream Edward but I know you can't possibly be real and this can't possibly be happening to normal Bella Swan. It is way more than I even remotely deserve."

Edward began to pepper sweet kisses onto my face as he tried to control his laughter. "Bella, you are the most beautiful, sweetest, gorgeous woman I have ever met and you make my life so much better by being in it. I can assure you that I am real and I can assure you that tonight is really happening. Tonight I am going to show you just how much I love you and how real the two of us together. All you need to do is start walking so that we can get to our dinner and I can start spoiling you the way I have been planning all day.

"Ok Edward but just in case I do wake up before this gets any more perfect I want to let you know that I love you and no one could ask for a better boyfriend than you, regardless if it is in reality or in my dreams. You are the absolute best."

"And you are an absolute delight, Bella Swan." He took my hand to lead me up the sand to our own little oasis and I could do nothing but follow. For the millionth time I had to ask myself the question "How did I get to be so lucky?"


	43. Chapter 43: Romance

**There are three people I would like to mention here and dedicate this chapter too because they are a constant support to me, and this story, by reviewing every single chapter. **

**Bunch2009**

**Emmauk26**

**Monique2401**

**You girls make me smile every time and I thank you for that.**

**Enjoy the romance! You never know how long it's going to last ;)**

Chapter 43

EPOV – Romance

The evening needed to be perfect so I had roped in Emmett and Jasper to help me get it all just right. We spent the afternoon setting up the area in my favourite little secluded cove on the island so that it mirrored an intimate little restaurant, twinkling lights and all. Jasper had organised a small generator to run the lights off, as well as a place to run music off, since the spot I had chosen was not inhabited at all. I marveled at his ability to find one that was almost silent as it powered on. I certainly didn't want the sound of machinery to ruin the mood I was endeavouring to illicit from this night. Emmett and I had set up a low table and threw huge cushions around for decoration and of course comfort. I had always enjoyed the Thai manner of sitting on cushions while eating meals and something about it made me feel it was perfect for a romantic meal with the girl I loved beyond anything else in this world. Emmett poked fun at me the whole time he helped me organize the chopsticks, serving utensils and glassware needed for the night and basically called me a wuss when I was getting the candles out ready to light once Bella and I arrived later on in the evening. I ignored his light hearted teasing because deep down I knew that not only would I do this a thousand times over in order to please Bella but I also knew that Emmett was silently happy that I was putting such an effort into the girl who had won all of our hearts, one way or another, over the past seven months.

Once we had completed the decorative aspect of the evening I turned my attention towards the culinary explosion I was hoping to give Bella. The three of us headed over to the mainland using our private speedboat and once there I sauntered towards my favourite restaurant, Jeps, to ensure they had my order filled to my satisfaction and that they were clear on the time I wanted them to deliver it to Bella and I on the island. I had paid a pretty price to have the luxury of hot food arriving from across the water but it would be well worth it when Bella got to taste the divine food that this restaurant served up, in the seclusion of our own company.

The three of us dropped into a bar and I brought a round of drinks to thank them for their help over the past few hours, and also to calm my nerves. It seemed like forever since Bella and I had enjoyed any real time together alone and I wanted it to be a night she would not forget. The past week and a half had been the best holiday imaginable. Having Bella to share Christmas with, along with her friends who had so readily taken me in as their own as well, had been a remarkable experience I had not thought I would ever get. My family were warm and loving but I had always been the extra wheel in a family of couples. This time I was in my own strong relationship and sharing that with Bella had been awesome. Now I wanted her to understand the extent of my love for her and tonight was the start of that.

Grabbing a couple of bottles of the bar's best wine as we left, Emmett, Jasper and I headed back to the boat to return to the island so I could get ready for my date. Jasper offered to make sure the drinks were placed in an oversized esky full of ice so that it was ready in the boat when we got to the cove.

Showering and dressing came without too much thought, except what my intentions were tonight for Bella. I made sure I had everything I needed including the small bag that Alice had packed without Bella's knowledge. When I was ready and had placed the bags in the boat down at the wharf I headed back to the lounge area of our place and tried unsuccessfully to relax while I waited for my angel. Soon I found myself drawn to the verandah and that is when I saw something that made me feel extremely relieved and somewhat happy. Jacob and Irina were enjoying time together on the beach; just the two of them spending quality time getting to know one another. Now that was a relationship to encourage. I knew Jacob had accepted Bella and I as a couple, but there were still times when I saw him look at her wistfully and it took everything I had not to go all caveman about those looks when I caught them. With a new relationship in the pipeline maybe he would let go of those feelings more fully and I could relax more into the comfortable friendship that we had been trying to establish for Bella's sake. I genuinely liked Jacob and wanted to see him happy with someone he could call his own. Just not my Bella. I knew that would make Bella happy as well.

The slight noise behind me alerted me to the presence of Bella in the room and I quickly noted that she looked as beautiful as ever. My attention was immediately drawn to her face; the chocolate warmth of her eyes as they twinkled with happiness at me and the gorgeous pink twinge of colour that adorned her cheeks, letting me know that she was excited about the prospect of it being the two of us tonight. I was transfixed by her beauty and knew nothing could compare to her.

"Gorgeous, Bella. You never cease to amaze me with how beautiful you look." I pulled her into my embrace because it's where she belonged and I loved the feel of her nuzzling into my chest. Her light touch against the skin where my shirt opened was already making me feel the warm stirrings of desire and I had to concentrate on her words.

"You don't look half bad yourself, Cullen. You fit those clothes quite nicely I have to say,"

"Okay that is our cue to leave." Alice moaned at our public display and I chuckled at her even as I held Bella closer. "I just wanted to make sure that you valued the beauty before you Edward. Rose and I have our own plans with our respective partners tonight so you guys enjoy whatever it is that Edward has planned and we will see you in the morning."

The two of them left but not before Rose winked at me. Both of the girls, along with Emmett and Jasper, were entirely aware of what I had planned for Bella tonight and were keen to see it all work out the way I wanted.

Bella's question, about what I was smirking at when they first came in, had me moving her to the verandah so that she could see for herself the playfulness between Jacob and Irina as they frolicked on the beach. I monitored her reaction to it carefully, hoping that she would be happy for Jacob and that there wouldn't be any sign of concern for what was happening between them. I was relieved to find that she was as happy about the situation as I was, even telling me that she was happy that it was Irina and not Leah, who Angela had suggested might be a good partner for Jacob earlier. I couldn't see that match happening and duly told her that before reminding her that tonight was about her and I and we needed to get going.

Once the two of us had settled ourselves into the boat and I started guiding it out towards the open water we began to chat about the holiday in general, over the sound of the powerful engine. I was enjoying the look of exhilaration that was very evident on Bella's face, knowing she was loving the speed and power of cutting through the ocean so I went a little further out than I had originally planned before quickly altering the passage of the boat and turning back towards the island we would be dining on. Bella fetched to her left and I quickly reached out to grab her before she fell in a mess of limbs on the floor of the boat. I chuckled quietly; that had been a little unfair of me surprising her in that manner.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked with curiosity and a whole lot of confusion.

"It's a surprise." I teased.

"But you told me we were going to the mainland to go to your favourite restaurant."

"I said that I wanted you to experience the food of my favourite restaurant. I never said we were actually going there. I have something special planned for us Bella and we are almost there so be patient sweetheart. I promise it will be just you and me and I promise you will enjoy it. Trust me."

The rest of the trip went quickly, with me explaining to Bella how we had come about purchasing our own island. It wasn't your normal purchase, I knew, but it had been very beneficial for all of us; giving us the privacy and relaxation we yearned for when things got a little out of control in our real world. Bella listened with clear interest. She was so easy to reveal my life to. By the time we reached the spot where my little surprise was waiting for us, the darkness had aided my hopes of making this all look as romantic as possible and I was more than pleased with Bella's awestruck expression as we anchored on the beach and I helped her off the boat.

"What do you think?" I questioned, never expecting the tirade of words she let go with.

"I think that it has just hit me that I have been having the most glorious dream where Edward Cullen is my boyfriend and he keeps doing amazingly thoughtful and beautiful things for me and that any moment now I am going to wake up to find that he is just a very creative figment of my imagination…. and I will be back in my normal and dull life… and that I have never actually met him and forever more I will be searching for a man who lives up to the expectations of my dream man and all of them will fall way too short …so I will live to be an old cantankerous spinster who never finds true love."

I couldn't help but laugh at her. What she was saying was almost exactly how I felt, with our roles reversed of course, but the way it all came out in one big surge of emotion was hilarious. I understood her though. Sometimes it felt like everything was way too perfect and that it couldn't possibly be true that this gorgeous girl in front of me could feel as strongly as I did. She was too perfect for me and hopefully she never recognised that, and stayed with me anyway.

"Oh you can laugh Mr Dream Edward but I know you can't possibly be real and this can't possibly be happening to normal Bella Swan. It is way more than I even remotely deserve."

I drew her to me, yet again and began to kiss all the features of her face that I loved so much; the whole time trying to contain my laughter.

"Bella, you are the most beautiful, sweetest, gorgeous woman I have ever met and you make my life so much better by being in it. I can assure you that I am real and I can assure you that tonight is really happening. Tonight I am going to show you just how much I love you and how real the two of us together. All you need to do is start walking so that we can get to our dinner and I can start spoiling you the way I have been planning all day."

"Ok Edward but just in case I do wake up before this gets any more perfect I want to let you know that I love you and no one could ask for a better boyfriend than you, regardless if it is in reality or in my dreams. You are the absolute best."

"And you are an absolute delight, Bella Swan." As I lead Bella up to the table and cushions I relished the feel of her petite hand in mine and also the thought of what the night ahead held for us. She let me know that I was a perfect boyfriend and I wanted to be more than that for her; I wanted her to know that she deserved every little thing I planned for her, tonight and every day afterwards.

Lighting the candles, as Bella looked on in contentment, took only moments and soon we were sitting quietly contemplating each other's faces in the soft light as I poured us each some wine. Bella sighed as our fingers brushed against one another and a slight shiver ran down my arm.

"Who would have ever thought the sexy famous rockstar was such a romantic, hmmm. Your fans would never let you be if they even got a glimpse of this side to you Edward."

"Luckily, I have no reason to show anyone else this side to me, but you, Bella" I grabbed her hand and caressed the back of it with my thumb. "My fans don't know anything about what makes me, me. You can't imagine what it feels like for me to now have someone to share who I really am with. I am so glad that it is you, Bella. The day I ran into you was the luckiest day of my life and I am thankful for you every single day."

The intensity of her chocolate eyes locked on mine as she leaned towards me painstakingly slowly, had my mind in a dither. Bella had absolutely no idea how she affected me. All I could do was try and listen to her softly sexy voice as I found myself distracted by those amazingly full lips that were about to connect with mine in ways that felt all too good.

"You stole my line Edward. I feel like the lucky one. Thank you for being willing to share yourself with me. It means everything."

I met her half way. I had to. Her whole person was calling to me and I needed to feel her lips so that I could reinforce that she was real. When her lips brushed against mine I could feel her breath hit my mouth and it was so sweet and so tender that I couldn't help but groan. The skin of her lips were soft like satin and they were irresistible so I allowed myself to focus entirely on them as I took her lower lip between mine and gently sucked. Bella moaned and shyly stroked back with her tongue. Everything was soft and gentle and it felt amazing. The only point of contact for us was our lips and there was something remarkably sensuous about that. We continued to explore each other's mouth slowly. There was no hurry here; just a potent need to be close in some sort of intimate way.

The sound of a boat engine broke through my dazed countenance and I unwillingly pulled my mouth away from Bella's. She shook her head in confusion. "No not yet, Edward please. I don't want to stop yet."

My lips grazed her cheeks and continued until I reached a point where I could whisper in her ear.

"We will not be alone in a minute Bella. We have all night for this but right now, we are about to get visitors."

Bella's look of shock was almost laughable. She sat up straight, back in the place she had been initially sitting and she was inadvertently wiping her lips, as if she could wipe away the evidence of us kissing from whoever it was that was about to invade our little bit of paradise.

"Should I be scared?" she questioned uncertainly.

I did laugh at that. "No silly. I organised this. They are invited guests and they won't be here long so relax. We have to eat and they will make sure we do."

Bella relaxed and smiled back at me to show that she was ready, although the embarrassed redness of her cheeks did not leave the whole time I covertly watched her as I organised the preparation of our dinner. Jeps had organised for two men to come out with all the ingredients needed for the menu I had planned and they quickly and very expertly set up a little gas stove area, placing their woks and saucepans on it so that they could cook our meal. Bella looked dumbstruck as she witnessed the whole process taking place.

"You have to be kidding me, don't you?" Bella squeaked and I looked back at her in amusement. "These guys are cooking our meal here? On a secluded beach, miles away from anywhere as if it is the most natural thing in the world to do."

"Well I wanted you to eat hot food Bella. It wouldn't have tasted the same if they had cooked it at the restaurant and then got it over here cold because of the distance."

Bella stood up to come over and watch the two guys fry up the already prepared food with a furrowed brow. "and this is normal for you Edward? Being able to organise something that is so out of this world?"

I curled my arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead lovingly. "Nope not normal, but tonight deserved something special so I went a little outside the box. Kavi and Luk here were more than happy to help me out. Weren't you guys?"

"Of course," the taller one of the two, Luk, grinned at Bella as he expertly moved the food around the pan. "Anything to make a romantic evening perfect I say."

"Well thank you for cooking for us," Bella stated shyly and the two men beamed at her even more than before. Bella had that effect on people. She made them feel special without even trying.

Within half an hour Bella and I were sitting back in our seats and a smorgasbord of thai dishes were sitting in front of us. Luk and Kavi had left after discretely packing up and getting onto their boat. The roar of their engine as they headed back to the mainland let us know that we were again alone.

"Definitely dreaming," Bella said softly as she made out to pinch her arm. "This food looks amazing. I can't believe you did this."

"Anything to make my girl happy," I declared "but now it is time to dig in otherwise we lose the whole benefit of having them come out to cook it here."

Bella readily agreed and soon we were dining on the most delicious dishes of Pad Thai, Pad See ew, Red and green curries and seafood stir fries. I watched Bella with satisfaction as she thoroughly enjoyed the food I had chosen for us to eat. Occasionally she would close her eyes in absolute rapture from the taste of a particular food and the action would make me want her all over again.

"You were right Edward. This food has to be the best Thai I have ever tasted. It's so fresh and tasty. Edward did you hear what I said?"

"Huh," I was too caught up in the moment of watching her expressions and delight that I hadn't fully taken in her words. "Oh yeh the food. Yep, totally delicious. They didn't let me down at all."

Bella laid back in the cushions with a sigh of utter contentment. "I can't eat another thing. I am so full. Thank you again for doing this for us Edward."

"My pleasure sweetheart," I responded whilst I moved over so that I could take her into my arms and have us both rest against the cushions. Her hair tickled my chin as she rested her head on my chest and held me securely with her arm across my stomach. "I have dessert ready in the esky but maybe we should wait a while for that,"

"Definitely. You've thought of everything haven't you?" She lifted her head to look at me with a teasing look in her eye.

"I hope so,"

We sat like that for a short while, enjoying our closeness without taking it anywhere, just small touches against each other's skin and quiet chatting about things that had happened over the past few months. After a while I needed to move because a tight ball of anxiety was beginning to make itself known in the pit of my stomach.

"Would you like to take a walk, along the beach before dessert, babe? It is the perfect night for it."

"Sounds wonderful." Bella breathed and I pulled her to her feet when she offered me her hand. We began to walk down towards the water and then followed its course so that our bare feet were squelching in the sand. The moon was full so the ocean was all lit up and the stars filled the sky. I couldn't have ordered a better night if I had tried.

Half way towards the rocks, that I knew to be at the end of this small beach, Bella suddenly stopped and moved closer to me, raising herself up on her tiptoes and leaning up to plant her lips on mine. Our lips seemed to meld into one before they spread open to allow our tongues to seek one another out. She grasped my hair and gently scratched my scalp as she pulled lightly. The sensation was exquisite and never failed in making me want to deepen our kisses. With our kisses and touches we were showing with actions how much we meant to one another, how much we really cared and it made my heart sing to know that this was not one sided. I could feel Bella's love with everything she did. With the moon and stars shining brightly and the waves crashing quietly on the beach, our kiss was travelling into a beautiful realm of fantasy that was hard to break away from and yet I knew we needed to. I had plans that needed to be followed through on and as special as this kiss was, I wasn't prepared for it to happen here. Our lips parted and Bella looked up at me with the dazed look that spoke volumes.

"You are incredibly special Edward. I could kiss you like that forever."

"I hope you always get to, love and you are special too." I allowed my hand to move from the back of her neck to graze down her arm and then clasp her hand. We walked back to the table, with tender desire following us every step of the way. I turned off the fairy lights so that we could see the night sky more clearly but left the candles lit to keep the romantic mood happening. We placed the table to the side and maneuvered the cushions around so that we could lie comfortably and stare up at the beautiful night sky. The sky was completely clear of clouds so the stars twinkled without any obstruction to dull their appearance. They looked like they were so close to us and Bella commented on this as we held hands tightly.

I turned away from the stars and placed myself on my side so that I could look at Bella easily. She echoed my action and we were facing one another. I was suddenly nervous and Bella must have caught it.

"Are you ok, babe?" She lifted her hand so that she could rub my cheek lovingly.

"Aha." I choked out and she furrowed her brow to show her concern. "Bella you know how much you mean to me right?" Bella's face instantly cleared and she smiled brightly at me.

"It's a bit hard not to know Edward. You do all these wonderful things for me and I feel like a princess."

"I'm glad because really, I can not imagine living in a world where I didn't have you next to me to enjoy everything with. You have changed my life in such incredible ways. You've made me realize that I am not alone against the world and you've pulled me back from the brink of desolation that I had been feeling for so long, just by being with me." Her clear eyes were twinkling with happiness mixed with sympathy as she took in my words. "I've always known the world I live in is false and it's something I had accepted because it was what I had chosen for myself but now…. now you have anchored me to the real world and it is so much better than I had ever expected. I can not explain exactly how much of a gift that is for me Bella except to tell you that I love you and let you know that because of you I am so much more than I have ever been."

"Oh Edward I love you too…so much and you have to know that you've changed my life too. It works both ways baby. Fate decided we should be together and I thank fate for that all the time."

"Fate did get it right this time," I answered and Bella giggled. The sound was music to my ears. I loved knowing she was happy. I wanted her to always be happy. "I know we haven't been together for all that long but I know it is right. In fact, nothing feels more right than you and I. When I am away from you, I need to be back with you; when we are together I need you to be even closer. You have engulfed every aspect of my life and I never want that to stop so….." I carefully pulled her up into a sitting position and knelt before her, fumbling for the item that had been sitting in my pocket all night. When I pulled it out, Bella gasped and her eyes widened in recognition as she placed her fisted hand against her chest, as if she was trying to keep her heart from beating right out of it.

"…..would you please consider sharing the rest of your life with me, Bella Swan? I love you with everything I have and I want you to be my wife. I want to spoil you and cherish you and have children with you. I want it all."

Bella didn't react and all I could read on her face was astonishment. Maybe I had misread the signs that we both felt the same way about one another. Maybe she could see herself as my girlfriend but not as my wife. Maybe asking this was taking it too far, too soon. The thought made me feel sick with anxiety. I did not know what I would do if she said no to my proposal.

Within the seconds it took me to convince myself that Bella didn't want me in the same way I wanted her, Bella's expression changed from astonishment to elation and her eyes began to water.

"Yes Edward. I want it all too. Everything….. but only with you. Yes, yes, yes I will be your wife." She flung herself into my chest and I caught her awkwardly before she was raining kisses onto any part of my face she could reach. I thought my chest was going to explode with the exhilaration of knowing that Bella had accepted me; she wanted the forever I envisioned for the two of us.

The ring was still burning a hole in my palm and definitely wasn't where it should be so I gently untangled myself from Bella's excited embrace and held her left hand up. She looked at me with excitement and a whole lot of love and I knew we were doing the right thing. I unhurriedly slipped the ring onto her finger, never breaking my gaze from hers. "I promise to love you every single day of forever."

Bella closed her eyes momentarily and when she opened them she smiled the most brilliantly beautiful smile right at me. " and I return that promise Edward. I love you so much it makes my heart ache." She looked embarrassed by her declaration and then looked down at the ring I had placed on her finger.

"This ring is beyond beautiful Edward." We both looked at the glittering gems on her finger and I was happy that the ring fit her so perfectly. The delicate band was made of gold and its face was long and oval shaped, embedded with slanting rows of round stones that picked up the candle light as Bella moved her hand from side to side in admiration. "It looks antique; so pretty."

"My grandmother gave it to me years ago and told me that when I found my special someone, this ring would be perfect for her. She was right Bella. I can't imagine anyone else wearing my grandmother's ring but you."

I knew beyond a doubt that Bella could hear the strong emotion behind my words because I couldn't contain it in any way. Bella was wearing my grandmother's ring and she was going to be my wife. Everything was right with my world.

"You're glowing, Edward Cullen." Bella spoke as if in awe "You look so happy right now."

I leant down to whisper in her ear. "You have no idea, Mrs Cullen to be."

Bella froze and her chest began to rise and fall in an irregular manner that told me she was trying hard to control herself. Before I knew what she was doing, she was kissing me with an exultant desperation. I couldn't help but respond and we were soon lying back down on the cushions, entwined in each others arms.

"Tell me this is not a dream Edward," Bella whispered against my mouth before running her tongue along the width of my lips, leaving the normal trail of fire in its wake.

"It's not a dream my beautiful bride to be. You and I will be husband and wife."

"Hmmmh. We need to celebrate then." Small kisses were being placed along my upper lip now and I was quickly losing any coherent thought except for the warm body that was lying under me and the tantalizing kisses she was teasing me with.

"Um sure. When we get back we will celebrate with everyone."

"Uh uh. That's not what I meant. We need to celebrate right now. I want you to make love to me Edward. I want to make love to you as your fiance." She pushed lightly and looked into my eyes as her hand reached for the buttons of my shirt and undid them one excruciating button at a time until I could shrug out of it and throw it somewhere beside us. She was running her hands between our bodies now, so that she could feel my chest and my arms. Every touch she gave sent me further into the pleasurable abyss of desire that was quickly overtaking me but it wasn't that that sent me over the edge and made me give Bella what she asked for; it was the alluring expression of love and need that illuminated Bella's beautiful eyes as she stared at me through hooded eyelids, waiting for my answer.

"With pleasure, love." I repositioned myself so that we were side by side facing one another and I could hitch her leg over my thigh and therefore reach for the hemline of her dress to pull it up towards the edge of her lingerie. My throat constricted as I felt the smooth creaminess of her upper thigh and then the contrast of roughness as my hand met the lacy underwear she was wearing. I had no doubt that Bella was wearing something exquisite under this dress, that I wanted so badly to remove, but I wouldn't yet because she needed to be worshipped and I was going to take this slowly. My fiancé deserved nothing less.

"Your skin is so soft and smooth Bella. It drives me crazy to think about it when we aren't alone and I know I can't touch you the way I want to."

Bella sighed and moved her thigh so that it was pressed against my groin more intimately. "You can touch now Edward. I want you to now." I hissed through clenched teeth. I was trying so hard to take my time with her and she did things like that which almost made me come undone there and then. I kissed her shoulders to distract myself from what she was doing down below and then let my lips make their way up the side of her neck and then back down to the tops of her covered breasts. I pulled the material down so that I could take her nipples into my mouth and give them the attention I knew she loved. She writhed underneath me and it made me more persistent in giving her what she wanted.

"So good Edward but I need to feel you."

Her hand slipped down between us, releasing the button of my pants and then unzipping them so that she could aid me in the removal of them. My length pressed against the fabric of my boxers and she instantly had her hand there to cover my erection. I couldn't hold in the groan that escaped at the feel of her holding me so delicately and when she started to slide her hand up and down, the roughness of the material made me quickly want the silkiness of her skin instead. I removed that last barrier so that my wish could come true and Bella grinned at me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to just bathe in the sensations of her touching me, skin to skin and my breathing quickened almost instantly. With a start I realized that Bella had changed positions and I was feeling the moistness of her mouth as she softly kissed up and down the length of my shaft. My eyes flew open at the unexpected movement and when she saw me watching her she placed her whole mouth over the top of it to give me even more of her attention. Only the fact that I wanted to wait for her to come alongside of me stopped me from exploding right there and then. I forced myself out of the stupefied coma of feeling I had relaxed into and guided her mouth back up towards my own and then began to unzip the dress she was wearing and remove it so that I could see her lingerie clad body. My eyes roved over her flawless form and the way the light was flickering across every possible inch of her.

"Bella, you are stunning. Every single bit of you is perfection." My voice trailed off as she took my mouth into a passionate kiss and my hands continued to explore the body I had just been complimenting. When I slipped my fingers under the lace of her undies we groaned in unison. She was so soft – so hot and moist - and her response to me gently caressing her folds and slipping my fingers into her most intimate of places had me aching to be with her fully. I held back because I could feel her contract around me in readiness and I was more than willing to wait for her pleasure. Her hands tightened on my back, curling and leaving indentations on my skin as she rode the waves of ecstasy my fingers had given her. I lightened my touch but didn't stop until I could feel her body relax completely beneath me.

"So good Edward. So damned good," Bella's breath was coming in small gasps leaving her voice sounding husky and overtly sexy. My body twitched at the knowledge that it was me that had done that to her.

"Bella I love you. I always want you to feel good," I lovingly traced a path of light touches from her face down her neck, across her shoulders and breasts, around her stomach and back up again. She moaned softly at the touch. Once I could see that she was coming out of the lethargy of the aftermath of her orgasm I realigned our bodies and placed myself at her entrance waiting for her signal that she was ready for me.

"Please Edward,"

"Like this," I whispered as I nipped at her earlobe and eased myself into her, taking the time to ensure she could adjust to my size before I was completely sheathed within her body.

"Oh shit, yes." She let out a long drawn out breath.

My body connected with Bella's in such an intimate way was indescribable. I was enveloped by her warmth and I held still to luxuriate in the depth of feeling I had for this girl. Her scent, her sound, her taste and the feel of her tightness around me was almost too much to endure. There was no possible way in this world that she could ever understand the level of need I had for at this precise moment of time while we teetered on the edge of letting go of the stillness.

"Move Edward. You need to love me," Her voice was scratchy with passion and need and it spurred me into action so that I pulled myself out a bit and then reentered; each time with a little more force than previously. She arched her back so that she was meeting me halfway and the collision of our bodies brought nothing but pleasure to the both of us.

My pace increased and I felt myself getting close. Looking down at Bella I could tell she was too because she was whimpering and the glazed look in her eyes was becoming more pronounced. I took hold of her hips causing us to halt our movements and held her still while I shifted so that our positions had changed, without us losing our contact, and I was now underneath her. For a brief few seconds Bella looked confused and then she began to respond to my thrusts from beneath her so that we were again moving as one. Bella's beauty was now framed by the night sky of bright stars as I looked up at her, watching the plethora of expressions cross her face displaying how much she was getting from our union. When her walls tightened around me and I saw her spiraling into the unknown it caused an answering response from me and I was spinning out of control right beside her, thrusting one last time before feeling her collapse in exertion onto my chest.

Kissing her forehead gently I moved us slightly so that she fit into the crook of my arm and held her as closely as I could to my side. She sighed with satisfaction as I reached for my shirt to drape across her still blushing body and she snuggled in deeper before sleepily professing her love and then falling into a doze.

An hour had passed since we had made love and I couldn't sleep as I lay still totally transfixed by the beautiful woman that slept on my chest. The moonlight gave her an angelic incandescence and her cheeks still held some of the pinkness left behind from the exertions of our love making. Incoherent mumbles and sighs would escape her mouth at irregular intervals and I basked in the knowledge that she was dreaming good dreams; that she was happy and content with where she was at right now. I pulled a piece of her hair back and gazed at the face I knew so well. She was always in my dreams and now she had given me the gift of knowing that she was going to be my future wife. With that thought I drifted into my own sleep where I dreamed that I held my world in my arms and nothing could take her away from me.


	44. Chapter 44: United Fromts

Chapter 44

BPOV – United Fronts

It was still early when I woke snuggled against the chest of my boyfriend…wait make that fiancé. I looked down to find that I was dressed in pajama shorts and a singlet top; Edward must have somehow got them on me at some point during the night. A memory of him gently lifting me and encouraging me to raise my arms flitted through my head and I smiled at his thoughtfulness. It was one thing to fall asleep beside him, on the beach, completely naked in the darkness of the night but it was a whole different ball game to wake up in the light of the day in the same state. Edward was so considerate; just another thing I loved about him.

I skimmed my fingers across Edward's cheeks and his lips twitched involuntarily before a smirk crossed his face.

"Good morning, beautiful," Edward drawled as his eyes opened to reveal their perfect green orbs. "I'd ask if you slept well but I already know the answer; you weren't willing to wake for anything or anyone."

I stretched languidly and noted with satisfaction that Edward's gaze followed the movements of my body; I enjoyed that he found me attractive, even if at times I did not understand it. "I was just entirely content Edward. Last night was perfect in every way and my sleep was full of great dreams,"

"I'm glad," Edward answered simply and his fingers fluttered up and down my arm. The sensation of it would never grow old; it was a feeling of excitement and contentment all rolled up in one.

"So we slept the whole night on a beach in Thailand, ha. Another thing to add to my list of things I never thought I would do in my lifetime," I pushed myself up on one arm to take a look around us and sighed as I watched the rising sun begin to bathe light across our little haven. "Beautiful,"

Edward sat up and did his own stretching before he took me into his lap and enveloped me with his arms so that we could watch the sun, and just enjoy the peace and quiet, for the time it took to completely make its way above the horizon. It was a magical moment and neither of us wanted to ruin it by speaking.

Once the moment passed, and Edward moved my hair away from the column of my neck so that he could lay small kisses up and down its length, I pressed myself back into his chest and took his hands tightly into my own, closing my eyes to enjoy his caressing lips.

"Nothing can beat this Edward. Thank you again for such a wonderful night and morning,"

I felt his lips move into a smile against the side of my neck.

"No regrets?"

"Uh uh. Not a one. How could I possibly regret getting engaged to the most wonderful man I know? You and I are going to have an amazing life together."

"That sounds like heaven to me Bella. You've been my life for quite a while now but soon we can make it official and I can't think of anything I want more than that."

Tilting my head I drew his lips to mine and we shared a soft kiss of agreeance. This was what we both wanted and it was good to know it was going to be a reality.

"Listen Bella, I don't want to come across pushy at all but I was thinking that maybe while it was just the two of us alone, without any outside influences, that we might kind of get a few things straight in our heads about what we want to happen with everything. I know my sister, and well I am sorry to say even my mother, and then I guess from what I've seen over the past week your mum in the mix will also be a consideration…I think we could easily be bamboozled into things that aren't necessarily us," He looked at me as I tried to contain my laughter at his nervous stuttering and he gave himself a wry smile before continuing. "Well, really I want to make sure you get what you want and I think if I know ahead of time what that is then I will be able to counteract anything they throw at us. Alice means well but she is going to be so excited for us and when she is like that who knows what she will come up with. From the moment we announce our engagement she will be planning. We need to be ready for that"

I knew what he was saying was true and I thanked my lucky stars that he was considerate enough to understand that this would not be what I wanted.

"Um. I have never really thought about it, Edward,"

He looked at me aghast. "You haven't known, for like forever, how you wanted your wedding day to be? God Alice has everything planned down to the minutest detail about how she wants hers. I think she has been planning it since she was eight years old. I thought that is what all you girls did."

The laughter bubbled from my lips as I envisioned a childish Alice making decisions about her future special day with a groom she hadn't even met yet.

"Well I am not your regular girl Edward. I guess I thought if I ever met the man I wanted to marry we would decide together what our day would look like. I had no idea what kind of personality my man would have so how could I possibly know what would suit him? My wedding was never anything I fixated on"

"You definitely are a one in a million kind of girl Bella and that is why I love you so much,"

"Thank goodness," I giggled.

"So now that you know who you are marrying do you have any ideas or suggestions?"

"Hmmmm. Small and simple I guess." Different ideas began to flash through my head as I tried to grasp what I really wanted and what might suit Edward as well. I would be happy with getting married in a registry office, just the two of us, so that I could avoid any kind of attention but I knew that was not fair on Edward. He would want his family to be there. He would want to share his happy day. "Just the people who mean something special to us there …..and maybe it would be kind of nice to have a garden wedding – Esme's garden would be perfect if she didn't mind, after all that is where we shared our first kiss."

The widening grin on Edward's face told me everything I needed to know. He was happy with my suggestions. "Do you know what, I think you have got it completely right. A garden wedding would be lovely and where better than Esme's garden. She will be tickled pink if we asked her. I agree that I don't want a big thing. I am over having my life open for everyone's perusal – this very special moment between us will only be shared with the people we love the most."

"So when Alice moans and groans about not letting her plan the big extravaganza we are going to hold firm and make sure it happens the way we want?" I questioned Edward for confirmation, already knowing his answer.

"Absolutely. Now the final question; when do you want to become Mrs Cullen, my beautiful girl?"

"Now," I instantly answered and he guffawed.

"As appealing as that sounds, it is not going to happen."

"Of course not. Well I guess it's probably up to you and your plans over the coming year with regards to Cullen Alliance. You let me know and I will make sure I am there," I joked and Edward's temple furrowed in thought.

"It's not just based around me Bella. You have important things happening this year too. I was thinking that maybe we wait until you have finished your university course and graduated half way through the year. You've worked so hard to get your degree that I don't want wedding plans to get in the way."

"Sounds like a plan. A summer wedding it is then, as long as it suits your tour dates,"

"Bella our wedding day is going to come before anything to do with our tour dates. We will work around it. You have to realize that when it comes to you, you will always come first for me."

I shook my head depreciatingly and he shook his head back at me, laughing at my inability to understand that I was worth his over the top regard for me. "So the Pixie girl will not know what has hit her when we show our united front."

"Does she know? I mean have you told her about us getting engaged?"

"I haven't told any of them but I think the four of them suspect and you know Alice, she has the uncanny ability to see things that are going to happen," He shrugged his shoulders " She possibly saw this. I am not sure. The only person who is aware that I was going to ask you to marry me is your dad,"

I gasped. "You asked my dad's permission?"

"Of course. That's the way it is done, you know."

"Oh my god, you have scored serious brownie points with that move Edward. Was he ok about it? Did he give you a hard time?"

"Actually he was really cool about it. Told me he could see how much I cared for you and that he was confident that I would do my best for you every step of the way. He has done a complete turn around from our initial meeting, hey."

"You can say that again. I am happy though that we have his blessing. That means a lot Edward. Thanks for doing that."

"Anything for you but now we need to have breakfast and get back to the hordes. Somehow I think we are going to be celebrating today." I cringed at the thought but when I looked at the brilliant happiness in Edward's face I forced myself to consider that this was important to him and I would have to make myself enjoy what lay ahead with regards to our family and friends.

"Oh come on Bella. It won't be that bad. How can you have an aversion to sharing with your loved ones that you have just made the decision to be with the greatest man on this earth?" That sexy smirk of his should be illegal.

"Hmm. I didn't realize that I just got engaged to the Dalai Lama," I pursed my lips in thought. "In that case I need to reconsider my….."

"You think that the Dalia Lama is the greatest man on earth? Do I even get a look in?"

"I don't know Edward. The Dalai Lama has the whole world peace aura about him and that is kind of a turn on to me. Who can deny a man who is always finding ways to better himself in order to reach Nirvana?"

Edward began to tickle me in mock anger and I smothered my squeals and laughter in his shoulder as I tried to get him to relinquish his hold on me. As his fingers slowed their assault on my sides Edward breathed sensually in my ear and my laughter stilled with the sincerity of his words. "Marrying you is my own personal Nirvana, Bella so I am more than willing to find ways to better myself just to make sure you stay by my side forever. You better believe that I am going to be the ONLY man for you and I want everyone to know that we are each others."

"I don't think there will be any doubt, Edward."

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it," Alice was practically bouncing out of her skin with happiness as she threw her arms around the two of us after Edward's announcement that the two of us had got engaged the night before. Jasper was more sedate in his approach to giving us his very sincere well wishes but Alice was more than making up for it with her exuberance and beaming smiles as she bubbled around us. I knew I was a permanent tomato red from all the attention and congratulations that we were being bombarded with. Edward was squeezing me closer to his side as he looked down at me apologetically. I smiled up at him to alleviate his concerns. Sure I didn't like the attention but these were our family and friends and they were happy for us. I didn't want him to be so worried about my reactions that he forgot to enjoy this moment for himself.

"Like we couldn't see that one coming," Rose rolled her eyes at Alice's exuberant claim to have known and then pulled me into a hug as well. "Congratulations Bella. You deserve my pseudo brother. You're the only one who has ever been able to reach him and make him respond with such emotion."

"Thanks, Rose." I whispered against her embrace. "I hope that we are as happy together as you and Emmett are,"

"High aspirations, my friend, but I guess we all have to aim for something in our lives," Emmett deadpanned as he moved Rosalie aside and then took me into his ridiculously rigorous clasp of affection. "Welcome to the family sis."

"Oh honey I am so happy for you," Renee had hugged Edward whilst Emmett was holding me but now she had pushed him out of the way so that she could offer me her own words of congratulations which, of course, came out in exactly a Renee kind of a way. "This is fantastic news and it is so obvious that the two of you are in love, even after such a short period of time. Oh wait, you're not getting married because you're pregnant are you? You have been using contraception, haven't you? God I should have remembered to talk to you about this again when I realized things were getting serious. I can't believe I am so scatterbrained…."

Edward's posture tensed up next to me and I could feel his frustration as if it was mine. Trust my mum to speak before she thought and make something so wonderful sound kind of dirty.

"Oh, for god's sake, Renee. Let me get to my daughter so I can congratulate her the proper way for the fact that she has just got engaged to the man she loves. Even I know that she is adult enough to make the right decisions for herself. Don't ruin their moment." I gave my dad a watery smile and then a tighter hug than I had ever given him.

"Thanks dad. That means a lot." He disengaged from me with some embarrassment at being caught out in a private moment and turned to Edward.

"I've already said it once Edward but I know that your intentions are nothing but honorable towards my daughter and I know she will be very happy with you."

"Thanks Charlie," Edward relaxed against me and then threw Renee a look of confusion. Renee was now apologizing profusely for her lack of tact and inability to filter. I sighed heavily. Well if Edward wanted to be with me he was going to have to get used to her doing that, more often. Renee was Renee and there was nothing to do about that except accept her little faux paus.

"Just to set the record straight for everyone," I looked meaningfully at everyone, who were standing behind my mother, and were now looking at me in varying degrees of embarrassment. "I am NOT pregnant and Edward and I are getting married for the old fashioned reason that we love each other. Does everyone comprehend?" I directed those words at my mother, specifically and she again started to apologise. I leant into her and whispered into her ear. "Mother dear I have been on the pill for years now – medical reasons you know. Edward and I are adults and we would never be that irresponsible." I arched my eyebrow at her to show my annoyance before Phil came to claim her and give her his own admonishment for not thinking about her words and environment.

The congratulations kept on coming. Esme and Carlisle coming forward to welcome me to the family, even though they said they had already felt that from me for quite some time. "Thank you for making my son live again Bella. I was so scared that he was losing himself for a while there and now here he is the happiest I have ever seen him. That is all your doing." Esme's words brought tears to my eyes. I never wanted to think about Edward being unhappy and I was glad that I gave him some sense of rightness with his world.

Angela's soft words of congratulations could not hide the emotion she was feeling inside at the knowledge that I had finally found my soul mate the way she had. We had been friends for so long that it was important to us that we were both happy and content in our lives. I clung to her as we prolonged our hug and Ben slapped Edward on the shoulder in friendship.

"You have great girl here Edward. I hope you realize how lucky you are." Ben stated simply and Edward nodded his head in all seriousness.

"Don't I know it, Ben. I think about it all the time."

Sue, Seth, Leah, Ellie and the Denali's all followed suit and then it came time to face my one concern; my best friend. How was this going to affect him? I noticed that Irina gave him a small touch of encouragement, rubbing his back, as he came forward to greet us. He offered his hand to Edward and they shook hands amicably.

"I trust that you will always do your best by her, Edward. She deserves it." Jacob's low tones meant this was a private moment just between the three of us.

Edward held his stare and responded with sincerity. "I will aim for nothing less. I promise."

Jacob's nod was almost indiscernible and then he was searching my face intently. "I don't even need to ask if this is what you really want Bella because I can see it in every little nuance, every little interaction between the two of you. I have never seen you so happy and I am beginning to understand…." He glanced towards Irina for a brief moment there but that one look spoke volumes

" …..how love can be so all encompassing and just feel right. You and I though. We are besties and you are never to forget that. I am here for you no matter what. If Edward needs his ass kicked because he has forgotten how unbelievably good you are, then I am your man." He took a deep breath "Seriously Belles, your happiness means the world to me, so congratulations. You two were meant to be,"

My arms were flung around Jacob's neck as I nuzzled into his huge chest trying to hide the tears that were falling because of his words to me. I realized in that moment how scared I had been of losing his friendship, because no matter how much he had been supportive of Edward and my relationship I knew that deep down he was hurting and I was frightened that this would tip him over the edge. He had proven to be such a strong and unselfish friend and I knew he would always be around. It made my happiness grow tenfold.

My lips scraped across his cheek. "Besties, Jake. Always."

Alice's clapping from across the room broke our private moment and I turned to watch as Alice continued clapping to get everyone's attention.

"Ok, ok. Here's the deal. I booked out a restaurant for us across on the mainland for lunch today so you have approximately half an hour to get your best celebration clothes on," Everyone looked at Alice as if she had grown two heads and she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Hey I had a feeling, ok and then I thought if my feeling was off base we could still all have lunch together since some of us are leaving for home tomorrow. It's our last opportunity to all be together. Now we have two reasons to eat, drink and be merry but I do have to say that my feelings are very rarely wrong,"

Jasper stood close beside her and kissed her lightly on the forehead before he shook his head and started the ball rolling by leaving the room to get ready. The others in the room began to follow, not willing to upset Alice's plans by hanging around.

"I've organised a couple of extra boats to come across and get us so that no one is waiting for the boat to return," Alice let us know before she went to leave herself. "and Bella you and I have a lot to discuss so I think you should be in the same boat with me. I have so many ideas of how we can make this the best wedding ever," Alice excitedly pulled at me and before I could answer Esme and Renee were contributing their own voices.

"Me too," Esme spoke softly.

"Bags being in the boat with you too. I want to know every detail of my daughter's wedding." Renee spoke longingly, hoping that she had been forgiven for her inappropriate exclamations earlier.

"Of course," Alice chirped placing herself between my mother and her own, heading towards the door as they discussed options for our big day. "See you two in half an hour and we can talk about this more," Alice threw over her shoulder as she led the other two women out.

The look of horror on my face made Edward start laughing at my expense.

"And so it begins," I moaned fretfully resting my head against Edward's warm chest. He chuckled with mirth.

"Yes it does love," he gripped my chin lightly and planted a chaste kiss against my lips which soon turned into a deep and passionate response to one another. Once he pulled away I took in some deep breathes to steady myself. "United we stand."

"Always!"


	45. Chapter 45: Setting Things into Place

**Just a warning that this chapter has a lot in it and does jump over the place time wise – I hope that I haven't made it too confusing for you.**

**Would love to hear what you think so please review.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter 45

EPOV – Setting things into place

If I had thought I loved Bella during the months that we had been together leading up to the engagement, it was nothing in comparison to how I felt about her in the months since, now that we were in the same city and our day to day life involved more face to face interaction. I had never dreamed that the small things in life would be so significant to me; waking up to Bella in one of our apartments before we headed out for our day of work or school, meeting for quick lunches between courses or recording sessions, picking up take out before heading home to a night of casual closeness as we shared our days and laughed at the funny situations we had found ourselves in. Contentment shadowed everything we did and we just fit; I couldn't describe it any other way. Even the publicity that had broken out over our engagement had not been the complete disaster I had imagined for Bella. She accepted the role she now played in being my fiancé and even kind of enjoyed aspects of it, always being polite to those who asked her questions but never revealing too much about our private lives. Admittedly I shielded her as much as I could from any kind of negativity and we chose very carefully the times when we attended things together but generally Bella was happy with how it was working out and the confidence I had seen blooming within her was a treat to behold. My girl was beautiful, confident, independent, loving and above all else she was here with me. The future was really looking good.

"So what do you think?"

"I think you should do it," Bella stated confidently, as she pulled out the chair and sat opposite me taking a small bite out of her piece of toast before giving me a grin. We were sitting in the kitchen area of the apartment I was renting while we stayed in Seattle for recording. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and I had decided that since we were staying here for a prolonged period of time that a hotel wouldn't do and we all rented our own places for the duration. As much as I loved my family it was kind of nice to have my own space, even though I would be more than happy for Bella just to give in and move in as well. She had gently told me right from the beginning of our engagement that she wouldn't be giving up her apartment because it wouldn't be fair to Seth. Moving in would have to wait until we were actually married but it didn't stop us from spending every night together, regardless of who's place we stayed at.

Bella continued. "This is one of the best parts of your job Edward; getting to help others. Why would you even consider saying no?"

"Because we have things planned for this weekend." I said without much belief behind the words.

"And your tone just confirms what I think; you need to do this. The benefit concert is way more important than us house hunting or working on the wedding. We have all the time in the world for that Edward."

She was right of course and I always knew what she would say when I asked about it. Laurent had rung late last night, after Bella had fallen asleep, to talk to me about the concert that was being arranged to support the thousands of people who had been left homeless from two major earthquakes in Mexico days ago. Musicians from all over America were becoming involved in helping out and Laurent wanted to know if we were interested. My initial reaction had been hell yes but of course I needed to pass it by Bella first. I had no doubt that the others in the group would be in agreeance too.

"What if we miss out on the house of our dreams because I am away this weekend?"

Bella looked at me with a slightly annoyed expression. "Even if we do, we will still have a house to live in at the end of this. These people have nothing right now and it is going to take them years to rebuild. Are we even having this discussion Edward? – this is so not you."

My chuckle resulted in an answering grin from Bella. "I was just playing with you Bella. Of course this is important and I was fully intending on doing it. I just wanted to make sure you were ok with it and that you weren't going to feel ripped off without my presence for one weekend. We have kind of gotten used to being together all the time in the past five months,"

"Jerk," Bella batted my shoulder as she stood up again to get herself some juice. "I imagine I will be fine without you for one weekend. You know it will give me more time to put the final touches on my assignments anyway and maybe get in some extra study. You are kind of distracting when it comes to those things."

Quickly getting up I moved to stand behind Bella and placed my arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck with small kisses. "You love the distraction Bella Swan. Do not even pretend that you don't."

Bella's voice became breathless and I enjoyed that a small touch from me could still make her feel that way. "I wasn't intending on it," She turned to claim my lips with hers and then lightly pushed me away. "Now off you go to organise your part in saving the world and all that, so that I can actually get out of this apartment and be at my tutorial on time."

I watched as Bella disappeared into my bedroom to pick up her bag and the folders she needed for today's courses. She was so close to finishing now and I felt the excitement leap within me because with the end of her university course came the beginning of our married life together…. well at least close enough anyway. We had given her some time after graduation before we actually exchanged our vows to make sure everything was set, and to relieve any pressure she might feel in the lead up to the wedding. I personally could not wait for the moment though. I had no doubt it would be one of the best days of my life.

Bella returned to the kitchen and kissed me chastely. "Love you. Have a great day and don't forget that I am working tonight so I will be late home."

I pulled her back into my arms to get a better kiss and she succumbed to my light hearted demand before grabbing her leys and heading out the door. "I will pick you up at the end of your shift Bella," I called after her.

"Of course you will," Bella smiled, blew me a kiss and then I was alone to start my own day.

"This one is perfect," Bella's eyes were dancing with excitement as she took in the environment we were currently standing in. I had to agree with her. This was by far the best place we had looked at so far and we had been looking for over a month. There was plenty of room for everything we wanted; space for children, room for guests, a study for Bella, a large outdoor room that I could convert into a studio if I wanted to, large backyard that ran down to a small creek. It offered privacy and a beautiful outlook.

The real estate agent was giving us a rundown of all the extras that came with the house and the reasons she had thought this one would be the one we were hoping for. She had been very accommodating in arranging for us to look at the house, before my flight out to Los Angeles for the benefit concert, and I was now really happy that we had taken the time to come and check it out.

"If you could just give us a minute Clarice, my fiance and I will have a bit of a talk about our thoughts on this one,"

Clarice smiled and headed out the front door to give Bella and I our privacy.

"Well," I raised my eyebrows at my beautiful Bella and waited for her feedback. "Can you see us living here with our family?"

Bella's eyes glazed over, making me think for a moment that she was going to burst into tears. "Oh, Edward. Thinking of having children with you, and sharing this house together as a family, makes me deliriously happy. This is the one. I can feel it. This is the place where our kids will grow up with every bit of happiness we can give them."

Pulling Bella to my chest I absent mindedly caressed her shoulders and neck as I agreed with her words. "I think so too Bella. I want our kids to grow up in this house. I want to watch the little pieces of me and you combined, running around that backyard without a care in the world knowing that they are loved by the most amazing woman in the world,"

"and the most remarkable man too," Bella added.

"Shall we make an offer?"

She smiled and stated simply. "Yes please. I want this to be our home,"

"Well then, it shall be. Let's find Clarice and arrange it." Bella's hug became more intense and I looked at her in concern. "What's up love?"

"Nothing, really. I am just so happy and it all seems too good to be true. We've found our home, I am going to be married to my soul mate within a few months and at some point you and I are going to make the most amazing babies together. I love you Edward. I simply love you,"

"The sentiment is returned, Bella, a hundred times over. I love you with everything I have and I will never let go of our forever because you make me so incredibly happy."

Tears were now streaming down Bella's cheeks and I gently caught them with the pads of my thumb as she watched me intently.

"Thank you Edward for all of this; for making me the happiest woman alive,"

"Well Bella you deserve it because you are my everything. Your happiness is all I really want from this life."

"Well someone is a happy boy then," Alice proclaimed as I hurriedly sat beside her in first class of the flight we were taking to Los Angeles. I almost missed the flight so the others had all gone through before me and were comfortably seated when I rushed in.

Emmett smirked at my disheveled appearance. "So had a little bit of last minute loving from the wife to be then, did we? Nice going bro – that is almost worth missing a flight for,"

"Seriously Emmett do you ever get your mind out of the gutter?" I sighed as I finally felt myself relax against the seat. "If you must know, Bella and I just made an offer on a house that we saw this morning and I was trying to get all the paperwork done before I left so that it doesn't fall through on us."

Alice squealed with happiness and Rosalie gave me a very sincere congratulations, before looking back at the magazine she was reading.

"That's brilliant Edward," Jasper stated softly "I know you wanted to have that all sorted before you got married."

"Tell us all about it," Alice demanded " oohh you so have to let me redecorate it for you Edward, after all you do owe me one, considering the whole wedding debacle," A sly look crossed Alice's face and I knew that somehow she was going to get her way with this one.

"I would hardly call Bella and I having the wedding we want a debacle sis and you have been helping out there anyway, so don't pretend that you are overly upset by it," I chided Alice.

"Hmmm. I am sure the wedding will be beautiful Edward, just the way the two of you want, but at some point someone has to let me organise the big wedding extravaganza I am destined to do. Rose didn't do it and now Bella isn't going to let me either. I have the right to be a teensy weensy bit aggravated about how my opportunities are just slipping away."

I laughed at her good naturedly because really, besides the initial mini tantrum she had thrown on learning how we wanted a quiet wedding with only close friends and family, she had been very supportive of Bella's ideas and had tried gallantly to make sure they all came into fruitition for her.

"I guess it just leaves our wedding then baby. When the time comes you can have whatever you want I promise," Jasper's words were sincere and Alice widened her eyes before collapsing into his chest with an ill concealed shriek of delight.

"God I love you Jasper Hale,"

"You have well and truly done it now Jasper. Your wedding is going to be an absolute circus," I drawled happily.

"I very much doubt it. I trust Alice and it will be amazing. She deserves something special since she has been waiting so long for it,"

"Is this your roundabout way of asking me to marry you Jazz?" Alice questioned, tongue in cheek.

"Absolutely not, Alice. When I ask you to marry me, it will be something special I can guarantee that," Jasper stated with serenity "It will happen when you least expect it. That's the only reason it hasn't happened yet."

"No doubt," Alice's happiness wouldn't allow her smile to leave her face. She looked back at me. "I guess I should be happy that your fiancé is more than happy to let me organise the dress Edward. I don't think she could say no after she looked so fabulous at the Grammy's with the dress I chose. She knows to trust me now and I know we are going to make her look exquisite for her wedding,"

I willingly conceded this particular point since Alice had done an amazing job of making sure Bella looked an absolute angel for our date to the Grammy's back in January. It had been our first public outing as an engaged couple and Bella had been overwhelmed and nervous about the fact that she needed to pose for photographers.

_When Alice had finally revealed her magic to all of us on the evening we were attending, I had almost choked on my drink to see such a poised and beautiful Bella standing at the top of the staircase of Alice and Jasper's penthouse apartment. I knew there and then that I would not be relinquishing my hold on her all night because she was too enticing for her own good and I refused to allow anyone else the opportunity to steal her away from me._

"_Bella, you are….. you look…." my words wouldn't come and Bella blushed at my nervous attempt at complimenting her._

"_Hot," bellowed Emmett and her crimson cheeks became even more prominent._

_I punched Emmet hard for his undisguised leery assessment of my Bella and looked at Rosalie for help. She shrugged her shoulders. "My husband does have impeccable taste Edward. I can't be angry that he appreciates good looks."_

_I returned my attention to Bella who was now walking carefully down the stairs and walking directly into my embrace. "Sweetheart you look absolutely stunning. I am going to have to fight the vultures off tonight. I can see it already,"_

_Bella denied it adamantly, of course, but she really had no idea of her appeal and attractiveness to more than just me. I saw it all the time when we were out and men watched her from afar to see if she was available; I always got a huge surge of satisfaction knowing that she had chosen me to be with and that they would never get the chance to be with her in any kind of romantic manner._

_The night had gone remarkably well with Bella posing confidently beside me for photos on the red carpet and smiling at me lovingly the whole time. Throughout the night I marveled at her capacity to make such a huge transition in her life so that she could be with me. She was a private person who didn't like the attention but here she was at the Grammy's supporting our band in a very public way. I loved her more for it and promised myself that I would not force her to lose herself too much within this fabricated world by asking her do this too often. _

_When Cullen Alliance won their first award for the night, the pride on Bella's face was nearly my undoing and I restrained myself from taking her in my arms and kissing her senseless just to thank her for believing in me so implicitly. Instead I gave her a small peck and made my way up to the stage with my band members; my family. Alice and Bella sat beaming in the audience as each of us took time to say our thank yous. When it came time for me to speak all I could do was thank our fans and the people who supported us with all our endeavours. _

"_and lastly I would like to thank my ever supportive fiancé. Without you, Bella, this would not be nearly as sweet."_

_The audience went into an uproar at my words but all I could concentrate on was my beautiful Bella, sitting there completely entranced by me and my speech. She was an angel and she was all mine._

"Earth to Edward," Alice was clicking her fingers in front of my face as I silently mused about my favourite Grammys ever.

"Ah yeh sure Alice. I am sure what you, Bella and Rosalie come up with for the dress will be perfect," I was unsure if that is what I should be saying but it was all I had, considering I had tuned my sister's voice out to think about Bella.

"We had already established that two conversations ago Edward. I was asking if you were nervous about the concert?"

With that question I was pulled into a discussion about the choices we had made about the songs we were singing. Each musician or band would be performing one special song live and it would be screened across the nation in the hopes of encouraging donations. A CD would then be made up with all the songs performed and would be sold to again raise money for this very worthy cause. I was happy to be participating in such a worthwhile event even though for once I would not be performing with our regular band. Rosalie had been approached to sing alongside Alicia Keys and was so excited about the prospect that we had assured her that we didn't mind and would sing something without her. For once Jasper and I were going to sing as an acoustic duo and Emmett was going to support us with a more subdued form of his drumming. I was kind of excited about doing something so different and I knew Jasper was more than keen to exercise his vocal chords in a way he wasn't used to. The rest of our trip involved discussing the concert and who we thought would end up performing in support of the people of Mexico. It was an exciting time knowing that what we did would actually have an impact and it meant even more to me because I had come to a decision about where I wanted my future to go and this might be my last opportunity to do something that meant a great deal to me. That was still something I had to discuss with my family though and it could wait until after the concert.

The piano keys felt comfortable under my fingers as I gently caressed them in readiness for the song we were about to perform. Jasper sat a few metres away from me and gave me a slight nod of his head when he had fine tuned his guitar to the point that he wanted. The light strokes of Emmett drumming could be heard but very subtly. For once the mood had Emmett in a different place to the roaring performances he usually exhibited when we were in concert. He didn't want to overpower us or the meaning of the song so everything was soft and therefore emotional. I closed my eyes before I began and let the music take hold as Jasper sang alongside me.

_Now I've heard there was a secret chord__  
__That David played, and it pleased the Lord__  
__But you don't really care for music, do you?__  
__It goes like this__  
__The fourth, the fifth__  
__The minor fall, the major lift__  
__The baffled king composing Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah_

Jasper took over for the next verse and I watched him with respect as he guided his voice and his guitar to a place where nothing mattered but his amazing singing. It was my turn to support him and I did in low tones, relishing the feel of singing with my two best friends in the world.

__

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof__  
__You saw her bathing on the roof__  
__Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you__  
__She tied you__  
__To her kitchen chair__  
__She broke your throne, and she cut your hair__  
__And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah_

Our roles reversed again as we continued, supporting one another and allowing ourselves to give our all to this song. We wanted people to feel the power of the words and the thrill of the music.__

_Maybe there's a God above__  
__But all I've ever learned from love__  
__Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you__  
__And it's not a cry that you hear at night__  
__It's not somebody who's seen the light__  
__It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah__  
__Hallelujah_

The final strains of Jasper's guitar could be heard before I brought myself back to the reality of the stage that we were sitting on. The audience sat silently before breaking into a standing ovation of gasps and claps. I smiled at Jasper and he returned the favour as we realized what we had just done together. I had never felt so close to him as I did in that precise moment in time. We were musicians and we had done something worthwhile. Emmett came forward to clap us both in the backs as we stood to thank our audience. "Great job you two. You nailed that baby down to the wire."

As I left the stage I watched jealously as Jasper and Emmett held their partners and they congratulated one another. The high I was on from that performance needed to be shared with the person I loved too, so I quickly dialed Bella's phone and she answered without pause.

"Oh my god, Edward. That was the single most beautiful performance I have ever seen in my life. You and Jasper just soar when you sing together. I have tears running down my face as we speak."

"So it came across ok then?" I questioned, my high still very much evident from her words now.

"It was every type of exquisite there is Edward and I think I have just fallen for you even more deeply if that is even remotely possible. The phone lines are going mad on the telethon, baby. You and Jasper have just made the hugest difference. I am so proud of you all."

"Thanks, beautiful; your opinion means the most to me so I am glad that you enjoyed it. I have to go but I will see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams Bella. I love you,"

"and I love you Edward. Always will."

"No way in this world can you be serious Edward," Rosalie hissed at me before turning to face the others in the band "He can't be serious can he?"

The five of us were sitting in the lounge area of the hotel suite we had stayed in for the past two nights. Last night's concert had been a complete success raising millions upon millions of dollars for the people who had lost everything in the earthquakes but now it was time for me to be honest with my band mates and tell them what I needed for my future. Obviously Rosalie was not taking it as well as I hoped.

"I am pretty sure he is," Jasper answered her calmly and gave me a look of support.

"Well you can't just up and leave the band like this Edward," Rosalie's face had gone an unattractive bluish red colour and Emmett stepped forward to put his hand on her arm to try and calm her down but she was having nothing of it. "We've worked years to get this band going and now you want to up and leave it as if it is of no consequence; as if you don't care about us at all."

"Rose, you know it's not like that at all. You guys are my family, regardless if we are in the band or not. I need to do this for myself and for my future family."

"So Bella is in on this too is she? I suppose it was her idea that you left us high and dry just so she didn't have to say goodbye to you when we toured."

Before I could retort in anger, Jasper spoke firmly to Rosalie. "Just hold it right there Rose. We all know Bella well enough to know that she hasn't forced Edward to do anything. She would support him no matter what he decided to do. Don't start flinging insults that you know aren't true and for which you will feel sorry for later. Let Edward explain himself before you judge."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at her brother but then placed her hands on her hips waiting for me to speak.

"Let me make it quite clear that this is my decision and it is something I have been tossing around for quite a while, to be honest. Bella does not know about it yet. I wanted to speak to you all about it first since it will directly affect your lives and I thought it was only fair. Jasper is right in that Bella will support any decision I come to so I am not worried about her at this particular moment in time. I am however keen to make you understand why I am asking you for this." I took a deep breath and searched the faces of everyone. Rosalie was furious but the others appeared to be calmer about my disclosure that I wanted to leave the band.

"Go ahead Edward. Tell us what you need to," Alice encouraged softly and Rosalie snorted in aggravation.

"I've loved doing this with you all. I've loved making music with my favourite people in the world for all these years but now I am tired. Now I want a more normal life where I am not traipsing around the world suiting everyone elses idea of who I am. I feel like I want to try a different dream that I've always had and never let myself dwell on. I want to go to university and become a doctor. You all know that if hadn't been for us becoming famous that it would have been the direction I would have taken."

"I guess it's in your blood, given your dad is the best one around," Emmett interrupted and I smiled at his attempt to be positive about all of this. Rosalie scowled at him and he shrugged his shoulders at her. "What? I am just saying."

"Well you're not helping," Rosalie's voice was like ice.

"I didn't know it was us against Edward, Rosalie. I didn't realize that we had made some kind of pact when this started that we were going to do this for the rest of our lives, no matter if one of us felt that they would like to do something else with theirs. Seems pretty straight forward to me. Edward has had enough and who can blame him. He has had to put up with a lot during our time in the limelight. He finally has someone he cares about and he wants to have some semblance of normality with that person. I completely understand where he is coming from." Emmett's words were like balm on my tortured thoughts. "If Edward wants to try and become a doctor then I say we fucking support him in that."

"Thank you Emmett. That means a lot to me,"

"Yeh well that is all well and good but where does that leave the rest of us? What are we meant to do? The band won't be nearly as successful without Edward in the lead and I for one am not ready to give up on my dreams yet. I like being famous."

"You don't need us to be famous Rosie," Jasper's words rang through the sudden silence. "You have it in you to be a solo artist."

"What?" Rosalie screeched at her twin in horror. "So now you are saying that you want to leave the band too. Shit. This day is just getting better and better,"

"Well I have been considering that there are other things I would like to do and I know that Alice has always wanted to open her own fashion designing business but never did it because she was dedicated to us as a band but….. maybe it is time for us to let go of this amazing dream we've been living and start thinking about other things we want to achieve. I am more than happy to continue writing songs for you but stepping out of the limelight for me would not be such a hard thing to do."

My eyes widened as Jasper gave his little spiel. It had not crossed my mind to think that the others might be feeling the same way as me in many respects. A small part of me rejoiced that through opening up about how I felt the others were getting a chance to express their needs as well.

"and I suppose you are going to tell me that you have something else you want to be doing too, Emmett."

"Rose, you know what my dreams are and you also know that I will do whatever you want me to do"

"Look I am not saying we need to stop right now. I just wanted to give you a heads up that I was considering different options of how I want to live my life with Bella. At the very least we have a contract to finish this album and then a small tour to promote it. That means we won't be finishing off as a group until later this year. We have time to think about what we all really want and also make sure that we go out with a bang."

"You have it all planned out, don't you Edward," Rosalie spoke scathingly at me and I could tell I was not making headway with her at all. That upset me because I really didn't want to upset anyone with my revelations, although I knew I would.

"Can I have a word with you Rosalie?" Emmett interrupted the tirade that his wife was about to go on and motioned towards their hotel room. "We will be back soon." he threw over his shoulder as they moved away from us.

"You haven't had much to say Alice, which surprises me somewhat,"

"There really isn't much to say Edward. I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. I knew that at some point you would want to leave and do something else with your life. I knew that your dream to become a doctor was always sitting there in the back of your mind waiting to be explored. Bella has brought you back to yourself Edward and I am always going to support what you think you need to do to keep yourself happy. It doesn't worry me one way or another about the band. As long as I have Jasper by my side I am willing to do anything, and of course he is right….. I would love to start my own fashion label. It would be such a cool thing to do." A wistful look appeared in her eye and Jasper reached over to squeeze her arm in encouragement.

The three of us sat down while we waited for Emmett and Rosalie to make a reappearance. Alice got out of me that I was hoping to be able to apply for university for the following year, if I was able to pass the entrance exams. I knew it was going to be hard to get back into the swing of learning and studying but I had never stopped being interested in the process so I hoped that somehow I would find a way to make it all work out.

By the time Rosalie and Emmett came back into the room the three of us were somewhat relaxed and even a little bit excited about the things we could do with our lives in the not too distant future. Rosalie walked out with an air of resignation that I had to wonder at. It wasn't like Rosalie to give up so easily on something she believed was her right to have.

"So Emmett and I have discussed it and we agree that maybe it is in all our best interests to break up the group after the album and promotional tour is finished. I am sorry for making you feel like the bad guy Edward. It was all a bit of a shock and pretty frightening really, to think about a life different to how we have been living for years."

"I fully understand Rose. I feel that way too and I worry that I am going to fail because really this is all we've known for so long." I had to give her something. She was trying so hard to be a team player in this and I knew that this was going to be hardest on her. She loved the idea of being famous; she loved the limelight.

"So are you thinking about going solo then? What about you Emmett?" Alice asked with curiosity.

"Um. I would like to go solo eventually and Emmett would of course always be involved with the backup band – I would make sure of that but for the moment…." Rosalie looked nervous as she took a deep breath "…. Emmett and I have been recently looking into fostering that young girl we met at the picnic last year, Claudia. We have been in touch with her for casual visits and we really like her. We have been having discussions with social services about it and it seemed that the main obstacle in our way was the fact that we are not regarded as a settled family and they did not feel it was in her best interests to be travelling around the way we do for our job. As Emmett has so rightly pointed out maybe this is fate's way of making us try a different approach. Something about Claudia clicked with me and I really think we have a lot to offer her. I guess something good can come out of us breaking up after all."

"Wow Rose. That is incredible. They would be stupid not to let you two into that young girl's life. We will back you one hundred percent of the way. Claudia deserves a family like ours," Alice was speaking at a hundred miles a minute and it lightened the mood up considerably.

"Rosalie, Emmett. That little girl would be incredibly lucky if she got to be with you two. I am so proud of what you are doing." My voice broke a little. So many emotions were going through my head with everything we had discussed over the past hour or so. I needed to share it with Bella and get her take on the events of this morning so I excused myself and went to ring her while the others discussed the possibility of a new member of our family.

"_You have reached the phone of Bella. I can't speak to you right now but if you leave your name and number I will get back to you as soon as possible….."_

"Hi love. Have had an interesting morning that I wanted to share with you but obviously you are busy, so it can wait until I see you back at home in about five hours time. God I miss you and I can't wait to hold you. Love you. Home soon."

It didn't occur to me to be worried about her not answering as I walked back in to interact with my family. Not for one second did it cross my mind that something could possibly be wrong. Life was just too good at the moment with everything falling into place for the future I was preparing for my Bella. Why would there be a need for me to be concerned?


	46. Chapter 46: How a Heart Breaks

Chapter 46

EPOV – How a Heart Breaks

The airport in Seattle was busy, as usual, and it seemed to take an indeterminably long time for our baggage to come out for collection. During that wait I tried to contact Bella numerous times to let her know we were safely back on land and on our way home. It was something I always did whenever work meant I had to travel out of town, and Bella expected it. So if that was the case, why wasn't she answering? Something was not sitting right and I felt a familiar anxiety coil in my stomach. I pushed it down; telling myself that I was being silly. Bella had to study; maybe she decided to go to the library or something as innocent as that and I was overreacting to a small amount of non contact. I forced myself to interact with the others as we finally collected our things and headed out to my car which I had left the night before last at the airport.

"Did you get onto Bella?" Alice chirped as Jasper took one of her bags from her and threw it into the back of the car.

"Um, actually no. She is not answering anywhere; not at her place or mine or on the mobile." I frowned at myself. "God, look at me. I am like some sort of possessive freak who can't go five minutes without speaking to his girl. I am sure there is a really good reason for her not answering and I will see her soon enough so…."

"Relax bro," Emmett grinned at me and I grimaced back. I couldn't get the feeling out of my head that I had a right to be worried.

Jasper looked at me with concern and was about to say something when his attention was diverted by Alice's gasp of anxiety. All sets of eyes flew to her face and we instantly knew something was wrong. My heart thudded into my stomach with a sickening lurch.

"Bella?"

Alice shook her head. "No. Dean. He is passed out. He almost looks….dead," Her eyes squinted closed in concentration and frustration. "I don't get anything else. Shit this can't be good."

My mind flooded with images that I wanted desperately to ignore. "Who's on Bella's roster this weekend Jasper?"

"Grant and Dean, Dean is today." Jasper confirmed what I already knew and I swore with vehemence. "I'm onto it" Jasper claimed as he pulled out his phone at the exact time mine rang. We all jumped with the unexpectedness of it. Seth's ID came up and I desperately hoped he had something good to tell me.

"Edward where are you?" Fear and desperation was all I heard and I knew we were in trouble before he said anything else.

"Airport." My voice was hard as I tried to maintain control. "What's happened?"

"It's Bella…she's gone,"

###############################

There was no consideration for anyone or anything as I barged my way through the reporters who had already started to swarm outside Bella's apartment. Nothing was going to stop me from getting inside as quickly as possible to determine what had happened to my fiancé. Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett followed closely behind, ignoring the calls for information from the media but I couldn't focus on them either. Every highly strung aspect of my being was concentrating on one thing and one thing only – Bella….. and how I was going to get her back.

Two police officers stood at the door and refused to let me in and I saw red. Fucking no way were they going to stop me from getting inside and I was ready to lose it with them when a vaguely familiar voice ordered them to allow me access, explaining that the five of us were basically family. I looked up into the eyes of Detective Parker and they showed real concern which only made this more agonizing. I had to accept that Bella had disappeared and all my energy needed to go into finding her and bringing her back where she belonged.

As soon as we were inside Seth rushed towards me, leaving a very distraught Ellie sitting on the couch being consoled by a female police officer. Seth's face was contorted into a combination of fear and frustration.

"I'm sorry Edward. I have no idea how this happened. This morning she was fine, joking over the regular things and talking about how she was looking forward to you getting home. I left at about nine to meet Ellie for the day and when we came home I found Dean slumped in the hallway and Bella gone. She had been studying because all of her books and stuff were out. She didn't go out of her own accord because everything she owns is still here."

The table she had been sitting at did indeed point to her studying. My eyes narrowed as I saw her phone sitting there. Twenty two missed calls were registered on it; all from me. She had been missing since at least ten this morning. It was now four.

"Is Dean alright?" It was hard to ask the question. If someone was willing to go so far as kill Dean to get to Bella then there was a huge chance that I would never see Bella again.

"I am not sure. I called an ambulance so he is at the hospital. He looked like he was in a coma when we got here. I thought he was dead but he was just breathing."

"I've spoken to a doctor from the hospital and it seems that he was injected with Phenobarbital. It causes the central system to slowly shut down and sometimes puts the person into a coma. They are trying to remove as much of the drug as possible to help him survive but given how long he has been out for, they are not sure of a good outcome," Detective Parker related this information to us with very little feeling as he stuck with the facts. All I could do was scream in my head that it was probable that the same drug was used on Bella and we needed to get to her fast to give her some kind of chance.

Parker continued with his facts. "It appears to us that Dean was moved into the apartment after he was unconscious. There is also evidence that the door was jimmied so the assailant got in without Bella being aware. There is no sign of a fight so we believe James took her by surprise and somehow drugged her; we are not sure if it was with the same drug as that used for Dean…."

What the fuck? "James? Did you just say James?" My mind was getting foggier by the moment. "How the hell could this be James when he is sitting in a jail somewhere?"

Detective Parker looked suddenly nervous and I realized he hadn't meant for that information to come out the way it did. "James escaped from custody this morning on the way to a physciatric hospital. He has been displaying some alarming behaviours that the jail was not willing to deal with and the choice was made to transfer him with police guard. Somehow he…"

"Enough," I screamed at the detective and felt Alice instantly at my side trying to give me some support. She would know that I was losing my mind right now and she tentatively reached her hand out to me so I could grip it with ungentle fingers. "I don't want to fucking know how someone like James managed to escape and then managed to get hold of drugs to use on my fiancé, all within such a small time frame. I want Bella and I want her now. You need to get out there and figure out where she is and fucking SAVE her. That man is psychotic. He will stop at nothing to hurt her because it will kill me…." the sobs came thick and fast now and I couldn't think about the shame of them "and that is his ultimate goal. He is never, ever going to let me stop fucking paying. Find Bella….god please…find Bella."

The next hour and a half went excruciatingly slowly as we waited for some kind of news about where to even start looking for Bella. The police were all over Bella and Seth's apartment trying to get prints and clues as to what happened. Emmett and Rosalie left for a short time to see if there was anything to be found at my apartment, that would help us in our search, but we all knew there wouldn't be. I was slowly dying inside imagining all the things that Bella could be going through as we sat incapacitated in her apartment just waiting. I needed to do something but there was nothing to do. It was complete torture and I had absolutely no control. Alice never left my side, her arm slung across my back as I sat dejectedly on the sofa, sometimes rubbing my face anxiously and other times pulling my hair in torturous fury. How on earth had we got to this point? Shit. How could James escape at such a convenient time when I wasn't around to protect the women I loved? How could I be just sitting here while Bella was out there alone with a madman and no one to help her?

When Charlie Swan burst into the apartment it was like an eruption of massive proportions.

"How the hell did this happen, Parker? What are you doing to find my daughter? I hope you have every unit available out there looking for this bastard and you want to hope that they find him before I do because I will kill him if I get my hands on him – I can promise you that. Nothing and noone will stop me."

"I understand your anger," Parker intervened " but Charlie you need to calm down."

The tendons in Charlie's neck had formed thick rigid cords of stress, displaying the fact that he was beyond angry. "Do not tell me to calm down. My daughter is out there somewhere. She does not deserve this. We need to fix it."

I was vaguely aware when Jasper approached Charlie and detective Parker and a discussion was held about how James had escaped. I heard Charlie yelling that the police should have been onto it as soon as they realized James had escaped and been over here to protect Bella. I half listened as the detective explained to Charlie how the transfer had taken place at the wrong time, morning instead of afternoon, so they weren't aware that the escape had happened until way too late. Somehow luck had taken James' side today and that only bode ill for Bella. All my thoughts were targeted on Bella only. Where would he have taken her? He would aim for the biggest impact on hurting me so I needed to get into his mind and find the place he would feel would do that. My own brain was coming up blank. James had the upperhand.

_Please god, please keep her safe. Please make her strong enough to endure whatever he has in mind for her. Please let me find her. I will do anything if you can just keep her safe for me._

"He's been keeping tabs on anything to do with the two of them. The guards found a diary dedicated to newspaper clippings of their engagement, their public outings and any articles written about the two of them. It was one of the reasons they thought he was losing it. Apparently their engagement sent him into a downward spiral and he has been obsessing ever since, even going so far as telling other inmates that he was Edward and that Bella was his. They decided to transfer once he began to self harm and was attempting to carve Bella's name into his forearm and wrists."

This conversation caught my attention and I felt the bile rise from my stomach as the overwhelming desire to be sick came over me.

"The guy is a frigging freak," Emmett asserted with feeling as I rushed to the toilet to relieve myself of whatever happened to be in my stomach. James' obsession and actions were carefully designed to allow him an opportunity to escape and get back at us. The fact that he was willing to go to such extremes made me feel even more acutely just how much danger Bella was in every minute she was with him. I kept heaving until I no longer had anything left to get out. This could not be happening. It had to be nothing but a nightmare that I would wake up from any moment now.

Everyone looked at me with sympathy as I left the bathroom, having doused myself with water and I wanted to yell at all of them to forget about me and get on with finding Bella but no words came out.

"We've got everything we need from here Edward so we are going to go back to the station to try and sort through everything and pinpoint where James might have taken Bella. We will find her son. We are putting every resource possible into it." Detective Parker was trying to be positive but I couldn't see anything remotely worth feeling hopeful about. Within minutes the police officers had left the apartment, including Charlie who had given me a quick squeeze on my shoulder and his own confirmation. "She is strong Edward. We will find her and she will be fine." I knew that those words were not only for me but for himself. Charlie was not as sure as we both wanted him to be.

The atmosphere in the apartment was stifling. Seth had taken Ellie into his room to try and give her some comfort after what they had walked in on earlier in the afternoon. Both of them looked completely drained and I didn't blame them for wanting to find solace in one another. Rosalie and Alice were in the kitchen trying to prepare something for us to eat, proclaiming that we were going to have to keep our strength up if we were going to be able to help Bella at all when the time came. I did not know how I was going to force the food down my throat even though I knew what they said was true. I was pacing backwards and forwards across the small loungeroom wondering what to do next. If I couldn't do something soon, that I knew would help Bella, I was going to go crazy with grief.

No one said anything as we sat down to at least look like we were attempting to eat the sandwiches the girls had made. It tasted like sandpaper to me and gave me the sense that I wanted to heave again. I quelled the desire and pushed the food down into my stomach. My thoughts drifted to Bella; would he have given her something to eat, was she even alive right now. Turmoil reigned inside my head and it was overwhelming.

"It seems so fucking wrong to be doing nothing," Emmett all of a sudden growled as he slapped his hand down hard on the table, causing us all to look at him in surprise.

"The worst kind of sin imaginable," I croaked out through my dry lips. "She is my fiancé; the person I have every intention of being with for the rest of my life and here I am not able to do a single thing to help her."

"Once he shows his hand we will be able to help her," Jasper stated with confidence. "It is only a matter of time before he has to torture Edward with the fact that he has her and when that time comes we will know what to do. James will not be able to help himself – that is after all what this is all about – make Edward's life a living hell."

What Jasper was saying made sense but I couldn't help but think that maybe this time James had truly lost the plot and wouldn't even bother with me at all. He knew that even the smallest threat of Bella being hurt would be enough to just about kill me and he had already played that card by taking her against her will.

"The waiting is the hard part. The not knowing." I placed my head down on the table and took in some deep breaths to stop myself from crying yet again. That was not going to help Bella.

"That's why he is doing this Edward. He knows we are waiting and he knows how much that would be hurting you. Just remember that Bella is a strong woman. She will make it through this, he will go down and then the two of you will be living that life you have been fighting so long for." Rosalie forced me to look up at her by hooking her hand under my chin. "You have to believe in all that or you will lose your mind and be no help whatsoever."

I knew she was right but it was just so fucking hard.

The knock on the door halted any further conversation and Jasper, Emmett and I were up at the speed of lightening to answer it in the hope that there was news. Grant stood there in agitation and we stepped aside to let him in, disappointed that our hopes were dashed.

Grant looked at Jasper as he headed towards the television. "I went to Edward's, as you asked, to see if I could find anything that you guys might have missed and truly I don't think they had been there at all. There was however a little gift left under the door that I almost trod on as I entered," He held up an envelope addressed to me but with no postscripts on it at all. Grant pulled out the DVD that was inside it and instantly slotted into the player. The rest of us crowded around in anticipation.

"That definitely wasn't there when we were at the apartment earlier," Rosalie insisted.

Grant hit the play button and what we saw made me cringe back in horror. Bella sat tied up in a chair and her head was lolling forwards as if she was not conscious. I scanned her body quickly to see that she hadn't been physically harmed yet. It did nothing to calm my racing heart.

"Fuck," groaned Emmett but I didn't bother taking my eyes off the screen to look at his distress.

James walked from the side and put his face in the camera so that he was obstructing our view of Bella. "Hi Edward. Nice to be speaking to you again. As you can see I have a very special guest with me. Pretty as a picture she is, although at the moment a tad quiet." He laughed and the sound made my skin crawl. "I haven't had the pleasure of her spitfire passion and anger yet but I must admit I do so look forward to it. I have been yearning for it, while I was in that godforsaken jail that you two put me into. I have to admit that seeing the two of you so deliriously happy while I was stuck in a non life made me very angry Edward. Angrier even than when you killed my Victoria. That's ok though because….well….I have Bella now and there is nothing you can do about that." He leered at the camera and my fists became a ball of clenched whiteness as I forced myself not to launch at the television.

James walked over to Bella so that he was standing behind her and a growl came out of my throat as he ran his hand, almost lovingly, down the side of her head before taking a handful of her hair and lifting it to his face. "Hmmm. She really is divine, isn't she Edward? Waking up to her every morning and getting to take in her scent, hold her closely to you and loving her must have been every kind of heaven, my friend. Pity it can't ever happen for you again…me on the otherhand….well let's just say I wouldn't be adverse to it…no not at all." He bent down and moved the hair away from her neck and placed his lips right against it never taking his eyes from the camera, taunting me with his ability to touch her while I looked on unable to stop him. His words were too close to home; he was tainting my good memories of Bella's appeal when I woke to her of a morning. He was touching her in ways he had no right too. I was paralyzed with fear and a brief scanning of our group let me know they were all in shock too. This was only the beginning.

James straightened himself up and walked back towards the camera again. "I think we might just wait until our girl has woken up, hey Edward. See you soon."

The screen went black and then almost straight away lit up again, this time showing us that Bella was awake and looking defiantly at the camera.

"So here we are again and as you can see Bella is looking much better now. Say hello to your friends Bella," he leant over to sing into her ear and she closed her eyes against his closeness.

_Oh god Bella I am so sorry you have to go through this._

Bella said nothing and James chuckled. "Hmm, not in the mood for niceties hey Bella? Never mind I am sure they will understand."

James began to circle Bella and Bella was attempting not to look at him; all the time keeping her eyes looking straight ahead so that we, as the audience, had a clear look into her soul. I could see her emotions as if they were my own; she was scared and she was resigned and she was trying very hard to rein in her panic. "So, my sweet Bella, what are we going to do with you? It seems such a shame for you to pay for your boyfriend's sins but I am afraid you're my best way of making him squirm." When he put his hand out to stroke her cheek she hissed at him and moved her head so his fingers missed her face. Another one of his chuckles followed. My fingers were now embedded deeply in my thighs and Jasper was doing his best to offer me his support with a not so gentle hand on my shoulder. He was reacting to her distress as much as I was.

"How does it feel to know that your fiancé is a murderer Bella? Everyone thinks he is this amazing person worthy of idolising but really he is nothing but scum who causes people to kill themselves. He is not worthy of you loving him….you should love someone better, like me."

Bella looked at him incredulously and narrowed her eyes. "I would rather die than be with you," She spat out with hatred.

_Shit. Don't antagonize him Bella. Keep him calm._

He pulled her hair back and gave it a hard tug but she didn't make a sound even though the expression on her face showed that it hurt.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bella." James snarled "I might just decide that you're not worth keeping around, even though I have so many things I want to explore with you." A shudder of revulsion moved through Bella and it was mirrored in every member of our group who sat there hopelessly looking on.

James was now down on his haunches beside Bella's chair and she was staring at him uncertainly. "You know you could make this so much easier for yourself if you just admitted to what we already know about Edward. All I want you to do is tell the world that Edward is a murderer and that he beats you up all the time. That way he can go to jail and people will see him for who he really is."

Bella's eyes widened at what he was demanding she do.

_Just do what he says Bella and maybe you can get out of this relatively unscathed._

James was becoming angry as Bella remained tightlipped, refusing to do as he asked. "Do it," He yelled and Bella flinched at his anger. She nodded slowly and looked directly at the camera.

"I am sorry Edward, I truly am but…."

_Please don't apologise. This is my doing, not yours. Say what he wants and keep yourself safe. Please Bella, please._

Bella sighed, head cast down and then she squared her shoulders looking back towards the camera and it was almost like she was speaking to me only.

"Edward Cullen is…. the most loving man I have ever encountered and the thought that he could possibly have hurt anyone, let alone murdered someone is ridiculous. James, it is because of you that Victoria died…Edward had nothing to do with it."

A loud crack could be heard as we all watched in horror as James backhanded Bella across her face causing her whole chair to topple over, crashing to the floor so that she was no longer in view of the camera.

_You are wrong Bella. I would happily murder him in the worst possible way for what he just did to you, if I just knew where to find you. To save you I would do anything._

"You fucking little bitch" James yelled at her as he stood over looking down at what we could not see. My breath was caught in my throat as I leapt up, with nowhere to go. I was pulling at my hair in absolute despair now as people were moaning and groaning around me.

"God Bella don't make him hurt you like this. Tell him what he wants to hear. Why would she do this?" I muttered at no one in particular but it was Alice who answered through her own tears.

"She loves you."

"No, no, no. Not like this. She needs to be watching her own back. She's the one in danger."

James pulled Bella back up so that she was now in view again. The dark red imprint on her face was evidence of how hard he had hit her and a small trickle of blood was coming from her nose. I wanted to kill him in that moment for what he had done to her; what he was still doing.

"If you want to save your life Bella you need to tell your man that he is a murderer and that you want to be with me for the rest of your life. I can do things to you that he would never even dream of. Say it Bella; tell him that you want me."

The guy was mad. He was all over the place, demanding things that didn't even make sense. He was torn between making me pay, outing me as a murderer and then trying to convince Bella that she should love him. As he said the last words I could see in his face that he was no longer just seeking his revenge, he was trying to make Bella his. I wasn't sure if that would help her or go against her.

"Go to hell," Bella spat at him and he backhanded her once more but this time she stayed upright and she gave him a look of utter scorn as the welt began to appear on her face. I was going to be sick again, I could feel it. The fury was overcoming me and it was eating away at my insides.

James looked at Bella speculatively. "Lucky for you, I kind of like the spunk in you Bella. I see it as a challenge. No female has ever challenged me the way you do so I am going to keep you around….. for a little while anyway. Have you got any last words for your lover Bella. It is so important for us to have closure, don't you think?"

A chair was pulled from outside the frame and James casually sat on it facing Bella from the side, waiting for her to say something.

Bella's brown eyes burnt through the screen as I held my breath waiting for her words. She allowed herself to be completely open as she showed me with her eyes and her fighting smile all her feelings of pain, trust, hope, fear and above all else love.

"I know you are all there because there is no way any of you would let Edward go through this alone. I want you to know that I love every single one of you. You are my family. No matter what happens," she flicked her eyes across to James and he smirked unabashedly at her, "I want you to know how happy you've all made me."

"How fucking sweet," James drawled but Bella ignored him and kept speaking. I watched her form the words but it was almost like I was out of body. She believed she was saying her final goodbyes and my heart was breaking with the hopelessness of that. My attention was being held by the small trickles of blood that were still coming from her nose and I wondered how she could be so calm when she was hurting and when she had no idea what the creep by her side was about to do to her.

"Edward. This is not your fault. We chose this together and it was worth it; I promise you that." I clutched at my chest; it felt like it was exploding from lack of air. She can't be going through this. This couldn't be the last I saw of her. The pain would be too much. I would literally die if that was the case.

"I love you beyond anything I can say right now Edward but….." Her head twisted as she sent a death stare at James who did not appear to be concerned at all "since it's highly probable that I won't get out of here alive I need you to do two things for me."

"Hurry it up Bella, we don't have all day." James played with his finger nails as if what she was saying was insubstantial. Ass hole.

"Tell my dad how much I love him and how I will always be nearby," She looked at me meaningfully but didn't pause. "and secondly you need to tell Jacob how close I feel to him right now and how it is important for him to remember all the good times we had together as teenagers hiding out from the oldies. It is the only thing that will get him through and I love him too much to make….,"

"Ok enough with the violins Bella, we have better things to be doing with our time." James stood up from the chair and strode up to the camera. "I'll be in touch Eddie boy." and the screen went silent and black.

I looked around the room in a kind of comatose state. Everyone had the same shell shocked look on their face. It was safe to say that all of us were completely frightened for Bella's safety and ability to get out of this situation now. Fuck…..I was going to lose her to that creep. I reached into the recesses of my mind as Jasper asked Grant to play it again so that we could get any ideas from the environment about where they were. I could not cope with watching it again. Seeing Bella in such a vulnerable position and having to listen to her words of love and pain would completely undo me and I had a strong feeling that I was missing something important. I needed to think and I moved myself into Bella's bedroom in order to do so without interruption. I struggled to compose myself when I entered the place where we had shared so many good times together. Now was not the time for me to lose it. Bella needed our help and I was not going to wait any longer to give it to her. I thought about the way Bella seemed so focused during her message at the end of the DVD. It was like she was choosing her words very carefully and was trying to let me know something important. There had been a slight tightening around her eyes when she mentioned Jacob and although she was in a dire situation there had almost been hope when she mentioned him.

"_Tell my dad how much I love him and how I will always be nearby," _Was there a clue in that?

"_tell Jacob how close I feel to him right now" _ Had she emphasized the words 'close' and 'right now'?

"_important for him to remember all the good times we had together as teenagers hiding out" _There was no reason for Bella to taunt me with the thought of her and Jacob together as teenagers and partners unless she was trying to get a message across to me. She wasn't that unkind.

Something lit up in my head and I scrambled out of the bedroom to yell at the others, who still had their eyes glued to the television and were discussing how it appeared that Bella was in some sort of cabin, although it was too dark to see clearly.

"Grant, you need to get this video to the police and explain that we have gone after Bella. The rest of you come with me."

"What?" Emmett boomed. "We can't just start chasing our tails Edward. We could lose valuable time if we go on a chase that leads us nowhere."

"Bella is in La Push." I yelled back at him as everyone looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "She just told us that in the video and we need to head that way, so stop wasting time."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked unconvinced. "I didn't hear her….."

"Yes I am sure. Grant can explain everything to the police and make sure they get out there but right now we need to get Jacob on the phone. He is the only one who can tell us exactly where she is."

The excitement hummed through me as I flew out the door with the others following class behind, for the first time feeling that maybe we had a small chance of saving Bella. We were a step closer, I could feel it and there was no way I was going to allow myself to think too carefully about the possibility that we were too late. We just couldn't be. Life without Bella would be no life at all.


	47. Chapter 47: Fight to Get it Back Again

**As always, thanks for the reviews.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter 47

EPOV: Fight to Get it Back Again

They wouldn't let me drive; of course they weren't going to let me drive. I was in no state to be behind the wheel but I wanted them to go faster. The thrum of adrenaline was coursing through my body as I yelled at Emmett to hurry up. Rose sat in the back seat speaking on the phone to the other car that was following us. Grant was driving that one with Alice, Jasper and Seth as his passengers. Our plans had changed when Grant made it quite clear he wouldn't be staying behind to speak to the police; he was coming with us. The talking to the police was left to Ellie who no doubt was trying to explain the situation as we raced through the streets of Seattle in our own bid to save one of our own. I was trying desperately to get a hold of Jacob by phone but he wasn't answering. If I didn't need the phone so much right now it would be a mess of scrap metal thrown out the window; I was so angry.

"Emmett, pull over here," Rosalie suddenly demanded of her husband and I turned to give her a death glare. No way were we stopping now. It was a three hour car ride to Forks and I was expecting Emmett to do everything possible to get there in less time. Stopping was not conducive to that goal.

"Don't even think about it," I grated at Emmett and his eyes widened in uncertainty.

"Emmett stop the car. Jasper needs us to change our plans. They are stopping too."

The car skidded to a halt and I was out of the seat quickly, ranting at Jasper who was calmly stepping out of Grant's car.

"What the hell are we stopping for? That video was made hours ago. He could have done anything to her in that time. Anything," I choked back the sudden urge to grab him by the throat and take out all my fury on him. "It is going to take us fucking hours to get there. Hours more where Bella is alone with that fucking madman and you are stopping us as if we have all the time in the world. Get back into the car Jasper or I swear to god I will not be held responsible for what I do to you,"

Jasper's look of sympathy did nothing to diminish my anger; in fact it urged it on and we were almost head to head before I noted that his hands were up in surrender.

"It's going to take too long to drive Edward. I've organised with a friend of mine to charter his helicopter. He is getting it ready now so we need to head towards the airport, not Forks."

A rush of relief almost made me collapse with the thought that we could get there sooner than I had hoped. Thank god someone else was thinking straight amongst all this chaos because I certainly wasn't. I grabbed Jasper in a heartfelt hug of thanks. No matter what, Jasper had my back and thought through things under pressure.

"The thing is that he can take three passengers only. The rest of us will still have to drive."

"I'm with Edward," Emmett announced. "We're going to take this sucker down, right bro?"

Jasper didn't even attempt to argue with him. "I thought so ….and I have organised Charlie to meet you at the airport. He will be the third passenger. He was on his way back to the apartment when I called him so I can't imagine he is far behind us now. The rest of us will see you in La Push. Charlie told me to go to Billy Black's home when we got there – that he would know what's going on and what we need to do next. Now go. The sooner you are on the helicopter the sooner you will find Bella."

"I can't get onto Jacob," It was all well and good that I was getting to LaPush quicker but without Jacob I had no idea where to start looking. That was his territory.

Seth was the one to answer. "He was in Alaska when I rang him this afternoon to let him know what was going on. He had been staying with Irina and her family. He said he would get the first flight out. Maybe he is still in the air?"

"Once I have dropped you guys off I will wait at the airport for him and make sure he rings as soon as possible. Send the helicopter back here and he and I can come down and meet up with you quickly."

I needed no more spurring on and was in the car almost instantly as everyone quickly changed our original positions within the cars. Grant was now driving Emmett and I to the airport while the others began their trip to La Push. I watched semi detached as Rosalie gripped onto Emmett before allowing him to follow me into the car. "Please be careful, Em. You can kick some butt as long as yours is not at risk. Are you hearing me?" He gave her a fleetingly passionate kiss and then we were on our way.

The helicopter got us to Forks within the hour and we were soon landing on the oval of the highschool where I noticed that my father was waiting impatiently for us. Another organizational aspect of Jasper's that went beyond my current state of thinking. The four of us immediately made our way to Charlie's police station where he quickly briefed his men about what was happening and how more police would be arriving from Seattle to help with the search. He grabbed a variety of things while I champed at the bit to get going. Every minute we didn't find Bella was a minute more where she was enduring god knows what at James' hands. We were about to get into the cruiser to make our way to Billy Black's in La Push when my mother came racing up with two backpacks held tightly in her arms.

"Boys. Take these. I put together some things that you might need when you find Bella." She shoved the bags at Emmett and I and then took me into a bone crushing hug. "Edward Anthony Cullen. You will find Bella and she will come back to all of us. I have every faith that this is how it will turn out."

She grabbed Emmett, Carlisle and myself and held us tightly. "Please be careful, my boys. I want my WHOLE family back in one piece."

The short trip into LaPush seemed to go on forever. The tension was thick in the cab of the cruiser as discussions were held about what to do next. Charlie had decided that we would set up camp at Billy Black's house as he and the other Quilette's would have a good knowledge of the area and might be able to give us some clues as to where James could be holding Bella. I was struggling to think straight; to try and find some kind of plan in my head that would result in Bella being back with me instead of holed up with that monster. It was apparent that as much as Charlie wanted it to be otherwise that we would not be starting to look for Bella until morning when the light would allow us to scour the woods more readily. Fuck no. That was not an option for me. I didn't care how dangerous the woods were at night; I didn't care that the likelihood of me finding her in the darkness was next to nothing. I was not going to sit back and wait for more hours to pass before I started looking for her. I owed it to Bella to give her less time with the creep. No one else heard my thoughts but Emmett gave me a look of compassion as if he understood.

Billy Black was waiting for us when we arrived, as were about eight other members of the Quilettes. His home was instantly made into a place of organised commotion as everyone started scanning maps of the area and were giving advice about where to start looking. There were a number of abandoned buildings throughout the reservation that would need to be looked at. I listened and watched attentively, knowing that Bella's life depended on the decisions made here tonight. Jacob had still not called and I was becoming more and more frustrated that we were now closer to James but still not able to do anything concrete. It felt like we were back to base one.

Charlie's commanding voice rang through the night. "Ok, I think we have the plans set out for first light. Everyone go home and get some rest. Meet back here at four am on the dot. As soon as that sun rises we are out of here."

I glared accusingly at Charlie as everyone began to follow his instructions. "You can't be serious Charlie. We can't leave her out there for the whole night. We need to go find her now."

Charlie's look was one of pain and conflict. "I can't risk it Edward. These woods aren't safe at night. There would be no way of finding her. The boys have already been out and done a scan of the area and came up with nothing. He has her well hidden and us crashing around with torches isn't going to help find her. Our best bet is to wait until the morning when we can do something meaningful to get MY daughter back." He looked at his watch and sighed heavily. "It's only four hours away" His voice had ridden higher as he spoke of Bella and if I wasn't feeling so completely useless and angry right now I would have felt sorry for his brokenness.

"We can take another look – maybe we would have better luck. I don't care about the danger," One look at his face and I knew he wasn't going to give in and it made me angry. "Fine Charlie. I fully intend to go on my own, if I have to, because I love her and if you were any kind of a father you'd be doing the same."

"Enough. This is not a choice Edward. My daughter means everything to me and in order for us to save her we need to not be walking into a suicide mission." His face had tightened into a grotesque mask of pain as he tried to contain his anger at my suggestion that he was letting her down. "Bella deserves to have the person she loves here when we finally get her, not dead somewhere in the woods because he was trying to play the hero."

I was about to step up to Charlie and physically vent my anger on something palpable – him – when Emmett came over and forcefully guided me to Jacob's room that Billy had offered we shared for a few hours of sleep. As if that was going to happen?

Emmett was physically restraining me from reentering the loungeroom to finish my argument with Charlie and finally I deflated into anguish.

"I can't do this Emmett. I can't wait four more hours to even start looking for her,"

"I know it's hard, but it makes sense Edward. We are not going to be any good to her if we get lost out there in the woods or worse. Charlie knows what he is doing. You don't think he would be out there right now if he thought we even had a small chance of finding her? That girl is his life Edward. He is not taking this decision lightly."

"She is my life too Emmett," I whispered and he clamped his hand around me tighter before pushing me into the bunk that someone had set up for us.

"I know Edward and that is why I know you will not risk her by doing anything stupid now. Get some sleep, or at least rest so that you are at your best when you need to be."

I laid back with my hands under my head staring at the roof. Every time I attempted to close my eyes Bella's frightened face would haunt me and I groaned in defeat. I looked over at the bed Emmett was lying in to see that he had managed to find some way to fall asleep. That was just not going to happen for me, so I got up quietly and headed out to the front porch where everything was in darkness and silence. I sat down wearily, centering my stare on the woods out in front of me. There was nothing to be seen. It was pitch black.

_Was Bella hurting right now?_

_Was I right in believing she was in LaPush? _

_What if I had misinterpreted her message? _

_What if I had brought us all here on a wild goose hunt?_

_Was I capable of helping her through this?_

_Would I be able to save her?_

_Had James followed through on his threat to have her in ways that I couldn't even comprehend?_

The sound of my phone beeping startled me out of my morose thoughts. I flicked it open and growled at the man at the other end. 

"About time Jake. Where the hell have you been?"

"Delayed flight. We circled Seattle for over an hour because of a backlog. Grant and I are about to get in the helicopter so I will be there soon." Jacob's voice was strained. "Listen Edward. The place Bella is talking about is an old run down hut that used to be a rangers hut. The thing is; it is not actually part of La Push. You are going to have to go further into the wilderness to find her. It is part of the National Park but where the hut is, is on the outskirts of our lands. When you are looking at the maps go beyond the trails of La push. It is about 500 metres from the Quillayute river, towards Mora Campground. It is hard to find because it is so overgrown and that was years ago so I can only imagine that it is even worse now."

"Thanks Jacob. I am looking at the maps now," I had entered the house to find the maps still spread out where Charlie and his team had left them in readiness for the morning. I found the area Jacob was alluding to but of course there was no picture of a cabin guiding me to my destination.

"I will be there on 50 minutes and we can get out there. Let my dad know what we have discussed."

"Your dad's asleep Jacob."

"What the fuck?"

"Charlie is not letting anyone leave until first light. Said it was too dangerous and he wouldn't risk anything from stopping us getting to Bella."

"Shit. No way. Surely you're not going to take that one lying down Edward. Wait for me and then we are going. I don't care what time it is. We are going to get Bella. Charlie can go to …"

Jacob's words petered out and I heard his voice muffled as he spoke to someone else.

"Fuck. That is all we need. Edward, are you there? The pilot has just been told that he can't get clearance to leave because of it being the middle of the night. Grant is going to try and talk the officials around. I'll get back to you."

The phone went dead and I drew my attention back to the maps. I now knew where Bella was, even though I couldn't pinpoint it exactly on the map. It would make sense for me to wait for my one ally in this situation, Jacob, to come since he knew this place back to front and had been to the cabin before but the fact that he was being delayed yet again grated on my nerves. I tossed up the idea of waking Emmett but then I thought of Rosalie and how she was scared that he was going to play the hero and get hurt. I couldn't do that to either of them. This was my mess and I needed to fix it. Even if I woke everyone up to tell them where Bella was they would insist in waiting for the safety of daylight and I was not willing to do that any longer. I needed to get to Bella so that I could protect her. The others would follow and we could take James down but for the moment I just wanted to be beside her; to let her know that she wasn't in this on her own.

With that decision made I grabbed the backpack mum had forced me to take and searched the cabin for some sort of weapon. Charlie had been very careful not to leave any of his guns out for me or Emmett to access. He was probably worried that I would do something drastic, like kill James, if I got my hands on that kind of weapon. He was probably right, because at this given point in time I didn't think I would bat an eyelash if I had the opportunity to end James' life. The only thing I could find was a knife but it would have to do.

The beach seemed my best starting point since Jacob had said that it was just off the river and I could follow the river from there. I was entirely sure that there would be a quicker way across country but since it was dark and I had absolutely no bearings to help me find my way I chose the safer route. I might be being foolish with this little endeavour but I wasn't completely clueless.

Hiking in the darkness is no field trip and there were many times I slipped and fell into either the water or into ditches. The light of my torch got lost in the inkiness of the night so I couldn't see too far beyond myself. At one point I realized I was going to need to cross the river to be on the correct side and when I found a spot that looked the narrowest I made the attempt, only to lose my footing halfway across and becoming drenched in the cold water. I eventually found my way to the other side and had to give myself a few minutes to compose myself before continuing towards Bella.

When I got to the empty campground I knew I had missed the cabin. Jacob had told me it was towards the campground, not after it. I dejectedly turned myself around to head back the way I had come and began to scour the woods in the five hundred metre radius that Jacob had told me about. It seemed like an eternity before I saw a soft light coming from between the densely populated trees and I switched off my torch to quickly make my way towards it.

Jacob had been right. The building was decrepit and it was nearly overgrown with nature. If it hadn't been for the light I would never have found it. Thank goodness James was stupid enough not to turn off every bit of light. The cocky bastard obviously thought he had very little chance of being caught here. He hadn't figured on my girl's smart thinking or her family's determination to find her.

When I looked through the window I saw that James was asleep in one corner of the room while Bella remained tied up to a chair a few metres away. Her appearance took my breath away and it was all I could do not to scream out a howl of outrage at what he had done to her. Her beautiful face was battered into a mix of purple and red marks and her eyes were squinted close in pain as it lolled backwards exposing her neck to me. There were little nicks along her neck where it was obvious that he had pushed a knife against her neck enough to draw blood. Her hair was a matt of chaos and her clothes were dirty and torn. I shied away from what that could possibly mean. Get her out of here first and then deal with what had actually happened in my absence.

Her whole body was shivering from the cold of the night as she sat with no covering to keep her warm. James was cosily sleeping under a blanket and I cursed the way his mind worked that he could hurt someone as innocent as Bella while sating his own needs. He was going to die for this. One way or another, it was going to happen.

Bella stirred and her eyes slowly came open to look towards James. She began to struggle with the ties around her wrists but each movement brought out a silent cry of pain from her mouth. It was evident that she was feeling pain beyond what I could see. I needed to get in there and help her. As that thought flitted into my mind Bella looked up towards the window and her eyes widened in surprise before lighting up with hope. Her eyes were drawn towards James again and she shook her head quickly in the negative as I watched him roll over so that he was facing Bella.

"Stop groaning Bella. I can't get any sleep while you make those god awful noises. I need to rest for tomorrow so I can show you what a real man can do." The jeering tone of James' voice was eerie and I wanted to cover my ears to try and ignore his connotations.

"I need some water James. I can hardly breathe, I am so parched." Bella spoke through her cracked lips and he reluctantly lifted his head to look at her.

"and you think I care because?"

"Because you are the moron who just asked me to stop groaning. I am making these noises because I can't breathe." the tone in her voice was sarcastic and insolent.

_I needed to speak to Bella about the way she spoke to prospective killers. It was almost like she was trying to goad him._

"Hmmm Bella. You do know how to push my buttons, don't you? I love that fire in you. Nothing scares you, does it? Even though you are here tied up, all alone you still think you have a right to demand something of me." James got up from his place on the broken bed and sauntered over to Bella's side and she tensed up straight away. He licked his lips. "How about I moisten your mouth in a different way?" he questioned as he leant down to press his lips against hers. Rage filled me, not for the first time. It was almost my undoing because he could not get away with what he was doing, but as I was about to go barging into the room I saw that Bella was pleading with her eyes to stop as she moved her head side to side in a desperate no. Of course James laughed, thinking she was doing it to stop him from his invasion of her mouth but I knew better; she was telling me to not jump the gun.

"No better?" James scoffed. "I guess you can have a little of mine then. I don't want you incapacitated for tomorrow, now do I?" He moved over to the corner and picked up a drink bottle. It was empty.

"Shoot. None left. You'll just have to wait, princess." He was about to throw the bottle back into the corner when he took a look at Bella's face and changed his mind. "I am a little thirsty myself. I'll be back in a minute."

I ducked out of the way just in time as he opened the cabin door and headed down towards the river with the bottle. I considered quietly going up behind him and jumping him so that I could slit his throat and be done with it all but the slightest sliver of doubt embedded itself in my brain. What if he took me out instead and then Bella would be left to bear his wrath on her own. I quickly made the decision to go in and try and get her out before he returned.

In haste I ran to Bella's side and cut the ropes that were tying her to the chair.

"Oh god Edward. You understood. Thank god you understood," Bella panted as I tried to lift her up from her seat. She bit her lip as she tried to hold in the squeal of pain that my actions brought about for her.

"What is it?" I questioned in concern.

"My arm. He broke my arm." My eyes looked downwards to where her arm hung loosely by her side.

"Fuck Bella. I am …"

"No time." she breathed through the pain. "His gun. It is under the bed. Grab it before he comes back."

"I need to get you out of here first," I argued.

"Without the gun we don't stand a chance," she whispered weakly "Get it."

I placed her back down gently and rushed to the bed, feeling underneath for the cold metal feeling of a gun. Nothing.

"I can't find it, Bella" I stated in a panic. I needed to get her out of here, gun or no gun.

"Edward," Bella screamed and I twirled towards her voice, already knowing that I had failed once again.

"Is this what you're looking for?" James grinned at me madly as he held a gun trained to Bella's head.

"Welcome Edward. I must say this is quite the surprise but I couldn't have written it better myself."

I took a step towards him to get the gun moved away from Bella's temple and it worked much to my relief. I looked down the barrel of his gun now and all I could do was be glad it was directed at me and not Bella.

"This is between you and me James. Just let her go,"

"What? I would never let poor Bella out there in the big bad woods all by herself in the middle of the night. What kind of man do you think I am?"

_A fucking demented one._

"Give me one good reason why I don't just shoot you now Cullen?" As he spoke I heard the very clear click of the gun being readied to let go of a shot.

"No," Bella screamed. "Kill me. It will hurt him more. Let him live and he will always have me on his conscious. It will ruin his life if you let him go. I promise." Her voice was desperate and I yelled at her in a way I have never yelled at her before.

"Shut up Bella. This is about me, not you. Just shut up."

"Yes Bella. You need to close that god damned mouth," and James lifted the butt of the gun and smashed it against Bella's skull.

I died a million deaths right there.

**So who do you think is going to be the hero of the day and help our lovers out of their dilemma ?**

**Or do you think it will be all left to Edward to be the knight in shining armor?**

**Love to hear your thoughts so please review.**


	48. Chapter 48: Fight to Get it Back Again 2

**I know, I now….James needs to go down!**

Chapter 48

EPOV – Fighting to Get it Back Again

James did not stop me as I fell down at Bella's side and took her gingerly into my lap so that I would do no more damage to her broken arm. I stared at him in horror. How could one person have that much evil within him? I fully expected for a blow to come to my head and I almost welcomed it; anything would be better than watching him hurt Bella again but then I berated myself. Bella was out cold and I was the only thing standing between this madman and her. I could not let myself consider giving up; as soon as I gave up, Bella was all his and all that he had done to her so far would pale in comparison to what he would do to her then.

"I guess we both lost our tempers with poor Bella there, hey?" James sneered as he walked calmly to sit on the bed, never taking his eyes off me. "I do love her fire Edward but I have to admit she was fucking confusing me as to what to do; kill you or kill her?" His lanky fingers grazed his chin as he sat there musing.

I ignored his words, placing my hand against the open wound on Bella's head that was weeping blood against my jeans. I tore off some of the material from my jacket and folded it into a sort of plug. I knew that head wounds bleed more readily than other abrasions so I tried to tell myself that the cut was not deep and wouldn't have long term effects. It was hard to do, when Bella was not responding to my administrations and I couldn't see her pupils to make sure that they were not unequal in size. There was a little dried blood at her nose but I knew that that had come from his earlier slap and not from this most recent assault. Thankfully, too, her ears were clear of any blood or fluids so I held onto my hope that she would be ok; that she was not hemorrhaging internally which would cause brain damage or worse, death. I held onto her for dear life and promised myself that that was the last time James touched Bella. I was going to fucking rip him apart if he made any further attempts to harm her.

"Wow, you have it bad, Eddie boy. I have never been that enamored with a chick that I would willingly put my life on the line for her. They are all whores." James stepped towards us and I literally growled at him causing him to smirk and step back with his hands up in the air as if in surrender. Then he laughed.

"You do know that I am the one with the gun here, don't you Cullen?"

My answer was a stare of loathing. He was going to have to kill me before I allowed him near her again. I kept those words to myself because in order for Bella to survive, I needed too as well and I didn't want to goad him.

"So, let's talk while our woman is asleep, shall we?" James sat back on the bed in a completely relaxed state.

Nothing from me.

"I am assuming since you were stupid enough to come on your own that the others are not aware that you are here…yet… so I have nothing to worry about on that front."

_Well Jacob knew but would he get here on time?_

"I am surprised at how quickly you got here. I made that idiot guard from the jail deliver the DVD package to your home late this afternoon and I know that there were no marks on the package – or did he stuff that up too. You really can't trust the help these days." James said condescendingly, answering one of the questions we had been asking all day. How had he managed to do this on his own? Where had the drugs and the ability to escape come from? I now had a sort of answer; not that it was going to help me right now.

"Did he squeal on me? Is that how you knew where to find us? I thought I had hidden my tracks so well too."

Silence.

"Edward you are not being much of a conversationalist here. You need to give me something," He lightly stroked the gun in his hand and then looked at me in seriousness. "Or do you want me to knee cap your lady here so that all she wakes up to is pure fucking pain?"

He was just the kind of sick bastard who would do it too.

I forced the words past my lips. "No, he didn't squeal. We had no idea about this person you speak of at all. I worked it out on my own from watching the DVD."

"Well I guess that is one thing," James considered. "I was sure that the idiot wouldn't have put his family at risk for a loser such as yourself. Glad to see that I was right on one account." He looked around the room to try and work out what had given his location away. It was pretty nondescript and generally rundown with no particular way for someone to recognise it in a video setup. Then his eyes fell on Bella.

"Ah. I see I underestimated our little lady's cleverness. Shit. She got a message to you through that final goodbye didn't she?" James eyes became cloudy for a moment and then cleared. "Ah, a worthy opponent after all"

"She is not fucking yours," I stated viciously as I moved my body slightly to shield her from his lustful glances.

"Oh but she will be Edward, once she wakes up. I have every intention of making you watch while I prove to her that she wants me and not you. It will be your punishment. Killing you would be way too easy."

Every muscle in my body tensed in protest of what he was suggesting. I looked down into the bruised face of Bella and gently stroked her hair away from her face as I thought about how I could protect her until the rest of the guys got here. Surely Jacob would make sure they were here as soon as possible. I had no chance against a gun but I knew that I would do everything possible to keep him from her anyway. Delaying tactics were needed. I kept stroking Bella's head in the hopes that it would give her some kind of comfort through her pain and then faced James. I wasn't going to delve into his words too closely and changed the subject abruptly.

"Why La Push?"

"Ah. So you want to talk now? Yes well. I wanted to punish both you and Bella's dad. You don't threaten me and get away with it asshole. La Push is smack bang in Charlie's territory; how fitting that they find the body of his daughter right under his nose when the time came and him never knowing that she was even here. Teach him to taunt me and make me rot in a prison cell. I guess the surprise aspect is now gone for that one but hey, plans change." James expression turned to one of malevolence and he smirked at me for the umpteenth time. How I would love to wipe that smile off his fucking face.

"As for you, I thought it would be appropriate for you to lose your love back in the place where it all started. You see I've been keeping close tabs on the two of you and I know a bit of your back story. The magazines said that you two met at a wedding in Forks so here we are."

"You shouldn't always believe what the media say James. More often than not they get it wrong,"

James quirked his eyebrow at me and then continued as if I hadn't spoken.

"I scoped out this place last year when I first came for Bella and well it seemed ideal at the time. Funnily enough I haven't had the time or the ability to find anything else since then so here we are…. pity though that I chose a place Bella knew so well. That was not part of my plan. I was going to kill Bella and leave her very conveniently outside your parent's home. I could only imagine the pain that would bring to you Edward. The very thought of it gives me the best dreams possible," James sighed forcefully and I cringed. "I wanted to have some fun with her first though. She is such a feisty little thing and that is something I am not used to. You being here though, hmmmm, that is the ultimate icing on the cake."

I couldn't respond to his taunting words without putting myself and Bella in danger. All the pent up anger that I had for this man was just below the surface and I was fearful that I was going to make things worse by letting it out. Instead I reached down and kissed the forehead of an unresponsive Bella to try and gain strength from her warmth and love. She was what mattered here. I needed to be strong for her.

"Enjoy it while you can Edward. Time is a ticking and as soon as she wakes, she is mine."

"Over my dead body," I snarled but didn't look at him as he laughed, concentrating instead on any changes Bella's breathing made, talking to her softly so that she wouldn't be frightened when she did wake up.

James got bored watching my ministrations and went to a bag to get himself something to eat. He sat down nonchalantly but never took his eyes away from me. Bella stirred slightly in my arms and I took her closer to my body, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"Don't open your eyes, babe. Don't let him know you are awake. I've got you but whatever you do don't let him know."

There was no way of knowing if she heard me or not because she remained limp against me and I took in a small breath of relief that James still thought she was unconscious. Distracting James was now my aim.

"You don't have to do this, you know,"

"Yes I do. You need to pay. I should just kill you now," James spoke spitefully and Bella tensed beneath my hands. I leant down once more to pretend I was holding her in fear.

"Whatever he says or does, you are to remain completely still," Her finger twitched against my chest.

"But that would be too easy," James continued completely enthralled with his own thoughts of destruction.

"You know I was never having an affair with Victoria, don't you?"

"Why the hell hasn't she woken up yet?" James ignored my entreaty and began motioning towards Bella. "She needs to wake up so we can get this over with before they come for you. I'm not stupid; I know they will be here soon."

Despite my frantic thoughts about his ever increasing tension and obsession with Bella, I managed to keep my face expressionless and my body motionless in order to keep the panic at bay.

"You have fucking hurt her beyond what her body can deal with," I threw the accusation at him with as much venom as I could. "Her brain is trying to cope the best way it can; by staying out of it."

"Yeh well maybe I won't wait until she is awake to hurt her a little more,"

Luckily Bella was weighing me down or I would have lunged at the creep and sealed both our fates in that one unconsidered moment. James narrowed his eyes at my inability to leave Bella's side. He seemed to be thinking.

"Do you know what? Plans have changed. Stand up."

I didn't move.

He stood up from the bed and aimed the gun at Bella as he growled "I said, stand the fuck up."

I gingerly began to rise, ensuring that Bella was still in my arms and against my chest. There was no way in this world I was going to relinquish that hold.

"You'd get further if you didn't have her in your arms, you know," James snarled at me in condescension.

"I have no plans in letting her go," My own voice was snarly too but I couldn't help it. "What do you want me to do now?"

"Pass her to me," He said deadpan and then broke into an evil chuckle.

"I would have to be dead first," My body convulsed with aggressiveness as I stood in front of this madman knowing in all likelihood he would do exactly as I was suggesting and kill me in cold blood. Where would that leave a defenseless Bella? The idea could not bear thinking.

"Oh I fully intend on that being the case," James had stepped towards the hut door and flung it open so that the darkness of the night was in full view. "But not before having myself a little sport. I am going to give you a ten minute start Edward and then I am going to hunt you down like the fucking dog you are and put an end to this, once and for all. I am an amazing hunter, if I do say so myself. You could probably save yourself if you gave up on trying to play the hero and saving Bella but something tells me that you won't do that so … a hunting we shall go."

As James stepped aside to provide me with a clear path to the door I considered my options and came up with nothing. I was going to have to walk out of this hut with Bella in my arms and let James play his sick game. Chances were that I was going to probably be killed but if it meant even a fleeting chance that I could get Bella out and to some sort of safety I was going to give it my best shot.

James kept eye contact with me the whole time I moved our bodies past him and I could see that he was planning something major but again couldn't move past the idea that I just had to get Bella out of there. The darkness of the night was cold and uninviting, as we left the hut, but it provided a brief sense of relief that we could possibly escape the murderous plans of a psycho James. Even so, I fell out the door in a slight panic that our lives were going to end there and then.

"Go left," Bella groaned against my chest and the sound of her voice startled me and reminded me that she had been coming to for the past few minutes. "Trust me. I know a place where…."

The sound of a shot rang out and Bella screamed as a burning pain went through the top of my leg causing me to lurch forward in shock. Somehow I managed to keep myself from falling or letting go of the tight grip I had on Bella.

"A handicap just to keep things even hey Edward," James called from the doorway of the hut as I kept myself moving further into the night, away from his taunting words.

"Oh my god, Edward. He shot you. Put me down. Where did he get you?" Bella was in hysterics and blindly groping at my back to feel where I had been shot, as I tried to ignore the intense pain flooding through my body with each step that I took. It was paramount that we got as far away as possible before he came after us. Bella was worming her way out of my hold, forcing me to stop when we really didn't have the time to do so.

"Top. of. leg." I labored and tried to push her forward, in panic, so that James didn't get a second shot at us while we stood still.

She was trying to tear at her top to get a piece of material long enough to go around my thigh and stop the blood.

"Bella we don't have time for this. Keep moving," I knew I was being short but stopping was suicide and we were already at too much of a risk.

Bella placed her good arm around my waist so that we could give each other the support to half run, half walk away from our predator. Our injuries were slowing us down and James had to have known that when he made the decision to let us go. He thought we were sitting ducks and my thoughts were now mirroring his.

"There is a cave that is hidden near the river. If we get to the river I might be able to find it. James is expecting us to be stumbling around in the dark; we might have a chance if we are out of sight." Bella was winded but she was still thinking straight which was admirable in my eyes. She wasn't one for giving up or giving in.

We relied on the sound of the river to guide us as we scurried through the woods to try and save ourselves because I wasn't willing to enlighten James about our location, by shining the torch in front of us. It was the most harrowing journey I had ever made. The likelihood of us finding the cave, that Bella remembered from her youth, was very slim considering we could hardly see anything in front of us at all. When we were finally upon the river, I could hear James calling out to us from the distance and time was no longer on our side, if it ever had been.

Bella stopped and stood still to try and make out the shadows that were on either side of us. Both of us were breathing heavily and trying to ignore our individual pains. Nothing meant anything to me but it obviously did to Bella because she began moving again until we were standing beneath a huge tree. She began feeling the trunk of the tree and finally found something that made her excited.

"Here," she hissed softly to me "The cave is below here. It looks like it is part of the bank but there should be an opening that can't be seen from the land above." Bella pulled me towards the edge of a small cliff and although I couldn't see it, I could hear the river swirling below us. Before I could be worried that we were about to fall into oblivion Bella had moved the two of us down so that we could feel our way along the rocks and finally make our way into a small cave.

"Oh my god. We made it," I couldn't see her face in the darkness but I could sense the relief in both her voice and her body as she grabbed me with one arm and held me tightly to her. "Is there anything in this bag on your back that will help us with your leg?"

I switched on the torch and placed the bag in between us on the rocky ground so that she could see what we did have. Esme had packed some light snacks for Bella when we found her, along with bandages, antiseptic cream, water, painkillers, a warm jacket and a light blanket. I helped Bella put her arm through one side of the jacket and then tucked it around her broken arm so that she would at least be a little warmer than she currently was.

"Let me look at your leg" Bella was grabbing the bandages and was making a pad to press down on the wound as I flinched in pain. In the light of the torch I could see that it was bleeding quite profusely but in all honesty I was more worried about the injuries Bella had sustained and wanted her to look after herself first.

"The leg will be fine Bella. We need to do something for that arm of yours and I want to check your head. Is there anywhere else you are hurting?" My voice stuttered on those last words, hoping against hope that there was no hidden hurts that Bella had endured before I got there and I was looking down at the ground when I spoke them. Bella lifted my chin and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Edward. What you can see is the only hurt he did to me. I promise. Get rid of that worry right now. You got to me in time."

My body sagged with relief at her words, even though I was still seething at the bruises and cuts she had been exposed to, at his hands. I gently attended to her injuries, and then my own, quietly relating to her all that had happened in the lead up to me getting to her and she told me how she had woken up in the hut and had known instantly where they were because of the engraving of a wolf above the doorway. Jacob and her had made up fantastical stories about why that particular emblem would be found in a rangers hut and it had been etched in her mind, allowing her to recognise her location. She told me that there had been another man with James initially but he had left with the video and the instruction from James to deliver it without incident or his family would be the ones to pay. She shuddered whenever she said his name.

"I'm scared Edward." The concern on her face reflected the words she was saying. "If he finds us he is going to kill you and I can't lose you. I just can't."

"He won't find us Bella. The others are on their way and everything is going to work out. Do you honestly think I would leave you? I have so many plans for us, my Bella. Things that we haven't even touched on yet. I love you and I would never let go of you readily; never!"

"Tell me what you have planned. I want to hear it all," Bella was asking for a distraction and I was more than willing to give it to her. Bella's eyelids were becoming heavy and I was aware that everything that had happened to her over the past sixteen or so hours had taken its toll. I stroked the parts of her face that weren't hurt and I softly told her about my thoughts of leaving the band and becoming a doctor so that we could live a more normal life, where fame and attention were a thing of the past. She seemed happy about the choices I had made and even laughed quietly about the images I was trying to bring up for her of our kids playing in the backyard of the house we had just brought and how it was going to be our haven – a place full of love and happiness and no one would be able to touch us again. I promised to make her happy and to love her for eternity and she smiled at the words as if they meant everything to her. After a while though, she was slipping into a kind of trance; not unconscious but not fully aware of what was going on around her either and I started worrying that now that the adrenaline of trying to escape James was no longer pushing her, that she was going to succumb to giving up her fight.

"Bella, honey. You need to stay awake for me just a little bit longer," As I said the words and her eyes fluttered open for me I heard the unmistakable sound of a helicopter flying above us and my heart leapt into my throat with excitement. Jacob had found a way to get to us and James hadn't found us yet. Things were looking up.

"They're here to save us Bella. Jacob has come to help us."

She nodded her head unenthusiastically at me and I realized that she had no energy left to do anything else but that. I grabbed the water bottle for her and helped her to sip some water. She snuggled closer to my side and I continued to whisper words of encouragement and love to her so that she knew she was not alone. I was there for her and always would be.

An hour passed as I waited impatiently for there to be some kind of clue as to what was happening above us. Soft trails of light were coming through the opening of the cave now and with it came my determination to do something more to help Bella as she slowly drifted away from me.

"Bella. I need to go up and see what is happening. The others will have no idea where we are and once they found that the cabin was empty they would have started searching the woods for us."

She found the strength to clutch at me and it broke my heart to see the fear flash in her eyes.

"No. Edward, don't leave me. He might find you while you are looking for them. Stay with me."

"I have to go up Bella. They could be hurt or they might have even caught James and there is no need for us to be hiding still. Whatever the situation I need to get you to a hospital and I can't do that unless I know what is going on."

She argued weakly with me but finally conceded that we couldn't wait down here indefinitely until someone worked out where we were. I checked her over to ensure that she was comfortable and had everything she needed until I came back for her.

"Please be careful Edward. If anything happens to you I will never forgive myself."

"None of this is your fault Bella. I would give my life gladly as long as I knew you were safe and able to live a long and fulfilling life," she began to cry and I quickly changed my tact "….but it won't come to that Bella because I will always return to you, sweetheart. No matter what happens, you and I will get our forever; I promise."

"I love you. Come back to me quickly so that we can go home and live out all those dreams"

"Oh god, I love you too Bella – always will." Although I knew she was hurting I had to kiss her one time before I left and she seemed keen to forget about the pain and just feel. My mouth lingered on hers in a gentle but very needy kiss which I hoped spoke clearly of my love for her and the promise of better things to come once we were out of this awful situation. I felt her warm breath on my skin and it was like a balm on my soul. If there ever was a reason to face death head on and survive, it was Bella and I had every intention of getting through this for her.

When I left the cave it was surreal to see the beauty of a dawning of another day as the sun began lifting into the sky. I awkwardly moved myself back up to the tree that had been Bella's indication that we were in the right place earlier this morning and noted with a little stab why she had been so sure. Carved into the tree was a loveheart and the inscription JB loves BS; a clear reminder that many years ago Bella and Jacob had a special relationship that they had innocently retained until it had run its course. It was somehow comforting to know that no matter what happened to me, Jacob would always be there for Bella if she needed him.

Grimacing with pain I started walking back towards the cabin, trying to keep myself hidden amongst the trees and bushes that littered the area. My instincts told me that I was very much in danger but I knew that I had to keep going for Bella's sake, as well as whoever had risked themselves to come out to save us.

When I heard voices in the distance calling our names I was giddy with relief. There were more voices than just Jacob's and that gave me hope that James was either caught or had fled the scene so that he wouldn't get caught. Bella was going to be fine and this whole nightmare would be over. I began to head into the direction I heard them call from, when something slammed against the back of my head and I found myself lying face down in the dirt. My dazed reaction was to reach backwards to touch the throbbing area of my head and when I struggled to pick myself up by bringing my hand forward again I saw that it was covered in blood. Fuck.

"Never turn your back on your enemy Edward." James snarled as I attempted to push myself off the ground to face him. Between my leg and my head I was having a hard time even getting to my feet and toppled over twice before I managed some type of control. I could feel the haziness of my head overtaking me and my vision was becoming blurred but I could still see James standing before me holding a thick tree branch. So that was where the pain had come from. He threw the stick away and took his gun out of his jeans so that it was now completely trained at my chest.

"Where is she?" James demanded. As if I would tell him that.

"Safe," Was that my voice? It seemed like it was coming from so far away.

"She will never be safe Edward. You couldn't save her while you were alive and you certainly won't be able to once you're dead. Did I mention that part of my hunting skills include tracking? It will only be a matter of time before your tracks take me right to her and I already know that she is alone."

Something snapped in my brain at his suggestion that Bella would never be safe and I knew the only way she ever would be was if James no longer existed. In that one moment I drew on any strength I had left and launched myself at James with the express notion of getting the gun off him and finishing him off once and for all. Even in my weakened state my fury was all consuming and I registered that this was last chance to end this whole nightmare once and for all. James was not expecting my frenzied attack which gave me a couple of seconds to grapple with the gun before he was struggling with me for the upper hand.

_I was too weak._

_I was too hurt._

_I was going to let Bella down._

_And I loved her._

The gun went off as we both fought for control and through the burning sensation and immense pain in my stomach I was sure I heard a second shot ringing out through the forest. Curiosity edged my consciousness as I fell to the ground gripping my stomach, knowing I had lost the battle but unsure if I had made any kind of impact at all on getting James out of the picture. I forced myself to turn my head to see that James was also lying immobile on the ground next to me, his eyes open in a grotesque mask of surprise but no longer showing any other kind of signs of life. Blood trickled from a clear gunshot wound just above his left eye. James was dead and I felt nothing but the sudden urge to close my eyes and never wake up again. Every inch of my body was in pain and I was struggling to not allow myself to submit to the fuzziness that invited me into oblivion. I was sure there was one more thing I needed to do but the idea was not a concrete one. I was fading into blackness and quickly.

"Edward. It's me Emmett. We have you mate. James is dead and we have you." Whoever would have thought that Emmett holding me could be so warm and comforting. My eyes flickered open to see his concerned ones gazing back at me. "It's going to be ok."

"How is he?" Charlie's voice, I was almost certain that it was his voice but it was coming to me through a constricting tunnel of sound. "James has really done a number on him," Gentle fingers were probing at different parts of my body but I could do nothing in response. Opening my eyes again I saw Charlie leaning over me.

"I am so sorry son. I couldn't get a clear shot on him until after he had taken you down."

Charlie was apologizing to me. Did he not realize that this was all my fault and his daughter could have died because of me? I deserved nothing but recriminations from him. I tried to tell him so but although my lips were moving, nothing was coming out. Shit. Bella was my concern. I needed to tell them where she was so they could get her to the hospital.

"He is trying to tell us something," Emmett determined and I began shaking with the effort.

"Where's Bella Edward?" Charlie asked with fear in his voice.

"Jake," I managed to croak and Charlie appeared to be considering yelling out to someone who was not in my view.

"Was James working alone?"

I nodded and then heard Charlie screaming out Jacob's name. There were circles of black in front of my eyes now as I compelled myself not to give into the darkness yet. Jacob was the only one who would know where Bella was and he would make sure she was safe.

"I heard the shots…. shit, what happened? Is he going to make it?" Jacob was now at my side too and looking at me with way too much compassion. I went to grab at his arm urgently but my body was fighting me now and it was hardly even a touch. He leant forward so that he could hear me.

"Bella. Cave. Tree. JB loves BS." The exertion of getting out that message seemed to be my undoing. The last thing I saw as my eyes closed was a look of understanding cross Jacob's face.

Bella would be safe and that was all that counted.

I could finally allow myself to let go and let the darkness claim me.

**I know you are all kind of hating on me right now but we all know that Edward would do anything for Bella….absolutely anything.**

**Please let me know what you think.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**


	49. Chapter 49: Coming Back

**This is not how I envisioned the next few chapters to go but I have kept you all waiting long enough so I am going to submit the version I wrote for The Twilight Saga site and then I will add my original ending at a later time when I feel I can do credit with it. Thanks for your patience in waiting so long. Hope you enjoy and I would love to hear what you thought.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**

Chapter 49

BPOV – Coming Back

Every gamut of negative feeling there was, I was feeling. Pain, exhaustion, fear, anger; it was all flooding my body and I didn't know how to deal with any of it right now. I vaguely determined that fear was uppermost in my mind but it wasn't for me; it was for Edward because I knew that if James got to him he was as good as dead. I doubted he had any strength left in him to fight after being shot at, and ensuring my safety by basically carrying me to this spot. My heart rate accelerated at the thought of Edward at James mercy; I was more than aware of what that creep was capable of after enduring him for the many hours it took for Edward to get to me. Now I was regretting letting Edward know where I was being kept; I could have prevented him being hurt at all and instead I had acted selfishly, giving him clues as to my whereabouts.

The tears rolling down my cheeks only made me more uncomfortable as they stung the broken skin of many parts of my face. James had an extremely violent streak and had backhanded me more than once when I had refused to accede to any of his demands. My hands rose to the small nicks I knew to be all along my neck and throat; James way of threatening without actually following through on his promises of cutting my throat if I didn't succumb to his sick sense of retribution. A fierce sense of pride exploded through my body at the thought that I had not allowed him to use me without putting up a fight and then it faded away just as quickly. I was still in no position to be celebrating and Edward was still out there in a precarious situation.

I tried to get up so that I could somehow go out and help Edward but the movement only made me cringe with pain as the pulsing thudding of my head exploded, leaving me incapable of coherent thought for a chunk of time. When it finally ebbed to a sort of dull roaring within my head I recognised that I would be absolutely no help to anyone and would probably only put people in more danger by being near them. It was a realization that did nothing to help my fear. I sank into a kind of despair knowing that I was no good to anyone.

Two gunshots echoed through the relative quietness of a new morning and I crumpled in on myself. God please let that not be Edward. Huge sobs racked my body as the import of what I had just heard made itself known within my head. James had the gun, not Edward. James would not spare a second thought about killing another human; Edward would. I knew within my heart that Edward had been shot and now I had to do something drastic in order to find out how badly he was injured and what I could do to help. James or no James I was not going to leave Edward out there alone to endure his injuries. He had come to save me. Now it was my turn to return the favour. I was not going to even contemplate the possibility that he was already dead. He had promised me he would come back. I was going to make him fulfil that promise, even if it was the last thing I did.

Crawling towards the opening, trying to ignore the aching and intense pain of my body, I heard a noise that made me freeze in motion. Above me I could hear the distinct sound of footsteps scuttling towards my hiding spot and I forced my body up against the wall as tightly as I could so that I would not be seen from the entrance. James was coming for me and I would have to fight my way past him before I could get to Edward. My eyes landed on a large pointed rock to my right so I picked it up with my one good arm and raised it above my head in readiness. Sharp stabs of pain shot up my arm but it only caused a mild response in my brain. Every part of me was rigidly waiting for battle; one that I had no doubt I would lose but if I could just get one strike in; just one measly swipe at the asshole who had placed me in this predicament and had hurt the man I loved, then I was going to take it.

"Bella?"

Not James.

Not Edward.

I didn't move from my position of striking.

He came through the entrance with his hands exposed and held out to me, in silent appeal. "Bella. It is me….. Jake."

I looked at him in confusion. Jacob? Edward said he was coming, didn't he? Jacob was good, right? This was not James standing in front of me anymore, trying to hurt me; trying to hurt Edward. This was Jake; one of my closest friends in the world.

"Bella. You can put the rock down, honey. It is ok. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe now." Jacob was taking small steps towards me as if I was a frightened doe. Maybe that was what I looked like to him. I couldn't be sure. I heard more sounds behind him and the arm that I was about to relax back to my side came straight back up again.

"Bella. It is just your dad. James is dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

The clattering of the rock landing beside me as I exhaled and let out a sob seemed magnified and hurt my head.

"Jake? Dad? Is he really gone? He can't hurt us anymore?" I whispered through the tears that were now parading down my face unabashedly.

Jacob was the one who answered me in the affirmative but it was Charlie I watched carefully as pure pain crossed his face and he spoke through tight lips. "Oh my god, Bella. What did that monster do to you?"

I ignored his question and took in a deep breath. "Edward. Is Edward ok?"

Charlie looked away from me and I knew by his reaction that Edward was not ok. I didn't want to believe it so I searched Jacob's face instead. He reached for my good hand and gently stroked it as his sympathetic eyes looked into mine.

"Edward has been hurt badly, Bella. Carlisle is with him and no doubt the helicopter will be taking him to hospital as soon as Carlisle thinks he is stable enough to move. Everyone is doing everything in their power to make sure he makes it. I promise you that."

As if on cue the whirr of helicopter blades could be heard above us and Jacob gave me a half hearted smile. "See. He must be ok to travel now and they're on their way to get him the help he needs."

My terror filled eyes met Jacob's and he flinched. "He has to be alright, Jacob. I can't live without him. He saved me. He protected me when James…. when that animal wanted to….. oh god. Edward has to live Jacob. Tell me he is going to be ok."

Jacob's warm embrace did little to console me but I was willing to let him hold me anyway. Charlie lightly gripped my shoulder and then moved to shout out of the entrance of the cave.

"Sam. Seth. We have her."

Within minutes the small cave was filled with too many large bodies as Seth and Sam entered to determine for themselves that I was, in actual fact, in one piece. Behind them came a very worried Jasper who instantly came over to take my hand into his. The resulting calm that came with his touch was what I desperately needed. I looked into his glistening orbs and he answered without me having to even ask.

"Edward will make it Bella. He has been shot and he received a blow to the back of his head." I felt Jacob tense up as Jasper revealed the extent of Edward's injuries as if he disagreed with me knowing what was going on. I appreciated Jasper's honesty, even though it hurt to know how badly Edward was doing. "Carlisle and Emmett are with him and you know that Carlisle will do everything possible to help him through the surgery. Our job is to get you to the hospital and attended to. If Edward wakes up to find that we haven't looked after you well enough there will be hell to pay for all of us." Jasper smirked at me and my mouth responded with its own slight lift. He began to talk to the others as he threw some medical supplies at my father who continued to look pained.

"I don't need any of that. Edward already did it before he…. before he….." I choked on the words and felt the hysteria begin to climb its way back to the forefront.

"Breath Bella, it will be ok." Jasper's soothing voice cut through my stuttering. "Let's get you out of here and as soon as the helicopter returns we will get you to the hospital, to be with Edward where you belong."

I nodded my acquiescence and Jacob lifted me effortlessly to carry me out of the cave and up towards the campground where we waited impatiently for the helicopter. Seth, Sam and a couple of the other Quilette boys began walking back through the woods to return to La Push. I had no doubt that I would see them at the hospital later but for now all I could think about was Edward and how James had hurt him yet again.

"What happened to James?" I questioned robotically. I could feel myself succumbing to darkness again and I forced myself to concentrate on whatever the answer was going to be so that I could keep it at bay.

Jacob and Jasper looked at my father and my father grimaced slightly before bracing himself to answer.

"I shot him Bella." Charlie's voice was quiet and I knew the pain those words held for him because no matter how evil someone was, life was precious and you didn't take someone's away without there being some guilt involved. "He shot Edward and I couldn't risk him shooting him again, once he was down, so I shot James before he got the chance."

I carefully drew closer to my father and leaned my head into his chest while I placed my arm around his back. Charlie held me quietly as we took in each other's pain and strength.

"Thank you, dad. He would never have stopped." I would never have thought I could be so remorseless about the loss of someone's life but what James had been doing to Edward all these years and what he had intended on doing to both of us in the future made it really difficult to feel anything much at all for him. My father said nothing in return but I felt the exhalation of his breath as his chest rose and fell in sadness and it made me hold him tighter still.

"I love you Bells. Everything will be fine. You'll see," Charlie whispered into my dissipating consciousness as he continued to hold me.

_As long as Edward was fine, my dad's words would be true._

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Fingers were moving tentatively across my scalp and low voices could be heard as I came back into consciousness and grimaced at the pain. Opening my eyes revealed a middle aged man leaning over me with a kind look on his face. His attire told me that he was a doctor and I tried to become more alert so that I could understand what he was saying to me.

"Bella. You are safe in Forks Hospital. I am Dr Lem and my good friend Dr Cullen requested that we take especially good care of you."

"How's Edward?" My first coherent thoughts were of him and I felt the panic envelope me as I waited for some kind of answer.

"Edward is in surgery Bella. We do not know how he is yet but he is in good hands. As soon as we know something I am sure his father will be in to let you know. Now I want to concentrate on you. How are you feeling?" He smiled at me encouragingly and it made me relax minutely, even though he didn't have the news I wanted to hear.

"Like I have been run over by a truck,"

The doctor chuckled quietly. "It must feel exactly like that. Your body has been through quite a lot. We've set your arm and although it had been broken for an extended amount of time it appears that it should heal effectively."

I nodded my understanding, relieved that I had not been awake for that little procedure, but the action only made my head erupt into spasms of pain again. Dr Lem looked at me in sympathy and then requested some more pain management to be administered by the nurse standing dutifully by his side.

"The knock to your head was quite a nasty one I am afraid, Bella and I have had to stitch it up. We would like to keep you in for observation to make sure that your concussion does not get any worse; you've been out of it for quite a while now and it is better to be safe than sorry. Nurse Wendy here is going to do a bit of cleaning up of your cuts and bruises, just to ensure everything heals properly."

Nurse Wendy beamed at me as she fiddled with the drip hanging by the side of my bed. "Welcome back Bella. You've had a rough time of it but you'll be better in no time at all."

"Now, Bella. Your father and a number of your friends have been in and out but I have asked them to wait outside while I examined you." Dr Lem's face became very serious but exuded kindness regardless. "There is something I need to ask that may make you uncomfortable but only honesty will allow me to treat you in the appropriate way. Is that ok?"

I was a little confused for a few seconds until his next words made it apparent what his concerns were.

"There is a special examination that we can do, with your permission, that will tell us if there has been any kind of …."

I interrupted him before he could finish the sentence. "I don't need that Dr Lem. I was not assaulted in that way." The quiver in my voice made me sound unsure and Dr Lem picked up on it.

"Are you sure? There is nothing to be ashamed of if he did. We just have to have the evidence."

"I am one hundred percent sure. He had me tied up to a chair the whole time until Edward got there and then Edward had me the whole time once I was untied. Nothing happened in that respect."

"Well I am happy to know that Bella." Dr Lem sounded relieved. "I am going to leave you in the capable hands of Wendy now and I will come by later to check on you. Get some rest." He patted my hand before he headed out the door. I watched his departure in a detached way until I saw my father stand to talk to him. Charlie slumped against the wall in relief once the Doctor had finished speaking and my heart went out to him. There would have been so many concerns he had and the doctor had obviously just alleviated some of them. Charlie looked through the doorway and caught me staring at him. A slow sad smile creased his face and he pushed himself straighter and headed into the room to give me a heartfelt hug. Nurse Wendy moved back a little to give him the space and then began to work on my face again once he moved back from the embrace.

"It seems that you are going to be fine Bells," Charlie's emotions were getting the better of him and I could see the wetness of his eyes as he looked back to address Jacob who had followed him into the room. "She's ok now, Jake. She's ok."

"Never doubted it for a minute, Charlie. Our Bella is made of strong stuff," He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it lightly making me tear up myself. I would have thought I had cried all my tears out by now but apparently that wasn't the case. As much as I loved my friend I would have given anything for those lips to have been Edwards; to know that he was by my side as he promised he would be.

"But Edward isn't ok, is he?" I croaked through the impending panic that my thoughts were bringing on.

Charlie was gentle in his response as Nurse Wendy grasped my shoulder in a supportive squeeze. "We are all waiting and praying for him Bella. He loves you. He won't give up easily."

I couldn't respond. I knew Edward loved me but what if that wasn't enough? What if James had achieved his goal in hurting Edward beyond anything that we could fix? How were any of us going to get through this nightmare if that was the case?

A light tapping on the door drew me out of my morbid thoughts and I looked up to find an agitated Alice standing there, flanked by Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie waiting to see if I was ready for visitors. It broke my heart to see her red rimmed eyes and her disheveled appearance. She never allowed herself to get in that state and it told me more than words how dismal the whole situation was.

Charlie and Jacob stood up to leave and allow room for others. I barely registered their exit; so focused I was on Alice's unmoving body and her disgusted expression at what had been done to me.

"Alice?" My voice wasn't much more than a whisper but it broke the tension in the air and made Alice dart towards me to give me a hug.

"Be careful love. She has to be hurting." Jasper's calm voice warned and Alice automatically pulled up to heed his advice. I was having nothing of it and pulled her down to me with my unbroken arm.

"God Bella. I thought we had lost you. It has been the longest 24 hours of our lives. You made it. Thank goodness you made it." As she clutched at the hospital gown I was wearing I realized that she was truly frightened and it wasn't just for me but for her brother too. We were both desperately scared for him.

"I am fine and he will be alright too, Al. He wouldn't leave any of us. You know that right?" Somehow my voice sounded confident in what I was saying and Alice gave me a tenuous smile.

"You can count on it girls," Emmett boomed from his spot at the side of the bed where a tearful Rosalie was clinging to his side. I had been concentrating on Alice and hadn't realized they were beside me as well so his voice made me jump a little. "Edward is a stubborn man. He won't be going anywhere when he has made all of these momentous decisions that haven't played out yet. He has too much to do."

Emmett's huge hand came down to cover my small one, which was sitting on Alice's shoulder, and his conviction seeped into me as if there could be no other outcome. Rosalie followed suit and placed her hand over Emmett's. Jasper and Alice added their hands to the mix so that all of us were connected in hope and prayer for the person we loved.

"Edward is a fighter and this," Emmett nodded towards our combined hands "us…..his family…..he wouldn't give this up for anything. You wait and see. Edward Cullen is a survivor."

####################################

I was in the wrong place. I should be with Edward or at least waiting with the rest of his family for Edward to come out from surgery. The doctors and nurses wouldn't hear of me moving so I spent the next couple of hours tied down to my bed while the Cullens and my own family and friends took it in turns to move between the waiting room in emergency and visiting me, in order to keep me calm during the long wait for any news. It was driving me crazy and I had been experiencing panic attacks at regular intervals which only Jasper or Esme were able to get me to come down from. Edward was slipping away from me and I was useless to stop it from happening.

When a tired looking Carlisle walked into my room I was immediately anxious. He rubbed his face as he sat in the place that Seth had just risen from to give him the opportunity to be closer to me.

"Edward is out of surgery," Carlisle started and took a deep breath as if he was trying hard to keep himself detached enough to explain what had happened. I didn't bother asking any questions. I knew that Carlisle was here to let me know everything I needed. I also knew how hard this was for him.

"He is in recovery, Bella. It was a long operation because of the complexities of dealing with the head trauma as well as the gunshot wound. Luckily the bullet missed all of Edward's solid organs and his aorta but it did do some significant damage to his stomach which has resulted in an infection from spilt acids. The doctors had to work for a long time in cleansing and controlling that infection. They will need to monitor him for the next few days to ensure that he doesn't become septic."

Another deep breath was taken by Carlisle and it made me realize that I needed to let go of my own pent up breath before I passed out from the lack of oxygen.

"There was some swelling on his brain caused by the blow to the head and the doctors drained what they could out. We can only wait now to see what kind of impact the blow will have long term, when he wakes up," Carlisle stressed the word when and I knew he was trying to ease my fear that Edward might still die.

"He's going to make it, right?" Stress and fear made my voice come out in a feeble manner I was not proud of.

Carlisle reached up to push a piece of hair away from my forehead and it was such an Edward thing to do that I almost cried out in rejection of it. I winced and Carlisle took my hand.

"There are so many ifs involved sweetheart that I can't say with one hundred percent certainty, but I do know my son and I know that if mind over matter has any say in it; Edward will be fighting his way back. We just have to wait for him now."

"I want to be with him," I pleaded, waiting for Carlisle to give me a negative answer but it never came.

"I'll arrange a wheelchair for you but you need to promise me that after a short visit you will get some much needed sleep. The others have told me that you have refused to sleep while you waited for news and while that is completely understandable it won't help you with the healing process."

I wasn't about to argue with him so my agreeance led to Seth pushing me to Edward's room so that I could see with my own eyes that my fiancé had made it this far. My first glimpse of him, from the doorway, left me choking back a cry of anxiety. There were so many tubes and lines connected to his lifeless body that he appeared to be out of some science fiction movie. Seth leant forwards to speak softly into my ear.

"It's frightening to see I know Bella but just remember that those tubes are working to get him better."

I braced myself and nodded. "I'm ok Seth. Can you take me closer please?"

Esme sat in a chair by Edward's side and was watching him intently for signs of waking up. My entrance had moved her attention from him to me, before she spoke to an unconscious Edward.

"Bella's here Edward. She is doing really well and is waiting for you to wake up, just like the rest of us," Esme took my free hand, as Seth maneuvered the chair in next to the bed, and placed it onto Edward's. She stood up and kissed my forehead. "Talk to him Bella. He needs to know you are ok. I am sure of it."

Esme moved into the arms of her husband and he gave Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie a meaningful look so that they moved away from their spots around the room to give me some privacy. Seth, Carlisle and Esme were the last to leave and then I was alone, taking in every little detail about the man before me. The sheets covered the lower half of his body but his chest and stomach were exposed to the world and the bandages were evidence of what had happened to him. He had been shot because of me; his perfect body had been marred because of me and I put my fist into my mouth so that I didn't scream in absolute despair and have the others come in to remove me. I forced my eyes to crawl further up his body so that they fell on his face and that is where I found the calmness. Edward's face was perfect. There wasn't any indication of any kind of trauma on his beautiful face. If I ignored the bandage that covered his skull and completely focused on the features of his face I could almost believe that Edward was just sleeping a peaceful sleep that he would wake up from feeling rejuvenated. I traced the full lips, angular nose and long eyelashes with a feathery touch wishing that he would open his eyes and gave me a glimpse of those amazingly green orbs that always told me exactly what he was thinking.

"Edward. I'm here love and I am waiting for you. I want to be patient and tell you to take your time but I can't. I need to know that you are alright. I need some kind of sign that this nightmare will all be over and you are the only one who can do that for me. Please just give me a sign," I watched him carefully in the hope that by some miracle the sound of my voice would make him give me the sign I so needed but nothing happened. He remained as still and unanimated as he had before my selfish plea.

"That's ok baby. I understand. You need time to heal. I'm not going anywhere. You promised you'd be by my side and I know you will follow through on that. You have to. You mean everything to me and we have so much to experience together yet. Please Edward… I love you…..come back.…just…." a sob escaped my mouth and the tears were now freely falling " come back to me. Without you I am nothing."

###############################

"_Edward is a murderer. Say it Bella. Say it and I'll put the knife away." _

_Pain._

"_Oh the fun I am going to have with you tomorrow. Imagine Edward's face when he realizes that you want me and not him" _

_Fear._

_Little splices of pain as he hits me. Little stabs of heat as a knife is pressed into my neck. _

_Agony._

_Edward trying to protect me. "I would have to be dead first," _

"_Oh I fully intend on that being the case," James putting a gun to Edward's head. His finger on the trigger. His evil grin as he looks at me in victory. "Say goodbye Bella. You've lost him now,"_

_The loud sound of a gunshot and…..my own piercing scream as Edward falls to the floor. Noooooooo._

"Bella, Bella. It's Jasper, honey. You're safe. It was only a dream. Bella can you hear me?"

I blinked frantically to erase the distressing images from my head and found myself sitting upright on a hospital bed with Jasper holding me tightly; his eyes conveying his own concerns. I shook my head and searched the room around me. Everything was in darkness except the soft glow coming from the machines that were keeping Edward comfortable and more importantly alive. There was no change with Edward and my screams had not interrupted his unnatural slumber as they obviously had for Jasper. I sighed deeply, trying to get my heart rate under control again.

"I'm sorry Jazz." I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder and allowing him to rub comforting circles onto my back as he held me.

"Bella, please." he stated softly but firmly. "You have nothing to apologise for. I can't imagine how you could NOT have nightmares after everything that has happened. I wish I could take them away for you though. Make it better."

I squeezed him tightly in thanks for his need to make things better for me, even as he was hurting himself, and pulled away gently.

"When he wakes up, everything will be better." I nodded towards Edward's bed and Jasper followed my gaze and smiled ruefully. We were all waiting for the same thing. "What time is it anyway?"

"Five. Do you think you can get back to sleep?"

"Uh uh," I shook my head negatively and got up off the bed to go and sit by Edward. Being close to him gave me a little sense of relief. I looked at Jasper over my shoulder and saw him stifle a yawn. "You should try though Jasper. You are still tired." He agreed and went over to sit in the large lounge chair that he had been sleeping in before I had woken him. He curled in on himself and then closed his eyes.

"Wake me if you need me Bells," his soft voice was muffled into the side of the chair and I returned my attention to Edward without having to answer him. He was already asleep.

It had been two torturous days of waiting and absolutely nothing else. Edward had not given us any signs at all that he was going to wake up. There was no movement, no sound, no joy. It was getting to the point where it was hard to maintain our hope. Every doctor's visit resulted in the same words. No change. Carlisle tried to keep us all going with his own thoughts that Edward was using this time to strengthen himself but with each hour passing it was getting more difficult to believe. I constantly berated myself for being on the brink of believing the worst and at those times I would be more insistent that Edward was on his way back. I was not going to give in to the darkening cloud that was beginning to seep into this room. Edward needed positives and that's what we were going to give him.

I refused to leave his side and seeing this Carlisle arranged to have a bed put in the room for me so that he could be certain that I would at least get some periods of sleep. His role in the hospital had meant that we received some gratuities that others would not get. I thanked god for them because I don't know how I would have dealt with it if they had forced me away from Edward for any length of time.

The only thing I could do for Edward was be there for him and to talk …..and talk I did. I spoke to him about every little thing I could think of; our past, our future, his family, his fans, anything just so he could hear my voice. Esme was certain that he could hear us and if it wasn't me speaking to him it was someone else from the family. There was not a moment in the day or night where at least one of us was not there for Edward.

I looked back over at Jasper on the lounge and my heart went out to him. Every single one of Edward's family were hurting right now and Jasper was no exception. He was the most sensitive of the lot and he was not only dealing with his own fears for Edward but trying to keep everyone else grounded and positive too. I wished he was at home in his own bed beside Alice but it had been agreed that at least one of them would stay with Edward and I at night and it had been his turn. I went over to the bed I had been sleeping in and grabbed the blanket that had been covering me initially and laid it over the top of him to stop the slight shivering he was exhibiting. He muttered something unintelligible and then became silent again. I moved back to my place by the bed and clasped Edward's hand to my face as I rested my head down beside him.

I came out of my doze to the feeling of movement. I was sure of it. I jerked my head up to look at Edward's face in the hope that he was waking but there was still nothing. I thought for sure I had felt his fingers move against my face but now that I was fully awake it seemed apparent that it wasn't the case. The tears threatened that my brief feeling of hope was squashed but I angrily kept them at bay because I could hear voices behind me and I didn't want the others to know that I was crying again.

"Morning all," Nurse Wendy bustled in and started working away at her normal routine of checking Edward over. I smiled at her uncertainly still a bit confused by my feeling that Edward had moved. Wendy was my favourite nurse here, always efficient without making us feel like we were in her way and giving us words of encouragement when she felt we needed them. Now was no exception.

"Are you alright Bella? You look a little uneasy," Wendy asked in a sympathetic tone.

"Um. Yeh I am fine except that could have sworn that Edward moved his hand against my face a little while ago and when I looked at him there was nothing. I think I must be hallucinating now,"

My words had brought gasps from behind me and when I looked I saw that Alice had joined Jasper, sitting on his lap and Esme was just walking through the door. Great. Now I had given them some false hope because my mind was playing tricks on me. It was the last thing I wanted to do to them.

Wendy smiled at me to let me know she understood my discomfit. "That is not unusual Bella. You are all waiting so intently on him making some kind of movement that during a dozing period your brain made you believe it was so," She took Edward's hand into her own and looked over different parts of his body and as I expected there was no movement at all. "It's also possible that his body had an involuntary spasm causing a small amount of movement in his hand."

I nodded, not willing to look at the disappointed faces behind and beside me. "It just felt like he was stroking my face so I guess that means I was imagining things," I couldn't keep the despondency from my voice and Alice reacted to it by coming forward to place her arms around my shoulders.

Nurse Wendy became all business. "You know what? You need a change of scene young lady. You have been cooped up in this room for too long and I think the best thing for you would be to get outside for a bit." I went to dispute what she was saying but she was having nothing of it. "Jasper that goes for you too. Why don't you take the two of them down to get something to eat from the café Alice?"

Alice looked happy to have a plan but I wasn't sold on the idea. "But what if he needs me while I am gone? What if he wakes up?"

"Bella. I think what Wendy is saying is a good idea," Esme's own tone was firm. "I'll be here and Emmett and Rosalie are on their way. You will only be gone for a small amount of time. Please… you need to look after yourself. Edward would have it no other way."

With reluctance I agreed to her entreaty and the three of us headed down to grab a coffee and a small breakfast. It didn't feel right to be sitting in the over bright room of the café as we ate but I forced myself not to flee back to Edward's side and instead ate a small amount if unappetizing food while Alice gave me the third degree about how I was feeling and how I was healing. She seemed to accept that yes I was still sore and aching in some parts of my body but for the most part I was getting better each day. The conversation moved on to my nightmares and Jasper was explaining that he thought maybe some counseling would be beneficial. I half agreed with him but knew I would do nothing in that respect until I was certain Edward was well again. My response to Jasper was only half said when Alice dropped the cup she was holding and it bounced across the table before smashing on the floor beside us. Our eyes were instantly drawn to her pale face and she was holding her head as if she was in pain.

"What is it Alice," Jasper had his hands on either side of her face now and she looked at him with a gut wrenching expression which had me up and out of my seat before she had even answered.

"Edward. Something's wrong. We need to get back."

None of us needed any prompting and we were soon racing in a mad dash to get back to the room. What we saw when we got there had me holding back an anguished scream. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were standing outside the closed off room looking completely lost and upset. Emmett was struggling to hold both Esme and his wife against him and the look that he gave us as we approached spoke volumes. Alice had been right. Something was seriously wrong. I stepped towards the door as if to open it and Emmett's tormented voice stopped me.

"Don't Bella. They are trying to calm him down. He is not himself. If they don't get him under control he is going to really harm himself and that is the last thing he needs right now."

"He's awake?" I spoke without conviction. That's not what I was expecting.

Emmett nodded but his wide eyes did not calm at all. "He started moving his hands and then his eyes started to flutter. We were so happy to see that. When his eyes finally opened he had a glazed look in his eyes but then looked around as if searching for something and then he just started going hysterical. He looked right through us Bella; it was as if he had no idea who we even were," Esme shuddered in Emmett's arms and he drew her more closely to him.

I could hear the shouting coming from Edward's room and Carlisle's desperate pleas for Edward to stop; to not hurt himself anymore. I couldn't help myself when I heard Edward yell out my name. I had to go to him and regardless of what Emmet said I was going to do it right now. I opened the door and saw a scene of destruction. Medical instruments were scattered all around the floor and Carlisle and another male nurse were trying to hold Edward down so that Wendy could give him some kind of needle which I assumed would calm him down. Edward was bleeding profusely from his stomach wound; his bandage already completely stained with his blood. He had a manic look of terror on his face, his eyes unfocused and full of pain. He was fighting tooth and nail against the restraint of his father's hands. He looked like he was possessed and it frightened me.

I ignored Nurse Wendy telling me that I shouldn't be in here and stepped closer to Edward who hadn't registered my appearance at all. Carlisle looked at me and a little bit of hope showed in his eyes through the pain of what was happening to his son.

"Edward?" I called out timidly and then repeated it again more loudly so that he could hear me through the ruckus. "Edward."

His pain filled eyes flicked to me and it appeared that he relaxed minutely. "Bella?" My name was torn from his throat and I had no doubt that he was hurting in more ways than we could physically see.

"Yes Edward. It's me. We're safe baby. Everything is going to be ok." I moved closer to him and noticed that Carlisle had made the other nurse move away from Edward now that he was not fighting to get out of the bed. I fought against my natural inclination to be sick when I was surrounded with so much blood, so that I could reach out to touch Edward's hand. He held onto it tightly and brought it up to his face. I could feel the tension emanating from his body.

"Oh my god Bella. You weren't here. I woke up and you were gone. I thought I had lost you. I thought that James had you and he was…oh god all the things he said he was going to do to you and I thought I had failed and I had let him get you. I tried so hard to protect you and I thought….I thought…"

My fingers moved against his cheek and he closed his eyes surrendering to my touch and therefore relaxing completely against my hand.

"You did protect me Edward. We are both ok now and James is gone; not us." I slipped my hand out of his and moved my arm around his shoulder so that he could lean his head into my chest. He took a deep shuddering breath and my lips found his temple so that I could reinforce my words with an intimate touch just between the two of us. He clung to me. "We're together now. It's alright."

"Bella. Can you get him to lie back for me? We need to get these tubes back into him and I need to get a closer look at the stomach wound." Carlisle's worried voice broke through the spell of holding Edward and I took a closer look at everything around the room, including the five people who were now standing at the doorway looking in with concern. Edward had done a good job of destroying all the things that were there to help him heal. I spoke softly into his ear and he immediately allowed me to guide him backwards in the bed but refused to relinquish some kind of contact with me.

"Dad?"

"Yes son. I'm right here," Edward squinted at his dad as Carlisle tentatively grasped his free hand. Edward looked around the room and registered the chaotic mess. "I'm sorry dad. I thought she was gone."

"I know Edward. It's ok but I need to fix up any of the damage. You've come back to us and we don't want to let you go again."

Edward's gaze returned to mine and he tried to smile at me through his grimace of pain. He really had done a lot of damage to himself. "I'm so tired Bella. I love you and I want to keep looking at you but it is so hard to keep my eyes open." I glanced at Carlise in sudden anxiety and he shook his head at me while motioning to Wendy and the needle she had just pulled out of Edward's arm.

"Edward. Nurse Wendy has just given you a sedative so that you can rest." Carlisle spoke to his son and I sighed in relief that Edward wasn't slipping away from us again. I leant in to caress Edward's cheek with my lips.

"Sleep Edward. I love you too. I will be right here when you wake up next time I promise,"

Edward's eyes became heavy and sleep had almost claimed him.

"Bella?"

"Hmm" I was stroking his face lovingly, relishing the knowledge that Edward was alive and on his way back to us fully.

His words were so quiet that I had to put my ear down to his mouth in order to catch them. "I kept my promise to you. I came back. Our forever starts now."

A relieved smile altered my expression from the one of distress I had had for the past few days. In that moment I claimed unbridled hope and happiness.

"I know, Edward. I know."

**I have no experience in medical circles at all so please overlook any mistakes I made with regards to how Edward's injuries, healing etc happened**

**Thanks for reading.**


	50. Chapter 50: A Day to Remember

Chapter 50

BPOV – A Day to Remember

My image stared back at me from the mirror and I had to admit that I was glowing with happiness, even through the nervousness. It had been a hard and convoluted road for us to get to this point; this special day that we had been dreaming of for so long, but now it was here and our dreams were about to become a reality. I smiled at the thought. The hardships of the past months were over. Not a single bruise or cut remained evident on any part of me. No scars taunted me with the memory of a sick man who could no longer harm any of us. Edward had entirely healed after a prolonged period of rehabilitation and was now back to his best after having to endure subsequent operations to his stomach, which he had damaged when his panic attack had overtaken him. The two of us had been inseparable; searching for meaning behind what had happened to us and how we could move past it so that our lives could go on as we wanted it too. Counselling had helped us in that endeavour. Nothing had been easy but we had come out the other side. When we were together we were the strongest. Another smile tugged at my mouth with the knowledge of what I was about to do.

I smoothed down the material of my ivory gown, extremely impressed with Alice's ability to design a dress that was so in keeping with me and my personality. The bodice hugged me subtly and the sweeping caged skirt of flowing striped silk organza made it look differently elegant. Small traces of lace and ribbon added around the straps finished off the look of natural style we were aiming for. I completely loved the whole classic look and hoped that Edward felt the same way.

"Oh honey, you look incredibly beautiful," The little catch in my mother's voice showed me that she was trying to hold herself together. "Edward is going to think he is the luckiest man alive when you walk down that aisle."

"I hope so mum. I want to give him everything he gives me. I can't believe we have finally got here," I sighed and turned into my mother's embrace. Renee tilted my head back so she could look at me seriously.

"Bella. What you two have been through has been awful, I know, but it has made you stronger as a couple. You didn't let that monster tear you apart. You held firm to one another and now marriage is going to be a walk in the park for you both. Today is the beginning of something special for you Bella Swan. You are going to marry your soul mate and there is no room for anything but happiness in that, my beautiful girl."

I held my mother against me, trying hard to keep my emotions in check and then chuckled lightly when I heard Alice's bell like voice from behind me. "Don't even think about letting that little speech of your mothers make you cry Bella. I don't have time to redo your makeup once I am finished with Angela." When I turned, I noticed that she was brandishing a curling wand at me and smiling exuberantly. "Although I must admit that it did bring a bit of a tear to my own eye and I have to agree with her fully. You and my brother are going to have the happiest wedding ever and then you are going to live your happily ever after. I can't think of two people who deserve it more."

"Here, here," Rosalie piped up from her seat where she was waiting patiently for everyone to be finished. Her emerald green dress emphasized her immaculate figure and Rosalie was looking as gorgeous as ever. She raised her champagne glass into the air and all of us stopped and did the same with our own glasses. Happiness coursed through my body. Here I was on my wedding day with all the women in my life, who meant the most to me, helping me prepare for a day of celebration and ensuring that everything went off without a hitch. Alice, Angela and Rosalie were my closest friends and were my bridesmaids. Renee and Esme were my mother figures. I couldn't imagine any one of them missing from this special occasion.

"Thanks everyone. I am so thankful that I have all of you in my life and that you are here for me today. It would not be the same without you."

"We wouldn't be anywhere else, sweetheart," Esme gave me a loving squeeze and everyone gave their own affirmation before Alice returned her attention to my chief bridesmaids hair, adding a couple of final touches before announcing that we were all ready.

A timely knock at the door sent my stomach catapulting with sudden nerves but when Claudia's radiant face peeked in I relaxed and told her to come in.

"Wow, Aunt Bella, you look amazing," her shy smile made me want to envelope her in a huge hug but I knew that would not go down well with Alice right now considering the possibility of crushing my dress so I gave her a thankful grin instead.

"Thanks Claudia. You look pretty wonderful yourself," Rosalie had brought Claudia a beautiful peach coloured dress made from silk and I watched entranced as Claudia fingered the material of it reverently.

"I have never worn anything like this before. It feels so soft and I feel like a princess in it." Claudia looked at the woman who had just changed her life for the better and the sincerity behind the words was heartwarming. "Thanks again Rose for getting me something so special."

I could see that Rosalie was trying to keep her composure. Over the past few months Rosalie and Emmett had stepped up their campaign to have Claudia as part of our family and after many outings and a few sleepovers, two weeks previously Claudia had officially moved in with the two of them. What had happened with James had made them realize that they wanted to provide Claudia with a home sooner than later and they had worked out the statistics of having her live with them even though the band's last tour was coming up. Rosalie had taken to being a mother figure like a duck takes to water and every time she looked at Claudia I saw the softening around her eyes and the love she already had for the girl. Claudia had settled in remarkably well considering her past and had taken to branding us all as her family by labeling us with names such as aunt and uncle, nanna and pa. Rosalie and Emmett hadn't become mum and dad yet but I had a feeling that she was working her way towards that; it would only be a matter of time.

"Get used to it, pipsqueak because I won't be seeing any niece of mine wearing anything but the best when it comes to clothes," Alice stated without compunction and we all laughed, knowing that it was entirely true. Claudia blushed and then returned her attention to me.

"Uncle Jasper told me to let you know that the photographer is ready for you now and that Edward is even more ready for you to walk down the aisle."

My breath caught in my throat. It was time to make Edward my husband…..finally.

"Well we had better not keep either of them waiting then," I glanced at my three bridesmaids and smiled with joy. "Angela, Rosalie, Alice…. let's go make me a Cullen."

########################################################

Edward was flawlessly beautiful, standing there at the end of the pathway, dressed in his black suit and looking every bit the godlike creature I knew him to be. He was intently watching for my entrance into the garden whilst Jasper, Emmett and Jake as his groomsmen, stood beside him and grinned at his anxiety. For a brief moment I could see him before he could see me and I noted with humour that his trademark action of having his hand in his hair was very much evident right now. As Alice began making her way towards the front, Edward's hand left his hair and I saw him exhale deeply as he smiled at his sister and then Rosalie and Angela who followed her.

"You ready Bells?" my dad whispered and I nodded my head adamantly.

"I have never been more ready for anything dad. He is all I've ever wanted."

Charlie smirked at me. "Well let's go get him,"

The emotions that crossed Edward's face as I walked towards him would be embedded in my mind forever. There was awe, devotion and relief. His love for me was so evident that I was sure that not one single person in that garden would not have felt it come off him in waves. The fact that Charlie was holding onto my arm stopped me from sprinting into Edward's arms and kissing him senseless. My need for him had grown exponentially and I could not wait to be by his side where I always felt so at home.

We reached the front and Charlie passed my hand to Edward's outstretched one and finally we were touching. The instant electricity and relief was palpable and we both smiled at the feeling of it. Edward leant in without hesitation to speak into my ear.

"Nothing can ever compare. You are perfect."

My blush made itself known straight away and Edward grazed my pink cheeks lovingly with the back of his hand as he chuckled at my reaction. We forced ourselves to listen to Mr Webber who was now beginning our service by asking our guests to take their seats, but refused to take our eyes off one another.

"Friends, you have been invited here today to share with Bella and Edward a very special moment. Every single one of you here are important to Bella and Edward. You know them as the very extraordinary people that they are. You are aware of the difficult journey it has taken them to get to this place of joining together. You have supported them through the good times and also the bad. You are here because Bella and Edward would like you to witness their undying love for one another and their decision to live together as husband and wife."

Edward squeezed my hand and rubbed the back of my hands with the pads of his thumbs. We tore our eyes away from one another and glanced at our audience, smiling with the love we felt for them. Only the most important people in our lives were present. It was the way we both wanted it. There was no media, there were no acquaintances; just people we loved and respected who knew us as the people we really were.

"Who supports this couple in their marriage to one another?" Mr Webber questioned and Charlie, Renee, Esme and Carlisle stood to proclaim "We do." All four of them were beaming at us as they spoke.

"Bella and Edward have requested that their mothers, Renee and Esme, share a poem with us that reflects how they see their marriage to be."

My mother and Esme stood as one and came forward. Taking turns, they conveyed to our friends and family how we perceived our future life together; how we were going to keep our love strong.

_**Art of Marriage**_

_The little things are the big things.  
It is never being too old to hold hands.  
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day._

It is never going to sleep angry.  
It is at no time taking the other for granted;  
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,  
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.  
It is standing together facing the world.  
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.  
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude or duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.  
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.  
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.  
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.  
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.  
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.  
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.  
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

There was a pattering of applause as Esme and Renee returned to their seats and I mouthed thank you to both of them.

"Do you Bella, knowing this man's love for you and returning it, realizing his strengths and learning from them, recognizing his weaknesses and helping him to overcome them, take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do,"

"Do you Edward, knowing this woman's love for you and returning it, realizing her strengths and learning from them, recognizing her weaknesses and helping her to overcome them, take Bella to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Edward's green eyes scorched me with their intent. "I do…always."

"May I have the rings?"

Jasper stepped forward and handed Mr Webber our chosen wedding rings. Mr Webber spoke about the importance of those rings as a symbol of our love before allowing each of us to take one from his hand.

I took a deep breath to centre myself. I wanted my vows to show Edward how much he meant to me. How much a part of my life he was.

"Edward. It is hard for me to believe that you were made for me. You are everything a girl could want in her life. You are loving, compassionate, talented and insanely good looking," I grinned at the embarrassed look on Edward's face when the people around us giggled at my exclamation. "But even though it is hard, I know it is true because every single day you let me know with your actions, with your touches, with your consideration. You protect me from harm, you're my anchor when I am sad or frightened, you support anything I strive for and you love me the way I am.

You are the one perfect person for me Edward Cullen; the one who suits me so comfortably, the one who ignites a passion that I never thought possible, the one who gives me constant joy and boundless hope for our long and happy future together. I can't imagine loving you anymore than I do right at this moment but I have every intention of trying for the rest of our lives."

I slipped the ring onto his finger and admired the smooth metal against the skin. A thrill went through me knowing that with that action I was making sure that everyone knew that Edward was mine. Edward watched our hands as the ring fell into place and then lifted his eyes to mine. I was surprised to see tears glistening on his impossibly long eyelashes. His crooked smile lit up his face and I couldn't help but respond with my own.

"Bella. To say I love you is not enough. To try and put into words, the depth of my feelings is near impossible. It doesn't tell of the respect I have for you as a person; it doesn't convey how much I appreciate how loving and caring you are to everyone around you; nor does it tell you how much joy I get from hearing your laughter or the tears I have to hold back when you are in pain. It tells nothing of the strength you give me when I need it, nor the pleasure I get from your touch. You have given me everything just by being you. You saw through to the real me when everyone else saw something completely different, and you loved me anyway. You have never stopped being my support, even when things were really difficult. You are the most beautiful, brave and generous person I have ever known and I have no intention of ever letting you go. You are the only one for me; my friend, my inspiration and my soul mate. I want to be the best person I can be because from the moment I met you I knew you were something special and you deserve nothing less in a partner.

It seems that I have waited forever for this moment and now that it is here I want you to know that you are my once-in-a-lifetime, my miracle and I promise that I will do everything in my power to make our lives together something extraordinary."

Edward took my hand in his and tenderly placed the ring on my finger before raising it up to his lips to kiss softly. "I love you Bella Cullen. I always will."

Our eyes locked in silent communication of the love and need that we had for one another. Edward had not let go of my hand and was running his thumb over the top of the ridge that was now made from the added ring on my finger. We belonged to one another now and it was exactly as it should be.

Mr Webber announced that we could now kiss as husband and wife and Edward made sure that we gave our audience a spectacle to remember as wolf whistles and the such were echoing around my very distracted head. Kissing Edward hadn't lost its spark and it was hard to even recall that there were others around us when he was doing such an incredible job of kissing me senseless. When he finally let me go my heart was galloping at a hundred miles per hour and I was entirely sure my face was as red as a beetroot.

"Our first kiss as husband and wife had to be something special," Edward teased me cheerfully.

Soon we were signing all the legal documents alongside Jasper and Angela, as our chief attendants. As they were taking their turn in legalizing our union I sat back and watched the happy faces of our friends and family as I listened to the words of the song we had organised Rosalie and Emmett to sing. The words were so true of our relationship and I was glad we had chosen it. Rosalie's voice soared with the emotion of the lyrics and Emmett surprised me with his strong vocal ability, that Edward had assured me was actually there.

_**Spend My Life With You - Eric Benet**___

_Never knew such a day could come__  
__And I never knew such a love__  
__Could be inside of one___

_And I never knew what my life was for__  
__But now that you're here I know for sure___

_I never knew till I looked in your eyes__  
__I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life__  
__And I never knew that my heart could feel__  
__So precious and pure__  
__One love so real___

_Can I just see you every morning when__  
__I open my eyes__  
__Can I just feel your heart beating beside me__  
__Every night__  
__Can we just feel this way together__  
__Till the end of all time__  
__Can I just spend my life with you___

_Now baby the days and the weeks__  
__And the years will roll by__  
__But nothing will change the love inside__  
__Of you and I___

_And baby I'll never find any words__  
__That could explain__  
__Just how much my heart my life__  
__My soul you've changed___

_Can you run to these open arms__  
__When no one else understands__  
__Can we tell God and the whole world__  
__I'm your woman, and you're my man__  
__Can't you just feel how much I love you__  
__With one touch of my hand__  
__Can I just spend my life with you___

_No touch has ever felt so wonderful__  
__(You are incredible)__  
__And a deeper love I've never known__  
__(I'll never let you go)__  
__I swear this love is true__  
__(Now and forever to you to you)__  
_

_Can I just see you every morning when__  
__I open my eyes__  
__Can I just feel your heart beating beside me__  
__Every night__  
__Can we just feel this way together__  
__Till the end of all time__  
__Can I just spend my life with you__  
__Can you run to these open arms___

_When no one else understands__  
__Can we tell God and the whole world__  
__You're my woman, and you're my man__  
__Can't you just feel how much I love you__  
__With one touch of my hand__  
__Can I just spend my life with you___

_Can I just spend my life with you__  
__Can I just spend my life with you__  
__(Forever here with you)__  
__Can I just spend my life with you__  
__Can I just see you every morning when I__  
__Open my eyes.__  
_

When the song came to its end and the gathering had let Rosalie and Emmett know of their appreciation of such a great performance, Edward and I stood with Mr Webber beaming with joy that we were now united as husband and wife. Edward kissed me quickly on the forehead, knowing that we were about to be inundated with well wishers.

"In as much as you have publicly declared your love and expressed your wish to spend your future together, I declare you united as one, in love, in life and in happiness. Best wished Bella and Edward Cullen. You more than deserve it."

Edward slipped his hands onto my waist and leaned has face into mine to kiss me with feverish happiness.

"Are you ready to celebrate Mrs Cullen?" his words were breathed against my lips and all I could do was nod in acceptance. In that moment I suddenly felt like everything in the world was mine, and in reach. I felt secure and very much loved. I had my family; old and new. Our friends were here to share our happiness and we were all more than aware that we were lucky; that we had survived to fulfill our destiny to be together. Tonight was the beginning of a lifetime of celebrations.

We were more than ready for it!


	51. Epilogue

**Well, here it is the end of my story. For those of you have read and reviewed, added me to favourites or alerts, etc – thanks so much. I love the fact that people are interested enough to read this story even if it didn't get a whole heap of comments.**

**Hopefully this last chapter will tie up any loose ends of what happens for everyone. I've loved writing it and hope you enjoy reading. If you have been reading but now reviewing, would love to have your last thoughts on how it all went.**

**Cheers and again thanks!**

Epilogue

The bronze haired man burst through the doors and instantly gained the attention of those around him. Nervous giggles could be heard from the nurses behind the desk and even a few suggestions were made that they were willing to approach him to 'help'. He remained oblivious to their inappropriate whisperings and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even further. Turning right and left he seemed to work out what his next move should be and headed towards the twittering women in the hope that they could help him with what he actually needed. His white coat gave them the impression that he was something to be noticed in the hospital environment but the truth was they would have noticed him regardless. He was drop dead gorgeous and there was not one of them there who wouldn't do anything possible to make him see them as something special back.

His approach towards the desk was watched carefully and probably not without a few daydreams occurring in the process. If they thought he was good looking before, it was nothing compared to the perfection they witnessed when those emerald eyes pierced theirs as he looked around ready to address one of them. Leila was the one who spoke first and it was with the surprised gasp of someone who had just realized something important.

"Edward Cullen. Oh my god, you're Edward Cullen."

"Um, yes. That's me,"

He was used to the attention even though he was no longer in the direct limelight as he once was. It had been years since he had finished performing in front of his band, 'Cullen Alliance' but he was still recognised quite readily and now was not a time he wanted to deal with that.

"My wife has been brought in to emergency. I need to know where she is," He looked around the large room for the umpteenth time, maybe expecting to see someone he knew and quite disconcerted that no one was there ready for him.

The nurse became quite professional in that moment, searching through a number of folders on the desk, and he sighed in relief. All he could deal with right now was that his wife had been brought into the hospital and he needed to be with her. The prospect of there being something wrong with her made him reel in distress.

"Cullen….Bella. Yes she has been taken up to the maternity suites Dr Cullen. Third floor. Dr Allen is with her now."

His thanks were lost in the flutter of his coat as he sped towards the lifts and ultimately towards his wife on the third floor. He had been at work in the children's hospital across town, and getting here had been an extended affair that he could have done without. Edward felt the adrenaline course through him as he thought of the many scenarios that could be taking place as he waited to get to his wife. Very few times in his life had he felt this nervous and he didn't want to think too deeply about the bad things that had previously happened which had led to such a negative feeling. The lifts opened and he stepped in, impatiently pressing the button with a shaking hand.

On departing the lift, he noticed the people he had been expecting to see downstairs and although they didn't appear to be overtly distressed, they each had their own small mark of worry outlined in their postures. Edward took in his own soothing breath and walked towards them quickly. It had been Emmett who had rung him so he directed his question to him.

"What's happening? Where is she?"

Emmett stood straighter as he addressed the anxious man in front of him. "She's in labour, Edward. Dr Allen is with her. We got her here as quickly as possible, once Claudia rang."

Edward looked at the young girl sitting beside Rosalie and noticed that she was almost curled in on herself. She appeared to have been crying. Edward motioned to her and she was instantly in his arms. He knew he needed to get into Bella but he also recognised that Claudia needed his affirmation that she had done nothing wrong.

"Her waters broke as we were getting back from the shops, Uncle Edward. Maybe I made this happen by asking her to come shopping with me."

Edward put his hand under the chin of his sixteen year old niece and forced her to look at him. "Bella was looking forward to shopping with you Claudia. This has nothing to do with you. I know it's a little bit early but everything is going to be ok." He smiled at her through his own worry and Rosalie looked over the shoulder of her foster daughter and mouthed thanks to him before saying 'go'.

He didn't need to be asked twice. Handing Claudia over to the arms of Emmett he raced towards the door that Rosalie indicated was where Bella was. When he opened the door the first thing he saw was her eyes – those beautiful, chocolate, soul revealing eyes and at the moment they were drawn into a furrow of pain and concern.

"Edward." She breathed, gulping in a huge amount of air as if it was her only way of surviving the pain she was currently feeling. She closed her eyes tightly and Edward was instantly at her side holding her hand. Her eyes opened, searching for his to give her the support she had been waiting for. "It's too early Edward."

Edward knew that it was true; she was early to be starting the labour but he also knew that the pregnancy was more than viable at this stage. He needed to calm her down so that she could endure whatever happened next.

"It's going to be fine Bella. Dr Allen has told us all along that it is possible you will go early because of the twins. Just breath honey. We can get through this together." He reached out and stroked her cheek lovingly. "We always do."

Bella stared at Edward as if searching for the honesty in his proclamation and something she saw in his eyes must have convinced her that he spoke truthfully because she relaxed fractionally and allowed herself to rest against the arm that had now drawn her to him. For a brief time between the pain of contractions they shared a moment of calm as they readied themselves for what was to come.

Edward felt the tension come over Bella as the next wave of pain hit her. He felt useless, knowing that there was nothing he could do to alleviate her pain. It was something that she would have to endure and all he could do was be there for her.

"I love you Bella Cullen," He muttered against their combined clutching hands. "Just a little bit longer and we will have our babies with us. You are strong. You can do this."

Through the sweat and the tears, Bella managed a weak nod because no matter what, she had to believe that she was strong enough to bring these little miracles into the world and Edward's trust that she could do it meant everything to her.

###########################

Out in the waiting room Emmett, Rosalie and Claudia were joined by a nervously agitated Alice and an equally calm Jasper who was holding their 21 month old daughter in his arms.

"We got here as soon as we could," declared a bouncing Alice. "Is there any news? Did Edward get here yet? What are the doctors saying? It's normal for twins to come early, right? There really isn't anything to worry about when it comes down to it. Dr Allen is the best there is, according to dad and we all know that dad would never allow Bella to be with someone who couldn't deal with these kinds of situations and he did a wonderful job with me and Georgia so it will all be…"

Jasper placed his free arm around the shoulders of his overly excitable wife. "Steady on darlin. You haven't taken a breath and no one can answer any of the multitude of questions that just came from your mouth." Alice looked at Jasper as if he was mad and he smiled at her in encouragement.

"Ok, ok I know I am a bit over the top but there is so much to worry about and poor Bella must be beside herself and god, imagine what Edward will be like with the thought that something was…."

Jasper squeezed Alice's shoulder and she instantly stopped her next tirade so that she could hear Jasper's soft words. "Dr Allen will be doing everything needed to get Bella and the babies through an early labour. I guarantee that."

"As for your other questions; there is no news yet, Edward got here about an hour ago and is obviously with Bella, I do believe that twins can come early so I am sure it will all turn out in the end and of course Carlisle would not allow Bella to be with someone he didn't trust." Rosalie raised an eyebrow at her almost sister. "And lastly hand me my niece, who by the way I am surprised is here, so that I can get my hug."

Jasper handed Georgia over to Rosalie and the little girl instantly grabbed onto Rosalie's long blonde locks with a huge grin on her face. Undecipherable words came from her mouth as she attempted to speak to her aunty and everyone looked at her with amusement. There was nothing like the innocent sounds of a child to make the situation seem like it would all be alright in the end.

"Mum and dad are on their way and mum offered to take Georgia and Claudia back to our house so that they don't have to stay here while we wait." Alice explained. She smiled at the picture Rosalie made with Georgia in her arms and Claudia oohing and ahhing at her little cousin. Alice prayed that they would all be holding two more little healthy bundles of joy soon with the safe arrival of Bella and Edward's babies. Lord knew that those two did not need any more tragedy in their lives; not after everything they had been through with James and the subsequent court cases and media attention. Years had passed since those hard times and Bella and Edward had made a happy life for themselves; Bella getting a job as a screen writer for a large movie company and Edward going to university to start the long process of becoming a doctor. They had both worked hard to get to the point where they were comfortable that they could bring children into their lifestyles and Alice knew it would break their hearts if anything happened to either of the twins that Bella was carrying.

"Did you ring Bella's parents Emmett?" Jasper questioned.

"Right after I got off the phone from you. Charlie is on his way; he was trying to organise someone to take over his shift. I am guessing it is going to take Renee a lot longer to get here given the distance but as soon as she can, she will be here. I also rang Jacob and Seth and they both want us to keep them updated when we know something. Jacob and Irina are at home in La Push but Seth and Ellie are in Canada visiting her cousin or something."

Alice's phone rang and she looked at the caller ID before answering it.

"Angela. You got my message." Alice listened and responded a few times before hanging up.

"Angela wants us to give her updates as well. She can't leave Oliver and Tahlia and Ben is in some important meetings until later this afternoon. Once he is home for the kids she will head over here."

The four adults, teenager and baby sank into a silent period of waiting, each of them making their own quiet appeals to god to make this all work out for their family. When the waiting room became further occupied it was with their parents and it was a relief for them all that the two people who had brought them up so successfully, as a strong group of individuals, was now with them. Carlisle and Esme were their rocks in so many ways and having them beside them helped them believe that everything would be alright.

Claudia was the first one to Esme's arms and she reveled in her grandmothers loving embrace. Esme pushed Claudia's hair away from her forehead so that she could see into her eyes and noted the concern there.

"Bella and the babies are going to be just fine sweetheart. You did so well, ringing your dad straight away and making sure that Bella got to the hospital quickly. I am sure when this is all over with Bella will be telling you how proud she is of your clear thinking."

"But I shouldn't have made Bella come shopping with me," Claudia's soft voice was all concern.

"Nonsense. This didn't happen because she was shopping Claudia. Nature has its own mysterious ways and obviously her body felt it was time for her babies to make themselves known." Esme looked at her whole family and stated with absolute conviction. "Everything is going to be completely ok. I can feel it. Very soon I will be introduced to my third and fourth grandchildren and I can not wait."

"Esme's right. Bella and our grandkids are going to be just fine." Carlisle agreed with his wife as he held his arms open for Georgia to be passed to him. "How is my beautiful girl today? Ready to meet your new cousins?"

The baby cooed at him and pulled at his nose which elicited a laugh from all those around him. Everyone was still worried but there was a feeling of hope pervading through the room now and when Charlie walked in moments later he was treated to a view of a family who was no longer bogged down with anxiety.

"Am I too late? Has she had the twins yet? Is everything ok?"

Carlisle was about to answer when the delivery room doors opened and a tired but exuberant Edward came trailing out behind two nurses pushing incubation cribs.

"I'm a dad," He exclaimed in awe to the people who were waiting for just such an affirmation. "They're fine but need a little attention so we're heading down to the NICU now for tests." The nurses did not pause long enough for anyone to see much more than the smallness of the little ones in the cribs but Edward's face told them everything they needed to know. He turned back to them as he walked backwards after his babies.

"Oh my god I have a daughter and a son. She did it. Bella is an absolute legend."

And he turned back to the two new loves of his life.

If there was one thing very evident about the brown haired girl who lay contently in the hospital bed, with numerous people surrounding her, it was that she was very much loved; by her doting husband, be her large family, by her loyal friends. Her shining eyes were appraising as they landed on each and every one of the people crowding her room. She returned their love tenfold and now there were two extras to be added to the mix; her babies who were now being cooed over as they were being held by their father and their grandmother. A massive surge of pride and love and relief ran through her as she noted how they had already grown stronger in the few days since their birth. Today was the first time they had been out of the cribs and everyone was in a celebratory mood. The doctors said it was a miracle that they had thrived so quickly and had assured Bella and Edward that they had two strong babies to take home soon. It was only fitting that two such strong people would have strong children to follow in their footsteps. At this moment in time nothing could make Bella Cullen happier than that knowledge. Bella's children were survivors too.

"Look at Mia's hair. It is exactly the same as Edward's." Alice exclaimed in a hushed tone "and Cooper's is the same as Bella's. In the NCIU I didn't notice the difference in colour."

"I hope they get their father's eyes," Bella looked at the darkness of Mia and Cooper's eyes and sighed softly "I love the greenness of his eyes and always imagined our kids with the same eyes."

"Well funnily enough I am kind of partial to their mother's chocolate brown eyes and would prefer them to have those," Edward laughed as he ran his free hand down Bella's arm. She looked up at him and beamed. It didn't really matter one way or another; maybe one child would have brown and the other green. That seemed fair, even though they would have no control over such an outcome.

Esme passed Mia over to Renee gently and the little girl closed her eyes again to sleep contently in her other grandmothers arms. It had been agreed that at this early stage only the grandparents and Bella and Edward would be holding the twins so that they wouldn't be too unsettled after their prolonged time with very little human contact in the incubation cribs. That didn't stop the others from leaning over to watch the little ones make their baby noises and baby movements. Mia and Cooper had no idea yet how their lives were going to be filled with indulgent family members who would offer them all the love in the world but Bella did, and it made her smile even more widely.

"Is everything alright, love," Edward had passed Cooper over to Carlisle and was now sitting at Bella's side drawing her closer to himself.

"More than alright. It's perfect. Look at them Edward; our babies are getting stronger and soon we can take them home. Our family and friends are here with us and they love Mia and Cooper unconditionally. I can't imagine it getting any more perfect."

Emmett interrupted their quiet words as only Emmett could. "Well while we have you all here in the one place, Rosie, Claudia and I have something to tell you all. We were going to tell you this next week when we met up for family lunch but since Bella went and had herself some babies early that will no longer be on, so….." He pulled his two girls towards him; Rosie in one arm and Claudia under the other. Rosalie looked at him lovingly and Claudia's face only showed excitement.

"Rosie and I are going to give Claudia a little brother or sister in approximately six months time." The grin on Emmett's face was a marvel to see. "We're pregnant."

Squeaks could be heard around the room as everyone took in the news and Bella turned to Edward. "Ok so I was wrong. It just got so much more perfect. Come here you two. This is the best news ever. Congratulations." Emmett disentangled himself from Esme's tight hug and made his way over to Bella and Edward. Edward clapped him on the shoulder and Bella embraced him with as much love as she could muster.

"Oh my god Jazz that means I am going to have another niece or nephew to use as a muse for my baby design collection. All these babies are making my head burst with inspiration," Alice was jumping up and down as Jasper laughed at her words. Her design collection had recently branched out from women's clothes to baby wear and she was enjoying the change immensely. Everybody who was anybody was pleading for her to design clothing for their children, just as they had been when she was designing intricate dresses for adults before. Alice's business had taken off and it was only getting bigger and better every day. Jasper was her greatest support, of course. He felt he owed her after all the time she had travelled with him and kept him grounded during their famous years. Now he was a counselor working with kids in need and loving the new direction his life had taken.

"Looks like it honey. Congratulations Emmett and Rose. We've already seen that you make great parents so I know it will be the same for the little one. I guess this means the solo career will be on the backburner for a short period then hey Rose?"

"I think I have had enough now anyway," Rosalie answered and everyone looked at her in surprise. "What, all of you left the fame behind and look how good your lives are turning out. Let's just say I think there are going to be other things for me to concentrate on over the next few years. Claudia will be finishing high school and trying to decide on what university she wants to go to, our baby will need me at home not travelling around the world suiting other people's whims and Emmett wants to do some car tinkering on a more professional basis so….."

"I've always wanted to be a big sister," Claudia let everyone know with pride and quite a few people in that room thought silently about how glad they were that she was so excited about the new member of her family. Claudia's presence in their life was now embedded. She was part of their family; a part of their life and the fact that she was comfortable with Rosalie and Emmett bringing a new dynamic into the situation spoke volumes. She felt part of it all too and she wasn't concerned that a baby would rock the boat for her position in the family. She was embracing it instead.

"And you are going to be the best one ever honey," Rosalie stated encouragingly as she hugged her daughter tenderly. "We couldn't ask for anything more."

Continued congratulations occurred and then Emmett turned to Jacob and Irina with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "So since this is a day of good news is there something that the two of you would like to let us know?"

Jacob glared at Emmett and muttered something under his breath about not accidently telling Emmett anything whilst under the influence of drink.

"Well I didn't really want to step on anyone's toes with the good news proclamations but since you have put us on the spot. Yes there is. I asked Irina to marry me last night and she said yes. We're getting married in August." Jacob looked down at Irina to confirm what he was saying was real and she tilted her head up for a small kiss. They lost themselves in one another for a few seconds before they realized that everyone had started congratulating them too.

"Wow, we are all one big explosion of happiness right now aren't we?" Bella declared with sincere joy. "Another baby to look forward to and another wedding to enjoy. I don't think we've had one since Alice and Jasper's wedding three years ago. This is a long time in coming Jacob. Glad you finally got the guts and sense to make it formal, my friend."

A soft squawk could be heard from baby Mia who was now being held by Charlie and it brought everyone's attention back to the fact that they were in a hospital room and that there were babies needs to be addressed.

"I think it is time we gave mum and dad some alone time with their babies everyone," Esme asserted and everyone showed their agreeance by saying their goodbyes and trailing out of the room one by one. When the final person left and the two new parents were left alone they looked at one another with happiness and a tinge of relief. They loved their family and friends but now was their time and they wanted to enjoy the new feeling of being a family rather than a couple.

"Well that was an eventful day, wasn't it," Edward reached out to affectionately touch the heads of both his children.

"Sure was. Everything is falling into place. Rosalie is finally going to get the one thing she had always wanted more than her singing career – a baby and my best friend is going to marry his soul mate. Best of all our babies are here and we are actually holding them the way I have been dreaming of for so long."

"An ideal day."

"They're beautiful aren't they Edward," Bella's eyes devoured the small bundles that were encompassed within her arms now and watched them with marvel.

"Just like their mother. I never knew it could feel like this; being a dad. So many emotions run through your head; love, protectiveness, awe, the list goes on and on but the absolute best thing Bella is that they are a little piece of you and a little piece of me and as far as I am concerned nothing could be better than that."

"I am in full agreeance Mr Cullen. Nothing is better than the two of us together and they are our proof. I love you for so many reasons Edward but Mia and Cooper…. I will never stop loving you for giving me the gift of them. Thank you so much."

Edward leant down and kissed the tops of each of their heads; Mia's, Cooper's and then Bella's before leaning down further to take Bella's lips in his own.

"Thanks right back at you Bella. I feel like everything is as it should be. We have our kids. We have our careers. Only a few more years and I will be out on my own as a pediatrician and I know that you are going to get the recognition you deserve with your screen plays soon." Edward paused to make sure his wife was looking right at him.

"And most importantly I have you. I will never stop loving you either, Bella Cullen. Although I have to share it a little more now, my heart belongs to you. You're the one that made it bloom."

"Perfect," Bella whispered into the neck of her husband.

"Absolutely perfect," Her husband muttered as he held tightly onto the family he had worked so hard for and he knew that their life ahead would be good because they all deserved it.

There was not a single person they knew who would say differently!

THE END


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